1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Some I'm driving down Sunset Boulevard this morning, feeling tired, 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: running on fumes, and then suddenly, boom, the beaches come 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,120 Speaker 1: on and the Tony Mannaromie pops and I am jamming 4 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: and so ready for today's lunch, because today we're having 5 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 1: lunch with Chelsea Handler. And she is a force. She 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,319 Speaker 1: is an author, she is a comedian. She has a 7 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: point of view, she's not afraid to share her So 8 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: today we are going to have a great lunch at 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: the Sunset Tower Bar, one of my favorites, as you 10 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: know by now, and I hope you enjoyed. Oh, I 11 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: see a blong beauty who the party is. Chelsea, of course, 12 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 1: just exudes joy when she walks in the room. She's 13 00:00:52,280 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: wearing an amazing navy jumpsuit and looks absolutely gorgeous. I'm 14 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: so psyched to be sitting with delicious. Chelsea's regularly here 15 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: at the Tower Bar, and everyone is so happy to 16 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: see her. And if you work in the restaurant, is 17 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 1: she is not only the type of celebrity you want, 18 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: she's just the type of customer you want. She's not fussy, 19 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 1: she's not precious, she's super nice and she just brightens 20 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: up the joint. You know, I was looking at Eric's mullett. 21 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 1: Eric's our server here today. Yeah, he has a handsome 22 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: and he hasn't those of you who can't see this 23 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: podcast because it's a podcast and he's from Wisconsin that 24 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: we were talking about the return of the mullets. Oh yeah, yeah, 25 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: I do. I've seen it and he was the first 26 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: one who told me about it last week when I'm sorry, 27 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: brought it back. That's that's how I feel about jumpsuits. 28 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: I just didn't want to say that. I didn't want 29 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: to toot my own home. So pull up a chair. 30 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: Today is bound to get a little rowdy. I'm Bruce 31 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: Bozzy and this is my podcast table for two. Hi, 32 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: Bruce Bossy. This is a really exciting day here to 33 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: everyone who's on the other side of this mic, because 34 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: I'm sitting with you know, you look fucking gorgeous. Chelsea Handler, 35 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: Thank you, Hi. Hi, you're in this like navy. I 36 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,359 Speaker 1: love it. Jumpsuit, I mean, who doesn't love a jumpsuit? Yeah, 37 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: well that's like a female comedians uniform. These days, we're 38 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: all wearing them for some reason. Really, I mean, I've 39 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 1: been wearing a jumpsuit for on stage for about two 40 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: uh two to four years now it's kind of turned 41 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 1: into my outfit. I wore one recently last weekend that 42 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: I bought at American let's say on that vintage store. Yeah, 43 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: good American. No, that's Chloe Kardashians company. Maybe that's the one. Yeah, 44 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: I think a good American And it just zips up 45 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: and you can go commando commando. No, no, no. I 46 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: always were underwear always, yeah, I never. I do not 47 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: like that. I like something underneath my area to just 48 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: make sure that we're covered on all bases. But I 49 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: when I have had to pee outside wearing a jumpsuit 50 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: at a music festival, and when you take it down, 51 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: you really are more more vulnerable than any other situation 52 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: where you pee outside because then your your breasts are out. 53 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,519 Speaker 1: I mean hopefully you're wearing a brad. If you're me, 54 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: you have to wear a brad because my breasts are 55 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: so big, But you have to. I've definitely had to, like, 56 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: you know, you take it down and you're like, well, 57 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 1: this isn't really good at all for this. I mean 58 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: it's a good look and I like it, and it's 59 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: it's like it's got a utility field, do you know 60 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: what I mean. I don't like any frills or bullshit anyway, 61 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: So this is kind of the perfect outfit for me. 62 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: So we are sitting here at the Sunset Tower. We 63 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: both love this restaurant, and it's a big day for 64 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: the woman I'm sitting with. It was an announcement today, 65 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 1: you are going to host, yes, the Critics Choice Awards 66 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: in January. How did that come about? I don't remember. 67 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: I think my publicist called and said, would you like 68 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: to do this? And I said absolutely, that sounds like fun. 69 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: You know what it was? I hosted me kimmel Um 70 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: like two months ago, and I hadn't done that in 71 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: a while. I guest hosted for a week and I 72 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: was like, oh, oh, I like this, like, you know, 73 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: being able to comment politically, culturally, societally on everything that's 74 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: going on, and right now, obviously there's such a dearth 75 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: of women doing that in that space. I was like, Oh, yeah, 76 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: let's get back, let's get this going again. I'd like 77 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: to get back into that world. I'd like to get 78 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: back into being a public, you know, daily commentator on 79 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: the world's like affairs and in a fun and less 80 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: gross way than I think. You know, the last kind 81 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: of five years have brought out in a lot of people, 82 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: you know, myself included. You know, like after Donald Trump 83 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: was elected, I went off the rails and then I 84 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: had to really like get my act together and figure 85 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: out how I want to contribute in a more meaningful way. 86 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: And you know, and I had taken a long break 87 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 1: from doing stand up, so I started doing that a 88 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: couple of years ago. And now with the talk shows 89 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 1: and everything that's happening, it's like, now I feel that 90 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 1: kind of motivation again. So that'll be a platform to 91 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,359 Speaker 1: do that. And you know, you do do it on 92 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: your like I love your TikTok's, and you do call 93 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: people out, uh, you know, your instagrams, like your stories. 94 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: On a lesser serious note, when you were you did 95 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: one where somebody had no shoes on on an airplane. Yeah, 96 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 1: that's pretty disgusting. It's it's actually kind of a epidemic, 97 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: I would say, or a pandemic epidemic. No, it's a 98 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: global issue actually, like epidemic. What's that panhandle? Um? Yeah, 99 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: people are flying you should see my d m s. 100 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: They were flooded. I was on a plane and I 101 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: just was so disgusted by this man who was on 102 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: like across the aisle with his feet on the TV screen. 103 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe what was happening. And I feel 104 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: like after like COVID was brought upon a time where 105 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: everyone became more hygienic and more mindful, and now there's 106 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: like this reverberation where it's like, no, no, no, we 107 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 1: didn't mean any of that. Now you get on a 108 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: plane and you looked it down, like over your arm 109 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: rest to the side and see what's like the crevice, 110 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: what is in there? You're like, what the hell is happening? 