Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature feature production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host
Speaker 1: of Many Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology and evolutionary biology,
Speaker 1: and today on the show we are securing, protecting, and
Speaker 1: containing some mysterious cryptids that are very much real. If
Speaker 1: you're a fan of weird internet culture, you've probably heard
Speaker 1: of the SCP Foundation, a mysterious compendium of top secret,
Speaker 1: totally real, transdimensional paranormal phenomena. It's said that the SCP
Speaker 1: Foundation is an example of collaborative writing fiction and sure
Speaker 1: it's fictional. That's totally not something a super top secret
Speaker 1: organization would say. So I'm going to go through some
Speaker 1: real life documented animals who could easily be SCP entries.
Speaker 1: From the Grim Reaper who floats in the midnight Zone,
Speaker 1: to a pile of undead spiders. These creatures have all
Speaker 1: been found to data expunged. Discover this and more as
Speaker 1: we answer the agele question Eric Data redacted. Joining me
Speaker 1: today our hosts of the one nine hundred hot dog
Speaker 1: podcast dog Zone nine thousand, Robert Brockway and Shan Maybe
Speaker 1: perfect pronunciation perfect, nobody ever does the extra gees and
Speaker 1: Z's thank you Yeah there's two gs, two z's. I'm
Speaker 1: Sean Baby, I studied volleyball and bud light Nice, I'm
Speaker 1: Robert Brockway, and thank you for containing and hopefully protecting me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and securing, don't forget securing. Well, that's impossible. So the
Speaker 1: inspiration for this episode actually came from a young listener
Speaker 1: named Max who asked me to do an episode about
Speaker 1: animals that could be the subject of the SEP Foundation.
Speaker 1: It is this quote unquote fictional website where they have
Speaker 1: Wikipedia entries that are meant to look like they come
Speaker 1: from this shadowy governmental organization, where they describe the things
Speaker 1: that they secure contain, protect transdimensional creepy paintings, animals that
Speaker 1: are half an animal, creepy things that follow you around,
Speaker 1: and a candy bowl. I think that's haunted anyways. So
Speaker 1: I when you say young, how are we talking like
Speaker 1: thirty five young or like thirty five years young? I think,
Speaker 1: what did they say? I think they're around eight years old, okay,
Speaker 1: and they're Yeah, they're loose on the Internet. It's just
Speaker 1: free to roam, free to roam. SCP. Be careful out there.
Speaker 1: It's a while on waking Internet. But yeah, the SEP foundation.
Speaker 1: It's I think it kind of there's a bunch of
Speaker 1: media to like video games and creative videos. I think
Speaker 1: like it's in the same genre as like the slender
Speaker 1: Man stuff, where it's like this spooky Internet stuff that
Speaker 1: is made to seem like found footage or something that
Speaker 1: someone caught in real life. My daughter loves this kind
Speaker 1: of stuff as soon if there's some sort of a
Speaker 1: meta narrative going on of like a cartoon getting corrupted
Speaker 1: by darkness, that's like that's her thing. Yeah, I go
Speaker 1: down the rabbit hole of user generated content for that
Speaker 1: stuff all day. Yeah, it's fun. I do like Haunted SpongeBob,
Speaker 1: where it's like, oh, it's an episode of SpongeBob, but
Speaker 1: it's haunted. M Oh yeah, I'm so out of touch
Speaker 1: with the kids these days that that that just confounds
Speaker 1: and baffles me. Haunted SpongeBob, I don't even have a
Speaker 1: picture of what that might be the idea a lot
Speaker 1: of them. Actually, it helps that SpongeBob has those like
Speaker 1: watercolor paintings that they do sometimes where it's like super
Speaker 1: realistic close up of squid words face and you can
Speaker 1: see all the pores. It's already I think verging on
Speaker 1: nightmare Fuel that show and speaking of nightmare Fuel, under
Speaker 1: the Sea, the first entry in our sep Secure Creature podcast,
Speaker 1: Yeah you did there? Yeah, uh is found in the
Speaker 1: midnight zone, quite literally, the midnight zone in the ocean.
Speaker 1: What do you guys think of when you think of
Speaker 1: the midnight zone? Probably reading ocean books with my daughter,
Speaker 1: it comes up a lot. It's one of her favorites.
Speaker 1: She loves these, uh these types of creatures. I guess
Speaker 1: this is all my point of reference. This is fantastic.
Speaker 1: I do not have a creepy daughter, so uh I
Speaker 1: wish I did. But uh I, I could have a
Speaker 1: creepy I could have several creepy daughters if I wanted to.
Speaker 1: That'd be really good at that. Maybe I got Maybe
Speaker 1: I got a new life goal. It's just to start
Speaker 1: a little, a little weird creepy family. He just bother
Speaker 1: about this diggy and depths. I think of like a
Speaker 1: knockoff twilight Zone, like a twilight Zone that's on like
Speaker 1: the Sci Fi Channel in two thousand and three and
Speaker 1: ran for most of a season. Yeah, welcome midnight Zone,
Speaker 1: Kevin Bacon. You think Carmen Elector in two thousand and three.
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith. Ah, yeah, I feel that really good. What
Speaker 1: if it was the real Jersey the best Guy, but
Speaker 1: instead of being made out of people, we was made
Speaker 1: out of pizza. Huh what a Kevin Smith impression? My god,
Speaker 1: dat What would you do if you were really deep
Speaker 1: in the ocean and all the fish were dark, but
Speaker 1: with a little light bulb on their heads? Hi, I'm
Speaker 1: telling me. Farland The Midnight Zone spooky Music, seven or
Speaker 1: seven entire episodes. Here's what kids love. Todd McFarland's Spawn references. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now that show is a big hit. Haunted, Haunted Spawn.
