WEBVTT - When Rejection Is Redirection & More (Couch Talks) 0:00:00.050 --> 0:00:02.050 While we hope couch talks can be a tool that 0:00:02.110 --> 0:00:04.850 helps and supports wherever you are in life, couch talks 0:00:04.910 --> 0:00:08.000 does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy 0:00:08.130 --> 0:00:09.500 or any mental health services. 0:00:11.490 --> 0:00:14.770 One, two, three. 0:00:15.350 --> 0:00:18.370 If you ever have feelings that you just want some, 0:00:18.489 --> 0:00:22.030 Amy and Kat got you covered like an arm, brother. 0:00:22.070 --> 0:00:25.230 Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where 0:00:25.270 --> 0:00:28.450 it tells us. From the real stuff to the chill 0:00:28.470 --> 0:00:32.950 stuff and the in-between. Sometimes the best thing you can 0:00:33.050 --> 0:00:38.659 do is just stop and feel things. This is Feeling Things. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:39.340 With Amy and Kat. 0:00:40.300 --> 0:00:42.680 Happy Thursday. Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q & A 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.010 episode to the Feeling Things podcast. I'm Amy. 0:00:45.020 --> 0:00:45.550 And I'm Kat. 0:00:45.990 --> 0:00:48.030 And we're going to kick things off with a voicemail 0:00:48.770 --> 0:00:52.350 out of the gate. We've got a voicemail, a DM, 0:00:52.370 --> 0:00:54.810 and then another voicemail. 0:00:55.830 --> 0:00:56.780 That's what you call a. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:00.140 Couch Talks sandwich. 0:01:00.500 --> 0:01:02.100 A Couch Talks voicemail sandwich. 0:01:02.300 --> 0:01:02.720 Yeah. 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:08.480 So let's just out of the gate. This is from Samantha. 0:01:08.530 --> 0:01:08.819 Here you go. 0:01:09.420 --> 0:01:12.819 Hi, me and Kat. I'm listening to your Tuesday episode. 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.319 When you guys were talking about the quote, maybe you 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:18.520 didn't get what you wanted because you deserve more. And 0:01:18.540 --> 0:01:23.010 it reminded me of when I was fresh out of 0:01:23.050 --> 0:01:26.029 college and I didn't get this job that I really wanted. 0:01:26.050 --> 0:01:28.950 And they actually ended up calling me back and then 0:01:29.750 --> 0:01:33.690 offering me a job because their offer fell through or something. 0:01:34.150 --> 0:01:38.020 But I already committed to a different job. And, you know, 0:01:38.060 --> 0:01:39.700 I really wanted that other one, but the job I 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.380 did end up taking, I got an offer. That's how 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:46.470 I met my best friend who then introduced me to 0:01:46.490 --> 0:01:49.210 my soon to be husband. We're getting married at the 0:01:49.230 --> 0:01:54.650 end of September and I'm still with that company. I'm 0:01:55.030 --> 0:01:57.470 now in senior leadership and I just got a promotion 0:01:57.500 --> 0:02:00.500 and I love my job and I love what I do. 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.260 So when I heard that quote, maybe you didn't get 0:02:03.300 --> 0:02:06.900 what you wanted because you deserve more. I immediately always 0:02:06.940 --> 0:02:08.980 go back to that first job that I wanted. I 0:02:09.580 --> 0:02:12.260 just wanted to share that little story for others out 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:16.470 there who maybe are stuck or feeling discouraged because they 0:02:16.490 --> 0:02:19.150 didn't get something that they wanted. You'll see the end 0:02:19.470 --> 0:02:22.119 or the light eventually. You just have to be patient. 0:02:22.820 --> 0:02:23.079 Thanks. 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:25.280 It's the best story. 0:02:25.300 --> 0:02:29.550 I know it's not, a question, but it was encouragement 0:02:29.650 --> 0:02:32.110 based off something we said on a previous episode. And 0:02:32.150 --> 0:02:34.450 I love that she shared her experience because I just 0:02:34.530 --> 0:02:37.940 know somebody else listening will appreciate hearing that so much. 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:43.980 And based on this week's feeling things episode from Tuesday, Samantha, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.240 we are so happy for you. She's, she's getting married 0:02:47.260 --> 0:02:49.970 because we can't say congratulations. 