111 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: Are animals? Yeah, like they've been let out. I was 112 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: on I jet blued across the country the other day 113 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: and I just looked down the skies as his flip 114 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: flops on his big feet hanging out flip flops. I'm 115 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: so sick of flip flops. They're not even a shoe. 116 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: They're just like wearing rubber stuck to your feet. It's 117 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 1: like wearing a Maxi shield on your foot. It's true. Anyway, 118 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: I got inundated with other foot photos from airplanes because 119 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: people were like, oh my god, And so people start 120 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: taking photos of all these people get up to go 121 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: to the bathroom in their bare feet, walk down the 122 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: aisle and go into that disgusting bathroom and then come 123 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: back around. It's like, what who told you that that 124 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: was all right to do? There's urine everywhere. We have 125 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,359 Speaker 1: all been told the amount of germs that you know, 126 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: if you put that like black light on all over 127 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: the tray that we're about to have lunch, just as 128 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 1: a disgusting pre that's okay. Actually this is a great 129 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:03,719 Speaker 1: way to get my appetite stirred up. How do you 130 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: remember us meeting? Wasn't at an Oscar party? Definitely was 131 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 1: at an Oscar party, and it was always at Jennifer 132 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: Aniston's house. Okay, yeah, yeah. My question is when we 133 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: go because you look amazing. You are clearly in great shape. 134 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: You know. One of the reasons we go is when 135 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: she has these sort of curated speakers. They're talking about 136 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: anti aging or longevity and I don't even know the 137 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: anti aging is a correct word. Are you able to 138 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: understand any of that? I feel like I need a 139 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: PhD in that room. Well, I mean when you're a woman, 140 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: you kind of get one, especially if you live in 141 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: Los Angeles. So I do understand it, but like half 142 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,239 Speaker 1: this anti aging stuff I take, I have no idea 143 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: what it is or what it does. So, like, what 144 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: is your basic day to day regard to keeping Chelsea 145 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: Hamlet looking exactly like I see today? Um, well, I 146 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: would thank you. I would say my day to day 147 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: regiment would be I wake up every morning, I meditate, 148 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 1: I work out, I take my NAD my n A 149 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: D and I don't want to leave that out. I 150 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: definitely think that every day. I injected every day. Now 151 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: to the listener, I've done n A D as well, 152 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: what is how do you? And it's very hard for 153 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: me to explain, Yeah, how do you explain a D? Well? 154 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: Hopefully I won't do it at disservice. It's an anti 155 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: aging like molecule, cellular molecule that helps well, it's not, 156 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: but it's a molecule that helps kind of um stagnate 157 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: your aging and in some cases even reverse it. I 158 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: think those drips are probably more powerful than the daily 159 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: injections because you can only do like fifteen units. And 160 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: but anyway, it's anti aging. It makes your hair come in, 161 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: it makes your skin more luminous, it makes your muscles 162 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: recover more quickly. Then there's another peptide. I take a BPC. Um, 163 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: I eat really healthy. I'm like, you know, sometimes I 164 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: go off, but not really. I mean, I'm too old 165 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: for that ship, so I don't really do that. Um. 166 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: You know, I drink a lot less than I used to, 167 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 1: ingest a lot of cannabis these days rather than alcohol. 168 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I still drink, but I don't like to 169 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 1: be you know, it's not a cute look at a 170 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,839 Speaker 1: certain age in the same way you can't get away 171 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: with it, and affects your body differently the whole thing. 172 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: And I just don't like feeling foggy writing a new 173 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,079 Speaker 1: book right now. So, like men, mentally, clarity is like important. 174 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 1: And I'm you know, at an age and forty seven 175 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: where I understand what works for me and what doesn't 176 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: work for me. I was never in working out when 177 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: I was in my twenties. I just was like, Oh, 178 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: it's so annoying, you know, Like I would look at 179 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: thin people and be like, why are they even working out? 180 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 1: Like they've already made it, you know what I mean, 181 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: They're already thin. And mine was constant like a battle, like, oh, 182 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,079 Speaker 1: I've just got to get thin. I've got to get then. 183 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: You know. Now that I am fin, I'm like enjoy 184 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: being thin now, So all this is what you wanted, 185 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: you know, like and then stop. Don't get carried away 186 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: with your thinness. It sounds like you and I am 187 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: the same thing, which is a consistency and moderation. Yeah. Yeah, 188 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,719 Speaker 1: Who's was something I had a sort of deal with two. 189 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I was, I like to drink, have a 190 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: wooden leg. Oh yeah, right, what I would say, I 191 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 1: have a wooden leg as well? But you still drink? 192 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah right, okay, because yeah, there's nothing worse 193 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: than finding out somebody sober halfway through lunch such a 194 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 1: bummer and you're like, oh god, you too. You mean 195 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 1: so if you were dating somebody a deal breaker? I think? 196 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,839 Speaker 1: So what are the deal breakers? Okay? With you dating 197 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: air May's belts would be a big deal breaker. That's 198 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 1: something I can't get past on a straight man. A 199 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: gay guy could get away. Yeah, probably gay guys can 200 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 1: get away with anything, in my book, but straight man 201 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: have a like a long road to hold. Um. What 202 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 1: else is a deal breaker? Somebody who's like not open 203 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: to therapy as a deal breaker, you know, somebody who 204 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: has not done any self examination. I wouldn't be turned 205 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: on by that. Or is it like against pursuing that, 206 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I'm not down with that 207 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: because that's just like not evolved in my opinion. Um, 208 00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: what else is a deal breaker? I mean, I guess 209 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 1: you know, intolerance of other people like you? Well, yeah, 210 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: I mean so you were very obviously, very pinionated. You're 211 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: very direct human being. I completely appreciate that as I 212 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: always been. Chelsea Handler. Did you were you born with 213 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 1: this voice, with this strength? Yeah, I've been like this 214 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 1: since I was a little girl. I mean yeah, I 215 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: don't know that's you know, you're born with some personality 216 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,719 Speaker 1: and mine is was in your face. Like I mean, 217 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: I was the youngest of six kids, and I just 218 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: came out like demanding shipped from my parents. I asked 219 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,559 Speaker 1: my dad when I was four, like if we had 220 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: a dowry for me when I got married, And he 221 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 1: was like what, He's like, what did you Where did 222 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: you learn that word? I'm like, don't worry about it. 223 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: Do we have any money saved from my wedding? What's 224 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 1: the game plan here? And do you guys have a 225 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: savings account. My parents were just like a hot mess, 226 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 1: and I knew that from a very early age. I 227 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: had to get the hell out of Dodge. I was 228 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: like I was eleven, looking through the want adds to 229 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: find myself in my own apartment because I was trying 230 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: to convince my parents it would be better off if 231 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: I lived alone. Get out. Oh yeah, yeah, I was 232 00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: a real piece of work. Welcome back to Table for two, 233 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: where I'm chatting with the amazing Chelsea Handler. As we 234 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: dive into story time, I almost forget that we are 235 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: in fact here for lunch. What are we eating today? 