1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,280 Speaker 1: This is Cowboys Sam, and this is Eh John. And 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,720 Speaker 1: we've last showed. 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,639 Speaker 2: In some amazing stories for y'all the Okay Storytime podcasts. 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little 5 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: two minute outbreak from those bucking sponsors. We bucking love so. 6 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 3: Much they paid us the bucks to help this show 7 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 3: stay alive. I'm going no contact with my mother in law. 8 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: Why not? We don't like monster in laws. 9 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 3: Sugar warning frementions of miscarriage. I twenty seven female, am 10 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 3: engaged to my fiance, twenty nine male. We had been 11 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 3: close friends for three years before becoming a couple, and 12 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 3: once we got together we were absolutely inseparable. 13 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: Huhuh. 14 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 3: After about two months of dating, we fell in love 15 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 3: and decided to start a family. 16 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: Oh wow, quick, I'm sorry, get after it. 17 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 3: After two months of dating? 18 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: Why wait? 19 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 3: I know it was quick and may seem impulsive to outsiders, Yes, 20 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 3: but it genuinely felt like one of those when you know, 21 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 3: you know moments that people talk about. No, I hey, 22 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 3: they know you know, nonsen you decide to have a 23 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 3: kid together. That's crazy. 24 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: Maybe you just haven't met that. 25 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 3: No, that's crazy, you have to That's not enough time 26 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 3: to talk about if you want to send your child 27 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 3: to public or private school, if you want to raise 28 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 3: them in this place that you're living in or somewhere else. 29 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: If Angie and I had the resources, we definitely would 30 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: have to give a boy. 31 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 3: Now that's not true. 32 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: You don't know me. 33 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know her. 34 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,479 Speaker 1: I just don't have the resources right now. 35 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 3: I know Angie. By the way, this comes from character 36 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 3: Fly eighteen ninety one on the r slash two lot 37 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 3: Takes subreddit, and if you want to submit your own stories, 38 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm. 39 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,479 Speaker 4: Riley, and I'm Keon, and he's calling Angie. 40 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 3: I had only met his mom a couple of times 41 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 3: before getting pregnant, and we never really connected. She didn't 42 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 3: make much effort to get to know me, which I 43 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 3: initially attributed to her being naturally reserved. His sister, on 44 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 3: the other hand, seemed genuinely nice at first, but over 45 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 3: time things became increasingly complicated in ways I never saw coming. 46 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 3: I also want to say we read a story in 47 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 3: another episode folks who Weren't here, about a guy who 48 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,639 Speaker 3: thought it was weird that his girlfriend was getting super 49 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 3: close to these like coworkers after two months of note, 50 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 3: like the coworker and his family after months of knowing him, this, 51 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,799 Speaker 3: this is what you should have been upset about. Yeah, 52 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 3: this would be if you got upset about this thing 53 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,119 Speaker 3: of them knowing each other for two months, I'd be like, yeah, 54 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 3: I respect that. When our first baby was born, I 55 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 3: didn't have any boundaries in place. I was just excited 56 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 3: and wanted everyone to be part of our child's life. 57 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 3: His mom visited us shortly after the birth, but the 58 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 3: visit was incredibly awkward. My mom, who was living with 59 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 3: us at the time, had to go back to work, 60 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 3: leaving me alone trying to make conversation with a woman 61 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 3: who barely engaged with me and showed interest in her 62 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 3: new grandchild because she doesn't know you. Yeah, she doesn't 63 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 3: know you. I'm sorry. If I had a child and 64 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 3: that child got pregnant two months after knowing someone and 65 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 3: they were like it was on purpose, I'd be like, oh, okay. 66 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: That would be weird. 67 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 3: The first real red flag came when his sister asked 68 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 3: when we'd be coming down to their hometown two hours 69 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 3: away so she could meet the baby. 70 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: Oh wow, how old are they? So when are you 71 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: coming up here? So when are you gonna come up 72 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: here to see the baby? 73 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,799 Speaker 3: I was genuinely annoyed by the request. When she had 74 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 3: her baby, we went out of our way to visit her, 75 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 3: and I couldn't imagine asking a brand new mother to 76 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 3: travel with a newborn. Later, I discovered that she and 77 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 3: their mom had already been in our area multiple times 78 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 3: but simply chose not to stop by. That really stung. 79 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 3: As time went on, they came to our city several 80 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 3: more times without visiting. Yet when we didn't stop by 81 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 3: once while we were in their town, it sparked a 82 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 3: massive fight. His sister brought up an entire list of 83 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 3: grievances from the past year, mostly centered around our gender 84 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 3: reveal and baby shower. She accused my family of judging them, 85 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 3: which was particularly hurtful since my family had been the 86 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 3: ones hosting these events and were so busy they didn't 87 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 3: even have time to sit down and eat. 88 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: Hmmm. 89 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 3: His mom called me, claiming she wanted to clear the air, 90 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: but instead ended up talking over me for the entire conversation. 91 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,799 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I can't, I can't and see okay, 92 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: I can't like. 93 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 3: This is why you date longer than two months before 94 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 3: you have kids because you don't know her family at all. 95 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: Well, it's also not the fam it's a family. 96 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 3: This issue not him, I agree, but but he could 97 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,559 Speaker 3: have known that they were a problem before the whole 98 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 3: having kids thing. 99 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: No, I'm I'm happy they're in love. People have met 100 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: sooner than that and been in love. I'm not That's 101 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: not the issue to me. 102 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 3: I think that's the issue, being in love and having 103 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 3: a child two months into a religonship. 104 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: You know what, I don't Okay, I think they're the same. 105 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 3: That's crazy. 106 00:04:55,279 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: Uh, the perspective, and it kind of feels like a 107 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: little bit of a victim mindset or like everyone is 108 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: wrong but us with the sister and the mom, which 109 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: is very concerning because you're gonna have to have a 110 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: relationship with these people now you're gonna have to share 111 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 1: Christmas and Thanksgivings. Some solution asks to come afoot quickly 112 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: or low contact is in order. 113 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, awesome. Ashley says they should have really met each 114 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 3: other's extended families before they went further. That's that's that's 115 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,280 Speaker 3: my thought process. And also, uh, Kim Roberts does bring 116 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 3: up a good point. They didn't know each other for 117 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 3: a few years before dating, But that's like, I think 118 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 3: there's definitely a big difference between knowing each other as 119 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 3: friends and day Like, there's a lot of things that 120 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 3: you find out, Like I don't know how close to 121 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 3: friends they were. 122 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: If I don't know, I think if you were friends 123 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 1: with someone for a while and then you start dating 124 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: and then you get married, that's that's kind of cool. 125 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 3: They didn't say any of that. 126 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: We don't know how they feel inside. I don't know 127 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: what they're insides, you're feeling towards each other personally. 128 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 3: I'm totally fine with them saying that they love each other, 129 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 3: saying that got married two month. Sure. My only qualm 130 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 3: is that they just decided to have a baby two 131 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: months after dating. That's crazy. 132 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 1: But have you've known someone for five years? I don't 133 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: care five years. 