Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, you have a baby with you?
Speaker 2: Oh, the baby is in the house.
Speaker 3: I have Bernice on my lap because we have a
Speaker 3: workman in the house, and she I think he hates
Speaker 3: men pretty much. I don't know where she got that from.
Speaker 1: What a surprise, Like mother, like daughter.
Speaker 3: No, I don't hate men. Might not be saying that
Speaker 3: it's affecting my ability to get penetration.
Speaker 1: Chelsea loves men in all the senses.
Speaker 3: I do love men.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 3: I'm having actually a very good time with some men.
Speaker 1: I'm glad about that for you.
Speaker 3: I have a lot of flirtations going on at home
Speaker 3: abroad anyway, Doug is arriving, Casey is driving him up
Speaker 3: on Thursday he arrives. Doug is so fucking I already
Speaker 3: talked about Doug. I don't want to be one of
Speaker 3: those people who bangs on about my dogs, but he
Speaker 3: is going to be. I'm gonna be really, it's gonna
Speaker 3: ruffle my feathers. Because this means basically, Bernice has an AirTag,
Speaker 3: like an Apple AirTag on her so I can just
Speaker 3: let her go out and then I go find her.
Speaker 3: You know, when I feel like it's ten minutes later, out, Yeah,
Speaker 3: because she doesn't go anywhere. She just like peas and
Speaker 3: then looks at the house and then looks at the trees.
Speaker 3: But Doug is gonna be a fucking maniac, like he
Speaker 3: is going and I already get stopped by Bernie's you know,
Speaker 3: it was so cute. There was like this group of
Speaker 3: like eight twenty five year old guys renting a house
Speaker 3: down the street from me, and when I was walking
Speaker 3: with her, they were like, oh my god, look at
Speaker 3: that little dog bear and they were and I was like,
Speaker 3: it's so nice when men that age love dogs and
Speaker 3: noticed a dog, like they all stopped and they all
Speaker 3: pet her. I was like, you guys are so cute. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it was really sweet. But I get so much attention
Speaker 3: from Bernice. I'm like, oh, Doug is going to be
Speaker 3: a nightmare because everyone's gonna stop us about this guy.
Speaker 3: I mean, he is too good looking.
Speaker 1: He is gonna have all the energy. And Bernie has
Speaker 1: a personality a bit like a Xanax.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, she has taken azanax. You probably took one
Speaker 3: of mine. And but also Doug is gonna have to
Speaker 3: because he's a puppy and he's eight months old and
Speaker 3: this is going to be a new house and he's
Speaker 3: gonna be have driven with Casey. He's been shuffled around
Speaker 3: a bit, you know, to try to get him up here.
Speaker 3: He's been with my Bell. She's tried to, you know,
Speaker 3: hypnotize him. I'm sure, but he he's going to have
Speaker 3: to go out a lot, and that is not my
Speaker 3: strong suit taking the dogs out. Like I just at
Speaker 3: some point last season, I just started putting peepats out
Speaker 3: on the balcony and let them just go pee out there.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, I'm like living in a
Speaker 3: trailer park basically. But yeah, I'm really excited about my
Speaker 3: new family. It's just my dream dog. It's arrived. He's
Speaker 3: my baby. I love him. I had a great ski
Speaker 3: day yesterday. I'm about to go hop off of this
Speaker 3: after we're done and go skiing again. And I am
Speaker 3: just really really and I've been writing my book and
Speaker 3: it's finally coming together. I got so much work done
Speaker 3: with my ski buddy, Kelly. Her daughters are twins and
Speaker 3: Katie and Jesse. They basically move in with me for
Speaker 3: winter when I move up here. They call me Dad.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: And Jesse and I had like a work study program
Speaker 3: this weekend and I got more writing done. I wrote
Speaker 3: for six straight hours and organized everything. I think this book.
Speaker 3: When I am ready to announce the title and the
Speaker 3: release date of the book, people are going to be
Speaker 3: really I think this is going to be really something
Speaker 3: special that is fantastic.
Speaker 1: Now, Okay, so your writing process are you like, I
Speaker 1: gotta wait for inspiration. I gotta sit down see if
Speaker 1: the inspiration comes.
Speaker 3: No, I just have to a lot time and sit
Speaker 3: down and just start writing, because the only way to
Speaker 3: keep writing is to start writing.
Speaker 1: You just have to start.
Speaker 3: And then, like I was writing this book, but there
Speaker 3: was like a joyfulness missing in the writing of the book.
Speaker 3: The way I lived my life wasn't coming through the page.
Speaker 3: And the page is about how to live this joyful
Speaker 3: experience of life. And so I don't know what happened,
Speaker 3: but something shifted. Actually, I've been working with that new
Speaker 3: therapist and I think she shifted some stology in me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because we do these kind of exercises and she's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we're gonna get rid of that old stuff, like let's
Speaker 3: move into this new stuff that you want. And yeah,
Speaker 3: so I'm yeah, I feel good. Yeah, you know how
Speaker 3: much I love Whistler. It's just I never want to leave.
Speaker 1: And you're so restored there, like you you are getting
Speaker 1: positive vibes and you're able to put out positive vibes.
Speaker 1: But when you're like exhausted, you just won't have anything
Speaker 1: to give, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, an empty vessel. So anyway, OK, So as
Speaker 3: a great follow up to last week's episode, we have
Speaker 3: the other half of Sam Jay which is called Yah Yah.
Speaker 1: I actually have a follow up from Sam's episode from
Speaker 1: one of our people who wrote in, and it's pretty
Speaker 1: juicy Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Oh oh oh is it about ya ya?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, but it is about cheating. And oh someone
Speaker 1: had written in about her sister's husband was running around
Speaker 1: and had this work bestie that he had spent the
Speaker 1: night with, but he said they were just friends sort
Speaker 1: of thing. It was a female work bestie. Well Elle
Speaker 1: wrote in with a follow up. She said, Hi, there,
Speaker 1: wanted to provide an update on my sister in law
Speaker 1: and her husband regarding his inappropriate relationship with his coworker.
Speaker 1: I appreciated all your feedback and advice because it definitely
Speaker 1: validated the way I felt. So update. It all came
Speaker 1: out a two year affair with the girl plus sex
Speaker 1: worker and a few other casual one night stands here
Speaker 1: and there, and guess what, My sister in law has
Speaker 1: yet to leave despite her last straw being broken. He's
Speaker 1: totally playing the victim, and I don't think understands her
Speaker 1: need to heal. He's in his own sex therapy and
Speaker 1: they're indiscernment counseling, And at first we were all very
Speaker 1: emotional about it, but as of lately, we've learned that
Speaker 1: she does need to step away on her own and
Speaker 1: deal with this in her own way. Even if it
Speaker 1: does waste more time for her, She's only going to
Speaker 1: be ready when she's ready. It sucks, it hurts, but
Speaker 1: it's their experience, even though I'm hoping she finally does
Speaker 1: gain this self worth to leave. Thanks again, Elle. Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, wow, so update not great for sister in law.
Speaker 3: But now we know therapy. It's so hard for me
Speaker 3: to take that seriously, even though I know it's a
Speaker 3: real thing. You know, it's just like sex therapy. Really,
Speaker 3: you can't keep your fucking dick in your pants. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 3: I don't know what's wrong with people. I know, yeh,
Speaker 3: control yourself, I know.
Speaker 1: And this is like sociopath behavior, like I know many
Speaker 1: of that. Gross. You can't fix that. You can't fix that.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, anyway, let's move on to Yah Yah. I
Speaker 3: don't think she needs any introduction. You're going to understand
Speaker 3: what I'm talking about when you listen to this interview,
Speaker 3: because this girl is one hot potato I would like
Speaker 3: to introduce the world to. If you don't know of
Speaker 3: her yet, you will find out about her at some point.
Speaker 3: We spoke about her in her absence when I had
Speaker 3: Sam Jay on the podcast, right, Catherine, we talked about
Speaker 3: her significant other, who is very, very significant. Her name
Speaker 3: is Yaya and she is a fucking she is trouble
Speaker 3: with a capital fucking tea. Okay, and now here she is.
Speaker 3: She's sitting across from me. We're in New York City.
Speaker 3: Welcome to New York City. You live here?
Speaker 2: Thank you? Yes, I do live here.
Speaker 3: So actually you should say to me, well, welcome to
Speaker 3: New York Tell thank you welcome.
Speaker 2: I would have welcomed you if I knew you were here.
Speaker 3: Thank you, yah Yah. That's a dig, because that's a
Speaker 3: dig because she just said, oh, how long you here for?
Speaker 3: It would have been nice to know. And I said
Speaker 3: before we got on air, I'm sitting right across from you,
Speaker 3: so obviously this is you knowing anyway, that is true,
Speaker 3: But this is the kind of shit I'm dealing with
Speaker 3: with this woman. And I met Yah Yah. Well I
Speaker 3: met you like at the Montreal Comedy Festival. I think
Speaker 3: was the first time I met you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like three years ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And what stood out with her eyelashes because they
Speaker 3: and her nails are equally there the same length. Her
Speaker 3: eyelashes you could use, as you know, the flippers when
Speaker 3: you go in swimming, like that is true, you could
Speaker 3: swim with those eyelashes and her nails. So when I
Speaker 3: first met her, I was like, oh, this woman is
Speaker 3: trouble and I should just, you know, watch myself. And
Speaker 3: I wasn't wrong. My instincts were right. And then she
Speaker 3: came to Myorca with a whole group. We had like
Speaker 3: a comedy week in my Orca with Sam and Fortune
Speaker 3: and Jack's and Jamie Greenberg and a bunch of people,
Speaker 3: and that was really fun. And then we really bonded
Speaker 3: and you guys were planning on kind of leaving the
Speaker 3: whole time that you were there in case we had
Speaker 3: an out right explain that.
Speaker 5: Please, Well, I mean it is kind of it's kind
Speaker 5: of scary, you going on vacation with people you don't know.
Speaker 2: So we had it out.
Speaker 5: We had an option to out if we didn't want
Speaker 5: to be there anymore, but we ended up liking you.
