1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,399 Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer, an Imheart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,479 Speaker 2: On Today's Whine About It Thursday Therapy. We've got Greg 3 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 2: Harden and he has a book out called Stay Sane 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 2: and Insane World, how to Control the Controllables and Thrive. 5 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 2: He actually has a forward by Tom Brady. Greg Harden 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 2: is a peak performance coach. He's a motivational speaker. He 7 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 2: has worked with seven time Super Bowl champion quarterback Tom Brady. 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 2: He's also worked with Heisman Trophy winner and Super Bowl 9 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 2: MVP Desmond Howard and twenty three time Olympic gold medalist 10 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,239 Speaker 2: Michael Phelps. He's spent over thirty years building them at 11 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:41,919 Speaker 2: the University of Michigan whoop including four hundred future professional athletes, 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 2: fifty NFL first round draft picks, and one hundred and 13 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 2: twenty Olympians from over twenty countries. And he's gained national 14 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 2: recognition when sixty Minutes Sports profiled him as Michigan's secret weapon. 15 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 2: Let's get him on and hear all about how to 16 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 2: stay Sane in an Insane World? 17 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: Hey, Greg, how are you? 18 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 3: Life is good? 19 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, it looks good. 20 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 2: So I was reading your bio and I got really 21 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 2: excited because I'm from Michigan. 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 3: Detroit, Michigan, Yes I am. 23 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 2: I mean I say Detroit when I'm like, you know, yeah, 24 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,479 Speaker 2: I'm from Detroit, but like really in my street cred 25 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 2: is not that cool. 26 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: I was was I. 27 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 2: Was born in that area, but I was raised like 28 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 2: forty five minutes northeast of Detroit. 29 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 3: I understood, but. 30 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 2: I'm still like, yeah, no, I'm from Detroit because I 31 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 2: just I have a very like I even got I 32 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 2: even got mad at. I remember Madonna said something really 33 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 2: negative about Michigan, and I just have such a love 34 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 2: for my home state. I have a love for Detroit. 35 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 2: I have a love for just you know, the where 36 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 2: I went to school. And I just think Michigan is 37 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 2: just beautiful all around, and even Detroit like what they've 38 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 2: been able to do and rebuild. And I just am 39 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 2: like I am the biggest, Like I love my like 40 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: home state and the cities that fall in it. 41 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:10,799 Speaker 3: Well, I'll tell you what, I'm excited to meet you. 42 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,399 Speaker 3: Your range is crazy. She does what she does what 43 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 3: and what and a producer, don't forget the producer. 44 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 2: Listen, we hustle from Detroit, you know what I mean. 45 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 2: So like we're we're bred that way. It's like, all right, 46 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 2: you got to hustle, and that's just like, yeah, that's 47 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 2: been my thing. But you're not are You're not from 48 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 2: Michigan though, are you? 49 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 3: I'm from Detroit, Michigan. 50 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: You are from Detroit? Oh my guess? And are you 51 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: still working at U of M? 52 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 3: I am? You know you finished the way you start. 53 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 3: That was a client of mine one hundred years ago, 54 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 3: and now they're a client again where I'm advising the 55 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 3: athletic director and a couple of other folks. But I 56 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 3: retired from the university in twenty twenty, okay, and talk 57 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 3: about picking a perfect time to get away from a 58 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 3: out yeah, yeah, and so so now I just do 59 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 3: consulting and uh, I work only with people I like. 60 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 3: And so I'm in a fool's paradise. 61 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: Who are the people that you like? 62 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 2: Like if you could put them in like a room together, like, 63 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 2: who would be those people? 64 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 3: People like a few hockey players that I work with, 65 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 3: a couple of NBA players, some lawyers, some attorneys. I'm 66 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 3: working with a financial guru wizard in New York. And 67 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 3: but there are people who I absolutely love and like 68 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 3: and appreciate and and they understand what I'm trying to 69 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 3: give them is more than you know success. 