0:02:50.220 --> 0:02:50.630 Oh yeah. 0:02:51.090 --> 0:02:51.310 Nope. 0:02:51.430 --> 0:02:52.010 Best wishes. 0:02:52.570 --> 0:02:52.970 Best wishes. 0:02:52.990 --> 0:02:55.650 Best wishes to you. I'm the one with that story. 0:02:55.690 --> 0:02:57.070 And I was like, wait, what? 0:02:57.690 --> 0:03:00.310 Yeah, you're the one that gave us that advice. Kat 0:03:00.410 --> 0:03:04.640 said that she saw a reminder from an etiquette person 0:03:04.700 --> 0:03:08.579 like that if a woman gets engaged, it's good to 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:11.500 reframe it and say, we're so happy for you. I 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.720 am so happy for you. This is so exciting. 0:03:14.980 --> 0:03:17.570 Versus this is congratulations. What an accomplishment. 0:03:17.770 --> 0:03:17.970 Right. 0:03:17.990 --> 0:03:21.740 Kind of thing. Well, I don't think I brought this 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:25.440 up when we talked about that quote, but this whole 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:29.240 situation reminds me of that. I think it's Mary Oliver 0:03:29.260 --> 0:03:32.050 that I've shared before. Somebody once handed me a box 0:03:32.090 --> 0:03:36.450 full of darkness. Somebody once handed me a box full 0:03:36.490 --> 0:03:39.170 of darkness. I now realize this too was a gift. 0:03:39.690 --> 0:03:42.390 And that's the same kind of idea that that was 0:03:42.430 --> 0:03:44.810 a gift that you didn't get that job because now 0:03:44.830 --> 0:03:46.620 you have a job you love, a best friend, and 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:47.600 you're about to have a husband. 0:03:47.900 --> 0:03:48.200 What? 0:03:48.860 --> 0:03:49.020 What? 0:03:49.910 --> 0:03:50.550 And a promotion. 0:03:50.830 --> 0:03:53.410 And a senior leadership and you're getting a promotion. 0:03:53.730 --> 0:03:54.150 What? 0:03:54.630 --> 0:03:54.910 I know. 0:03:55.290 --> 0:03:59.180 That's just a great story. Thank you, Samantha, for calling 0:03:59.220 --> 0:04:00.620 to share that. And that's what we want. We want 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:03.260 to hear from y'all in this way. If something ever 0:04:03.420 --> 0:04:05.640 triggers something in you when you're listening and you're like, oh, 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:08.500 I should email, I should call. But then you're like, no, 0:04:09.540 --> 0:04:10.120 who cares? 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:10.839 We care. 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:11.440 I care. 0:04:11.460 --> 0:04:11.860 We care. 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:13.000 I love that story. 0:04:13.780 --> 0:04:16.310 Speaking of jobs and being at work, something just popped 0:04:16.330 --> 0:04:19.070 in my head that I saw the other day. like 0:04:19.089 --> 0:04:21.390 a quick social post where it said, if you roll 0:04:21.430 --> 0:04:27.030 into work with two bags, did you see this? Did 0:04:27.050 --> 0:04:27.650 you see this too? 0:04:28.130 --> 0:04:28.450 Okay. 0:04:28.490 --> 0:04:30.910 Well, let me finish it because people don't know unless 0:04:30.950 --> 0:04:34.370 they've seen it, but it says you're seen as chaotic. 0:04:36.180 --> 0:04:40.180 And I was like, okay, some days I have one bag. 0:04:40.980 --> 0:04:43.620 Other days I roll in with another bag because I 0:04:43.660 --> 0:04:45.740 have other things I need to take. And I will say, 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:49.240 I feel a little bit clunkier those days and so 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:52.300 maybe yeah walking through the halls who knows if other 0:04:52.339 --> 0:04:55.000 people are perceiving me that way but this social media 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:57.780 clip made it seem like oh yeah if you're the 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.300 two bag lady i assume it's because what guys are 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:01.840 rolling in the two bags but if you're a two 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:03.680 bag person you're chaotic. 