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Speaker 1: The sexism at my corporate job is sucking my soul

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Speaker 1: and literally making my hair fall out. And that's not

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Speaker 1: even the worst part. This is OKAYOP, Home of the

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Speaker 1: Craziest stories on Earth. I'm Sam and Riley. What should

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Speaker 1: OP do? Should they go nuclear? Should they burn down

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Speaker 1: the whole office? Bomb threat? Maybe burn it down? Burn

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Speaker 1: it down.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you got your hands on the insurance, get the.

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Speaker 1: Back, get the insurance claim. Now what would you do

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Speaker 1: the same thing? Dude? Great minds think alike? Are we telepathic? Oh? Dude,

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Speaker 1: I think we're having like a connection right here.

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Speaker 2: We really are. We've been together all day today.

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Speaker 1: And we're like together basically like every day since a

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Speaker 1: month ago. I love that and it's my favorite. I

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Speaker 1: love it all right, by the way, we live together.

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Speaker 1: So this is from top O the Muffin and they

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Speaker 1: say I've been with my company working on a specific

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Speaker 1: account for over two years. For the past year, I've

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Speaker 1: been leading a small team of myself and one other

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Speaker 1: employee who's working on set account. We have a third

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Speaker 1: team member, but they didn't work out, so I've been working.

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Speaker 1: I've been doing the work of two people while supervising

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Speaker 1: my coworker. That sounds like a.

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Speaker 2: Draged It sounds like three jobs.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Not only am I doing my job this guy

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Speaker 1: that got fired's job, but I'm having to supervise his

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Speaker 1: dim wit and tell me behe me.

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Speaker 2: You wouldn't know how that's like though, Unless you do,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to supervise a few people.

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Speaker 1: And we we do. I mean that's part of a

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Speaker 1: running a.

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Speaker 2: Biz bro supery dim wits.

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Speaker 1: Riley, how do I tell you this? Riley was the

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Speaker 1: smartest whipping the game. It wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

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Speaker 2: We really don't tolerate that. You didn't what yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: no no.

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Speaker 1: And Riley's about to make an HR complaint on me

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Speaker 1: right now for calling him a dimwitt, implying that he's

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Speaker 1: a dim wit, which I would, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: would never actually do because Riley is literally the best.

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Speaker 1: We love him dearly. If John was here, he would

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Speaker 1: say I also love her anyway. Recently we learned maybe

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Speaker 1: puppet John I should get sock puppets of you guys.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, that would be so funny.

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Speaker 2: If anyone has a sock puppet dealer, please, she had

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Speaker 2: a po box.

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Speaker 1: If someone could make a sock puppet of John. We

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Speaker 1: will use it in the show. You really would and Sam, Yeah, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Afraid what you do with my sock puppet crusty puppet.

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Speaker 1: To go there?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, Anyway, recently we learned that our company would no

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Speaker 1: longer be handling this account. My boss took me aside

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago and told me verbatim that

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Speaker 1: since this account was going away, he was giving me

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Speaker 1: the choice to choose between two other accounts to work on,

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Speaker 1: because I am a senior employ and he appreciates all

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Speaker 1: the hard work I put in over the past year,

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Speaker 1: so he wants to give me the first choice. I've

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Speaker 1: heard accounts way too many times. This is too corporate

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Speaker 1: for my mich account count count. It's important to mention

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Speaker 1: that one of the accounts fucking Jesus crimes too many

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Speaker 1: accounts he was letting me choose to work on is

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Speaker 1: our company's largest business. So it's a big opportunity that

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Speaker 1: would include some fun travel.

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Speaker 2: Oh nice. I wonder how any like millions into this account.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't. It doesn't necessarily have to be

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Speaker 1: a millions of the account. You know, it could be

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Speaker 1: any kind of account. Accounts are different, you know, and

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Speaker 1: the one thing you can account on is them all

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Speaker 1: being different. Come on, that was so funny. He told

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Speaker 1: me to take a spring break week to think about

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Speaker 1: it and let me know when I returned which one

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Speaker 1: I'd like to work on. Obviously, I knew I was

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Speaker 1: going to choose the larger account because I had previous

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Speaker 1: experience working on it and I wanted the opportunity to advance.

