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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, you have a baby with you?

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Speaker 2: Oh, the baby is in the house.

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Speaker 3: I have Bernice on my lap because we have a

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Speaker 3: workman in the house, and she I think he hates

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Speaker 3: men pretty much. I don't know where she got that from.

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Speaker 1: What a surprise, Like mother, like daughter.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't hate men. Might not be saying that

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Speaker 3: it's affecting my ability to get penetration.

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Speaker 1: Chelsea loves men in all the senses.

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Speaker 3: I do love men.

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Speaker 4: I do.

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Speaker 3: I'm having actually a very good time with some men.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad about that for you.

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Speaker 3: I have a lot of flirtations going on at home

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Speaker 3: abroad anyway, Doug is arriving, Casey is driving him up

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Speaker 3: on Thursday he arrives. Doug is so fucking I already

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Speaker 3: talked about Doug. I don't want to be one of

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Speaker 3: those people who bangs on about my dogs, but he

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Speaker 3: is going to be. I'm gonna be really, it's gonna

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Speaker 3: ruffle my feathers. Because this means basically, Bernice has an AirTag,

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Speaker 3: like an Apple AirTag on her so I can just

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Speaker 3: let her go out and then I go find her.

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Speaker 3: You know, when I feel like it's ten minutes later, out, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because she doesn't go anywhere. She just like peas and

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Speaker 3: then looks at the house and then looks at the trees.

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Speaker 3: But Doug is gonna be a fucking maniac, like he

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Speaker 3: is going and I already get stopped by Bernie's you know,

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Speaker 3: it was so cute. There was like this group of

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Speaker 3: like eight twenty five year old guys renting a house

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Speaker 3: down the street from me, and when I was walking

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Speaker 3: with her, they were like, oh my god, look at

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Speaker 3: that little dog bear and they were and I was like,

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Speaker 3: it's so nice when men that age love dogs and

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Speaker 3: noticed a dog, like they all stopped and they all

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Speaker 3: pet her. I was like, you guys are so cute. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was really sweet. But I get so much attention

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Speaker 3: from Bernice. I'm like, oh, Doug is going to be

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Speaker 3: a nightmare because everyone's gonna stop us about this guy.

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Speaker 3: I mean, he is too good looking.

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Speaker 1: He is gonna have all the energy. And Bernie has

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Speaker 1: a personality a bit like a Xanax.

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Speaker 3: Like, yeah, she has taken azanax. You probably took one

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Speaker 3: of mine. And but also Doug is gonna have to

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Speaker 3: because he's a puppy and he's eight months old and

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Speaker 3: this is going to be a new house and he's

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Speaker 3: gonna be have driven with Casey. He's been shuffled around

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Speaker 3: a bit, you know, to try to get him up here.

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Speaker 3: He's been with my Bell. She's tried to, you know,

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Speaker 3: hypnotize him. I'm sure, but he he's going to have

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Speaker 3: to go out a lot, and that is not my

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Speaker 3: strong suit taking the dogs out. Like I just at

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Speaker 3: some point last season, I just started putting peepats out

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Speaker 3: on the balcony and let them just go pee out there.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, I'm like living in a

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Speaker 3: trailer park basically. But yeah, I'm really excited about my

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Speaker 3: new family. It's just my dream dog. It's arrived. He's

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Speaker 3: my baby. I love him. I had a great ski

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Speaker 3: day yesterday. I'm about to go hop off of this

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Speaker 3: after we're done and go skiing again. And I am

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Speaker 3: just really really and I've been writing my book and

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Speaker 3: it's finally coming together. I got so much work done

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Speaker 3: with my ski buddy, Kelly. Her daughters are twins and

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Speaker 3: Katie and Jesse. They basically move in with me for

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Speaker 3: winter when I move up here. They call me Dad.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 3: And Jesse and I had like a work study program

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Speaker 3: this weekend and I got more writing done. I wrote

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Speaker 3: for six straight hours and organized everything. I think this book.

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Speaker 3: When I am ready to announce the title and the

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Speaker 3: release date of the book, people are going to be

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Speaker 3: really I think this is going to be really something

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Speaker 3: special that is fantastic.

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Speaker 1: Now, Okay, so your writing process are you like, I

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Speaker 1: gotta wait for inspiration. I gotta sit down see if

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Speaker 1: the inspiration comes.

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Speaker 3: No, I just have to a lot time and sit

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Speaker 3: down and just start writing, because the only way to

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Speaker 3: keep writing is to start writing.

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Speaker 1: You just have to start.

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Speaker 3: And then, like I was writing this book, but there

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Speaker 3: was like a joyfulness missing in the writing of the book.

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Speaker 3: The way I lived my life wasn't coming through the page.

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Speaker 3: And the page is about how to live this joyful

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Speaker 3: experience of life. And so I don't know what happened,

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Speaker 3: but something shifted. Actually, I've been working with that new

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Speaker 3: therapist and I think she shifted some stology in me. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because we do these kind of exercises and she's like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: we're gonna get rid of that old stuff, like let's

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Speaker 3: move into this new stuff that you want. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I'm yeah, I feel good. Yeah, you know how

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Speaker 3: much I love Whistler. It's just I never want to leave.

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Speaker 1: And you're so restored there, like you you are getting

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Speaker 1: positive vibes and you're able to put out positive vibes.

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Speaker 1: But when you're like exhausted, you just won't have anything

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Speaker 1: to give, you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, an empty vessel. So anyway, OK, So as

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Speaker 3: a great follow up to last week's episode, we have

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Speaker 3: the other half of Sam Jay which is called Yah Yah.

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Speaker 1: I actually have a follow up from Sam's episode from

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Speaker 1: one of our people who wrote in, and it's pretty

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Speaker 1: juicy Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh oh is it about ya ya?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, but it is about cheating. And oh someone

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Speaker 1: had written in about her sister's husband was running around

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Speaker 1: and had this work bestie that he had spent the

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Speaker 1: night with, but he said they were just friends sort

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Speaker 1: of thing. It was a female work bestie. Well Elle

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Speaker 1: wrote in with a follow up. She said, Hi, there,

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Speaker 1: wanted to provide an update on my sister in law

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Speaker 1: and her husband regarding his inappropriate relationship with his coworker.

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Speaker 1: I appreciated all your feedback and advice because it definitely

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Speaker 1: validated the way I felt. So update. It all came

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Speaker 1: out a two year affair with the girl plus sex

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Speaker 1: worker and a few other casual one night stands here

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Speaker 1: and there, and guess what, My sister in law has

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Speaker 1: yet to leave despite her last straw being broken. He's

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Speaker 1: totally playing the victim, and I don't think understands her

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Speaker 1: need to heal. He's in his own sex therapy and

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Speaker 1: they're indiscernment counseling, And at first we were all very

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Speaker 1: emotional about it, but as of lately, we've learned that

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Speaker 1: she does need to step away on her own and

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Speaker 1: deal with this in her own way. Even if it

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Speaker 1: does waste more time for her, She's only going to

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Speaker 1: be ready when she's ready. It sucks, it hurts, but

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Speaker 1: it's their experience, even though I'm hoping she finally does

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Speaker 1: gain this self worth to leave. Thanks again, Elle. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean, wow, so update not great for sister in law.

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Speaker 3: But now we know therapy. It's so hard for me

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Speaker 3: to take that seriously, even though I know it's a

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Speaker 3: real thing. You know, it's just like sex therapy. Really,

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Speaker 3: you can't keep your fucking dick in your pants. I mean, honestly,

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Speaker 3: I don't know what's wrong with people. I know, yeh,

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Speaker 3: control yourself, I know.

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Speaker 1: And this is like sociopath behavior, like I know many

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Speaker 1: of that. Gross. You can't fix that. You can't fix that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, anyway, let's move on to Yah Yah. I

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Speaker 3: don't think she needs any introduction. You're going to understand

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Speaker 3: what I'm talking about when you listen to this interview,

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Speaker 3: because this girl is one hot potato I would like

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Speaker 3: to introduce the world to. If you don't know of

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Speaker 3: her yet, you will find out about her at some point.

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Speaker 3: We spoke about her in her absence when I had

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Speaker 3: Sam Jay on the podcast, right, Catherine, we talked about

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Speaker 3: her significant other, who is very, very significant. Her name

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Speaker 3: is Yaya and she is a fucking she is trouble

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Speaker 3: with a capital fucking tea. Okay, and now here she is.

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Speaker 3: She's sitting across from me. We're in New York City.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to New York City. You live here?

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Speaker 2: Thank you? Yes, I do live here.

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Speaker 3: So actually you should say to me, well, welcome to

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Speaker 3: New York Tell thank you welcome.

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Speaker 2: I would have welcomed you if I knew you were here.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, yah Yah. That's a dig, because that's a

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Speaker 3: dig because she just said, oh, how long you here for?

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Speaker 3: It would have been nice to know. And I said

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Speaker 3: before we got on air, I'm sitting right across from you,

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Speaker 3: so obviously this is you knowing anyway, that is true,

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Speaker 3: But this is the kind of shit I'm dealing with

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Speaker 3: with this woman. And I met Yah Yah. Well I

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Speaker 3: met you like at the Montreal Comedy Festival. I think

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Speaker 3: was the first time I met you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like three years ago.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And what stood out with her eyelashes because they

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Speaker 3: and her nails are equally there the same length. Her

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Speaker 3: eyelashes you could use, as you know, the flippers when

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Speaker 3: you go in swimming, like that is true, you could

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Speaker 3: swim with those eyelashes and her nails. So when I

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Speaker 3: first met her, I was like, oh, this woman is

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Speaker 3: trouble and I should just, you know, watch myself. And

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Speaker 3: I wasn't wrong. My instincts were right. And then she

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Speaker 3: came to Myorca with a whole group. We had like

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Speaker 3: a comedy week in my Orca with Sam and Fortune

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Speaker 3: and Jack's and Jamie Greenberg and a bunch of people,

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Speaker 3: and that was really fun. And then we really bonded

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Speaker 3: and you guys were planning on kind of leaving the

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Speaker 3: whole time that you were there in case we had

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Speaker 3: an out right explain that.

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Speaker 5: Please, Well, I mean it is kind of it's kind

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Speaker 5: of scary, you going on vacation with people you don't know.

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Speaker 2: So we had it out.

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Speaker 5: We had an option to out if we didn't want

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Speaker 5: to be there anymore, but we ended up liking you.