236 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: I don't know what are we eating. I wasn't planning. Sorry, 237 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: I didn't really look at my calendar. I just saw 238 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: I saw Bruce Bozzy. I'm like, I got a scedattle 239 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: and it gets a tower bar. I think I'm gonna 240 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: just do a simple like chop salad. I think I'll 241 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 1: take can I get a half dozen oysters? Love it? Unfortunately, don't. 242 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: All right, I'll take a shrimp cocktail. Damn it. That's 243 00:12:54,320 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: so Eric. I went to l A when I was nineteen. 244 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: I tried to go to college for like a semester 245 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: after high school, which was a community college in New Jersey, 246 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: and I studied, ironically Russian history. I don't know what 247 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: I was thinking we're talking about. I was like filling 248 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,079 Speaker 1: a box of time because I was like, what am 249 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: I going to do with my life? I'm not going 250 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: to go to college, really, but we thought maybe I 251 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: should start because I was eighteen and graduated from high school, 252 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: and I think I just stayed in Marstown because I 253 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 1: was dating this guy who lived in Marstown, and so 254 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,319 Speaker 1: that was like the Probably the real reason I stayed 255 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: was because he was really hot. Yeah, but we weren't, 256 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: you know. That wasn't why I stayed. For the beauty 257 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,959 Speaker 1: of Morristown. Then we broke up and I was like, 258 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: what am I doing in New Jersey. I don't want 259 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 1: to be here. I always wanted to move to Los Angeles. 260 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: I had an aunt uncle who lived in bel Air. 261 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,960 Speaker 1: The first time I had come to Los Angeles, I 262 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 1: was like ten years old and we came to visit 263 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: my aunt and my mom's sister and we got on 264 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: an airplane and it was the first time I had flown. 265 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: I was like ten, and we walked past the first 266 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: class actually in and I was like, whoa who were 267 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 1: these people like this looks like this looks like my group, 268 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: and my mom was like, no, no, honey, we have 269 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 1: six children, like we're never flying first class. This is 270 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 1: a different section of the plane. And I was like, well, 271 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: I don't know about that, Like I feel like I 272 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: belonged there. So we went back, and then two years 273 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 1: later I had my second plane trip. But I had 274 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: become a babysitter in between ten and twelve, and I 275 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 1: saved up my money and I purchased my own first 276 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: class ticket from a neighbor down the street who is 277 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 1: my friend's mom, who happened to be a travel agent. 278 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: And then the next flight we took as a family 279 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: with my mom and I had two brothers with me 280 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: who were all older. I'm the youngest. We get on 281 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: the plane and it was my grandfather's funeral. He had died, 282 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 1: and we're flying to California and to a was my seat, 283 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: and I fucking flopped down and I was like, hey, 284 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: I will see you guys at the end of the fight. 285 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: And my mom was like, what are you doing? What Chelsea? 286 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: Get up? I'm like, this is my ticket. I purchased it. 287 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: And my older brothers like, oh, my god, are you 288 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 1: kidding me? He said, you have to give that seat 289 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: to mom. I'm like, no, I don't. I purchased this. 290 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 1: This is my earn money. Like a mom can sit 291 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: in the back of the plane where she's that's fine 292 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: with her. This is where I belong. That is maybe 293 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: one of the best stories. Well, let's not get care 294 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 1: of serious that you had that like fortitude to do that, 295 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: to say, like, okay, next trip, I'm my own ticket. 296 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: I was serious. I was so serious about being comfortable. 297 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 1: Like my family life. It was fine. We were, you know, 298 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: middle class in New Jersey, very Jewish and Italian like 299 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: town Livingston, and we had everyone had, you know, it 300 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: was well taken care of in our neighborhood. But our family, 301 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: in contrast to the other families, because my father was 302 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: a used car dealer and because they were used car 303 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: strewn all over our driveway looked like Sandford and Son 304 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: of our neighborhood. So I was always embarrassed. And you know, 305 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: and growing up you become materialistic. If that's what you're around, 306 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: you're like, fuck, this is ridiculous. Like I would have 307 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: people dropped me off three doors down from my parents 308 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: because I didn't want you to see my parents driveway. Yeah. 309 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: I was very worried about other people's opinions and and 310 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: right from an early age, I was like, this isn't 311 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: gonna be This isn't gonna cut it for me, Like 312 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 1: I need a little bit more. And then I moved 313 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: out to l A. Really, when I was nineteen years old, 314 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: I was going to drive across country because my brother. 315 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 1: My dad gave me one of his jelopes to take 316 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: across country. It was an Audi quatro. And my brother 317 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if you should be driving 318 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: across country by yourself. And I was like, oh, it's fine. 319 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 1: Who gives a ship, Like I'll be fine. No one's 320 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: gonna work with me. And he's like, I met this guy, 321 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: this bartender the other night. He's driving across country too. 322 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 1: Why don't you guys drive together? And I was like, okay, 323 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: but my brother literally met the guy the other night. 324 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: My mouth is open. Okay, So I picked this guy up. 325 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: This is and I picked the guy up. We get 326 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 1: in the car and he's like, let's go to Harlem. 