0:05:03.370 --> 0:05:06.429 Yeah it's it's definitely targeted towards women i have feelings 0:05:06.490 --> 0:05:08.390 about this okay what did you see what i saw 0:05:08.589 --> 0:05:11.289 i saw so the reason i saw this is it 0:05:11.589 --> 0:05:13.910 is it the same person that. 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:19.140 I never planned on talking about this. I just thought 0:05:19.180 --> 0:05:21.520 of this. You know how things pop into your head? 0:05:21.540 --> 0:05:24.380 She was talking about work and senior leadership. I'm like, 0:05:24.420 --> 0:05:25.900 is she going to take two bags? 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.760 Well, I saw it because Kate Kennedy did a whole 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.100 episode on her podcast, I think, about this. 0:05:36.420 --> 0:05:37.580 Oh, okay. 0:05:37.700 --> 0:05:39.820 I haven't listened to it yet. I just saw her 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:40.340 post this clip. 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:41.279 About the two bags? 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.460 Yes. And so I only watched the part of the 0:05:44.500 --> 0:05:47.520 clip that was in her story. So I didn't take caveat. 0:05:47.540 --> 0:05:49.810 I have not watched the whole thing, but it did 0:05:49.870 --> 0:05:55.589 immediately irk me because this is my own feelings, but 0:05:56.190 --> 0:05:59.010 it was definitely targeted towards women. And it reminds me 0:05:59.050 --> 0:06:02.430 of like women being called bag ladies and all of that. And, 0:06:02.850 --> 0:06:06.630 and you know, sometimes we have stuff to carry. I'm 0:06:06.690 --> 0:06:08.650 thinking I take two bags into my office. I have 0:06:08.690 --> 0:06:10.760 my backpack and then I have my purse. So I 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:13.560 have to combine, I have to switch my purse into my, 0:06:13.990 --> 0:06:16.450 backpack every day so people don't think I'm chaotic versus 0:06:16.830 --> 0:06:19.810 this is just what works best for me. Like in 0:06:19.850 --> 0:06:22.250 my head, I was like, come on, there's other things 0:06:22.290 --> 0:06:24.790 we could be helping each other like figure out in life. 0:06:24.690 --> 0:06:28.359 Other than putting somebody in a box based on how 0:06:28.380 --> 0:06:30.960 many bags they have and assuming they're chaotic and they 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.700 don't have their lives together. What if two bags actually 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:35.120 means I do have my life together? 0:06:35.339 --> 0:06:37.359 What if I have a lot of stuff to carry 0:06:37.820 --> 0:06:39.600 and I don't want to carry a huge bag that's 0:06:39.620 --> 0:06:41.440 going to hurt my back? What about that? 0:06:41.860 --> 0:06:42.040 Yeah. 0:06:42.060 --> 0:06:42.479 What about that? 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:46.900 What about that? So I just feel like women have 0:06:46.940 --> 0:06:50.180 it hard enough. And maybe I feel that because I'm 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:52.580 eight and a half months pregnant, nine months pregnant. Who 0:06:52.620 --> 0:06:55.170 knows how pregnant I am right now? I'm like, we 0:06:55.190 --> 0:06:59.250 have it hard enough. Can we just let us carry stuff? 0:06:59.650 --> 0:07:00.450 Let us carry stuff. 0:07:00.870 --> 0:07:04.290 Let's carry bags with no label. All right. We got 0:07:04.330 --> 0:07:08.810 a DM in our It's our account is feeling things podcast. 0:07:08.850 --> 0:07:10.810 If you want to follow us on Instagram so you 0:07:10.830 --> 0:07:13.650 can send questions in that way. Hi, quick question. I 0:07:13.670 --> 0:07:16.090 believe at one point Amy had talked about lens therapy 0:07:16.130 --> 0:07:19.370 with neurofeedback of the brain. I recently did a session 0:07:19.410 --> 0:07:21.770 of brain mapping. I was curious if she ever did 0:07:21.810 --> 0:07:25.190 that and what her experience was. It's quite expensive and 0:07:25.210 --> 0:07:27.390 I think it takes a lot of sessions to see results. 0:07:27.430 --> 0:07:29.110 So I wanted to see if she thought it was 0:07:29.150 --> 0:07:34.430 worth it. I, don't know of brain mapping overall. Like 0:07:34.470 --> 0:07:38.950 if she's asking if that's a completely different thing than 0:07:39.010 --> 0:07:42.580 the lens, I know when I go have gone, I've 0:07:42.620 --> 0:07:45.280 gone to two different neurofeedback people in Nashville and I 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.420 like both of them equally, but they are very different. 