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Speaker 3: But you said scary, you're leaving out the white part.

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Speaker 2: Yes, right, well it was a group of whites. I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with that.

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Speaker 5: But also it is kind of intimidating when you're the

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Speaker 5: only blacks there. You don't know what's gonna happen. So

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Speaker 5: I didn't know if our lives are going to be

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Speaker 5: in danger. And also you kept trying to take me hiking.

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Speaker 5: Why the fuck did you keep trying to take me hiking?

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Speaker 3: Because it's good exercise. It's not everything that I was suggesting.

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Speaker 3: We're activities that were going to enhance enhance your life.

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Speaker 3: You were even trying to make Sam go hiking with you.

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Speaker 5: If you recall, yeah, we do together because I wanted

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Speaker 5: to do it together.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna go wid out through alone.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, but I'm in then almost a number, like

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Speaker 3: I'm a safety number. You think I'm gonna be the one.

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Speaker 5: No, it was like six against two, so it was

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Speaker 5: like we had to I had to keep the number.

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Speaker 3: I had to branch off from the white people. And

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Speaker 3: you were also you would have go into the water

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Speaker 3: with me at night. You wouldn't get.

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Speaker 2: Into a I was kind of spooky.

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Speaker 5: Okay, we'll explain that you can't swim at night. That's wild.

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Speaker 3: Why not.

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Speaker 2: It's the ocean and I'm black.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh.

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Speaker 5: I'm not getting in a boat with you at night.

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Speaker 5: That doesn't make sen to me. I'm not doing it that.

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Speaker 5: This didn't make That didn't add up.

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Speaker 3: But you let Sam get in a boat with me.

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Speaker 5: I was very fearful of that and I told her

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Speaker 5: not to, but you core host her.

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Speaker 2: In to doing that. She she you influenced her all week.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh really, Yeah, okay, okay, this is another Yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is another thing I forgot to mention when Sam

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Speaker 3: was on. Sam shows up in my Orca and asks

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Speaker 3: what drugs I have, And of course I have some,

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Speaker 3: but I was running low because I was on my

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Speaker 3: third week in Mayorca, and I had twenty different people

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Speaker 3: through my house before this group came.

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Speaker 2: So this was the the best group.

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Speaker 3: Well, okay, you were a great group. I can't say

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Speaker 3: who the best group was. Okay, No, we know who. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Well everyone thinks they're the best group, and that's fine

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Speaker 3: with me. I would never even think about trying to

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Speaker 3: be the best group. Okay. But Sam wanted demanded drugs,

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Speaker 3: she needed them, and then when I gave her what

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Speaker 3: I had, it wasn't Yeah. Yeah, goes, look at you,

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Speaker 3: Look at you influencing my boo. You did because she

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Speaker 3: got really fucked up. No, I'm a I am a supplier.

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Speaker 3: I'm a hostess. You were Frank Lucas of my Orca.

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Speaker 3: That's who you are. You are Frank Lucas my Orca.

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Speaker 3: I was being a very good hostess. And every time

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Speaker 3: Sam went a little bit off the rails, which is

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Speaker 3: almost every day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well know, you're a great hostess. Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Yah Yah would look

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Speaker 3: at me and try and lay blame on me.

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Speaker 5: No, you were great hostess. You were just a pusher,

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Speaker 5: but you are a great right.

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Speaker 3: I do want people to do drugs. I do like that,

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Speaker 3: you know. I just feel like so many people have

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Speaker 3: untapped resources and creativity within them that once they do

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Speaker 3: the right drug that they find the right thing. And

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Speaker 3: it's not for everybody. You know, drugs are not for everybody.

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Speaker 3: I want to say that as a medical professional on

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Speaker 3: this on this what that's why? Is that funny?

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Speaker 2: No? No, no, I trust you.

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Speaker 3: Okay, as a medical professional on this podcast, I would

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Speaker 3: like to say that drugs are not for everyone, but

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Speaker 3: they are for me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all drugs aren't for me.

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Speaker 3: And you don't like, Oh you know what I loved?

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Speaker 3: Tell us this story. This is a good drug story.

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Speaker 3: Would you mind telling it? The one where you saw

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Speaker 3: the video of yourself? Oh wow, we're going Well, we

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Speaker 3: don't have to. We can go to a different area

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Speaker 3: if you're not comfortable.

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Speaker 5: Talking about it with that. No, I just saw myself.

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Speaker 5: Me and my friends used to like in our early twenties.

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Speaker 5: It's a long time ago, so let's put this on

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Speaker 5: the record. We would recreationally pop up pill or two.

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Speaker 3: So what's the drug called though.

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Speaker 2: Flex areal? Flexireo was my drug choice.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I thought it was something else. Oh that's like

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Speaker 3: a muscle relaxer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like flexireal.

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Speaker 3: But it was like, yeah, you can't take that and

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Speaker 3: go out.

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Speaker 5: No, but we were drinking too, and I think some

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Speaker 5: of this stuff was opioid based.

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Speaker 2: I think flexieral is opioid based.

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Speaker 5: So like when I saw a video of like, I

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Speaker 5: thought I was just chilling and having a good time

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Speaker 5: and having fun. But then my friends played a video

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Speaker 5: back of me and I was not off at the table,

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Speaker 5: and it was just like, that's what that Wasn't you.

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Speaker 3: Thought you were crushing it. You were out thinking you

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Speaker 3: had a blast. You're like, last night was fun. It like,

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Speaker 3: you need to see a video of yourself if you

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Speaker 3: think you were having it. And it was cute.

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Speaker 5: So I was just like, I want to look cute

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Speaker 5: at all times, so when I did look cute, I

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Speaker 5: couldn't do it.

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Speaker 3: You look really cute right now?

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Speaker 2: Thank you?

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Speaker 3: Shoot later, I want to talk about your relationship with Sam.

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Speaker 2: Went about it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so you're from Atlanta, Yes I am. Okay, you

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Speaker 3: should be on the Real Housewives of something.

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Speaker 2: You know what.

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Speaker 5: They tried to get me on the Real house Oh

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Speaker 5: my god, they did. Yeah at least was like eons ago,

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Speaker 5: and why did you fucking do that?

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Speaker 2: I didn't have money like that, so I just felt

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Speaker 2: like it would just been too fraudulent.

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Speaker 3: Too.

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Speaker 5: Fargs like I owned a business. It was just like

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Speaker 5: it wasn't lucrative, but you would have gotten down to business.

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Speaker 2: With the Yeah, I would have.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's what the world wants to see,

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Speaker 3: because if you were on one of the housewife franchises,

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Speaker 3: I would watch that fucking show, would you, Yeah, because

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Speaker 3: I know what would go down. I saw the video

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Speaker 3: stories if Sam Sam Jay's on tour right now? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: yeah's on tour with her, which means she is calling

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Speaker 3: people out in the audience, screaming and yelling at anybody.

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Speaker 3: What was the last incident that happened when you had

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Speaker 3: to remove one of the.

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Speaker 5: I didn't remove her, Security removed her. She was being

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Speaker 5: a nuisance. She was being loud and belligerent and drunk,

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Speaker 5: and I just asked her to be quiet, and she

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Speaker 5: didn't want to listen, so she had to get out

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Speaker 5: of here.

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Speaker 3: And then did what did she say to you? Didn't

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Speaker 3: she say something to you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: She was like some lady, some black lady told me

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Speaker 2: to be quiet. I just walked about. It was me.

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Speaker 5: It was me, girl, I told you to shut the

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Speaker 5: fuck up. It was me, shut the fuck up. And

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Speaker 5: she was like, I can't believe you said that, but

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Speaker 5: I had asked her twice. The first time, I was

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Speaker 5: very pleasant and I was excuse me, ma'am. Can you

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Speaker 5: bring it down a little bit? Like she was on

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Speaker 5: her phone, she was watching a basket a baseball game.

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Speaker 3: It was just wild. I fucking hate that so much.

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Speaker 3: I hate that so much.

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Speaker 5: It's just rude because she was disturbing the people around her.

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Speaker 5: Like literally, when she got kicked out, she was with

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Speaker 5: about twenty people. Nobody gave a fuck because they wanted

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Speaker 5: her to leave too, but they didn't know how because

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Speaker 5: she was ahead of HR, so they felt like their jobs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the head exactly, ironic. She was the worst.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, okay, So bring us back to your relationship

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Speaker 3: with Sam, because you guys have been together for a

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Speaker 3: long time. Yeah, and we're gonna be giving relationship advice

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Speaker 3: on this show, okay, potentially in this episode. So I

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Speaker 3: want you to walk us through the status of your

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Speaker 3: relationship over the years, because it's been You've had turbulent

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Speaker 3: times and Sam loves when I bring up her cheating,

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Speaker 3: So we can talk about that, or we could talk

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Speaker 3: about just the genesis.

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Speaker 2: Well, what do you want to start with? In the beginning.

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Speaker 3: Start at the beginning, because it's a beautiful love story,

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Speaker 3: and I think it's it gives other people, you know,

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Speaker 3: I think other people probably have similar relationships where they

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Speaker 3: love someone and then they're not together, and then give

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Speaker 3: them hope to come back together.

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Speaker 2: That's true. I think our versions are kind of different

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Speaker 2: from each other.

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Speaker 3: No, they're definitely different, because the two of you couldn't

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Speaker 3: be more office.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think our versions of the story is different.

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Speaker 5: But we met in Atlanta, she says. I met her

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Speaker 5: in the club, but I don't remember meeting her because

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Speaker 5: our friends knew each other. So on the way home,

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Speaker 5: their car broke down in front of my house. So

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Speaker 5: I saw them and they looked hot and thirsty because

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Speaker 5: they would trying to change a tire. So I just

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Speaker 5: asked if they needed help, if they wanted to sit

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Speaker 5: inside before the tow truck came.

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Speaker 3: And that's how its very nice of you, Yaya. It

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Speaker 3: must have been before nine pm when you did that.

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Speaker 2: Actually it was probably around one am. Oh oh, so so.

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Speaker 3: It must have been another flips to do and all

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Speaker 3: that happens.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so we eventually went out on a date.

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Speaker 5: Did she tell you the first time we went out

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Speaker 5: a date, well, the first time I went out a date,

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Speaker 5: Sam left her.

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Speaker 2: She left her money.

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Speaker 5: Apparently she didn't have any money, so I had to

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Speaker 5: I left my wallet because I knew I wasn't paying.