Speaker 3: But you said scary, you're leaving out the white part.
Speaker 2: Yes, right, well it was a group of whites. I mean,
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 5: But also it is kind of intimidating when you're the
Speaker 5: only blacks there. You don't know what's gonna happen. So
Speaker 5: I didn't know if our lives are going to be
Speaker 5: in danger. And also you kept trying to take me hiking.
Speaker 5: Why the fuck did you keep trying to take me hiking?
Speaker 3: Because it's good exercise. It's not everything that I was suggesting.
Speaker 3: We're activities that were going to enhance enhance your life.
Speaker 3: You were even trying to make Sam go hiking with you.
Speaker 5: If you recall, yeah, we do together because I wanted
Speaker 5: to do it together.
Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna go wid out through alone.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, but I'm in then almost a number, like
Speaker 3: I'm a safety number. You think I'm gonna be the one.
Speaker 5: No, it was like six against two, so it was
Speaker 5: like we had to I had to keep the number.
Speaker 3: I had to branch off from the white people. And
Speaker 3: you were also you would have go into the water
Speaker 3: with me at night. You wouldn't get.
Speaker 2: Into a I was kind of spooky.
Speaker 5: Okay, we'll explain that you can't swim at night. That's wild.
Speaker 3: Why not.
Speaker 2: It's the ocean and I'm black.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 5: I'm not getting in a boat with you at night.
Speaker 5: That doesn't make sen to me. I'm not doing it that.
Speaker 5: This didn't make That didn't add up.
Speaker 3: But you let Sam get in a boat with me.
Speaker 5: I was very fearful of that and I told her
Speaker 5: not to, but you core host her.
Speaker 2: In to doing that. She she you influenced her all week.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh really, Yeah, okay, okay, this is another Yeah,
Speaker 3: this is another thing I forgot to mention when Sam
Speaker 3: was on. Sam shows up in my Orca and asks
Speaker 3: what drugs I have, And of course I have some,
Speaker 3: but I was running low because I was on my
Speaker 3: third week in Mayorca, and I had twenty different people
Speaker 3: through my house before this group came.
Speaker 2: So this was the the best group.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, you were a great group. I can't say
Speaker 3: who the best group was. Okay, No, we know who. Okay.
Speaker 3: Well everyone thinks they're the best group, and that's fine
Speaker 3: with me. I would never even think about trying to
Speaker 3: be the best group. Okay. But Sam wanted demanded drugs,
Speaker 3: she needed them, and then when I gave her what
Speaker 3: I had, it wasn't Yeah. Yeah, goes, look at you,
Speaker 3: Look at you influencing my boo. You did because she
Speaker 3: got really fucked up. No, I'm a I am a supplier.
Speaker 3: I'm a hostess. You were Frank Lucas of my Orca.
Speaker 3: That's who you are. You are Frank Lucas my Orca.
Speaker 3: I was being a very good hostess. And every time
Speaker 3: Sam went a little bit off the rails, which is
Speaker 3: almost every day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well know, you're a great hostess. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Yah Yah would look
Speaker 3: at me and try and lay blame on me.
Speaker 5: No, you were great hostess. You were just a pusher,
Speaker 5: but you are a great right.
Speaker 3: I do want people to do drugs. I do like that,
Speaker 3: you know. I just feel like so many people have
Speaker 3: untapped resources and creativity within them that once they do
Speaker 3: the right drug that they find the right thing. And
Speaker 3: it's not for everybody. You know, drugs are not for everybody.
Speaker 3: I want to say that as a medical professional on
Speaker 3: this on this what that's why? Is that funny?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, I trust you.
Speaker 3: Okay, as a medical professional on this podcast, I would
Speaker 3: like to say that drugs are not for everyone, but
Speaker 3: they are for me.
Speaker 2: Okay, all drugs aren't for me.
Speaker 3: And you don't like, Oh you know what I loved?
Speaker 3: Tell us this story. This is a good drug story.
Speaker 3: Would you mind telling it? The one where you saw
Speaker 3: the video of yourself? Oh wow, we're going Well, we
Speaker 3: don't have to. We can go to a different area
Speaker 3: if you're not comfortable.
Speaker 5: Talking about it with that. No, I just saw myself.
Speaker 5: Me and my friends used to like in our early twenties.
Speaker 5: It's a long time ago, so let's put this on
Speaker 5: the record. We would recreationally pop up pill or two.
Speaker 3: So what's the drug called though.
Speaker 2: Flex areal? Flexireo was my drug choice.
Speaker 3: Oh, I thought it was something else. Oh that's like
Speaker 3: a muscle relaxer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like flexireal.
Speaker 3: But it was like, yeah, you can't take that and
Speaker 3: go out.
Speaker 5: No, but we were drinking too, and I think some
Speaker 5: of this stuff was opioid based.
Speaker 2: I think flexieral is opioid based.
Speaker 5: So like when I saw a video of like, I
Speaker 5: thought I was just chilling and having a good time
Speaker 5: and having fun. But then my friends played a video
Speaker 5: back of me and I was not off at the table,
Speaker 5: and it was just like, that's what that Wasn't you.
Speaker 3: Thought you were crushing it. You were out thinking you
Speaker 3: had a blast. You're like, last night was fun. It like,
Speaker 3: you need to see a video of yourself if you
Speaker 3: think you were having it. And it was cute.
Speaker 5: So I was just like, I want to look cute
Speaker 5: at all times, so when I did look cute, I
Speaker 5: couldn't do it.
Speaker 3: You look really cute right now?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 3: Shoot later, I want to talk about your relationship with Sam.
Speaker 2: Went about it.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're from Atlanta, Yes I am. Okay, you
Speaker 3: should be on the Real Housewives of something.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 5: They tried to get me on the Real house Oh
Speaker 5: my god, they did. Yeah at least was like eons ago,
Speaker 5: and why did you fucking do that?
Speaker 2: I didn't have money like that, so I just felt
Speaker 2: like it would just been too fraudulent.
Speaker 3: Too.
Speaker 5: Fargs like I owned a business. It was just like
Speaker 5: it wasn't lucrative, but you would have gotten down to business.
Speaker 2: With the Yeah, I would have.
Speaker 3: And I think that's what the world wants to see,
Speaker 3: because if you were on one of the housewife franchises,
Speaker 3: I would watch that fucking show, would you, Yeah, because
Speaker 3: I know what would go down. I saw the video
Speaker 3: stories if Sam Sam Jay's on tour right now? Yeah,
Speaker 3: yeah's on tour with her, which means she is calling
Speaker 3: people out in the audience, screaming and yelling at anybody.
Speaker 3: What was the last incident that happened when you had
Speaker 3: to remove one of the.
Speaker 5: I didn't remove her, Security removed her. She was being
Speaker 5: a nuisance. She was being loud and belligerent and drunk,
Speaker 5: and I just asked her to be quiet, and she
Speaker 5: didn't want to listen, so she had to get out
Speaker 5: of here.
Speaker 3: And then did what did she say to you? Didn't
Speaker 3: she say something to you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: She was like some lady, some black lady told me
Speaker 2: to be quiet. I just walked about. It was me.
Speaker 5: It was me, girl, I told you to shut the
Speaker 5: fuck up. It was me, shut the fuck up. And
Speaker 5: she was like, I can't believe you said that, but
Speaker 5: I had asked her twice. The first time, I was
Speaker 5: very pleasant and I was excuse me, ma'am. Can you
Speaker 5: bring it down a little bit? Like she was on
Speaker 5: her phone, she was watching a basket a baseball game.
Speaker 3: It was just wild. I fucking hate that so much.
Speaker 3: I hate that so much.
Speaker 5: It's just rude because she was disturbing the people around her.
Speaker 5: Like literally, when she got kicked out, she was with
Speaker 5: about twenty people. Nobody gave a fuck because they wanted
Speaker 5: her to leave too, but they didn't know how because
Speaker 5: she was ahead of HR, so they felt like their jobs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the head exactly, ironic. She was the worst.
Speaker 3: So yeah, okay, So bring us back to your relationship
Speaker 3: with Sam, because you guys have been together for a
Speaker 3: long time. Yeah, and we're gonna be giving relationship advice
Speaker 3: on this show, okay, potentially in this episode. So I
Speaker 3: want you to walk us through the status of your
Speaker 3: relationship over the years, because it's been You've had turbulent
Speaker 3: times and Sam loves when I bring up her cheating,
Speaker 3: So we can talk about that, or we could talk
Speaker 3: about just the genesis.
Speaker 2: Well, what do you want to start with? In the beginning.
Speaker 3: Start at the beginning, because it's a beautiful love story,
Speaker 3: and I think it's it gives other people, you know,
Speaker 3: I think other people probably have similar relationships where they
Speaker 3: love someone and then they're not together, and then give
Speaker 3: them hope to come back together.
Speaker 2: That's true. I think our versions are kind of different
Speaker 2: from each other.
Speaker 3: No, they're definitely different, because the two of you couldn't
Speaker 3: be more office.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think our versions of the story is different.
Speaker 5: But we met in Atlanta, she says. I met her
Speaker 5: in the club, but I don't remember meeting her because
Speaker 5: our friends knew each other. So on the way home,
Speaker 5: their car broke down in front of my house. So
Speaker 5: I saw them and they looked hot and thirsty because
Speaker 5: they would trying to change a tire. So I just
Speaker 5: asked if they needed help, if they wanted to sit
Speaker 5: inside before the tow truck came.
Speaker 3: And that's how its very nice of you, Yaya. It
Speaker 3: must have been before nine pm when you did that.
Speaker 2: Actually it was probably around one am. Oh oh, so so.
Speaker 3: It must have been another flips to do and all
Speaker 3: that happens.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so we eventually went out on a date.
Speaker 5: Did she tell you the first time we went out
Speaker 5: a date, well, the first time I went out a date,
Speaker 5: Sam left her.
Speaker 2: She left her money.
Speaker 5: Apparently she didn't have any money, so I had to
Speaker 5: I left my wallet because I knew I wasn't paying.
