1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode thirty three. We have 11 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: a great interview today with an emergency physician. We're looking 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: forward to that. But thinking about that, that made us 13 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: recall our various visits to the emergency room, of which 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 1: Sarah and I have both made multiple trips. You all 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: for one kid, though, right, Yes, we have never had 16 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: to go for Annabelle, and Cameron has been three times. 17 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: I don't know how that happened, but maybe just actually 18 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: I do so. Yeah, I'm a physician. So the truth 19 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: is my bar for going to the er is pretty 20 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: My husband thinks it's not that high, but I think 21 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: it's fairly high. So we'll argue about it. So his 22 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 1: must be even higher. But there were a couple of breathing, 23 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: like not breathing kind of episodes with croup where I 24 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: knew we needed injectable steroids and with asthma were I 25 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: just looked at him and was thinking, most of my 26 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: patients in residency looked better than this when they were 27 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: in patients, So what are we doing home? So those 28 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: were the two respiratory ones, and then the third time. 29 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: Here's a lesson for everyone. If you're a doctor and 30 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 1: your kid gets some kind of injury, don't ask the 31 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,559 Speaker 1: specialist who deals with the worst things in that area. 32 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: So here's my example. He bumped his head. Actually, my 33 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: daughter accidentally at age you know, three, swung something around 34 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: wooden and it bashed him in his head and it bruised. 35 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: It was kind of gigantic goose egg on his head. 36 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: My husband's like, you know, their heads are made for this. 37 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: They're fine. But I happened to be at a meeting 38 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: and our nanny texted a picture of it. It looked awful, 39 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: and sitting next to me was a pediatric neurologist. Now, 40 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: the pediatric neurologist doesn't see most kids who hit their head. 41 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: All they see is the kids who hit their head 42 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: that had something bad neurologically go wrong. So I was told, 43 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: oh my god, that could be a you know, get 44 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: him to the er right now. You don't know, there 45 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: could be a bleed. So I brought him in and 46 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: actually he almost got a CT scan before my husband 47 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: and I were like, wait a second, this happened hours ago. 48 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: He's completely fine. I wouldn't be in this froth if 49 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: I hadn't, you know, I had such easy access to 50 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,959 Speaker 1: that specialist, and I guess, to make a long story short, 51 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: I'm very glad we did not scan him. So, yeah, 52 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: that was number three. Specialists to be dangerous. Yeah, specialists 53 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: to date, specialists are fantastic. I am one, but you 54 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: have to it's probably there's a reason that you typically 55 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: go through your PCP and don't just ask them in 56 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: a conference room what they think about the Yeah, no, 57 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: I've we have a pretty high bar for emergency room 58 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: visits too, and when we have a great like urgent 59 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 1: care place that can deal with minor stuff, that we 60 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: attempt to go to if we can, and we also 61 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: call my husband. Michael's brother is a pediatrician who mostly 62 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: had worked in hospitals, so he was always telling us, 63 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: you know, yes that's a problem, or no, that's not 64 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: a problem. And I would say most of it is 65 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: not a problem, you know, even stuff that was like 66 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 1: very scary when the kids were little, like we had, 67 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: you know, one of my kids couldn't keep anything down 68 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 1: for a while, and he's basically like, okay, give him 69 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: a quarter ounce of fluids every fifteen minutes until he 70 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: keeps it down, you know, keep and then you know, 71 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, we didn't go in and he 72 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: was fine, so it was good. We have, in facto, 73 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: been to the er for all four children. The eldest 74 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: we went we were on vacation in Carmel, California, and 75 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: he swallowed a coin and it was one of those 76 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: things that probably we didn't need to go and if 77 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: we hadn't seen it, like we wouldn't have gone it, 78 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: but we had seen it, and then we're like, uh, oh, 79 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: is it going to be stuck? And so we went 80 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: in they did, you know, do the image and it 81 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: was in his looked up at the top. So we're like, oh, 82 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: what's gonna happen? So we just waited a while and 83 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: you know, then took you know, new pictures a few 84 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: hours later and had gone down. So we realized, okay, 85 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: it's just gonna come out the other end. That's no. 86 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: But that's did you talk to your brother about that? Like, 87 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: I see the one that was like, because that's the problem. 88 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: If it gets stuck in the estopagus, then you can 89 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: start eroding and then you have problems. Then you you 90 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: did the right thing. We did the right thing. But yes, 91 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 1: that was a fun little detour on our vacation. We 92 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: went for the next oldest kid. It was a little 93 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: bit more of a daredevil. We were at the zoo 94 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: and he, for whatever reason, elected to do like a 95 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: loop de loop on the railing of the goat cage, 96 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: slammed his head into the concrete block on the bottom. 97 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: It was like, you know, bleeding profusely because of course, 98 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: had wounds do and you know, brought my husband brought 99 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: him to the er, had a couple of staples put 100 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: in his head. But you know, I was just thinking 101 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: of that, like we I don't know how many of 102 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: our listeners were following the whole saga of the kid 103 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: who fell into the gorilla cage was too a goo. 104 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 1: I was just thinking, like people are trying to say, oh, 105 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: the parents should have controlled it. You can't, Like, you can't. 106 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: The zoos have to design their exhibits to like keep 107 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,919 Speaker 1: the kids out of them, and we were very cantinate 108 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: they should be fool proof to Yeah, we were very 109 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 1: fortunate that he elected to do this on a goat 110 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: cage as opposed to I don't know a gorilla cage. 111 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: So anyway, we'll put that out there. My daughter fell 112 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: out of bed, she got stitches on her chin. The 113 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: youngest went to for he had RSV once and I 114 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 1: probably wouldn't have brought him in except you know, I 115 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: was in the I brought him into a doctor. The 116 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: pediatrician was like, well, his oxygen's really low. We called 117 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 1: my you know, brother in law. He's like, yeah, if 118 