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Speaker 3: Of course not. I mean, no, no, you're not gonna pay.

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Speaker 5: Hello, that's what I thought too, But I ended up

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Speaker 5: having to pay because Sam couldn't buy me my slice

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Speaker 5: of pizza. Oh, so I had to call my friend like, hey,

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Speaker 5: can you go to my house and go get my

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Speaker 5: wallet and bring my wallet to me?

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Speaker 2: So he was like, aren't you on a date?

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Speaker 5: And I'm like, yeah, bitch, I am on a date,

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Speaker 5: but come bring me my wallet. So from that day

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Speaker 5: for it, he didn't like Sam at all.

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Speaker 3: He hated or would.

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Speaker 2: I, But I loved her. She was so cool.

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Speaker 3: But I'm surprised that you were okay with that because

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Speaker 3: that doesn't seem like something you're down with.

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Speaker 2: It's not.

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Speaker 5: But she was so charismatic, she was so funny, she

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Speaker 5: was so sweet.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why. She just won me over.

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Speaker 3: And then what happened. She fucked me right after the pizza.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much.

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Speaker 3: So that's like, okay, anyone who's listening that would be like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I had a date who didn't have any money, and

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Speaker 3: then the next thing you do is go home to

401
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Speaker 3: fuck that person.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I knew if she was broke, then

403
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Speaker 5: she probably had some good, good moves.

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Speaker 3: Well, because I remember you guys having sex on my terrorists.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: We did not have.

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Speaker 3: We did not.

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Speaker 2: We did not.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they did did. They were up every night till

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Speaker 3: five am. We were talking and talking and then I yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then when y'all, y'all wants it, she needs to

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Speaker 3: get it right away, and then she goes.

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Speaker 2: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

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Speaker 2: But we did not have. Till you hears, we did

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Speaker 2: not have.

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Speaker 5: They had sex in their bedroom. Yeah, you probably the terrorists.

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Speaker 5: I'm sure I probably would have, but we did not.

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Speaker 5: That would have been a good memory, though. But your

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Speaker 5: window was like right there, yeah exactly. Can you imagine.

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Speaker 3: I would have been like, hey, guys, can keep it down,

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Speaker 3: can you keep it down please? Okay, So then you

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Speaker 3: guys were together for how like a period of time?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we were together for a minute, and then I

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Speaker 5: did some shady shit.

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Speaker 3: This is this SPAN's like seventeen years, right, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: seventeen there's a relationship.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so we were young. So at the time Sam

428
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Speaker 5: says we were together. I say we weren't together. We

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Speaker 5: were dating other people. But she says that we were exclusive.

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Speaker 5: So this is where it gets cloudy. But also this

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Speaker 5: was like seventeen sixteen years ago. So I say that

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Speaker 5: we were freely dating other people. She says that we

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Speaker 5: were committed and I dated someone else and then she

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Speaker 5: found out about it, and then so we stopped talking.

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Speaker 5: And then I started, well, we were always friends about

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Speaker 5: this process, so it was like she really, we really

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Speaker 5: didn't stop talking. We just stopped talking in that capacity.

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Speaker 5: So then she started dating other people.

439
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 3: But what was that like wasn't that tinged with like

440
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,080
Speaker 3: jealousy and feelings?

441
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 2: Absolutely?

442
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 5: Because every time she started dating someone that she would

443
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,320
Speaker 5: go out on dates and now we didn't care. But

444
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,159
Speaker 5: then when she would start like repeating the dates, it

445
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 5: was like, that's a problem. You're going out with the

446
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 5: same person again. So then I would have to break

447
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 5: that up. So then it was just a lot of

448
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,000
Speaker 5: back and forth. It was a lot of that you

449
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 5: break that up. Oh, I would just go see her

450
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 5: fuck that up. She cut me off completely cold turkey

451
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 5: because she said I was toxic, and then she ran

452
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 5: off and got married and blocked me from everything.

453
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 3: Why did she think you were toxic?

454
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 5: I was in Atlanta, I was in black Gay Mecca,

455
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,480
Speaker 5: so I was outside.

456
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,240
Speaker 2: Okay. Also I had money, so it was It's just

457
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,520
Speaker 2: like I was in a free for all. So it

458
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,640
Speaker 2: was fun. I was having fun.

459
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 5: And there's a lot of pussy, not a lot of

460
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 5: well no, not a lot of pussy.

461
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 4: But I was.

462
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 3: I bet you what about guys? Were you feeling around

463
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,440
Speaker 3: with guys at all? Just no, I'm you've been done

464
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 3: with men for a long time. Yeah, well yeah I

465
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 3: was done with men.

466
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, basically I want I'm done.

467
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 3: Okay, So you broke up and then what what drew

468
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 3: you back together?

469
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,879
Speaker 5: She got married fast forward, like a year or two later,

470
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 5: after she's been buried for Yeah. We were still friends though,

471
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 5: but I did not pursue her. She didn't pursue me.

472
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 5: She was really into her marriage, and so I was like, Okay,

473
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 5: if this is where you want to go, girl, that's fine.

474
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 3: But you know, were devastated.

475
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 5: I was devastated, but I always knew that we were

476
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 5: going to be together, so I wasn't really pressed.

477
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 3: You really believe that even though she was married to

478
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:47,520
Speaker 3: someone else. Yes, because a normal person yah yah when

479
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 3: that happens when the other person gets married, would be like, oh,

480
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 3: I guess our relationship is over.

481
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: No, I didn't think that at all.

482
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 5: And now that I'm watching this show she put me

483
00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 5: onto this show what is called scandal. Now that I'm

484
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,160
Speaker 5: watching Scandal, I kind of understand it because I always

485
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,719
Speaker 5: knew it was just like that's my person.

486
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,159
Speaker 2: Like I knew she was being crazy.

487
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 5: I knew she was being wild, and I also knew

488
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,399
Speaker 5: I was getting my karma back from the food I

489
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 5: was doing. And also when she wanted to commit and

490
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,719
Speaker 5: settle down, I told her no, who was so like, Okay,

491
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,239
Speaker 5: I get it, but play this out. You know this

492
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 5: is not gonna work. So I'll let you do this

493
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 5: and be dumb and then when you're ready, come home.

494
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 5: And that's what happened. Because she was in New York.

495
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 5: She ended up doing New York Comedy Festival. And I

496
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 5: was in New York at the same time doing Victoria's

497
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 5: Secret Fashion doing Victoria's Secret and New York Fashion Week,

498
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 5: so we were in New York at the same time.

499
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 5: So I hit her up and I was like, hey,

500
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 5: do you want to grab a drink so we could

501
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 5: see each other and talk because we haven't spoken really

502
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 5: since she had gotten married. And we met at the

503
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 5: seller a matter of fact, and I was like in

504
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 5: twenty and fifteen or twenty fourteen, and we talked at

505
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 5: the seller and after we talked, I was like.

506
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 2: She coming home. So I knew she was coming home.

507
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 3: That's cute. That's a cute story. It's a hot mess

508
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 3: of a story.

509
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,400
Speaker 2: Oh it is. It's like it's Ghetto's Hill. But there's

510
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 2: a lot of ups and down. That's a lot of Yeah,

511
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: but we're we've made it through and now we're engaged.

512
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when's the wedding going to because I really

513
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,159
Speaker 3: would like to not miss that.

514
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna come to the wedding?

515
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna come to the wedding. And

516
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 3: you want me to come to the wedding.

517
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 2: You seem like you're a good time. Oh yeah, I heard.

518
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 3: Seem like I'm a good time. You've hung out with me,

519
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 3: I am a good that is true.

520
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 5: But no, I'm saying like in those kind of settings

521
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,359
Speaker 5: because somebody was telling me. I think it was the

522
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 5: guy he was really really sweet. He was telling me

523
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,880
Speaker 5: that you were at Bruce Springsting's concert and you were

524
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 5: like making drinks at the after party.

525
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 2: You became like the bartender. Yeah, and I was like,

526
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 2: that sounds like a good time. I wish I was there.

527
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that was a good time.

528
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 2: So I would like I would like for you to come.

529
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 3: Okay, well I will, I will, I will come.

530
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 2: I will commit is a formal invitation?

531
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, maybe I should officiate the wedding. Maybe you

532
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 3: should be nice. I've already done it once, have you.

533
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 6: Yeah?

534
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 3: I did it. Well.

535
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 5: Michael Ja was supposed to, but he's so anti weddings.

536
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 5: I don't know if he's going to do it.

537
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 3: Oh really yeah, we'll see if he If he's not available,

538
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 3: i'll do it. Okay, So we're gonna take a quick

539
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 3: break and we'll be right back. And now we're back, Catherine,

540
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,880
Speaker 3: what do we have for yah y'all today? I can't

541
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,400
Speaker 3: wait for this.

542
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 1: So many things. We have a boob related question. And yeah, yeah,

543
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 1: you're in good company with this boob question because.

544
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 2: I see because I got boom.

545
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: I'm the same way. I'm the same way.

546
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 2: And Chelsea's got big question.

547
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 7: I don't.

548
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 3: I have big boobs, but those are like extra.

549
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 2: No, you have perfect booths.

550
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you.

551
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 2: I would agree with that if you have break New

552
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 2: York tits.

553
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 3: What are New York tits?

554
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 2: You don't remember that from Chappelle?

555
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 3: No, what does that mean?

556
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 5: He would walk around with the guy and they would stand,

557
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 5: they would put a sticker on bitches titties and like,

558
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 5: you got great New York booths.

559
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 2: I don't know.

560
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 3: I don't segment. It's funny, but yeah, y'alls are enormous,

561
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 3: and Catherine, yours are enormous. Yeah, so we're prepared. We

562
00:21:54,160 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 3: can come on, We're tis, We're prepared to field these questions.

563
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: Amazing. Well, our first question now comes from Alyssa.

564
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 3: And all of ours are natural? Yes, right, yeah, yeah,

565
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 3: mine are natural.

566
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 2: Yours are not natural.

567
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: Hey, I showed you them. They are natural. I do

568
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 3: not have fake tits. You don't know they're real.

569
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 2: You have really good boobs, like really great boobs.

570
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 3: I know, thank you. That's why I did not know that. Well,

571
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 3: that's why I had to say, because I didn't know

572
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 3: if New York titties meant fake titties. No, oh no,

573
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 3: they're not fake. I don't have fake tits.

574
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 1: Oh you know, they're like big and perky.

575
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 3: I have to constantly announce this to the public because

576
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 3: they look they're so perfect.