70 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: So what what do you give them? 71 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: Then? Like what is your first of all, like the 72 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 2: qualities that they have that you like in them? And 73 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 2: then what are you giving them? 74 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 3: Oh good question when we talk about look at this, 75 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 3: what's the difference you've worked with all these high performance individuals. 76 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 3: What's the difference between Tom Brady and Michael Phelps of 77 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 3: Desmond Howard, Charles Woodson and the list goes on and 78 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 3: you have to share with them. They're not only hungry, 79 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 3: they're humble. So the people I work with, they have 80 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 3: the ability to surrender their ego. They have the ability 81 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 3: to be coachable. That's what the secret, the real secret sauces. 82 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 3: Are you coachable? It doesn't matter how good I Kramer, 83 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,679 Speaker 3: It don't matter how good we are, right, it doesn't 84 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,480 Speaker 3: matter how good I am. If the people don't receive it, 85 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 3: if they don't want it, if they don't hunger for it, 86 00:04:55,839 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 3: if they aren't passionate about being the best, I can't help. 87 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 2: What do you see as the biggest mental block for 88 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 2: the people that like they want to be they want 89 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 2: to be the best at it, But like there is 90 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 2: what mental block do you think holds holds people back 91 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 2: from going to that next step. 92 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 3: Being human? See, what happens is that no matter how 93 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 3: we cut it, no matter who you are, you're going 94 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 3: to turn into a human being over and over and 95 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 3: over again. And what happens is that they have the 96 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 3: same problems, issues, trials, and tribulations that the rest of 97 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 3: us go through. To sit up and think that, well, 98 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 3: you know, Jak, she's a superstar. J K is a 99 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 3: human being trying to stay sane in an insane world. 100 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 3: So some of us struggle mightily just with self acceptance 101 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 3: and self love. And that's if you want to know 102 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 3: the secret. That's not a secret of love and self acceptance. 103 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 3: You know, people who are some of the best friends 104 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:08,840 Speaker 3: you've ever had in your life treat you superior. You 105 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 3: love the way that sort of a tension affection, the 106 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 3: approval and acceptance they give you is spectacular. But how 107 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 3: they treat themselves saddens you. So the blocks are how 108 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 3: people talk to themselves, how they treat themselves, how they 109 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 3: are looking outside of themselves for acceptance and approval. 110 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say that. 111 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 2: I mean that's one hundred percent because whenever I kind 112 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,599 Speaker 2: of think back. I'm like, all right, what was the 113 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 2: problem there? I always go back to I put myself 114 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 2: either in the box or I am listening to old 115 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 2: beliefs that maybe someone else said to me and that 116 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 2: I believed as my own belief but it was never 117 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 2: really mine to like hold, And I think those have 118 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 2: been the hardest ones to like unbreak. 119 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 3: That's excellent. I mean, think about it. You've got you 120 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:08,279 Speaker 3: can't let a twelve year old run your life. That 121 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 3: twelve year old remembers what they said about me and 122 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 3: how I my nose. You got an eight year old 123 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 3: in your head talking about your nose too big. Oh, 124 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 3: you have to let go of yesterday's baggage, not being 125 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 3: able to let go of yesterday, not understanding that yesterday. Wow, 126 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:36,679 Speaker 3: it's a canceled check. It's history tomorrow and future tripping 127 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 3: is like a promisory note. It's a mystery. But what 128 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 3: we have on hand, the here and now. Being able 129 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 3: to stay in the here and now is a secret 130 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 3: to advancing and staying focused. 131 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: That's so true. 132 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 2: I love that check. Yeah, you can't use a check yesterday. 133 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love that saying. That's that's so good. 134 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 2: It's just so hard though, because I come from a 135 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 2: very how do I say this, Like I have to 136 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 2: like everything's on my shoulders, right, So it's hard for 137 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 2: me to not control things because I'm like I have to. 138 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 2: I have to run the ship. I have to do it. 139 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 2: And so when I don't know something that's going to happen, 140 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 2: it's like this, I get this weird, anxious feeling, and 141 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 2: it's hard for me just to be sane, especially in 142 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 2: today's world, like you know, just with everything going on, 143 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: and then all the pieces and the moving pieces and 144 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 2: then like all right, well, is this is this career 145 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 2: opportunity going to go through? Or is this idea going 146 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 2: to fail? Or is this going to go through? 