134 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 3: Unless you have It happens accidentally. It happens. Things happens 135 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 3: accidentally all the time. How to figure it out? Disagree 136 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 3: to you think that's crazy to me to purposely have 137 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 3: a baby two months after starting dating. 138 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know you're age, Like, yes, sure you know 139 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,600 Speaker 4: each other, but do you really know each other? 140 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 3: Don't. 141 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: I think they've been We'll say they've been friends for 142 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: three years, they've kind of had a crush on each other. 143 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: Then they date for two months and they're like, no, 144 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: it was just do it was full the trigger on 145 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 1: twenty six. You're twenty nine. Let's make it happendy. 146 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 3: That's crazy. That's insane. Thank you, Kean, because I thought 147 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 3: I was going to carry with No, that's insane, insane. 148 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 4: You can you can be bff so somebody, but once 149 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 4: you start dating somebody, you learn so much more about 150 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 4: totally different. 151 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: That's the consequence. I'm not saying that it's perfect at all. 152 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: I'm saying that's the consequence to it. You have the 153 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: decision to do that. Do you think it's smart? H 154 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: of course it's a little reckless, But that's like that's them, 155 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: Like they can do that and they can speak life out. 156 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: Just don't. My only thing is if this doesn't work 157 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: out long term, this was stupid. But if this works 158 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 1: out long term, this is amazing. Yeah, and I love 159 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: that for them. I don't think it just has to 160 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: long term. 161 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 3: I hope it works out long term. I'm not wishing 162 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 3: the worst on them. I'm just saying it's very irresponsible. 163 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 3: She told me I needed new friends, and offered only 164 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 3: a half hearted acknowledgment that the judging might have been 165 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 3: a misunderstanding. His sister then had the audacity to tell 166 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 3: me I needed to make my family change their behavior. 167 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 3: After that conversation, I didn't speak to her for several months. 168 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,679 Speaker 3: Eventually she apologized, but it felt completely forced. My fiance 169 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 3: letter admitted he had begged her to do it. From 170 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 3: that point forward, our relationship became increasingly distant and strained. 171 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 3: We experienced a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, and four 172 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 3: months later I was pregnant again. 173 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: Oh that's so sad. 174 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 3: We told my family first, then his sister, and finally 175 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 3: his mom. When I posted the ultrasound in a group chat, 176 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 3: thinking everyone had been informed, we discovered his brother hadn't 177 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 3: been told yet, which turned into another massive fight. His 178 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 3: sister complained that it was unfair we had told my 179 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 3: family first, as if there should have been some kind 180 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 3: of formal protocol for sharing our own pregnancy news. Later, 181 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 3: I posted something general on social media about how if 182 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 3: people don't check in on my child, I won't be 183 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 3: putting effort into those relationships either. She immediately claimed it 184 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 3: was directed specifically at her. It absolutely wasn't, and launched 185 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 3: into yet another fight, bringing their mom into it as well. 186 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 3: They brought up more manufactured issues from the past year, 187 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 3: including the absurd claim that I never thanked their mom 188 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 3: for gifts she'd sent. I had texts, phone calls, and 189 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 3: video chats to prove otherwise, but facts didn't seem to 190 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,599 Speaker 3: matter to them. One example they cited was a Valentine's 191 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 3: gift I had allegedly ignored. I had actually forgotten to 192 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 3: acknowledge it for a few days because I was deep 193 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 3: in a first trimester morning sickness and could barely function. 194 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,959 Speaker 3: I decided to call his mom directly to address these accusations. 195 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 3: She ended up literally screaming at me over the phone. 196 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 3: I started crying, which finally made her stop yelling. She 197 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 3: accused me of being the reason her son doesn't call 198 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 3: her anymore, or deliberately tearing their family apart, and several 199 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 3: other completely unfounded clean It was absolutely awful. 200 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: Why does this family resort to pure chaos? 201 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 3: Yeah? 202 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: What is going on? 203 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 3: Like? 204 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 1: Why are we not having meaningful understanding and giving each 205 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: other this simple thing called grace? 206 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 3: None of these people are reasonable, just. 207 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: A little bit of leeway if you don't agree with someone, 208 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: Why are we going scorched earth? 209 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 2: What? 210 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 3: When our second baby was born, I had learned my 211 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 3: lesson and set much clearer boundaries. I decided on no 212 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,199 Speaker 3: hospital visits except for my mom and sister, who were 213 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 3: genuinely my support system. His mom kept calling repeatedly asking 214 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,719 Speaker 3: if she could come anyway, completely ignoring what we'd already communicated. 215 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 3: My fiance suggested she just call and offer to bring flowers, 216 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 3: upset me because it put me in an awkward position 217 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 3: of having to say no again. She ultimately didn't come, 218 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 3: but was very obviously upset about the boundary. Three days 219 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 3: after our baby was born, my dad passed unexpectedly. 220 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's so tough. Sorry, Ob, that's really tough. 221 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. While I was grieving and dealing with 222 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 3: postpartum recovery, we had to travel for the funeral. That's 223 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 3: just so much to deal with. His mom and sister 224 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 3: said they wanted to attend, but I suspected it was 225 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 3: primarily to see the new baby rather than support us 226 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 3: during our loss. 227 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: Oh, so many people are weird. 228 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, just like so many ulterior motives. After 229 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,800 Speaker 3: the funeral, his mom asked if we could stop by 230 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 3: their house, but we declined we were emotionally and physically 231 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 3: completely drained. They were visibly angry about this decision. A 232 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 3: few weeks later, she visited our home. My mom was 233 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 3: there initially, but when she left to go next door, 234 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 3: his mom abruptly announced she had to leave too. She 235 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 3: didn't say goodbye to the kids and literally slammed our 236 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 3: front door on our way out. My fiance followed her outside, 237 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 3: where she exploded about being upset that she gotn't kiss 238 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 3: that children. We had established a no kissing rule during 239 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 3: illness season, yeah, because we don't want our kids to 240 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 3: get sick. 241 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: Dude, an older lady at the church we were going 242 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 1: to when I was younger kissed my sawyer on the 243 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: head and he got like he got like sick and 244 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,439 Speaker 1: he had to have like a breathing thing for his lungs. 245 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: I forget what it's called, like a respiratory lung thing. 246 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 3: Careful. 247 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was like, uh. 248 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 3: No, you have to like you like it's it sucks 249 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 3: because everyone wants to kiss the baby, but you gotta 250 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 3: be like, uh sorry, you can't kiss the baby because 251 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 3: you got illnesses. 252 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: You know what, I will kiss a baby if if 253 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: I'm shaking hands and there's a baby that just is like, 254 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: why I know, I'll go la. You get a little kiss, 255 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: You get a little kiss. Baby. 256 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 3: She claimed my mom had kissed the baby and nobody cared. 257 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 3: Oh my mom denyed this and had actually respected our rule. 258 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 3: Apparently only his mom had witnessed this alleged kiss. Came 259 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 3: another complete meltdown involving his sister, who twisted our words 260 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 3: and made outrageous claims about things that never happened. 