Speaker 1: The kids love Haunted Spawn, well, the biggest name on
Speaker 1: the Internet. The Midnight Zone is a very real place
Speaker 1: in the ocean, found around a thousand to four thousand
Speaker 1: meters or three thousand, three hundred to thirteen thousand feet
Speaker 1: under the sea. And that's a lot of feet. It's
Speaker 1: so many feet. It is also known as the bathy
Speaker 1: Pleagic Zone. It is an area of the ocean so
Speaker 1: deep that no sunlight can penetrate it. No photosynthesis or
Speaker 1: sun tanning can occur here. It is pitch black, well
Speaker 1: and wet, and it's real. It's somehow, it's wetter than
Speaker 1: the normal ocean down there, Like, it's weird how that happens.
Speaker 1: It's James Cameron keeps an office down there. It's just
Speaker 1: to get away. It's a serious wetness down there. And
Speaker 1: in these depths there lurks something called the stigio Medusa gigantea,
Speaker 1: whose name means giant medusa with the darkness like the
Speaker 1: river of death. So the most god animal, yes, so
Speaker 1: god that when he introduces himself, he's just like, okay
Speaker 1: that let looped back around from scary to like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna bully you a little bit now. Yeah. Yeah. Their
Speaker 1: scientists are like, maybe you should have been a magician.
Speaker 1: I don't can we went a little crazy, buddy. I
Speaker 1: do like the idea of here's what I named the
Speaker 1: jellyfish that dark Yeah, I named mine Todd after myself
Speaker 1: and Todd McFarlane. You're just going off the deep end. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to throw you in the river sticks aka
Speaker 1: the turilet. You're getting us whirly, the most bully jellyfish science. Yes,
Speaker 1: so this is also known as the phantom jellyfish. There's
Speaker 1: no name this jellyfish has that doesn't sound super dramatic.
Speaker 1: And over the top. But if you see it, it
Speaker 1: does look super dramatic and over the top. Yeah, let
Speaker 1: me try to describe this. This looks like, um like
Speaker 1: a little like a little hat or maybe kind of
Speaker 1: a UFO with dryer lint tentacles of dryer land. I
Speaker 1: like that. The try hard goth jellyfish is wearing a
Speaker 1: little fedora. Yeah, that's very appropriate, and a trench coats.
Speaker 1: A fedora with a trench coat coming out of it.
Speaker 1: This is very like mid two thousands try hard high
Speaker 1: school sad boy kind of. Yeah. This is someone else
Speaker 1: first his first day of Fedora. See him they can
Speaker 1: pull it off him? Yeah, like and everyone says no,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like the It's like the vampire cost
Speaker 1: players of the mid two thousands. Excuse me, cos players.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a way of life. I knew. I
Speaker 1: was friends with some of those kids. Well they're phantom
Speaker 1: jellyfish now. So the giant Phantom jellyfish has very shy,
Speaker 1: much like a mid two thousands vampire lifestyle player. They
Speaker 1: have only been sided around one hundred times, which sounds
Speaker 1: like a lot, but for an animal, you know, I
Speaker 1: guess that's not a lot. That's not a lot for
Speaker 1: a whole species. I mean, if it was like one,
Speaker 1: it was like one like like Benson, the Haunt of
Speaker 1: Jellyfish and you've seen him one hundred times. Tired about
Speaker 1: seeing you, Benson. Sorry. So it is thought to be
Speaker 1: found all over the world in the depths of the
Speaker 1: ocean's midnight zone. Uh. It can grow to be over
Speaker 1: thirty feet or ten meters in length. So try given
Speaker 1: that thing a swirlieu and it weighs over ninety pounds
Speaker 1: or forty kilograms, making it one of the largest invertebrate
Speaker 1: predators in the ocean. This thing is a full nightmare. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is. Again, it's got like that little like gelatinous
Speaker 1: fedorac cap kind of looks like a bowler hat made
Speaker 1: out of a gossamer veil, and then all its tentacles
Speaker 1: are these like sort of they look like shredded grim
Speaker 1: reaper robe just kind of floating around there. And because
Speaker 1: they live in the midnight zone, that grim reaper like
Speaker 1: appearance renders them invisible. In these photos we see like
Speaker 1: they kind of you know, there's almost like this little
Speaker 1: bit of like an orange glow inside of the bell
Speaker 1: that fedora hat that bowler cap is called the bell
Speaker 1: of the jellyfish, and that glow is not visible. Normally
Speaker 1: that that glow happens because there's light being shined on
Speaker 1: this thing, but typically it is completely invisible to any
Speaker 1: of the poor inhabitants of the midnight Zone who are
Speaker 1: small enough to be eaten by this thing. They will
Speaker 1: silently drift in this dark watery abyss and grab small
Speaker 1: fish or zooplankton with their veil like tentacles. And unlike
Speaker 1: a lot of other jellyfish, they do not have stinging tentacles,
Speaker 1: so they don't really stun their prey. They just ensnarl them,
Speaker 1: tangle them up in their tentacles, smother them, and then
Speaker 1: eat them. It's hardcore, Benson. Yeah, take it easy, Benson.
Speaker 1: There's like probably no good way to die in the
Speaker 1: midnight Zone. Like if you're being chumped to death by
Speaker 1: a by a bowler hat, you're like, all right, it's
Speaker 1: something like that. Yeah, Yeah, that's that's what to be
Speaker 1: expected of the midnight Zone. I'm Kevin Smith. It's definitely
Speaker 1: not the worst way to die. That will discuss on
Speaker 1: this podcast today. Oh good, Yeah, that's the direction we're going,
Speaker 1: all right, I hope you love it. Max to my
Speaker 1: eight year old listener, here's a terrifying way to die
Speaker 1: in the ocean. They requested it loves it. So though
Speaker 1: they are a silent phantom death stalker of the depths,
Speaker 1: their prey tends to be very small. Uh. These very
Speaker 1: small fish sometimes zooplankton, which means that a larger, more
Speaker 1: daring fish has an opportunity for what for a findship,
Speaker 1: So they really only like to kill you if you scream.
Speaker 1: That's the that's the phantom jellyfish one. So the Pelaso
Speaker 1: Bathia pleagica aka pleagic brochila. Which usually when I have
Speaker 1: like two names for something, one name is at least
Speaker 1: recognizable or less goofy Uh, this one is just like
Speaker 1: this one is either Theelaso Bathio pleagica or pleagic brothula brochila,
Speaker 1: which other whichever you want. Brochilla. See, I thought that
Speaker 1: was a joke name. I thought you're like, he's brochilla.