577
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 2: They look fake.

578
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 3: It is ridiculous that I have these boobs. I mean,

579
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 3: I'm so excited about them now. I used to be

580
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,719
Speaker 3: really annoyed by them. Yeah, because they came on when

581
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 3: I was thirteen. I was a little bit much for

582
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 3: a thirteen year old, especially when nobody else had little titties.

583
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 3: So I had to like tape them down. And now

584
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 3: i've you know, now, if I embraced them obviously and

585
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 3: so as the rest of the world.

586
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 5: If I had boobs like that, I would just wear

587
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 5: a spaghetti strap all day every day.

588
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 3: Say your tit's flying around.

589
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: Yes, it just takes a lot to hold these up

590
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: like it's just act right, it does.

591
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 3: It fucking hurts your back, is what the problem is.

592
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 3: I don't like when I get those, like, you know,

593
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 3: things on my shoulders carved from the bath. Yes that

594
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 3: means yeah, so it's not always.

595
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 5: Too much if I take this bra off, is swing low,

596
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 5: sweet cheeriot? And I just no, ma'am.

597
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 4: Well.

598
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: Our first question about boobs comes from Alyssa Dear Chelsea,

599
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: I'm in a dilemma about whether to pursue a breast reduction.

600
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,199
Speaker 1: The reasons I want one are my girls make running

601
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 1: something that's important for my physical and mental health annoying

602
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 1: because I have to wear this nasty ass uncomfy sports bra,

603
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 1: and spontaneous running, like chasing my nieces around, is painful.

604
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: Shopping for tops and dresses is something I avoid because

605
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: I'm pigeonholed into limited options that fit my boobs but

606
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 1: not the rest of me. I just like the attention

607
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: they draw, and I envy the Itty Bitty Titty Committee

608
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: for being able to walk around and skippy tops care

609
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: free while I'm dealing with all sorts of boob tape

610
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: and readjusting back pain. And two women in my life

611
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 1: have gotten a breast reduction and claim it one of

612
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,159
Speaker 1: the best things they've ever done. Obviously, that's a dramatic claim,

613
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: but who doesn't love drama. The reasons I'm hesitant undergoing

614
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 1: a technically unnecessary procedure feels unnecessary. I've had other surgeries,

615
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 1: so I'm not afraid, but there's always risk as well

616
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 1: as precious PTO to consider. I've worked really hard to

617
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 1: love my body, and this feels like a type of

618
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: betrayal toward her, while women with even larger breasts thrive

619
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 1: and manage to love their beautiful bodies without changing a thing.

620
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 3: Just get a breast reduction. This is going on and

621
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 3: on and on. I mean what I know?

622
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,719
Speaker 1: I don't, but she said she feels like opposing polls

623
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: to pursue something that could make a positive change, or

624
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 1: to honor her body. And do you think it's possible

625
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 1: to do both?

626
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 3: Alissa, get a breast reduction. You're gonna feel better about

627
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 3: yourself and don't care about honoring your body. Do you

628
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 3: know how many unnecessary procedures I get? Like, I do

629
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: a lot of elective things that I don't need to do,

630
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 3: and I'm always happy about it. Same exactly. I know

631
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 3: you're talking to two people that are pro surgery.

632
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, cut me up, lay me on the table. I'm

633
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 2: all for.

634
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 3: I came from physical therapy and they had to dream

635
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 3: my knee a little because there's still some swelling from

636
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 3: my surgery. And I go, so, how frequently can I

637
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 3: drain my knee? And they're like, well, you don't ever

638
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 3: really want to put needles in your knee unless it's

639
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 3: absolutely necessary. I'm like, no, bitch, I have no problem

640
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 3: fucking putting needles in my knees all day long if

641
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 3: it's gonna help me ski, I don't give a shit.

642
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 3: She's like, and I go, what's wide. There's always a

643
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 3: risk of infection. I'm like, bitch, I don't care about

644
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 3: that risk. That's what antibiotics are for infection.

645
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: And you love to take piels cut those tits? Yeah

646
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: you think so?

647
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, it's just like it's a nicer lifestyle when

648
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 3: you feel better about your body. It's just nicer.

649
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 5: Absolutely. And she's not betraying like she needs to cut

650
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 5: those tits. I'm cutt my tits.

651
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 2: Cut them? Are you you are?

652
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 1: I'm curious what your decision making was around that.

653
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: I don't want big titties.

654
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 4: E why.

655
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:45,880
Speaker 3: I'm sick of it.

656
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 2: I'm over it.

657
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 5: And I would like to wear a spaghetti strap, okay,

658
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 5: I would like to go bralas.

659
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 2: I want to walk around like Chelsea.

660
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and I know last year in Mayorka, a

661
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: couple of the girls had had reductions and they had

662
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: kind of like like big still but like perky, and

663
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, even though they've gotten a little

664
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: bit bigger since the reduction, they've stayed.

665
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 5: Everybody says they come back. Every time that I know

666
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 5: that has a breast productions say they come back in some.

667
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 3: Co Yeah, they do. They do. And so when you

668
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 3: get a reduction, you have to do more than you

669
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 3: think you should because they do grow back. So then

670
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,120
Speaker 3: you're like, well, then the girls like, why the fuck

671
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 3: do I get the reduction? If they're going to grow back, just.

672
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 2: Go a little smaller than what you Yeah.

673
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 3: I think when you when you make your body like

674
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 3: more agreeable to like your whole like practical lifestyle, you

675
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 3: step into your body even more like, you become more

676
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 3: like because you're more confident and you feel more secure.

677
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 3: And it's just a nicer way to go through life

678
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 3: rather than having some like an onus on.

679
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,120
Speaker 5: Your chest right and insecurity. And also she can run

680
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 5: believe that. God, yeah, look at them. Yes, those look

681
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 5: fake they yes grassy. And those kitties on surgery pages,

682
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 5: Oh my.

683
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 3: God, I should sell that actor, I should sell them.

684
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 3: You should want to. Yeah, those are not separate, people

685
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 3: are nice.

686
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 5: I can't do that. It would take me too long

687
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 5: to hoisten them back up. I didn't see it.

688
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 3: Oh, it's like having a bra Okay, okay.

689
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well our next question is slightly more sober.

690
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,160
Speaker 3: Sober What does sober mean?

691
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 1: Well, you know, just a little more serious than okay,

692
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: boot questions, but not too too serious. They're very fun.

693
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: So Sarah and Ethan are here, They say, Dear Chelsea.

694
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: Sarah was the one who originally wrote in so she says,

695
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, my husband is transgender. We got married before

696
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: his transition, and since then all my friends and family

697
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: have been supportive and welcomed his authenticity with open arms. However,

698
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: in light of the recent unfortunate political climate, I have

699
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: a few people in my life, my stepsister and brother

700
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: in law, as well as my best friend's husband, who

701
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 1: still don't understand the repercussions of voting Republican and how

702
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: that directly affects our life. My husband is very confrontational

703
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: and outspoken, and there have been some heated discussions surrounding

704
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: this issue, to which my family responds, can we just

705
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: not talk about politics? When clearly to us this isn't political,

706
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: it's our lives. What do I do with these family

707
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 1: members since they can't seem to be reasoned with and

708
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,880
Speaker 1: seemingly continue to vote against my spouse's right to exist.

709
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: Sarah and Ethan.

710
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 8: Ethan, I so excited to meet you guys, you.

711
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 3: As well, Okay, So yeah, that's so fucking annoying. I mean,

712
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 3: it is so frustrating when you have family members that

713
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 3: do not understand. I just don't understand how people communicate

714
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 3: with their family members when they disagree politically like that,

715
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 3: because that you're right, it isn't a political issue and

716
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 3: it shouldn't even be a governmental issue what you do

717
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 3: with your body. It's so fucking infuriating. But I like

718
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 3: to cause a lot of stir So my advice, like

719
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 3: you know, especially with family and when it's someone you

720
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 3: love and that someone they love. Ostensibly, I would just

721
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 3: put up like I would be like, listen, we're not

722
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 3: gonna I mean, I'm of the thinking to just like

723
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 3: shut them down. You're not even going to spend time

724
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 3: with them until they, you know, come around. Would you

725
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 3: agree with that?

726
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was said boundaries.

727
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 5: If they can't respect you in you and your place

728
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 5: in your marriage and who you are as a person,

729
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 5: then they don't need to be around you.

730
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 2: You don't need that type of.

731
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 5: Negativity in your life, Like why even bring that into

732
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 5: your fold and into your marriage, Like no, yeah, it's really.

733
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 7: Hard to set the boundary because we are a blended

734
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 7: family and there has been some I guess some issues

735
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 7: with our other sister to where we don't have a

736
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:25,959
Speaker 7: relationship anymore.

737
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 8: The whole family doesn't have a relationship with the sister.

738
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 8: So it is like why why, oh god, that's a

739
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 8: whole nother.

740
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 2: But that's fine.

741
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 7: There is with our dad and her that just didn't

742
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 7: work out and now they don't speak.

743
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, so this would be like the second the second

744
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 6: one that we asked from the family dynamic.

745
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: And okay, that's the problem.

746
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 3: But wait a second. Wait, your family and your dad

747
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,239
Speaker 3: and your sister don't speak, so you didn't ask your

748
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: sister they did, right.

749
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's true the first one. Yes, that's yeah, what

750
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 6: do you mean.

751
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 3: It didn't work out with your sister, her and your father?

752
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: I need some details, like.

753
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 2: What do you mean? That's a little weird. But also

754
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 2: your sister.

755
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 5: If you cut them out, your sister, you may rekindle

756
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 5: that relationship and realize that she's the better person for

757
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 5: you to be in your life if she respects.

758
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 3: Well, we have to hear about the sister. First, you

759
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 3: give us, just give us like a quick you know

760
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 3: overview that overview yeaes synopsis.

761
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 7: They always just kind of butted heads and it came

762
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 7: to fruition one day and it almost got physical to

763
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 7: where my dad had to threaten to call the police

764
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 7: if she didn't back off. So from then on they

765
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 7: didn't speak and we we the rest of the family

766
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 7: got cut by her by association, so we didn't cut

767
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 7: her out.

768
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 8: She kind of asked.

769
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 3: Everyone, okay, okay, okay, after.

770
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 6: This under the yeah and this is the this is

771
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 6: so now what we're dealing with is like the second sister, right, and.