261 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 262 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 3: I sent a length the apology text a week later, 263 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 3: desperately hoping to smooth things over, but received even more 264 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 3: blame and outright lies in return. I was completely baffled 265 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 3: by accusations of things I had supposedly sent or done 266 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 3: that simply never occurred. Eventually, we made the difficult decision 267 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 3: to cut contact entirely. She then posted a passive, aggressive 268 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 3: rant about me in a local mom group on Facebook. 269 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 3: Everyone in our community knew it was about me. Leave 270 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 3: them alone. This lady is so annoying. 271 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: Also, husband, father of my child, fight. 272 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 3: For me, defend me, defend me now. 273 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 1: And we're going low contact. It seems like they're already 274 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: doing it. We need to establish more boundaries there and 275 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: information ny it, I all gotta lose some weight. 276 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 3: Yep. The post was either complete fabrications or severely twisted 277 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 3: versions of events designed to make me look terrible. I 278 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: responded with actual facts on my own social media page, 279 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 3: but there were simply too many lies to address individually. 280 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 3: Honestly block them. You don't need to address lies like this. 281 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 3: Doesn't help anyone to keep trying to talk to crazy 282 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,319 Speaker 3: people or reason with them. Just make sure the relevant 283 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 3: people in your life are informed that that's all false 284 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 3: and block her. His mom then called from his brother's 285 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 3: phone and screamed at me, calling me a C word, 286 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 3: along with numerous other derogatory names. My fiance hung up 287 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 3: on her. She called back immediately, and he ended up 288 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 3: blowing up at her as well. We went completely no 289 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,439 Speaker 3: contact after that incident. A year later, his sister ran 290 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,679 Speaker 3: into my fiance and started crying, saying she desperately wants 291 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 3: to apologize and make things right. I don't trust her that. 292 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 3: I don't trust this. 293 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 1: There is a place where someone admits something was wrong. 294 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,559 Speaker 3: Yes, and they actually want to make amends. 295 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: And I think they slowly make amends through you know, 296 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: careful setups and meetups, and it's just it's a slow process. 297 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: This very instantaneous. I feel like you're gonna apologize quickly 298 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: and be sad, but don't expect anything from your apology. No, 299 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: that's what I'm getting at. 300 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 3: I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt 301 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 3: because their emotions seemed genuine and sincere. Oh god, However, 302 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 3: recently she's reverted to her old passive aggressive behavior, excluding 303 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 3: me from group photos. I was a part of losing 304 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 3: our very high snapchat streak out of nowhere. 305 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: This tells me everything I didn't know about EUOPI. 306 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 3: OP, that you had to be on your side, and 307 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 3: then you mentioned your snapchat streak and you lost me, Like. 308 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: How's our peace streak going? How's our You're mad she 309 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 1: lost your streak? I feel like there's other streaks in 310 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: life we need to prioritize than the snapchat. 311 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,080 Speaker 3: Your snapchat streak. 312 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 1: How's your I'm gonna go low contact with everyone's streak going. 313 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 3: Just made me like, totally, she's. 314 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 1: Out of it, dude. I've never seen her ever react 315 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 1: with story this way. She's viciously and visibly mad right now. 316 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 3: That made me like, actually mad you were, Opie. 317 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: Have you no longer have the grace or mercy of 318 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: the worm queen? Oh yeah, it's gone so well. 319 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 3: You brought me back after the two months and then 320 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 3: I got a baby. Your streak is over and making 321 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 3: subtle digs. I realized these might seem like small things, 322 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 3: but this is exactly how the pattern started the previous times, 323 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 3: and I refuse to go through this exhausting cycle again. 324 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,880 Speaker 3: She's now claiming I'm being fake because I keep their 325 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 3: mom at arm's length despite everything that's happened. She texted 326 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 3: me upset that our three year old had napped during 327 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 3: her child's birthday party and didn't get a play long enough. Well, 328 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 3: that's silly, it's a three year old. I had woken 329 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 3: them up thinking we had at least an hour and 330 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 3: a half left for him to participate, only to discover 331 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 3: we actually had just forty five minutes remaining due to 332 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 3: the pool needing to be closed early that day. She 333 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 3: also confronted me about hearing that I said I don't 334 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 3: like their mom and never intended to have a relationship 335 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 3: with her. This was absolutely true. I did say this, 336 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 3: and I stand by it. We've seen her exactly three 337 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 3: times in seven months. Despite her claims of putting an effort, 338 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 3: there are little to no phone calls, texts, or any 339 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 3: communication asking about the children. Her idea of effort includes 340 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 3: asking us to attend a barbecue with less than forty 341 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 3: eight hours notice when we don't live nearby. 342 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: I lived two hours away, mind you. 343 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 3: Not calling on our son's birthday but claiming she showed 344 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 3: up to the party, and leaving events without even saying 345 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 3: goodbye to her son or grandchildren. These behaviors don't even 346 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 3: feel like the bare minimum at this point, and there 347 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 3: is an update, I think just like keep this like 348 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 3: low contact. 349 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: Low contact contact. Second question, how is your relationship with 350 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 1: your husband going on? Yeah, how's the co parenting going? 351 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 3: It feels like he's not defending any of this. How 352 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 3: is the co parenting going? Because maybe if you spend 353 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 3: a little bit more time. 354 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: I'm helping Sophia out on this, I think they're gonna 355 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 1: be fine and be happily forever. 356 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,919 Speaker 3: Ever, I sure hope so, but I am noticing a 357 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 3: lot of him defending his family and not defending his partner. 358 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,360 Speaker 1: By the way, is your immediate family because you've got 359 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,639 Speaker 1: a child with her, So you guys are now a 360 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: little family. Keep that in mind. 361 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,399 Speaker 3: But there is an update, folks. His mom and sister 362 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 3: have become experts at making me feel completely insane, which 363 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 3: is exactly why we kept going back to them despite 364 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 3: the toxic pattern. I now realize they're incredibly skilled at 365 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 3: manipulation and guilt tripping. They use phrases like we're your 366 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 3: family no matter what, and you don't just cut off blood. 367 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 3: His sister even tells our children that we just don't 368 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 3: want to go see them, making us the villains in 369 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 3: their eyes. They constantly manipulate my fiance with statements. 370 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,359 Speaker 2: Like I'm your mom, I raised you and sacrifice so 371 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 2: much I can't believe if you treat me this way, 372 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 2: or I'm your sister and you've been my closest brother 373 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 2: all my life. 374 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 3: It hurts that you won't talk to me now because 375 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 3: of her. His sister has called me a self absorbed person, 376 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 3: accused me of brainwashing him, and expressed hope that I 377 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 3: won't brainwash her nephews too. I actually started believing these accusations, 378 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 3: which led me to therapy where I was telling my 379 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 3: therapist that I needed to be fixed because I was 380 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 3: all these terrible things that they claimed. 381 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: Oh wow. 382 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 3: It took months of therapy and reading through all of 383 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,719 Speaker 3: our messages before my therapist to help me understand that 384 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 3: their behavior was their problem, not mine. 385 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: Good job, op on seeing that and helping yourself out. 386 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,120 Speaker 1: That is huge, huge, usuge. 387 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 3: After she texted me multiple times demanding responses and getting 388 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 3: increasingly angry, my fiance finally called her. She listed three 389 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 3: examples of their mom's effort over seven months, showing up 390 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 3: to a birthday party, inviting us to a barbecue, and 391 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 3: setting flowers on my birthday. When he pointed out that 392 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 3: wasn't real effort, she got defensive. 