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Speaker 1: Well, I invited you. Hear thought. I made myself perfectly clear.

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Speaker 1: But you're a guess to me. You gotta come to

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Speaker 1: be empty, and I said, no, guests, your presence is

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Speaker 1: presence enough. I already had too much stuff, So how

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Speaker 1: did you dare to surbey me?

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Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm bridgerd Weininger. Time

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Speaker 2: is passing by. It's been a week. It's maybe maybe

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Speaker 2: been a month for you since you last heard from me.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's been years. Time is passing is closing in.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy you're here. I hope you're feeling well.

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Speaker 2: If you're not, hopefully by the end of the podcast

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Speaker 2: you'll be feeling terrific. Today I'm here with a one

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Speaker 2: of the funniest people maybe on the planet. She's a

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Speaker 2: comedy writer, but she's also now a big time author,

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Speaker 2: Best Calp. Welcome to the show, Bess, Thank you Bacher.

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Speaker 3: This is my author voice. It's beautiful. You need You've

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Speaker 3: been developing this for years.

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Speaker 4: Yes, can you hear my glasses? My Eileen Fisher tunic.

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Speaker 2: I'm visualizing right now. My hair is graying, just cascading

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Speaker 2: over your shoulders. You haven't conditioned in weeks now I

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Speaker 2: live in. Bess has a new book. It's called Nobody

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Speaker 2: will tell you this but me. I have read the

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Speaker 2: book and it's incredibly funny but also made me cry

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Speaker 2: multiple times. And so this is an exciting time for you.

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Speaker 2: I mean, just a few things about Bess. She's a

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Speaker 2: new mother, she's moving into a new house, she's got

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Speaker 2: a new book, and so obviously big priority is being

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Speaker 2: on my podcast. That's right, taking the time out of

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Speaker 2: her Saturday to come here and listen to me talk best.

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Speaker 2: What should we get into first? You're moving into a

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Speaker 2: new house. How I am? I am?

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Speaker 4: It's a It's a NonStop joy ride.

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Speaker 2: It's been so easy. Of course, there's been love. It's

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Speaker 2: been lovely. I don't even think about it's been a

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Speaker 2: I mean I feel like you have had as someone

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Speaker 2: in a one bedroom apartment, I just have avoided this

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Speaker 2: sort of thing. But once you start getting into a house,

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Speaker 2: you start dealing with people. That's right.

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Speaker 5: You've dealt with some tough types. Yes, I've dealt with ruffians.

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Speaker 5: I've dealt with I've dealt with that abouts. You've dealt

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Speaker 5: with gout her snipes, bureaucrats.

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Speaker 2: I've dealt with. I've dealt with.

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Speaker 4: I dealt with the man I have. It's not the

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Speaker 4: worst the worst thing I, as Bridger knows. And and

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Speaker 4: now America, and let's be honest, the world will know.

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Speaker 2: The world is watching someone deep in Japan right now.

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Speaker 4: Someone someone in deep Japan, forest, subterranean, just a little transistor.

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Speaker 2: Radio, someone taking a forest bath. They're trying to relax,

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Speaker 2: and they're about to just be the smell of cherry bloff,

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Speaker 2: filled with anxiety over bureaucracy and getting a home finished.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 4: I went up against the Los Angeles Department of Water

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Speaker 4: and Power, nine months pregnant. I used myself as my

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Speaker 4: I use my unborn child as my own prop to

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Speaker 4: see if expedite.

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Speaker 2: E, would you have a child?

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Speaker 4: I know this was it. This was This was a

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Speaker 4: precisely timed long con. Mommy is a little con jop.

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Speaker 2: No. I I used my child as a prop and

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Speaker 2: they laughed me out. Well was it over? It felt

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Speaker 2: like to me this vote from what I recall, somebody

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Speaker 2: who just needed to feel some control in their life,

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Speaker 2: some power over another human being. I'm going to say

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Speaker 2: the most horrifying sentence that has been recorded, which is

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Speaker 2: this person graduated college in twenty sixteen. Oh God, Grave,

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Speaker 2: you were dealing with a fourteen year old boy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's just a mean street.

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Speaker 4: I know, with his with his spots on his face,

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Speaker 4: his glass is held together by tape, grass stands on

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Speaker 4: his No.

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Speaker 2: I mean he looked like a man. And I was just.

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Speaker 4: This, this hormonal cow with a wikipedia's knowledge the way

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Speaker 4: cable is run from the street to a home. And

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Speaker 4: as man looked at me and said, we can't air

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Speaker 4: condition you are baby.

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Speaker 2: This is so. This was just power the air conditioning.

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Speaker 2: This was just a power the air conditioning.

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Speaker 4: And you know, not to be not to you know, listen,

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Speaker 4: every body can tell that I am covered in times

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Speaker 4: and first not to not to be that, but also heat.

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Speaker 4: I would have loved heat too. And he told he

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Speaker 4: told mommy's baby.

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Speaker 2: No, and what was his Also, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: get you into any legal trouble beyond I will defend

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Speaker 2: the sky. Listen.

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Speaker 4: I've seen every episode of Damages, as you know, most

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Speaker 4: episodes of the Good Wife, the sexiest ones. And I

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Speaker 4: can stand before a judge and say, this is a.

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Speaker 2: Fishing absolutely, your honored, this is a fishing extra And

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Speaker 2: I bet he would stand up and clap, and I

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Speaker 2: bet he would cry. Yes, he would probably connect with

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Speaker 2: you as a good wife watcher. That's right, you could talk.

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Speaker 2: That's right. You go. I'm sorry you teamed Florida. It

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Speaker 2: means nothing to me. That means everything to the manager

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Speaker 2: listens to.

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Speaker 3: I said, no gifts and the good fight, good fight,

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Speaker 3: the good averse. This is my good fighting side. And

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Speaker 3: and so what.

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Speaker 2: We're what what? What?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 4: What are we talking about? Okay, so here, here's what

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Speaker 4: it was. We bought a falling.

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Speaker 2: Down old hash Sure, essentially.

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Speaker 4: It was it was it was there was sort of

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Speaker 4: a rat enjoying a bean.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, We had this old house.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to put it up to code, and I

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Speaker 4: had to beg a young bureaucrat to do that in

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Speaker 4: a reasonable timeline. A few months and he said eight months.

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Speaker 4: And he said it will be eight months, two and

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Speaker 4: nine months pregnant. So we were moving.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 4: My son is now a gynecologist, respected, a.

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Speaker 6: Revered, a disgraced enough time to be revered, and then

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Speaker 6: has fallen from absolutely canceled.

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Speaker 2: We all thought he was going place. We did. We did.

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Speaker 2: The amount of money I poured into that baby's education best.

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Speaker 2: You and I have known each other I think for

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Speaker 2: about five years, yes, former co workers. Yes, we've been

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Speaker 2: through a lot together. Yes, I mean. One big event

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Speaker 2: I can say right off the bat is we've been

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Speaker 2: to the Scientology Center and just lied, lied to the people.

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Speaker 2: I mean, should I be mentioning this religion? Maybe we

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Speaker 2: should change its name, maybe we should call it Scienceology.

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Speaker 2: We've been to the Scienceology. We went and got our

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Speaker 2: personality test.

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Speaker 1: We did.

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Speaker 4: We got the Oxford personality test. Here's I mean for

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Speaker 4: four men in hakone let's explain. So we bridge and

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Speaker 4: I we read, we read going clear?

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Speaker 2: Yes, And what was the other one? Inside Scientology? I

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Speaker 2: read I really oh deed in about twenty fourteen. I

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Speaker 2: went all over it, all overboard. Yeah. But we were curious, right,

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Speaker 2: and I did what I do, which is I read

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Speaker 2: like the first eighty pages of something and then never

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Speaker 2: stopped talking about it. Well, I think with Scientology, you've

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Speaker 2: got the idea. Yes, but we were both angry, yeahc

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Speaker 2: to say, we were both steaming mad, but also so intrigued.

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Speaker 4: Yes, And we were sitting there in our office with

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Speaker 4: our dear lovely friend Jeff, who wanted to die put.

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Speaker 2: Up with what's happening here for about eight hours a day. Yes,

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Speaker 2: this was right. Now.

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Speaker 4: If Jeff is listening to this, it is because it's

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Speaker 4: part of exposure therapy that his therapist is making him do.

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Speaker 2: He listened to us, right. Part of a romance novel.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, part of four romance novels. It was a quadrilogy,

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Speaker 4: a google.

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Speaker 2: The guarantee was going to be that every page someone

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Speaker 2: would have sex. Yes, and we stayed true to that

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Speaker 2: promise until we stopped writing a book.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I would say, I would say the book delivered NonStop,

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Speaker 4: passionless sex written from the perspective of I would say,

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Speaker 4: a middle aged woman who very clearly has never had.

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Speaker 2: Never even maybe even seen some like a visual representation

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Speaker 2: of sex, Like I'm talking to someone who guessed textures, guests,

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Speaker 2: an alien kind of poking in the dark at the

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Speaker 2: idea of human sexuality. Right, Maybe she'd.

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Speaker 4: Seen a diagram, possibly, but maybe just a constellation where

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Speaker 4: they said that's a woman, that's a man.

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Speaker 2: No, just have him go at it. It's somewhere in

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Speaker 2: the New England countryside.

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Speaker 3: It was.

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Speaker 2: It was New England, both in the universe, in the

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Speaker 2: quadri in the quadrilla verse.

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Speaker 4: Uh, the it was a small sleepy town. I don't

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Speaker 4: want to give away too much.

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Speaker 2: Because it's going to be I mean, you're now an author,

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Speaker 2: you have power to get this thing. People after your book,

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Speaker 2: they're going to be said, where's the sex? That's right,

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Speaker 2: they would say, I loved the Grandma book. I loved it.