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: it's low, you got to bring him in. So went in. 119 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: They suctioned him all out and his oxygen popped her 120 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,359 Speaker 1: back up, so all good. And then another was this 121 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: huge like contusion on his forehead because he has no 122 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 1: sense of balance or you know, sense at all, and 123 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: so he jumps off things. And that will continue to happen, 124 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure we'll be back for him. But yeah, it's 125 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: it's never fun, just like or for four. You know, 126 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 1: there you are sitting there, I mean, you're you're it's 127 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: horrible to be in there. Of course, all of this 128 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 1: has been relatively minor, and I've been in when like 129 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, everyone has disappeared because some other 130 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: child has come in with something completely life threatening and 131 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: you're just sitting there being like, I hate being here, 132 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to be here. I'm also but you're like, 133 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: I'm so I'm not that person in the room next door. 134 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: So that yeah. So we'll be talking with our emergency 135 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: physician about how how it works from that end of 136 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: the people who are there when you get to the er, 137 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: and then how she manages the rest of her life too. 138 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: We are excited to welcome to the program Swathi Singh, 139 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 1: who is a physician, and it's going to tell us 140 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: a little bit about herself, including how I just mispronounced 141 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: her name, So take it away please. It's a great 142 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: and the effort is for effort because to the time 143 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:04,160 Speaker 1: people just don't try. So that's great. I really appreciate it. 144 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: But Swati is totally correct, and I am an emergency physician. 145 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: I live right outside of Washington, d C in Bethesda, Maryland, 146 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: and work in a kind of urban emergency department outside 147 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: of southeast d C. I'm not sure how much you 148 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: want to know about me. I can share a lot 149 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: or a little. We'll tell us about your family then 150 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, so I have two kids. My son 151 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: Vir is seven, he'll be eight in March, and my 152 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: daughter Leela is four and she'll be five in April. 153 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: I have a husband. His name is mun breath Annand 154 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: and this year, part of our family is our pair 155 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: Leslie Assevedo, and that has I know, you guys talk 156 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: a lot about scheduling and logistics, and having an a 157 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: pair for the last she's our fourth o pair has 158 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: really made things a lot easier for us since we 159 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: don't have very much family in town. I have a 160 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: I have a brother who's also a physician. He's a 161 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: dermatologist in the DC area, but he is single and 162 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: doesn't really know a lot about childcare. He does his 163 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: best when I need him to help him, but need 164 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: him to help me. But I don't have you know, 165 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: a mom or grandparents around that can help out when 166 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: we have childcare issues, and my husband and I both 167 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: have really demanding careers and relatively intense work schedules at times, 168 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 1: and so you know, scheduling and logistics can become really 169 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: difficult for us. What line of work is your husband? Then? Sorry, 170 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: I did no, I don't think I mentioned it. So 171 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: he he is kind of in he's I know, he's 172 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 1: going to listen to this podcast and laugh while I 173 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: try to explain his job. He's an expert in South 174 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: Asia and Central Asia for foreign policy. So he during 175 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,319 Speaker 1: the Obama administration was the was a Deputy Assistant Secretary 176 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: for South and Central Asia, and before that had worked 177 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: at USAID and now he works at the National Defense University, 178 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: and so he's sort of a foreign policy expert in 179 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: those regions. So he travels often for work, and I 180 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: have overnight shifts, weekend shifts, you know, swing shifts that 181 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: end at two or three in the morning. And when 182 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: he's traveling and I'm working those shifts, it is really hard. Yeah, 183 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: So what sort of shifts do you wind up doing? Then? 184 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: I guess people don't necessarily know how because it's physician work. 185 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: But it's shift work, right, like it's you're assigned to 186 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: certain shifts, and I got to say, I'm super interested 187 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: in your secrets of how that makes it, how you 188 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: make that work for your body, because it may just 189 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: be sort of ingrained or biologic, but I cannot, which 190 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: is why I don't do what you do. But tell us, 191 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 1: tell us your secrets and what you're yeah, what your 192 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: scheduling is like. So the scheduling is a little nutty. 193 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: I mean when people hear my schedule, they are like, 194 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: I would never do what you do. They generally try 195 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: to schedule us all em physicians. The I guess the 196 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: trend would be to try to cycle through your shifts. 197 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: So you know, one week in the month, you'd be 198 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: doing daytime shifts seven to four, seven to five, seven 199 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,479 Speaker 1: to three. And I work in three different emergency departments, 200 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: and so the shift lengths vary, but the am shift 201 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: is something from seven to three or seven to five, 202 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: and then the next week they'll move us. They'll shift 203 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: us down a little bit, so I may do ten 204 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: to six or nine to eight or eleven to nine, 205 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: eleven am to nine pm, and then the week after 206 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: that they'll do you know, evening shifts, so four pm 207 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: to one am, five pm to two am, five pm 208 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: to three am, those sort of things, and then after 209 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: that they'll do overnights and the over nights can be 210 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 1: nine to seven, ten to seven, or eleven pm to 211 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: seven am. And you know, as an em physician, you 212 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: can't pick and choose what you work. You're part of 213 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: a team that supports an emergency department. The emergency department 214 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: is open twenty four hours a day for any patient 215 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 1: whoever needs you. So we always have to staff the department, 216 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: and so I work all of those shifts. We also 217 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 1: work weekends, and generally they try to you know, preserve 218 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: our weekends. So just kind of schedule us for you know, 219 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: two to four weekend shifts, but all like together, so 220 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 1: they're not spread out all through the month. And as 221 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: far as tricks for my sleeping, I mean, I'm pretty 222 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 1: tired all the time, so I feel like I do 223 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: I can sleep, and I generally don't do morning duties 224 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 1: for my kids, because the predominant number of shifts I 225 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,719 Speaker 1: work are later, just because if you look at the 226 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 1: way the day is split, there's a finite number of 227 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: seven to four shifts. There's more shifts that occur midday 228 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 1: to like later early or ending in the early am 229 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: morning hours or you know, at seven am, and so 230 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: I generally am like awake late at night and sleep 231 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,679 Speaker 1: in in the morning, so my husband or my o 232 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: pair will take care of the morning duties generally speaking. 