147 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 1: Forward? 148 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 2: And it's like I can't control really any of it. 149 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 2: I can just do my part of it. But then 150 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, but then when it doesn't work out, then 151 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 2: I go to well then I fail, Like I just 152 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 2: go straight to like in or I failed. And then 153 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 2: that's where I'm like, what could I have done better? 154 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 2: How could I have controlled it better? And I think 155 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 2: that's like my problem, So help. 156 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 3: Are you ready and just do it? What we need 157 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 3: to be clear about is that your control freak. I'm 158 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 3: one of the best I've ever met. But I had 159 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 3: to learn over and over and over. I can only 160 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 3: control me. I can't control all so many aspects of 161 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,439 Speaker 3: my life and what's going on around me and with 162 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 3: other people thinking what they decide. But listen carefully, how 163 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 3: I feel about me is not based on any of that. 164 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 3: My self extreme, my self esteem, and my self worth 165 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 3: must not be based on external forces things around me, money, power, success, achievements. 166 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,839 Speaker 3: That's nice, But how I feel about me if I fail. 167 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 3: I hate failing. But I ain't gonna stop liking myself 168 00:09:55,840 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 3: because I'm not gonna beat myself up because it doesn't work. 169 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 3: It's ineffective. So once you get into simple because you've 170 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 3: heard it's all beating yourself up, that worrying doesn't work, 171 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 3: I'm telling you it's ineffective. Let's be clear. And it's 172 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 3: a habit and a pattern, so you know secretly in 173 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 3: your head that pattern has to be changed. And what 174 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 3: we teach people to do is begin to become so 175 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 3: sophisticated in becoming the world's greatest expert on you that 176 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 3: you just begin to see what works and what doesn't work. 177 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 3: What habits do I have that are building me up. 178 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 3: What habits do I have that are tearing me down? 179 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 3: Where relationships are building me up? And where relationships are 180 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 3: draining me? Do I have psychic vampires in my life? 181 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 3: You've got to be so sophisticated that you don't just 182 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 3: examine relationships when you're mad and upset and when it's 183 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 3: falling apart. You periodically review it's working, what's not working? 184 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 3: How are these people treating themselves? How are they treating me? 185 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 3: But I You'll have a vision of what you really 186 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 3: want to do, and you have this idea, and sometimes 187 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 3: it's going to work, and sometimes it's not going to work, 188 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 3: but you will never stop. You have never stopped, And 189 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 3: so you anticipate, You anticipate anxiety. Are you ready for this? 190 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 3: I need you to be so clear that excitement and 191 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 3: anxiety have some very similar characteristics, heart racing, sweating, you know, breathing, 192 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 3: impaired their moments. Think about this. We just met with 193 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 3: seven minutes ago. You're ready. Yeah, I guarantee you. There's 194 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,199 Speaker 3: some moments in your life, some of the most amazing 195 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 3: adventures you've ever been on, some of the most stupendous, 196 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 3: spectacular moments of your life. You're about to crap your 197 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 3: pants before they oh, for sure. And so what we 198 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 3: have to begin to understand is it makes sense to 199 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 3: be anxious. It makes sense to be able to be 200 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 3: so clear about anxiety is going to show up that 201 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 3: you predict it, you manage it, and you turn anxiety 202 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 3: into excitement. You turn fear, you turn fear into passion 203 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 3: because it's gonna come if you're human. And so here's 204 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:39,199 Speaker 3: here's the piece. Sometimes you're worried because fear and self 205 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 3: doubt attack. Fear and self doubt is the greatest enemy 206 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:49,079 Speaker 3: you have ever faced in your life. And you face 207 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 3: some enemies, but the fear inside the self doubt, I 208 00:12:55,760 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 3: mean you, the competition is between the ears. The greatest contest, 209 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 