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Speaker 2: Where was the heat? Where was where? Where was the

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Speaker 2: The bodice was unripped. I felt nothing below my waist.

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Speaker 2: You could stab me in the leg. It was completely numb.

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Speaker 2: I was numb. I had ayelchair.

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Speaker 4: This book is my current book is I would say

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Speaker 4: it is an epidural. You could have your legs cut off,

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Speaker 4: cut off. You could have your legs cut off our book.

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Speaker 4: On the other hand, you're gonna have to watch, just

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Speaker 4: your watch.

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Speaker 2: I can't read. You're gonna have to. You're gonna have

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Speaker 2: to read in a padded room. You're gonna have to.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna have to.

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Speaker 4: Let's just put it this way. It's a it's a

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Speaker 4: box of tissues a page. God, it's a horny book.

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Speaker 4: But no, what we were doing with scientology was back

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Speaker 4: to back to scientology. This is a linear conversation and kind.

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Speaker 2: Of just stay on topic and really dig into something

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Speaker 2: rather than bouncing a to b to see a handshake

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Speaker 2: and we leave. People are always they know what's going on,

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Speaker 2: and that's what's important. Right. People have many tabs. You

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Speaker 2: can pause and come back and you'll know exactly what was.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you have missed a beat and you will follow along. Okay, Scientology.

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Speaker 2: So I think we were both. We were titillated and mad. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and they are begging people to come down and get

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Speaker 2: their personality told to them. That's right, and through what

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Speaker 2: kind of a scantron test? Yes, it was. It was.

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Speaker 2: It was triggering. Yes, you go, So you go down

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Speaker 2: to Scientology HQ. Right before we got there, though, we

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Speaker 2: had to agree on a series of bizarre something more bizarre.

200
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Speaker 2: We decided we were going to not give our name

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Speaker 2: and also leave our driver's licenses in the car, that's

202
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Speaker 2: in case we were asked for them and park around

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Speaker 2: the corner. Park around the corner. They had cameras take

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Speaker 2: care a license. Late.

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Speaker 4: At this point, while we're planning this in the Jeff

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Speaker 4: has just started saying, don't do this. This is a

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Speaker 4: bad idea. I'm going to have to rescue you, which

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Speaker 4: I think eventually you two will be with Shelley miscavige.

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Speaker 4: But we agree in the conference room in Florida.

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Speaker 2: I hope not Jesus Christ, Shelley, if you're out there

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Speaker 2: and probably in Japan.

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Speaker 4: Shelley, you're in Japan, Shelley, you're living a I like

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Speaker 4: to think that she's in that hot tub.

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Speaker 2: She's who we're talking. Our voices are crackling through, and

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Speaker 2: she's just thinking, Oh, I'm not I haven't vanished completely.

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Speaker 2: I'm alive. Yeah, David, I'm David. I'm a prune. I'm

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Speaker 2: hungry for a little fish. I would love a little fish,

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Speaker 2: a little rice. Just lie down.

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Speaker 3: On the mat.

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Speaker 2: I love that she's listening from Japan. You. Yes, Shelley,

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Speaker 2: this is for you, your revenge. This is your revenge.

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Speaker 2: I love this episode. So we park around the corner.

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Speaker 2: We leave our goddamn driver's licensees in your glove compartment,

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Speaker 2: and we agreed on names. I can't remember your name.

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Speaker 2: Should we tell our fake name? We can't, I can't record. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So at this point my name was Damon Mountaineer.

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Speaker 4: And my name was Helena Troy. God damn it, I'm

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Speaker 4: a drag queen.

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Speaker 2: I think we bought a really good Helena tro Troy's gorgeous.

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Speaker 4: I have to change it because that's true. My name

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Speaker 4: was Helena Crusoe. Okay, so we went in.

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Speaker 2: With these fake names. But I think that was kind

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Speaker 2: of the only information we agreed on, which was maybe

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Speaker 2: not a great idea. Rest was fly by the seat

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Speaker 2: of but we worst pants at the time. We didn't

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Speaker 2: realize that when you go into what is kind of

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Speaker 2: like this lifeless cubicle space.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well it's in a former hospital. It's in the

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Speaker 4: hospital on something. Yes, painted blue, painted a horrible blue,

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Speaker 4: which is their worst.

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Speaker 2: The weirdest blue possible. Yes, clearly bought on clearance or

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Speaker 2: something hardware store was closing down the color. Yes, that's

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Speaker 2: why it's on clearance. In their right mind would paint

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Speaker 2: something the color of painters tape. You don't know where

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Speaker 2: the this is somehow made a hospital look worse. Right,

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Speaker 2: let's make people more anxious. But they kind of guide

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Speaker 2: you into this room and then immediately separate you, which

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Speaker 2: is something we had not counted.

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Speaker 4: All right, We did, I think, agree on one thing,

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Speaker 4: which is don't let them tear.

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Speaker 2: Us apart, and we immediately gave up killer goodbye. No,

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Speaker 2: I was, I was. I was terrified. I was.

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Speaker 4: I think we were both I'll say it. I think

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Speaker 4: we were both more scared for the other person than

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Speaker 4: for us.

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Speaker 2: Of course, of course, but we're also willing to betray

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Speaker 2: the other's right.

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Speaker 4: As soon as the slightest, the slightest provocation, I would

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Speaker 4: kill I.

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Speaker 2: Would have asked to do it. I would as as

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Speaker 2: as your dear friend. I would have wanted to be

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Speaker 2: the one, and of course to throw out. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: they so they separate you from maybe like a half hour,

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Speaker 2: would you say, protest, which is but we.

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Speaker 4: Did agree on how our personalities would be different because

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Speaker 4: we wanted to game the system.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I don't remember plan I'm.

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Speaker 4: Being this is this is the part where Jeff said,

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Speaker 4: you're going to forget this.

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Speaker 2: Neither of you can commit to this. Good at improv

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Speaker 2: neither of you are good at anything. Neither of you

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Speaker 2: can even come up with a coherent storyline. Look at

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Speaker 2: your book.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it delivered the it delivered the titillating Can I say,

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Speaker 4: can I say jizz? You can say, yes, it delivered

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Speaker 4: the jizz Jeff Yellow listen rated XOCA podcast, and but

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Speaker 4: it didn't deliver the coherent narrative you expect from two

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Speaker 4: people who in conversation.

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Speaker 2: Are so very are just kind of very very and

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Speaker 2: easy to understand. What's going on a flowing river. You

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Speaker 2: would be a psycho, a psychopath who would be definitely

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Speaker 2: committed to sea or I was going to be somebody

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Speaker 2: there ready to be part of the organization.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and I would try to be an officer, and

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Speaker 4: it required you to be erratic, show signs of severe trauma,

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Speaker 4: and love the sort of prison industrial complex, and love authority,

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Speaker 4: the perfect guy. Describe a toilet for a tooth billion years.

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Speaker 2: And I would have This is I've been talking back

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Speaker 2: to me. Remember I sent in one hundred. But this

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Speaker 2: is okay. But what you're about to say is not

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Speaker 2: how we planned on it. This is where it became

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Speaker 2: a problem, right, because we kind of agreed on these

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Speaker 2: basic qualities. We went into the things and interviewed, but

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Speaker 2: our stories became started to go in a way that

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Speaker 2: was not good for because later they would reconvene and

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Speaker 2: talk about us, and I was telling I essentially told

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Speaker 2: them that I was a drifter with a gambling problem

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Speaker 2: who had seen his brother die in a lake. That's

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Speaker 2: right from the Phil Collins. But you are also fine.

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Speaker 2: You were also my financial you were my yes, was

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Speaker 2: in charge of your moment. You're the guardian of my estate.

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Speaker 2: But meanwhile you're telling them.

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Speaker 4: I'm telling them I've been this. So I wanted to

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Speaker 4: be an officer. And by the way, with that scantron

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Speaker 4: test I paid, I was sweating.

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Speaker 2: I was working harder than when I took the SAT God.

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Speaker 2: I needed to get every question right because I had

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Speaker 2: to be an officer and the questions, the questions of

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Speaker 2: the scienceology test were difficult because no circle is answer

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Speaker 2: right right right there. But I so I told them this.

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Speaker 4: Helena's backstory was she was grieving because that's a big cell.

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Speaker 2: It's like, we can get you over, agreed. They ask

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Speaker 2: you like, tell us about some traumatic things have happened

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Speaker 2: to me best. That's where my leg story came from.

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Speaker 2: And what my father, Yes, and who was in charge

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Speaker 2: of a telecom.

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Speaker 4: Or he was big in Hollywood and he his money

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Speaker 4: was from big telecom, which if you had a gun

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Speaker 4: to my head, I couldn't tell you what that means.

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Speaker 2: I think that means he installs phones. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: I think at this point it's kind of a succession

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Speaker 2: style Roy Star had in this situation. Is this character

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Speaker 2: on Succession. You were the drifter who watched it. I

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Speaker 2: was the guy who dies in the lake. You were

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Speaker 2: the guy who dies a spoiler. That's a spoiler of

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Speaker 2: season one. But I'm sorry. You were the sexy waiter.

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Speaker 2: I was who was.

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Speaker 4: And I was in a turtleneck and pants with an

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Speaker 4: ask them.

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Speaker 2: Kind of claying every side. I was, yeah, well, I'm

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Speaker 2: kind of just being forgotten and kind of tweaking in

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Speaker 2: your in your water logged car. Yeah, kind of the

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Speaker 2: only person who remembers me is Kendall Roy. Oh, I forgot.