772
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 3: We're perfect timing then so that they can get a

773
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 3: clue that they're the fucking problem.

774
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 6: Yeah. I tend I tend to go. I've learned a

775
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 6: lot that like, not all conflict is bad, especially recently,

776
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 6: and that there's a lot of like self protection that

777
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 6: maybe could be and should be done. So this my

778
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 6: approach has been like I don't I don't need to

779
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 6: I don't need to talk to them. It's such a

780
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 6: complicated relationship with in laws, right and with families.

781
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: And I know, but it's like a it's like a

782
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 3: direct lack of respect for your for you and your safety. Yeah,

783
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 3: that's it. That's the only sentence you need to know. Like,

784
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 3: they are not respecting that your safety is threatened by

785
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: Republican lawmakers, and like and as long and if they

786
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 3: don't care about your safety, then what the hell are

787
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 3: you doing spending time with them?

788
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: That's well said.

789
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 7: I want to do everything possible to avoid I think,

790
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 7: losing this relationship because it is the only sibling that

791
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 7: I have left. So is there anything that you would like?

792
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 7: I know you're a huge proponent of writing an email

793
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 7: in a letter.

794
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, well wait, so you want to salvage the relationship

795
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: with your sister, not your parents, the second sister.

796
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 5: So also, the parents aren't the problem is this second system?

797
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 8: Oh no, no, my parents are.

798
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,479
Speaker 2: Oh it's the other sister.

799
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 3: Oh oh no, Well she wants to salvage it. Yeah, yeah,

800
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 3: because she lost her other sister. I think you know what, Yes,

801
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 3: I am a big fan of an email, and I

802
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 3: think you can lay it out to your other sisters.

803
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: So she's the Republican the other sister. Yes, okay, so

804
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 3: that's problematic. Yes? And does she mar is she married to.

805
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 8: Someone who's also of the same mind as she well.

806
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 3: Of course, of course, so they go together one is it.

807
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 3: You know, Republican women are usually there because their husband's

808
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 3: told them to be right. But I think that you

809
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 3: can write her a letter and express like, I really

810
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 3: don't want our relationship to devolve in the same way

811
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 3: that your your relationship has devolved with your other sister, right,

812
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,239
Speaker 3: because then she's going to lose two of you. And

813
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: lay it out in the most human, most humane way,

814
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: like we are talking about the safety and protection of

815
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 3: the person that I am married to, and you were

816
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 3: talking about voting for someone who is never ever going

817
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 3: to protect their rights, my husband's rights. So that's very,

818
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 3: very hard pill for me to swallow. I would love

819
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 3: for us to be able to like figure this out,

820
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: but it's starting to feel like, you know, I'm going

821
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 3: to lose another sister, and you got to meet me

822
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 3: somewhere in the middle there.

823
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 6: You know.

824
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 3: I don't know you can make somebody vote for a Democrat, you.

825
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 5: Know, but like nobody even if not, they can respect

826
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 5: them and not mention it in their presence. And if

827
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 5: they can't even do that, then I think that you

828
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 5: just have to protect yourself. And I feel like you

829
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 5: should also try to reach out to your sister to

830
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 5: cut you off and try to rekindle that relationship. I

831
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 5: do too, So then you won't even if you lose

832
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 5: out on the other sister, you still got the good one.

833
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 3: Is that good is she? Is she a good one?

834
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 3: The sister that got in a fight with your father

835
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 3: or what she is?

836
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 8: It's questionable. It's worth looking in.

837
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 6: It is worth It is worth not you know, locking shut.

838
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 3: No, And it's not good to lock shut anyway, because

839
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 3: you know what that is, your sister. Everyone goes through

840
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 3: difficult times in their lives, and people get better and

841
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 3: people recover. Not everybody, but a lot of people. Do

842
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: I know, I've learned and grown and changed throughout my life.

843
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 3: I'm sure you feel the same way. Yeah, yeah, And

844
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 3: like you know, mistakes you make necessarily you wouldn't necessarily

845
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 3: repeat in the future. And so it's worth just checking

846
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 3: in with her and like just reinforcing the fact that

847
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 3: she's your sister, you love her, you will always be sisters,

848
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 3: and if she ever wants to reach out, and she

849
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 3: ever wants to talk, you're always there for her. There's

850
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,919
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with putting that out into the universe. That's

851
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 3: good vibes and that's good energy. And if she comes back, great,

852
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 3: and you might catch her when she is ready to

853
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 3: talk to you. And maybe she's not ready to go

854
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 3: and be around your parents, But that doesn't mean you

855
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 3: can't have a relationship with her, right.

856
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 8: That's kind of how I've always felt about that.

857
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 7: I think I just maybe need to remind her that

858
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 7: I'm of that stance, because I think it all gets

859
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 7: lost when there's drama.

860
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, and people do things in the heat

861
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 3: of the moment that you know they wouldn't do ten

862
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 3: years later, or five years later, even six months later.

863
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, people change.

864
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 5: Can I ask, does it bother you their political affiliation

865
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 5: or does it bother you that they're vocal about it

866
00:34:58,440 --> 00:34:59,240
Speaker 5: in your presence?

867
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 8: So they're not really vocal about it in our presence.

868
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 6: They actually refuse, they refuse to talk to talk about it.

869
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 6: And I think it's because logically, I mean, I'm a

870
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:12,760
Speaker 6: pretty good talker, so they're not gonna.

871
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 2: So they're never disrespectful to you in your presence.

872
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 6: No, No, I mean they've asked silly questions like in moments,

873
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 6: but like they're learning social media, it's their social media presence.

874
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 5: And oh okay, well maybe if you continue to educate them,

875
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 5: because if people don't know, sometimes they're just ignorant.

876
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 2: So maybe if you continue to, you know, just talk.

877
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 5: To them and educate them on who you are, your story,

878
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 5: your plight, and the things that go on with you. You

879
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 5: don't know that you may change your perspective. So you

880
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 5: may not even have to cut her off.

881
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: To Yeah, and I don't know if you've got a

882
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: chance to tell us to our Skylar Baylor episode. But

883
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: his book They Ha Yes has some really really good

884
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,760
Speaker 1: methods for communicating with loved ones, and especially like asking

885
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: questions at these moments that could get very confrontational and

886
00:35:57,719 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: say look, well here's what I think, here's what you think,

887
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: where people automatically go in this defensive mode. He's got

888
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 1: some good tricks in there for like asking questions like

889
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: why do you think that? And so I would definitely

890
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: recommend maybe if you haven't already read it, read it.

891
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 6: No, I need It's on my list, but I need

892
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 6: to get I need to get to it.

893
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 7: He's a little bit more of a hostile negotiator. Yeah,

894
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 7: I'm a little level headed, So that's for you.

895
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 3: Ethan yeah. Yeah. I mean I'm assuming your sister and

896
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 3: her husband have like heard how difficult and like arduous

897
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 3: the process of transitioning is, right, that everything that you

898
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 3: have been through, because I find that when people hear that,

899
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 3: it reduces their ability to argue. When people realize that

900
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 3: it's not some like whimsical thing that you just do

901
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 3: and go and like, you know, get surgery to change

902
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: your youth. There's multiple psychological assessments that have to happen.

903
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 3: You can't just go in and get a penis. Like,

904
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, I'm going to a fair and

905
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 3: I think I want to wear a costume. I mean,

906
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 3: that's why I find Republicans don't understand like the actual

907
00:36:58,239 --> 00:36:59,760
Speaker 3: background of what has to happen.

908
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a lot of false information out there, and

909
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 7: I think we have started to share some of that information.

910
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 7: It's just trying to get them to the point of

911
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 7: being receptive and like sitting down and listening and instead

912
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 7: of shutting down or saying I don't want to talk

913
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 7: about politics. You know, that's their that's their pretty immediate response.

914
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 7: So it's just getting them to a place where they

915
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 7: realize it's not political and it shouldn't be political.

916
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 3: It's not politics. You being a transgender is not political.

917
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 3: They're the only party in the country in the world

918
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 3: that is making it political. Well, not in the world.

919
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 3: There are other countries that are also politicizing it. But

920
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, No, no Democrat has a

921
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 3: problem with that. So it's like, why would you actively

922
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 3: be going after people who are not bothering anybody else.

923
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 8: It's a great question.

924
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,320
Speaker 3: What would make you satisfied? Like they have to switch parties?

925
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 8: Yeah, probably, that's how I would force just don't even vote.

926
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, if you yeah, if you can't vote for the

927
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 6: Democratic Democratic candidate, just don't don't vote Republican. I think

928
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 6: it's I think it's like it's this feeling of someone

929
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 6: telling you, I sure, I see you, I'm fine with you,

930
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 6: but then their actions that they're taking outside of that

931
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 6: moment are are a direct contradiction and and so I'm yeah,

932
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 6: that's what's hurtful, is I I want to be like, Okay,

933
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 6: you can say whatever you want, but if you are

934
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 6: actively voting against my rights as an equal human being,

935
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 6: I just don't believe you.

936
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have a problem with that too. I'm

937
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: with you, but I do think you should reach out

938
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 3: to the other sister and then do and I think

939
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,439
Speaker 3: you should email your other sister and you know, work

940
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:32,959
Speaker 3: both of those things at the same time.

941
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: Or you could just send her this podcast.

942
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 8: I know I thought about that. I could like this episode.

943
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 8: I'd be pretty eye opening.

944
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's actually a good idea too.

945
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 6: Because I'm sure they don't know the turmoil or like

946
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 6: the difficulty we have on our end.

947
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 2: Oh so you I've never discussed You've never spoke about it.

948
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 6: I've tried, and the response is we don't talk about that.

949
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 8: It just gets shut down real fast.

950
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 3: So that's something you should mention in the letter. Just

951
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 3: go imagine trying to share yourself with like this is

952
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 3: my husband. Imagine trying to share your husband wants to

953
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 3: share any of his personal belief systems or history or

954
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 3: anything like that, and not being willing to sit and

955
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 3: listen to it is very obstinate. You're not compromising. That's

956
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 3: like I'm set in my narrow minded way and the

957
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 3: only vision I see is the only one that there is,

958
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 3: And yeah, that is problematic. To actually evolve and grow,

959
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 3: like that's the whole point of being alive is to

960
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 3: change and evolve, you know, and learn and have your

961
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 3: opinions challenged.

962
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, I agree.