393 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: I like the way he did that, But there is 394 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,359 Speaker 1: a little bit left to this story. 395 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 3: Dude, do you have any final thoughts? 396 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: I feel like the husband could have said, thank you. 397 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,959 Speaker 1: Those were efforts, but over the course of seven months, 398 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: our expectation of efforts was xyz yeah, and you haven't 399 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: met that, and it doesn't feel like you are interested 400 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: in that, And it feels like it's transactional, because effort 401 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,400 Speaker 1: in a relationship should not feel transactional whatsoever. 402 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 3: It should be like I'm doing this to get something. 403 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it should be like, oh, I love you, I'm 404 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,400 Speaker 1: doing this because of this, that and the other, and 405 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 1: just you know, it's it's cool, it's great, and this 406 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,360 Speaker 1: doesn't have the heart of that at all. 407 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 3: Agreed. I really think that you need to limit contact 408 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 3: with these people and also talk to your partner. Oh yeah, 409 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 3: figure out why we are still having contact with them 410 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 3: so much when they're treating you guys like this. Yeah, 411 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,240 Speaker 3: this is crazy, but there is a little bit left. 412 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 3: During our final conversation, I told there directly that seven 413 00:19:55,200 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 3: months of performative behavior doesn't erase years of disrespect. When 414 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,360 Speaker 3: I would stop bringing up the past, I replied, when 415 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 3: it stops repeating itself. Otherwise it's not actually in the past. 416 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 3: She accused me of being fake for not engaging with 417 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 3: their mom beyond basic greetings. When I asked how that 418 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 3: was fake, she said, exactly, my mom says, you want 419 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 3: to have real conversations with her. The irony wasn't lost 420 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 3: on me. Moving forward, I completely am removing myself from 421 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 3: this toxic dynamic and letting my fiance decide what he 422 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 3: wants to do with his time regarding his family. I'm 423 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 3: secure in our relationship, and no, he won't allow them 424 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 3: to disrespect me. I'm choosing my peace over theirs, and 425 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 3: I'm removed his sister from all social media platforms. The 426 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 3: emotional toll has been too high, and I refuse to 427 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 3: repeat this cycle. Sometimes the healthiest choice is walking away, 428 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 3: even from family. Yeah, and that is the end of 429 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,399 Speaker 3: that story, folks. 430 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Mara had a really good comment. Why 431 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,680 Speaker 1: is it will be giving them so much power? 432 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 3: I don't know, I really don't know. 433 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, And Kimberly Fan says, and honestly, it's wild that 434 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: the family got seven months but the husband only needed 435 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: two to start a whole, fresh and crispy family. 436 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 3: Mm hmm, that's the end of that story. 437 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 5: I want to warn my sister in law's possible boyfriend 438 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 5: about her intentions. 439 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 1: Tentions about what. 440 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 5: Intentions to decee My thirty four male sister in law 441 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 5: twenty six female is a bit of an introvert who 442 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 5: hasn't had much success in dating. 443 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 1: She was in a long term relationship for. 444 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,879 Speaker 5: About three years, but her ex broke it off and 445 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 5: she still hasn't found anyone Since this was about four 446 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,160 Speaker 5: years ago. She's gone on some dates over the years, 447 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,919 Speaker 5: but nothing seems to work out and this has been 448 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 5: frustrating her. By the way, this comes from users sis 449 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 5: in law throw one and if you want to submit 450 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the ar slash okay stories. 451 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 1: I'm subbured. 452 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 5: So a couple of weeks ago, she found a guy 453 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 5: late twenties on Tinder and they went out on. 454 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 1: A date to a restaurant. Okay, yeah, she said. The 455 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: date went okay, okay, And I. 456 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 5: Don't know all the details, but apparently this guy has 457 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 5: a Monday okay, he owns his own business. He picked 458 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 5: her up in a BMW and they went to a 459 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,719 Speaker 5: really fancy place for their first date. Personal aside, this 460 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,119 Speaker 5: all seems very odd to me from a match on Tinder. 461 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 5: So my wife, twenty nine female, was asking more about 462 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 5: the date, and I got the impression she wasn't physically 463 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,639 Speaker 5: attracted to him. My sister in law likes tall guys, 464 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 5: and he isn't very tall and he's a little overweight. 465 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 5: She showed us his Instagram and he's an alright looking dude, 466 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 5: but I could tell she was kind of on his 467 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 5: physical appearance. 468 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 1: Overall, I feel like with guys if they stand on 469 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 1: their money, it makes them taller. Yeah, that makes sense. 470 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,919 Speaker 5: Is this guy just realizing money is attractive, That's what 471 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,400 Speaker 5: it sounds like. It's like, I don't know what why 472 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 5: my sister could be into this guy with money. Oh buddy, 473 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 5: Oh you're so close. 474 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,159 Speaker 1: You're right there. It's okay to be attracted money. Not 475 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 1: everyone wants it. I don't want that. 476 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 5: Last week, they go on another date. My wife and 477 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 5: I were at my mother in law's fifty two female house. 478 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 5: When she got back, she lives at home and tells 479 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 5: us about how the date went. Again, they go to 480 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 5: a pretty fancy restaurant and apparently it was a carbon 481 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,919 Speaker 5: copy of their previous date, which seems weird. I'm not 482 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,439 Speaker 5: one hundred percent sure what that means. I guess they 483 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 5: had the same conversations. These were her words, and she 484 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 5: was obviously less enthused by this date. My wife asks 485 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,400 Speaker 5: if she's going to see him again, and she said maybe. 486 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 5: I ask if she sees a future with him, and 487 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 5: she said maybe. But since he has money, she wants 488 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 5: to try and make it work. 489 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,879 Speaker 1: She's got to be a little bit more there than money. 490 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 5: Kings, You're worth more than just what's in your pocket. 491 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: Should empty our pockets out right now, and see what 492 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 1: we're worth nothing. I got nothing in my pockets Ford 493 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: Fusion box opener wallet. That's a you could take my identity, 494 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: you could try. 495 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 5: I was shocked by this answer, and I was even 496 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 5: more shocked that my wife or mother in law didn't 497 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 5: say anything to her about this kind of attitude. I said, 498 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 5: sister in law, that's not nice. If you're not attracted 499 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 5: to you shouldn't just use him for fancy dinners. This 500 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 5: didn't start an argument exactly, but she didn't appreciate my comment, 501 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 5: and it kind of soured the evening, so we left 502 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,719 Speaker 5: shortly after m My wife and I got into it 503 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 5: when we got home, and she told me I should 504 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 5: mind my own business. I said, it's fed up that 505 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 5: she's only interested in seeing him more because he has money. 506 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 5: If she had that kind of attitude about me when 507 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 5: we first started dating, we may not have ended up together. 508 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: She said, I was. 509 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 5: Making a lot of assumptions about her intentions, But how 510 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,960 Speaker 5: can I be making assumptions when it came right out 511 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 5: of her mouth. This went on and on for a bit, 512 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,879 Speaker 5: and this is still a lingering issue between us. I 513 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 5: feel like I've become slightly red pilled or something, because 514 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,159 Speaker 5: the more I ste on this, the more it's pissing 515 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 5: me off. And I'm really contemplating reaching out to him 516 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,360 Speaker 5: about this. Gross brother, just no, mind your own business? 517 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,120 Speaker 1: What are you doing? 