233 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: And on the days that I have to if I 234 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 1: have to work an overnight, for example, I try to 235 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: go for a really long run and be tired, like 236 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 1: really use my body that day so that I can 237 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: take a nap before I go into work. And there's 238 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: a lot of working moms with kids in emergency medicine, 239 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: I mean the shift work really appeals to them because 240 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,560 Speaker 1: you don't have to work every day and you can 241 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: be available for your children for some part of every day. 242 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 1: And so because there's a lot of working moms in 243 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: our group, we've started split or overnight shifts. This was 244 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,319 Speaker 1: a suggestion I came up with because you know, as 245 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: I've gotten older, it has been harder to work overnights 246 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: and be available to your kids during the day, and 247 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: so you know, we'll split the night. So I'll work 248 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: two thirty am to seven am, which means I'll just 249 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 1: go to bed when my kids go to bed and 250 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: wake up early as if you know, I'm catching an 251 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: early flight to go on a trip or something. I've 252 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 1: done that plenty of times before, and then I go 253 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: to bed early that day, or I just stay up 254 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 1: and work, you know, till two thirty in the morning 255 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 1: and sleep in the next day. Wow, I've never heard 256 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,599 Speaker 1: of that. That is like, if we've been allowed to 257 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: that in residency, I would have been all over that. 258 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 1: That is amazing. I mean, you have more shifts, but 259 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: that's just I would say, how many shifts do you 260 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 1: work a week? Like if you're saying, you know a 261 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: week where you were doing like the four pm to 262 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 1: one am shift or something, I mean, how many of 263 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 1: those would you do? Be easier to I'm not typical 264 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:01,319 Speaker 1: for full clinical hours because i have an administrative duty 265 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: with our hospital. So I'm the ultrasound director for the 266 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: three emergency departments in our group, and point of care 267 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 1: ultrasound or bedside ultrasound is a big part of emergency 268 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: medicine that really started becoming universal through all emergency medicine 269 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: programs when I was in residency. So the docs that 270 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: have been out for a lot longer, you know, may 271 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: not be as well versed, and so I have an 272 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: educational role or I teach classes during the day. I 273 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: also do quality insurance quality assurance, which is work I 274 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: do from home where I'm kind of reviewing all of 275 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 1: the scans to make sure they're correct, doing you know, 276 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 1: one on one sessions with providers. I also there's other 277 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 1: administrative work, developing protocols and algorithms on how to best 278 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: use ultrasound in the emergency department, and you know MED 279 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: student and resident lectures that I developed. So there's things 280 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: that I do from home. So I only work ten 281 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: shifts a month, and then I have about four shifts 282 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: a month worth of ultrasound work. So I'm about fourteen 283 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: shifts per month, where four of them are administrative from 284 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 1: home or you know, teaching a class which are daytime 285 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: hours which I can kind of schedule while my kids 286 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: are at school, or meetings that I might have to attend, 287 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: which I'll do. Okay, I'll say I'm available between ten 288 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: and two, so I know that the kids are out 289 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: of the house essentially. So now, how did you wind 290 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: up with using the o PAA as a childcare situation? 291 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 1: I mean, obviously that makes total sense for your shifting 292 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: schedule that you would have a hard time matching that 293 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: up with somebody who wasn't like in your house. But 294 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: I'm curious how that first came to be. It if 295 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 1: it was at all strange at the beginning, was their 296 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: learning curve for you? How did that wind up working out? 297 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: So it really came out of necessity because of my 298 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: husband's schedule and my schedule. We started out with a 299 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: nanny and she was wonderful. We loved her, but you know, 300 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: she wanted regular hours and she trailed my hours. So 301 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: if I worked a weird shift, she worked a weird shift, 302 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: and that became really difficult for her. She couldn't. She 303 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: just that's not what she was interested in it. And 304 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: I felt that a lot of nannies that we hired 305 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: would were in kind of similar boat. And my husband 306 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: was traveling a lot for work. I mean, he would 307 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: tell me it would be Monday, and he would say, oh, 308 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: on Wednesday, I got to go to Delhi for ten days. 309 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I wow, I can't and I cannot 310 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: just start giving up my shifts because then I look 311 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: like this mom dilettante physician. You know you can't do that. 312 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like if a male counterpart was like, oh, 313 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: I need to take care of my children because my 314 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: wife is traveling. Everybody would swoon at work, but if 315 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 1: the female physicians start doing that, I just don't feel 316 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: comfortable being perceived in that manner. So I have to 317 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: keep up my clinical schedule and with Munfreed's work schedule. 318 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,120 Speaker 1: And so that is why we got no pair because 319 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 1: they they're younger, so I feel like and they're so 320 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: excited to have an American experience, and it's just built 321 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: into the work culture that they will. You know, they 322 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,160 Speaker 1: have to work whenever we need them sort of thing, 323 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: rather than having regular bankers hours. It's a lot more affordable. 324 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 1: And I feel like at least the O pairs that 325 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 1: we've had have had a very close relationship with our 326 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 1: children compared to the nannies, because we had before our 327 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: first nanny for my daughter, Leela. We had had nanny's 328 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,400 Speaker 1: for my son before that when we lived in San Francisco. 