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Speaker 1: So today I get into the office and I meet

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Speaker 1: with my boss to give him my decision, and before

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Speaker 1: I could speak, he informs me that he has given

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Speaker 1: the large account to my male co w the one

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Speaker 1: that I was supervising. Is this misogyny, yo.

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Speaker 2: They probably went on like some lied business trip or

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Speaker 2: lied business like golf thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, it was like, you know, I would give

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Speaker 1: it to you instead. Op was the one that was supervising.

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Speaker 1: I imagine it's so she right, Yeah, she was the

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Speaker 1: one that was supervising AM And he gets the job

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Speaker 1: that doesn't make any sense, and he is giving me

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Speaker 1: the leftover account to work on. He also informed me

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Speaker 1: my male co worker would be traveling to cover an

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Speaker 1: event that was previously talked about me attending. I was

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Speaker 1: given no reason, and my boss acted like everything was

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Speaker 1: good and almost like he was delivering me happy news.

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Speaker 1: I was so shocked that I just froze and didn't

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Speaker 1: push back. Now I am pretty self aware and I'm

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Speaker 1: always working on improving. I am the first to admit

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Speaker 1: if I did something wrong that Warren's losing this opportunity. However,

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Speaker 1: the more I think about it, the more confused I am.

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Speaker 1: I led my team through a really hard time and

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Speaker 1: we did so well. I've never missed a deadline. I

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Speaker 1: work so hard. My boss even gave me an award

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Speaker 1: months ago. I also know it's not about my work

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Speaker 1: because he recently presented something I did to the whole

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Speaker 1: company because he liked it so much. On the other hand,

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Speaker 1: my male coworker is a really nice guy, but he

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Speaker 1: does the bare minimum. It needs a lot of handholding.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: When I've asked him for help in the past, he

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Speaker 1: needed so much handholding that I basically ended up doing

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Speaker 1: the work I asked him to help me with. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: at this point, I'm like, let him fail. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you're having to do all the work, he's going

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Speaker 1: to fail. At this big account and then you're gonna

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Speaker 1: then you're gonna get the promotion. And so just let

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Speaker 1: him let it be, like, let's have to like clean

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Speaker 1: it off after and just let him expose himself, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then she'll probably get the promotion with Yeah. Exactly

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Speaker 1: last week when I was out on vacation, he texted

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Speaker 1: me every day asking me to send him files or

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Speaker 1: ask questions he could have figured out on his own.

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Speaker 1: I've stepped up a million times to help take on

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Speaker 1: last minute projects because he gets easily stressed and cannot multitask.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, what don't why are you're doing his job? Oh?

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Speaker 1: P just stop, just stop doing it.

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Speaker 2: Those are the lamest excuses ever, Like I get stressed

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Speaker 2: and I cannot multitask.

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Speaker 1: You mean you can't do your.

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Speaker 2: Job, can't handle responsibility and execute.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not using this as an excuse to blame

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Speaker 1: me being a bad worker on gender inequality. This is

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Speaker 1: really the first time this has happened to me, and

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Speaker 1: it sucks. It feels out of my control. It just

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Speaker 1: doesn't add up at all. How do I address this

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Speaker 1: going forward? I doubt my boss would give me an

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Speaker 1: honest answer if I asked him about it. Yet this

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Speaker 1: is souring me big time in the company. I feel

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Speaker 1: very used and edit. I'm a mother and can't attend

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Speaker 1: all the after work social hours while my male coworker does.

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Speaker 1: He's smoothing. He's smoothing. My boss and co worker are

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Speaker 1: also buddies and have hung out outside of work. Also,

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Speaker 1: I have to work from home occasionally because I'm a

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Speaker 1: mom and my kid gets sick. He's a single dude

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Speaker 1: with no kids, so he's in office. Rain or shine?

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Speaker 2: Is that?

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Speaker 1: It? Is? It me? So we have a big update,

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Speaker 1: but really quick, really quick. So far, what do you

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Speaker 1: think OP should do? And do you think this is

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Speaker 1: a case of misogyny or do you think this is

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Speaker 1: a case of like something else. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It's definitely not like her work ethic or like her

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Speaker 2: work ability because honestly, she's doing his work. She's doing

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Speaker 2: three jobs supervising this guy. Yeah, she's doing it all.