3: the greatest challenge in your life is can you master 210 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 3: your old man m That's what we're teach in that book. 211 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 2: What in your life have you had the hardest time 212 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 2: kind of picking yourself up from? Because obviously, you know 213 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 2: you're incredible with your words and your energy, and you 214 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 2: know you motivate other people and to succeed to their fullest, 215 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 2: Like where where do you kind of look at yourself 216 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 2: and go, Okay, I this is this This piece is 217 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 2: hard for me. I know you mentioned the control piece, 218 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 2: but like, because there's something else that's under there that's 219 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 2: like if you're having a moment. You know. 220 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 3: I'm a professional helper, right, I help people, and I 221 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 3: tell people if you can't you find out what what 222 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 3: you don't like in yourself, and if you don't like it, 223 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 3: change and if you can't do it by yourself, ask 224 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 3: for help. One of the toughest thing for me to 225 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 3: do in life is to ask for help. I tell 226 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 3: you this is how I was raised. My father and 227 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 3: mother were from Georgia, and it came from Georgia to 228 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 3: Detroit worked in the Big Three. 229 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 1: For Yeah, GM was my family. 230 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 3: I remember so clearly. I'm about eight nine years old 231 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 3: and I run out into the yard and my father's 232 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 3: in the garage doing something. I say, hey, can I help. 233 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 3: My father looks at me and say, boy, let me 234 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 3: tell you something. If you see me in a bear fight, 235 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 3: if you see me in a bear fight, help the bear. JK. 236 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 3: What is he telling me? You don't need help? A 237 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 3: man don't need there's nothing you do it yourself. And 238 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 3: so I was programmed at a tender young age not 239 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 3: to ask for help. The society tells me and not 240 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 3: to ask for help. And if you want to be 241 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 3: a successful, powerful woman, don't ask for help, go do 242 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 3: it yourself. One of the biggest challenges for me is 243 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 3: to let go of that that that whole idea that 244 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 3: I can figure it all out. I can figure it 245 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 3: out by myself, and to ask for advice, to ask 246 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 3: for help. You have to turn it into an art 247 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 3: form and see it as a strength instead of a weakness. 248 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 2: Well, I feel like every good mentor has a mentor, 249 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 2: you know, like you you learn from the people you 250 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 2: know in front of you and that have walked it too, 251 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 2: so or that are walking it. So that's why I 252 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: you know, that's why I think you know that everybody 253 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 2: is human, everyone has their emotions and feelings. So it's 254 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 2: like I always love to kind of dig under, you know, 255 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 2: the mentor's hood to go all right, who what do 256 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 2: you lean on when you have those moments? And you know, 257 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 2: obviously because it's like you again, you are so powerful 258 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 2: in your own right and you give so much, you know, 259 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 2: and help so many people, So that's got to be 260 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 2: you have to have a place to land too. 261 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I've had people special people, but I'm gonna 262 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 3: tell you I got married and this is how it 263 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 3: came to be. The woman I was dealing with my wife, 264 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 3: Shaliah Ilmahrten. We're we're just kicking it, you know, and 265 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 3: we both were clear with it. We're not looking to 266 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 3: do anything other than, you know, have people in our 267 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 3: lives that are meaningful and have in are coherent and 268 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 3: capable of making good decisions. Okay, one day she looks 269 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 3: at me and she says, and this is in the beginning. 270 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 3: She says, I've been watching you and you're there for everybody. 271 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 3: She says, who's there for you? This woman looks at 272 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 3: me and says, look, whether this works out or not, 273 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 3: I got you. 274 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah. 275 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 3: All of a sudden, she shifts from being somebody I'm 276 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 3: dating to somebody that I have to take this person 277 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 3: seriously because they see a need for everyone to have 278 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 3: someone to lean on, to trust, to believe in, you know. 279 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 3: And so she made a crystal clear that she had 280 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 3: my back and I desperately needed it and it wasn't 281 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 3: even aware of how much I needed it until she 282 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 3: looks at me dead now and say, I got you. 283 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 2: Oh, that's so sweet. I love that I'm gonna call 284 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 2: my fiance up night and I'm like, I got you, babe, 285 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 2: I got you. 286 00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 3: He'll be overwhelmed. 