327 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 1: I want to get some cocaine. And I was This 328 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: was before I had ever experimented with cocaine. And I 329 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: wasn't about to with this guy, you know, I was 330 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: still like a little fresh, and I was like, all right, 331 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm like I had no judgment about I was like, 332 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: all right, cocaine, what you know, I had no interest 333 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: of nine. But I was like, okay, sure, let's go 334 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 1: get it. He comes. I mean, this guy bought so 335 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: much cocaine. It was just this humongous bag, is all 336 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: I remember. Like, I mean, it was like something out 337 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: of a drug cartel. And he starts doing it as 338 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: I'm driving. He just starts snorting cocaine. And I'm like, 339 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: and he doesn't stop talking. This guy will not shut 340 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 1: the funk up. And I'm already like, okay, if this 341 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: part of I can't handle, like I can't handle the 342 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,719 Speaker 1: incestant chatting. And he had maps laid out. It's just 343 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: as you were leaving, Yeah we were, and yeah, and 344 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 1: so then we stopped somewhere. We get a hotel room. 345 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 1: We get a hotel room with two beds. We check in. 346 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,919 Speaker 1: He has maps strewn everywhere across and talking about this 347 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 1: route and that root and then he's putting up like 348 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,240 Speaker 1: little like flash cards on the wall, like and I 349 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 1: was like looking at this guy, going, oh my god, 350 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,680 Speaker 1: this guy is a mess. I can't be around him. 351 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,360 Speaker 1: So in the morning we woke up. I woke up. 352 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,080 Speaker 1: He had been up all night. Of course he he 353 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 1: was staring straight at me with his pupils completely dilated, 354 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 1: and I just was like no, So I said, give 355 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 1: me a minute, and I said I'll be right back. 356 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,119 Speaker 1: I just wanna, you know, And I grabbed my suitcase 357 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: and I went outside to the car. I took his 358 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 1: stuff out of my car, left it on the parking 359 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:19,159 Speaker 1: lot floor and pulled away and drove across country by myself. 360 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: Good for you. And then like two and a half 361 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: days later, I'm in Amarillo, Texas, and I get pulled 362 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 1: over by a state trooper and he has a guard 363 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,360 Speaker 1: dog and tells me to get out of the car 364 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: and the dog is going through my car, going nuts, 365 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 1: going crazy, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna 366 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 1: get arrested for like residue or cocaine. And luckily he 367 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 1: didn't find anything, but there was just you know, like 368 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 1: you could I'm sure he picked up the set and 369 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: I was just I remember sitting on standing on the 370 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: side of the highway with my leg shaking, and I 371 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 1: just thought, this is it. I'm going to go to 372 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: prison now for the rest of my life. Wow, breathing 373 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:03,360 Speaker 1: that story. That is a good, crazy story. And then 374 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: I called my family. They were on Martha's vineyard at 375 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 1: our summer house. My brother picked up and said, I said, 376 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,919 Speaker 1: let me talk to mom and dad, and he goes, no, 377 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: they don't know that you're driving with that guy across country. 378 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: And I don't think you should tell them until you 379 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 1: get there. They're not gonna like that. And I was like, 380 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: first of all, that guy I left in Maryland, Okay, 381 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,280 Speaker 1: so don't even worry. I'm not with that guy anymore, 382 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: you idiot. And don't ever set me up with anybody 383 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 1: you met at a bar. Oh my god, all those 384 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 1: stories with the inspirations for all your books. Yeah, I 385 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 1: mean a lot of my books are, you know. Always 386 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 1: in my books it's about my family because I'm very 387 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: tight with my brothers and sisters. My parents have both 388 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: passed away, and I mean that's where you get your 389 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,719 Speaker 1: kind of cynicism and starchasm, you know, especially being Jewish 390 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: and growing up in Livingston, New Jersey. It's just kind 391 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 1: of like our family was very like everything is sardonic, 392 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: and we're all just kind of you know, that old 393 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: school sense of humor where you like, even when it's 394 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 1: a good moment, like, wow, this is fun. You know, 395 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:22,879 Speaker 1: it's not. Nothing's fun. Really, Welcome back to the table. 396 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 1: I'm in an amazing conversation with Chelsea Handler. The food 397 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: hasn't even arrived yet, and the stories are so juicy. 398 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: It's easy to get caught up in a personality as 399 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 1: big as Chelsea's. Oh, let's tell everyone just happened. Thank you, Eric, 400 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: Thank you. Eric delivered not only the shrimp cocktail, but 401 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: the oysters. Where did you get? Oh my god, see 402 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: a table for two with Bruce? Yeah, should happens? Oh 403 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: my god? Are we allowed to eat the eating? Well, 404 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: you bring up something that I was going to talk 405 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: about a little later, which is really your political activism. 406 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: Because one of the things that you do is you 407 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 1: visit college campuses and you talk to people, and you 408 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: want to get back on a platform. What is the 409 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,680 Speaker 1: vibe on the campuses with everything at stake going into 410 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 1: the midterms, Women's rights, gay rights, what's Chelsea's voice going 411 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: to be saying? Well, I think during the last four years, 412 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:34,639 Speaker 1: like I realized or between. I mean, I was just so, 413 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,239 Speaker 1: I was just I couldn't believe it, you know, and 414 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 1: I realized, you know, used to use your voice more judiciously, 415 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 1: you know. Sometimes I just can rant and rave, and 416 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,439 Speaker 1: then it's I'm just speaking to my own audience and 417 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: people who agree with me anyway. And the real kind 418 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 1: of delicacy or talent would be to kind of step 419 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: in in timely moments instead of beating the same drum 420 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: all the time, you know what I mean. I think 421 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,400 Speaker 1: you know, when you argue the same point all the time, 422 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: it kind of diminishes the argument. So applying that to 423 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 1: my activism has been you know better because a doesn't 424 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: keep my blood pressure at such a high level. It 425 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,919 Speaker 1: allows me room to think and be thoughtful about what 426 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: I'm saying and contributing. Um. But I'm definitely not like, 427 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: you know, screaming from the rooftops the way I used to, 428 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,440 Speaker 1: because I don't think it was reaching anybody new or different. 429 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 1: And I feel like, effectively, you know, stand up is 430 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 1: such a great tool. Like I've been on this tour 431 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: for a year, which has also kept me very busy, 432 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: but it's given me like a way to actually reach people. 