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Speaker 2: There's nothing she's doing. Even if she made an excuse

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Speaker 2: of something, she can prove on like she sees that

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Speaker 2: and that's a quality in itself.

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Speaker 1: There's that quality. Thank you great, this is the Riley

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Speaker 1: appreciation episode. You look at that smile. Come on, how

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Speaker 1: could you turn it down? That smile? How could you

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Speaker 1: not promote that smile?

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Speaker 2: I can't stop you can't stop smiling. Anyway, we'll make

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Speaker 2: the next story of sam appreciation one. But if there's

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Speaker 2: hr like, absolutely go to them and see like about

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Speaker 2: the steps she can do. And it's trucky because it

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Speaker 2: is your boss and you want to be on good

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Speaker 2: terms with your.

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Speaker 1: There really isn't like anything like there's not like a

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Speaker 1: like a smoking gun that OP can point to and

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Speaker 1: say like this was like had misogyny within its intent.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's Also it may it may not

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Speaker 1: necessarily be like misogyny. It might be more that he's

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Speaker 1: just a better schmoozer. He just smooths.

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Speaker 2: He's definitely been smooth.

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Speaker 1: He's been schmoozing. Right, she could smooze, she could smooth

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Speaker 1: like she has a kid to take care of it,

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Speaker 1: to take care of me exactly exactly, like so she

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Speaker 1: has her own plate. And it's definitely not fair. But

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Speaker 1: like I feel like office politics are a unfortunate part

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Speaker 1: of the workplace. You know, it's just like that, and

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Speaker 1: that's just how it is. It's people don't get promoted

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Speaker 1: because they are better workers. They get promoted because they

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Speaker 1: know how to play the game, which is why I

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Speaker 1: hated corporate work stuff. I mean, I never really had

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Speaker 1: a corporate job.

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Speaker 2: But if you weren't so person, you would do really

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Speaker 2: good at it. No, I'm dismuosing part was a part

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Speaker 2: of it.

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Speaker 1: You would know I'm terrible at schmoozing.

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Speaker 2: Real.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well for things I'm not, I don't care about.

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Speaker 1: I just like I'm so, I'm very bad at it.

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Speaker 1: I'm very bad at John is really good. John can

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Speaker 1: work his work his way in a corporate setting. Whenever

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Speaker 1: we dealt with corporate clients in like the early days,

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Speaker 1: he was always the one that was like the person.

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Speaker 2: I swear, guys, this is the best duo you can

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Speaker 2: ever finds. They are insane the way they work to

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Speaker 2: bounce off each other.

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Speaker 1: Dude, John is the best at that. He's so good.

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Speaker 1: He's so good anyway that's gonna turn into John. But

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Speaker 1: to answer Opie's question is that it is it me?

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Speaker 1: I think it's probably. I mean, it definitely is that

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Speaker 1: he's schmoozing probably better than you. He just has more

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Speaker 1: FaceTime with the boss, which is important for promotions. Unfortunately

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Speaker 1: it's not you like, it's not. I don't think it's

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Speaker 1: anything like necessarily that you're doing wrong. I think it's

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Speaker 1: and it could very well be a little bit of misogyny,

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Speaker 1: yeah too, but I think the main thing is he's

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Speaker 1: just getting more FaceTime.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. Off the cuff. This is

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Speaker 2: four days later and she met with her boss. What

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Speaker 2: do you think is gonna happen? What it looks like

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Speaker 2: they may have taught, Like, what do you think is happening?

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Speaker 1: All right? I think it's gonna be misogyny or like

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Speaker 1: some kind of nepotism or not nepotism, but like, like,

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Speaker 1: I think the boss might ask ope to do the

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Speaker 1: work of this guy that he's getting promoted.

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Speaker 2: We've seen that before.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel I feel like that, and that's fucked.

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Speaker 1: That's fine, that's messed though. But let's get into this update.