963
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 7: I think expressing that one of our biggest desires is

964
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 7: just to be heard and then actually, like you said,

965
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 7: possibly playing her in this episode because I don't think

966
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 7: she also knows how much it does weigh on us,

967
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 7: just this topic of the our relationship.

968
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, Well that's good. Let us know,

969
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 3: keep us posted and let us know how it goes.

970
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 3: I will, all right, you guys, take care. I have

971
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 3: a great day, A good afternoon.

972
00:39:54,239 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 1: Bye bye, Alex says dear Chelsea. I'm in an emotionally

973
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 1: distant marriage and questioning my sexuality. I'm a thirty eight

974
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: year old woman married to a man for nine years,

975
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: together for eleven. We have a five year old son together.

976
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: Over the course of the pandemic, I was at home

977
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: with our son and my husband worked a lot of overtime.

978
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: He's a first responder and felt responsibility to help. We'd

979
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: both stopped focusing on our relationships since our son was born,

980
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: and the pandemic served to magnify that. We've also both

981
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 1: dealt with some depression at times since then. I've been

982
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: bothered by our diminished connection, both emotional and physical. He

983
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 1: agrees there's a lack of connection, but does nothing about it.

984
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,439
Speaker 1: I'm going to skip forward a little bit. They've done

985
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: a little bit of therapy, but she sort of still

986
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: feels like she's the only one who's doing anything. We've

987
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 1: got a lot of love for each other, but at

988
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: this point, I'm wondering if I'm nearing my limit. Another

989
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 1: layer to all of this. After years of counseling on

990
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: my own, I've come to accept about myself that I'm

991
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: attracted to women. At the time of writing this, my

992
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: husband is not aware. It's increasingly on my mind, and

993
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm endlessly curious about being physical with another woman. Since

994
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 1: I'm asking for a more emotionally open relationship with him,

995
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 1: do I owe him that information, especially if I feel

996
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 1: like it's holding me back from being completely myself with him.

997
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,800
Speaker 1: Our sex life is virtually non existent at this point,

998
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: yet another topic we don't talk about unless I bring

999
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 1: it up. Initially, I thought working on our connection and

1000
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: therapy would help me feel romantic toward him again and

1001
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: the attraction to women would fade. But that doesn't seem

1002
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: to be happening. How to proceed Alex mm.

1003
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, what do you think I think she needs

1004
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 5: to bring that bitch in the bedroom. I think if

1005
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 5: she popped up puss in the bedroom, they marriage may spice.

1006
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 2: It up a little bit.

1007
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 3: She wants him to thrutle up. That might not be

1008
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:47,280
Speaker 3: a bad idea.

1009
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 5: Actually, I think that then it'll bring It'll add some spice.

1010
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 5: He'll probably be more engaged. But she has to be

1011
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 5: honest with her feelings, Like she's like, oh, I don't

1012
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 5: want to tell him, but she has to be honest

1013
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 5: and disclosed that she has an attraction to women, and

1014
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 5: then he may be like, Okay, bring that bitchit.

1015
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. Or if she was going to say, explore

1016
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 3: her feelings for a woman without her husband, and that's cheating, Okay,

1017
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 3: so she can't do that.

1018
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 2: No, that's cheating.

1019
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 3: That's so do you think she should give her a

1020
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,760
Speaker 3: husband the heads up that she's having a feelings for women.

1021
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, she has to be honest about that, m M.

1022
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 5: Because I mean, if that's where she wants to go,

1023
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 5: then he has the right to know that. Yeah, he

1024
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 5: has the right to know that, regardless if they stay

1025
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 5: together and not. You know, he has the right to

1026
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 5: before she steps. She can't just search to be like

1027
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 5: I think, I like, bit, just let me go chat it.

1028
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 5: So she that's cheating, that's dishonest. So she needs to

1029
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 5: be honest with her husband, especially if that's her life

1030
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 5: partner then she chose and they have a kid together.

1031
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 3: M h yeah, I would say that the first. The

1032
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 3: first what's going to happen is you're going to tell

1033
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 3: your husband that you did that, that you're feeling this

1034
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 3: way about women. He's going to say, let's bring someone

1035
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,720
Speaker 3: into the bedroom. You're going to do that. You're gonna

1036
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 3: like that, and that'll happen for a few times or

1037
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 3: you know, maybe months or whatever, and you'll enjoy that,

1038
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 3: and then you're gonna want to just be with women

1039
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 3: and not be with your husband.

1040
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 2: Ya think you'll be cowes.

1041
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 3: That's what fucking happens. I mean, I think it's very

1042
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 3: common for women who have been married for a long

1043
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 3: time to start thinking about being not heterosexual.

1044
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 2: You think so.

1045
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 3: I think it's hats trending. A lot of women are

1046
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 3: turning towards the pussy.

1047
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 1: A lot, I mean, and with good reason.

1048
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, men are pretty you know, they can

1049
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 3: be pretty disappointing and they're not all disappointing. I'm not

1050
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 3: saying that because there are a lot of men. I

1051
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 3: went out on date with a guy last night that

1052
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 3: was adorable and sweet and just you know, nice and

1053
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 3: totally fuckable, and he was a nice guy. But I'm

1054
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to spend that amount of time with anybody.

1055
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 3: And I think when you're with a straight guy, like,

1056
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 3: you know, the sheine wears off pretty quickly unless you're

1057
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 3: communicating and you know, and men seem to, like, I

1058
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 3: don't know, there seems to be this thing with women

1059
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 3: when they're married to a man for over ten years,

1060
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 3: especially when they have kids, like then you're fucked mostly,

1061
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,720
Speaker 3: you know, not everybody. I mean, there are happy marriages

1062
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: which children, but a lot of people, a lot of

1063
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,280
Speaker 3: the happiest marriages are people who don't have children together

1064
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,240
Speaker 3: or they're on their second marriage and they've had children

1065
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 3: with someone else then, and they can have that. But

1066
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 3: I think that there's a like men stop emotionally growing,

1067
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 3: or maybe they get stunted, or they're stunted to begin with,

1068
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 3: and maybe maybe women don't catch it in the beginning

1069
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 3: because they're so in love and then ten years go by.

1070
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 3: And you're like, well, wait, this isn't fulfilling enough because

1071
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 3: I'm emotionally attuned and in tune with myself. So yeah,

1072
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,760
Speaker 3: I think it's very common, but I think the writing's

1073
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 3: on the wall of what's about to happen here. So

1074
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, go get some pussy girl and

1075
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 3: bring it to the bedroom. Yeah, and then but.

1076
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 5: If you want to be mostly attached to a woman,

1077
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 5: she needs to know it ain't that much better over here.

1078
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 3: Really, Oh come on, Like I love like I'm.

1079
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 5: In love with her, but also like if she's because

1080
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 5: the first woman she's going to be with, she's going

1081
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:49,800
Speaker 5: to be in love with them, and she's going to

1082
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 5: get her heart broken, she's going to feel like that,

1083
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 5: Like she just needs to prepare herself. Like everybody thinks

1084
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 5: the grass is always greener on the other side. That's

1085
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 5: all I'm saying, is just not always true.

1086
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 3: Well, but you're not are you not emotionally attached? You're

1087
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 3: emotionally attached?

1088
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying, well, like if she's

1089
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 5: been with this man for ten years and she's like, oh,

1090
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 5: he's not giving me what I want, She's gonna be

1091
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 5: with a bitch the first couple. She's gonna have to

1092
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 5: eat a few pussies before she found one it fits,

1093
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 5: so she's good.

1094
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 2: They're not gonna be emotionally attached to her.

1095
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 5: Either, so she may think that it's just gonna be

1096
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 5: so great and they're gonna be emostly attached and they're

1097
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 5: just gonna instantly connect. And it's not like that she

1098
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 5: has to find her person. It's not necessarily wrapped up in.

1099
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 3: Whether it's a matter or Yes, I agree with that.

1100
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 3: I agree with that, like, yeah, maybe it is a

1101
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 3: man or a woman because it's you're just not fulfilled

1102
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 3: in the relationship you're but either way everything you should

1103
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 3: get some pussies.

1104
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, tell your man and then bring her home.

1105
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 3: This episode's gonna be called pussy pounding.

1106
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 1: I will say she didn't want to call in, but

1107
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 1: I spoke to her aunt. She's very sweet and has

1108
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 1: big softball energy.

1109
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 3: Oh really, yeah, I think. Listen, I have a lot

1110
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: of friends that I think are gay that are in

1111
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 3: heterosexual relationships.

1112
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, not a lot, but I'm certain I will.

1113
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 3: I will, Yeah, I will, but not on the podcast,

1114
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 3: because I'm sure they all are listening.

1115
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: My peters to them.

1116
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 2: So you think if she brings a woman in, they

1117
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 2: would be a feminine woman.

1118
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I just

1119
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: know like my gatar for sure went off when I

1120
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 1: got on the phone with her.

1121
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, she may bring you a girl.

1122
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,800
Speaker 1: I mean it now, I know there's a whole location.

1123
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 3: Thank you, Castine and Brad is exactly what the doctor orders.

1124
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 1: That's true. My husband is also the engineer on this podcast.

1125
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: But sorry, no, it's okay.

1126
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 1: He knows I'm queer. It's fine. But yeah, so I

1127
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 1: think Alex right, and we've have had a conversation with

1128
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: your husband and like, let us know how it goes,

1129
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,439
Speaker 1: or maybe a little further on down the line when

1130
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: you know you have a girlfriend, et cetera.

1131
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, make some changes though. You got to like

1132
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 3: actively pursue what you're looking for to see if that's

1133
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 3: what you really want. And I bet your husband will

1134
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 3: be open to it, is that you do. I would

1135
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 3: probably just I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't

1136
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 3: be in this position because I probably wouldn't get married

1137
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 3: to anyone. You know, so I wouldn't, but I wouldn't.

1138
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:07,439
Speaker 3: I don't.

1139
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,480
Speaker 5: Do you think you would wait ten years, she said

1140
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 5: they would again eleven.

1141
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: Right, yes, yeah, married for nine Keep in mind, you

1142
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: have a kid.

1143
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 2: Do you think you would wait eleven years to stay

1144
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 2: in No?

1145
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:22,320
Speaker 3: No, no, I wouldn't even if you had the kid. No, no,

1146
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 3: not as me as me.

1147
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 2: Well, no, no as Alex.