Speaker 1: He is. He is actually bro chilla, which is funny.
Speaker 1: He is a relatively ugly fish. Uh. It's this dark,
Speaker 1: purply brown. It kind of looks like a an elongated
Speaker 1: plum groove fish parts it's like shaped sort of like yeah,
Speaker 1: it's with eyeballs in a fin. It's shaped like a
Speaker 1: stubby eel. It grows around nine inches or a little
Speaker 1: over twenty two centimeters long. I'm just gonna say it
Speaker 1: for the record. God should be a shame to himself.
Speaker 1: This is where you never expected us to go to
Speaker 1: the midnight zone. This is where he hides all of
Speaker 1: the screw ups. Yeah, you shouldn't go down there. That's
Speaker 1: the first draft folder. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, eh, well
Speaker 1: we'll put these here in the ocean, and it's like,
Speaker 1: don't you love us? Don't you love us? God? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: just go down there. But you can't see us down here.
Speaker 1: All the better to treasure you with my heart's eyes. Oh, Benson,
Speaker 1: you got a lot of character. So it looks like
Speaker 1: the sidewalk after someone like lost an elbow to it,
Speaker 1: Like it just looks like a human elbow smeared across. Yeah,
Speaker 1: with a face with a face, yeah, like or you
Speaker 1: pulled sort of like a giraffe tongue out in stead
Speaker 1: a fish face on it. It's it's like a swimming infection,
Speaker 1: for sure. I've got it. I've got this is a
Speaker 1: golden eye face unwrapped from the polygons. Oh oh God,
Speaker 1: that makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
Speaker 1: So it is thought that the pleagic brochilla is indeed
Speaker 1: a brochilla to the phantom jellyfish. It lives in the
Speaker 1: jellyfish's bell, So that little bowler cap that makes it
Speaker 1: look like a huge nerd uh, this little guy, this
Speaker 1: fish swims in there and removes parasites. Meanwhile, the fish
Speaker 1: gets a free meal and is provided shelter inside of
Speaker 1: the jellyfish's bell. So they are he may be ugly,
Speaker 1: but at least he eats bacteria out of a douchebags hat.
Speaker 1: I live, I live in the grim Reaper's hat. It's
Speaker 1: like this jellyfish is really trying to get a vibe going,
Speaker 1: like I stop the night in the midnight zone and
Speaker 1: me too. Okay, y, I'm gonna need you to get
Speaker 1: back in my hat. Hello, you're about to meet You're
Speaker 1: gonna eat that weird moon caterpillar. Yeah, he kind of,
Speaker 1: he does. His vibes are definitely different from the jellyfish.
Speaker 1: The jellyfish is more goth and this one is a
Speaker 1: little bit more like Cronenberg's mistake. M hm. I would
Speaker 1: watch this children's show though. Yeah, like you put those
Speaker 1: two together. That's an odd couple I could get behind.
Speaker 1: It's Benson and Jerry living in the midnight zone eating
Speaker 1: little fish, going around looking like God's mistakes. Perfect theme
Speaker 1: song for it too, we were We're already most of
Speaker 1: the way there. Let's pitch it. Come get me, Netflix,
Speaker 1: I'm here to write your new children's show. I'm already
Speaker 1: writing the pitch dick. Yeah, doing some illustrations, but goth
Speaker 1: in the scab. Just make sure all of the characters
Speaker 1: look like donated organs that have grown bad faces already done.
Speaker 1: They all look like inserts from SpongeBob. So spiders, how
Speaker 1: you guys feel about spidies? Strongly against, mildly against? Oh
Speaker 1: there we go, let them live if they're in a
Speaker 1: corner or something. Yeah, you just do your thing. Wow, real,
Speaker 1: real sort of benevolent god you are to the spiders.
Speaker 1: I feel like I could be the kind of guy
Speaker 1: that would put a spider outside, but that's just not
Speaker 1: an option in my house. If I hear like a
Speaker 1: random scream, I don't. I don't panic anymore. I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: you found a spider. Yeah. I am the type of
Speaker 1: person to gently pick up a little spider. I actually
Speaker 1: hold it just by one of its little little arms
Speaker 1: and go like, come with me, a little spidy. We're
Speaker 1: going outside, and it just walks next to me and yeah,
Speaker 1: and just like here you go go outside, you are.
Speaker 1: I give a little kiss packed in a tiny brown
Speaker 1: paper bag full of lunch. It's just flyguts. So there
Speaker 1: is a Twitter thread by someone named Adam Roy documenting
Speaker 1: the subreddit aptly named spiders Just spiders the subreddit which
Speaker 1: is a great subreddit. I love it, and Adam Roy
Speaker 1: found this great story on it. Someone from Australia posted
Speaker 1: on the spiders subreddit for help because they kept finding
Speaker 1: piles of dead spiders under the kitchen table. And they're
Speaker 1: from Australia, so they're they're posting in Spiders about piles
Speaker 1: and dead spiders and you're sitting there from Australia. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. And they
Speaker 1: need help. This has to be dire. I mean, their
Speaker 1: whole life is spent just fending off and possibly accidentally
Speaker 1: eating spiders. So if they're like, this is messed up,
Speaker 1: you guys, I need somebody to come help me. And
Speaker 1: then they say, by the way, I'm from Australia, You're like,
Speaker 1: good God, No, yeah, I think in Australia they don't
Speaker 1: always accidentally eat spiders. So yeah, I was trying to
Speaker 1: be generous. I wasn't trying to offend your Australian listeners.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you're a bunch of spider eating freaks. I
Speaker 1: know that. Yeah, I mean I think spiders are nutritious
Speaker 1: and delicious. If I wasn't such good friends with him,
Speaker 1: I'd eat a spider. Why not. The true horror behind
Speaker 1: this podcast, ladies and chill, Like, what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: it chickens only got two legs and spiders got eight
Speaker 1: of them more more more makes a whole family of
Speaker 1: eight happily. Anyways, I'm graduated from taking them out hand
Speaker 1: to hand in hand. Yeah, I'm gonna eat. I don't
Speaker 1: eat spiders. I knit them tiny sweaters. So Katie eat spiders.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen a human mouth filled the spiders? Time?
