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Speaker 1: Right now it is time for today's Strawberry Letter. And

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Speaker 1: if you need advice and relationships on sex, on dating,

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Speaker 1: on work, on parenting, on more, submit to your Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: anything you want to add to that Steve. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: know when you click click hold, just click it really

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Speaker 1: home and that's gonna do you know that investor hard

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Speaker 1: click it. That's what it is. Get yours in faster,

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Speaker 1: buckle up a hole. Long time we got it here.

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Speaker 1: It is a Strawberry letter. All right, thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to get through this all right. Subject.

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Speaker 1: Am I trifling or ungrateful? Dear Stephen Shirley. I am

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Speaker 1: a forty two year old single mother and I have

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Speaker 1: two teenage children that live with me. At my age,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to become a homeowner and stop renting, so

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Speaker 1: I started looking for an affordable place to buy. My

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Speaker 1: mom recently received a financial blessing, so she offered me

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Speaker 1: to buy me a house. So she offered to buy

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Speaker 1: me a house. Hesitantly, I agreed. I found a small,

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Speaker 1: affordable home and my mother bought it. I pay the mortgage,

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Speaker 1: but The house is in my mom's name, which is

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Speaker 1: why I was hesitant to go through with the deal.

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Speaker 1: I should have followed my first mind, because since I

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Speaker 1: have moved in, I have not had any peace in

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Speaker 1: my home. On several occasions, I came home to find

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Speaker 1: that my mother had put pictures on the wall, put

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Speaker 1: up curtains, and bought pieces of furniture from my house.

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Speaker 1: She is a thrifty shopper, so I don't like any

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Speaker 1: of the design choices she has made. One day, she

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Speaker 1: dropped off ten vases and told me she planned to

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Speaker 1: keep fresh flowers in them and put them throughout my

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Speaker 1: house to liven it up. She comes over every other day,

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Speaker 1: and she stays overnight too. This is unacceptable. I had

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Speaker 1: to tell her that enough is enough. I asked her

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Speaker 1: to please text or call me before coming by. She

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Speaker 1: made sure to remind me that it's her house, that

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Speaker 1: it's her house. She called me an ungrateful heffuday and

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Speaker 1: said I was trifling for not appreciating the way she's

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Speaker 1: trying to help me to decorate the house. I haven't

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Speaker 1: talked to her, nor have I seen her in a week,

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Speaker 1: so I guess it worked. I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: at odds with my mom. I'm very grateful for all

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Speaker 1: she's done, but I need her to respect my space.

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Speaker 1: Am I wrong? Please? Help? No, you're not wrong. You

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Speaker 1: are absolutely not wrong, especially you know, as long as

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Speaker 1: you spoke to your mom in a respectful way, and

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you did. But boy, this is really

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Speaker 1: a case for going with your first mind, for going

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Speaker 1: with your gut here. This has got to be in

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Speaker 1: the top five of that. You know, you knew it

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Speaker 1: would be a problem though, which is why you said

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Speaker 1: you were hesitant the first place. But that down payment,

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Speaker 1: your mama's money, was dangling in your face, so you

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Speaker 1: went forward. The lesson for you here is you know

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Speaker 1: you should have got your name on the house as well.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, your mom paid the down payment, but

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Speaker 1: you could have put your name on the deed um

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Speaker 1: shortly after portrait. You could have done like a quick

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Speaker 1: claim um, you know, transaction, or just waited until you

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Speaker 1: came up with the money for your own house. You

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Speaker 1: could have done that. Because you've been looking for a while,

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Speaker 1: you could have been a little more patient. I understand

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Speaker 1: you wanted to get the house so and you found

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Speaker 1: oneed it was right there and your mom was there.