334
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Speaker 2: I'll never forget you. But yeah, So I was telling

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Speaker 2: him I wasn't somehow you were telling them I was

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Speaker 2: in charge of your money. Well, I was telling them

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Speaker 2: I had a gambling The.

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Speaker 4: Other thing, the other thing that we had agreed on,

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Speaker 4: which is we can't give them money because we both

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Speaker 4: I think knew how week we were.

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Speaker 2: I think having to agree that we weren't going to

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Speaker 2: give them any money.

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Speaker 4: Implicitly in that is we're going to be separated and

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Speaker 4: we're going to do whatever they.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's essentially a sales situation, and I will buy,

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Speaker 2: I will buy so but yeah, that's uh. And then

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Speaker 2: later they obviously I think mine ended a little bit

348
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Speaker 2: before yours, and so I was shuffled off into something

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Speaker 2: to watch a video about suicide or some dark that

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Speaker 2: got going on. And then you were inside and then

351
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Speaker 2: they they took me to the inter Sanctum. That's right.

352
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Speaker 2: They took you to a place. I think they were like, oh,

353
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Speaker 2: this guy, because the last thing I told him I

354
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I'm sorry, I can't come to any meetings.

355
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Speaker 2: This is this weekend.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to Reno, right, a place where only a

357
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,159
Speaker 4: drifter would go. We just there goes our Reno audience.

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Speaker 4: And then they took you into some other They gave

359
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Speaker 4: me banana chips, which was very luxurious because I was

360
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 4: very hungry at this point, and I think they knew

361
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Speaker 4: that that's insane.

362
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Speaker 2: It was hungry because I was.

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Speaker 4: I think they saw how much potassium I had lost

364
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Speaker 4: through my sweat, and you know, baby needed gorp. But

365
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Speaker 4: I but look, I so I did what very I'm

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Speaker 4: here to tell you and Shelley that I did very

367
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Speaker 4: well on the Oxford Personality Test because I answered according

368
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Speaker 4: to what I knew. They were looking for sure we

369
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 4: were trying to game them, that we were being hopelessly gamed.

370
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Speaker 4: I said all of the right things. I said that

371
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Speaker 4: I love. One of the weirdest.

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Speaker 2: Questions was how comfortable are you with being punished without

373
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Speaker 2: an explanation? And I was I was like, great, I

374
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Speaker 2: love it. I love it. And I also said I.

375
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Speaker 4: Love doing the punishing. And I think as I answered that,

376
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Speaker 4: I was like, oh my god, this is the first

377
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Speaker 4: time I've been honest with myself.

378
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah I did. I mean, to this day, it's like,

379
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 2: what was the most wormative experience? And really, but it's

380
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 2: like when I joined idology, because from that day forward

381
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Speaker 2: you found yourself.

382
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Speaker 4: But here's where I really used the craziest part of

383
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Speaker 4: my brain.

384
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Speaker 2: This is I don't love this about me. And so

385
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 2: I'll tell everyone.

386
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 4: You're given an E meter reading yes, and there's no

387
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 4: way to fake that because it's fake nonsense. And so

388
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 4: they'll like, you know, you put lotion on your hands, and.

389
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Speaker 2: They put like a cheap Yeah, for all that money,

390
00:21:50,480 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 2: Tom Cruise, for all that movie money, movie stars.

391
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Speaker 4: Stars on the planet, I don't know why about I

392
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Speaker 4: still think I have a chance with Tom Cruise, And

393
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Speaker 4: that's why that's I think we all do.

394
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 2: I think we all? You and I both this is

395
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 2: our next gambite us Tom's number. Let us Tom. It'll

396
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 2: be like a competition. That's right. Honestly, I would watch

397
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 2: this movie. I would write the first four pages of

398
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 2: this movie and forget about it. A Google doc with you.

399
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 4: Okay, so we so we're then after our E meter reading, Uh,

400
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 4: interviewed by two people, and you had an older South

401
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 4: African woman.

402
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 2: That's right, I told you have My memory is truly horrified.

403
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 4: Again, the most important day of my life. I learned

404
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 4: about myself.

405
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 2: Yeah maybe like a fifty five year old South African largest.

406
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. She was really a beautiful uh probably at

407
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 2: some point hopeful individual. She sort of had the vibe

408
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 2: of Holly Hunter in Top of the Lake.

409
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 5: Yes, like.

410
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 3: Amazing gray wisdom, but the earthiness just pull.

411
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 4: She was in her polyesters caterer style at the worst

412
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 4: cousin's wedding. That's right, like, oh the shrimp is warm.

413
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 2: I can't believe you remember that. Okay, So they take

414
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 2: you off, they give you banana chips, which is so

415
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 2: just say that.

416
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 4: This is where I say that I'm a psychopath, and

417
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 4: and why I why I am absolutely bad is that

418
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 4: my person who I was interviewed by was clearly sick.

419
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 4: He had the flu, and in scienti science ology, you

420
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 4: can't get sick. Yeah, that's right, And so he was

421
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 4: denying it the whole time. This guy with red, puffy eyes,

422
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 4: runny nose, like sleepy and yellow, you know, he was

423
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:47,640
Speaker 4: just like sallow.

424
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 2: I think maybe he had jaundice. I'm sure he clearly

425
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 2: had the flu. And this bro who was like a

426
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 2: he was like a.

427
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 4: He was a bro kind of guy who would like

428
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 4: go into banking, but wasn't smart enough to actually make

429
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 4: a lot of money, so just did coke and that

430
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 4: made bad friends. And so this bro who got sold

431
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 4: up the river by scientology looks at me and goes,

432
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not sick.

433
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: I just I'm not sick. I that I've lost my

434
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 2: voice from talking to people all day. And so I megged.

435
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 4: Him throughout the whole time he was interviewing me. I

436
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 4: was like, if you're not feeling well, we can do

437
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 4: this another time, I could talk to someone else. Or

438
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 4: if you're not feeling well, do you need a cough

439
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 4: chop or a tissue yourself for some grapefruit juice. I

440
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 4: may as well, but I kept saying, if you're not

441
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 4: feeling well, I reclaimed the power.

442
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 2: That's incredible. If she promoted me, I know, because I

443
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 2: know that he can't be sick if he's and so

444
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: I kept telling him that he was sick. This little bitch,

445
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 2: you absolutely could take over too. I think that's how

446
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: we get Shelley back. Yeah, you just rise up. Listened

447
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 2: to this except for Shelley us turn off now, d now, David,

448
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 2: move on. If you meet like a young, uh gorgeous,

449
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 2: ambitious woman feels like she's climbing the ranks at a

450
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 2: really fast rate, promote, promote. It's funny because I look

451
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 2: so bad because I haven't slept in three months.

452
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 4: No, I'm an infant.

453
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 2: The Yeah, so that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna

454
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 2: rise up the ranks. I'm gonna take it down.

455
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 4: And I guarantee that's how everyone in scientology.

456
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 2: It's full of people who came in like us and

457
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 2: ended up being like, you know, it's a practical, it's

458
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 2: a philosophy. I got a you know, kind of a

459
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: family at this point. Yeah, I got a ani de presence.

460
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 4: And now I'm just perversely attached to my mentor here

461
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 4: because I'm hanging on mentally by a threat.

462
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 2: I was looking for a community that smokes right, community

463
00:25:52,560 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 2: that just talks to people on the street. No, Bess,

464
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: of course this podcast is called I said no Gifts,

465
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 2: and I invited you you here maybe last week and

466
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: made it pretty clear what the title of the podcast was.

467
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 2: I feel like it's kind of explains the one ground rule.

468
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 2: And then I hear you kind of clicking down the

469
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 2: hallway towards the studio earlier, and you come through the

470
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: door holding a bag. Yes, did you bring me a gift? Bride?

471
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 2: I hate to say it, I brought you a gift. Unbelievable.

472
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. So do you want me to open it

473
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 2: now on the podcast or is this something I should

474
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 2: wait till later. This is the only time either of

475
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 2: us can carve out of the day for us, I'm

476
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: very busy. I know that you don't have much going on,

477
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 2: and so no. As I said, the move is easy.

478
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 2: Everyone should move with an infant. It's easy. It's nice

479
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: move once a year, foliating. Just it is.

480
00:26:54,480 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 4: My skin has never looked better from packing boxes and crying. Okay,

481
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 4: I brought this bag. And the bag I guess you know, Shelley,

482
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 4: if you're still listening, the.

483
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 2: Bag is amazing, because would you go ahead and read it?

484
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 2: It's a CBL fine art. West Orange.

485
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 4: West Orange is a town in New Jersey where my

486
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 4: grandparents live. My sweet grandparents came across the country to

487
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 4: meet their great grandson with a bag of gifts in

488
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 4: the bag.

489
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 2: From the art store that they got it.

490
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 4: My grandma held this bag on my living grandma, my

491
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 4: grandma Judy, who I love.

492
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: She held this on her lap on the airport. Oh,

493
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 2: that's incredibly sweet, and took.

494
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 4: Out all kinds of noisemakers that I immediately threw.

495
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 2: Out bothering me. No, I didn't have the baby for

496
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: it to developmentally learn. I had a baby. I had

497
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: a baby to scam the city. Those toys have all

498
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 2: been given to your cats.

499
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 4: They've been given to my cats, who are currently humping

500
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 4: them at home, my real baby.

501
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: So this I did not know that.

502
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 4: I did not know that we would be telling our

503
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 4: scientology story on the podcast.

504
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: Oh your kid not play interesting? Oh, I'm very excited

505
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 2: to see whatever lies thematically it is, I would say

506
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 2: linked Oh, my good grief. I can't wait to open

507
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 2: whatever what Basically Bess has just removed something from the

508
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 2: bag that is I would say, roughly ten inches by

509
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: ten inch square, wrapped in a blue tissue.