Speaker 3: Of course not. I mean, no, no, you're not gonna pay.
Speaker 5: Hello, that's what I thought too, But I ended up
Speaker 5: having to pay because Sam couldn't buy me my slice
Speaker 5: of pizza. Oh, so I had to call my friend like, hey,
Speaker 5: can you go to my house and go get my
Speaker 5: wallet and bring my wallet to me?
Speaker 2: So he was like, aren't you on a date?
Speaker 5: And I'm like, yeah, bitch, I am on a date,
Speaker 5: but come bring me my wallet. So from that day
Speaker 5: for it, he didn't like Sam at all.
Speaker 3: He hated or would.
Speaker 2: I, But I loved her. She was so cool.
Speaker 3: But I'm surprised that you were okay with that because
Speaker 3: that doesn't seem like something you're down with.
Speaker 2: It's not.
Speaker 5: But she was so charismatic, she was so funny, she
Speaker 5: was so sweet.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. She just won me over.
Speaker 3: And then what happened. She fucked me right after the pizza.
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 3: So that's like, okay, anyone who's listening that would be like, Oh,
Speaker 3: I had a date who didn't have any money, and
Speaker 3: then the next thing you do is go home to
Speaker 3: fuck that person.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I knew if she was broke, then
Speaker 5: she probably had some good, good moves.
Speaker 3: Well, because I remember you guys having sex on my terrorists.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: We did not have.
Speaker 3: We did not.
Speaker 2: We did not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they did did. They were up every night till
Speaker 3: five am. We were talking and talking and then I yeah,
Speaker 3: and then when y'all, y'all wants it, she needs to
Speaker 3: get it right away, and then she goes.
Speaker 2: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Speaker 2: But we did not have. Till you hears, we did
Speaker 2: not have.
Speaker 5: They had sex in their bedroom. Yeah, you probably the terrorists.
Speaker 5: I'm sure I probably would have, but we did not.
Speaker 5: That would have been a good memory, though. But your
Speaker 5: window was like right there, yeah exactly. Can you imagine.
Speaker 3: I would have been like, hey, guys, can keep it down,
Speaker 3: can you keep it down please? Okay, So then you
Speaker 3: guys were together for how like a period of time?
Speaker 5: Yeah, we were together for a minute, and then I
Speaker 5: did some shady shit.
Speaker 3: This is this SPAN's like seventeen years, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: seventeen there's a relationship.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we were young. So at the time Sam
Speaker 5: says we were together. I say we weren't together. We
Speaker 5: were dating other people. But she says that we were exclusive.
Speaker 5: So this is where it gets cloudy. But also this
Speaker 5: was like seventeen sixteen years ago. So I say that
Speaker 5: we were freely dating other people. She says that we
Speaker 5: were committed and I dated someone else and then she
Speaker 5: found out about it, and then so we stopped talking.
Speaker 5: And then I started, well, we were always friends about
Speaker 5: this process, so it was like she really, we really
Speaker 5: didn't stop talking. We just stopped talking in that capacity.
Speaker 5: So then she started dating other people.
Speaker 3: But what was that like wasn't that tinged with like
Speaker 3: jealousy and feelings?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 5: Because every time she started dating someone that she would
Speaker 5: go out on dates and now we didn't care. But
Speaker 5: then when she would start like repeating the dates, it
Speaker 5: was like, that's a problem. You're going out with the
Speaker 5: same person again. So then I would have to break
Speaker 5: that up. So then it was just a lot of
Speaker 5: back and forth. It was a lot of that you
Speaker 5: break that up. Oh, I would just go see her
Speaker 5: fuck that up. She cut me off completely cold turkey
Speaker 5: because she said I was toxic, and then she ran
Speaker 5: off and got married and blocked me from everything.
Speaker 3: Why did she think you were toxic?
Speaker 5: I was in Atlanta, I was in black Gay Mecca,
Speaker 5: so I was outside.
Speaker 2: Okay. Also I had money, so it was It's just
Speaker 2: like I was in a free for all. So it
Speaker 2: was fun. I was having fun.
Speaker 5: And there's a lot of pussy, not a lot of
Speaker 5: well no, not a lot of pussy.
Speaker 4: But I was.
Speaker 3: I bet you what about guys? Were you feeling around
Speaker 3: with guys at all? Just no, I'm you've been done
Speaker 3: with men for a long time. Yeah, well yeah I
Speaker 3: was done with men.
Speaker 1: Yeah, basically I want I'm done.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you broke up and then what what drew
Speaker 3: you back together?
Speaker 5: She got married fast forward, like a year or two later,
Speaker 5: after she's been buried for Yeah. We were still friends though,
Speaker 5: but I did not pursue her. She didn't pursue me.
Speaker 5: She was really into her marriage, and so I was like, Okay,
Speaker 5: if this is where you want to go, girl, that's fine.
Speaker 3: But you know, were devastated.
Speaker 5: I was devastated, but I always knew that we were
Speaker 5: going to be together, so I wasn't really pressed.
Speaker 3: You really believe that even though she was married to
Speaker 3: someone else. Yes, because a normal person yah yah when
Speaker 3: that happens when the other person gets married, would be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I guess our relationship is over.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't think that at all.
Speaker 5: And now that I'm watching this show she put me
Speaker 5: onto this show what is called scandal. Now that I'm
Speaker 5: watching Scandal, I kind of understand it because I always
Speaker 5: knew it was just like that's my person.
Speaker 2: Like I knew she was being crazy.
Speaker 5: I knew she was being wild, and I also knew
Speaker 5: I was getting my karma back from the food I
Speaker 5: was doing. And also when she wanted to commit and
Speaker 5: settle down, I told her no, who was so like, Okay,
Speaker 5: I get it, but play this out. You know this
Speaker 5: is not gonna work. So I'll let you do this
Speaker 5: and be dumb and then when you're ready, come home.
Speaker 5: And that's what happened. Because she was in New York.
Speaker 5: She ended up doing New York Comedy Festival. And I
Speaker 5: was in New York at the same time doing Victoria's
Speaker 5: Secret Fashion doing Victoria's Secret and New York Fashion Week,
Speaker 5: so we were in New York at the same time.
Speaker 5: So I hit her up and I was like, hey,
Speaker 5: do you want to grab a drink so we could
Speaker 5: see each other and talk because we haven't spoken really
Speaker 5: since she had gotten married. And we met at the
Speaker 5: seller a matter of fact, and I was like in
Speaker 5: twenty and fifteen or twenty fourteen, and we talked at
Speaker 5: the seller and after we talked, I was like.
Speaker 2: She coming home. So I knew she was coming home.
Speaker 3: That's cute. That's a cute story. It's a hot mess
Speaker 3: of a story.
Speaker 2: Oh it is. It's like it's Ghetto's Hill. But there's
Speaker 2: a lot of ups and down. That's a lot of Yeah,
Speaker 2: but we're we've made it through and now we're engaged.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when's the wedding going to because I really
Speaker 3: would like to not miss that.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna come to the wedding?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna come to the wedding. And
Speaker 3: you want me to come to the wedding.
Speaker 2: You seem like you're a good time. Oh yeah, I heard.
Speaker 3: Seem like I'm a good time. You've hung out with me,
Speaker 3: I am a good that is true.
Speaker 5: But no, I'm saying like in those kind of settings
Speaker 5: because somebody was telling me. I think it was the
Speaker 5: guy he was really really sweet. He was telling me
Speaker 5: that you were at Bruce Springsting's concert and you were
Speaker 5: like making drinks at the after party.
Speaker 2: You became like the bartender. Yeah, and I was like,
Speaker 2: that sounds like a good time. I wish I was there.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that was a good time.
Speaker 2: So I would like I would like for you to come.
Speaker 3: Okay, well I will, I will, I will come.
Speaker 2: I will commit is a formal invitation?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, maybe I should officiate the wedding. Maybe you
Speaker 3: should be nice. I've already done it once, have you.
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I did it. Well.
Speaker 5: Michael Ja was supposed to, but he's so anti weddings.
Speaker 5: I don't know if he's going to do it.
Speaker 3: Oh really yeah, we'll see if he If he's not available,
Speaker 3: i'll do it. Okay, So we're gonna take a quick
Speaker 3: break and we'll be right back. And now we're back, Catherine,
Speaker 3: what do we have for yah y'all today? I can't
Speaker 3: wait for this.
Speaker 1: So many things. We have a boob related question. And yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're in good company with this boob question because.
Speaker 2: I see because I got boom.
Speaker 1: I'm the same way. I'm the same way.
Speaker 2: And Chelsea's got big question.
Speaker 7: I don't.
Speaker 3: I have big boobs, but those are like extra.
Speaker 2: No, you have perfect booths.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2: I would agree with that if you have break New
Speaker 2: York tits.
Speaker 3: What are New York tits?
Speaker 2: You don't remember that from Chappelle?
Speaker 3: No, what does that mean?
Speaker 5: He would walk around with the guy and they would stand,
Speaker 5: they would put a sticker on bitches titties and like,
Speaker 5: you got great New York booths.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't segment. It's funny, but yeah, y'alls are enormous,
Speaker 3: and Catherine, yours are enormous. Yeah, so we're prepared. We
Speaker 3: can come on, We're tis, We're prepared to field these questions.
Speaker 1: Amazing. Well, our first question now comes from Alyssa.
Speaker 3: And all of ours are natural? Yes, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: mine are natural.
Speaker 2: Yours are not natural.
Speaker 3: Hey, I showed you them. They are natural. I do
Speaker 3: not have fake tits. You don't know they're real.
Speaker 2: You have really good boobs, like really great boobs.
Speaker 3: I know, thank you. That's why I did not know that. Well,
Speaker 3: that's why I had to say, because I didn't know
Speaker 3: if New York titties meant fake titties. No, oh no,
Speaker 3: they're not fake. I don't have fake tits.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, they're like big and perky.
Speaker 3: I have to constantly announce this to the public because
Speaker 3: they look they're so perfect.
Speaker 2: They look fake.