433 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: You know, women are my audience. Gay men and women 434 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 1: and young girls like are always at my shows, and 435 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 1: they invariably are inevitably will drag some straight man with them, 436 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 1: you know, And so if I can get my point 437 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: across in that forum in a way that's comedic and funny, 438 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 1: it's much more digestible than you know, screaming at somebody. 439 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: So that's a lesson that I learned in you know, 440 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 1: the last few years, and so I just think about 441 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,640 Speaker 1: that whenever I'm doing anything, you know, how to bring 442 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: people in rather than turning them away or making them 443 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,640 Speaker 1: feel shameful about their decisions, trying to have a better 444 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: understanding of why anybody's what anybody's motivation is to begin with. 445 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,159 Speaker 1: You know, obviously there are certain people that can't be 446 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 1: reasoned with, and then there are certain people that are 447 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: on the fence, and like those are the people. Okay, 448 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,159 Speaker 1: so let's talk about Vaccinated and Horny tour. What was 449 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: the inspiration for this tour? Um? I think, you know, 450 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: when everything started opening back up, I just felt like 451 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,959 Speaker 1: as a comedian, I had something to offer people in 452 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: terms of wanting to bring everybody out of COVID and 453 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,159 Speaker 1: wanting to put together people in a room for the 454 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,480 Speaker 1: first time, to remind them about togetherness. For some people, 455 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,160 Speaker 1: it was their very first time back out, and for me, 456 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 1: I thought I felt a sense of responsibility, like, oh, 457 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: I can make people laugh and I can talk about 458 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,240 Speaker 1: all the stuff that I did during COVID, which was ridiculous, 459 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: and the fact that my family invaded my house and 460 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 1: I had to put my house on the market to 461 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,160 Speaker 1: get fucking rid of my family. I mean, I'm basically 462 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: I'm living in a rental in Beverly Hills, in the 463 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: mecca of plastic surgery, where I drive around the corner 464 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 1: and I can't tell if somebody's thirty or sixty because 465 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,399 Speaker 1: everyone's got the same exact face and I don't. I'm like, 466 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,400 Speaker 1: what is this? This is like one of those It's 467 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: like a Truman Show episode of a different nature. But anyway, 468 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: I'm building a house in Brentwood. I bought a house 469 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,240 Speaker 1: in Brentwood because of my sister. I blame her, because 470 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,640 Speaker 1: I needed to downsize to send my family a very 471 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,479 Speaker 1: clear message that just because I had four extra bedroom 472 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 1: does not mean I wanted fucking company, you know. Then 473 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: I went to house shopping and then I was like, okay, 474 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna downsize. I'm gonna downsize. And I had an 475 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 1: offer on this one house on the Holland and I 476 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is perfect. I just want a 477 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: bachelorette pad. I just don't want a huge house anymore. 478 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 1: I have, you know, I go skiing in the winter 479 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: and Whistler. I love that. I spend half my time, 480 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 1: you know, I'm always out and about. It does like, 481 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: just let's downsize. And then as soon as that play, 482 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,280 Speaker 1: that deal was supposed to close, I was like, this 483 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,639 Speaker 1: is too small. I'm like, ah, this is clostrophe. Nobody 484 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: will be able to stay here. I'm like, oh wait, wait, 485 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,440 Speaker 1: this is exactly the opposite of what you were saying. 486 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 1: So then I ended up buying a house in Brentwood, 487 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 1: which is basically the same size of the house I 488 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 1: moved out of, but it's in a much different neighborhood, 489 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,199 Speaker 1: and it's a different style, and it's a little bit 490 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: more intimate, and I've converted every single guest room into 491 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 1: something that is not a guest room. I have one 492 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: room that is a guest room, and I'm putting two 493 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 1: like queen size bunk beds in that guest room, so 494 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: anyone who wants to sleep over it needs to sleep together. 495 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,639 Speaker 1: And I took one bedroom and blew it out and 496 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 1: turned it into a two story library. I took another bedroom, 497 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 1: blew it out and turned it into a podcast room. 498 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,880 Speaker 1: And I took the other bedroom and turned it into 499 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 1: a closet. I love the plan. I think, like it's perfect. 500 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 1: When you were horny and COVID, what was the horny piece? Like, 501 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,359 Speaker 1: I know, well, the horny piece was first of all, 502 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: I had my nephew living there who was claiming he 503 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,679 Speaker 1: was horny, and I did not give a shit about 504 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: his horny nous because he's twenty four years old, and like, 505 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, really, I think you can handle a pandemic. 506 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 1: You know. He's like, I'm so stressed out. I'm like 507 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,160 Speaker 1: about what you're living. What are you stressed out about 508 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: living in my mansion? What is stressful to you right now? 509 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 1: Because I'm stressed because you guys are here and uh. 510 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 1: I Then they left and I was so excited and 511 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 1: I just was like, let's get the party started. Because 512 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,760 Speaker 1: I had those at home COVID health tests that you 513 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 1: could buy, and I was like, Oh, this is awesome, 514 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,120 Speaker 1: Like I could potentially test any potential penetrators that came 515 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: over to my house. I would just have been Rya 516 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: and I would have different guys come over, and I 517 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,199 Speaker 1: would stand with their call times from like, you know, 518 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 1: i'd have someone kind of an eid, someone coming to 519 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,760 Speaker 1: nine thirty because I knew they wouldn't all be home runs, 520 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 1: and then I would just interview them, like and it 521 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,439 Speaker 1: took like I would do a nasal swab. I'd put 522 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 1: it in the cartridge in my kitchen run the test. 523 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 1: It took like thirty minutes for the test to come up. 524 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 1: And during that time, if they said anything that annoyed 525 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 1: me or I saw a pinky ring, I would say, 526 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: you have come really I like that, So you took 527 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 1: care of business. How many times a week did that happen? Well? Actually, 528 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 1: there were a lot of real disappointing men that came over, 529 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: and I just couldn't believe it. I was like, what 530 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: is going on with straight guys? Like they were just 531 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: becoming so oh. I mean they would say the wrong thing, 532 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: or you know, one guy would say he wears masks 533 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 1: all the time, but he didn't think that they worked. 534 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: And I'm just like, oh, shut shut up, who gives 535 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 1: a ship what you think? You're not a doctor or 536 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:15,399 Speaker 1: a scientist or a nurse um. And so it was 537 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,880 Speaker 1: actually wasn't as successful as it should have been because 538 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 1: I was ready to rumble. But then I went to Whistler. 