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Speaker 1: But in the meantime, yes, your mom is order order. Uh.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you give someone a gift, you don't

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Speaker 1: hover it over them, you know, and and and invade

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Speaker 1: their space like your mom's doing. Constantly remind you that

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Speaker 1: is her house. That's not right. I mean, she's throwing

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Speaker 1: it up in your face every chance she gets. Furthermore,

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Speaker 1: you're paying the mortgage, you are, so it's it is

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Speaker 1: your house. I'm glad she's decided to remove her herself

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Speaker 1: from the situation and you could probably you know, a

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Speaker 1: little later on give us some time, call her and

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Speaker 1: you know, make your apologies. You guys, make up. She's

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Speaker 1: your mom. She's not going anywhere. But yeah, she's wrong

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Speaker 1: to do all of this. I mean, nice to help you,

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Speaker 1: but wrong as far as this is concerned. Steve, Well, anytime,

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Speaker 1: y'all ready for me to make the clear fine statement

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Speaker 1: of this letter. Please stop me in the middle of

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Speaker 1: it and ask me at any time, Steve, do you

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Speaker 1: have a clear, fine statement? And I'm gonna make it.

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Speaker 1: Let's start with the letter forty two single mama, two

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Speaker 1: teenage children. You know she always thought that body and

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Speaker 1: she'd be at home on the most people do. That's

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Speaker 1: a great goal in life, you know, be at home

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Speaker 1: on and stop written. So you start looking for an

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Speaker 1: affordable place. Your mom ran into so a financial blessing.

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Speaker 1: See now here we go, let's start. This is a

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Speaker 1: financial blessing. All your problems started with what you considered

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Speaker 1: a blessing. See careful, Your mama came up with a

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Speaker 1: financial blessing. It's wasn't yours, It's wasn't them kids. It's

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Speaker 1: when your dad is. It's what none of your siblings.

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Speaker 1: Your mama had a financial blessing. So she offered to

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Speaker 1: buy me a house. Hesitantly, I agreed. Why why would

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Speaker 1: you hesitantly agree? But you found a small, affordable home

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Speaker 1: and my mother bought it. Your mama bought it. I

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Speaker 1: pay the mortgage, but the house is in my mama name. Now,

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Speaker 1: if your mother was truly buying you the house, why

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Speaker 1: wouldn't she just give you the down payment and let

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Speaker 1: you own the house. That is because this was never

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Speaker 1: the intention. She just gonna let you stay down right,

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Speaker 1: which is why I was hesitant to go through the deal.

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Speaker 1: I should have followed my first mind. I have not

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Speaker 1: had any peace in my home it's cause it ain't choice.

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Speaker 1: So let's just gonna get to this right. On several

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Speaker 1: occasions I came home find my mother had put pictures

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Speaker 1: on the walls and curtain and bought the place's furniture

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Speaker 1: in her house from my house. That's causes her house.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your responses

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Speaker 1: anytime y'all want to clear fine statement when we come back.

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Speaker 1: Just an I'm gonna ask you. We'll be back in

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Speaker 1: twenty three after the hour with today's Strawberry letters? Subject

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Speaker 1: am I trifling or ungrateful? Right after this you're listening

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Speaker 1: to show. All right, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letters.

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Speaker 1: The recap is simpleness. Woman over here for the two

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Speaker 1: got these kids. I always wanted to own the house.

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Speaker 1: Her mama ran into a financial blessing a gift from God. Hallelujah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Then her mama decided she'd help her daughter out by

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Speaker 1: buying her house. So she bought the house. She paid

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Speaker 1: a mortgage, but it's in her mama's name, which is

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Speaker 1: why she was hesitant in the first place. Let's go

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Speaker 1: over what I said. I have not had any peace

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Speaker 1: in my home well, that cause it ain't choice. On

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Speaker 1: several cases, I can't home find My mother put pigs

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Speaker 1: on wall and put them curtains and bought piece of

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Speaker 1: furniture from my house. Excuse me her house. She's a

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Speaker 1: thrifty shopper, so I don't like any design choices she made.

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Speaker 1: One day, she dropped off ten faces, told me she

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Speaker 1: planned to keep fresh flowers in them and put them

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Speaker 1: throughout my house to liven it up. She' gonna put

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Speaker 1: it in her house and they ain't gonna stay live.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have a bunch of dad had flowers in

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Speaker 1: the house. She comes over. You want it anytime you

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Speaker 1: want it. What's the clarifying statement? Can't let black people

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Speaker 1: put their name on nothing. This is what this is

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Speaker 1: all about. You can't let base people put their name

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Speaker 1: on nothing and then try to act like they ain't

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Speaker 1: got no say something. Huh. That's the clarifying statement. I'll

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Speaker 1: give it to you anytime you want it. Here's another one.