287 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, men feel like they have to handle take care 288 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 2: of everything, and. 289 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 3: Sometimes they're thinking that, you know, you don't have time 290 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 3: for them and don't want to be bothered because you are, 291 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 3: Like why, I'm a singer, I'm a producer, I'm a mom, 292 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,160 Speaker 3: I'm and I'm I'm a shaker and a mover and 293 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 3: my podcast everything and people and I've got all the 294 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,920 Speaker 3: no but I got time for you. That's what you're 295 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 3: going to tell me. 296 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that. 297 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,639 Speaker 2: So in your book, okay, so you talk about stop 298 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 2: being afraid of being afraid. You control the control the 299 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 2: controllables which you love that commit improve and maintain. Because 300 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 2: I love that as well. You basically now when you 301 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,880 Speaker 2: say learn to build better habits, making small improvements every 302 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 2: day as a secret to a completely transformed life, Because 303 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 2: isn't it, Like I read a quote one time it said, 304 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 2: two degrees of of you know, a kind of redirection 305 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 2: is like the start of everything, Like you just two degrees. 306 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 3: Look if you if you would improved by one percent 307 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 3: every day, think about it? If you just try to 308 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 3: improve because all this this overwhelming notion of that I've 309 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 3: got to be, Well, how do you get there? One 310 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 3: step at a time, by an inches a cinch? 311 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: Right? 312 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 3: And once you commit to being keeping it that simple 313 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 3: and trusting, see what you've got a factor in that trust. 314 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 3: You've got to trust and believe without question or pause, 315 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 3: that you're doing the best that you can with what 316 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 3: you've got, and that you're going to give everything you've got. Now, 317 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 3: this is hard. Win, lose or draw. When I say 318 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 3: give one hundred percent of the time, and people hear 319 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 3: me say when they get it. When I say win, lose, 320 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,159 Speaker 3: or draw, they get confused. 321 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 2: I get the losing part because for me, I look 322 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 2: at a loss as a lesson. 323 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,160 Speaker 3: Yes, it's crucial. 324 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,439 Speaker 2: But the other one, though, that's where I'm stuck. 325 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 3: Look, some things are gonna work, and they're gonna work fabulous. 326 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 3: Sometimes it's gonna be it almost worked. Parts of it 327 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:08,120 Speaker 3: worked boom boom boom. So even if it's like it 328 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,679 Speaker 3: never reached what the dream sequence and where you wanted 329 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 3: it to go, did it improve? Yes? Is it better 330 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 3: than what it what it was when I got it? 331 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 3: Did I make it a little bit better? Yes? You did, 332 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,400 Speaker 3: and I love what you just said. I mean, there 333 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 3: are lessons and losings. If you're afraid to fail, you're 334 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 3: afraid to succeed. 335 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,359 Speaker 1: M m m hm. 336 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 2: The controlling though, that the other the other piece that 337 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 2: you said about controlling the controllables helped me with that one. 338 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 2: Give me something with that. That's that's the that's the 339 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 2: tip in that in the book. 340 00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:03,360 Speaker 3: For that, I mean, just think about it. Imagine you're 341 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 3: talking to Tom Brady as he wrote the forward in 342 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 3: the book, and I'm grateful forever for his reinforcement and encouragement. 