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith and here in the Midnight Zone, what if
Speaker 1: our teeth was spiders? Makes you think, doesn't it. That's
Speaker 1: that's one, right, that's one. Let's do that one gain. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: this is still the intro. We only got seven episodes,
Speaker 1: just put it in here. Martha was a regular lady,
Speaker 1: but then she wished her teeth was spiders. Turns out
Speaker 1: she didn't like it. It was a bad idea pile
Speaker 1: of dead spiders Australia. But what was weird about it
Speaker 1: was that these are all sorts of different species of spiders.
Speaker 1: If it's like a pile of the same type of spider,
Speaker 1: You're like, ah, got a pile of spiders, okay, But
Speaker 1: it was a pile of assorted spiders, like a like
Speaker 1: a mixed assortment of spiders. Yeah, Like they got together
Speaker 1: and chose to die together. It's very strange. You're like,
Speaker 1: what led to that decision? Spiders? Spider call if you
Speaker 1: took a scoop of spider pot pourri. M yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a really good way to describe this. It's a good
Speaker 1: way to liven up a bathroom. But upon closer investigation,
Speaker 1: it turns out the spider's legs were splayed open. And
Speaker 1: you know how like when you see a dead spider,
Speaker 1: as I do all the time, and I cry about it,
Speaker 1: the legs are curled inwards. It's the classic. It's the
Speaker 1: classic dead spider. Look. Well, the reason that dead spiders
Speaker 1: have curled legs is that their legs are actually powered
Speaker 1: by hydraulic fluid, not by muscles. So they pump this
Speaker 1: like spider fluid through their legs, and the pumping of
Speaker 1: this fluid is actually what makes their legs move around.
Speaker 1: This skinness sound crazy, kat I think you had us
Speaker 1: on the show when we talked about necrotic like hydraulic
Speaker 1: spider leg pumping. That's very possible, I did. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: talk about spider juice a lot. Yeah, this podcast should
Speaker 1: just be called the Spider Juice Podcasts. Spider Juice with
Speaker 1: Katie in the Dough sponsored by Spider Juice. It's real
Speaker 1: spiders now juggy version through anything, Martha. So when spiders die,
Speaker 1: as you may remember from previous shows where I have
Speaker 1: explained this, the fluid pump system stops working and their
Speaker 1: legs relax, which actually means that they curl up, because
Speaker 1: curled up is kind of like the default position when
Speaker 1: this fluid is not being pumped through their legs. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like it's kind of like a party horn
Speaker 1: when air is running through it, it's extended. But when
Speaker 1: the airflow stops, it curls up. But just replace party
Speaker 1: horn with spider legs and air with spider juice, and
Speaker 1: there you go. You got a spider leg. You got
Speaker 1: a party spider horn. That's how you got a party spider.
Speaker 1: And just imagine someone like blowing into a spider and
Speaker 1: all the legs like going, here's what I'm picturing. You're
Speaker 1: lost in a desert island and you're there with like
Speaker 1: all the plane crash survivors, and one of them is
Speaker 1: a child. They're like, it's my birthday, but I don't
Speaker 1: have any party horns. And you like pull up a
Speaker 1: big spider that you found on the island. You're like,
Speaker 1: that's all right, I know how to do this. Katie's
Speaker 1: podcast you can tear off an here's the podcast I
Speaker 1: read just for you eight years old, Max. So, uh,
Speaker 1: what uh? The significance of the fact that these spiders
Speaker 1: were found with their legs splayed open rather than curled up,
Speaker 1: meant that the spiders weren't dead, They're just paralyzed. So
Speaker 1: what do you boys think a pile of paralyzed spiders
Speaker 1: were doing under a kitchen table and go I'm gonna say, uh,
Speaker 1: I know Max is listening, but I'm gonna say hardcore drugs.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say snuggling. Let's go in different directions,
Speaker 1: cattle party. Uh No, hardcore drugs is actually closer to it.
Speaker 1: This was the handiwork of a mud Dauber wasp, which
Speaker 1: the Australian who found this pile of spiders actually did
Speaker 1: confirm because they saw this wasp crawling out of the
Speaker 1: table leg, which is a weird place to put a wasp.
Speaker 1: But you keep your wasp. I keep my wasps well
Speaker 1: organized in the wasp shelf, all right. So mud Daubers
Speaker 1: are very waspy wasps. I mean, they're definite wasps shaped wasp.
Speaker 1: They are yellow and black, usually sometimes they're more brown. Um.
Speaker 1: They're different species, many different species, and they generally have
Speaker 1: these very thin tube like waists. Yeah I got those
Speaker 1: barbering proportions. Yeah ready, Yeah, the just in an Instagram
Speaker 1: filter that makes you look like this wasp. I think
Speaker 1: this wasp has had some work done, no doubt. That
Speaker 1: is definitely a thorax implant. Yeah. The mud Daubers species
Speaker 1: are found all over the world, spreading torture and death
Speaker 1: throughout the lamp happy birthday, little child Max mud daubers.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's his birthday, but I feel
Speaker 1: like it's his birthday. Yeah, if you need a party blower, Max,
Speaker 1: tear off a spider leg and put it in your mouth. Uh,
Speaker 1: don't do that so your parents don't get mad at us.
Speaker 1: So mud mud daubers are named as such because they
Speaker 1: construct nests out of mud. Typically, these are like sort
Speaker 1: of tubes. Some species have really elaborate nests that they
Speaker 1: kind of look like pipe organs. Sometimes they look more lumpy,
Speaker 1: but the general thing is that they construct a tube
Speaker 1: and in each tube they will lay an egg. But
Speaker 1: they want their egg to be well nourished so to
Speaker 1: provide food for their babies. This is where the pile
Speaker 1: of paralyzed spiders comes in. Niche the killed a wasp,
Speaker 1: No no hesitation, just flattened right there. Yeah. No, I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't hold. I don't like gently escort a wasp
Speaker 1: out of my house. That is, I mean, I'm so scared,
Speaker 1: got no respect, got no respect for a wasp. No
Speaker 1: wasps scare me because they can sting you and it hurts.
