WEBVTT - All You Need is 1 YES (How To Push Through Rejection) 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.000 Hey everyone, It's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:07.840 my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:12.160 experience on purpose in person. Join me in a city 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:17.239 near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:20.479 could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:25.079 or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth, 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:29.200 spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:32.440 meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:36.000 for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:37.720 meet and greet with photos. 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:39.360 Tickets are on sale now. 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.560 Head to Jsheddy, dop me Forward, slash Tour and get 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:48.400 yours today. And what I found is that pressure doesn't 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:53.760 attract success and joy, and being passive doesn't attract success 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:56.960 and joy, and the only place that does is peace. 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.000 And peace is me saying I'm going to do everything 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.840 I can and then leave the result up to what 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.000 the universe is, what God wants, whatever the energy is 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:10.920 around me. But I'm going to do everything I possibly 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.000 can because I think there may be a lot of 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:16.800 people listening right now who are doing something where they 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:20.760 studied for it. They were educated for it, they worked 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.520 hard for it. Their parents maybe even were really impressed 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:25.680 that they did it, and now they're at an age 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.319 where they're going I think I want to change my career. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.640 Like I don't think this satisfies me anymore. 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:33.840 The number one health and wellness podcast. 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:36.319 Jay Seti, Jay Shetty Only. 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.360 Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm your host, 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.240 Jay Shetty, and I am so grateful that you've decided 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:49.520 to join me today. This is a very special episode 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:53.240 because I'm in Qatar at Web Summit and right now 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:57.280 I'm sitting inside the iHeart studio and there are people 0:01:57.320 --> 0:02:00.560 around the studio who have headphones on who can listen 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.440 to the podcast. Hello everyone outside. We've never done this 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:08.000 before ever, which is awesome. And I'm really excited because 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:12.280 my best friend of nearly the last two decades now 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:15.399 is in the house. He recently moved to Dubai. We're 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:17.960 in Doha. He's flown over so that we can hang 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:20.800 out because we now need to schedule our hangouts because 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:24.079 that's what happens with adult friendships. And I'm so grateful 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.040 because I thought I'd invite him on the show today 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:29.320 so that we can share some of the most pivotal 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:34.040 moments of our friendship careers life over the last two decades, 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:35.960 and I thought it would be a special treat for you. 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:40.360 So welcome to the episode, Nanda, who is in the 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:42.120 studio with me. Nanda, thanks for joining me. 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:43.000 Thanks so much. 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.919 Jay. I can't believe that we've known each other for 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:49.440 nineteen years and we speak probably three times a week, 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:52.560 and you choose to drop about half an hour ago 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:55.440 that I'd like to bring you onto the podcast, like, 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:58.639 give me an opportunity to prepare. This is my big moment. 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:01.360 And literally I'm meeting a berg and you're like, actually, 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:02.400 I think you should come on the podcast. 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.280 Number That's exactly what happened. 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.080 We were having a casual conversation, even though we have 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:09.559 three casual conversations a week. 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.040 And I was just like, yeah, you know, it would 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:11.680 be really fun. 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.040 We've never done this before and it would be a 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:15.760 really good idea, and I thought it'd be fresh for 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:20.920 my amazing community to hear about our friendship life, the 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.240 journey that we've both been on, the journey that I've 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.760 been on through your perspective. And yes, just so everyone knows, 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:29.880 Nanda's had no time to prepare. We both came up 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:31.600 with this. Well, no, he didn't come up with this idea. 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.959 I came up with this idea thirty minutes ago. And 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:36.800 here we are, so let's de it. I've known Nanda 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:39.800 ever since before I became a monk, and I remember 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:40.800 actually saying that to you. 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:41.720 I wanted to do that. 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.040 I then even talked to you when I was leaving 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:49.360 the monastery and all the challenges of reintegration of my 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:52.160 health and everything else, all the way through to which 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.640 we'll talk about some of these events of spending time 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:56.480 in New York together in the early stages of my 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:01.000 career LA and now all the way through to Dubai, Doha, 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.200 and so where should we starting under. 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:06.040 It's just incredible to think nineteen years is a long 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:07.840 long time. And I certainly remember the first time I 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.720 did meet you back in two thousand and six, and yeah, 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:13.160 that journey that you just talked about. The thing that 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:16.080 just jumps to me is I think people already know 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:19.080 a little bit about your desire to become a monk. 