Speaker 3: It is ridiculous that I have these boobs. I mean,
Speaker 3: I'm so excited about them now. I used to be
Speaker 3: really annoyed by them. Yeah, because they came on when
Speaker 3: I was thirteen. I was a little bit much for
Speaker 3: a thirteen year old, especially when nobody else had little titties.
Speaker 3: So I had to like tape them down. And now
Speaker 3: i've you know, now, if I embraced them obviously and
Speaker 3: so as the rest of the world.
Speaker 5: If I had boobs like that, I would just wear
Speaker 5: a spaghetti strap all day every day.
Speaker 3: Say your tit's flying around.
Speaker 1: Yes, it just takes a lot to hold these up
Speaker 1: like it's just act right, it does.
Speaker 3: It fucking hurts your back, is what the problem is.
Speaker 3: I don't like when I get those, like, you know,
Speaker 3: things on my shoulders carved from the bath. Yes that
Speaker 3: means yeah, so it's not always.
Speaker 5: Too much if I take this bra off, is swing low,
Speaker 5: sweet cheeriot? And I just no, ma'am.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 1: Our first question about boobs comes from Alyssa Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 1: I'm in a dilemma about whether to pursue a breast reduction.
Speaker 1: The reasons I want one are my girls make running
Speaker 1: something that's important for my physical and mental health annoying
Speaker 1: because I have to wear this nasty ass uncomfy sports bra,
Speaker 1: and spontaneous running, like chasing my nieces around, is painful.
Speaker 1: Shopping for tops and dresses is something I avoid because
Speaker 1: I'm pigeonholed into limited options that fit my boobs but
Speaker 1: not the rest of me. I just like the attention
Speaker 1: they draw, and I envy the Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Speaker 1: for being able to walk around and skippy tops care
Speaker 1: free while I'm dealing with all sorts of boob tape
Speaker 1: and readjusting back pain. And two women in my life
Speaker 1: have gotten a breast reduction and claim it one of
Speaker 1: the best things they've ever done. Obviously, that's a dramatic claim,
Speaker 1: but who doesn't love drama. The reasons I'm hesitant undergoing
Speaker 1: a technically unnecessary procedure feels unnecessary. I've had other surgeries,
Speaker 1: so I'm not afraid, but there's always risk as well
Speaker 1: as precious PTO to consider. I've worked really hard to
Speaker 1: love my body, and this feels like a type of
Speaker 1: betrayal toward her, while women with even larger breasts thrive
Speaker 1: and manage to love their beautiful bodies without changing a thing.
Speaker 3: Just get a breast reduction. This is going on and
Speaker 3: on and on. I mean what I know?
Speaker 1: I don't, but she said she feels like opposing polls
Speaker 1: to pursue something that could make a positive change, or
Speaker 1: to honor her body. And do you think it's possible
Speaker 1: to do both?
Speaker 3: Alissa, get a breast reduction. You're gonna feel better about
Speaker 3: yourself and don't care about honoring your body. Do you
Speaker 3: know how many unnecessary procedures I get? Like, I do
Speaker 3: a lot of elective things that I don't need to do,
Speaker 3: and I'm always happy about it. Same exactly. I know
Speaker 3: you're talking to two people that are pro surgery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cut me up, lay me on the table. I'm
Speaker 2: all for.
Speaker 3: I came from physical therapy and they had to dream
Speaker 3: my knee a little because there's still some swelling from
Speaker 3: my surgery. And I go, so, how frequently can I
Speaker 3: drain my knee? And they're like, well, you don't ever
Speaker 3: really want to put needles in your knee unless it's
Speaker 3: absolutely necessary. I'm like, no, bitch, I have no problem
Speaker 3: fucking putting needles in my knees all day long if
Speaker 3: it's gonna help me ski, I don't give a shit.
Speaker 3: She's like, and I go, what's wide. There's always a
Speaker 3: risk of infection. I'm like, bitch, I don't care about
Speaker 3: that risk. That's what antibiotics are for infection.
Speaker 1: And you love to take piels cut those tits? Yeah
Speaker 1: you think so?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, it's just like it's a nicer lifestyle when
Speaker 3: you feel better about your body. It's just nicer.
Speaker 5: Absolutely. And she's not betraying like she needs to cut
Speaker 5: those tits. I'm cutt my tits.
Speaker 2: Cut them? Are you you are?
Speaker 1: I'm curious what your decision making was around that.
Speaker 2: I don't want big titties.
Speaker 4: E why.
Speaker 3: I'm sick of it.
Speaker 2: I'm over it.
Speaker 5: And I would like to wear a spaghetti strap, okay,
Speaker 5: I would like to go bralas.
Speaker 2: I want to walk around like Chelsea.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and I know last year in Mayorka, a
Speaker 1: couple of the girls had had reductions and they had
Speaker 1: kind of like like big still but like perky, and
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, even though they've gotten a little
Speaker 1: bit bigger since the reduction, they've stayed.
Speaker 5: Everybody says they come back. Every time that I know
Speaker 5: that has a breast productions say they come back in some.
Speaker 3: Co Yeah, they do. They do. And so when you
Speaker 3: get a reduction, you have to do more than you
Speaker 3: think you should because they do grow back. So then
Speaker 3: you're like, well, then the girls like, why the fuck
Speaker 3: do I get the reduction? If they're going to grow back, just.
Speaker 2: Go a little smaller than what you Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think when you when you make your body like
Speaker 3: more agreeable to like your whole like practical lifestyle, you
Speaker 3: step into your body even more like, you become more
Speaker 3: like because you're more confident and you feel more secure.
Speaker 3: And it's just a nicer way to go through life
Speaker 3: rather than having some like an onus on.
Speaker 5: Your chest right and insecurity. And also she can run
Speaker 5: believe that. God, yeah, look at them. Yes, those look
Speaker 5: fake they yes grassy. And those kitties on surgery pages,
Speaker 5: Oh my.
Speaker 3: God, I should sell that actor, I should sell them.
Speaker 3: You should want to. Yeah, those are not separate, people
Speaker 3: are nice.
Speaker 5: I can't do that. It would take me too long
Speaker 5: to hoisten them back up. I didn't see it.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's like having a bra Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well our next question is slightly more sober.
Speaker 3: Sober What does sober mean?
Speaker 1: Well, you know, just a little more serious than okay,
Speaker 1: boot questions, but not too too serious. They're very fun.
Speaker 1: So Sarah and Ethan are here, They say, Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 1: Sarah was the one who originally wrote in so she says,
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, my husband is transgender. We got married before
Speaker 1: his transition, and since then all my friends and family
Speaker 1: have been supportive and welcomed his authenticity with open arms. However,
Speaker 1: in light of the recent unfortunate political climate, I have
Speaker 1: a few people in my life, my stepsister and brother
Speaker 1: in law, as well as my best friend's husband, who
Speaker 1: still don't understand the repercussions of voting Republican and how
Speaker 1: that directly affects our life. My husband is very confrontational
Speaker 1: and outspoken, and there have been some heated discussions surrounding
Speaker 1: this issue, to which my family responds, can we just
Speaker 1: not talk about politics? When clearly to us this isn't political,
Speaker 1: it's our lives. What do I do with these family
Speaker 1: members since they can't seem to be reasoned with and
Speaker 1: seemingly continue to vote against my spouse's right to exist.
Speaker 1: Sarah and Ethan.
Speaker 8: Ethan, I so excited to meet you guys, you.
Speaker 3: As well, Okay, So yeah, that's so fucking annoying. I mean,
Speaker 3: it is so frustrating when you have family members that
Speaker 3: do not understand. I just don't understand how people communicate
Speaker 3: with their family members when they disagree politically like that,
Speaker 3: because that you're right, it isn't a political issue and
Speaker 3: it shouldn't even be a governmental issue what you do
Speaker 3: with your body. It's so fucking infuriating. But I like
Speaker 3: to cause a lot of stir So my advice, like
Speaker 3: you know, especially with family and when it's someone you
Speaker 3: love and that someone they love. Ostensibly, I would just
Speaker 3: put up like I would be like, listen, we're not
Speaker 3: gonna I mean, I'm of the thinking to just like
Speaker 3: shut them down. You're not even going to spend time
Speaker 3: with them until they, you know, come around. Would you
Speaker 3: agree with that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was said boundaries.
Speaker 5: If they can't respect you in you and your place
Speaker 5: in your marriage and who you are as a person,
Speaker 5: then they don't need to be around you.
Speaker 2: You don't need that type of.
Speaker 5: Negativity in your life, Like why even bring that into
Speaker 5: your fold and into your marriage, Like no, yeah, it's really.
Speaker 7: Hard to set the boundary because we are a blended
Speaker 7: family and there has been some I guess some issues
Speaker 7: with our other sister to where we don't have a
Speaker 7: relationship anymore.
Speaker 8: The whole family doesn't have a relationship with the sister.
Speaker 8: So it is like why why, oh god, that's a
Speaker 8: whole nother.
Speaker 2: But that's fine.
Speaker 7: There is with our dad and her that just didn't
Speaker 7: work out and now they don't speak.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so this would be like the second the second
Speaker 6: one that we asked from the family dynamic.
Speaker 2: And okay, that's the problem.
Speaker 3: But wait a second. Wait, your family and your dad
Speaker 3: and your sister don't speak, so you didn't ask your
Speaker 3: sister they did, right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's true the first one. Yes, that's yeah, what
Speaker 6: do you mean.
Speaker 3: It didn't work out with your sister, her and your father?
Speaker 3: I need some details, like.
Speaker 2: What do you mean? That's a little weird. But also
Speaker 2: your sister.
Speaker 5: If you cut them out, your sister, you may rekindle
Speaker 5: that relationship and realize that she's the better person for
Speaker 5: you to be in your life if she respects.
Speaker 3: Well, we have to hear about the sister. First, you
Speaker 3: give us, just give us like a quick you know
Speaker 3: overview that overview yeaes synopsis.