510
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 3: Paper wrapped is nice? Im me try this is? This

511
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 3: is like a me level wrapping. I would say, maybe

512
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 3: a little bit better than I would do.

513
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say, I'm normally a very good I

514
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 4: feel like you would be a good wrap gift wrapper.

515
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 4: And I take giving you gifts very seriously.

516
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: You are. I mean, you've given me some beautiful things.

517
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 2: I gave you a tombstone for a cat you didn't have.

518
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: It was incredible, which lies in my closet for the

519
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 2: next cat I get to die. So we're looking like

520
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: fifteen to twenty years down the road, this thing will

521
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 2: be left hopefully a thirty year old cat still living

522
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: him through college and then try to get him out.

523
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 2: But then what else is new you? Let's see, you've

524
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: also given me just a desk which is in my

525
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 2: bedroom currently lamp bedside lamps. I mean, basically, my I

526
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 2: am that person who's taking advantage of you. I'm that

527
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 2: person you would just let me control your finances. Let

528
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 2: me okay, let's see what's happening here. We'll get some,

529
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: you know, for the gift wrap freaks. This is the

530
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 2: sound that you love. Just unwrapped this. Let's see here. Okay,

531
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 2: so this is Oh my goodness, this is a is

532
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 2: this tarot cards? Read who it's from? It's oh, show

533
00:29:54,800 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: the discretion. Wait, I don't know, show God, see what

534
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 2: is it called?

535
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 4: I want to say, no country for old wild wild country.

536
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 3: This is.

537
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 2: Credible. This is this is the life all of the

538
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 2: salad barsson, the salad bars and something.

539
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 4: So this is life advice from a man who got

540
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 4: his best course of action was to poison a town.

541
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 2: Oh, this is incredible. He spread kind of like fecal

542
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 2: matters throughout salad bars, followers poop in the Oregon. I

543
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 2: need to go back to looking cat. It looks beautiful

544
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: and everybody in red and red kind of time of

545
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 2: your life? Who was number two in the organization? I

546
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: loved her? Sheila, Sheila man a Sheila man a Sheila

547
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 2: queen and a goddess who actually made good. This I

548
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 2: mean to me, this makes me think there's some sort

549
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: of power with O. Show I do too, because why

550
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: else would we have been talking about another powerful cult.

551
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: This whole thing is show. I have to stress that

552
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: there was no this is this is in a Vegas

553
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 2: style hand.

554
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 4: And neither of us are good enough actors to pull

555
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 4: off this. Actually Bridger is of course, of course castaway.

556
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 4: This is I'm opening. I'm just frantically opening.

557
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this okay. So I've got the Tarot

558
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 2: cards out. I wish I knew how to read tarot,

559
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: because I would do your tarrort.

560
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 4: I don't know how to read tarot either. The reason

561
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 4: I got this is it was on super sale because

562
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 4: after Oceha went down, this has been this has been

563
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 4: in my house for.

564
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 2: A long time.

565
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,239
Speaker 4: I couldn't say no to it because they sold this

566
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 4: to me from a bookstore for one dollar ninety nine cents,

567
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 4: which it was right, I'd rather not say this.

568
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: Was Let's just put it this way.

569
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 5: Skylight, Skylight, wonderful bookstore in California.

570
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 4: But once, but once, once the Wild World Country came out,

571
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 4: they could nobody's You wouldn't line a dog craid with this.

572
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 4: This is ya man who put poop in a beautiful

573
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 4: town's a beautiful retirement town.

574
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: Salad with that watch them die.

575
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 4: But honestly, it looks gorgeous, and it's multi denominational.

576
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: You and I come from different faiths, and but I

577
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 2: think this is now our face. I think we're both

578
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: going to just say good us. We both would look

579
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: really interesting in red. Red is certainly not my color.

580
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 2: Do you feel like I feel like you look.

581
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 4: Good in a red You were saying that, but I

582
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 4: think I would look I would look like a corpse.

583
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: I'm so albino. And yeah, I think neither of our

584
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 2: skin tone works. They would say that corpse bled out.

585
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think, what do what? So I bet

586
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 2: you would look rosy. I don't think I would look

587
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 2: There's no elements where people have been like, oh, yes,

588
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 2: color and picture other than when I'm deeply sunburned. But

589
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 2: we've got to do it. Yeah, it's what it's taught us.

590
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 2: In a jumpsuit holding a machine gun. Can do purple, purple, Yeah, green, purple.

591
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: Like I was wondering recently, would yellow be a color

592
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 2: I could with that work on me? Oh, show allowed purple, purple,

593
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: Let's see purple. Yeah. Yellow. By the way, the answer

594
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: is yes, you'd look yellow.

595
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 4: Yes, because Oscar dress Jessica Chastain, Where is that yes,

596
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 4: but she can have to do a red lip.

597
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 2: She looked like Jessica Rabbit, which I would love, of course.

598
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 2: So I wonder if he did the art on these or.

599
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 4: What probably had one of his sex lives.

600
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, that's true. He had thousands of people just

601
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 2: the kind of he was in his Yes, and he was.

602
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 4: In the roles shooting guns, farming and having the time

603
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 4: of their lives.

604
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 2: Running like a gift shop. Yes, because that's how they

605
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 2: get you. Yeah. Can you imagine going to a sail

606
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 2: at that gift shop? I would be in hogham and Ritchie,

607
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: you should go? Does it that em? I know it's

608
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 2: still there.

609
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 4: So I looked up when I when you said I

610
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 4: said no gifts, I was like, finally there's somebody to

611
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 4: give my oshow Taro deck to.

612
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 2: Sure I would have given it to you even if

613
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 2: it weren't in this setting.

614
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 4: But the I looked up, I was like, please let

615
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 4: this really be oh show, because I know when I

616
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 4: bought it it was discounted to the extent that there

617
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 4: was something horrible, that's right, And so.

618
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 2: I googled the the thing on the back of it,

619
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 2: and it tried to get me to go to poone

620
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 2: India to their to their meditation for treat and he

621
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 2: is I want to say dead. She was still alive.

622
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 2: She was alive and it works Denmark, Yes, works with

623
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 2: special needs that she had kind of amazing. I mean,

624
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: despite like maybe being responsible for someone else.

625
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 4: That's bad and also just taking advantage of thousands of

626
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 4: manipulating them.

627
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 2: Children were involved, but it started off as a mother.

628
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 2: I would never manipulate No, not in a million years.

629
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 2: But yeah, so somebody is still running the thing, but

630
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 2: it's kind of become chill. There's like a corporate element

631
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: to it on some level. Right, How beautiful this is.

632
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 2: It's kind of got a salmon color. It's like somebody

633
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 2: water colored this hand painting. And it has sixty beautiful

634
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 2: cards illustrating parables and teaching stories from the world's greatest

635
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 2: wisdom traditions, oh, Zen, Buddhism, all sorts of things here.

636
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: It's a veritable salad bar. Yeah, of course, this is

637
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: why you said best is one of the funniest comedians.

638
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:49,239
Speaker 2: This is it. This is you finally finally embarrassing all

639
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: over his face. He's brought this woman on his podcast

640
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 2: and she is done after done, just sort of whiffing.

641
00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 2: I keep saying what I can't hear you. I literally

642
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 2: can't hear you. I was thinking recently maybe a new

643
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: another podcast would be called Don't You Tell Me to

644
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: Calm Down? And it's just two people kind of screaming,

645
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 2: screaming at each other. If Jeff came off, I just

646
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 2: feel him disapproving of.

647
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 4: Us screaming I I really do want to. It's one

648
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 4: of the funniest things I've ever read. Is a tweet

649
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 4: that you wrote that was I.

650
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: Just want to and I'm gonna I think nothing that

651
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 2: I think there's nothing you would like better than me.

652
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: Of course, kind of in the silence.

653
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,719
Speaker 4: I've never seen bridgermore quiet than when I said one

654
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 4: of the funniest things I've heard.

655
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 2: You may as well have started, but you could start

656
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 2: playing a harp. Just give it just a little, just

657
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 2: a lovely little atmosphere behind it so people can drink

658
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 2: it in. But no. One of the truly is one

659
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,760
Speaker 2: of the funniest things I've ever read. It's a recent

660
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 2: one and he said, I just want to get to

661
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: the point in my career where I can end a

662
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 2: phone call screaming. Figure it out. That's a real feeling.

663
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 2: I know that it wasn't a joke. That's why I

664
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 2: bring it up. I know, you know people are like, ha,

665
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 2: what a cookie take. But I read it and I

666
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: just said, yes, I'm ready. I'm ready to just start

667
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: get their baby. And I would say, I want to

668
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 2: be the person on the other hang up and go oh,

669
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: I want to just want to die. She's a nightmare,

670
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 2: he said. He looks amazing and purple, but he's a

671
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 2: freaking nightmare ever since I got the tarot. No, yeah,

672
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: this is going to change it. Let me ask you,

673
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 2: how do you what is your general feeling on tarot bad?

674
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 2: They were like, you don't enjoy any element of First

675
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: of all, I don't want to know. I don't want

676
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 2: you don't want to too much eyeliner telling me my

677
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:52,919
Speaker 2: how I'm going to die.

678
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 4: I know how I'm going to die. And it's private,

679
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 4: that's your little secret. It is roller blade underneath a

680
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 4: low flying plane.

681
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 2: Just kind of ripped off by the No, I di

682
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 2: have a heart attack. It's not that low. Your heart

683
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: already splashing, but the rollerblades take me down. She was

684
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 2: dead before they yes, yes, she died three times. She

685
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:34,359
Speaker 2: kept coming back. Yeah, Taro.