518 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 3: What? 519 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,360 Speaker 5: This is truly a mind your own business type Yeah? 520 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,159 Speaker 1: Way, yes, you should have not said anything. This sounds 521 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 1: like a conversation you would have with your significant other 522 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: and it ends there. Yeah, and you should go. You're right, 523 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: you shouldn't talk to the sister about this. If you 524 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 1: think that about the sister, don't say it out loud. 525 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, he's gonna go talk to the guy that she's 526 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 5: dating right now and be like, yeah, she just wants 527 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 5: you for your money. 528 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. I could somehow kind of see the intention behind it, 529 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: but that's their business. 530 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, imagine he's just like, yeah, bro, I know, why do. 531 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: You think I pulled up in a BMW? 532 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 5: Why do you think I pulled up in the BMW 533 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 5: and took her to the nicest restaurant in town? 534 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,720 Speaker 1: Come on, it's a factor for me anyway. 535 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 5: Not saying that's right, but it's like none, he's really 536 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,439 Speaker 5: completely none of your business or or like you know, 537 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,040 Speaker 5: feeling like a sense of. 538 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:41,119 Speaker 1: Like justice or righteousness, like he needs to know. It's like, no, 539 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 1: that's their business. 540 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,960 Speaker 5: I don't know him like that, And I'm aware this 541 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,959 Speaker 5: might be a bit excessive, but if I was in 542 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 5: his situation, I would be very grateful of somebody with 543 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,040 Speaker 5: inside information let me know. 544 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if I should. 545 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 5: Do this comment Number one, why do you assume that 546 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 5: this poor, innocent, rich dude is naively flawning, unting his 547 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,919 Speaker 5: wealth and in need of you to come rescue him 548 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,159 Speaker 5: from a shameless gold digger After two tender dates, he 549 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,400 Speaker 5: was smart enough to get some money, and now he's 550 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 5: doing well, and he does what he wants with it, 551 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,120 Speaker 5: which includes using it as a means of advanced social capital. 552 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 5: Picking her up in a flashy car, taking her to 553 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 5: a very high end restaurant, deliberately flashing his wealth on 554 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 5: the first date. Is him using that feature about himself 555 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 5: as a means of making himself more attractive. If he 556 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 5: wanted your sister in law not to care about it, 557 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 5: he wouldn't have done those things or made her aware 558 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 5: of his wealth so early on. I've read an interview 559 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 5: with the founder of Seeking Arrangement where he basically said, 560 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 5: I'm not a great looking guy, and I know I 561 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 5: don't have a lot to offer women, but I am 562 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,919 Speaker 5: loaded and that lets me get with women that are 563 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 5: otherwise way out of my league. 564 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: It's mutually beneficial. 565 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 5: It is super weird and creepy of you to assume 566 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 5: that your sister in law is taking advantage of this dude, 567 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 5: and not that he is an. 568 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 1: Adult who is fully aware of the situation that he 569 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,800 Speaker 1: is in. Keep out of it. And there's a second comment. 570 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 1: Couldn't best sid a better? 571 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,159 Speaker 5: Fully agree with comment number one? There comment number two? 572 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 5: Do you really think a guy in his late twenties 573 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 5: needs you to explain to him that women are attracted 574 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,439 Speaker 5: to him because he has money? 575 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,240 Speaker 1: Are you dense or just weird? This is none of 576 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: your business. 577 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 5: How do you know he's not dating her, just a hookup. 578 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 5: You don't know anything about this. And there's an update. 579 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,159 Speaker 5: I do know that if your wife was upset, you 580 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 5: should have been like, yeah, you're right, happy wife, happy life. 581 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is not a non. 582 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 5: Issue for you. This isn't something that you needed to 583 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 5: like set right with your relationship in hot water over. Yeah, 584 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 5: there's an update. To start off, I did not reach 585 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 5: out to the guy thank god. Thinking about it more, 586 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 5: I can't assume he is a fool, so he must 587 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:47,159 Speaker 5: be aware of what he's doing. Furthermore, the headache that 588 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 5: would have followed if I had reached out is just 589 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 5: not worth it. 590 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: I okay, oh wow, wow, so she's spinning it. 591 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 5: You know what. 592 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 1: I actually I am saving myself energy. Yeah, it's just crazy. 593 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: This is how far No this is? This is his 594 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 1: the brother. Oh this is a dude. Yeah. Oh I 595 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 1: thought it was a woman this whole time. No op 596 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 1: is thirty four mail. Oh I think I got that 597 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 1: mixed up. Guys, so sorry reading comprehension. We'll get the 598 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: everyone's private parts mixed up here. 599 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 5: I got mixed up. I thought this was his sister. 600 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,159 Speaker 5: It's not even his sister. It's his wife's sister. 601 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: I thought this was, which makes it even more of 602 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: a This is none of your business, dude, this is weird. 603 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: A man a man. Uh, it's just just using you 604 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: for your money. I just thought you'd need to know, bro, 605 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 1: Leave it alone. 606 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 5: The reality is there's people who date because they're like 607 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 5: I want to go be taking nice places, into nice things, 608 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 5: and be in a nice car with a guy who 609 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 5: makes a lot of money. 610 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:49,080 Speaker 1: Financial security is attractive. Also sit back and watch it 611 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: as a soap opera. 612 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 5: Man, I would be more like a, hey, you know 613 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 5: that that's not everything right, not in like a I 614 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 5: need to tell him it needs to be like a 615 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 5: we should maybe like try to guide your sister to 616 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,479 Speaker 5: a point where it's like, sure, it's nice to have 617 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 5: a partner who has money, but it's like that shouldn't 618 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 5: be the only thing like keeping you in the relationship, 619 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 5: you know what I mean, Let's. 620 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 1: Be the only attractive factor. You should like his personality. Yeah, 621 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,240 Speaker 1: you get two of the three handsome personality money if 622 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: you have all three, hit me up. 623 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 5: Everything beyond this point I heard secondhand from my wife. 624 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 5: I have not spoken to my mother in law or 625 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 5: sister in law about this situation. Since the incident, I've 626 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 5: come to find out my mother in law did agree 627 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 5: with what I said to my sister in law, but 628 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 5: she knew that if she made a comment about it 629 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 5: that my sister in law would have gotten very upset. 630 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 5: My mother in law told my wife she was actually 631 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 5: going to talk about it more with my sister in 632 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 5: law after my wife and I left that night, but 633 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 5: since I made my comment, she felt like it was 634 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 5: hard to bring it up again without looking like we. 635 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: My mother in law and I, I mean, we're ganging 636 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: up on her. 637 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 5: My wife also told me that she doesn't think my 638 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 5: sister in law should keep seeing him either, if she's 639 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 5: really only interested because he has money. Apparently my wife 640 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 5: didn't like the way I expressed my opinion and was 641 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 5: just happy that my sister in law was putting herself 642 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 5: out there again. The fact my wife didn't tell me 643 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 5: this the night we argued about it and was making 644 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 5: up a bunch of other bs is another frustrating situation, 645 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 5: But I don't want to get too far off topic here. 646 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 5: The reason this came up again is because my sister 647 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 5: in law and this guy went on another date this 648 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 5: past Friday. 