329 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,440 Speaker 1: And I feel like the O pair experience, because someone 330 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 1: is living in your home with you, you get to 331 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: know them so well. And some people like that and 332 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: some people don't like it. I really love it because 333 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: I just I know what kind of person is taking 334 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,120 Speaker 1: care of my child. They have a very strong bond 335 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,880 Speaker 1: and that's just very meaningful to me. And I feel 336 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 1: like our old parents have not treated their work like work. 337 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 1: You know, they they hang out with us even after 338 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: they're done working. They you know, our old parents went 339 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: on our ski trip with us. We went out to 340 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,480 Speaker 1: West Virginia over President's Day weekend for skiing and she 341 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 1: came with us and it was great. I mean, the 342 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: kids love her. It's just a lot of quality time. 343 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,760 Speaker 1: So and there is did you have to I would 344 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: say with the hiring then like how much say do 345 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 1: you have and who you get, like who's placed with 346 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,920 Speaker 1: you from the agency And were there certain things you 347 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: said you were looking for in order to have had 348 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: this good experience. Yes, so you have to know what 349 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: you're looking for. And I think getting advice from other 350 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: moms is or other moms that you know that are 351 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: doing this process is invaluable. You know, we wanted someone 352 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 1: who was Spanish speaking, because they speak to speak Spanish 353 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: to Leila. Leela knows more Spanish than Hindi and Punjabina 354 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,640 Speaker 1: and she thinks she from Mexico, like she thinks she's 355 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,720 Speaker 1: a Mexican now. And because we've always had o Paris 356 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: from Mexico since she was a little baby. And we 357 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: you know, you get to interview them online. There's a 358 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: there's a they vet these these OH pair candidates very 359 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: much through the various agencies that you can apply through, 360 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: and so it's a selective process just to be eligible 361 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 1: to become an O pair. Then you interview with them, 362 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,679 Speaker 1: so you know, usually I would do an interview and 363 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: then when brief would do an interview separately, so we 364 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: would just get our own individual feel and then you know, 365 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 1: we would interview them together. Then we would interview them 366 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 1: with the children. And they'll give you parameter they'll give you, 367 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 1: you know, stats how much experience they have with childcare, 368 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 1: how much experience, what's their background, what's their reasoning for 369 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 1: coming to the United States. But you know, in the end, 370 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 1: it is a leap of faith. I mean, you don't 371 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,160 Speaker 1: totally know how it's going to work out until they 372 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 1: show up. And and I think you have to be 373 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 1: a flexible kind of person. I'm not that particular about 374 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 1: a lot of things. And I think that's something I've learned, 375 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 1: you know, having to be a mom who's working. I 376 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 1: can't have everything exactly how I want it. You know, 377 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 1: and so as long as the children are cared for 378 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:27,959 Speaker 1: by an attentive, loving person, you know, everything else is okay. 379 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: You know, I don't nitpick about their activities or what 380 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: they eat or you know, I don't know. I mean 381 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,679 Speaker 1: I do nitpick a little bit, but I just you 382 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: have to let certain things go. Our house is not 383 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: perfectly clean. I mean they spend time cleaning up and playing, 384 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: but it's not a spotless house, and you have to 385 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: be okay with that. I'm not living to perfection. I'm 386 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: living to happiness and balance is what I'm trying. You know, 387 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: I have a question about with your husband's sort of 388 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 1: intense travel schedule, has that ever been a source of 389 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: tension for you guys? You know, I know that having 390 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: the O pair certainly helps with some of that, but 391 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 1: you had mentioned, you know, the having the Deli thing 392 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: drop on you two days before. I'm sure it's difficult, 393 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: so to talk about it is it is? I mean, 394 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: I don't I have to. I mean, it definitely creates tension. 395 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: And you know, we don't have a lot of family support, 396 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 1: like I mentioned before, so it's it is stressful. And 397 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,479 Speaker 1: I just think that I really value the work that 398 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 1: my husband does. And I value my husband and I 399 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,439 Speaker 1: value the contribution he's making to the world, and so 400 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,680 Speaker 1: when he needs to do this stuff, it's really important 401 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: to me also, and it's the same thing for him. 402 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I work crazy hours, and he knows that 403 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,480 Speaker 1: I feel really good about what I'm doing that there's 404 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: no other type of physician that I could imagine being. 405 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: I mean, there definitely struggles with what I do, but 406 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 1: when I'm at work, I feel so gratified and so 407 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 1: happy that it makes the downsides worth it. And so 408 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 1: I think there's just a lot of mutual respect and understanding. 409 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I do get tired. I get cranky. 410 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 1: You know, when he comes back from the flight. I 411 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: you know, he doesn't get to come home and take 412 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,560 Speaker 1: a nap. I'm like, here are the kids, see you later, 413 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: you know, take them now. Well it's I mean, I 414 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: it's a lot easier now because they're seven and four. 415 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 1: I mean, when he started with his first political appointment 416 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,199 Speaker 1: at usaid, you know, I was thirty six weeks pregnant 417 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: when we moved to DC, and he told his boss, 418 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 1: he said, so I can move up until Swati is 419 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: thirty six weeks pregnant. That's the latest her Obi will 420 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: letter fly or I can come three months after the 421 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 1: baby is born, because it'll just be too crazy before then. 422 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 1: And his boss said come now, So we like packed 423 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 1: up everything moved. I was like pounding the pavement the 424 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 1: day I went into labor at thirty eight weeks. And 425 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: then when my water broke, when breath was like I 426 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,880 Speaker 1: told him, I was like, hey, man, breathe. My water broke. 427 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 1: It was eleven o'clock at day and he woke up, 428 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,240 Speaker 1: shot up out of bed, and he said, no, I'm 429 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:34,920 Speaker 1: not ready, and also you're not you know, and so 430 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 1: when he and when he when, you know, in the beginning, 431 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: when Leela was just a few months old and I 432 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 1: was starting my job and he was traveling, it was 433 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: really hard. You know. I have a lot of help. 434 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,439 Speaker 1: My secret weapon is my mom, my mom. If I 435 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: need her for anything my entire life, she will drop 436 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: everything and come and stay with me for weeks two 437 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: months at a time. And that's how I got through residency. 