686
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 4: Here's what I think. I think it's nonsense. I think

687
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 4: if you believe in it, then you know, more power

688
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 4: to you.

689
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 2: But you're an idyho. I mean I'm basically on the

690
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 2: side of that. But in the last couple of years

691
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: I've come to on some level with Taro and this

692
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: sort of thing. It's like it's almost an as Mr

693
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 2: level thing where I get to sit with someone and

694
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 2: they get to say things to me, and I get

695
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 2: to just kind of project whatever I feel onto the

696
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 2: things they're putting in front of me. Right now, I

697
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: really want to get I really want to get my sincerely.

698
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 4: I know that.

699
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,320
Speaker 2: I mean I would know. I would like, I'm dying

700
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: that I can't do this for you know, we're too stupid.

701
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just gonna lay out three cards and

702
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: describe what they look like readers. I know, it's like

703
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 2: eight cards.

704
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,879
Speaker 4: Maybe that's what's powerful about Taro is that there all

705
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 4: it's always something general and then you can project exactly

706
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 4: stuff onto it.

707
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 2: And that is what therapy is.

708
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 4: So I'm someone going, oh, tell me more about that,

709
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 4: and you're like, you know what, she's a genius.

710
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 2: She went to Colombia and that I'm going to look

711
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 2: at the carpet for thirty.

712
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,439
Speaker 4: Minutes comfortably, and by the way, lie through my teeth

713
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 4: if I just want to.

714
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 2: Like me, I'm not giving you any any entrance into

715
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 2: what I actually have. Definitely not. Okay, So I'm putting

716
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 2: down one card now. This first card is kind of

717
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 2: two men kneeling in robes tossing no one Okay, so

718
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 2: one is I think, tossing roses in the air. The

719
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 2: other man has arrows flying down at him. Okay, so

720
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 2: one's afraid. One is kind of joyous. It means, oh

721
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 2: do I wait. Yeah, I'm gonna lay down. I'm so sorry. Fine,

722
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 2: there's a science to taro that I'm very serious about. Good.

723
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 2: Second card, we've got what I can only describe is

724
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 2: the boyfriend teaching the girl how to throw a football

725
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 2: style pose of a man behind a woman teaching her

726
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 2: to shoot a bow and arrow, which is explaining catness. Yes,

727
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 2: and he's kind of in a flowing like his robe

728
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 2: is could very well be open, and he's obviously nude

729
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 2: beneath that.

730
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 4: While we're going to be wearing that's a red robe.

731
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 4: That's what we're gonna be wearing when we.

732
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 2: Live in poo. Yeah, and she's kind of in an

733
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 2: Esmeralda style turquoise dress shooting a bow and arrow. And

734
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 2: then finally we've got like a mother and a child

735
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 2: with a plate they're approaching, a man with blue hair,

736
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 2: topless man, so and each til a top topless boy,

737
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 2: too topless boy. Yeah, we've got too topless males and

738
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 2: a woman that okay, yeah, I'm going to say that's

739
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 2: the mother or older friend or you know, May September,

740
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:23,879
Speaker 2: May November. Is that what the relationships called? Okay, so

741
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 2: mastery of that's just that's just called Malibu Baby. That's

742
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 2: Malibu living hoop in my corvette, single pointedness, and wait renewal.

743
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,759
Speaker 2: I was listening. Mastery of moods is kind of also

744
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 2: a listening exercise for both of us. We're going to

745
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 2: listen to another now. So for this first card with

746
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 2: the men throwing the roses and also being murdered, I'm

747
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: going to say, this is your upcoming year. You're going

748
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 2: to have some you're gonna have praise, you're going to

749
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: have the you've got the book coming out. People are

750
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 2: going to be going crazy throwing down the rewards of

751
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 2: the book. But at the same time, you've got murder murder,

752
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 2: you're moving into a new house. You're talking about two

753
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 2: separate cults. On a podcast, you're making yourself a target.

754
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I shouldn't have given my address so

755
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 4: many times.

756
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 2: I know, but that's what happens on a podcast. You

757
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 2: get a little loose. And but I'm now noticing another

758
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: detail on this. It says this too shall pass. Oh,

759
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 2: so that maybe that goes out to Charlie, your husband

760
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 2: and your son, who now have to move on without

761
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 2: their mother. That's right, Mommy, Mommy got murdered. Mommy got

762
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 2: murdered by oh show, Oh show came back dead. It

763
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 2: was never dead.

764
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 4: That tricky guy, of course, he's he's being That was

765
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 4: a tax thing, another tax thing.

766
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 2: He read the book and there was some level of jealousy.

767
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 2: He wants to be a published author. That's right.

768
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 4: Second, Oh, I'll introduce you to my it or she's love.

769
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 4: You didn't have to try to murder. Get in touch,

770
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 4: dm me. We follow each other.

771
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 2: Second card, So man'splaining. I mean, I think we're I mean,

772
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 2: I don't even want to get into this could mean.

773
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 2: Why don't you tell me what it means? I don't

774
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 2: even want to talk about the current state of affairs.

775
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: This cancel culture. Cancel culture is a big theme of

776
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 2: this podcast. I try to cancel somebody every episode. That's right.

777
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 2: Usually it's my guest. Something we've said in the last

778
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 2: there's always somebody just like nipping at our heels. But maybe,

779
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,439
Speaker 2: but let's just say surface level, somebody's going to teach

780
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 2: you how to shoot a bow and arrow, but you're

781
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: not going to learn enough to defend yourself in your

782
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:49,759
Speaker 2: own home.

783
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 4: From O Show, back to the Dead, to pass over

784
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 4: my boy and husband topless.

785
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,320
Speaker 2: Here, topless here. Yeah, next thing, what's going to be

786
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: able to dress? Because mommy's not home? Of course, the

787
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,919
Speaker 2: only woman in the picture at this point is your

788
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: son's older girlfriend. But I'm his girlfriend.

789
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 3: Until you've seen me with the baby, you've seen me

790
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 3: tell him, no one will ever love you like mommy

791
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 3: loves you.

792
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 2: Yes, I feel like he believes it's Oh my god.

793
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 4: I mean I am literally my plan for my son.

794
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 4: If I defy oh show as murder, if I actually

795
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 4: have good my aim is true and I and I

796
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 4: both and arrow him.

797
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 2: Today, sure, which I would because he's a murderer. And

798
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 2: that's that's okay. Also, just a Rolls Roice owner to cancel. Yeah,

799
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 2: let's cancel Rolls Rooice owners in this account? Is the

800
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 2: thinking behind somebody who makes that purchase. I don't know.

801
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. How does it not go through your

802
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 2: mind that you're just people will hate me? Yes? I

803
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 2: think if you're an elderly.

804
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 4: Woman in Pobby, Florida, and you've.

805
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 2: Paid your dues, this is murdered only acceptable, and like

806
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 2: maybe have a dog for coat, Yes, a dog for

807
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 2: coat and a dog.

808
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 4: Also in a dog for coat because that's how much

809
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 4: gaslighting you do. Then you can drive a Rolls Royce

810
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 4: and I respect you. Yeah, that's the only other person

811
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 4: anyone else.

812
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:18,839
Speaker 2: I'm not buying it. If you're below eighty years old

813
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 2: and you're in a Rolls Royce out of Yeah, so

814
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 2: that's interesting. I'm trying to think of how we got

815
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 2: to Rolls Royce. Well, no, I will.

816
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 4: I will say about marrying the baby, Yeah, yes, of course,

817
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 4: because now I'm now I'm very sad because my I

818
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,479
Speaker 4: don't want to die before I can marry my son.

819
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 2: And please let that be, Please let that be the

820
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 2: que or whatever that is. Please let mommy live long

821
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 2: enough to marry her baby boy. I've told you that

822
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 2: I am at my son's wedding.

823
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 4: Yes, my son, whose name I won't say because I'm

824
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 4: fiercely protective of only one thing.

825
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 2: Let's just call him.

826
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 4: What do we call him? Let's call him Sparkle Little,

827
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 4: So it's Sparkles's wedding. I will go up to the

828
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 4: man or woman that he is marrying, and i will

829
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 4: whisper into their ear.

830
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: I'm wearing his hair in a locket around my.

831
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 4: Neck, and then I'm gonna watch that person walk down

832
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,760
Speaker 4: the aisle toward my son and have the time.

833
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 2: Of my life. Just she is complete? He or she

834
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 2: yes here or she yes is completely. Let's be honest.

835
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 2: It's my child. He absolutely, he is scared of He

836
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,799
Speaker 2: scared of mommy in law, a monster in law. At

837
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,919
Speaker 2: that point, they're going to be remaking the movie as well.

838
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 2: I'll do it. Yeah, of course, I'll do right it,

839
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 2: write it now, put it decided. Then it will be

840
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 2: a period.

841
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:53,959
Speaker 3: That's right, put it decide. It'll be a quaint catch fire, yes,

842
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:55,439
Speaker 3: like the early twenty twenty.

843
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 4: Yes, they're going to be like, oh we wore, we

844
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 4: wore Coulottes o we love people.

845
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a direct dig at me. I wear a

846
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 2: lot of jumps Well, I want to wear a jumpsuit,

847
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 2: but I just feel like I keep I keep thinking,

848
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 2: am I too late for a jumpsuit? Then I'll go

849
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 2: to a party and see someone in a jumpsuit. I think, oh,

850
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 2: I'm maybe now, But then I wait up wearing the

851
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 2: same jumpsuit.

852
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 4: We've already talked about, right jumpsuits. At this point, we

853
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 4: are We're circling the drain here. What this podcast is

854
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,319
Speaker 4: telling us is that we need to be embraced that

855
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 4: we are autumns.