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:21.599 And when I first met you, you were out of 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:24.280 the box thinker. You were like, Okay, I know I 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:26.520 can crush it in the corporate world, but I want 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.000 to do something different. So I really want to start 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.560 with when you left the ashram. And the reason I 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:33.000 want to start with that is because I remember that 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:37.280 conversation very very clearly. You're heartbroken because you went in 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.920 with a very clear idea of I'm doing this for life, 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:43.400 like I'm signed up. We spoken about it many times before. 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.159 For those of you that don't know Jay, he's an 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.680 all or nothing guy, so a real extremist in the 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:50.200 sense of if I'm going to achieve something, I'm going 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:52.719 to go all in. So I want to want you 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.000 to really share how did that feel, because I guess 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:58.920 that was the first inverted commas failure for something that 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:02.039 was really caught who you were and what you wanted 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:04.000 to do. As you're offering to the world. 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:07.280 Well, I want people to know also that now we're friends, 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.880 but in the beginning of our relationship, you or my mentor, 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:13.600 because you'd been practicing spirituality for far longer than me, 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:16.840 and so when I first came in, you were someone 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:18.440 that I turned to for advice, and of course I 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.680 still do that today as a friend, but at that 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.719 time it was very much so you were sharing with 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.359 me experience insight, and so it was natural for me 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:28.719 to come to you at that time. And I've always 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:31.480 described it like a divorce because I think that's the 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.919 only analogy that makes sense for someone who doesn't know 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.560 what it feels like to become a monk and leave. 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.719 It feels like I got married for three years to 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.599 the love of my life and then I figured out 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.200 that it wasn't going to last and that it wasn't 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:47.840 going to work. So the heartbreak you'd feel from a 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:51.200 breakup or a divorce is the heartbreak I felt from 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:55.760 leaving the monastery. Because, let me paint a picture for everyone, 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.040 I really didn't know what I was going to do. 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:00.840 I think a lot of people feel like I had 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:03.120 a plan, or I had a strategy, or I. 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:05.440 Knew what I was going to do. I had no clue. 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.520 And if I'm completely honest, I was really scared about 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:11.960 going back to the workplace because I was worried. I 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:13.520 was thinking, wait a minute, do I have to go 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:17.000 back into consulting or financi or business because that's what 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:19.479 I would have done. Will I be able to make 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.200 it in that space? How will I be able to survive? 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.479 I've been doing what I love for three years, which 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:27.920 is study wisdom, teach it, share, do a lot of 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:31.479 philanthropy work. That's what I've been doing. How am I 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:33.320 going to do that in the workplace? So I had 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.280 no clarity. I was moving back in with my parents, 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:40.559 which felt like a failure. I remember the community having 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:42.039 judgment over my decision. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.880 Right. It wasn't like I came back to a fanfare 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:46.520 of no. 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.520 There wasn't. Yeah, in a bizarre way, there were certainly 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.800 some people that were like, oh, really, you think you 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.680 can do this? And so when you didn't end up 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.799 doing it because of the health challenges and other reasons 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:01.240 that came up, yeah, I'm sure it would have been 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:04.159 a real kick in the face. And I think we 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.800 speak about this all the time in terms of plot twist, 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:11.280 but the way the journey has then unfolded is really remarkable. 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:13.360 But I certainly remember those early days where it was 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.880 like I just need to pay my bills, Like what 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:18.640 am I going to do? Like what is my core 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:21.480 skill set here? And I'm sure you shared it in 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.240 other places, but all the different jobs you were applying to, 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.520 all the rejections you got, we wore Yeah, we read 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.680 it in books all the time, but this is real, 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.120 this is real life, and for me it's been an 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:35.360 inspiration seeing you on this journey. And one of the 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.040 things I want to talk about in this podcast and 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:40.160 in the five minutes you gave me to prepare was 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.680 was this idea of the beast mindset that you can 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:46.320 clock into. And we speak about this all the time. 