539 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: I bought a little house up in Whistler skill. I'm 540 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,360 Speaker 1: a big ski er. I love to see nude. Yeah. 541 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,160 Speaker 1: I do that every year on my birthday to celebrate 542 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: my independence. Oh my god, I love that. Yeah. Do 543 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,120 Speaker 1: video is you can see yourself? Oh? Oh yeah, They're 544 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:37,920 Speaker 1: always on my Instagram. Every year. I do it on 545 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 1: my birthday. I have a margarita one hand and a 546 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,640 Speaker 1: joint in the other, and I ski down topless with 547 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,119 Speaker 1: my little Canadian and American flag over my nipples to 548 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: represent my two favorite countries. You are, you are okay? 549 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,159 Speaker 1: So now you go to Whistler and you're So I 550 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,199 Speaker 1: go to Whistler, I was like, how do I get 551 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: into Canada? Because Canada is was sucking shut They were 552 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 1: like get away from us in Arkans. So Kevin Hart 553 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 1: was shooting a movie up there. And then I was 554 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: watching Kevin Hart's Instagram and he's literally in l a 555 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: one day and then in Canada the next day, and 556 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 1: I was like, excuse me, there's a two week quarantine 557 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 1: that everybody has to fulfill. Like what are you doing, 558 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,639 Speaker 1: Kevin Hart? So I called him and I was like, hey, 559 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 1: I need you to get me a work permit for 560 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: your you know you're on a movie, like get me 561 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: hooked up. I need to get into Canada. I just 562 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: bought a house on FaceTime and I need to go 563 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 1: there to see I bought a house on FaceTime because 564 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: I was desperate. Then I thought also Trump was the 565 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,720 Speaker 1: election was coming up, and I was like, oh my god, 566 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 1: if he gets elected, I do need a place in Canada. 567 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: So I was treating it like an episode of the 568 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: Handmade s Tale basically, and Kevin said, sure, no problem. 569 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,040 Speaker 1: You know I'll hit you back in twenty four hours. 570 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: He was useless. He did not come up with anything. 571 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: And I want to be on the record when I 572 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 1: say that Kevin Hart is useless and he cannot help 573 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: you with a visa or getting into any other country. 574 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: So I finally get my own. I get a work permit. 575 00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 1: My agent finds me a theater in Vancouver, theater, decent 576 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 1: sized theater, and he's like I can get you a 577 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,479 Speaker 1: residency there for three months. You just have to perform 578 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: on Saturday nights. I'm like, great, that'll get me into Canada. 579 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: So I go. I bring my dogs. I charter a 580 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: private plane. Hopefully this is only industry listening to this podcast, 581 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: so that nobody thinks I'm unrelatable anyway. I'm an environmentalist. 582 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 1: So I charter a plane and I bring my two dogs, 583 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: and I just bring as much cannabis as possible. Okay, 584 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: because I'm going for I don't know how long I 585 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: was going to be there. I didn't know if I 586 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 1: was gonna be there two months, six months. But what 587 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: I did know is I had to quarantine for two weeks. 588 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: When you get to Canada, you can't go back and forth. 589 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 1: You have to stay exactly. Because Kevin obviously is somebody 590 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 1: exactly and that's what he's known for. I get to 591 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 1: the airport and the guy comes up to me, this guy, 592 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: and he's like, I'm really worried. He had this Australian accent. 593 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: I can't do an Australian accent, but he said, I'm 594 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 1: really worried they're turning people around at the Florida. I 595 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 1: don't think we should go, you know, I'm not sure. 596 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean They're hurning people around 597 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: the border, like I have all my paperwork here, like 598 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 1: I've already, you know. And he's like, we've got to 599 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: get on the phone with customs and la la la la, 600 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: and so I'm like all right, and and then I'm 601 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,320 Speaker 1: getting nervous, like I might not be able to go, 602 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 1: and all I wanted to do was go and ski 603 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 1: because everything was shut everywhere. He gets on the phone 604 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: with customs. Customs like, hi, miss handler, everything checks out, 605 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: We're ready for you. We'll see you in a couple 606 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: of hours. I look at the guy and I go, look, 607 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: everything's fine there. They know I'm coming and I've got 608 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 1: my paperwork. He said, I don't know. I don't know. 609 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 1: People say they can you can go, and then you 610 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 1: get turned around and I just don't know if we 611 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: should do it. And I was like I'm sorry, who 612 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 1: are you? Like are you a customs agent? And he's 613 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: like no, I'm the pilot. And I was like you're 614 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: the pilot. I go, you don't even have to stay 615 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: in this, Like I hired a plane and a pilot 616 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,239 Speaker 1: and your co pilot who was on the plane, who 617 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,720 Speaker 1: was a gay man who totally fucking had my vibe right. 618 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 1: I looked at him and he's like I'm so sorry. Like, yeah, 619 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You have to deal with this guy. So 620 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: we get on the plane, we have my dogs, and 621 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: I go, listen, this isn't up to you, like I 622 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: hired you. If we go when we get turned around, 623 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: that's on me. Like that's not You're not gonna have 624 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: to deal with anything. Then you're just flying back anyway, 625 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to fly back anyway. And he 626 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: was really resistant, and finally I was like, listen to me, 627 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 1: you aren't flying me to Vancouver now, and you need 628 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: to put your foot on the gas and take the 629 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 1: fucking plane up. So we get up in the air 630 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 1: and we literally are like twenty ft in the air 631 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,400 Speaker 1: and he gets a call and he's like they're telling 632 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: me that I have to ground the plane, that I 633 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: have to ground the plane, that we didn't get cleared 634 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: for takeoff. I get up out of the seat and 635 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 1: I walk over to him and I said, if you 636 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 1: turn this plane around, I'm gonna lose my ship. I 637 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 1: was like, you need to fly me to Vancouver, no 638 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: fucking around. And then we went to Vancouver and guess what, 639 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,960 Speaker 1: Customs walked on board and said, welcome to Canada, Miss Sham. Yeah, 640 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 1: and they said are your dogs? You know? Had your 641 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 1: dogs been here before? Or when was the last time 642 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,719 Speaker 1: your dogs were in Canada? And I was like, they 643 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 1: came last Christmas alone on a trip for themselves because 644 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 1: I did not have their paperwork in order, so um, 645 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 1: but it all show. Yeah I did. And then he 646 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: started laughing and he's like, Okay, come on in. Do 647 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 1: you feel like being someone who is so direct and 648 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 1: opinionated and vocal and dynamic and just uh with the 649 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,480 Speaker 1: whole