Speaker 7: They always just kind of butted heads and it came
Speaker 7: to fruition one day and it almost got physical to
Speaker 7: where my dad had to threaten to call the police
Speaker 7: if she didn't back off. So from then on they
Speaker 7: didn't speak and we we the rest of the family
Speaker 7: got cut by her by association, so we didn't cut
Speaker 7: her out.
Speaker 8: She kind of asked.
Speaker 3: Everyone, okay, okay, okay, after.
Speaker 6: This under the yeah and this is the this is
Speaker 6: so now what we're dealing with is like the second sister, right, and.
Speaker 3: We're perfect timing then so that they can get a
Speaker 3: clue that they're the fucking problem.
Speaker 6: Yeah. I tend I tend to go. I've learned a
Speaker 6: lot that like, not all conflict is bad, especially recently,
Speaker 6: and that there's a lot of like self protection that
Speaker 6: maybe could be and should be done. So this my
Speaker 6: approach has been like I don't I don't need to
Speaker 6: I don't need to talk to them. It's such a
Speaker 6: complicated relationship with in laws, right and with families.
Speaker 3: And I know, but it's like a it's like a
Speaker 3: direct lack of respect for your for you and your safety. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's it. That's the only sentence you need to know. Like,
Speaker 3: they are not respecting that your safety is threatened by
Speaker 3: Republican lawmakers, and like and as long and if they
Speaker 3: don't care about your safety, then what the hell are
Speaker 3: you doing spending time with them?
Speaker 2: That's well said.
Speaker 7: I want to do everything possible to avoid I think,
Speaker 7: losing this relationship because it is the only sibling that
Speaker 7: I have left. So is there anything that you would like?
Speaker 7: I know you're a huge proponent of writing an email
Speaker 7: in a letter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well wait, so you want to salvage the relationship
Speaker 3: with your sister, not your parents, the second sister.
Speaker 5: So also, the parents aren't the problem is this second system?
Speaker 8: Oh no, no, my parents are.
Speaker 2: Oh it's the other sister.
Speaker 3: Oh oh no, Well she wants to salvage it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: because she lost her other sister. I think you know what, Yes,
Speaker 3: I am a big fan of an email, and I
Speaker 3: think you can lay it out to your other sisters.
Speaker 3: So she's the Republican the other sister. Yes, okay, so
Speaker 3: that's problematic. Yes? And does she mar is she married to.
Speaker 8: Someone who's also of the same mind as she well.
Speaker 3: Of course, of course, so they go together one is it.
Speaker 3: You know, Republican women are usually there because their husband's
Speaker 3: told them to be right. But I think that you
Speaker 3: can write her a letter and express like, I really
Speaker 3: don't want our relationship to devolve in the same way
Speaker 3: that your your relationship has devolved with your other sister, right,
Speaker 3: because then she's going to lose two of you. And
Speaker 3: lay it out in the most human, most humane way,
Speaker 3: like we are talking about the safety and protection of
Speaker 3: the person that I am married to, and you were
Speaker 3: talking about voting for someone who is never ever going
Speaker 3: to protect their rights, my husband's rights. So that's very,
Speaker 3: very hard pill for me to swallow. I would love
Speaker 3: for us to be able to like figure this out,
Speaker 3: but it's starting to feel like, you know, I'm going
Speaker 3: to lose another sister, and you got to meet me
Speaker 3: somewhere in the middle there.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 3: I don't know you can make somebody vote for a Democrat, you.
Speaker 5: Know, but like nobody even if not, they can respect
Speaker 5: them and not mention it in their presence. And if
Speaker 5: they can't even do that, then I think that you
Speaker 5: just have to protect yourself. And I feel like you
Speaker 5: should also try to reach out to your sister to
Speaker 5: cut you off and try to rekindle that relationship. I
Speaker 5: do too, So then you won't even if you lose
Speaker 5: out on the other sister, you still got the good one.
Speaker 3: Is that good is she? Is she a good one?
Speaker 3: The sister that got in a fight with your father
Speaker 3: or what she is?
Speaker 8: It's questionable. It's worth looking in.
Speaker 6: It is worth It is worth not you know, locking shut.
Speaker 3: No, And it's not good to lock shut anyway, because
Speaker 3: you know what that is, your sister. Everyone goes through
Speaker 3: difficult times in their lives, and people get better and
Speaker 3: people recover. Not everybody, but a lot of people. Do
Speaker 3: I know, I've learned and grown and changed throughout my life.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you feel the same way. Yeah, yeah, And
Speaker 3: like you know, mistakes you make necessarily you wouldn't necessarily
Speaker 3: repeat in the future. And so it's worth just checking
Speaker 3: in with her and like just reinforcing the fact that
Speaker 3: she's your sister, you love her, you will always be sisters,
Speaker 3: and if she ever wants to reach out, and she
Speaker 3: ever wants to talk, you're always there for her. There's
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with putting that out into the universe. That's
Speaker 3: good vibes and that's good energy. And if she comes back, great,
Speaker 3: and you might catch her when she is ready to
Speaker 3: talk to you. And maybe she's not ready to go
Speaker 3: and be around your parents, But that doesn't mean you
Speaker 3: can't have a relationship with her, right.
Speaker 8: That's kind of how I've always felt about that.
Speaker 7: I think I just maybe need to remind her that
Speaker 7: I'm of that stance, because I think it all gets
Speaker 7: lost when there's drama.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, and people do things in the heat
Speaker 3: of the moment that you know they wouldn't do ten
Speaker 3: years later, or five years later, even six months later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people change.
Speaker 5: Can I ask, does it bother you their political affiliation
Speaker 5: or does it bother you that they're vocal about it
Speaker 5: in your presence?
Speaker 8: So they're not really vocal about it in our presence.
Speaker 6: They actually refuse, they refuse to talk to talk about it.
Speaker 6: And I think it's because logically, I mean, I'm a
Speaker 6: pretty good talker, so they're not gonna.
Speaker 2: So they're never disrespectful to you in your presence.
Speaker 6: No, No, I mean they've asked silly questions like in moments,
Speaker 6: but like they're learning social media, it's their social media presence.
Speaker 5: And oh okay, well maybe if you continue to educate them,
Speaker 5: because if people don't know, sometimes they're just ignorant.
Speaker 2: So maybe if you continue to, you know, just talk.
Speaker 5: To them and educate them on who you are, your story,
Speaker 5: your plight, and the things that go on with you. You
Speaker 5: don't know that you may change your perspective. So you
Speaker 5: may not even have to cut her off.
Speaker 1: To Yeah, and I don't know if you've got a
Speaker 1: chance to tell us to our Skylar Baylor episode. But
Speaker 1: his book They Ha Yes has some really really good
Speaker 1: methods for communicating with loved ones, and especially like asking
Speaker 1: questions at these moments that could get very confrontational and
Speaker 1: say look, well here's what I think, here's what you think,
Speaker 1: where people automatically go in this defensive mode. He's got
Speaker 1: some good tricks in there for like asking questions like
Speaker 1: why do you think that? And so I would definitely
Speaker 1: recommend maybe if you haven't already read it, read it.
Speaker 6: No, I need It's on my list, but I need
Speaker 6: to get I need to get to it.
Speaker 7: He's a little bit more of a hostile negotiator. Yeah,
Speaker 7: I'm a little level headed, So that's for you.
Speaker 3: Ethan yeah. Yeah. I mean I'm assuming your sister and
Speaker 3: her husband have like heard how difficult and like arduous
Speaker 3: the process of transitioning is, right, that everything that you
Speaker 3: have been through, because I find that when people hear that,
Speaker 3: it reduces their ability to argue. When people realize that
Speaker 3: it's not some like whimsical thing that you just do
Speaker 3: and go and like, you know, get surgery to change
Speaker 3: your youth. There's multiple psychological assessments that have to happen.
Speaker 3: You can't just go in and get a penis. Like,
Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, I'm going to a fair and
Speaker 3: I think I want to wear a costume. I mean,
Speaker 3: that's why I find Republicans don't understand like the actual
Speaker 3: background of what has to happen.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a lot of false information out there, and
Speaker 7: I think we have started to share some of that information.
Speaker 7: It's just trying to get them to the point of
Speaker 7: being receptive and like sitting down and listening and instead
Speaker 7: of shutting down or saying I don't want to talk
Speaker 7: about politics. You know, that's their that's their pretty immediate response.
Speaker 7: So it's just getting them to a place where they
Speaker 7: realize it's not political and it shouldn't be political.
Speaker 3: It's not politics. You being a transgender is not political.
Speaker 3: They're the only party in the country in the world
Speaker 3: that is making it political. Well, not in the world.
Speaker 3: There are other countries that are also politicizing it. But
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, No, no Democrat has a
Speaker 3: problem with that. So it's like, why would you actively
Speaker 3: be going after people who are not bothering anybody else.
Speaker 8: It's a great question.
Speaker 3: What would make you satisfied? Like they have to switch parties?
Speaker 8: Yeah, probably, that's how I would force just don't even vote.
Speaker 6: Yeah, if you yeah, if you can't vote for the
Speaker 6: Democratic Democratic candidate, just don't don't vote Republican. I think
Speaker 6: it's I think it's like it's this feeling of someone
Speaker 6: telling you, I sure, I see you, I'm fine with you,
Speaker 6: but then their actions that they're taking outside of that
Speaker 6: moment are are a direct contradiction and and so I'm yeah,
Speaker 6: that's what's hurtful, is I I want to be like, Okay,
Speaker 6: you can say whatever you want, but if you are
Speaker 6: actively voting against my rights as an equal human being,
Speaker 6: I just don't believe you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have a problem with that too. I'm
Speaker 3: with you, but I do think you should reach out
Speaker 3: to the other sister and then do and I think
Speaker 3: you should email your other sister and you know, work
Speaker 3: both of those things at the same time.
Speaker 2: Or you could just send her this podcast.
Speaker 8: I know I thought about that. I could like this episode.
Speaker 8: I'd be pretty eye opening.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's actually a good idea too.
Speaker 6: Because I'm sure they don't know the turmoil or like
Speaker 6: the difficulty we have on our end.
Speaker 2: Oh so you I've never discussed You've never spoke about it.