438 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 1: I mean, she lived with me for two years. She 439 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 1: didn't on it, but I couldn't, you know, we couldn't 440 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 1: really afford to have full time care and even with 441 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: full time care, we still needed more childcare hours because 442 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 1: I was a resident. So she came in, loved with me, 443 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: and took care of my son and I would there 444 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,880 Speaker 1: would be days where I would only see Veer at night. 445 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: I would breastfeed him at night to keep my milk 446 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 1: supply up and I wouldn't see him sometimes for days, 447 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: and it was it was really hard, but she you know, 448 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: I think, I think in general, like we just have 449 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 1: had to lean on people. My mom will come and 450 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 1: fly up. My brother will spend the night at my 451 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: house and go to work from clinic. If I'm working 452 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 1: late and he's traveling, we have no pair. My neighbors 453 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 1: helped me out a lot. I have one of my 454 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,600 Speaker 1: best college friends lives about forty minutes away. She has 455 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 1: watched the kids on the weekends for me. I mean, 456 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,719 Speaker 1: you have to rely on other people to help you 457 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,479 Speaker 1: as much as you can, and you have to make 458 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 1: a community. You have to build one for yourself, you 459 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: know who if you don't have one that's there, you 460 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,120 Speaker 1: have to find people who will help you. And that's 461 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: how we get through it. And I think because we 462 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: rely on other people to help us, and we trust 463 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: other people in our network. Our children have wonderful relationships. 464 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: I mean, my son and my mom are best friends. 465 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: I mean, they just are so in love with each other. 466 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 1: And because my parents immigrated from India when they were 467 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,920 Speaker 1: young in their twenties, I never really got to see 468 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: my grandparents very much or know them very well. And 469 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 1: to see my son and my daughter have such a 470 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: close relationship with my parents is so heartwarming and you know, 471 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 1: filled me up in a way that I can't imagine. 472 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,679 Speaker 1: And it's not even like a second best thing for me. 473 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: It's just wonderful that I have help when I'm not there, 474 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,920 Speaker 1: that people will step in to help me out when 475 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: I can't do for my kids on my own. You 476 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 1: had in your notes for us, I wanted to share 477 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 1: with our listeners one very practical thing you even have 478 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 1: going on that your your neighbors when they're snow days, 479 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: Like you guys trade off with the kids moved from 480 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 1: house to house. So our neighbors first started like getting 481 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 1: our kids together just based on our kids. They would say, 482 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 1: I want to go to Livia and Selly's house to play. 483 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: I want to go to Parah's house to play, and 484 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,920 Speaker 1: so they would just run over to each other's houses 485 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 1: and they became friends, and so the parents became friends. 486 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: And one thing that I think we started meeting regularly 487 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 1: was my son. This is a little bit of an 488 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,160 Speaker 1: aside that leads up to the snow days. My son, 489 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,399 Speaker 1: you know, he was not interested in reading very much, 490 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,399 Speaker 1: but he's a very social guy, and so we started 491 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 1: a book club. I told my friends, I was like, hey, 492 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 1: you guys, I really want to get Veer into reading. 493 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 1: So let's pick a book once a month and have 494 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 1: the kids read and discuss and we'll have wine and pizza. 495 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 1: And we started doing that once a month and they 496 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,119 Speaker 1: love that, and Veer has become a very good reader. 497 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: But he also looks forward to, you know, discussing books 498 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 1: and topics with his friends. And then, you know, after that, 499 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: you know, we started relying on each other more. You know, 500 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,440 Speaker 1: we would have pot lucks and just Sundays we'd grab 501 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: a quick, you know, glass of wine together and talk 502 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,199 Speaker 1: about the week or politics. Then on snow days, you know, 503 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 1: because we're all working moms and dads, sometimes it's the 504 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: dads who have the brunch of it. It's hard to 505 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,679 Speaker 1: just sacrifice an entire day just because your kid's school 506 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 1: is closed, so we'll take two hour shifts and the 507 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 1: kids will just go from one basement to the next. 508 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 1: And when the kids are, you know, at my house, 509 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 1: I'm watching them, make sure making sure they're they have 510 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,680 Speaker 1: hot cocoa or snacks or games to play, and then 511 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 1: they move to the next house and then the parents 512 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,160 Speaker 1: can go back to working. And that, you know, really 513 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,679 Speaker 1: saves us as far as you know, childcare hours, like 514 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,640 Speaker 1: rearranging your okay or your nanny schedule, you don't necessarily 515 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 1: have to do that, and you can still get quite 516 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,920 Speaker 1: a bit of work done. And in the DC area, 517 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: I mean, a lot of people work for the government 518 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: and they know parents are going to be I think 519 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,640 Speaker 1: there's like an unwritten rule or culture like, hey, we're 520 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 1: going to finish our work later because we have to 521 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,879 Speaker 1: take care of our kids. And so I don't you know, 522 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 1: we're able to kind of like take breaks for two 523 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,439 Speaker 1: hours and still get everything done if we need to 524 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: on those snow days. And I mean, that's just a 525 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,560 Speaker 1: perfect example of how we do lean on each other. 526 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: I love that And it sounds like, yeah, you're you're 527 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,879 Speaker 1: pretty calm, which I love as well. And I wonder 528 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,439 Speaker 1: if you know hearing how you sort of take this 529 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 1: all in stripe? I mean, has your career had something 530 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: to do with it? I mean the fact that you've 531 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: probably seen me every element of humanity possible and every 532 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: disaster that can happen. Do you think that's made you 533 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 1: more even keeled? And Oh my god, I love that 534 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: I'm coming across as an even keelled and calm person. 