cancel culture? You do you get nervous about it? 650 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 1: You feel like, well, funk, I'm going to say something 651 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: that's going No, I don't. I don't because I'm not 652 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: stupid and I'm not a racist or a sexist, you 653 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like the cancel culture. Yes, obviously 654 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 1: it's gotten carried away because now people are being held 655 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 1: accountable for things they said like twenty seven years ago, 656 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: and that's not really appropriate either. But at the same time, 657 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 1: there's like an overcorrection, you know, And I feel like 658 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,640 Speaker 1: that's a pattern with things, there's always an overcorrection. We 659 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: had times up, then we had cancel culture, and you know, 660 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: and like look at the reverberation of me too, like 661 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 1: they overturn Roe v. Wade, Like that is related in 662 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: my opinion. You know, if you have women speaking up 663 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 1: loudly and proudly, and then we're like, no, shut the 664 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: funk up, We're actually going to take your rights away. Like, 665 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: it's not a coincidence that these political movements happen in 666 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,520 Speaker 1: kind of sequential order. So as far as cancel culture goes, though, 667 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 1: Like I really think when people are guilty of something, 668 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:13,240 Speaker 1: they should have a sincere game plan to a address 669 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 1: the situation and apologize in a sincere way instead of 670 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: being this defensive person and saying I didn't mean it 671 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: that way, I didn't do it. I mean, come on, 672 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,040 Speaker 1: that was It's like that's not the answer. The answer 673 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 1: is to be accountable and to say I fucked up. 674 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, I fucked up, and this is what 675 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do to make sure that I learn and 676 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 1: no better so that I don't ever behave this way. 677 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 1: So there's kind of like male resistance in this male 678 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 1: like attitude that you can't say anything anymore. It's like 679 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: you can you can say anything, you just can't rape 680 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: because we're gonna tell on you. And you can't be 681 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: sexist and not be racist. That's not a tall order, 682 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,960 Speaker 1: and that's the way it should be, like, you know, 683 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 1: instead of like you know, it's it's not hard to 684 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: go through the world or even stand up with some parameters. 685 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 1: I like a little guardrails because I will go off 686 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 1: the rails if you don't give me some parameters. I 687 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 1: feel like the conversation has been had and we should 688 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 1: now move on to the next phase. You know, what 689 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: would that next phase be? Well, I mean I think, 690 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,319 Speaker 1: you know, instead of just canceling somebody completely, it's more 691 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 1: of a conversation. It's like giving somebody the room to 692 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 1: to make good, you know, giving somebody the opportunity to 693 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: come and say I'm sorry, and and they're not gone forever. 694 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 1: You know. I think that women are just so mad 695 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: and so piste off, and they have every right to be. 696 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,400 Speaker 1: And you know, I'm also bad and piste off on 697 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 1: behalf of women. So I just think there's a toggle 698 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,319 Speaker 1: right now going on, and it feels like we're at 699 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: the tail end of cancel culture, hopefully, and so that 700 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: people can have room to grow and room to make mistakes, 701 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: you know, not sexual assault mistakes, but language mistakes and 702 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,879 Speaker 1: confusing things. And there has to be a little bit 703 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: more latitude. What are the things that keep you all 704 00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,000 Speaker 1: at night or waking up in the morning saying okay, 705 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,800 Speaker 1: I mean yeah, of course, you know, personal things and 706 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,040 Speaker 1: you know, like worldly things. I think it really depends. 707 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,280 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, like, look what's happening in Iran, 708 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: and like look what the government's doing to those women. 709 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 1: I can't even believe how brave these women are. I mean, 710 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 1: I don't know that I would be that brave. I 711 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,319 Speaker 1: mean I would have to be, because I would have 712 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,239 Speaker 1: to stand for something, but I wouldn't be psyched about it. 713 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,600 Speaker 1: And I'm sure they're not. But I mean that rock 714 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,360 Speaker 1: climber that went, you know, competed the other day and 715 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 1: then flew back to Iran to basically be tortured while 716 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 1: her brother was arrested. I don't I can't believe that 717 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 1: that government is also not seeing the writing on the wall. 718 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,839 Speaker 1: You know that they're just killing them and shooting them 719 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,839 Speaker 1: and torturing these women and innocent men, and you know, 720 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 1: even children. And I just watched these videos and I 721 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,719 Speaker 1: just can't believe these little girls in schools taking off 722 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 1: their jobs and just you know, storming these men throwing 723 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,279 Speaker 1: ship at them, like you know, taking the control back, 724 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 1: and and when these people have weapons, It's just unfathomable. 725 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 1: So that stuff keeps me up at night. And climate 726 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: change is, you know, is the Big two. Whenever I 727 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,359 Speaker 1: see anyone pregnant, I'm like, what are you? What are 728 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: you doing? Like this world is spelled taken broad like 729 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,200 Speaker 1: that's my cynicism. And I believe, you know, the way 730 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,040 Speaker 1: it's been accelerating and the floods all throughout the world 731 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,000 Speaker 1: that are happening right now. And I don't know, is 732 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 1: it Are we too late to get around it? It It 733 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 1: feels like it. It feels like it. Are you afraid 734 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,120 Speaker 1: of dying? I don't think so. I mean no, that 735 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,879 Speaker 1: would be a nice break, you know, like a nice 736 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: long sleep. I'm definitely into sleeping. I just hope it's 737 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,279 Speaker 1: not something. Oh my god, your TikTok about sleeping and 738 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,480 Speaker 1: kids your life? Fun to know why I'm still in 739 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 1: bed and my um, yes, I like to do mushrooms 740 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 1: at eleven am with my landscaper. That's why I don't 741 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 1: have children, because you know who's not doing that people 742 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:53,080 Speaker 1: with children. So okay, so the vaccinated and horny Tour. 743 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: For some reason, my New York accent Horny Tour doesn't 744 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 1: come out right to you. When are you shooting or 745 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 1: did you shooting? I shot my sh It's airing on 746 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 1: Netflix December, two days after Christmas. So it's really it's 747 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:08,360 Speaker 1: my best special for sure. Yet I'm really excited about 748 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 1: it for it to come out, for people to see it, 749 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 1: because I'm now back in the groove of doing stand up. 750 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 1: I had taken like a six year hiatus from stand 751 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 1: up because I just didn't feel like I had anything 752 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,400 Speaker 1: to contribute, you know. I didn't feel like I had 753 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: anything to say. And now I'm like, yeah, I have 754 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,000 Speaker 1: something to say, you know. So I came back with 755 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 1: a vengeance. I did my last special at HBO Max, 756 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,640 Speaker 1: which was called Evolution, and that was based on my 757 00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 1: last book, Life Will Be the Death of Me, which 758 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,160 Speaker 1: is about going to therapy after Trump was elected, being 759 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,880 Speaker 1: so angry and having being filled with such a vitriol, 760 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:40,239 Speaker 1: you know, about the whole process and and Trump supporters 761 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,279 Speaker 1: and the whole Trump family. The fact that I was 762 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: going to have to look at Ivanka's and Eric's veneers 763 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,640 Speaker 1: for the next four years pissed me off. Then, you know, 764 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: I went to therapy. I did really deep work with 765 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,680 Speaker 1: this guy, Dan Siegel. I had never been a therapy before. 