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:50.240 Jay has this belief that everyone can unlock this part 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:54.720 of their brain that really fulfills their potential. And I 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:59.280 think that in those times of challenge, that's when your 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:02.280 backwards against the wall, you really found out who you were, 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:04.480 and I guess you also found out who your friends 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:05.400 were in that moment. 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:05.960 Yeah. 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:08.080 I always look back to a piece of advice that 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.400 Thomas Power, one of my other mentors in life, would 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:14.000 often say to me. He'd say that when you're in 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:17.400 moments of pain, that's when you'll find your potential. 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:18.520 And whenever you used to. 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.160 Say that, I used to be like, yeah, yeah, all right, 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:22.960 like yeah, I used to be like okay, like I 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:26.280 know my potential. I'm pretty okay, I'll figure it out. 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:28.720 And then when I was in those moments, so at 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:30.880 that time when we're talking about right now. I was 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.959 rejected from forty companies and I didn't even get an 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.840 interview at those companies. And I'm someone who got a 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:40.200 first class degree, yep, and so not getting an interview 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:42.680 at forty companies. And I'm saying this not for you 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:44.760 to think, oh, Jay, you're amazing. I'm saying this because 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:46.840 I actually feel a lot of you might be in 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:48.920 this position right now where you're trying to make a 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:51.600 transition in your career. You're trying to make a new job, 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:54.040 you're trying to sell a new product, you're building a 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:57.560 new business, and all you're getting is rejection after rejection 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:01.680 after rejection. And that experience gave to me was two things. 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:06.080 One was all you need is one yes. All you 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:10.000 need is one yes. All I needed was one company, Accentia, 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:11.680 to say we're going to give you a shot. 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:12.760 Yeah, and we're going to put. 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:14.720 You on a graduate scheme at twenty five, twenty six 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:16.959 years old, but we're going to give you a shot. 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.600 So that's one thing. And the second thing I learned 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:23.400 is that it's all a game of odds. Yes, it's 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:25.319 all about the law of odds. And what I mean 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.959 by that is it is simply as basic as the 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:32.360 more doors you knock on, the more open. So if 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.760 you've not had any open doors, you just haven't knocked 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.000 on enough. And so I think I learned those two 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:41.199 really critical skills. And then fast forward a few years later, 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:43.880 which we'll get to, when I was four months away 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:46.840 from being broke, it was the same principles I had 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:49.160 to go back to, was all you need is one yes, 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:52.240 and if no doors have opened, you just haven't knocked 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:52.720 on enough. 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:55.520 Well, one of the interesting things about that is in 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:58.920 order to knock on doors, you need humility because the 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:00.920 likelihood is you're going to not on the door and 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.080 it's not going to open. It's going to take that much. 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:06.680 And in the monastery, obviously we focus very much on 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.400 the principle of humility. And again it sounds great in 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.480 the books, but can you actually live it, Like if 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.679 this is really my service in life, and I'm obviously 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.040 thinking about it now, like I transition from law to 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:21.600 what I'm doing now, which is as a leadership coach 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:24.760 and an entrepreneur and trying to sell that's not natural 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.319 to me. It's really uncomfortable, actually, And the reason it's 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:30.760 uncomfortable is because I have to go to people and say, 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:34.360 would you like my service? I'm very happy to provide 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.599 the service, but yeah, I think it requires real humility 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:41.000 and continuing to do it, not from a place of desperation, 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:42.839 but really from a place of service. And I think 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:45.560 I think you nail that, and that's why, as we say, 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:46.800 the universe reciprocated. 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.280 Yeah, it's a really fine point you brought out, and 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:53.280 it's challenging because I think we operate from two places 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.880 as humans. One is passive, yes, and so we're like, oh, 0:10:56.920 --> 0:11:00.439 it will happen when it happens. If the universe providesids, 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:03.600 it will work out just the way it's meant to. 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:07.120 And we say these phrases, but beneath them there's an 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:11.440 insecurity and an uncertainty. And the opposite way we function 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:14.880 as humans is we're pressured. So we think, oh my gosh, 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:17.800 that person's already sold their company and they're only thirty five, 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.080 and oh my gosh, that person just made one hundred 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:21.880 thousand dollars doing that, and oh my god that So 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:24.720 there's pressure. So we either function from being passive it 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.679 will happen when it's happened, or pressure, Oh my god, 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.920 it's not happening for me. And what I found is 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:36.280 that pressure doesn't attract success and joy, and being passive 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.800 doesn't attract success and joy, and the only place that 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:44.120 does is peace. And peace is me saying I'm going 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.880 to do everything I can and then leave the result 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:51.600 up to what the universe is, what God wants, whatever 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.600 the energy is around me. But I'm going to do 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:57.199 everything I possibly can. And it goes back to your point. 