535 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: But I guarantee you, when my friends and family listen 536 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 1: to this podcasts, they're going to fall out of their 537 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: seats laughing, because I am the last thing. But that 538 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,479 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that I try not to sweat 539 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 1: the small stuff because yes, at work, I really see 540 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 1: horrendous things, and I see how fragile life is, and 541 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 1: so I don't worry about everything that I think I 542 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 1: used to worry about. But the other calming force in 543 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 1: my life is my husband. I mean, he is really 544 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: a guiding light him for me. I mean I've known 545 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,959 Speaker 1: him for I don't know, fifteen or thirteen years, a 546 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: really long time. I've been married for I think thirteen years, 547 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: and so I've known him for about fifteen years, and 548 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: after this much time, he's still the person I respect 549 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: the most and look to for support the most. And 550 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: he's a calm guy. He's a kind guy. He has 551 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: a wonderful worldview, and we all kind of lean on 552 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 1: his foundation to you know, make things work. And I 553 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 1: think he's rubbed off on me little bit. But I 554 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: still am spastic compared to basically everyone else in my family. 555 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: And that's also part of my profession. I mean, emergency medicine. 556 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 1: It's just so fast and things can change so quickly, 557 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,959 Speaker 1: and you just, you know, you just are constantly distracted 558 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 1: and moving in five directions at the same time. And 559 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: so I think that's really where my personality is. But 560 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 1: I think I can tolerate bad things a little bit 561 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,920 Speaker 1: more because of what I see and the training that 562 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: you have to go to to become a physician. So 563 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 1: I think any physician probably has some degree of calm 564 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:44,440 Speaker 1: because you have to sacrifice your body and yourself for 565 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: your patients and your work. You have to you know, 566 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: delay gratification for your work, and so I think all 567 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,680 Speaker 1: of that kind of has influenced how I've become well. 568 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: In my experience, all the best physicians are this interesting 569 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: blend of like hype burn zen. So it sounds like 570 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,520 Speaker 1: you've you're one of them. I don't have the privilege 571 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 1: of working with you directly, but I bet you're awesome. 572 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: Thank you. Although one of the things that does not 573 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 1: make her zen apparently I'm looking at our notes here, 574 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 1: she wrote to us, cooking dinner is way more stressful 575 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,360 Speaker 1: than intubating a patient for me. Yeah, so maybe you 576 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: would like to explain that a little bit to us. Well, 577 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I've trained for you know, my 578 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: entire life to become a physician, and even now I 579 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: still am learning and training on how to be a 580 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 1: better and better doctor. And I did not learn how 581 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 1: to be a mom, to run a house, to cook dinner, 582 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 1: and that is extremely stressful to me. I mean planning 583 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: a menu. I have to plan a menu. I have 584 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 1: to know exactly what groceries to buy, and I have 585 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: to know exactly what I'm going to cook. I can't 586 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 1: make something on the fly like my mother in law 587 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:55,800 Speaker 1: is amazing. She can look at whatever is in her 588 00:31:55,840 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 1: fridge and just make something beautiful and so tasty and 589 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: fresh out of just whatever is in her pantry and 590 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: in her refrigerator. I could never do that, And you 591 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: know it's just she grew up differently. My mom grew 592 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: up differently than I did. I just I feel like 593 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: maybe by the time my kids are out of the house, 594 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: I'll finally have figured out how to cook something. But 595 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 1: it never turns out right, It never turns out like 596 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 1: my mom's cooking does. And I always burn something. I 597 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 1: just I don't know how to do it. And I 598 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: would definitely rather put in a central line, intubate, you know, 599 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: do anything like that than cook. That is really stressful 600 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:41,960 Speaker 1: for me. So do you cook? Yeah? Yeah, I mean, 601 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: I mean, okay, we don't have to, so okay, yes, 602 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 1: you're right. You're right. It's pressure that I put on 603 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:53,080 Speaker 1: myself because of, you know, I think the culture that 604 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 1: I come from. You know, my mom and my mother 605 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: in law are amazing cooks, and me and my husband 606 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: grew up eating rush roties and you know, like homemade 607 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 1: vegetables and thal every day. My mom would make something 608 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 1: every day. And she did work, you know, not in 609 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: when we were younger, but she did work during the 610 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: day because she became so good at, you know, managing 611 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: her house and taking care of her kids that she 612 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,640 Speaker 1: got bored and so she was like, well, let me, 613 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: I'll just go work at Macy's just to like keep busy. 614 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's so typical of immigrant immigrants. 615 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 1: You know, they're just so hard working that they will 616 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: find more and more to do. And she just did 617 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 1: everything till perfection. So I put pressure on myself because 618 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: I want my kids to have some of what I 619 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,880 Speaker 1: had growing up. And so I tried to make Indian 620 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: food once a week, and that takes so long. I mean, 621 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 1: making ten rotis takes me over an hour, and my 622 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,479 Speaker 1: mom can do that with her eyes closed in ten minutes. 623 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: I mean it's ridiculous. And then but I try to 624 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,440 Speaker 1: standardize some things because I don't like thinking about cooking 625 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: too much. So Tuesdays are always taco Tuesdays, and I 626 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,840 Speaker 1: try to make that a veggie meal, so because I 627 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: just am trying to, you know, have them eat more 628 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: fiber and that kind of stuff. So we'll just do 629 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: beans on that day. And then right now, my husband 630 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,440 Speaker 1: is his work is not that busy right now, and 631 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,719 Speaker 1: so he's been helping out a lot, and so he'll 632 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,319 Speaker 1: take one night for dinner, so that's good. And then 633 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 1: usually one day we'll do leftovers to clean out the 634 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:34,080 Speaker 1: fridge because I'm loath to waste any food. I can't 635 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 1: stand that. And then Fridays we'll do pta pizzas or 636 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: maybe we'll order in sushi and watch a movie. So 637 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,760 Speaker 1: I kind of have things delegated out or and days 638 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,520 Speaker 1: assigned and things that I know I can make very easily. 639 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: And you know, it's been a few years now, so 640 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: I have some standard things I can go to, which helps. 641 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: But I do feel a pressure to cook for my kids. 642 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,319 Speaker 1: But that seems like a very nice balance to use 643 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,839 Speaker 1: that word again, because you do cook, but you're you're 644 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:05,319 Speaker 1: not You're not slaving over the doll every single night. 