343 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 3: Imagine a nineteen year old Tom Brady, not a superstar, 344 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 3: not the goat, and not people love or hate, but 345 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 3: just a kid who's trying to figure out his next move. 346 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 3: And he's trying to make his next move his best move, 347 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 3: and he's thinking about leaving, he's thinking about changing the 348 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,680 Speaker 3: venue that he's in. And he says, I don't think 349 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 3: the coach is like me. I don't think the coaches 350 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 3: believe in me. I want to be the starter and 351 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 3: I have to tell him, Son, you came into my 352 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,439 Speaker 3: office because you saw what I did with Desmond Howard 353 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 3: and some other folks, and I need you to be 354 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 3: real clear, I can't get you to be the starter, 355 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 3: the starting quarterback at this school. But I can get 356 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:10,400 Speaker 3: you to believe, without questioning or pause, that if anyone's 357 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 3: qualified to do it, it's you. And what I'm asking 358 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 3: you to do is understand. You can't control how old 359 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:20,920 Speaker 3: is your coach, Oh, forty fifty five years old. I say, 360 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 3: what's the likelihood of your coach changing zero? So what 361 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 3: can you change? I can change how I react, how 362 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 3: I respond. You can control what myself. I can't control 363 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 3: how everybody else is operating. I can control how the coach, 364 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 3: what the coaches are thinking. What I can control is 365 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 3: that they'll never question my commitment. They'll always see me 366 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 3: to give percent of the time, win, lose a draw. 367 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 3: If they don't start me and I don't fall apart. 368 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 3: I'm sending you a message. You can't break me. Eleanor Roosevelt. 369 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 3: Eleanor Roosevelt says, no one can make you feel inferior 370 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 3: without your permission. So I control how I see me. 371 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,400 Speaker 3: I control how I feel about me. It takes us 372 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 3: back to my self worth and self esteem is not 373 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 3: based on what anyone else thinks. I'm in control of 374 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 3: at least one thing in my life, and that's my mind. 375 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 3: That's my heart. You can't measure my heart. You can't 376 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 3: measure my mind. 377 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: Amen. Did you also give Tom dating advice too? 378 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,479 Speaker 2: Or was it just for it sports playing? 379 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: He's a data model. 380 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 3: This book is not about me, it's not about Tom Brady, 381 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 3: it's not about the Superstars. Is about human beings trying 382 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 3: to get the absolute most out of themselves. And everyone's 383 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 3: running around now. I want to be the best version 384 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,719 Speaker 3: of myself. How do you do that by becoming the 385 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 3: world's greatest expert on you, by becoming your own best friend. 386 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 3: You've got friends that are amazing. I need you to 387 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 3: be the best friend you have. 388 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 2: I mean, yes, And there's something where when I hear 389 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:25,439 Speaker 2: you talking, I'm like, I have a mental block with 390 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 2: that piece. When with one of my aspects of work 391 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 2: is when I'm auditioning for a show and I get 392 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 2: the breakdown, I immediately go, I'm not right for this. 393 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,879 Speaker 2: I immediately say I am not right for it, and 394 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 2: I essentially take my name off the list. 395 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: But I still audition. 396 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 2: But I sit there and I'm like, I'm not giving 397 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 2: it probably my all because I've already written myself off 398 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 2: that I can't do it, and then the second piece 399 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,679 Speaker 2: is like, well why am I doing this? And then 400 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 2: that makes me want to cry because I'm like if 401 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,000 Speaker 2: I just believed in myself that I could do it. 402 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 2: But then I'm like, well, why do I not believe 403 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 2: that I can't do it? Because I can do it? 404 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 2: And then I just had this like mental warfare with myself, 405 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 2: and then I'm in my mind, I'm like, well, I'm 406 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,160 Speaker 2: just going to show my agents and you know, managers 407 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 2: that I still want to put things on self tape 408 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 2: and make them happy. So I'm just going to send 409 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 2: in a mediocre, frickin' tape that's really not as good 410 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 2: as it should be. And I know that, but I'm 411 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 2: gonna send it in any ways. Help me, help help me, 412 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,160 Speaker 2: please help help A go from Detroit out. 413 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 3: Think about it. Let's let's look at there are a 414 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 3: lot of reasons you do it now, It's a habit, 415 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 3: it's what you do. 416 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,200 Speaker 2: Is I've been doing it for at least five years, 417 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 2: Like saying I can't do it since I lost a 418 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 2: really big role, I've like it was like it kind 419 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 2: of just shot me and I was like, man, I 420 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 2: can't