1148
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know what Alex is like. I mean,

1149
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think

1150
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 3: there's any reason to be unhappy. There's too much going

1151
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 3: on in the world that makes people unhappy. There's too

1152
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 3: many upsetting things. You have to take responsibility for your

1153
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 3: personal life and make sure that you are serving yourself

1154
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 3: up with the things that make you happy. And you

1155
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 3: have to make an intention to actively be happy in

1156
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,280
Speaker 3: the world we're living in, and that is not adding

1157
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 3: to your happiness. So I think you need to make

1158
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 3: a change.

1159
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with Toilphy.

1160
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: All right, Well, we have our last caller and she.

1161
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 3: Just how do you think you're doing so far? Yeah, y'ah,

1162
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 3: I don't really know. Okay, I would give you an

1163
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 3: a yeah, yeah, I mean you're listening. Could be a

1164
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 3: little sharper, but I think the advice is good. Yeah,

1165
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 3: I missed a couple of things.

1166
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 7: There.

1167
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,240
Speaker 3: But that's okay, that's sorry. It's your first time. It's okay,

1168
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:17,479
Speaker 3: it's your first time on the slide.

1169
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 5: I'll have you know by the way, ya y'all. First,

1170
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 5: I dis my first wake up.

1171
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, y'all wakes up twice every morning. Tell them

1172
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 3: your schedule when you wake up.

1173
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 5: My first wake up is between nine and eleven, and

1174
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 5: my second wake up is between one and two. So

1175
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 5: I came on my first wake up. Actually I came

1176
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 5: prior to my first wake up. So that's why I'm

1177
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:37,480
Speaker 5: not as sharp.

1178
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 3: Okay.

1179
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 2: So I'm drinking water. I don't even have coffee.

1180
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,919
Speaker 3: Okay, So why why do you when you wake up

1181
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 3: the first time? Then what happens? You go back to bed?

1182
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I go back to sleep. So you wake up

1183
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 2: for what? How long I wake up? It depends. I

1184
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 2: wake up, I do my morning stuff.

1185
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 5: I wake up, I piss, get Sam some water, check

1186
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 5: on her, and then I laid back down, go to bed. Well,

1187
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 5: I'll scoll through my phone for a little bit it.

1188
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 3: Okay, So you're not really going out or doing anything

1189
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 3: you're first week.

1190
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 5: No, I'm still in I'm still on the first floor.

1191
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 5: I'm still on the on the third floor. I'm not

1192
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 5: leaving the third fel Okay, So then you go back

1193
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 5: to sleep and you wake up the second time, and

1194
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 5: that's that's what my day starts. That's my day'st.

1195
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 3: I've never met anybody who wakes up twice. You know

1196
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 3: what I sometimes do if I'm hungover or if I've

1197
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 3: had a big night, I like to wake up, heat

1198
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 3: up something that's yummy, or get it egg McMuffin from

1199
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 3: McDonald's like something like that. Ideally, although I'm not going

1200
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: to leave the house, take a half a xanax and

1201
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 3: go back to sleep on a full stomach. That's the happiest.

1202
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 2: The xanax doesn't make you wake up.

1203
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 3: No, the xanax as sleep as for me, it's like

1204
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: a sleeping pill. Okay, okay, it's not an upper Oh

1205
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 3: it's not. I've never had it.

1206
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1207
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 3: It's for anxiety. But if you don't have anxiety, it's okay.

1208
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you probably shouldn't take it or you'd

1209
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: be like falling asleep at the club. Like.

1210
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't want to promote xanax or any sort

1211
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 3: of benzodiazepines on these shows. They're addictive and are known

1212
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,919
Speaker 3: to cause you know whatever, dementia. But I'm doing enough

1213
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 3: things to combat the demention from the xanax I'm taking.

1214
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,800
Speaker 3: I'm doing enough things to offset that.

1215
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 1: That's smart.

1216
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 3: So whatever you deplete your body from, you got to

1217
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 3: add it back in. And I know you do.

1218
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 5: I know you know the right formula. Told you a pusher.

1219
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 5: I know the right formula.

1220
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 1: Well, Nicole says. I recently embarked on a nearly four

1221
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: month cross country road trip earlier this year to explore

1222
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,280
Speaker 1: some new places to live. I own a remote business,

1223
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,919
Speaker 1: so I was able to work while traveling. Not only

1224
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 1: did I discover two wonderful options for relocating, but I

1225
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 1: also met my current partner while traveling, and I'm now

1226
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 1: in a committed long distance relationship with him.

1227
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 3: Oh look at you.

1228
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 1: It's going really well. But long distance is hard. I

1229
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 1: did end up moving a few weeks ago to a

1230
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 1: city that's a five hour flight from him. My question

1231
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,400
Speaker 1: for you is, how do I know I made the

1232
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: right choice. The city I moved to has a remote

1233
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: worker incentive program with professional mentorship programs for entrepreneurs and

1234
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 1: a nice chunk of change they pay me to live here.

1235
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: But it's in a red state and doesn't tick some

1236
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: of my boxes, and the other city has all the

1237
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: amenities and culture. I want not to mention it's driving

1238
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 1: distance from my new partner, but it's really expensive and

1239
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: I know I'd struggle to afford living there. Do I

1240
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: choose to focus on my career and set myself up

1241
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: for future success or do I choose to be close

1242
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 1: to my partner in a city that has everything I'm

1243
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 1: looking for but has a hefty price tag.

1244
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 3: Nicole mm oh hei Nikol, How are you hi?

1245
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 7: Hi?

1246
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 3: Why can't your husband come to you? I mean, you're sorry,

1247
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 3: you're soon to be husband. You're a boyfriend. Why can't

1248
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 3: he come to you?

1249
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 4: Well, we've been dating for six months and we have

1250
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 4: talked about it. He has offered. He's a journalist, so

1251
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 4: he can pretty much work from any newspaper. It's just

1252
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 4: a matter of actually making the move.

1253
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 3: So right now, it's a five hour drive to visit him.

1254
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 4: No, he lives in Oregon and I live in Oklahoma.

1255
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 3: Oh, so that's a long distance relationship and you.

1256
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 5: Just recently moved to Oklahoma, right, Yeah, Okay, so if

1257
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 5: you just moved, then he needs to make the next move.

1258
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 4: Yea.

1259
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 3: Yah's very tit for tat. It's a scoreboard with her.

1260
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 3: It's like, bitch, you did this, and now I do this.

1261
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 5: She's already moved to be close a little closer, so

1262
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 5: why can't they compromise?

1263
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 2: And he moved closer to her.

1264
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 3: Listen, it's not fun Oklahoma City. But I would say, like,

1265
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 3: the good thing about living in a red state is

1266
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,839
Speaker 3: that you can have the ability to, like I don't know,

1267
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 3: I always feel like you can change people's minds when

1268
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 3: you're living in that kind of culture, and like it's

1269
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 3: an opportunity for you to like demonstrate your goodwill and

1270
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 3: like your political beliefs and your value system, and it's

1271
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 3: kind of like a nice way to infect all those

1272
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,280
Speaker 3: other red people, you know what I mean, with kindness

1273
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:39,320
Speaker 3: and inject them with kindness and fairness and your beliefs

1274
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 3: on equality and all of that. I know how tough

1275
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 3: it must be to probably be with like lacking that

1276
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 3: kind of culture. But I would say, you know, you

1277
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 3: just made this move, like give yourself an amount of time,

1278
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 3: and if you're still dissatisfied in like, say it's six

1279
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 3: months or it's a year, then you can reassess and

1280
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 3: figure out if I would say your career is more

1281
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 3: important than your relationship at this point, I would say

1282
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 3: that to anyone at any point in the lives. And

1283
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 3: then you know, if you guys are still together in

1284
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 3: six months and you're still hot and heavy, or in

1285
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 3: a year, whatever your time frame, then you can reassess

1286
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 3: and say maybe, okay, maybe now I'm gonna move closer

1287
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 3: to him, or he moves closer to you, but he

1288
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,319
Speaker 3: shouldn't have to move to Oklahoma fucking city.

1289
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1290
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like, that's like not fair.

1291
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 2: I'm just saying I was just trying to give a balance.

1292
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,840
Speaker 2: Since she just moved, do you.

1293
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:23,919
Speaker 3: Feel comfortable giving yourself six months or a year?

1294
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I moved in September, and I told

1295
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 4: myself I'd give myself until March to like evaluate.

1296
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

1297
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:36,280
Speaker 4: So far, like it's just started to benefit my career

1298
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 4: to be here. Like I moved to Tulsa because they

1299
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:39,840
Speaker 4: have a remote worker incentive program.

1300
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 3: Tulsa is cool.

1301
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is cool. I like it so far.

1302
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 3: I have culture there.

1303
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm into it. It's it's different than New Jersey,

1304
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:49,359
Speaker 4: like you were saying.

1305
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's different than New Jersey and it's good

1306
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 3: to get a taste of that. So yeah, so you're

1307
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:53,760
Speaker 3: gonna give yourself till March.

1308
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you know, reevaluate. I know that he

1309
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,240
Speaker 4: is not so sad a with where he lives.

1310
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 3: So well, maybe you guys can find a new city together.

1311
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:07,720
Speaker 3: If you guys are still together in six months, maybe

1312
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 3: you guys can like figure out, like, let's start a

1313
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 3: life together. Let's pick a city where that's gonna suit

1314
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 3: both of your needs. And that's an adventure too. I

1315
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 3: would just look at Oklahoma City as not your permanent

1316
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 3: place of living. I would just say, sorry, Tilsa, I

1317
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 3: think you should enjoy your time there, soak it up,

1318
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 3: meet as many people as you can, try to change

1319
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,480
Speaker 3: as many minds as you can, and then and just

1320
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 3: think of it as a temporary part of your life.

1321
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 3: How old are you thirty? Yeah? Oh yeah, what of

1322
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 3: course you could spend three years there and I wouldn't

1323
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,760
Speaker 3: make a dent in your life.

1324
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I really don't feel too much time pressure.

1325
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 4: This is the best relationship I've been in, so it's

1326
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 4: definitely I have I feel confident that it can go

1327
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 4: the distance.

1328
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 2: But it's just you seem really in love. You seem

1329
00:54:56,239 --> 00:55:02,399
Speaker 2: really happy. I know, Bless, that's so cute.

1330
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 4: Just reflecting yesterday about the year and I was like, oh.

1331
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,799
Speaker 3: Long, oh that's so sweet. On a road trip, no Less,

1332
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 3: How did you guys meet up on a road trip?