856
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,240
Speaker 2: We are absolutely autumns.

857
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 4: We need to wear a maroon colored jumpsuit and join

858
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 4: the cult that'll let us do that.

859
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 2: Yes, just give us the freedom. Yeah. Well, I think

860
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 2: we're at a point in the podcast where we could

861
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 2: play a game. I've got a game called Gift or

862
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 2: a Curse, And basically the rules are, I'm going to

863
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 2: name three things, okay, and you're going to tell me

864
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 2: if they're if you consider them a gift or a curse,

865
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 2: and then you're gonna tell me why you're going to

866
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 2: defend that, and then I'm going to tell if you're wrong,

867
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 2: because I'm right. So, but first I'm gonna need a

868
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 2: number between two and ten. Seven. Okay, I have to

869
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 2: go into my calculator. I understand ancient computer. Huh let

870
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 2: me seven. Okay, Bridger is moving the beads of an abacus. Okay,

871
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 2: we're almost there. Oh, this is this is a good

872
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 2: I think that we've got some good ones here. Okay,

873
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: so number one? Best? Do you think gift her a curse?

874
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,919
Speaker 2: Scented candles? Curse? Curse? Why?

875
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 4: That's the fastest answer I can give. Scented candles. Listen,

876
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 4: I'm not a I'm not a Yankee candle gal. Sure,

877
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 4: I am very sensitive to smells.

878
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 2: Okay, sure, sure.

879
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 4: And if I don't pick out the scent. If someone

880
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 4: else is telling me what my home, my Mickey Mouse

881
00:48:54,760 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 4: home should smell like, then that my friend is a curse.

882
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 2: That's an invasion. That's an invasion that I would I

883
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,239
Speaker 2: would say that's an assault. No. But okay, so you're saying,

884
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: if somebody gives you a scented candle, that's an absolutely yeah.

885
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 2: I agree on that level. But oh the concept of

886
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 2: oh I love a center.

887
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 4: Because I was gonna say, oh, you know that I

888
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,320
Speaker 4: have scented candles in my house.

889
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 2: I feel like everyone does. What sort of scented candles?

890
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 2: I feel like you've got kind of some. I feel

891
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:26,800
Speaker 2: like kind of earthy smelling.

892
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 4: Candle, sort of like an androgynous Yeah, yeah, I have

893
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 4: sort of like a very like bespoke bullshit handle. You

894
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 4: walk in and you're like, oh, this person saw what

895
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 4: was on sale at APC.

896
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 2: You know, do you have a favorite scent? I was

897
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:49,240
Speaker 2: given immediately back on what you said, You're alive.

898
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 4: I'm a psychopathic. Can we admit to anythinggie? Is that

899
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 4: a little stuffy?

900
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: No?

901
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 4: I think that's right. I think the only consistent thing

902
00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 4: about me is on.

903
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 2: You read my pillow. I think the tarot worked.

904
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 4: I'm finally realizing who I am, which is a pathological

905
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 4: fool you.

906
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 2: I will say this every few years, and then you'll

907
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 2: realize who you are.

908
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 3: The strongest man. I know I am the strongest man.

909
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 3: I know I'm a strong man in a lot of lives.

910
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 2: That's right, That's right, A lot of love.

911
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 4: I think A scented candle I like this one from

912
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 4: the former Stephen Allen outlet on.

913
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 2: Hillhurst, which closed because I was the only person who

914
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 2: ever went yeah, I was going to say, I'm not

915
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 2: familiar the discount store of nice clothes?

916
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 6: Now?

917
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 2: Is this the place that was taken over recently by

918
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 2: an expensive candy which will be closed?

919
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 4: I'll never go You'll never go there. I'll go there

920
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 4: as soon as my child is of age. Every day,

921
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 4: get him lollipop so that he marries mommy. The Yeah, no,

922
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 4: I I like one from there. I don't remember what

923
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 4: it's called, Mary Lewis Louis. It has like little Sarah

924
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,879
Speaker 4: font in a big white Sure.

925
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 2: It was kind of like a mysterious nice smell. Yeah,

926
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 2: it's like it's it's like a eucalyptusy woodsy tobacco e okay,

927
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 2: something that it's like a man lives here too, tobacco.

928
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: It's an interesting We're totally okay with it. But when

929
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 2: my Downsenter's neighbors are smoking, I'm called the police, Absolutely,

930
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 2: the police. I hate these Yeah, I need the tobaccos constantly.

931
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 2: What in the house. Yes, I mean we're not going

932
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 2: to get into this now, but that's I'm at war

933
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 2: with these two French Canadians. Of course they're French Canadians.

934
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 2: Don't you know that.

935
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 4: I don't care if we lose that whole audience of

936
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 4: like TOOI they don't speak They speak French, but they

937
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 4: speak it with the shittiest accent.

938
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:47,280
Speaker 2: Okay, now back off. There may we have one listener

939
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,959
Speaker 2: in Japan, that's right, possibly somebody in Montreal. I would

940
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 2: love to live in Montreal, smoking and listening to this

941
00:51:53,440 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 2: in the bank. Yeah, leave me alone. Okay, So okay,

942
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 2: so I actually agree. Candles are scented candles for the

943
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: most part, when you're in control of the situation. Or

944
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 2: a gift, yeah, you know, you can get your house

945
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 2: smelling nice. Yeah, let's move on to the next thing. Okay,

946
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 2: gift or a curse? Carpeted bathrooms? I mean, what what worse? Pestilence?

947
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,920
Speaker 2: What that is? A plague? That's not a curse? A

948
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 2: carpeted bathroom. You're just saying, I would like to be

949
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 2: stepping on infinite P. I would like to be stepping

950
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 2: on P, and then track that it's a litter box.

951
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 2: A carpeted bathroom is a human litter box, and you're

952
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: tracking it all over your house. What have you ever

953
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 2: been in a carpeted I've never been. You've never been

954
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 2: in a carpeted bathroom.

955
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,479
Speaker 4: It is, Oh, you don't go to like Sean Wayne

956
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 4: Gacy's house, carpeted bathroom.

957
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 2: There are two things that are truly architectural insanity, which

958
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 2: are a carpeted bathroom and a light switch outside of

959
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 2: a room, Oh, controls the light. That's that's if you're

960
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 2: in a carpeted bathroom and then you realize there's no lights,

961
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 2: which you're Okay, there's gonna be blood all over this carpet.

962
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 2: I'm going to slip over the state. I mean, I've

963
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 2: been in maybe more carpeted bathrooms than i'd like to.

964
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,399
Speaker 2: Is this a Utah thing? I might say a Utah thing?

965
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 2: I mean because I'm you know, I'm from Utah. I

966
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 2: don't recall.

967
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 4: Is it that it's cold, and because I understand people

968
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 4: not wanting to have their feet on cold bathroom.

969
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 2: On some slippers, put on some sucks. Have a bath mat.

970
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 2: Here's what I do. I have a bath mat.

971
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 4: We have one bathroom in our house. I have a

972
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 4: bath mat in front of the sink and a bath

973
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 4: mat in front of the shower.

974
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 2: That's all you need. But not in front of the toilet.

975
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 2: You're getting a mildew all over that carpet. There's no

976
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 2: way that's ever getting clean, not just the pea, the water,

977
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 2: a carpeted bathroom.

978
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 4: You did have a friend growing up whose parents had

979
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 4: a plush toilet seat.

980
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 2: Oh, that sort of thing is discussed, so discussing. But

981
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 2: at the time I thought, this is the lap of

982
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 2: literal lap of lovetury. At the time, I like, I

983
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 2: couldn't wait to go over.

984
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 4: And I will not say her name, she should be disgraced,

985
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,879
Speaker 4: But I couldn't wait to go over to her house.

986
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 4: I would drink a ton of water that I actually

987
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 4: I drinking pre son, and I would just sit there

988
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 4: and wait to pee and'd be so happy.

989
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: You couldn't go back to hard porcelain. I couldn't. I

990
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,479
Speaker 2: could not that sort of thing. I mean, I don't.

991
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 2: I don't even I can't even begin to figure out

992
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 2: why you would want that on a toilet. See that

993
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 2: seems they make it. They make a it's like a

994
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 2: terry cloth toilet seed. It does harry cloth. It's like

995
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 2: a fluffy this There is no way that's ever been

996
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,839
Speaker 2: It was clean when it was installed, and then immediately

997
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 2: playground for bacteria is playground that's the company name, Devil's Playground.

998
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 2: Let's sit down, just sit on Hell. That is welcome

999
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 2: to Hell. Okay, you know, I think I think you're

1000
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 2: actually two for two. I agree with you there. I

1001
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 2: think that a carpeted bathroom is a curse and also

1002
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 2: just like a sign of mania, you are a lunatic

1003
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 2: person or something's going on and have your voting rights

1004
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:30,879
Speaker 2: taken away. Absolutely the best final item on the list,

1005
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 2: Quaker Oatmeal Squares. The Cereal Quaker Oatmeal Squares comes in.

1006
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 2: I think it's like a blue box. You've of course

1007
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 2: got the Quaker oat man. Are you familiar.

1008
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 4: I've I love the idea of this. I've never had

1009
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 4: the cereal. You're not you're You're not talking oatmeal.

1010
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 2: You're talking This is ri cereal dried oatmeal like a

1011
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 2: little oatmeal pillow.

1012
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 4: Are they like a Quaker oats chewy bar? But because

1013
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 4: I like that they have a hint of brown sugar,

1014
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 4: I believe. I don't know if I I have to

1015
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 4: then you still because I've never had this or not,

1016
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 4: you have to decide going deep, you know what I

1017
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 4: I Here's what I think. I am a tough customer

1018
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 4: when it comes to Cereal.