do. 421 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 3: It so, which is also a way that you protect 422 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,880 Speaker 3: your ego by anticipating, well, I'm not going to get 423 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 3: it anyway. So if if it doesn't work, I'm okay, No, 424 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,439 Speaker 3: this is where we're going to go. We're gonna go 425 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,159 Speaker 3: to a space where I'm gonna give you the best 426 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,639 Speaker 3: I've got, win, lose, or draw. That means even if 427 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 3: you don't like me, I like myself so much food 428 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,920 Speaker 3: that nothing you can do, and I'm going to give 429 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 3: you all I've got. And what you have to be 430 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 3: willing to do is catch yourself when that thought shows up. 431 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 3: That thought is predictable, now therefore manageable. You know, that's 432 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 3: a pattern. You know, that's your self talk, negative self talk. 433 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 3: It's predictable. So now instead of saying saying, you know, well, 434 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,479 Speaker 3: I'm not good enough for this, and you say, oh, 435 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 3: you catch yourself, I'm doing it again, and instead of 436 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 3: being mad, you laugh, say, oh, I'm doing this crap again. 437 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,199 Speaker 3: I told myself I'm gonna catch myself next time, and 438 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,360 Speaker 3: I did, and I refuse and I reject and I'm 439 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 3: going to take it to the next though, not only 440 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 3: did I automatically think, well, I'm not good enough of 441 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 3: this part. I can't do this. I caught myself and 442 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 3: I laughed because it's a pattern and it's a habit 443 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:18,679 Speaker 3: and it's bs. I'm just something trying to protect my ego. 444 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 3: I'm gonna walk in here, I'm gonna kick button. I'm 445 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,879 Speaker 3: gonna take names and them foods. If they don't have me, 446 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 3: they stupid and I don't want to work with stupid people. 447 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: I'm channeling and all of it. 448 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm just gonna like my next audition when this 449 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 2: baby comes out, I'm gonna I'm gonna channel all of that. 450 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 2: I'm gonna re listen to this episode and then i'm 451 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 2: gonna read your books Stay Sane and Insane World, and 452 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,199 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get the part, and then i'm gonna call 453 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 2: you up and be like, we did it. 454 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: Look, we did it. 455 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:51,119 Speaker 3: You are prying. I mean, think about this podcast. What's 456 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:58,960 Speaker 3: the name of your podcast? Chill out, Calm yourself down. 457 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 3: But sometimes you're a great teacher, but you don't listen 458 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 3: to your own lessons. Just listen to yourself. Trust yourself, 459 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 3: trust the instincts that say, you know, I'm in this 460 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 3: business because I love it and I love doing it. 461 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 3: And I'm going to keep loving it, and you don't 462 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 3: let anyone turn that off. You got into this for 463 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 3: a reason, not so that you can sit up and ponder. 464 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,360 Speaker 3: Am I good enough? That's the chat. Oh my god, 465 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 3: don't tell nobody told you this. That's the twelve thirteen 466 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 3: year old running your life again. I need you to 467 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 3: here's it. You ready for? This is your session. I 468 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 3: need you to convince the twelve thirteen year old that 469 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:53,080 Speaker 3: you love her, win, lose or drawn, no matter what happens. 470 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 3: You've got to convince her that if it doesn't work out, 471 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 3: you're not gonna dog her. You're not gonna beat her up. 472 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 3: You're gonna say hey with it. Without this part, you 473 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 3: never have to worry about me loving me. That's all 474 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 3: we want from you, for to you to tap into 475 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 3: that whole notion in the book that says the mission 476 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 3: is to prioritize self love and self acceptance. You're one 477 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 3: of the best friends anyone could have, but your suspect 478 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 3: when it comes. 479 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 2: To you, Greg, I could talk to you all day. 480 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 2: I love you. I want everyone to get your books. 481 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 2: Stay sane in the saying world, how to control the 482 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,160 Speaker 2: controllables and thrive thank you so much for coming on 483 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 2: wind Down, and I just I hope to run into 484 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 2: you in Detroit. When I see you make it so okay, 485 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 2: I would love that so much. It's so good to 486 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 2: see you. Thank you so much. 487 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 3: Thank you for the opportunity to hang out with you. 488 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 1: It was all my pleasure. Thank you so much.