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Speaker 1: So I just met with my boss and wanted to

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Speaker 1: provide an update on how the situation was handled and

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Speaker 1: what was said. I approached the conversation by reminding him

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Speaker 1: of the meeting we had prior to my vacation, where

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Speaker 1: he offered me the choice between two accounts and told

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Speaker 1: me to take my week off to think about it,

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Speaker 1: and we would discuss when I returned. I expressed to

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Speaker 1: him that I was caught off guard when I returned

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Speaker 1: to find out the larger account that I was offered

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Speaker 1: was given to coworker who is technically underneath me in seniority.

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Speaker 1: I told him I was trying to gain clarity on

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Speaker 1: the situation and understand why that choice was made so

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Speaker 1: I could in good faith move forward and not harbor

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Speaker 1: any uncomfortable feelings or to feel like I had done

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Speaker 1: something to warrant this opportunity being taken away from me. Essentially,

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Speaker 1: Oh what a mindset, which I mean well positioned and

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Speaker 1: well said yeah right away. He acted like he never

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Speaker 1: remembers the conversation where he offered me the choice ever happening,

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Speaker 1: gaslighting dude, I had a strong feeling he would try

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Speaker 1: and say he didn't remember, but I did not back

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Speaker 1: down and insisted that indeed happened. I am no liar.

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Speaker 1: He knows that he then acted like him giving the

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Speaker 1: account to also red Flag Red Flag like that. Now,

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Speaker 1: it seems like the fact that he's not owning up

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Speaker 1: to even the conversation I think means that there's something nefarious,

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Speaker 1: maybe going on something bad at play. He then acted

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Speaker 1: like him giving the account to the coworker wasn't that

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Speaker 1: big of a deal, and he claims the reason he

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Speaker 1: gave co work of the brand was because co worker

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Speaker 1: has chosen to travel to the big event in May

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Speaker 1: attached this account. I asked him why cowork was chosen

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Speaker 1: for this opportunity. He got really flustered when I asked this,

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Speaker 1: He fumbled his words, then finally said, well, coworker has

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Speaker 1: experiencing covering live events. This was a ridiculous excuse. First

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Speaker 1: and foremost, I also have experience covering live events. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I have more experience than co worker does when it

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Speaker 1: comes to this area. After he said it, he immediately

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Speaker 1: regretted it because I was deadpanned. He then says, do

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Speaker 1: you also have experience with live events? He knows the answer,

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Speaker 1: unless he's just ignored every conversation I've ever had with him.

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Speaker 1: Even if he didn't remember, he can deduce this from

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Speaker 1: my work history that was in my resume, But alas

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Speaker 1: I have talked about set experience a million times, he

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Speaker 1: knows but pretends he doesn't. So I just responded to

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Speaker 1: his question with yes, I have extensive experience. He replied, well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that he did know it, But let's

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Speaker 1: just play Devil's advocate and repent that he really does

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Speaker 1: have amnesia and can't remember. Why would he not just

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Speaker 1: ask around if anyone else has experience. It just feels

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Speaker 1: like it just feels like such a stupid answer. I

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Speaker 1: asked him if coworker wanted this brand. He said, coworker

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Speaker 1: never asked for it, but was excited when he offered

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Speaker 1: the travel opportunity. So that's what made him excited too

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Speaker 1: about having the account. So my coworker doesn't even care

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Speaker 1: to have the account. He just wants to travel. Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, So the boss is giving it to him.

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Speaker 1: He's like, oh, yeah, you want to travel, here's something

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Speaker 1: that help you travel, not like the ah, you could

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Speaker 1: do the work well either way. I was given a

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Speaker 1: load of word salad in an attempt to placate me

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Speaker 1: and keep me on the team. He kept telling me

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Speaker 1: how amazing of an employee I am, how much he

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Speaker 1: appreciates all my hard work, and re iterated over and

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Speaker 1: over that I have done absolutely nothing wrong in the

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Speaker 1: time I've been here. I asked about the social aspect

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Speaker 1: and reiterated to him that can be hard for me,

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Speaker 1: and he again insisted that the company cares more about

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Speaker 1: the work you create than the social stuff I mean,

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Speaker 1: which is what he has to say. After I left

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Speaker 1: the meeting, I learned that all of the men on