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Speaker 1: She come over every day. She stays overnight too, because

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Speaker 1: she at her house. This is unacceptable and unacceptable to

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Speaker 1: who my name on it? What you don't like it?

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Speaker 1: So I had to tell the other enough is enough.

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Speaker 1: I ask her to please text and call me before

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Speaker 1: coming back. Why I gotta call you to come back

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Speaker 1: my house? She may show to remind me that it's

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Speaker 1: her house. She got she cat a deed with them. Huh.

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Speaker 1: Can you make a clarifying statement. You can't let black

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Speaker 1: people put their name on nothing, nothing out the least

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Speaker 1: the mortgage. They can't co sign, no damn low. They

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Speaker 1: can't rinch you, no damn car. You can't let the

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Speaker 1: ass man by you a car. They can't rent a car.

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Speaker 1: They can't get you a truck to move in. You

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Speaker 1: ain't packing all that stuff in that truck. I got

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Speaker 1: the card back description up. You can't get it in rescription.

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Speaker 1: You I need to it impels. You can't do nothing.

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Speaker 1: You can't put that black people put their name on nothing.

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Speaker 1: I've been been around black people my whole life. I'll

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Speaker 1: be six or two years old in a minute. I've

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Speaker 1: been black the whole time. All my relatives is black,

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Speaker 1: ever last one of them. You can't let them put

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Speaker 1: their damn name on nothing. She called me, ungrateful, help

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Speaker 1: for that's that's the beginning. Now you I'm grateful help you.

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Speaker 1: You wait till you get to the reunion and find

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Speaker 1: out what your plans really is. You can't let black

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Speaker 1: people put their name on nothing, and you're not fitting

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Speaker 1: to hear about it. You can best to believe this thing,

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Speaker 1: and said I was trifling and for not appreciating the

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Speaker 1: way she was trying to help me decorate the house.

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Speaker 1: That nobody want all the old A declarations in here,

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Speaker 1: because mamma, you old got all these blue farm plates

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Speaker 1: sitting up on top of the mantel pieces. Got that

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Speaker 1: big giant wooden spooning fuck on the wall. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: coming in here. I'm hearing my daddy in here hamming

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Speaker 1: walnut paneling up on the wall. Mama, who Mama? Whoarded

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Speaker 1: this shag cop? Why is it a rak in the corner? Mamma?

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Speaker 1: Where you get that phone? That's a TV staying baby

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Speaker 1: her TV stand for the color TV to sit her.

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Speaker 1: Mama wanted flash Cleena, You just flash screens? Is the

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Speaker 1: devil has all that little stuff coming out of that

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Speaker 1: flash screen? They ain't nothing, but that's say you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get a picture tube. It's what you need. Christians. Christians

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Speaker 1: have picture too. I haven't talked to her, nor have

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Speaker 1: I seen her in a week. Well, hell, that's lucky

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Speaker 1: shit coming back, though you can belie. I haven't talked

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Speaker 1: to her nor seen her in a week. Oh she

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Speaker 1: got she getting a lawyer? What chicketting a lawyer? When

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Speaker 1: you come over there, you're gonna have fiction notices and

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Speaker 1: people gonna be saying good body your aunt. So I

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Speaker 1: guess it worked. Ain't nothing worth. Her name is still

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Speaker 1: on a damn d I don't want to be at

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Speaker 1: os with my mama. I have very grateful for all

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Speaker 1: she's done, but I need her to respect my space

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Speaker 1: and my wrong. You ain't got no space. I just

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Speaker 1: tell you you can't put people's name on nothing. That's

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Speaker 1: that's her TV, that's her room, that's that's poach, that's

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Speaker 1: our tree. Long can black people rench you a rule?

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Speaker 1: If they rench you a rule, you might come home

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Speaker 1: and don't be no dough on it. And I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you another statement to pope. People don't share good.

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Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that because somebody

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Speaker 1: have to be in charge of the other pope person.

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Speaker 1: Pope people don't share good. I'm just trying to teach

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Speaker 1: y'all something that stop. All right, we gotta get out

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Speaker 1: of here and spect your ass safe fitting here from

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Speaker 1: Cable email, US, Instagram. I don't even like spokes Center.

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Speaker 1: I just want a regular package. You're listening, Steve Harday

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Speaker 1: Morning Show