0:07:48.820 --> 0:07:51.680 So the lens is a low energy neurofeedback that is 0:07:51.940 --> 0:07:54.940 much faster than the other person that I go to. 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:59.750 And that place is called Harmonize Brain Center. The founder 0:07:59.790 --> 0:08:01.730 of it even came on my podcast back when it 0:08:01.770 --> 0:08:03.930 was four things. I really like her. She works with 0:08:03.990 --> 0:08:06.990 a lot of people in town and it's like a 0:08:06.990 --> 0:08:10.990 15 minute process. But before we started the sessions, which 0:08:11.050 --> 0:08:12.930 there ended up, I needed 12 of them. 0:08:12.950 --> 0:08:13.390 So you're right. 0:08:13.410 --> 0:08:14.890 It is an investment and you do have to go 0:08:14.930 --> 0:08:19.570 multiple times. They do a map of my brain. So 0:08:19.610 --> 0:08:21.070 I don't know if that's what she's referring to when 0:08:21.110 --> 0:08:28.270 she says brain mapping. I I did neurofeedback. I just 0:08:28.310 --> 0:08:31.010 did two different versions of neurofeedback. I did the lens 0:08:32.510 --> 0:08:35.939 and I liked that because it was faster. And I 0:08:35.980 --> 0:08:39.459 did the regular, but I also liked that. And I 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:42.400 think they worked my, like different things were happening. I 0:08:42.460 --> 0:08:45.400 saw a benefit in both. In fact, getting the CM 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:46.860 is kind of making me want to go back just 0:08:46.900 --> 0:08:48.630 for a little touch up sesh. 0:08:48.870 --> 0:08:50.270 What do you feel like you got out of it? 0:08:50.950 --> 0:08:55.119 Oh, it would help with my looping, my anxiety. I 0:08:55.179 --> 0:08:56.940 went at a time where I had a lot going 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:59.140 on and it helped calm me. So I think right 0:08:59.179 --> 0:09:03.400 now I've just felt pretty good and just been surviving 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.270 with my ADHD, but it absolutely will help with those. 0:09:08.590 --> 0:09:11.969 Are they symptoms? Like, let me put it this way. 0:09:12.990 --> 0:09:18.179 After a treatment, I will come home and start organizing 0:09:18.380 --> 0:09:23.090 my fridge and I don't think about do it. I'm like, oh, 0:09:23.350 --> 0:09:24.610 my fridge needs to be cleaned out. 0:09:25.290 --> 0:09:25.510 Okay. 0:09:26.170 --> 0:09:28.730 And I just do it. Like, do you know, in 0:09:28.790 --> 0:09:31.930 my untreated brain, you know, when I'm cooking something in 0:09:31.950 --> 0:09:34.870 the oven or I'm preheating the oven, I have to 0:09:34.970 --> 0:09:37.490 immediately turn the oven light on or I'll forget that 0:09:37.530 --> 0:09:38.490 I was going to bake something. 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:41.500 Interesting. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:46.099 Well, cause I just, I'll start doing something else and 0:09:46.140 --> 0:09:48.120 I'll go to another room and then I'll be like, 0:09:48.179 --> 0:09:49.580 oh yeah, the oven lights on. I need to put 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.560 the Food in the oven. 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:53.040 You know what I struggle with? 0:09:53.059 --> 0:09:54.040 What? 0:09:55.300 --> 0:10:01.110 Remembering if I turn the oven off or not. 0:10:08.110 --> 0:10:09.330 You know what I struggle with? 0:10:09.350 --> 0:10:11.630 What? 0:10:11.650 --> 0:10:15.360 Remembering if I turn the oven off or not. Almost 0:10:15.660 --> 0:10:16.480 every night we. 0:10:16.460 --> 0:10:19.480 Use the oven, when we go to bed, we get 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:22.130 in bed, We're in, me and my husband. We're all 0:10:22.150 --> 0:10:25.070 cozy and warm. And then I turn over and I say, 0:10:26.130 --> 0:10:29.120 did we turn the oven off? And I'm obviously not 0:10:29.150 --> 0:10:32.460 walking downstairs to check. So Patrick has to get up 0:10:32.580 --> 0:10:34.620 and go check. And it is probably his pet peeve 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:37.880 of mine. But I can never remember. And then I 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.800 also can't go to sleep if I think the oven 0:10:40.820 --> 