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Speaker 1: our overall team are going to the event. I'm not

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Speaker 1: pointing this out to imply sexism. Heaven forbid a woman

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Speaker 1: does that and she gets harassed by a bunch of

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Speaker 1: dudes on here. I'm pointing out it out because my

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Speaker 1: boss is one of the three men on the team,

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Speaker 1: so it's obvious this all boils down to him preferring

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Speaker 1: to travel with another guy. I get it. I'm not

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Speaker 1: trying to travel with a bunch of dudes either, But

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Speaker 1: the fact that he thought it would be okay to

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Speaker 1: remove an entire account he promised me solely because he

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Speaker 1: prefers to travel with other men is a joke. Also,

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Speaker 1: about twenty minutes after our meeting, I walked in on

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Speaker 1: the coworker and boss having a private conversation in the

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Speaker 1: hallway that seem to end when I walked out. Maybe

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Speaker 1: I'm being paranoid, but what do you all think think

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Speaker 1: of that?

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Speaker 2: What do you think, oh, yeah, they're definitely talking about

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Speaker 2: those yeah conversation.

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Speaker 1: If you can't tell by the tone I am writing

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Speaker 1: this update with I am done. Sure his response went

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Speaker 1: better than I could have, but he could have just

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Speaker 1: straight up told me a bunch of mean stuff or

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Speaker 1: that I sucked. But it made me realize that I

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Speaker 1: am not valued or even a consideration to this company

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Speaker 1: at all. They have used me to handle an extremely

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Speaker 1: difficult account, led me dry, and now when set account

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Speaker 1: no longer needs our help, they seem to no longer

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Speaker 1: need mine either. Going forward. Going forward, I will no

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Speaker 1: longer be assisting my mail co worker and am currently

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Speaker 1: looking for new opportunities in a place that will appreciate

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Speaker 1: my work, ethic and my talents. I also know I

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Speaker 1: made a lot of mistakes throughout this whole process and

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Speaker 1: have learned a hard lesson. However, I will say these

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Speaker 1: games in corporate are not okay or fair to everyone.

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Speaker 1: I mean it is. It's a corporate game, dude. It's

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Speaker 1: like climbing the corporate ladder is just all social games

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Speaker 1: and also do like I've learned, climbing the corporate ladder

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Speaker 1: is just about like, if you fuck up, just shifting

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Speaker 1: blame to another person. We worked with someone at one

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Speaker 1: of the companies that just like would completely shift blame

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Speaker 1: to other people to like not get in trouble.

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Speaker 2: That's insane, because like the right thing to do is

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Speaker 2: be like, I messed up. I'm gonna fix it.

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Speaker 1: That's the right thing to do. But it's about It's

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Speaker 1: all about appearances.

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Speaker 2: Dude, gosh, think I'm not in the corporate.

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Speaker 1: World yet, you coop? Corporate world sucks. It's sad to

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Speaker 1: think how many of these companies lose out on hard working,

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Speaker 1: loyal employees because they can't participate in silly little social games.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go and try not to let the

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Speaker 1: rest of my deby ruined by anger. It's going to

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Speaker 1: be difficult because wish me luck and thanks for any

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Speaker 1: helpful advice I've received on here. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: else to proceed from here other than just pound the

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Speaker 1: pavement looking for jobs until I find something new and

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Speaker 1: can get out of here. In the meantime, I will

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Speaker 1: be doing the bare minimum and nothing more so. And

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00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 1: there is a relevant comment so Holiday Doc nineteen ninety

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Speaker 1: five says OP, do you have any updates? And OP

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Speaker 1: replies ish my boss knows I'm mad. It is trying

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Speaker 1: to placate me by now offering a different account that

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Speaker 1: currently belongs to another coworker. And I like, it's like,

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Speaker 1: now that coworker is mad, and it just creates a shade.

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Speaker 1: I suspect the other co worker has no idea said

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Speaker 1: brand is being offered to someone else, and I know

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Speaker 1: for a fact they would be very upset to find out.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get out as fast as I can.

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Speaker 1: Boss got himself into a big pickle and it's trying

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Speaker 1: to dig his way out.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Yeah, this is it's just tough.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I mean it's just like I think that's

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Speaker 1: that's what happens when you work at a big corporate job.