Speaker 1: And also they just they do a lot of messed
Speaker 1: up stuff. They got some war crimes going on, Like,
Speaker 1: you don't need to do this as a wasp. You
Speaker 1: could just kill them and then keep them around. But
Speaker 1: the paralyzing them and then just leaving them there, that's
Speaker 1: a wasp move. There's technically a reason for this serial
Speaker 1: killer like move, wasp apologist. Look, I may be just
Speaker 1: a city lawyer here, but I say this wasp had
Speaker 1: good reason to paralyze it's victims and leave it as
Speaker 1: food for its young Um I did it for my kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: every evil person says that wasp. So the wasp herself
Speaker 1: cannot eat the spider. She actually just daintily SIPs the
Speaker 1: nectar of flowers. But she will paralyze these spiders and
Speaker 1: then take them to her nest. So she will deposit
Speaker 1: these dead spiders into one of her nest tubes, lay
Speaker 1: an egg on top of them, seal it up with
Speaker 1: another bit of mud, and just leave. It's probably whistling
Speaker 1: to herself going off to sip some more nectar, like
Speaker 1: she's a fairy princess. But yeah, she has a pile
Speaker 1: of bodies in a tube and they're still alive. Yes,
Speaker 1: where do you keep your bodies? And a shelf labeled
Speaker 1: bodies next to the I am very organized. I really
Speaker 1: marry condo my whole death celler. So both answers are
Speaker 1: loose table leg for me or heat my wasps and
Speaker 1: all my bodies. It's such a good delivery system. Here
Speaker 1: is where the torture element comes into, Like it is
Speaker 1: actually very important for her to leave these spiders alive,
Speaker 1: just immobilized, because if they're dead spiders, they go bad
Speaker 1: and they need to be fresh. So when the egg
Speaker 1: hatches and starts to mature over the winter, the larva
Speaker 1: can slowly eat the spiders while they are fresh and
Speaker 1: juicy and delicious. I'm still not on board just invent
Speaker 1: preservatives or paralyzed spider. I think there's a frog that
Speaker 1: like is a fridge. Just like talk to that guy.
Speaker 1: You're thinking of the wood frog, which can be frozen
Speaker 1: and then come back to life. So you go, he's
Speaker 1: half he's halfway to a fridge instead of thousands of
Speaker 1: years of evolving into a monster. He does have an
Speaker 1: frize in his blood. Yeah, that guy's got it going on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so even better. The mud Dauber wasps like to kill,
Speaker 1: specifically some of the cutest spiders in my opinion, like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, it's messed up. You don't
Speaker 1: have to do that. So they like to kill jumping spiders,
Speaker 1: which they're my favorite spider. I love jumping spiders. They
Speaker 1: only cute spiders. Really, they have adorable little faces. They're
Speaker 1: like the puppies of the spider world. Often really colorful
Speaker 1: and amazing. They also like to kill orb weavers, who
Speaker 1: they're not. They don't have like the cute faces of
Speaker 1: jumping spiders, but they can be really pretty. They can
Speaker 1: come in beautiful colors kind of almost look like sort
Speaker 1: of these like floral I don't know, they just they're
Speaker 1: like the fairies of the spider world. They're they're they're beautiful.
Speaker 1: But they kill those and they cram like a dozen
Speaker 1: of them into the nest tube. All these spiders are paralyzed,
Speaker 1: not dead. They lay their egg and then the egg
Speaker 1: will hatch into a larva that will just comfortably eat
Speaker 1: its way through these still alive spiders. Sez eat it.
Speaker 1: Wasp Yeah, suck. And the thing is mud Daubers have
Speaker 1: not only killed spiders, but airplanes full of people. Oh see,
Speaker 1: I told you that I know a monster when I
Speaker 1: spot one. Yeah, what how did the store they stored
Speaker 1: the whole day airplanes full of people in the middle tubes?
Speaker 1: What was Samuel Jackson during all of this? He was
Speaker 1: way too focused on the snakes. Snakes aren't like snakes,
Speaker 1: I think, are not. They're not as devious as wasps.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get these mother father wasps off this Monday
Speaker 1: to Friday plane. So uh, Max, you might not want
Speaker 1: to listen to this deck bit um. Anyways, In nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety six, a seven fifty seven Virgin Air flight three
Speaker 1: oh one crashed into the Atlantic while flying from the
Speaker 1: Dominican Republic. Crash investigators pinned the blame on a black
Speaker 1: and yellow mud dauber, who likely built a nest in
Speaker 1: one of the important external flight instruments, messing up the
Speaker 1: air speed readings. I mean, apparently it was also like
Speaker 1: pilot air because the pilot really should have known better,
Speaker 1: like plane crashes are so rare, or usually like a
Speaker 1: bunch of things have to go wrong at the same time.
Speaker 1: It has to be like this weird coincidence of like
Speaker 1: the pilot's not doing a good job, but also there's
Speaker 1: some problem with the instruments or you have a freaking
Speaker 1: wasp build its nest inside one of the instruments and
Speaker 1: nobody notices it. Apparently the plane was also not stored properly,
Speaker 1: so it's a big problem. But yeah, the plane would
Speaker 1: not have crashed if it wasn't for this wasp. It
Speaker 1: was good news to me that, like they died in
Speaker 1: the crash and weren't like individually paralyzed by wasps and
Speaker 1: then had eggs hatch into their still living bodies. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say because they died in a crash, but I'm
Speaker 1: saying like what I was picturing as you started the story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in twenty fifteen, there was a near crash and plane
Speaker 1: damage with no fatalities on a Gulf Stream G five
Speaker 1: because an outflow valve got blocked with mud dauber nest material,
Speaker 1: so they tried to do it again. I've got to
Speaker 1: become the Alex Jones of Lost Pint. Just you see, people,
Speaker 1: it's everywhere. You're not paying attention. The wasps are in
Speaker 1: the planes. I mean, mainstream media, you can look it up.