Speaker 6: I've tried, and the response is we don't talk about that.
Speaker 8: It just gets shut down real fast.
Speaker 3: So that's something you should mention in the letter. Just
Speaker 3: go imagine trying to share yourself with like this is
Speaker 3: my husband. Imagine trying to share your husband wants to
Speaker 3: share any of his personal belief systems or history or
Speaker 3: anything like that, and not being willing to sit and
Speaker 3: listen to it is very obstinate. You're not compromising. That's
Speaker 3: like I'm set in my narrow minded way and the
Speaker 3: only vision I see is the only one that there is,
Speaker 3: And yeah, that is problematic. To actually evolve and grow,
Speaker 3: like that's the whole point of being alive is to
Speaker 3: change and evolve, you know, and learn and have your
Speaker 3: opinions challenged.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 7: I think expressing that one of our biggest desires is
Speaker 7: just to be heard and then actually, like you said,
Speaker 7: possibly playing her in this episode because I don't think
Speaker 7: she also knows how much it does weigh on us,
Speaker 7: just this topic of the our relationship.
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, Well that's good. Let us know,
Speaker 3: keep us posted and let us know how it goes.
Speaker 3: I will, all right, you guys, take care. I have
Speaker 3: a great day, A good afternoon.
Speaker 1: Bye bye, Alex says dear Chelsea. I'm in an emotionally
Speaker 1: distant marriage and questioning my sexuality. I'm a thirty eight
Speaker 1: year old woman married to a man for nine years,
Speaker 1: together for eleven. We have a five year old son together.
Speaker 1: Over the course of the pandemic, I was at home
Speaker 1: with our son and my husband worked a lot of overtime.
Speaker 1: He's a first responder and felt responsibility to help. We'd
Speaker 1: both stopped focusing on our relationships since our son was born,
Speaker 1: and the pandemic served to magnify that. We've also both
Speaker 1: dealt with some depression at times since then. I've been
Speaker 1: bothered by our diminished connection, both emotional and physical. He
Speaker 1: agrees there's a lack of connection, but does nothing about it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to skip forward a little bit. They've done
Speaker 1: a little bit of therapy, but she sort of still
Speaker 1: feels like she's the only one who's doing anything. We've
Speaker 1: got a lot of love for each other, but at
Speaker 1: this point, I'm wondering if I'm nearing my limit. Another
Speaker 1: layer to all of this. After years of counseling on
Speaker 1: my own, I've come to accept about myself that I'm
Speaker 1: attracted to women. At the time of writing this, my
Speaker 1: husband is not aware. It's increasingly on my mind, and
Speaker 1: I'm endlessly curious about being physical with another woman. Since
Speaker 1: I'm asking for a more emotionally open relationship with him,
Speaker 1: do I owe him that information, especially if I feel
Speaker 1: like it's holding me back from being completely myself with him.
Speaker 1: Our sex life is virtually non existent at this point,
Speaker 1: yet another topic we don't talk about unless I bring
Speaker 1: it up. Initially, I thought working on our connection and
Speaker 1: therapy would help me feel romantic toward him again and
Speaker 1: the attraction to women would fade. But that doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to be happening. How to proceed Alex mm.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, what do you think I think she needs
Speaker 5: to bring that bitch in the bedroom. I think if
Speaker 5: she popped up puss in the bedroom, they marriage may spice.
Speaker 2: It up a little bit.
Speaker 3: She wants him to thrutle up. That might not be
Speaker 3: a bad idea.
Speaker 5: Actually, I think that then it'll bring It'll add some spice.
Speaker 5: He'll probably be more engaged. But she has to be
Speaker 5: honest with her feelings, Like she's like, oh, I don't
Speaker 5: want to tell him, but she has to be honest
Speaker 5: and disclosed that she has an attraction to women, and
Speaker 5: then he may be like, Okay, bring that bitchit.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. Or if she was going to say, explore
Speaker 3: her feelings for a woman without her husband, and that's cheating, Okay,
Speaker 3: so she can't do that.
Speaker 2: No, that's cheating.
Speaker 3: That's so do you think she should give her a
Speaker 3: husband the heads up that she's having a feelings for women.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she has to be honest about that, m M.
Speaker 5: Because I mean, if that's where she wants to go,
Speaker 5: then he has the right to know that. Yeah, he
Speaker 5: has the right to know that, regardless if they stay
Speaker 5: together and not. You know, he has the right to
Speaker 5: before she steps. She can't just search to be like
Speaker 5: I think, I like, bit, just let me go chat it.
Speaker 5: So she that's cheating, that's dishonest. So she needs to
Speaker 5: be honest with her husband, especially if that's her life
Speaker 5: partner then she chose and they have a kid together.
Speaker 3: M h yeah, I would say that the first. The
Speaker 3: first what's going to happen is you're going to tell
Speaker 3: your husband that you did that, that you're feeling this
Speaker 3: way about women. He's going to say, let's bring someone
Speaker 3: into the bedroom. You're going to do that. You're gonna
Speaker 3: like that, and that'll happen for a few times or
Speaker 3: you know, maybe months or whatever, and you'll enjoy that,
Speaker 3: and then you're gonna want to just be with women
Speaker 3: and not be with your husband.
Speaker 2: Ya think you'll be cowes.
Speaker 3: That's what fucking happens. I mean, I think it's very
Speaker 3: common for women who have been married for a long
Speaker 3: time to start thinking about being not heterosexual.
Speaker 2: You think so.
Speaker 3: I think it's hats trending. A lot of women are
Speaker 3: turning towards the pussy.
Speaker 1: A lot, I mean, and with good reason.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, men are pretty you know, they can
Speaker 3: be pretty disappointing and they're not all disappointing. I'm not
Speaker 3: saying that because there are a lot of men. I
Speaker 3: went out on date with a guy last night that
Speaker 3: was adorable and sweet and just you know, nice and
Speaker 3: totally fuckable, and he was a nice guy. But I'm
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to spend that amount of time with anybody.
Speaker 3: And I think when you're with a straight guy, like,
Speaker 3: you know, the sheine wears off pretty quickly unless you're
Speaker 3: communicating and you know, and men seem to, like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, there seems to be this thing with women
Speaker 3: when they're married to a man for over ten years,
Speaker 3: especially when they have kids, like then you're fucked mostly,
Speaker 3: you know, not everybody. I mean, there are happy marriages
Speaker 3: which children, but a lot of people, a lot of
Speaker 3: the happiest marriages are people who don't have children together
Speaker 3: or they're on their second marriage and they've had children
Speaker 3: with someone else then, and they can have that. But
Speaker 3: I think that there's a like men stop emotionally growing,
Speaker 3: or maybe they get stunted, or they're stunted to begin with,
Speaker 3: and maybe maybe women don't catch it in the beginning
Speaker 3: because they're so in love and then ten years go by.
Speaker 3: And you're like, well, wait, this isn't fulfilling enough because
Speaker 3: I'm emotionally attuned and in tune with myself. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I think it's very common, but I think the writing's
Speaker 3: on the wall of what's about to happen here. So
Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, go get some pussy girl and
Speaker 3: bring it to the bedroom. Yeah, and then but.
Speaker 5: If you want to be mostly attached to a woman,
Speaker 5: she needs to know it ain't that much better over here.
Speaker 3: Really, Oh come on, Like I love like I'm.
Speaker 5: In love with her, but also like if she's because
Speaker 5: the first woman she's going to be with, she's going
Speaker 5: to be in love with them, and she's going to
Speaker 5: get her heart broken, she's going to feel like that,
Speaker 5: Like she just needs to prepare herself. Like everybody thinks
Speaker 5: the grass is always greener on the other side. That's
Speaker 5: all I'm saying, is just not always true.
Speaker 3: Well, but you're not are you not emotionally attached? You're
Speaker 3: emotionally attached?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying, well, like if she's
Speaker 5: been with this man for ten years and she's like, oh,
Speaker 5: he's not giving me what I want, She's gonna be
Speaker 5: with a bitch the first couple. She's gonna have to
Speaker 5: eat a few pussies before she found one it fits,
Speaker 5: so she's good.
Speaker 2: They're not gonna be emotionally attached to her.
Speaker 5: Either, so she may think that it's just gonna be
Speaker 5: so great and they're gonna be emostly attached and they're
Speaker 5: just gonna instantly connect. And it's not like that she
Speaker 5: has to find her person. It's not necessarily wrapped up in.
Speaker 3: Whether it's a matter or Yes, I agree with that.
Speaker 3: I agree with that, like, yeah, maybe it is a
Speaker 3: man or a woman because it's you're just not fulfilled
Speaker 3: in the relationship you're but either way everything you should
Speaker 3: get some pussies.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, tell your man and then bring her home.
Speaker 3: This episode's gonna be called pussy pounding.
Speaker 1: I will say she didn't want to call in, but
Speaker 1: I spoke to her aunt. She's very sweet and has
Speaker 1: big softball energy.
Speaker 3: Oh really, yeah, I think. Listen, I have a lot
Speaker 3: of friends that I think are gay that are in
Speaker 3: heterosexual relationships.
Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, not a lot, but I'm certain I will.
Speaker 3: I will, Yeah, I will, but not on the podcast,
Speaker 3: because I'm sure they all are listening.
Speaker 1: My peters to them.
Speaker 2: So you think if she brings a woman in, they
Speaker 2: would be a feminine woman.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I just
Speaker 1: know like my gatar for sure went off when I
Speaker 1: got on the phone with her.
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, she may bring you a girl.
Speaker 1: I mean it now, I know there's a whole location.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Castine and Brad is exactly what the doctor orders.
Speaker 1: That's true. My husband is also the engineer on this podcast.
Speaker 2: But sorry, no, it's okay.