1019
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 2: Sure, what are you eating? I'm eating Moosely. Okay, I've

1020
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: never had Moosely.

1021
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 4: I love Moosely. I feel like, here's why I probably

1022
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:26,239
Speaker 4: don't like Mooseley. But it's something my mom ate growing up,

1023
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 4: and so when I could buy my own groceries, I

1024
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 4: bought Moosey, and then you know, I was a lady.

1025
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 4: I think I only eat it because it makes me

1026
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 4: feel grown up. Sure and vaguely European.

1027
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 2: Oh of course. Yeah, that's the one cereal that's going

1028
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 2: to make you feel like you're on the content.

1029
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 4: That's right, And I've gotten there. I don't think this

1030
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 4: needs to be said, but I've gone there via Kiwi

1031
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 4: two beautiful. But the Quaker oatmeal square cereal, I don't.

1032
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 4: I honestly, I think if it were that, I believe

1033
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 4: there's no better snack than that. This really is going

1034
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 4: to sound branded. Okay, and by the way, as you

1035
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:08,279
Speaker 4: neither believe that. But if you were to give me

1036
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 4: the option between like a fancy Whole Foods granola bar

1037
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 4: or just the Quaker the chewy bar chocolate chips, I'm

1038
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:19,040
Speaker 4: going chocolate chips.

1039
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 2: Every time.

1040
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 5: It's a space age snack, it's gooey. It's like something

1041
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 5: it's so sweet. Yes, but it's healthy. It makes me

1042
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 5: happy to picture yourself stranded on the moon like, oh dessert, Yes, glass.

1043
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 4: Ground controlled the major tom I'm eating a snack.

1044
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 2: Got a sweet too? Yes? Do we have to pay

1045
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 2: for that? In the state of David Bowie sues this, Okay, Well,

1046
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 2: so I don't. I think I'm no. I think I'm no.

1047
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 2: You're saying it's a curse. I'm saying I don't. I

1048
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 2: don't want. I don't want that cereal. I want. I've

1049
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 2: asked you, allow you to. I have to get a

1050
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 2: gift or a curse. You're too for two right now,

1051
00:57:56,400 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 2: right now, you have a third thing. I know you

1052
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 2: don't want to kill your streak, but I need an

1053
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 2: answer from you. It's a gift, Bridger, It's a gift

1054
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 2: because here's why. I bet it's sweet. That's You're absolutely right,

1055
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 2: that's a gift. I'm not a I don't eat cold

1056
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 2: cereal anymore. I mean the last time I really ate

1057
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 2: cold cereal was probably high school. I want to say,

1058
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 2: but anytime I come across a qua Quaker oatmeal square,

1059
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: I think, why are we all eating this? Right? It's

1060
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 2: an incredible not too sweet, a hint of sweetness, the

1061
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 2: perfect crunch. I like, I mean, obviously, right now, I should.

1062
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 2: I should just always have Quaker oatmeal. People would love

1063
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: to hear the sound of a mouth crunching oatmeal. Okay, well,

1064
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 2: good job. I don't know. I feel like you did

1065
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 2: a decent job there, and you really a shot shot

1066
00:58:58,200 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: in the dark.

1067
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 4: I would say that I waffled so much with the

1068
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 4: first question that I can't be I will that was,

1069
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 4: but sometimes you have to, right, So I kicked.

1070
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 2: Into my own goal, so to speak. Yeah, okay, so

1071
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 2: we're we have one final thing to do here. This

1072
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 2: part of the podcast is called I Said No Questions.

1073
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 2: This is for listeners who need some help. People every

1074
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 2: day are in need of help trying to figure out

1075
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 2: gifts for loved ones, friends, enemies, coworkers, colleagues. Did I

1076
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 2: already say colleagues, now, acquaintances, whatever. There's always a new

1077
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 2: opportunity to give somebody a gift. So people are writing

1078
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 2: in and they're getting advice from me and my guests.

1079
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 2: We're going to try to give a couple of people

1080
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 2: some advice. I'm going to read a question from somebody

1081
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 2: and then we'll try to figure it out. God, I

1082
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 2: love the people. We both love the people. And the

1083
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 2: kind of help I know, I know, I know. We

1084
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 2: wake up and we go out. Can I help?

1085
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1086
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:05,120
Speaker 2: What can I do in the world that will just

1087
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 2: bring a little light? I love that we do that. Okay,

1088
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 2: so first up, this first question, says Bridger. And then

1089
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 2: of course they didn't. They don't mention you. I'm sorry, Well,

1090
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 2: I like to I don't like the credit. Of course,

1091
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 2: I need to find a decent gift for my wife Jessica.

1092
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,479
Speaker 2: She wants ear rings, but I buy her jewelry every year.

1093
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:27,280
Speaker 2: She's a super mom and does a great job of

1094
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 2: raising our two kids, both under three, and I want

1095
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:33,400
Speaker 2: her to know how much I appreciate her. How can

1096
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 2: I show her? How can I get her a gift?

1097
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 2: Greg in Berlin, Oh, German? Somebody living in Germany. Interesting, Okay,

1098
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 2: has two small children. I as not a parent, you

1099
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 2: as a parent and a mother. I feel like you're

1100
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 2: probably going to have some decent level of insight into

1101
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 2: this you need under Germany, I have, I have not,

1102
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:59,000
Speaker 2: and I will not. Okay, of course, I you know,

1103
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 2: don't go We'll leave that off we'll come back. It's great.

1104
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 4: Unless I meet anyone over eighty five and I'll just

1105
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 4: automatically kill them. But uh, no, big deal whatever, bygones. Anyway,

1106
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 4: the I'm Jewish? Uh if you couldn't tell, I don't

1107
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 4: know what that means. Okay, I honestly, first of all,

1108
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 4: I don't want to give a comedy answer to this.

1109
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 4: Jessica has two kids under three.

1110
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 2: Respect to Jessica, I'm barely able to dress myself every day.

1111
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,800
Speaker 4: Yes, I I will say, I dress my child much

1112
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:38,960
Speaker 4: better than I dressed.

1113
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,640
Speaker 2: The outfits of Ben. It's hit after him.

1114
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. I'm trying to get him, you know,

1115
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:46,480
Speaker 4: some kind of.

1116
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 3: Husband for you you don't want to be. No, no, no,

1117
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 3: no no. He's got to look what mommy's are. And

1118
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 3: so for Jessica two kids under three, Greg, Greg.

1119
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:07,440
Speaker 4: Greg, what she wants and I will speak for her,

1120
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 4: is a let's let's let's let's give it a week

1121
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 4: of making dinner every night.

1122
01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 2: Oh this sounds incredible. Of doing the goddamn dishes, sure

1123
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 2: of doing the laundry. Okay, if you do those three

1124
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 2: things for a week, if you make Jessica dinner every night,

1125
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,880
Speaker 2: it's for her birthday holidays.

1126
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 4: He doesn't say, okay, So let's go at her birthday

1127
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:36,760
Speaker 4: week a term bridger and high love for both huge

1128
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 4: birthday week.

1129
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 2: Birthday week, birthday month, more birthday week freaks for birthday.

1130
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 2: Every person I come in contact it with into my

1131
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 2: birthday world, just expect that attention. That's right, and so

1132
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 2: for her birthday week, do that.

1133
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 4: I would say the best gift that you can give

1134
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 4: a mother to young children is the gift of.

1135
01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 2: Ease, and so doing as much time off, make her

1136
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 2: a decade in dinners every night, or if it's just

1137
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 2: for a one time thing, if it's like a holiday

1138
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 2: the night, then then that's what you pick.

1139
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 4: A great elaborate, let's call it an Odelangi style meal,

1140
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 4: and you have to go to a specialty market to

1141
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 4: get that sumac.

1142
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 2: Yes, there's going to be well made hummus. It's going

1143
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:24,800
Speaker 2: to be a gorgeous chickpie hummus. Make her a decadent meal,

1144
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 2: and I guarantee like that that she will cry, and

1145
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 2: let's be honest, she will. She will get pregnant again

1146
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 2: that night. She'll have to do this all over anymore.

1147
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 4: Right, she's breastfeeding. Congratulations. The license.

1148
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:48,240
Speaker 2: That's how you say cong Okay, I think that's a

1149
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:51,880
Speaker 2: decent Make her a meal, and then, also, I don't

1150
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:56,160
Speaker 2: know a thing. Let's get her a new like a

1151
01:03:56,240 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 2: new pair of shoes, shoes, and get her the Zoom

1152
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 2: you for her a Galaxy time, get her a sidewinder,

1153
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:13,760
Speaker 2: get her game gear. That's honestly what.

1154
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 5: I would want. Why don't I have.

1155
01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,880
Speaker 4: A game boy or game gear from all of these

1156
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 4: late night breastfeeding.

1157
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:23,840
Speaker 2: Yes, just a little something that while the baby is there, Jessica,

1158
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 2: turn it on. I will say this to hell with

1159
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:28,760
Speaker 2: Jessica and her and her rug rats. Send it best on.

1160
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 2: Nintendo Switch. Get me a switch, Charlie, get no, I don't.

1161
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 2: I don't know how to use a switch. I would

1162
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 2: learn immediate.

1163
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 4: Okay, thank you for having that faith. I guarantee I wouldn't.

1164
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 4: I guarantee it would be Charlie's worst nightmare. I I

1165
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:43,720
Speaker 4: think I turned mamolume off.

1166
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 2: Okay, So basically, for Jessica, it's either a week off

1167
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:55,120
Speaker 2: or a Nintendo Nintendo either or maybe both, maybe both.