766 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,839 Speaker 1: I really like found out about all my anger and 767 00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 1: all my kind of movement throughout my life, and how 768 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 1: I was never able to be still and I was 769 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,319 Speaker 1: never able to sit and reflect, and I was never 770 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 1: able to like meditate or be alone, like I always 771 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 1: had people everywhere, and I, you know, I realized I 772 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,759 Speaker 1: was so upset about my brother dying when I was nine. 773 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,839 Speaker 1: I never dealt with that. I just kind of put 774 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,959 Speaker 1: it away and shoved it down. Was like I became invulnerable, 775 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: you know, like I wasn't gonna let any man hurt 776 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: me again. My father after my brother died, was he 777 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,200 Speaker 1: may as well have died too, because he was just 778 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,480 Speaker 1: so he was never the same. And so it was 779 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,560 Speaker 1: like two of my attachment figures just basically kind of 780 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 1: ditching me. And in a nine year old's brain, that's 781 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 1: like a break up, like an abandonment. Even though there 782 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 1: was an accident, you don't have that you know, uh, 783 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 1: nuance our maturation to to digest it. And my parents 784 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,840 Speaker 1: certainly didn't send any of us to therapy. So it 785 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,440 Speaker 1: took me a long time to even understand that that 786 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 1: was my issue and that I was so like because 787 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,960 Speaker 1: I was so protective of myself because I had to 788 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: be at a very young age to not be hurt 789 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 1: by anybody. So I wrote a book about that, my 790 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,680 Speaker 1: last book, um and and then I turned it into 791 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,319 Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, maybe I can if this 792 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: can be in the medium of stand up, Like if 793 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,000 Speaker 1: I could make this funny, So that was important for 794 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: me to do. So I did that and then I 795 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: was like, I like, stand up again, and then I started, 796 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: you know, I did another tour and I and this 797 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 1: is it revolution, and I think I'll keep doing it. Now. 798 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,640 Speaker 1: I have to say that we are lucky in this 799 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,520 Speaker 1: world to have your voice and your power because this 800 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,600 Speaker 1: is a time where people like yourself make such a 801 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:37,759 Speaker 1: huge difference. Your voice is really important and that is 802 00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 1: such a blessing, So very thankful for you, Chelsea Handler. 803 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,240 Speaker 1: You know, there's just nothing better than getting completely lost 804 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 1: in a conversation and talking to Chelsea just does that 805 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,840 Speaker 1: for me and I hope you feel the same way. 806 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,840 Speaker 1: So before we say goodbye, there is one more question 807 00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:03,280 Speaker 1: that I just needed to know. What's your favorite position 808 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:09,600 Speaker 1: for sex? Yes, I think missionary, romantic, not my to 809 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,319 Speaker 1: I know, but like kissing and like, yeah, that's my 810 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: favorite position, right, Yeah, I like like a guy on 811 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 1: top of me, you know, face to face. Do you 812 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,560 Speaker 1: like a like a big guy, like bigger than me? Ideally, 813 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,760 Speaker 1: I mean I would like their thighs to be bigger 814 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,400 Speaker 1: than mine. But I've also been known to like depart that. 815 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I've had men with less big or lesser 816 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:35,200 Speaker 1: thighs than I do, and that's not great. But you know, 817 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 1: as you get older, you realize that everybody comes in 818 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,840 Speaker 1: all different shapes and sizes. And I'm kind of pleased 819 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:45,080 Speaker 1: with my openness sexually and dating wise. Like if you 820 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,120 Speaker 1: look at my track record, it's all over the shop. 821 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 1: So I love that because that's who I am. Like, 822 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 1: I don't have a type, and I don't think I 823 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,719 Speaker 1: ever have. I just like when somebody makes me interested 824 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: and is compelling, you know that I can completely connect 825 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:03,040 Speaker 1: with And confidence. Confidence is really like attractive, and especially 826 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 1: when you're someone like me who has the ability to 827 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 1: kind of turn men off. Our men will be like, Oh, 828 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,879 Speaker 1: she's too loud or she's too brash. You know, Like 829 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:15,399 Speaker 1: it's really intoxicating to be around a man who appreciates 830 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 1: those qualities and understands that I don't have the ability 831 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,040 Speaker 1: to be something that I'm not or and I don't 832 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,520 Speaker 1: have the desire either, you know, Like I'm embracing myself. 833 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,800 Speaker 1: What a joy to have you here, What leisure to 834 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 1: have you on the earth. Like everyone who's at the 835 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,640 Speaker 1: table today, I hope you really enjoy this because Chelsea Hamlet, 836 00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 1: you are a powerhouse, beautiful, incredible person and I love you. 837 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,359 Speaker 1: I'm very happy you came today. Thank you, Bruce, You're 838 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:50,840 Speaker 1: so cute. Cheers cheers, sears to not getting ship faced 839 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:58,560 Speaker 1: at lunch. Table for You with Bruce Bozzy is produced 840 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,799 Speaker 1: by IRR Radio so them three seven part in air mail. 841 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:06,200 Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Bruce Bozzy, Jonathan Hans Dressler and 842 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: Nathan King. Table for two is edited and written by 843 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,799 Speaker 1: Tina Mullen and researched and written by Bridget Arsenalt. Our 844 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:17,560 Speaker 1: sound engineers are Emil B. Klein, Paul Bowman and Alyssa Midcalf. 845 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 1: Table for two is l A. Production team is Danielle 846 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:25,040 Speaker 1: Romo and Lorraine verrez. Our music supervisor is Randall poster 847 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,400 Speaker 1: Our Talent booking is by Jane Sarkin. Special thanks to 848 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:33,720 Speaker 1: Amy Sugarman, Uni Share, Kevin Uvaine, Bobby Bower, Alison Cantor, Graber, 849 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,600 Speaker 1: Barbara and jan Chen and Jeff Klein and the staff 850 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,760 Speaker 1: at the Tower Bar in the world Famie Sunset Tower Hotel. 851 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,879 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the I Heart 852 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,399 Speaker 1: Radio appum Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your 853 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,200 Speaker 1: favorite shows.