Speaker 1: He knows I'm queer. It's fine. But yeah, so I
Speaker 1: think Alex right, and we've have had a conversation with
Speaker 1: your husband and like, let us know how it goes,
Speaker 1: or maybe a little further on down the line when
Speaker 1: you know you have a girlfriend, et cetera.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, make some changes though. You got to like
Speaker 3: actively pursue what you're looking for to see if that's
Speaker 3: what you really want. And I bet your husband will
Speaker 3: be open to it, is that you do. I would
Speaker 3: probably just I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't
Speaker 3: be in this position because I probably wouldn't get married
Speaker 3: to anyone. You know, so I wouldn't, but I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 5: Do you think you would wait ten years, she said
Speaker 5: they would again eleven.
Speaker 1: Right, yes, yeah, married for nine Keep in mind, you
Speaker 1: have a kid.
Speaker 2: Do you think you would wait eleven years to stay
Speaker 2: in No?
Speaker 3: No, no, I wouldn't even if you had the kid. No, no,
Speaker 3: not as me as me.
Speaker 2: Well, no, no as Alex.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know what Alex is like. I mean,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think
Speaker 3: there's any reason to be unhappy. There's too much going
Speaker 3: on in the world that makes people unhappy. There's too
Speaker 3: many upsetting things. You have to take responsibility for your
Speaker 3: personal life and make sure that you are serving yourself
Speaker 3: up with the things that make you happy. And you
Speaker 3: have to make an intention to actively be happy in
Speaker 3: the world we're living in, and that is not adding
Speaker 3: to your happiness. So I think you need to make
Speaker 3: a change.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with Toilphy.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, we have our last caller and she.
Speaker 3: Just how do you think you're doing so far? Yeah, y'ah,
Speaker 3: I don't really know. Okay, I would give you an
Speaker 3: a yeah, yeah, I mean you're listening. Could be a
Speaker 3: little sharper, but I think the advice is good. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I missed a couple of things.
Speaker 7: There.
Speaker 3: But that's okay, that's sorry. It's your first time. It's okay,
Speaker 3: it's your first time on the slide.
Speaker 5: I'll have you know by the way, ya y'all. First,
Speaker 5: I dis my first wake up.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, y'all wakes up twice every morning. Tell them
Speaker 3: your schedule when you wake up.
Speaker 5: My first wake up is between nine and eleven, and
Speaker 5: my second wake up is between one and two. So
Speaker 5: I came on my first wake up. Actually I came
Speaker 5: prior to my first wake up. So that's why I'm
Speaker 5: not as sharp.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So I'm drinking water. I don't even have coffee.
Speaker 3: Okay, So why why do you when you wake up
Speaker 3: the first time? Then what happens? You go back to bed?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I go back to sleep. So you wake up
Speaker 2: for what? How long I wake up? It depends. I
Speaker 2: wake up, I do my morning stuff.
Speaker 5: I wake up, I piss, get Sam some water, check
Speaker 5: on her, and then I laid back down, go to bed. Well,
Speaker 5: I'll scoll through my phone for a little bit it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you're not really going out or doing anything
Speaker 3: you're first week.
Speaker 5: No, I'm still in I'm still on the first floor.
Speaker 5: I'm still on the on the third floor. I'm not
Speaker 5: leaving the third fel Okay, So then you go back
Speaker 5: to sleep and you wake up the second time, and
Speaker 5: that's that's what my day starts. That's my day'st.
Speaker 3: I've never met anybody who wakes up twice. You know
Speaker 3: what I sometimes do if I'm hungover or if I've
Speaker 3: had a big night, I like to wake up, heat
Speaker 3: up something that's yummy, or get it egg McMuffin from
Speaker 3: McDonald's like something like that. Ideally, although I'm not going
Speaker 3: to leave the house, take a half a xanax and
Speaker 3: go back to sleep on a full stomach. That's the happiest.
Speaker 2: The xanax doesn't make you wake up.
Speaker 3: No, the xanax as sleep as for me, it's like
Speaker 3: a sleeping pill. Okay, okay, it's not an upper Oh
Speaker 3: it's not. I've never had it.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's for anxiety. But if you don't have anxiety, it's okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you probably shouldn't take it or you'd
Speaker 1: be like falling asleep at the club. Like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't want to promote xanax or any sort
Speaker 3: of benzodiazepines on these shows. They're addictive and are known
Speaker 3: to cause you know whatever, dementia. But I'm doing enough
Speaker 3: things to combat the demention from the xanax I'm taking.
Speaker 3: I'm doing enough things to offset that.
Speaker 1: That's smart.
Speaker 3: So whatever you deplete your body from, you got to
Speaker 3: add it back in. And I know you do.
Speaker 5: I know you know the right formula. Told you a pusher.
Speaker 5: I know the right formula.
Speaker 1: Well, Nicole says. I recently embarked on a nearly four
Speaker 1: month cross country road trip earlier this year to explore
Speaker 1: some new places to live. I own a remote business,
Speaker 1: so I was able to work while traveling. Not only
Speaker 1: did I discover two wonderful options for relocating, but I
Speaker 1: also met my current partner while traveling, and I'm now
Speaker 1: in a committed long distance relationship with him.
Speaker 3: Oh look at you.
Speaker 1: It's going really well. But long distance is hard. I
Speaker 1: did end up moving a few weeks ago to a
Speaker 1: city that's a five hour flight from him. My question
Speaker 1: for you is, how do I know I made the
Speaker 1: right choice. The city I moved to has a remote
Speaker 1: worker incentive program with professional mentorship programs for entrepreneurs and
Speaker 1: a nice chunk of change they pay me to live here.
Speaker 1: But it's in a red state and doesn't tick some
Speaker 1: of my boxes, and the other city has all the
Speaker 1: amenities and culture. I want not to mention it's driving
Speaker 1: distance from my new partner, but it's really expensive and
Speaker 1: I know I'd struggle to afford living there. Do I
Speaker 1: choose to focus on my career and set myself up
Speaker 1: for future success or do I choose to be close
Speaker 1: to my partner in a city that has everything I'm
Speaker 1: looking for but has a hefty price tag.
Speaker 3: Nicole mm oh hei Nikol, How are you hi?
Speaker 7: Hi?
Speaker 3: Why can't your husband come to you? I mean, you're sorry,
Speaker 3: you're soon to be husband. You're a boyfriend. Why can't
Speaker 3: he come to you?
Speaker 4: Well, we've been dating for six months and we have
Speaker 4: talked about it. He has offered. He's a journalist, so
Speaker 4: he can pretty much work from any newspaper. It's just
Speaker 4: a matter of actually making the move.
Speaker 3: So right now, it's a five hour drive to visit him.
Speaker 4: No, he lives in Oregon and I live in Oklahoma.
Speaker 3: Oh, so that's a long distance relationship and you.
Speaker 5: Just recently moved to Oklahoma, right, Yeah, Okay, so if
Speaker 5: you just moved, then he needs to make the next move.
Speaker 4: Yea.
Speaker 3: Yah's very tit for tat. It's a scoreboard with her.
Speaker 3: It's like, bitch, you did this, and now I do this.
Speaker 5: She's already moved to be close a little closer, so
Speaker 5: why can't they compromise?
Speaker 2: And he moved closer to her.
Speaker 3: Listen, it's not fun Oklahoma City. But I would say, like,
Speaker 3: the good thing about living in a red state is
Speaker 3: that you can have the ability to, like I don't know,
Speaker 3: I always feel like you can change people's minds when
Speaker 3: you're living in that kind of culture, and like it's
Speaker 3: an opportunity for you to like demonstrate your goodwill and
Speaker 3: like your political beliefs and your value system, and it's
Speaker 3: kind of like a nice way to infect all those
Speaker 3: other red people, you know what I mean, with kindness
Speaker 3: and inject them with kindness and fairness and your beliefs
Speaker 3: on equality and all of that. I know how tough
Speaker 3: it must be to probably be with like lacking that
Speaker 3: kind of culture. But I would say, you know, you
Speaker 3: just made this move, like give yourself an amount of time,
Speaker 3: and if you're still dissatisfied in like, say it's six
Speaker 3: months or it's a year, then you can reassess and
Speaker 3: figure out if I would say your career is more
Speaker 3: important than your relationship at this point, I would say
Speaker 3: that to anyone at any point in the lives. And
Speaker 3: then you know, if you guys are still together in
Speaker 3: six months and you're still hot and heavy, or in
Speaker 3: a year, whatever your time frame, then you can reassess
Speaker 3: and say maybe, okay, maybe now I'm gonna move closer
Speaker 3: to him, or he moves closer to you, but he
Speaker 3: shouldn't have to move to Oklahoma fucking city.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like, that's like not fair.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying I was just trying to give a balance.
Speaker 2: Since she just moved, do you.
Speaker 3: Feel comfortable giving yourself six months or a year?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I moved in September, and I told
Speaker 4: myself I'd give myself until March to like evaluate.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: So far, like it's just started to benefit my career
Speaker 4: to be here. Like I moved to Tulsa because they
Speaker 4: have a remote worker incentive program.
Speaker 3: Tulsa is cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is cool. I like it so far.
Speaker 3: I have culture there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm into it. It's it's different than New Jersey,
Speaker 4: like you were saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's different than New Jersey and it's good
Speaker 3: to get a taste of that. So yeah, so you're
Speaker 3: gonna give yourself till March.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you know, reevaluate. I know that he
Speaker 4: is not so sad a with where he lives.
Speaker 3: So well, maybe you guys can find a new city together.
Speaker 3: If you guys are still together in six months, maybe
Speaker 3: you guys can like figure out, like, let's start a
Speaker 3: life together. Let's pick a city where that's gonna suit
Speaker 3: both of your needs. And that's an adventure too. I
Speaker 3: would just look at Oklahoma City as not your permanent
Speaker 3: place of living. I would just say, sorry, Tilsa, I
Speaker 3: think you should enjoy your time there, soak it up,
Speaker 3: meet as many people as you can, try to change
Speaker 3: as many minds as you can, and then and just
Speaker 3: think of it as a temporary part of your life.
Speaker 3: How old are you thirty? Yeah? Oh yeah, what of
Speaker 3: course you could spend three years there and I wouldn't
Speaker 3: make a dent in your life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I really don't feel too much time pressure.