649 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 1: There is a group chat with. 650 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 5: Me, my sister in law, mother in law, and my wife, 651 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 5: and the three of them have their own group chat. 652 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 5: My sister in law talked about it in their group chat, 653 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 5: so I'm assuming she's still annoyed at me. So he 654 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,440 Speaker 5: takes her out to dinner again, and this time apparently 655 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 5: he's being very flirty. Some context here, my sister in 656 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 5: law is not great at conversations, so I think what's 657 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 5: happening here is he's complimenting her and she's just saying thanks, 658 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 5: and the convos stops there. 659 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: This is relevant for the next part. 660 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 5: Her hand was on the table and the guy put 661 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 5: his hand on hers, which she pulled back and took 662 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 5: her hand off the table. This was referred to as 663 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,680 Speaker 5: him being too handsy in the chat. 664 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: Nah, girl, this. 665 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,719 Speaker 5: Is just when you're like, if you're physically repulsed by 666 00:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,959 Speaker 5: the guy you're seeing, you should leave. 667 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, not the vibe. 668 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 5: He apologized and she said it was fine. I don't 669 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 5: think she told him why she reacted like that. There's 670 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 5: a little bit more story here. 671 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: This guy's missing the whole point of her going on 672 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: this date, the point she's putting herself back out there 673 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 1: after being with someone for a pretty good bit, and 674 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 1: she's figuring out the ropes. It's sort of like watching 675 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,720 Speaker 1: a kid be on a bicycle. They're gonna fall, they're 676 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: gonna get hurt. But he's like, no, no, no, put training 677 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: rules on. You're wearing that helmet wrong. You actually need 678 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 1: to wear this shirt instead of that shirt. 679 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 5: I mean, I think it's less of like that and 680 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 5: more like he's coming from a place that's relevant, Like 681 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 5: his wife and the mother in law like agree with him, 682 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 5: but it was about the way he went about it, 683 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 5: which is like calling her out at dinner and being 684 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 5: like he doesn't deserve that. It should be more of 685 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 5: like a what do you want and what do you 686 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 5: actually deserve? You deserve a guy that you actually have 687 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 5: a connection with beyond just someone who has money. That's 688 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 5: a very empty, hollow connection mm hmm. And it's like, yeah, 689 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 5: just because there are people who date like that doesn't 690 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 5: mean that it's like the right way to go about 691 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 5: it or that it's pot you know. And so instead 692 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 5: of like putting it on like a you're doing a 693 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 5: bad thing and you should feel bad for being bad, 694 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 5: it's like, of course, it's it's your wife's sister, Like 695 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 5: she's gonna stick up for her sister even when she 696 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 5: agrees with you. 697 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 1: Just stick up for your sister in law. My dude, 698 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 1: why are we worried about this guy's feelings? Do you 699 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: want to date them? Are you trying to go to 700 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 1: date with them? That's the issue. You just nailed it. 701 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 5: It's that it feels like you care more about the 702 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 5: random Tinder guy than about the sister in law. 703 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 1: All right, let's finish this story. 704 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 5: The rest of the date went normal, I suppose after that, 705 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 5: and when he dropped her off at home, he didn't 706 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,240 Speaker 5: get out of the car and walk her to the 707 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 5: front door. He just said bye and left. He had 708 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 5: walked her to the front door the first two times. 709 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,000 Speaker 5: The next day, he texted her and apologized again for 710 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 5: being too forward with her. She did respond, and she 711 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 5: told my wife and mother in law that she's not 712 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 5: going to see him anymore. My wife is of the 713 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 5: belief she's just upset right now and she might change 714 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,680 Speaker 5: her mind in a couple of days. 715 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: What. 716 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 5: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. She's just she 717 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 5: doesn't like this guy. She's ghosting him. If she's moving on, 718 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 5: I would counsel her, yea, not to go back to 719 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 5: this guy. So you clearly don't like him. So this 720 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 5: saga has seemingly reached its end. I am all but 721 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 5: certain I'm secretly being blamed for this because I open 722 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 5: my mouth, which is whatever, No, you're not, you're stop it. 723 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:31,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, stop overthinking, dude. 724 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,040 Speaker 5: I'm not a mind reader, so I had no way 725 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 5: of knowing how my wife and mother in law felt 726 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 5: at the time we all heard her logic for continuing 727 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 5: the relationship. I'm very aware she's super sensitive and does 728 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 5: not take any form of detraction or criticism. Well, but 729 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 5: there are just some subjects people need to hear straight up, 730 00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 5: and I believe this is. 731 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 1: One of them. 732 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 5: No, dude, you're believing it wrong. Yeah, you need to 733 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 5: when it's your broski or when it's someone who's not, 734 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 5: I don't know, directly related to your wife. 735 00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: Maybe you can be a little more heavy handed, fired 736 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: better execution on your part. It doesn't seem like you 737 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,320 Speaker 1: have a that kind of relationship with a system law either. Well, 738 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,439 Speaker 1: it's like like if I was close to my sister 739 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,880 Speaker 1: in law, like, girl, are you just aftering for his money? 740 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: Were you doing not right? Sister laws? He's introverted, takes 741 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: a little bit time to warm up to not engaging 742 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: into the dating thing. But she's not super comfortable with it. 743 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 1: But she's putting herself out there and you're coming out 744 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 1: there with Uh, you shouldn't liked it for his money. 745 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 1: You pulled away from him, and you should have told 746 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:29,719 Speaker 1: him why boo boo boy. 747 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 5: Well he didn't say that to her. All that was 748 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 5: secondhand from the wife. That's true, but then he was 749 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 5: feeling that. Yeah, but it's it is true that she 750 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 5: said at the table, She's like, I'm only going to 751 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,320 Speaker 5: try to make this work because his money. 752 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 1: She said that at dinner, And it's. 753 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,720 Speaker 6: Crazy that both your mother in law and your wife 754 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 6: agreed with your position, but you clearly executed it so 755 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 6: poorly that they had to be like, whoa dude, mind 756 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,319 Speaker 6: your own business, because it's like, you can't go from 757 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 6: a place of shame. 758 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 5: It felt like you were just trying to shame her. Yeah, 759 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:04,920 Speaker 5: weird mentor not shame mentor shit friendship. 760 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, anyways, we got another freaking story for you, guys, 761 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,400 Speaker 1: we do. It's coming right up. Hey, it's Sam. We're 762 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 1: gonna get back to these stories. 763 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,480 Speaker 6: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that 764 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,320 Speaker 6: keep the show alive. 765 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,080 Speaker 3: I still invited my ex sister in law despite my 766 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 3: in law's wishes. 767 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: Man forget them in laws. 768 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:27,359 Speaker 3: Trigger warning emotional and mental abuse, and Ope says keep 769 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,360 Speaker 3: in mind, I am a thirty five female, am usually 770 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 3: not one to speak up. I'm a fellow introvert, recovering 771 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,280 Speaker 3: people pleaser with a little anxiety when it comes to conflict. 772 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong, I love drama as long as 773 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 3: it's not my own. I just like to sit on 774 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 3: the side and observe while eating popcorn. 775 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:46,200 Speaker 1: Just like us. 776 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. By the way, this comes from Imaginary Resists seventy 777 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 3: four on the r slash Charlotte do Bray YouTube subred it, 778 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 779 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime subret it. I'm Sophia, 780 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,880 Speaker 3: I'm Riley, and Ope says I'm I met my husband 781 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,719 Speaker 3: thirty six male, let's call him Dan when we were teenagers, 782 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,800 Speaker 3: and we have been together since we were eighteen and nineteen, 783 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,319 Speaker 3: so we kind of grew up together. We lived three 784 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,640 Speaker 3: hours and a toll road apart back then, so he 785 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 3: moved in with me pretty quickly. He's the middle child 786 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,439 Speaker 3: of a bunch of six siblings. It has always been 787 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,400 Speaker 3: kind of an issue for one of his elder brothers, 788 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,280 Speaker 3: now forty one male, let's call him Luke, that I 789 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 3: stole his little brother and moved him far away from him. Bruh, 790 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:31,360 Speaker 3: that's so weird. 