Speaker 1: The wasps are trying to kill us. That's a really
Speaker 1: good Alex Jones. I can, like I can hear the
Speaker 1: blood fressels breaking in your eyeballs, which is a bit touch.
Speaker 1: So I think that, like, the thing is humanity. You know,
Speaker 1: we're all busy fighting each other when we should be
Speaker 1: busy fighting the wasps. M let's get them. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: we everybody listening to this go find a wasps nest
Speaker 1: and fight it, right, Yes, but don't do that otherwise, Max,
Speaker 1: don't don't do that, Max. Max's parents are gonna be
Speaker 1: furious with me. After it's your birthday. You're exempted from
Speaker 1: the wasp wars. Think of the lives who would save Max. So, Fellers,
Speaker 1: I have a photo for you. It's a picture of
Speaker 1: something lying in someone's blue gloved hand. Can you describe
Speaker 1: it to me? It is sort of Lovecraft's fly fishing hook.
Speaker 1: M agree to that? Yeah? I like that. It's like
Speaker 1: it kind of looks like a piece of weird kelp. Right,
Speaker 1: it's got sort of a kelpie kelpie look, and it's God.
Speaker 1: It looks like another of God's mistakes. Let's just say, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't trust my holes around this thing. This thing
Speaker 1: seems like something that does stuff to holes. YEA, yeah,
Speaker 1: that is Actually your intuition about protecting your holes is
Speaker 1: very very on point here. So what we were looking at.
Speaker 1: Is god? It really? Okay? So where do I start?
Speaker 1: Do I start with a weird broccoli looking stuff or
Speaker 1: the bulb broccoli? Weird broccoli, maybe the probi tendril? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So there's imagine a bulb and it kind of looks
Speaker 1: like a kelp bulb. But then there's like a stem
Speaker 1: that comes off of it, and off of that stem
Speaker 1: is like a hammerhead. Now let's go back to the bulb.
Speaker 1: On the other end of the bulb, it looks like
Speaker 1: a bunch of broccoli or weird cauliflower growing off of it.
Speaker 1: And this is all sort of a brownish greenish color,
Speaker 1: kind of like kelp uh. And then underneath the broccoli
Speaker 1: stuff is a tail that's just like a tube. This
Speaker 1: looks like a ship. Brockway would fly in Destiny Too.
Speaker 1: That's a Destiny drip slam Maxill love that one. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: accessible accessible, that's why you bring us on? Is this accessible?
Speaker 1: Universal humor? Based on my esthetic choices in Destiny Too?
Speaker 1: So big ups to marine biologist doctor Jimmy Burnout on Twitter,
Speaker 1: who provided a studying picture of this thing. There is
Speaker 1: surprisingly scant info on this, Like there are some papers
Speaker 1: on it. But as far as I can tell, there's
Speaker 1: not like a lot of popular info about it. There's
Speaker 1: not like a ton of sort of easily readable information
Speaker 1: on it. Uh. Yeah, you don't get into biology to
Speaker 1: study this. Yeah, it's not. It's not a real popular
Speaker 1: miss mash of biological atrocities. People just you know, it's
Speaker 1: not really a trendsetter. Yeah it is. Uh. It is
Speaker 1: a copa pod. So this is the giant copa pod
Speaker 1: Cephreon levi atum. That doesn't sound like I said it right,
Speaker 1: but sippypop, Yeah, it legatum, tie burrow, wind to your colon.
Speaker 1: It's a copa pod. It's found in the South Atlantic Ocean. U.
Speaker 1: The giant copa pod is actually a crustacean, which is weird. Uh,
Speaker 1: And it's weird. It's related to other copa pods, So
Speaker 1: copa pods. There's a big group of stuff of these
Speaker 1: little crustaceans called copa pods, and copa pods tint to
Speaker 1: be very small. Often they're like they can be like
Speaker 1: planktonically small. But the giant copa pod is an exception.
Speaker 1: It fits comfortably in the palm of your hand or
Speaker 1: uncomfortably embedded inside of you if you're a fish. I
Speaker 1: knew that was coming this jee you can just spot
Speaker 1: a whole dweller mile away. Yeah, so we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about the cusk eel. You guys want to talk
Speaker 1: about the cusk eel cuskeel cusk eel, I'm in so.
Speaker 1: Uh the cuskeel is a family of eel like bony fish.
Speaker 1: They uh, there are various species of cusk eel. One
Speaker 1: is called the king clip. I think there's like a
Speaker 1: pink cusk eel. Um. You know they're it's a fish
Speaker 1: and they are unfortunate to be the targets of the
Speaker 1: giant copa pod who likes to burrow themselves into the
Speaker 1: cusk eel's chin. Yeah, and so their chin. I wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting that the devil's goatee got a little broccoli soul patch.
Speaker 1: Everyone's making funnier like I didn't choose it. Yeah, part
Speaker 1: which part dangles out of the eel, the the broccoli part,
Speaker 1: the hammer head part is embedded inside of the cuskeel. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So they bury that hammer head portion of their body,
Speaker 1: uh like under the cuskel's mouth into the flesh and
Speaker 1: they have a tiny mouth on that hammerhead portion and
Speaker 1: then suck the juices. Oh, I thought they were going
Speaker 1: to take like little tiny bites of everything it eats,
Speaker 1: like just taking a fry off of their plate every time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll take one of those. Just imagining this thing like
Speaker 1: flopping around, like trying to get the fry into some
Speaker 1: ketchup and be like you. I maybe all that. I
Speaker 1: may be a shame on the eyes of the creator,
Speaker 1: but I do like ketchup on my fries. Say that
Speaker 1: you're my best friend, copa pot You'll never kill me.
Speaker 1: I'd like, just give me the large fry because my
Speaker 1: soul patch, I know, my soul patch is gonna have
Speaker 1: a few it says. It's not now it sucks juices
Speaker 1: out of the fish as far as I can tell, honestly.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, if you are a giant copa pod
Speaker 1: expert out there and I got something wrong, please let
Speaker 1: me know. I want to talk to you, because I
Speaker 1: have been able to find very little information about this thing.