0:10:43.240 might be on. Or the stove. That would be even 0:10:43.260 --> 0:10:47.820 worse because we have the one with the flame. So, yeah, 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:49.010 I can relate to that in. 0:10:48.970 --> 0:10:49.260 A little bit. 0:10:49.809 --> 0:10:53.050 My oven's pretty loud. So I, that always, wow. Again, 0:10:53.110 --> 0:10:55.170 it's like, that's my, like the light helps me, the 0:10:55.230 --> 0:10:57.150 noise helps me. So I remember, I don't think I 0:10:57.170 --> 0:10:59.050 would ever leave my oven on because I hear the, 0:11:00.740 --> 0:11:05.260 there's something loud about it. Lucky. Yeah, it's a gift. 0:11:05.620 --> 0:11:06.060 It's a gift. 0:11:06.220 --> 0:11:07.680 I mean, and it's a newer oven. I don't know 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:08.580 why it's loud. 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:10.740 Maybe that's a feature. Like we put some noise on 0:11:10.780 --> 0:11:11.829 it so you'll never leave it on. 0:11:12.540 --> 0:11:16.050 Maybe to be helpful. Now the other type of neurofeedback 0:11:16.090 --> 0:11:18.170 that would take more like hour to an hour and 0:11:18.190 --> 0:11:22.110 a half I would be watching a Netflix show or something. 0:11:22.290 --> 0:11:24.250 She would put on Netflix, and she had this software. 0:11:24.290 --> 0:11:25.550 She would run through it, but I would have to 0:11:25.610 --> 0:11:27.480 sit there, and I'd have to watch a whole episode 0:11:27.500 --> 0:11:29.380 of West Wing or something. 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:30.160 Did you pick the show? 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.160 Yeah, I could pick whatever I want. The lens, you 0:11:33.179 --> 0:11:35.459 don't watch anything because you're just sitting there for 10, 0:11:35.460 --> 0:11:38.790 15 minutes, and the neuron little things are. 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:39.700 Do you talk or do you just sit there? 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:41.000 I can talk to her, yeah. She'll be like, so 0:11:41.020 --> 0:11:41.900 how was your day? I'll be like, oh, it was 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:44.300 pretty good. I did this, I did that. But then 0:11:44.330 --> 0:11:46.469 the other one, no, I'm watching. I have to watch 0:11:46.510 --> 0:11:49.550 the screen. You have headphones on. So there's the noise 0:11:49.670 --> 0:11:51.360 and the noise is going in and out. It's getting 0:11:51.410 --> 0:11:54.580 louder and softer and louder and softer. And the screen 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:58.000 is getting bigger and smaller and bigger. And so it's 0:11:58.020 --> 0:12:02.640 sort of like you're on this little trip. But your brain, 0:12:02.660 --> 0:12:08.059 it's exercising or working out your brain and doing things 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:09.600 to it to where you just. 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:12.540 So you would say it's worth it? 0:12:12.860 --> 0:12:13.970 For me, it was worth it. 0:12:14.179 --> 0:12:14.400 Like I. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:17.420 Like if I went right now, cause I don't have 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:19.839 a lot of, I don't have the looping or I'm 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:23.220 not feeling extra anxious about things. And my brain feels 0:12:23.260 --> 0:12:25.520 relatively calm. I feel awake. Like a lot of my 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:29.140 brain was asleep during those times because I was shutting down. 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:32.010 But then I, some, then other parts of my brain 0:12:32.030 --> 0:12:34.449 were in overdrive because I was freaking out. Like I 0:12:34.510 --> 0:12:35.829 used to not be able to sleep cause my brain 0:12:35.850 --> 0:12:37.830 was looping so much about some stuff and it would 0:12:37.850 --> 0:12:40.290 just loop over and over and over and over and over. 0:12:42.490 --> 0:12:45.270 the looping stopped when I was doing neurofeedback and I 0:12:45.309 --> 0:12:48.179 was doing talk therapy at the same time. And if 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:50.020 you're able to do it, I get that this gets 0:12:50.059 --> 0:12:54.320 expensive and it adds up, but the, the, the neurofeedback, 0:12:55.420 --> 0:12:59.430 it was a good compliment to my talk therapy. So, 0:13:00.210 --> 0:13:01.890 and it was just for a season. I don't think 0:13:01.910 --> 0:13:04.010 you have to do it forever. Then you can kind 0:13:04.050 --> 0:13:06.090 of get on a maintenance plan if you want, or 0:13:06.710 --> 0:13:08.490 in my case now, I know that I could pop 0:13:08.530 --> 0:13:11.840 in for a session and I'd have a, you know, 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.439 a good fridge clean out the next day with no drama. 