791 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 1: It is weird. 792 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,480 Speaker 3: Your siblings can move. 793 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,520 Speaker 1: They can do that. They can move to New York 794 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:37,800 Speaker 1: to get away from you. It's fine. 795 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 3: For all this time, Luke has had some kind of 796 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:45,760 Speaker 3: anger issues. No they can't move. Wait, editor put. 797 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,280 Speaker 1: A delay response on Sophia. 798 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:53,320 Speaker 3: No they can't move. I'm up with Luke come back 799 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 3: and has had this kind of know it all attitude 800 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 3: towards me and my husband. I always felt like he 801 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,480 Speaker 3: didn't like me. Luke met his now ex wife now 802 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,760 Speaker 3: thirty four female, let's call her Mary in twenty eleven, 803 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,200 Speaker 3: around the same time I got pregnant with our first child. 804 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 3: She got pregnant pretty fast too, by accident. Our daughters 805 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 3: were born two months apart in twenty twelve. My husband 806 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:19,360 Speaker 3: and I have been struggling for years with school, different jobs, 807 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 3: health issues, money, et cetera. We have had our ups 808 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,240 Speaker 3: and downs, like most couples do. We rented an apartment 809 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,720 Speaker 3: for ten years. Money was always tight up until twenty 810 00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,719 Speaker 3: twenty one. By this time we now had two daughters. 811 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,799 Speaker 3: I finished my degree in social education. We both got 812 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,720 Speaker 3: decent jobs, a car, and started saving for our first house. Okay, 813 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,959 Speaker 3: and in the meantime, Luke and Mary had got three 814 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 3: kids in total, a house and a car, well paid jobs, 815 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,759 Speaker 3: some insurance money, et cetera, and their own personal issues. 816 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,839 Speaker 1: As well, But it sounds like, Ohpe's got it figured out. 817 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,839 Speaker 3: Po Well, Luke always flashed his money like he had 818 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 3: a money tree in his backyard or something. Or let's 819 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,280 Speaker 3: call it dirty money. Dan call Luke out. 820 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 1: Uh oh, you never learn how to clean it? 821 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know he has done some illegal crap. He's 822 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,360 Speaker 3: always rubbed it in Dan's face. How he should have 823 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,879 Speaker 3: lived his life in a different way so money would 824 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:13,919 Speaker 3: come faster. 825 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,840 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 826 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,799 Speaker 3: Or that he should move closer to him so they 827 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,480 Speaker 3: could work together and make some dirty money. Is he 828 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 3: saying this? 829 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: I think so? 830 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 3: Is he calling your husband? I've been like, hey, you 831 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,120 Speaker 3: want to make some dirty money? Why who does that? 832 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: Like, hey, let's go sell some fun drug some I 833 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: feel fun pugs. 834 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,880 Speaker 3: I feel like he thinks he's in like pulp fiction. 835 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 1: Probably it is glorified within movies. But dude, so if 836 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,080 Speaker 1: all you're chasing is money and materials. 837 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 3: It's not a good life. 838 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,359 Speaker 1: Dude. I'm rich. I am. 839 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,839 Speaker 3: I went in love and friendship, just. 840 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,520 Speaker 1: Like I was thinking today because someone that I know 841 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 1: is in a very beachy place, and I'm like, dude, 842 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,279 Speaker 1: I'm also in a great place. Yeah, and I'm with 843 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 1: the great friends and great company. I'm rich exactly. 844 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 3: I agree you don't need money or material things to 845 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 3: come have good life. For Dan and I, it has 846 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:09,479 Speaker 3: never been about money. Happiness comes from spending time together, etc. Yeah, 847 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,239 Speaker 3: that's a good mindset. At first, we only saw the 848 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 3: in laws on birthdays or special occasions, but over the 849 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,759 Speaker 3: years we all grew closer to Mary. She has a 850 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,000 Speaker 3: special bond with our middle daughter. For a little more context, 851 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,800 Speaker 3: our differences show a lot through how we are raising 852 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,840 Speaker 3: our children. I expect my children to behave in public, 853 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 3: treat their own belongings right, respect others privacy and belongings, 854 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,520 Speaker 3: not talk back, eat what's being served, et cetera. I'm 855 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,799 Speaker 3: not a strict parent. My kids just no boundaries. I 856 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 3: have studied children's development and work in some kind of 857 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,640 Speaker 3: daycare in kindergarten. Luke and Mary's kids, on the other hand, 858 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 3: that's a whole other story. But I'm a professional and 859 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 3: tend to not mix work and others' personal life. Outside 860 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,719 Speaker 3: of work, we finally bought our house in twenty twenty two. 861 00:39:55,239 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 3: It's a big house, bigger than Luke's. Uh oh julu. 862 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 1: Uh flex on them measurement off yeah, mind's bigger. 863 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,319 Speaker 3: It's not about the size, op, It's about the happiness 864 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,920 Speaker 3: that happens in your life. 865 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: So the frequency, what with the frequency? 866 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 3: Just don't compare? 867 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,440 Speaker 1: Or is it more like the wave okay? Or is 868 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,480 Speaker 1: it talk of the sailor? 869 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,840 Speaker 3: So they would come visit us more often because we 870 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 3: have the space. We have chosen to live in a 871 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,319 Speaker 3: cheaper part of the country so we can afford more 872 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,359 Speaker 3: room for a family of five. And then along came 873 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,320 Speaker 3: our third and last pregnancy. This one was the hardest 874 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,160 Speaker 3: for my body, and I suffered with pelvic joint pain 875 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 3: and some days I could hardly walk. Luke Mary and 876 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,920 Speaker 3: the kids joined us for the Christmas holiday in twenty 877 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:47,919 Speaker 3: twenty two, and let me tell you, crap went downhill 878 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,080 Speaker 3: from here. I was the one cooking and cleaning, picking 879 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,440 Speaker 3: toys up from all over the house. While I was 880 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:57,080 Speaker 3: in the kitchen, their two youngest kids had emptied several 881 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 3: boxes of toys on the floor in the playroom and 882 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,080 Speaker 3: they start throwing them around, trying to aim at a 883 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,800 Speaker 3: picture frame on the wall. This was the very first 884 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,960 Speaker 3: time I said something about how to behave as a 885 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,680 Speaker 3: guest in my house. But this didn't suit Luke. His 886 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,600 Speaker 3: mood dropped instantly, and I heard him tell his middle 887 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,759 Speaker 3: child that he knew I was lying and that he 888 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,560 Speaker 3: didn't have to clean up after himself. 889 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 1: What okay lying about? 890 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:20,719 Speaker 3: What? 891 00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 1: Uh? You can go now bye? 892 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Luke was like, hey, kid, get over here. Oh, 893 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 3: he's totally lying about throwing things in the house. She 894 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,359 Speaker 3: actually wants you to behave like that. Do it, little 895 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,320 Speaker 3: devil on his shoulder. 896 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 1: That makes no sense. 897 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 3: Mary ended up picking up after them. They left early 898 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,319 Speaker 3: the next morning. In February, we visited them for two 899 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,320 Speaker 3: of their children's birthday party. Luke was in a bad 900 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 3: mood and in the middle of the party he fell 901 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,840 Speaker 3: asleep on the couch. My husband and one of his 902 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 3: other brothers went for a short drive. When they got back, 903 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,640 Speaker 3: Luke had woken up and threw a temper tantrum at 904 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,560 Speaker 3: his brother's and told them to get out of his house. 905 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 3: He was screaming in their faces. We all left by that. Yikes. 906 00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,279 Speaker 3: By spring twenty twenty three, our third daughter was born 907 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,359 Speaker 3: and they came to visit us again. Well, I'm sorry, 908 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,359 Speaker 3: he's screaming in people's faces. I don't think that would 909 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,200 Speaker 3: necessarily have to be like you never see him again. 