Speaker 1: I would very much not like to talk to a
Speaker 1: giant Coupa pod expert. You've made a lot of bad choices,
Speaker 1: Giant couple pod expert. I'm gonna end up on someone
Speaker 1: else's body shelf. Yeah, you're something that something's going to
Speaker 1: burrow into you. They'll have something that will burrow into you.
Speaker 1: You're not and out of that conversation without a second
Speaker 1: being yet. I think I probably on probably on purpose,
Speaker 1: but he might just have a couple of him that
Speaker 1: he'd forgotten his pockets. Yeah, are going to get left behind.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've priority got a few buddies living inside me,
Speaker 1: so you know more than merrill. Well, I mean, if
Speaker 1: you want to rock a soul patch, it's fine. So yeah,
Speaker 1: they you know, basically attached themselves under the chin. And
Speaker 1: I bet you're wondering what that broccoli looking thing is. God,
Speaker 1: that's sex organs it is. I have no idea what
Speaker 1: it is. Apparently no one else does either. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the beneficiary soulbit. It's like every every one of
Speaker 1: these relationships is give take, there has to be a benefit,
Speaker 1: and it's the soul patch. Like you can't if you're
Speaker 1: a fish, you cannot grow the soul patch short of this.
Speaker 1: So yeah, if you want one, and you really do
Speaker 1: want one, yeah, there's a price. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1: It's a usually beneficial symbiosis. I think it's what you
Speaker 1: call that in the Midnight Zone. I guess, I mean
Speaker 1: you would call it that. I guess if soul patches
Speaker 1: were something that the Kuski all wanted. Kevin Smith, you
Speaker 1: like my soul patch, doesn't like you, welcome to the
Speaker 1: Midnight Zone. What if everyone's soul patches had a soul Wow?
Speaker 1: That might be Okay, that's definitely one. That's episode seven.
Speaker 1: We're going out on that. So now, I do you
Speaker 1: want to talk to the jant cob Bought experts. You
Speaker 1: guys couldn't figure out the broccoli. I mean maybe someone has.
Speaker 1: I could like, it could got four chunks on it.
Speaker 1: You can't figure out twenty five of the chunks. It
Speaker 1: could be something that someone's figured out but I couldn't find.
Speaker 1: So if you know what the pod broccoli is all about,
Speaker 1: let me know. I would guess that what you searched
Speaker 1: for broccoli? What is PCO broccoli? Um? I would guess
Speaker 1: it's something to do with gosh, probably gas exchange or
Speaker 1: aeration of some kind, just because I'm thinking it's a
Speaker 1: weird surface area. Stuff like this, like branching. Weirdness of
Speaker 1: the surface area makes me think something to do with
Speaker 1: aeration or change. Yeah, it's probably how it goes up
Speaker 1: and down. Maybe yeah, maybe maybe how it's like has
Speaker 1: helps with its respiration or helps aerate its eggs. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe it's broccoli. It's just broccoli getting their
Speaker 1: house for my lunch. It could just be a real,
Speaker 1: a real sloppy as a species up. I would love that.
Speaker 1: I would love that the person who preserved the specimen
Speaker 1: dropped a piece of broccoli from their stir fry into
Speaker 1: the jar. It's like, well, well, yeah, yeah, I'm the
Speaker 1: only one who took this course. And now they just
Speaker 1: they're stuck in a lie because the thing is so
Speaker 1: rare that they're just like, nah, yeah, no, that's part
Speaker 1: of it. That's part of the creature. Yeah, what does
Speaker 1: it do? We don't science. Science doesn't know. Well, you
Speaker 1: found one without broccoli. That's a totally new kind. I
Speaker 1: wonder if anyone's ever tasted it. Without question, the freak
Speaker 1: who majored in copa pot Yeah, that's what biologists used
Speaker 1: to do. They used to taste the animals they would study,
Speaker 1: Like Darwin definitely ate a turtle from the Gallapagos, a tortoise, sorry,
Speaker 1: probably heat and I wanted or two too. You know,
Speaker 1: they ain't got him every single kind of finch, all
Speaker 1: those barnacles. He was obsessed with barnacles. The finches start
Speaker 1: of all ving beaks to peck at Darwin because it's like,
Speaker 1: Ohwin measures. This is a very interesting form of evolution,
Speaker 1: Anti Darwin beaks. Because I keep eating these birds, the
Speaker 1: whole island just evolves. So in an eternal war with Darwin,
Speaker 1: it's the Anti Darwin Island has a plague? Can we
Speaker 1: pitch this show instead of that when we were talking
Speaker 1: about earlier? I feel like it's a good spin off.
Speaker 1: Benson and Jerry go to Galapagos together and fight Charles Darwin.
Speaker 1: I'm Kevin Smith. Welcome to Anti Darwin Island. It's like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I don't know. I'm not even going to
Speaker 1: bring up that show that's island based because Max might
Speaker 1: be listening. But it's bad. There's like a man, yeah really, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the one I'm talking about. It's so it's so bad,
Speaker 1: I'm going to bleep it out because I don't I know.
Speaker 1: Max has like unrestricted access to the Internet and I
Speaker 1: don't want them finding it and spend and chooses to
Speaker 1: spend that time immersed in horrors and still yes, still
Speaker 1: there's something too horrible, much too horrible. Um, well, so
Speaker 1: we did it. We I feel like these animals could
Speaker 1: definitely have an SCP entry. They are horrifying and they
Speaker 1: don't seem real. They kind of seem made up. But
Speaker 1: that's just what the government wants you to think, so
Speaker 1: that you know, when the war against humans from the
Speaker 1: wasps comes, they can step in and be the heroes.
Speaker 1: That's my conspiracy theory. I would punch up the COPA
Speaker 1: pod entry a little bit if I was if I
Speaker 1: was doing SEP editing, I'd be like something, Yeah, it
Speaker 1: needs a creature redesign. But I like the concept of
Speaker 1: digging into someone's head and forming a goatee, Like I
Speaker 1: feel like that's the start of something pretty. I think
Speaker 1: I would at least say the broccoli is poison yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: or our second organism living on it, maybe like a
Speaker 1: like a another element of conflict. Yeah. I probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: just land on Oh what do you think? It is?