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:17.820 Or maybe I wouldn't need to turn on the oven 0:13:17.860 --> 0:13:21.380 light to remember, Oh yeah, I'm going to bake something. 0:13:22.220 --> 0:13:26.830 So there's that. I hope that helps. And, but brain mapping, 0:13:26.950 --> 0:13:29.170 have you ever, I mean, that's just, they mapped my 0:13:29.190 --> 0:13:30.830 brain to see where I was. That's how they knew 0:13:30.850 --> 0:13:34.570 parts of my brain were in Delta, which when you 0:13:34.710 --> 0:13:37.469 are in high stress situations or survival modes, parts of 0:13:37.490 --> 0:13:40.140 your brain will go to sleep because it's like, Well. 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:44.100 I will say I know nothing about neurofeedback. So, you know, 0:13:44.260 --> 0:13:45.880 because you've been more than I know. 0:13:45.900 --> 0:13:46.220 Yeah. 0:13:46.300 --> 0:13:46.790 And I am. 0:13:46.980 --> 0:13:47.740 Yeah. 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:50.819 But I'm no expert at all. I'm just like I'm 0:13:50.860 --> 0:13:51.349 a patient. 0:13:52.140 --> 0:13:52.370 Yes. 0:13:53.370 --> 0:13:55.410 And I had good. 0:13:56.450 --> 0:13:56.990 I had good. 0:13:57.230 --> 0:13:59.390 I have good feedback about neurofeedback. 0:13:59.410 --> 0:13:59.890 Yeah. 0:14:00.110 --> 0:14:03.449 But our brains, everybody's so different. Like someone may go 0:14:03.630 --> 0:14:06.429 and not really get anything out of it. 0:14:06.830 --> 0:14:09.330 I mean, that's like anything. Like some people do EMDR 0:14:09.350 --> 0:14:10.950 and don't really get anything out of it. And some 0:14:10.970 --> 0:14:12.330 people do it and it changes their life. 0:14:12.530 --> 0:14:13.449 Yes. 0:14:13.670 --> 0:14:15.630 You know, I did EMDR after my mom died and 0:14:15.710 --> 0:14:16.410 I did not like it. 0:14:16.490 --> 0:14:18.990 I remember you telling me that. Have you ever done 0:14:19.030 --> 0:14:19.390 it since? 0:14:19.930 --> 0:14:20.090 No. 0:14:20.890 --> 0:14:22.630 And I wonder if it was the administrator. I didn't 0:14:22.650 --> 0:14:24.110 really like her as much. 0:14:24.130 --> 0:14:25.010 The administrator? 0:14:25.610 --> 0:14:29.170 Your therapist? Well, I didn't really know. I went to 0:14:29.210 --> 0:14:31.270 someone that did EMDR. It wasn't like a therapist I 0:14:31.310 --> 0:14:34.340 had been working with previously. I went because they offer that. 0:14:35.130 --> 0:14:35.370 Okay. 0:14:35.430 --> 0:14:37.370 But it was a therapist you went to. 0:14:37.450 --> 0:14:37.770 Yes. 0:14:37.910 --> 0:14:38.610 I don't know why I. 0:14:38.590 --> 0:14:40.489 Was calling it administrator. 0:14:40.510 --> 0:14:44.140 The person that did the treatment on me. What did 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.020 I do with Linda in Virginia? 0:14:46.300 --> 0:14:47.080 You did brain spotting. 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:47.740 That's it. 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:50.100 That's what you liked. Yeah. 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.720 But that brain spotting was different. 0:14:52.830 --> 0:14:55.350 Well, this is what I think about because I had 0:14:55.370 --> 0:14:56.270 an experience where. 0:14:56.370 --> 0:14:57.230 I did. 0:14:58.620 --> 0:15:01.350 EMDR with a therapist that I actually really liked, but 0:15:01.620 --> 0:15:04.590 I didn't really like EMDR and didn't really get anything 0:15:04.750 --> 0:15:07.930 out of it. EMDR is more, it has more of 0:15:08.110 --> 0:15:12.790 a definitive protocol and there's less like, it's more rigid 0:15:13.030 --> 0:15:16.320 than brain spotting and somebody with a brain like ours 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:21.020 and somebody with a brain like ours is going to probably, 0:15:21.860 --> 0:15:24.780 probably this is my own opinion, be more receptive to 0:15:24.820 --> 0:15:27.740 brain spotting because it's more fluid and there's more flexibility 0:15:27.780 --> 0:15:33.130 in it. and it's very much client-led versus EMDR is 0:15:33.170 --> 0:15:36.500 there's so much structure. So that doesn't surprise me about you. 