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.040 And by the way, I've seen you do this, and 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:00.880 I think it's in I wanted to talk about it 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.400 through stories that people may not be familiar with. You 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:07.040 were a really successful lawyer. You were doing great, and 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:10.200 you decided that it wasn't fulfilling you. And I actually 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.280 want to ask you about that because I think there 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.400 may be a lot of people listening right now who 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:18.320 are doing something where they studied for it, they were 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:21.880 educated for it, they worked hard for it, Their parents 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:24.520 maybe even were really impressed that they did it, and 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.959 now they're at an age where they're going I think 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.160 I want to change my career, like I don't think 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:31.640 this satisfies me anymore. And it's harder when you've done 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:35.080 something like law which took years of training, years of 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:38.600 building up. How did you get comfortable with giving up 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:42.040 your feeling around sunk cost bias? For anyone who doesn't know, 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.679 sunk cost bias does an economic term which means I've 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:48.160 already invested so much time, money, or energy down this path. 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:50.360 And usually what it does is it keeps you on 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.360 that path because you think I've invested too much to 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.839 let it go. That's why people don't change careers, It's 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.880 why people don't break up from relationships, It's why people 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.920 don't do any of those things. For you, what finally 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:04.400 gave you confidence to say, you know what, even though 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.040 I'm really good at law, even though I make a 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:08.280 really good living, even though I have a family and 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.840 two kids, I'm still going to take a risk Because 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:12.960 in my eyes, me going off to become a monk 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.000 was a risk, but you pivoting your career at that 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:17.160 age was also a risk. 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:19.959 What got you there, it was a huge risk, and 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.040 it was in terms of the investment in the sunk 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.560 cost was a three year law degree, a one year LPC, 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:28.760 a two year training contract, and then ten years post 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.719 qualified in law. So that's a lot of years of 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.920 studying to try and become a specialist in something. And 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.600 at that point, I think two things happen. You get 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:40.480 the golden handcuffs, i e. The salary goes up, and 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.080 whilst the salary is going up, your standard of living 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.240 has also gone up. So you've then got the mortgage. 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:46.959 As you know, at that point, I was already married 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:50.400 with two kids as well, so it was a huge risk, 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:52.800 but I think it came. I mean, I certainly got 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.400 some courage from you, and I'm really grateful for those 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:58.200 walks around central London when you were in that period 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.040 of transition and you're incurring me. And I remember you 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.920 specifically saying, hey, Nanda, you know when you're at your 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:07.199 best is when you're talking to people and when you're 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:10.760 coaching people and when you're public speaking, So why don't 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:13.079 you do that? And I'm like, oroh, that's not a career. 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:18.079 That's not a career. Unless I'm speaking in court, that's 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:21.200 not a career. So you really helped me think outside 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:24.080 of the box, and you touched on the cultural nuances 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.000 and you joke about it all the time, right, like 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.680 as an Indian, it's a doctor, a lawyer. 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:30.560 What's the third or a failure? 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:30.800 Right? 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:33.000 Exactly, so you were already winning. 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:35.480 I was already winning in life. That was My mom 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:37.920 was happy, my dad is, My grandparents were happy, like 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.080 I was the chosen one. When I go to family events, 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.800 and all of a sudden, what I found was they 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:47.240 were resisting to change, not because they didn't love me, 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:49.920 but simply because they'd also come to the country and 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:53.080 so security was their primary driver. So out of love, 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:54.720 they were like, why would you want to do this? 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.600 You're now so close to where you ultimately want to be. 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.600 But of course, I think that's where spirituality really comes in, 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:03.000 because it makes us think about, well, where do we 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.400 really want to be and what really makes us thrive. 