1168
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 2: While she's doing all the housework, oh, she's gaming. Meanwhile,

1169
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 2: she's become a hardcore games Jessica's capsule women. She has

1170
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:14,960
Speaker 2: been tearing down women online. She's just going after her journalists. Yeah,

1171
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:17,920
Speaker 2: she's become a racist. She's a racist. She's been radicalized.

1172
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 4: She's been radicalized through the gaming reddit vertical and she

1173
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:24,920
Speaker 4: needs to be canceled.

1174
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:31,760
Speaker 2: And she's been enjoying these lovely going on Chicken milanaise. Okay,

1175
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 2: all right, Greg, good luck, good luck. Okay, So this

1176
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 2: next one, I mean, the question is pretty long, so

1177
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:40,800
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna sum it up. This guy has written

1178
01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 2: in it's his dad's sixty fifth birthday coming up in August.

1179
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:48,000
Speaker 2: Apparently his dad is a terrible gift receiver. Within seconds

1180
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:50,760
Speaker 2: of opening any gift, he immediately says there's something wrong

1181
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:55,760
Speaker 2: with it. He says that he's looking for a mid

1182
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 2: priced gift that his dad won't immediately recognize has problems.

1183
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:02,080
Speaker 2: Maybe later he'll find a problem with it, but by

1184
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 2: then this guy will be gone. This his best Joe

1185
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:08,480
Speaker 2: in Malibu. We've been talking about Malibus. Joe and his

1186
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 2: age inappropriate. Somebody at this in this family is not

1187
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 2: half their age. That's right. Joe's got an earring. Yes

1188
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 2: here you know. I was on Joe's side, but now Malibu.

1189
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,040
Speaker 2: I'm back and forth. Let's assume Joe's in kind of

1190
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 2: a serf shat, Okay, I'll appreciate that. Maybe yeah, Okay,

1191
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:32,320
Speaker 2: he's a palatial I don't know the Rolls Royce or

1192
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 2: a mid price gift soot person.

1193
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 4: Okay, good, he's just a cool stoner who survived the fire.

1194
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:43,720
Speaker 2: Maybe Daddy though, Okay, here's the thing, Uh, that is

1195
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:47,480
Speaker 2: not a father that you are ever going to please, Joe, Joe,

1196
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:49,920
Speaker 2: Daddy is the problem. Your gifts aren't the proper the

1197
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 2: gifts you've been trying every year after Let's assume forty years.

1198
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 4: Forty years and your nineteen year old girlfriend and you

1199
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 4: have to go over to your father's house watch him

1200
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 4: be disappointed year after year.

1201
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 2: Why is he criticized? I don't know that person needs

1202
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 2: to learn to just accept a gift. No, but here's

1203
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:11,439
Speaker 2: what I say. This person, this father, needs to learn

1204
01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 2: what it's like to have no gift. Here's the gift

1205
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 2: that Joe gives. He doesn't show up on the birthday.

1206
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 2: He doesn't show up on the goddamn birthday. Daddy's gift

1207
01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:21,960
Speaker 2: is silence and lowliness. Slowly so I can learn in

1208
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:25,600
Speaker 2: the solitude. That's how to accept a gift, especially baby's gift.

1209
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 2: Baby's gift. Your son has been working, working, working, and

1210
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 2: he just wants you to smile and say thanks son,

1211
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:36,160
Speaker 2: your son. I use this polishing Harrison Ford's airplane.

1212
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 4: Yes, make him tips and he this daddy doesn't get

1213
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 4: babies in praced this year.

1214
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:47,400
Speaker 2: No. Can you imagine a father criticizing a gift. I

1215
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:50,240
Speaker 2: wouldn't hear of it. Well, look, I mean, Joe, I'm

1216
01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:53,560
Speaker 2: going to speak personally here as somebody who I gave

1217
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 2: my dad gifts four years. Every single gift was returned. No,

1218
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. Wait, I think I knew this, but

1219
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm listening to this. That's fine, we love him, but

1220
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:09,520
Speaker 2: this is something that eventually I've stopped giving him gifts,

1221
01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:11,240
Speaker 2: right because they would get returned. That's what you have

1222
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,840
Speaker 2: to do. You're not a point. Get your father an

1223
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:17,519
Speaker 2: errand yes, so you know, and now we're at peace

1224
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 2: with each other. Good. He doesn't need the gift. Maybe

1225
01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:22,800
Speaker 2: I'll get him a gift certificate to a restaurant, but

1226
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 2: you know, it's again for mommy, and it's also something

1227
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:27,839
Speaker 2: that's just going to get returned. So you just figure

1228
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:30,760
Speaker 2: that out and then because he bars it up. Turn. Yeah,

1229
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:40,719
Speaker 2: there's a lot your dad's bark that sounds like Dad

1230
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:44,680
Speaker 2: doesn't get us sixty fifth, maybe seventieth birthday, he'll be

1231
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,679
Speaker 2: ready to accept a gift. I doubt it because they'll

1232
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:48,519
Speaker 2: be estranged by then.

1233
01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 4: Because it sounds like this Dad will brow a fit

1234
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:52,080
Speaker 4: if Joe doesn't show up on our advice.

1235
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 2: So we're kind of putting a wedge between father and

1236
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:57,960
Speaker 2: son here, and that's fine. That's what this podcast is

1237
01:08:58,040 --> 01:09:01,320
Speaker 2: for us to just get families to fall apart, apart,

1238
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:05,320
Speaker 2: and then you find yourself once you've kind of removed

1239
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,920
Speaker 2: yourself from the family. Once you get to poon, you

1240
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 2: join the cult. Yeah, of course, where everyone who isn't

1241
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:16,040
Speaker 2: part of the cult or join scientology and declare them suppressive. Yes,

1242
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:19,760
Speaker 2: any of these groups allows you a new family that's

1243
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:21,880
Speaker 2: not going to expect any level of gift. All they

1244
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 2: want you is to a lot of money as well.

1245
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:26,479
Speaker 2: Yeah the money. Of course, you're just going to be

1246
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:32,040
Speaker 2: financially yes, and we'll pick up some probably bad habits

1247
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:36,000
Speaker 2: and be mistreated, but in a different ways. Actually, of course,

1248
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 2: there's something to be said about get a cult. You know,

1249
01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:45,080
Speaker 2: you know, you know what it's. You know what it is.

1250
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 2: You know at least you know what it is. You

1251
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:50,240
Speaker 2: know there's a Rolls Royce involved Rolls Royce. Someone's going

1252
01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:52,719
Speaker 2: to be fleeing the country in a plane at some point.

1253
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:55,519
Speaker 2: And they say, all right, everyone on the plane you

1254
01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:57,799
Speaker 2: live and wherever now? Yes?

1255
01:09:57,920 --> 01:09:59,720
Speaker 4: And you say, you know what, I know where my

1256
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,160
Speaker 4: next meals coming from.

1257
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:05,240
Speaker 2: It's going to be a full of gruel or Quaker

1258
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:11,439
Speaker 2: Omealed Squares's. We've got some help, please, Quaker. I'm reaching

1259
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 2: out to you. I'm begging you for that. I mean

1260
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:20,639
Speaker 2: sponsor personally. I think it's I think that about dozes

1261
01:10:21,240 --> 01:10:23,360
Speaker 2: there anything you'd like to I'd like to give you

1262
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 2: some opportunity to promote. You've got the book. I want

1263
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:28,320
Speaker 2: people to know. Nobody will tell you this but me

1264
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 2: is the title of this book. It's beautiful. It's heart wrenching.

1265
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:35,280
Speaker 2: It's also extremely funny. Go look at that. You can

1266
01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:37,120
Speaker 2: read best in the New Yorker. You can read her

1267
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 2: on Twitter. She's all over the place, She's everywhere and nowhere.

1268
01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:46,400
Speaker 2: I'm just breastfeeding my baby Sparkle. You can find her

1269
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:50,120
Speaker 2: at her address. It's times. Do please show up we

1270
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:54,680
Speaker 2: do not have a ring. Thank you, Richard, this is

1271
01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:57,280
Speaker 2: it's just nice to chat, of course, and thank you

1272
01:10:57,320 --> 01:10:59,559
Speaker 2: for the terror I'm going to learn. I'm please go

1273
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:01,799
Speaker 2: home and read up on this. And if I vanish

1274
01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:05,519
Speaker 2: under mysterious circumstances, don't come looking for me. I never will.

1275
01:11:05,760 --> 01:11:07,880
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I hope everyone's having a wonderful time

1276
01:11:07,920 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 2: and we'll say goodbye now. I said no gifts isn't

1277
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:15,879
Speaker 2: exactly right production. It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen Ray Morris.

1278
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 2: The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann. You

1279
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:21,760
Speaker 2: can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter. At I

1280
01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:24,760
Speaker 2: said no gifts, And if you have a question or

1281
01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:27,240
Speaker 2: need help getting a gift for someone in your life,

1282
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:31,479
Speaker 2: email me at I said no gifts at gmail dot com.

1283
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:35,320
Speaker 2: Listen and subscribe on Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you

1284
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:37,840
Speaker 2: found me, and why not leave a review while you're

1285
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:38,240
Speaker 2: at it?

1286
01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 1: Hello?

1287
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:42,520
Speaker 2: And why did you hear.

1288
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:44,960
Speaker 1: Gon?

1289
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:45,280
Speaker 2: A man?

1290
01:11:45,439 --> 01:11:47,240
Speaker 1: Myself perfectly clear?

1291
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:49,160
Speaker 2: But you're a.

1292
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 1: Guess to me. You gotta come to me empty And

1293
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:04,599
Speaker 1: I said, no guests, yours presence enough. I already had

1294
01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:08,960
Speaker 1: too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey

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01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:09,760
Speaker 1: me