1333
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 4: Well, I was using the dating apps just to like

1334
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 4: meet people because I was looking for a new city

1335
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 4: to live in, so I wanted to like get the

1336
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 4: local perspective. And then he I actually had a really

1337
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 4: bad experience in the town he was in, But I

1338
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,839
Speaker 4: was like trying to see if I wanted to live there,

1339
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 4: but like got criminal minds, Like somebody was like following

1340
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 4: me on the highway was really creepy. I was going

1341
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 4: to leave the next day, and then he messaged me

1342
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 4: and I was like, well, let me just go for coffee,

1343
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 4: and then I ended up staying.

1344
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,359
Speaker 2: Oh wow, how often do you guys get to see

1345
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:39,759
Speaker 2: each other?

1346
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 3: Average?

1347
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,360
Speaker 4: Like every six eight weeks. Oh, I'm actually gonna go

1348
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 4: see him on Thursday. His mom invited me, so I'm

1349
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 4: going to meet the whole family.

1350
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 3: Oh good, oh good. Well, just enjoy your time right now.

1351
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: Enjoy Oklahoma, enjoy Tulsa, and enjoy your long distance relationship.

1352
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 3: And then in March you can reevaluate and if it

1353
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 3: needs a couple more months, then that's fine too. Just

1354
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 3: look at this as a temporary situation to get yourself

1355
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:04,400
Speaker 3: more like financially situated.

1356
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 4: Thank you for the advice. I just have a hard

1357
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 4: time like day to day I think accepting. Do you

1358
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 4: have any advice for like just how to really like

1359
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 4: radically accept that I have made this choice and like

1360
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 4: not like just waiting for the end.

1361
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 3: Yes, you have to be like active in your First

1362
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:23,320
Speaker 3: of all, you need to be active in your community

1363
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 3: in some way. You have to join some clubs whatever

1364
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,840
Speaker 3: you're interested in. What are you interested in, like sports

1365
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 3: or chess or like a book club or anything like

1366
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 3: what do you like to do in your free time?

1367
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 4: I would love to join a book club. I've been

1368
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:38,760
Speaker 4: asking everybody for like crafting circle.

1369
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, well those things you can easily find on Facebook

1370
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 3: and online, just you know, I mean, just google this

1371
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 3: stuff in your area and start hanging out with people

1372
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,439
Speaker 3: and being an active participant. And you should just write

1373
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 3: down a mantra for yourself, like I'm going to be

1374
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 3: an active participant in my life and I'm going to

1375
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 3: be an active participant in my community, so that you're

1376
00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 3: just like enjoying yourself. The worst thing about not being

1377
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,320
Speaker 3: present in the present moment and thinking about the future

1378
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 3: is that you are You're like on borrow time. You

1379
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 3: have to make the most of everything. You don't know

1380
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 3: what's going to be out there or what kind of

1381
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 3: friendships you're going to make, you know, with people, so

1382
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 3: like you really have to just kind of I know

1383
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 3: what you're saying, and I've been there, but you do

1384
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 3: have to make a shift, and you should start meditating

1385
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 3: on it, like, you know, find a meditation that helps

1386
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 3: you really focus on the moment that you were in

1387
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 3: instead of looking to the future. It's okay to plan things.

1388
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 3: Just be like, I'm here for six months. I'm going

1389
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 3: to make the most out of this. I'm going to

1390
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 3: see everything Tulsa has to offer, and I'm going to

1391
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 3: make great friends that I'm going to have for the

1392
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 3: rest of my life. And eventually those things become true

1393
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 3: and then they are real. It's manifestation.

1394
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 2: Wow, you should write a book.

1395
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 3: Don't you believe in manifestation? I know you do, right, yeah,

1396
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 3: I do. It's true, Like you have to you and

1397
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 3: what's your head is in the game. Then you are

1398
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 3: in the game.

1399
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to take that advice. Yeah, absolutely, yah

1400
00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 2: oh real that was really good.

1401
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 3: Thanks yahya, thanks. Do you feel what I'm saying? Do

1402
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 3: you feel? I think you should write those two sentences

1403
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 3: down and put them on a mirror in your bathroom

1404
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: so you read that every morning, and that's how you

1405
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 3: start every single day. And then who know, you know what,

1406
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 3: you might even fucking fall in love with Tulsa. You

1407
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 3: might even be like, I'm never going to leave here.

1408
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:16,479
Speaker 3: This is I came here, I didn't want to stay

1409
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 3: here for more than six months, and then you're there

1410
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 3: for twenty years.

1411
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very possible. People have done it.

1412
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 3: So open your mind, don't keep it so narrow, open it,

1413
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 3: broaden it, and expand it. Yeah.

1414
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 1: And I think also, like once a week, I think

1415
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: you should try to do something new in the city,

1416
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:35,479
Speaker 1: just to be like, I only have six months here,

1417
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 1: so like I'm going to, you know, every single week,

1418
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to do something new.

1419
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,880
Speaker 3: And even if you and find a book club or

1420
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 3: start a book club, you can start one, you know,

1421
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 3: and to start it on Facebook or on Instagram or

1422
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 3: any of these things. You can find people in your area.

1423
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 3: So easily on all of these apps. It's easy to

1424
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 3: connect with strangers if you haven't made any real friends yet,

1425
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 3: and start cultivating relationships, and definitely do things outside of

1426
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 3: your comfort zone. You know, join a club like a

1427
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:03,680
Speaker 3: running club or a walking club or a hiking club

1428
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck biking, you know, and make sure

1429
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 3: you're doing different things so that you're stretching yourself and

1430
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 3: that you're not just stagnant.

1431
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 1: And tell your boyfriend to move to you.

1432
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 4: I'm Adela. I'madela Chelsea Handler and everybody said you need

1433
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:20,439
Speaker 4: to come to them.

1434
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 3: Okay, well, good luck in Tulsa and enjoy those museums

1435
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 3: I love I was just there a few well not Jess,

1436
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 3: but I loved it. I had a great time at Tulsa.

1437
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you, I appreciate that.

1438
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: Okay, awesome later us post it buck bye.

1439
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 2: That was really good advice.

1440
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 3: You know what ya ya? I'm glad you're finally showing

1441
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 3: me some respect. Do you know what yaya? Do you

1442
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 3: know what ya y'all calls me in public? No, yeah,

1443
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell everybody you have apologized and that was

1444
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 3: very sweet and on next I know you did, I

1445
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 3: know I could tell that you meant it, but she

1446
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 3: was calling me Massa on our fucking trip and yelling

1447
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 3: at me Massa massive massive this okay Massa, Okay, bitch,

1448
00:59:58,320 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 3: am my mass up. You want us to be better,

1449
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 3: I can go to the beach at noon, okay, Massa.

1450
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 3: And I'm like, bitch, that's not fucking funny. You cannot

1451
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 3: call me masa. And then we're out in a restaurant

1452
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 3: in New York City a few months later and she

1453
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 3: fucking does it again though. And then I were with

1454
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 3: another black friend, my friend Jabria, and she's like, bitch,

1455
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 3: she cannot be calling you massa, and I'm like, no

1456
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:18,600
Speaker 3: fucking kidding.

1457
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 5: Well sometimes I mean you do crack a whip chills, Okay.

1458
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:26,600
Speaker 3: Anyway, anyway, thank you, yah Yah for what a delight

1459
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 3: you gave such great advice. I'm sure everyone's gonna have

1460
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 3: loved listening to you too. Ya Ya thanks, Yeah you

1461
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 3: really you really pricked up our studio this morning and

1462
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 3: do what I can. Yeah, now what you can? Oh

1463
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:40,360
Speaker 3: and also if you want to really laugh and watch

1464
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 3: ya Ya harassed people online, please follow her on Instagram

1465
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 3: at Vanity dot Vixen. Is that what it is Vanity

1466
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:48,000
Speaker 3: Dot Vixen and.

1467
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 2: Check out Sam's new special on HBO.

1468
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what's it called again?

1469
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 7: Uh?

1470
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 5: The first one is called three in the Morning that's

1471
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 5: on Netflix, and the one that just dropped is called

1472
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 5: Salute Me or Shoot Me, Salute Me or shoot Yes?

1473
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 5: Thank you yayah no, thank you for having me. I

1474
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 5: really appreciate it.

1475
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 2: This was cool.

1476
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 3: See you next week, everybody. Okay, So show dates coming

1477
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 3: out Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys. I'm

1478
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 3: coming January nineteenth, Edmonton January twentieth, Saskatoon February ninth. I'll

1479
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 3: be in Winnipeg, Victoria, BC is March eighth. Then i

1480
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 3: will be in Salt Lake City April fourth, and Denver

1481
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 3: April fifth. I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa April twelfth.

1482
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 3: April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks, California at the Cash

1483
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 3: Creek Casino, and then I'm going to be in Santa

1484
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:38,960
Speaker 3: Rosa Sunday April fourteenth. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore,

1485
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 3: Maryland on April twentieth, Gary in Deana, Prior Lake, Minnesota.

1486
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 3: Coming to Oklahoma Norman, Oklahoma on May third and May fourth,

1487
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 3: I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma for my rescheduled Windstar

1488
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 3: World Casino date, and I want to make sure that

1489
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,200
Speaker 3: I give a shout out to our show for Netflix.

1490
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 3: As a joke festival, I put together a show with

1491
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 3: some of my favorite comics. It's May eleventh at the

1492
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 3: YouTube Theater Downtown, which I've never performed in, so that's

1493
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,160
Speaker 3: gonna be fun. It's pretty big. I have Beteo Lane,

1494
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 3: I have Fortune Themester performing. I have Sam Jays on

1495
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 3: the show and Vanessa Gonzale, so we it is called

1496
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:17,720
Speaker 3: a Jew two Mexicans. No a Jew, two gays in

1497
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 3: a Mexican. No a Jew, three gays at a Mexican.

1498
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 3: So it's political correctness at its finest. And then I

1499
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 3: will be in Verona, New York on May twenty sixth,

1500
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 3: and then I'm coming to Australia in July and New

1501
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 3: Zealand July fifth, Auckland and I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Brisbane,

1502
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 3: Sydney and then Thursday, August first, which is a long

1503
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 3: way away and a date I am just seeing that

1504
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 3: I am not ready to announce. Okay, So those are

1505
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 3: all my dates that are up and available, so get

1506
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:55,960
Speaker 3: your tickets. I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it.

1507
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1508
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1509
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:05,120
Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1510
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law and

1511
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1512
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: com