Speaker 4: This is the best relationship I've been in, so it's
Speaker 4: definitely I have I feel confident that it can go
Speaker 4: the distance.
Speaker 2: But it's just you seem really in love. You seem
Speaker 2: really happy. I know, Bless, that's so cute.
Speaker 4: Just reflecting yesterday about the year and I was like, oh.
Speaker 3: Long, oh that's so sweet. On a road trip, no Less,
Speaker 3: How did you guys meet up on a road trip?
Speaker 4: Well, I was using the dating apps just to like
Speaker 4: meet people because I was looking for a new city
Speaker 4: to live in, so I wanted to like get the
Speaker 4: local perspective. And then he I actually had a really
Speaker 4: bad experience in the town he was in, But I
Speaker 4: was like trying to see if I wanted to live there,
Speaker 4: but like got criminal minds, Like somebody was like following
Speaker 4: me on the highway was really creepy. I was going
Speaker 4: to leave the next day, and then he messaged me
Speaker 4: and I was like, well, let me just go for coffee,
Speaker 4: and then I ended up staying.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, how often do you guys get to see
Speaker 2: each other?
Speaker 3: Average?
Speaker 4: Like every six eight weeks. Oh, I'm actually gonna go
Speaker 4: see him on Thursday. His mom invited me, so I'm
Speaker 4: going to meet the whole family.
Speaker 3: Oh good, oh good. Well, just enjoy your time right now.
Speaker 3: Enjoy Oklahoma, enjoy Tulsa, and enjoy your long distance relationship.
Speaker 3: And then in March you can reevaluate and if it
Speaker 3: needs a couple more months, then that's fine too. Just
Speaker 3: look at this as a temporary situation to get yourself
Speaker 3: more like financially situated.
Speaker 4: Thank you for the advice. I just have a hard
Speaker 4: time like day to day I think accepting. Do you
Speaker 4: have any advice for like just how to really like
Speaker 4: radically accept that I have made this choice and like
Speaker 4: not like just waiting for the end.
Speaker 3: Yes, you have to be like active in your First
Speaker 3: of all, you need to be active in your community
Speaker 3: in some way. You have to join some clubs whatever
Speaker 3: you're interested in. What are you interested in, like sports
Speaker 3: or chess or like a book club or anything like
Speaker 3: what do you like to do in your free time?
Speaker 4: I would love to join a book club. I've been
Speaker 4: asking everybody for like crafting circle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well those things you can easily find on Facebook
Speaker 3: and online, just you know, I mean, just google this
Speaker 3: stuff in your area and start hanging out with people
Speaker 3: and being an active participant. And you should just write
Speaker 3: down a mantra for yourself, like I'm going to be
Speaker 3: an active participant in my life and I'm going to
Speaker 3: be an active participant in my community, so that you're
Speaker 3: just like enjoying yourself. The worst thing about not being
Speaker 3: present in the present moment and thinking about the future
Speaker 3: is that you are You're like on borrow time. You
Speaker 3: have to make the most of everything. You don't know
Speaker 3: what's going to be out there or what kind of
Speaker 3: friendships you're going to make, you know, with people, so
Speaker 3: like you really have to just kind of I know
Speaker 3: what you're saying, and I've been there, but you do
Speaker 3: have to make a shift, and you should start meditating
Speaker 3: on it, like, you know, find a meditation that helps
Speaker 3: you really focus on the moment that you were in
Speaker 3: instead of looking to the future. It's okay to plan things.
Speaker 3: Just be like, I'm here for six months. I'm going
Speaker 3: to make the most out of this. I'm going to
Speaker 3: see everything Tulsa has to offer, and I'm going to
Speaker 3: make great friends that I'm going to have for the
Speaker 3: rest of my life. And eventually those things become true
Speaker 3: and then they are real. It's manifestation.
Speaker 2: Wow, you should write a book.
Speaker 3: Don't you believe in manifestation? I know you do, right, yeah,
Speaker 3: I do. It's true, Like you have to you and
Speaker 3: what's your head is in the game. Then you are
Speaker 3: in the game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to take that advice. Yeah, absolutely, yah
Speaker 2: oh real that was really good.
Speaker 3: Thanks yahya, thanks. Do you feel what I'm saying? Do
Speaker 3: you feel? I think you should write those two sentences
Speaker 3: down and put them on a mirror in your bathroom
Speaker 3: so you read that every morning, and that's how you
Speaker 3: start every single day. And then who know, you know what,
Speaker 3: you might even fucking fall in love with Tulsa. You
Speaker 3: might even be like, I'm never going to leave here.
Speaker 3: This is I came here, I didn't want to stay
Speaker 3: here for more than six months, and then you're there
Speaker 3: for twenty years.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very possible. People have done it.
Speaker 3: So open your mind, don't keep it so narrow, open it,
Speaker 3: broaden it, and expand it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think also, like once a week, I think
Speaker 1: you should try to do something new in the city,
Speaker 1: just to be like, I only have six months here,
Speaker 1: so like I'm going to, you know, every single week,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do something new.
Speaker 3: And even if you and find a book club or
Speaker 3: start a book club, you can start one, you know,
Speaker 3: and to start it on Facebook or on Instagram or
Speaker 3: any of these things. You can find people in your area.
Speaker 3: So easily on all of these apps. It's easy to
Speaker 3: connect with strangers if you haven't made any real friends yet,
Speaker 3: and start cultivating relationships, and definitely do things outside of
Speaker 3: your comfort zone. You know, join a club like a
Speaker 3: running club or a walking club or a hiking club
Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck biking, you know, and make sure
Speaker 3: you're doing different things so that you're stretching yourself and
Speaker 3: that you're not just stagnant.
Speaker 1: And tell your boyfriend to move to you.
Speaker 4: I'm Adela. I'madela Chelsea Handler and everybody said you need
Speaker 4: to come to them.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, good luck in Tulsa and enjoy those museums
Speaker 3: I love I was just there a few well not Jess,
Speaker 3: but I loved it. I had a great time at Tulsa.
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Okay, awesome later us post it buck bye.
Speaker 2: That was really good advice.
Speaker 3: You know what ya ya? I'm glad you're finally showing
Speaker 3: me some respect. Do you know what yaya? Do you
Speaker 3: know what ya y'all calls me in public? No, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell everybody you have apologized and that was
Speaker 3: very sweet and on next I know you did, I
Speaker 3: know I could tell that you meant it, but she
Speaker 3: was calling me Massa on our fucking trip and yelling
Speaker 3: at me Massa massive massive this okay Massa, Okay, bitch,
Speaker 3: am my mass up. You want us to be better,
Speaker 3: I can go to the beach at noon, okay, Massa.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, bitch, that's not fucking funny. You cannot
Speaker 3: call me masa. And then we're out in a restaurant
Speaker 3: in New York City a few months later and she
Speaker 3: fucking does it again though. And then I were with
Speaker 3: another black friend, my friend Jabria, and she's like, bitch,
Speaker 3: she cannot be calling you massa, and I'm like, no
Speaker 3: fucking kidding.
Speaker 5: Well sometimes I mean you do crack a whip chills, Okay.
Speaker 3: Anyway, anyway, thank you, yah Yah for what a delight
Speaker 3: you gave such great advice. I'm sure everyone's gonna have
Speaker 3: loved listening to you too. Ya Ya thanks, Yeah you
Speaker 3: really you really pricked up our studio this morning and
Speaker 3: do what I can. Yeah, now what you can? Oh
Speaker 3: and also if you want to really laugh and watch
Speaker 3: ya Ya harassed people online, please follow her on Instagram
Speaker 3: at Vanity dot Vixen. Is that what it is Vanity
Speaker 3: Dot Vixen and.
Speaker 2: Check out Sam's new special on HBO.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what's it called again?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 5: The first one is called three in the Morning that's
Speaker 5: on Netflix, and the one that just dropped is called
Speaker 5: Salute Me or Shoot Me, Salute Me or shoot Yes?
Speaker 5: Thank you yayah no, thank you for having me. I
Speaker 5: really appreciate it.
Speaker 2: This was cool.
Speaker 3: See you next week, everybody. Okay, So show dates coming
Speaker 3: out Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys. I'm
Speaker 3: coming January nineteenth, Edmonton January twentieth, Saskatoon February ninth. I'll
Speaker 3: be in Winnipeg, Victoria, BC is March eighth. Then i
Speaker 3: will be in Salt Lake City April fourth, and Denver
Speaker 3: April fifth. I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa April twelfth.
Speaker 3: April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks, California at the Cash
Speaker 3: Creek Casino, and then I'm going to be in Santa
Speaker 3: Rosa Sunday April fourteenth. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore,
Speaker 3: Maryland on April twentieth, Gary in Deana, Prior Lake, Minnesota.
Speaker 3: Coming to Oklahoma Norman, Oklahoma on May third and May fourth,
Speaker 3: I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma for my rescheduled Windstar
Speaker 3: World Casino date, and I want to make sure that
Speaker 3: I give a shout out to our show for Netflix.
Speaker 3: As a joke festival, I put together a show with
Speaker 3: some of my favorite comics. It's May eleventh at the
Speaker 3: YouTube Theater Downtown, which I've never performed in, so that's
Speaker 3: gonna be fun. It's pretty big. I have Beteo Lane,
Speaker 3: I have Fortune Themester performing. I have Sam Jays on
Speaker 3: the show and Vanessa Gonzale, so we it is called
Speaker 3: a Jew two Mexicans. No a Jew, two gays in
Speaker 3: a Mexican. No a Jew, three gays at a Mexican.
Speaker 3: So it's political correctness at its finest. And then I
Speaker 3: will be in Verona, New York on May twenty sixth,
Speaker 3: and then I'm coming to Australia in July and New
Speaker 3: Zealand July fifth, Auckland and I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Speaker 3: Sydney and then Thursday, August first, which is a long
Speaker 3: way away and a date I am just seeing that
Speaker 3: I am not ready to announce. Okay, So those are
Speaker 3: all my dates that are up and available, so get
Speaker 3: your tickets. I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law and
Speaker 1: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 1: com