Speaker 1: So much of science is that though? Just like I
Speaker 1: don't know, what do you think? Yeah? Well, before we go,
Speaker 1: I would like to play a little game with you guys. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's fun and let's do it. It's a man I refuse,
Speaker 1: I refuse, Katie. It is called the Mystery Animal Sound
Speaker 1: game Guess Who's squawking? Every week I play a mister
Speaker 1: animal sound and you the listener, and you the guest,
Speaker 1: try to guess who's squawking. It could be any animal
Speaker 1: in the world, anyone. This is the fartiest floor of
Speaker 1: the giant couple. How'd you guess? God? Now I have
Speaker 1: to get a different one. Han, okay, all right, all right,
Speaker 1: I gotta gotten goe. So this was last week's mystery
Speaker 1: animal sound. This was the hint. It's not a cool,
Speaker 1: refreshing Italian treat, but a lip smacking animal. Nonetheless, you
Speaker 1: share my not an Italian treat, Galan, No, you haven't
Speaker 1: even listened to the sound. How would you know? That
Speaker 1: is filthy? How dare you? Here's another one? Hello, m
Speaker 1: Well whoever her husband is doing something right? Oh? I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is, but I feel like I
Speaker 1: shouldn't be listening to it. Well. Congratulations to Aunt b,
Speaker 1: Joey p and Ariel who all guess correctly that this
Speaker 1: is the gelata, not gelato or gelato, but the gelata.
Speaker 1: What is that. What does it look like? What is
Speaker 1: gelata is? It's abruptoli with a with a tear goat.
Speaker 1: It's a goat that likes to party almost. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like a baboon. Okay, okay. So it is a
Speaker 1: species of Old world monkey that live in the Ethiopian highlands,
Speaker 1: and they look a lot like baboons, but they are
Speaker 1: just a close relative. They are very complex socially. They
Speaker 1: have like very like hierarchical societies, a lot of complex
Speaker 1: social interactions, and they can also smack and move their
Speaker 1: lips to manipulate sounds in a way that is extremely
Speaker 1: similar to human speech, more so than any other primate.
Speaker 1: Congratulations gelatas. Yeah, they can make fun of us really effectively.
Speaker 1: I'm a human man, that's you. I've got marital problem
Speaker 1: because I'm a human. Oh, by the force, I don't
Speaker 1: even have flared up anal glands. Got us monkey, I
Speaker 1: have a concept of the future. It makes me sad. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's funny, because it's true. I like to ride my bicycle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're constantly making fun of us, but yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: it is uncanny when you hear them like that clip
Speaker 1: I just had you listened to it sounds like a
Speaker 1: person just kind of going like, okay, yeah, it's kind
Speaker 1: of offensive. We really got our numbers, really hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: Well onto this week's mystery animal sound. The hint is
Speaker 1: there a frog in your mouth? Or are you just
Speaker 1: happy to see me? Hang on? The sound hasn't played,
Speaker 1: so you can't you can't guess. Okay, it sounds like
Speaker 1: a Miss Piggy choke. I'm gonna I'm gonna guess Miss Piggy.
Speaker 1: Oh man again, I'm really sorry to Max's parents. I
Speaker 1: feel like he's gonna know what a muppet is. Eight. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's a spider party horn. All the legs make different tones.
Speaker 1: That's fun harmonica. Yeah, that's how a spider complaint while
Speaker 1: it's being paralyzed. Dauber any other guesses? You guys, are
Speaker 1: you gonna go with spider party horn? Malaysian mouth frog? Wow?
Speaker 1: Close but no, get it? No? Close but no. It's
Speaker 1: probably the same baboon from earlier, Just like messing with us.
Speaker 1: It's actually the sound of the broccoli being stepped on.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's a giant coupa pod broccoli being squashed
Speaker 1: by a clumsy coupa pod scientist. The actual answer that's
Speaker 1: not broccoli, or is it. I'll keep you in suspense.
Speaker 1: It'll be released next week with next creature feature. Wow,
Speaker 1: I can speak good human sentence. I'm not a gelt
Speaker 1: of blah. Thank you for having us, Katie, I'm a
Speaker 1: human bro Look at me. I'm on a podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: converting mcvin Smith. Mamma bo, I'm converting. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: guys for joining me today. Where can people find you? Rockwall,
Speaker 1: you do the plug. You can find us at You
Speaker 1: can find us at one nine hundred hotdog dot com.
Speaker 1: We are the final home of text based comedy on
Speaker 1: the Internet. That's right, We're still doing that and I
Speaker 1: guess you can't stop us because everything in the world
Speaker 1: has tried. You can also find us on our own podcast,
Speaker 1: The Dog Zone nine thousand two g's two z's, three
Speaker 1: zeros and it's the best title in the world and
Speaker 1: we'll never take any feedback on it. Perfect plug. Nice.
Speaker 1: I think I know what would stop you some mud,
Speaker 1: dauber wasps and a plane. Wow. That's so dark, such
Speaker 1: a dark sign off. Well, thank you guys so much
Speaker 1: for listening. Again. I apologize to Max's parents. He did
Speaker 1: request this episode and wrote it for me, so all
Speaker 1: the all the scary things in it where his fault
Speaker 1: blame him and under the bus. Thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for listening. If you're enjoying the show and you
Speaker 1: leave a rating and review, that's great. I print them
Speaker 1: all out. I turn it into a giant keeper mache
Speaker 1: effigy of what I like to call a statue of
Speaker 1: the listener, and it's kind of human shaped, and you know,
Speaker 1: I keep it in my house. Normal stuff. And thank
Speaker 1: you to the Space Cossacks where they're a super awesome song.
Speaker 1: Exlumina Creature features a productive iHeartRadio. For more podcasts like
Speaker 1: the one you just heard, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcast,
Speaker 1: or Hey Guess what? Or have you listened to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows? See you next Wednesday. Every Birthday, Max Spider Party,
Speaker 1: Horn