645 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,280 Speaker 1: You're doing it in a way that's meaningful but still 646 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,759 Speaker 1: makes it work. Yes, yes, I can't do it. I 647 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 1: mean I don't have the time to do it every day. 648 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 1: There's no way, And I mean my mom and my 649 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 1: mother in law wouldn't be able to tolerate it because 650 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: every day that I cook, the one day a week 651 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,799 Speaker 1: that I call Indian, I'm constantly calling them. I'm like, 652 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: what what did you do? How much? Should you tell 653 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,759 Speaker 1: me how you did this? Again? And they are like 654 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: how are you a doctor? And you're smart enough to 655 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,360 Speaker 1: do that, but you cannot figure this out so funny. 656 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 1: I think your kids are lucky because it sounds amazing 657 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:40,720 Speaker 1: and very delicious. Oh, thank you? Well cool, Well, Sarah, 658 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,759 Speaker 1: did you have anything else, anything like medicine specials? No? 659 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: I think she got to most of it. I still 660 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,719 Speaker 1: don't know how these shift workers do it, but I 661 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:50,839 Speaker 1: also think there's a lot of natural selection that goes 662 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,680 Speaker 1: into people choosing things based on their strength. And it 663 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,439 Speaker 1: sounds like swaty. Do you ever get to nap during 664 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,120 Speaker 1: your shift? Like? Is there every time? In the ers? 665 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:05,000 Speaker 1: I can't answer that for her. No, no, no, I've 666 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,799 Speaker 1: never seen a sleeping er doctor ever. Ever. Well, maybe 667 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 1: I'm wrong, but I've never seen any. If you go 668 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 1: somewhere that's like, you know, a very rural area, they 669 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,399 Speaker 1: might not be as busy and you might get to nap. 670 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,760 Speaker 1: But you know, I in our emergency departments, it's really busy. 671 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,720 Speaker 1: It's flu season right now. There's a lot of sick people. 672 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,400 Speaker 1: We're seeing a lot of complications from influenza, you know, influenza, 673 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 1: pneumonia's and people getting septic and it's just you know, 674 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 1: it's real. It's always busy. Yeah, you guys are amazing. 675 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 1: I can imagine. Well, so we have this part of 676 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 1: the show every week where we do our love of 677 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,800 Speaker 1: the week, so something that is making us happy. Sarah, 678 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,799 Speaker 1: you want to go first on this one. Sure, Well, 679 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:51,640 Speaker 1: this is somewhat thematic because it does have to sleep, 680 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: and it's also kind of a take back of a 681 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,759 Speaker 1: prior level of the week. So I wanted to point 682 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 1: out that I do listen to listener feedback and I 683 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,320 Speaker 1: discuss loving espresso capsules and someone commented on my blog 684 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: with a bit of perhaps a snarkier tone that was necessary, 685 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,840 Speaker 1: but still with a valid point that they're really not 686 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 1: very environmentally friendly and while they are delicious. She had 687 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 1: a good point they are recyclable, but it's not that 688 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 1: easy to do that anyway. So my husband and I 689 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,120 Speaker 1: let that roominate for quite some time, and I guess 690 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: her comment had an impact because we did switch to 691 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,719 Speaker 1: drip coffee and now I am super into the old 692 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,040 Speaker 1: school drip coffee that we drank for years and years 693 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:34,840 Speaker 1: before we drank the espresso so Allegra Colombian blend coffee 694 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,440 Speaker 1: and my coffee maker that I can start up with 695 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,440 Speaker 1: one button in the morning is my love of the week. 696 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, I'll do something related, then I 697 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 1: think there's something else. But while we're on a coffee theme, 698 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: there's so much to love about coffee that really it's 699 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 1: you know, we could we could do this every week, 700 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:53,759 Speaker 1: but we've done in recent weeks. We accidentally bought a 701 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:58,960 Speaker 1: bag of whole beans as opposed to the preground stuff. 702 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,640 Speaker 1: But for actually I had a grinder from I don't know, 703 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,319 Speaker 1: some other part of my life that in my lack 704 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,919 Speaker 1: of decluttering, I still have, so, you know, through the 705 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 1: beans in there grounded, and it's it's quite good to 706 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 1: actually do the grinding yourself and have the coffee from that. 707 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,440 Speaker 1: So will I will put a shout out to actually grinding. 708 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,160 Speaker 1: It doesn't take that much longer. I would think. It 709 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 1: really only takes like thirty seconds longer to grind it 710 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,320 Speaker 1: in this very quick grinder. So I'm trying to motivate 711 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,760 Speaker 1: myself to do that more mornings than that was awesome. 712 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,799 Speaker 1: How about you swak a love of the week that 713 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,319 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be copy related. It does not have 714 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:41,879 Speaker 1: to be coffee does not love of the week. This 715 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:46,360 Speaker 1: is so not anything about balance or anything enriching. Homeland 716 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,759 Speaker 1: just started on Showtime and my husband and I are 717 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:53,040 Speaker 1: totally addicted to that show. So we just watched the 718 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,320 Speaker 1: second episode of the season and it was very thrilling 719 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 1: and I cannot see what cannot wait to see what 720 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,440 Speaker 1: Carrie Mathieson does next week. Awesome that that was a 721 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: perfect love of the week. Well, thank you so much 722 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,720 Speaker 1: for being with us. We really appreciate you sharing your 723 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,640 Speaker 1: life and you're so thank you for having me. It's 724 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 1: like really validating to listen to this podcast and see 725 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,120 Speaker 1: that there are a lot of other women who are 726 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,240 Speaker 1: going through similar struggles in life. So I really appreciate 727 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:23,200 Speaker 1: you guys doing this. Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks. 728 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,320 Speaker 1: So we've been getting some awesome cues in it, Q 729 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: and A. There were questions from listeners and people are 730 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,080 Speaker 1: posting on our blogs, and we really appreciate your doing 731 00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:33,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to throw a bit of a curveball here 732 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 1: in that I overheard this question, so it was not 733 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 1: directed at me specifically, but I was running a five 734 00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:45,439 Speaker 1: mile or last Saturday, and these three women were running 735 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,319 Speaker 1: it together and they were like running the exact same 736 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 1: pace as me, so I couldn't help but hear their 737 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,440 Speaker 1: conversations through big chunts of this until I finally managed 738 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,600 Speaker 1: to speed up and get away from it. But anyway, 739 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,720 Speaker 1: one of the ladies posed this question, which I actually 740 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,359 Speaker 1: thought was a pretty interesting one. I wanted to hear 741 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,160 Speaker 1: what Sarah was going to say about it too. This 742 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,880 Speaker 1: woman's daughter is starting kindergarten. Then they live close enough 743 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:06,360 Speaker 1: to the school that she could walk her to kindergarten 744 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 1: in the morning when that starts up. However, her work 745 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,800 Speaker 1: hours usually start before school starts, and she was pretty 746 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: sure that her boss was going to be fine with it, 747 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,240 Speaker 1: like her boss would would have okayed it, But she said, 748 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,719 Speaker 1: I'm worried about how everyone else in the office is 749 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,319 Speaker 1: going to take it, Like, I think everyone will be 750 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 1: so ticked off about me getting this special treatment that 751 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,640 Speaker 1: it's just going to be a huge problem. People are 752 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,359 Speaker 1: gonna be whining about it. So I really just don't 753 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,120 Speaker 1: think I can do it. I was like, well, that 754 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,080 Speaker 1: is an interesting issue. Like, so if you think your 755 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,800 Speaker 1: manager's okay with it, but you're worried about the social 756 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 1: dynamics of the office. And now, Sarah, you have negotiated 757 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,640 Speaker 1: for and gotten an eighty years schedule. Yeah, you've gotten 758 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,920 Speaker 1: an accommodation there, So what was the social dynamics there, 759 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 1: I have you worried about it at all? I didn't 760 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,959 Speaker 1: think to worry about it at all. But one thing 761 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,040 Speaker 1: I have made very clear with my coworkers is that 762 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,200 Speaker 1: I want them to understand and that I also get 763 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,520 Speaker 1: eighty percent pay. So I've brought that up sort of 764 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:08,759 Speaker 1: casually on a number of occasions. Anytime when it's felt like, oh, well, 765 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,680 Speaker 1: she's not doing okay, well remember that. You know, there's 766 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 1: there are trade offs here that I had to make, 767 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,560 Speaker 1: and I think for this person, number one would if 768 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,239 Speaker 1: her manager is okay with it, and especially if it 769 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 1: isn't going to be directly impacting others. You know, it's 770 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 1: different if you're taking your calls out of a call schedule, 771 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,520 Speaker 1: that's going to directly give someone else more call, So 772 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,799 Speaker 1: that's that's a whole other issue. But if it's more 773 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,360 Speaker 1: just like people are going to see her arriving sooner, 774 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,000 Speaker 1: or perhaps even having a shorter day or doing something 775 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,759 Speaker 1: at home, if her manager's okay with that, then I 776 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,040 Speaker 1: don't necessarily think there is a role for her to 777 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,719 Speaker 1: be worried about what everybody else thinks. But if it 778 00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:45,799 Speaker 1: makes her feel better, she could do what I do 779 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: and sort of casually but purposefully, I don't know, like 780 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,480 Speaker 1: emphasize the ways in which she's making up for that concession. 781 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,960 Speaker 1: So perhaps she's going to be coming in you know 782 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 1: an hour later a couple days a week. But she 783 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 1: could mention how, oh, I've been doing the early email 784 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,360 Speaker 1: shift from home and then I get a break, like, 785 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,400 Speaker 1: you know, somehow remind everyone how she is getting her 786 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,799 Speaker 1: work done at an alternate time that they are not 787 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,560 Speaker 1: doing work, and then she should be able to do it. Yeah. 788 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,880 Speaker 1: I was also thinking, you know, it would be the 789 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,560 Speaker 1: kind of thing that maybe she doesn't have to think daily. 790 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 1: I mean we talk a lot on this podcast about 791 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,279 Speaker 1: think one hundred and sixty eight hours not twenty four. 792 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,640 Speaker 1: Like maybe she could walk her daughter one or two 793 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 1: days a week and be in the office at the 794 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 1: normal time the other days. And that way she's doing both, 795 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,960 Speaker 1: Like she's putting in her FaceTime at the appropriate start time, 796 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,160 Speaker 1: but she's also getting to do this you know, morning 797 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,360 Speaker 1: shift with her daughter some days. So that might be 798 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,400 Speaker 1: a way to have it work. But yeah, you know, 799 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,279 Speaker 1: she starts work remotely at seven am and sends a 800 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,560 Speaker 1: lot of emails, like knocks a lot of stuff out 801 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: at that time. That can really show that she's still contributing. 802 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,759 Speaker 1: Or she could volunteer to take on something that other 803 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:54,279 Speaker 1: people don't necessarily want to do that, you know, be 804 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:58,680 Speaker 1: very straightforward, like, oh, you know, we have these clients 805 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,520 Speaker 1: who sometimes need things later in the night or something. 806 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,799 Speaker 1: You know, maybe she volunteers for that occasionally. You know, 807 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,680 Speaker 1: just think about ways that to show that she's still 808 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:11,440 Speaker 1: a team player. She's just asking for one specific accommodation, 809 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,319 Speaker 1: which again, you know, her boss is fine with. And 810 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,960 Speaker 1: I'd also be curious if they would if like, are 811 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,560 Speaker 1: we sure that they would even notice? There's the other thing. 812 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm not sure, my colleagues, if I didn't point it out, 813 00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,239 Speaker 1: they might. They're so everyone's busy thinking about their own 814 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 1: schedule and their own FaceTime that they there might not 815 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,719 Speaker 1: be as much paying attention to it as you think, 816 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:35,520 Speaker 1: and especially doing it doing the walking, you know, just 817 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: a few times. Await, like they don't know, like nobody's 818 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,239 Speaker 1: counting how many coats are on their desk chairs at 819 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: a certain time. I mean, that's we all live in 820 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 1: our own little worlds, and I think people notice a 821 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:51,520 Speaker 1: lot less than we actually think they do sometimes. But 822 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,319 Speaker 1: she could also just try it and see and and 823 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 1: see if there is the sort of pushback or if 824 00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:01,479 Speaker 1: there isn't, then that's a wonderful little discovery. If you're listening, yes, 825 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,520 Speaker 1: let us know how it worked. I was the lady 826 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,239 Speaker 1: in the pink jacket. So if you're running this race 827 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,799 Speaker 1: in Ambler, Pennsylvania, and like a lady in a pink 828 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 1: jacket was right by you for big chunks at the time, 829 00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,880 Speaker 1: please let us know. Anyway, this has been best of 830 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,719 Speaker 1: both worlds. This is episode thirty three. Tune in next 831 00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,000 Speaker 1: week for more on making work in life fit together. 832 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 833 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:32,600 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 834 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:37,000 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 835 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,560 Speaker 1: This has been the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please 836 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,239 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 837 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 1: life work together.