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Speaker 1: It's just I feel like you just don't it's it's

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Speaker 1: just all social games.

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Speaker 2: Do you think it's still a hints of misogyny in this?

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Speaker 1: I mean I think it seems like with the boss

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Speaker 1: just wanted to travel with dudes. That's probably that's not

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Speaker 1: how you should base business decisions. But I think, yes,

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Speaker 1: probably that's at play. But I think the thing that

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Speaker 1: is more at play is the fact that like she

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Speaker 1: she she's not like, as she said, she's not able

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Speaker 1: to play those little like social games because she's just

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Speaker 1: not there at the office all the time, and so

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Speaker 1: it's an unfortunate part of that world. But I think

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Speaker 1: I think it's more because of that. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: it's definitely at play, but I think it's it's all

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Speaker 1: like more because of that too. But maybe, you know,

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Speaker 1: even if she was playing, actually, even if she was

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Speaker 1: playing the social games, the boss gave it to the

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Speaker 1: other guy because he wanted to travel with dudes. It

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Speaker 1: seems like, yeah, so then that's pretty misogynistic. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I would love to know what you guys think. What

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Speaker 1: do you think? Is it more the social games or

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Speaker 1: do you think it's the misogyny Let us know in

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Speaker 1: the comments below. But there is an update, so yeah, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So this is nine months later, and this is pretty

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Speaker 1: recent on December twenty six, twenty three, so I know

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Speaker 1: it's been quite a long time to my last post,

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Speaker 1: but I wanted to provide a few updates because a

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Speaker 1: few people have asked. After I confronted my boss about

390
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Speaker 1: my coworker receiving an account I was promised my boss.

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Speaker 1: My boss gave me two differ accounts. Later found out

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Speaker 1: one of the accounts was taken from a coworker without

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Speaker 1: her knowing until the day I took it over. At first,

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00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 1: things were good and I was enjoying the change. It

395
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:13,480
Speaker 1: didn't last long and issues began to arise again. My

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00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:18,160
Speaker 1: boss became extremely micromanaging over everything I did. He partnered

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Speaker 1: me with a copywriter that he my boss, doesn't get

398
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 1: along with, so they were constantly fighting and I was

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Speaker 1: in the middle having to mediate and pass messages along

400
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 1: between two grown men because they refused to speak to

401
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Speaker 1: each other.

402
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,639
Speaker 2: Oh being the middle men's the world.

403
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 1: I was absolutely dumped on with work, and when I

404
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 1: expressed I was drowning, my boss would blame it on

405
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 1: my copywriting partner that he hates for some reason and

406
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,720
Speaker 1: start yelling at him, which caused so many issues. So

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Speaker 1: I just stopped telling my boss when I was over

408
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 1: worked time out.

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Speaker 2: Do you see where this is going?

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00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 1: It feels like he's just creating an environment for her

411
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 1: to leave.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, put I see you in the comments.

413
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, tell us if you see the same thing.

414
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 1: The work got so bad it was at a point

415
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 1: where I was being a message asking me to make

416
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Speaker 1: work changes while I was outsick with COVID. Reason for

417
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 1: the changes is because people higher up dropped the ball,

418
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 1: yet I was being held responsible. I stopped responding when

419
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 1: I was sick, which caused issues. Anytime I was off work,

420
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: I was being contacted by work, either about work or

421
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Speaker 1: to do work. I had no home life. I was

422
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Speaker 1: coming home and crashing every night. She's a mom too, Yeah, dude,

423
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,879
Speaker 1: so bad, so bad. Probably not a surprise, but this

424
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 1: led to major burnout and one day I started having

425
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Speaker 1: extreme panic attacks when I would go into work. It

426
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,719
Speaker 1: got so bad one day I called in and went

427
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Speaker 1: to my doctor and cried and told her I can't

428
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Speaker 1: do it anymore. I was so broken. She signed me

429
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Speaker 1: off for six weeks medical leave. I told my boss

430
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: about going on leave, did not tell him why other

431
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 1: than I was having a medical issue, and he lost

432
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 1: his mind. Told me I was blindsiding him with medical leave.