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:41.040 I had a very similar experience. And with brain spotting, 0:15:41.580 --> 0:15:44.600 there are so many. I've only gone to two brain 0:15:44.620 --> 0:15:48.700 spotting trainings, but there are so many different ways to 0:15:48.900 --> 0:15:49.300 use it. 0:15:49.850 --> 0:15:53.770 Yeah, like I'll share what I did. I drew my 0:15:53.830 --> 0:15:57.850 parents on butcher paper, like think big. butcher paper from 0:15:57.870 --> 0:16:00.310 like the art room when you were a kid and 0:16:00.330 --> 0:16:03.050 I didn't have to draw them well or anything they 0:16:03.070 --> 0:16:05.600 were like stick figures you just needed to have a 0:16:05.620 --> 0:16:08.100 body like I had the yeah and curly hair on 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.020 my mom and a little belt on my dad and 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.380 and and we put them on the wall and then 0:16:13.420 --> 0:16:16.160 I just started writing things on the butcher and then 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.640 we would look at them right and I mean she 0:16:19.660 --> 0:16:21.140 had a whole process but I had to and then 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.960 I had to talk to the butcher paper on the 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:26.030 wall yeah And then I don't know if this is 0:16:26.070 --> 0:16:28.750 part of the brain spotting process, but remember how she 0:16:28.790 --> 0:16:31.100 had a beanie baby that I picked out? I still 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.540 have it in my room. And I picked out a 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:35.920 little beanie baby that I would talk to on that 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:36.540 trip too. 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.900 Was it like an inner child? What does it represent? 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:43.620 I don't remember. Okay. 0:16:44.220 --> 0:16:45.760 It might not have been part of the brain spotting. 0:16:45.780 --> 0:16:47.300 It was just part of your work. 0:16:47.990 --> 0:16:50.670 That was a very intense three days because I was 0:16:50.690 --> 0:16:53.250 working nine hours a day for three days straight in 0:16:53.290 --> 0:16:53.850 a hotel room. 0:16:54.450 --> 0:16:55.550 Would you eat meals with her? 0:16:55.770 --> 0:16:55.910 Yep. 0:16:56.980 --> 0:16:57.290 Okay. 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:01.660 How did you trans like, what's the word transition from 0:17:01.700 --> 0:17:04.699 like doing this intense trauma work to like, do you 0:17:04.740 --> 0:17:06.820 want to get Chinese or Mexican? 0:17:06.859 --> 0:17:07.119 Yeah. 0:17:07.300 --> 0:17:09.120 Well, I remember one day she was like, well, mellow 0:17:09.140 --> 0:17:11.180 mushrooms right down the street. I'm like, that sounds great. 0:17:11.660 --> 0:17:13.520 And then what would you talk about during lunch? 0:17:13.540 --> 0:17:17.260 I mean, sometimes we didn't even really have to talk 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.680 when that, that was cool. And I learned a little 0:17:19.700 --> 0:17:22.630 bit about what she did, who she like, she lived 0:17:22.730 --> 0:17:26.010 on a bunch of land. Her husband was a doctor. 0:17:26.030 --> 0:17:26.109 Yeah. 0:17:26.390 --> 0:17:30.130 Uh, they had chickens and eggs. Oh, we just talk 0:17:30.170 --> 0:17:32.600 about life a little bit. We didn't do, we wouldn't 0:17:32.700 --> 0:17:33.960 continue any therapy talk. 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:34.400 Yeah. 0:17:34.740 --> 0:17:38.040 Well, that makes me think about the voicemail question that 0:17:38.060 --> 0:17:41.760 we got because it's about there. It's kind of about, about, 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:45.200 about therapist boundaries. And that's a unique situation where you're 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:48.640 kind of sitting, seeing your therapist in two settings where they're, 0:17:49.290 --> 0:17:51.970