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:08.640 So in my case, I found a huge amount of 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.920 courage from the fact that the bits that I enjoyed 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.640 in law were like when I'd talk to clients or 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:18.120 when I would do conferences within the legal industry or 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:21.600 business development people people people. So I was like, okay, 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:23.960 I like it. Fortunate enough, I managed to go ton 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.800 to a four day week. On my non working day, 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:30.120 I worked and I got myself qualified as an ICF 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:34.120 credit coach. I started working and I got the feedback, 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.080 the validation to say, this is a runner, this can work, 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.480 and so yeah, the rest is history. But it wasn't 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.440 easy by any means. But I often say you need 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:47.000 cheerleaders around you at that time because self doubt is 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.960 going to be all over you. And so I'm so 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:52.040 grateful to you because I really feel like you were 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.280 a pivotal person, just as I was a pivotal person 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:57.800 for you when you were younger at that particular time. 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:01.480 You reciprocated tenfold because you were there for me and 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:02.920 maybe believe it's possible. 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.400 Yeah, no, because I saw it, and I think you're 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:05.840 so right. 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.720 This is why our friends are so important in being 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:12.280 honest with us, in noticing our strengths, being honest about 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.360 our weaknesses, noticing our values. And I always say to people, 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.160 if any of you are struggling with what you should 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:19.520 do for work, sometimes just go around to your friends 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.080 and meet them one on one and say, Hey, have 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.720 a really honest discussion with me. What do you think 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:25.280 is my number one skill? What do you think I'm 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:27.360 actually good at? And your friend might be like you 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:29.880 plan the best parties, like that's what you're good at, 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:33.320 or you know what, whenever it's whenever there's a big event, 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.880 coming up. You're really good at event planning, and all 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.720 of a sudden, I've done this with my sister, and 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.240 I've seen that my sister's always organized lots of retreats, 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.680 she's organized lots of events. She's really talented at that. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:47.200 It isn't her career, and I'm constantly nudging her in 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.000 that direction and saying, hey, have you thought about wedding planning? 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:51.840 Have you thought about birthday planning? Have you thought about 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:52.480 event planning? 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:53.160 And so. 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.360 But what I loved about watching you make that transition 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.440 was that I think a lot of people think, oh, 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.040 when I get a million followers, then i'll make a transition. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.400 Oh when I make X amount of money, then I'll 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:06.920 make a transition, And you were actually making it while 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:10.320 you were there, and the sign of success was good feedback. 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:15.000 And so I think not postponing that transition, that pivot, 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.639 that switch. And I love what you said because I 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:19.960 think this is true for everyone. You have to have 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.560 one foot in either boat. Yes, at the beginning, so 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:24.520 you were gone down to a four day week. One 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:29.440 day became coaching, Studying weekends became that going doing the exams, 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.040 the course, and when you've got one foot in each boat. 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:33.600 Once you're confident enough. 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:35.159 You didn't take the other thing, you take the other 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:37.159 leap exactly, rather than what I think a lot of 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:39.480 us do is we've got two feet in one boat, 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.280 the other boat so far away, and you go, oh, no, 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:44.000 it's all about the jump. It's all about the leap, 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.640 and you kind of amp yourself up, then you jump, 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:48.800 and then you fall into the water, and now you're 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:51.040 drowning because you're like, wait a minute, I don't even 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:53.120 know where the other boat is. And so I don't 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.480 want to glorify risk because I think a lot of 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:56.760 people will be like, you have to take a risk, 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:58.440 you got to do something big, you got to take 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.320 a leap. And I'm like, well, well you've got to 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:03.280 be a little bit measured and a little bit practiced 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:03.600 as well. 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:05.520 I meanf you've got a mortgage to pay, it absolutely. 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.480 But I think this point around understanding the difference between 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:13.240 your self awareness and external feedback and getting that balance right, 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:15.640 because yeah, we can amp things up in our own head, 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:18.440 and we can think we're the greatest speaker and the 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:23.480 greatest coach or the greatest podcast host, but actually the validation, 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:26.960 of course comes from the outside world, and you know 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:28.359 if you're doing a good job, but you're going to 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:29.919 find out very quickly. I think you're going to find 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:31.680 out quickly. But you're also going to feel really good. 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.000 For me, Like, even if I was doing a good 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:37.040 job in law, I didn't feel good. So that for me, 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:41.040 that internal compass was always very clear. This wasn't what 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:43.520