433
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Speaker 1: He told me he was going to hire someone to

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Speaker 1: replace me while I was gone for six weeks well,

435
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 1: and told me, I hope you get the help you need,

436
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 1: despite me not disclosing this was for mental health, which

437
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: I feel like that this might be illegal. What are

438
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 1: he's saying?

439
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, even in the corporate real world. Yeah.

440
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially in the corporate world, especially because there's like

441
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 1: a lot of protections that are built for employees there.

442
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: He then told my coworkers I was going on leave

443
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 1: before I had a chance to, which pissed them off

444
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 1: because then they felt blindsided.

445
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: Is ever restirn the pot to? Oh, stirn the pots?

446
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 1: Yep. So I took the leave because I was too

447
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: burned out to care about my company's reaction. I was

448
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,360
Speaker 1: so broken for the first two weeks. It didn't help

449
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,919
Speaker 1: that my old male coworker who got the account I

450
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 1: was promised before, was messaging me on my medical leave

451
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: asking work questions. Please tell me did it respond? Oh

452
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,719
Speaker 1: v questions that about an account we don't even work

453
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 1: on anymore. I never responded. Good. I've been off now

454
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 1: for four weeks so far, and during this time off,

455
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 1: I've made so much progress with my physical and mental health.

456
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,679
Speaker 1: I began exercising. I've lost thirteen pounds, most from not

457
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,159
Speaker 1: eating due distress. I started new medication and even have

458
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: been working more with my therapist and started seeing a

459
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: psych nurse practitioner who is helping treat my ADHD symptoms

460
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: that caused me a lot of stress. It's been great

461
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 1: and I feel like a new person. Oh and my

462
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: hair stopped falling out since I've been on leave, so

463
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 1: I know now that was due to stress. Your hair

464
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 1: was falling out.

465
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: You got to be able to find another job. This

466
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 2: is not a good place.

467
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Yeah. Not only is the work terrible,

468
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: but I mean the social environment is terrible to everything's

469
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 1: taking a toll. But now i have to go back

470
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: in two weeks and I'm already panicking about it. My

471
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: psych NP thinks it's too soon. But since she's not

472
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 1: the original doctor who filled out my paperwork my GP did,

473
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if she would be able to fill

474
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: out the papers that are required to extend my leave.

475
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 1: I'm scared to ask my general practitioner to extend because

476
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 1: then she will have to fill out another huge packet

477
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: from my company. And she's a busy doctor. I mean

478
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 1: that's her job, though, so I think you should ask that.

479
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 1: My psych NP. I guess that's nurse practitioner said. If

480
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: I do go back, she wants me working from home

481
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: three days a week and only in office too. See,

482
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 1: on top of all the stuff I've had to endure

483
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 1: at work. I also have a really bad ADHD, sensory

484
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,919
Speaker 1: processing disorder, and suspected autism, all of which has been

485
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: untreated until now. Well, my new medication is beginning to work.

486
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: The environment in which I work is adding to my overwhelm.

487
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,159
Speaker 1: On top of the toxicity I'm experiencing. For my boss,

488
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: there's a huge, long accommodation process that I have to

489
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: go through at work, and that can take months. I

490
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: use this time off to look for a new job,

491
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: which freaking amazing OPI. I've been too burned out to

492
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 1: even consider looking at other jobs while I was working,

493
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: But since I've been on leave at the end of

494
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: the year, not many companies are hiring, and I haven't

495
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: had any success in locating out something else during the break,

496
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: So that's where I'm at currently. It's such a mess.

497
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 1: This company has destroyed my mental and physical health. But

498
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: now I'm stuck. I'm a single mom. My ex husband

499
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: doesn't work, so I'm responsible for my son's insurance and

500
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: the majority of his expenses, so I can't just quit

501
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: my job without anything lined up. But at the same time,

502
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 1: I'm terrified at the mental and physical repercussions of me returning.

503
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 1: I know my health is more important than any job,

504
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: but when you are slave to wages I don't have

505
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 1: much in savings, you don't have a choice. I wish

506
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: I had a happier update, but maybe someone else can

507
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: learn from my mistakes. I was too accommodating and put

508
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 1: too much of my energy into this job thanks to

509
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: my ADHD tendencies of going all in on everything I do,

510
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: and I was taken advantage of and ran ragged, and

511
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: when I asked for help, I was dismissed. So that's it.

512
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,919
Speaker 1: If anyone has any advice for me on what I

513
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 1: should do now, please feel free to spam me with

514
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: whatever you have. I'm so desperate at this point to

515
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: not go back. If you made it this far, they

516
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: give for reading along and following along with this mess.

517
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: Hopefully within the next few months I'll have a more

518
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 1: positive update.

519
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: Oh that sucks, this is pretty this is bad.

520
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 1: This is bad, dude. I mean, I would love to

521
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: know in the comments, Like anyone who's been in corporate

522
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: and has left a corporate job for maybe a better

523
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 1: corporate job or something else, I would love to know

524
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 1: how you did it. I mean, for me, I had

525
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: like one job in an office. Yeah, but it was

526
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 1: interviewing porn stars and like an entrepreneurial setting. Like I

527
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: was like basically like interviewing people that had businesses in

528
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: like the adult film industry. It was really interesting. It

529
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: was pretty cool. It's like guy Roz, how I built

530
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: this but for porn stars and stuff.

531
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: Wow.

532
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like that was the only real job that

533
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 1: I have, And every interaction I've had with like that

534
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: doesn't even feel like a real It wasn't it was

535
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 1: it was it. I got it because I interviewed the

536
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: founder for another like a podcast that I had called

537
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: Finding Founders. But yeah, I mean like my and my

538
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: all my interactions like working in a like for like

539
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 1: I've like contracted out for like a couple of corporate clients,

540
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: and all of it has just been awful, Like I've hated. Yeah,

541
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: it sucks. I did.

542
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 2: I did one corporate internship. It was with del Carnegie. Yeah,

543
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 2: and the people were there were nice because they have.

544
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: To be nice. But yeah, just like I was with

545
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: the brand of how to Win friends and Influence people, Yeah.

546
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 2: They have to be nice to you. But like sit

547
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 2: in that cubicle man does things to you.

548
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: I mean it breaks your spirit, It really does. I

549
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: think like a lot of corporate America is built to

550
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,239
Speaker 1: break spirits and just put you in a box and

551
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: make you a cock. Yeah, and like it's it's already

552
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: not the best experience in general, but to have like

553
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: all of this mess going on as well makes it unbearable. Yeah.

554
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: I would love to know, like for people who have

555
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 1: worked in corporate and maybe gotten into better corporate situations,

556
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 1: like how did you do it?

557
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, yeah for sure, let us know. We

558
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 2: don't know anything about that.

559
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, if you want to listen to my interview,

560
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 1: look up An Unconventional Life with Alex Links and Samuel Donor.

561
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 1: It's pretty cool interview. I think it's on podcasts.

562
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 2: Podcasts. Yeah, man, man, I feel a little empty right now?

563
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: Did I feel bad for repeat?

564
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, just in general, if I'm just lucky, Hey

565
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 2: you have me though?

566
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

567
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 2: Do you have something for me?

568
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: I have love to give you always and and a

569
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: hug courier, No.

570
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 2: And what you trying to work? In a segue, this

571
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 2: is the second one of our second on here.

572
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: This is so.

573
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 2: Whoa where's the jar? A jar? They told me if

574
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 2: I ever needed like to do an HR report. I

575
00:27:58,359 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 2: have to write or read a story about.

576
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: It, be fair, and then they report it to the community.

577
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 2: Yeah dude, yo, they could be my HR.

578
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: Dude, yeah, cancel us. The internet is actually I might.

579
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: Actually do like go on our sober and be like,

580
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 2: please do not Sam touch my boobies during your recording. Yeah,

581
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 2: and I have proof I might do that. Yeah.

582
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 1: Thanks bud. Here, I am just showing my love by

583
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 1: squeezing your boobies. And this is how you were paying with.

584
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 2: An HR report through Reddit. I don't have many options, man,

585
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 2: These options left me.

586
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: All right, well, let's go into another Is this gonna

587
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: be nicer?

588
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 2: Oh? No, man,