910 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,760 Speaker 3: But it doesn't even seem like they had a conversation, 911 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 3: Like I wouldn't go see him again if there was 912 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,440 Speaker 3: no conversation in apology. 913 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,439 Speaker 1: They did have a conversation, not after that, not after 914 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:28,839 Speaker 1: the screen. Well, don't you remember it was a very 915 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 1: one way one side. 916 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 3: Is Yeah, it was just him yell loud. 917 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:33,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a conversation. 918 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. That was the only time they talked about that 919 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,280 Speaker 3: screaming match was when it was happening. 920 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:39,440 Speaker 1: Yikes. 921 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 3: I would I mean go back if they didn't have 922 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,600 Speaker 3: at least, like, you know, demanded an apology. 923 00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:48,400 Speaker 1: Well, we already kind of know how Luke feels about 924 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,960 Speaker 1: all this, and he's kind of mindset. If he's making 925 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 1: this kind of money on the side, do you think 926 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,240 Speaker 1: his home life is the opposite? 927 00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:58,399 Speaker 3: Yeah? I don't. 928 00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,840 Speaker 1: What do you think if he's making dirty money on 929 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:04,320 Speaker 1: the side or as a job, is his home life 930 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,000 Speaker 1: also going to be like the best thing ever? 931 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,000 Speaker 3: No? I agree, But I'm just saying, like, why would like, 932 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,560 Speaker 3: why would they go visit you know, let them visit it? 933 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:12,279 Speaker 1: Care got it? 934 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 3: Okay? I knew they were having trouble in their marriage, 935 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,839 Speaker 3: and I wanted Mary to stay family even if they 936 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,680 Speaker 3: decided to split up, So I asked her to be 937 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,000 Speaker 3: the godmother to our youngest daughter. To be fair to 938 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,920 Speaker 3: my brother in law, we also asked him, Oh, you 939 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,240 Speaker 3: don't have to be fair godparents. 940 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,799 Speaker 1: You This isn't t ball where everyone gets a participation 941 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:34,319 Speaker 1: at wards. 942 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't personally know my godmother. 943 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 1: Oh, and you know you don't have to mind Jordan's alive. 944 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,200 Speaker 3: Sometimes you gotta pick people who are like, you know, 945 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,200 Speaker 3: but you're close to both of them. 946 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:46,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 947 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,120 Speaker 1: I don't think my godfather knows he's my godfather to 948 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,280 Speaker 1: talk to him. 949 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,920 Speaker 3: On the day when the baptisms took place. We also 950 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:57,520 Speaker 3: at a surprise wedding we finally got married. Okay, congratulations, 951 00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 3: Wait what op I guess op and Opie's partner just 952 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:02,200 Speaker 3: got married. 953 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,040 Speaker 1: Surprisedly, Yeah, time out. 954 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,719 Speaker 3: I think they were like at the church and they 955 00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 3: were like, hey, we're already here. 956 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,919 Speaker 1: Hear me out? Yeah, plan the proposal, surprise wedding. Hey, 957 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,439 Speaker 1: we're gonna get proposal on this day. But you don't 958 00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,279 Speaker 1: know when I'm gonna marry you. 959 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,439 Speaker 3: Oh, you never know, you never know. 960 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,160 Speaker 1: What do you think about that? 961 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,880 Speaker 3: I would hate that because I would want to well, personally, 962 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:25,960 Speaker 3: I would want to plan the wedding. 963 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,240 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, okay, yes, we'll say everything a person 964 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: who like everything's already planned. Yeah, all that stuff's good 965 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,479 Speaker 1: to go. All you do is just live your life, 966 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,720 Speaker 1: and at any given moment, you're handed a white dress 967 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:39,280 Speaker 1: and you just gotta get going. 968 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 3: Someone better be there to like do my hair. 969 00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're already, like you're eighty percent of the way there, 970 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,480 Speaker 1: Like at any moment, you're already at eighty percent. 971 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,279 Speaker 3: Okay, maybe I think we should make that aff We 972 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,000 Speaker 3: could pitch it to take the stress out of wedding planning. Yeah, 973 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,080 Speaker 3: someone else plans it and you don't know about it. 974 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:59,000 Speaker 1: And you put more emphasis on the proposal, and you 975 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,959 Speaker 1: spend one hundreds of thousand dollars or like thousand dollars 976 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,080 Speaker 1: in the proposal, one. 977 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,680 Speaker 3: Hundreds of thousands of dollars. 978 00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:05,920 Speaker 1: I mean, if you want, if you got that. 979 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,320 Speaker 3: Kind of cash and that money on weddings. 980 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,160 Speaker 1: You haven't been to a lot of weddings, you said 981 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,640 Speaker 1: I have, Now you haven't haven't been to one where 982 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:13,879 Speaker 1: they spend on hundreds of thousand dollars. 983 00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,239 Speaker 3: Because I'm not friends with billionaires. 984 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:21,400 Speaker 1: Millionaires, Yeah, millionaire, doctors, lawyers. You need to work on 985 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:21,960 Speaker 1: your network. 986 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,560 Speaker 3: Sofia, no one knew except my grandparents, whom we only 987 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,239 Speaker 3: told because they live outside the country and we only 988 00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,800 Speaker 3: invited our immediate family. I hate the attention and wanted 989 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,879 Speaker 3: the day to be about our daughter, not us. Luke 990 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,920 Speaker 3: showed up at the church with his children. No Mary. 991 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,839 Speaker 3: He had told her to stay home. He didn't want 992 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,960 Speaker 3: her to be a part of his family. 993 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:47,040 Speaker 1: His wife sounds like it. They don't like over it. Hey, 994 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:48,520 Speaker 1: it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories. 995 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 1: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors 996 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:51,480 Speaker 1: that keep the show going. 997 00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,680 Speaker 3: Afterwards, we had a little celebration at our house with 998 00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,680 Speaker 3: the three course menu, and my husband surprised me with 999 00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 3: the speech and a toast. Meanwhile, Luke made the whole 1000 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,360 Speaker 3: day about him. He cried like a little girl in 1001 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 3: the church during the food, the speech, everything. He made 1002 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,480 Speaker 3: sure he got sympathy from everyone in my family, even 1003 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:13,879 Speaker 3: my grandmother. Since then, she's always asking about him when 1004 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,320 Speaker 3: we talk. We've only seen Luke and Mary a couple 1005 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 3: of times since that day. Their relationship has been going downhill. 1006 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:26,239 Speaker 3: Since then. They have been accusing each other of violence, harmflax, booze, substance, 1007 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,640 Speaker 3: you name it. Oh. Police have been at their house 1008 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,560 Speaker 3: several times. She finally moved out of the house before 1009 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:35,560 Speaker 3: last Christmas, but the mental abuse kept going. He is 1010 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,799 Speaker 3: accusing her of manipulating everyone to believe that he is 1011 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,719 Speaker 3: having a drinking problem. In hindsight, there have always been 1012 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:46,759 Speaker 3: signs of harmful mental acts by him. There have been 1013 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,719 Speaker 3: times when he asked her to go to bed so 1014 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,640 Speaker 3: that he could spend time with his brother. What he's 1015 00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:54,480 Speaker 3: telling an adult to go to bed so he can 1016 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,520 Speaker 3: spend time with his brother. You can do that. She 1017 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:58,600 Speaker 3: doesn't have to go to bed. 1018 00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 1: She probably doesn't know that's an option if she's in 1019 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,840 Speaker 1: this mind warp of a relationship razy. 1020 00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 3: It's always been at times when her and I had 1021 00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,840 Speaker 3: fun playing games and sipping a little wine after the 1022 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,000 Speaker 3: kids were to put to bed, But at the same 1023 00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,360 Speaker 3: time he has been drinking several bottles of red wine 1024 00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,920 Speaker 3: while we shared one or two when one of us 1025 00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:21,000 Speaker 3: was pregnant, he was the one drinking. Ooh, I would 1026 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,799 Speaker 3: just not be around these people, Like, why isn't the 1027 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,800 Speaker 3: husband calling his brother out for this behavior? 1028 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:29,440 Speaker 1: That is weird. There's that aspect. Family's family. Yeah, but 1029 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:33,799 Speaker 1: like there's a point where your family needs to be 1030 00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:34,680 Speaker 1: in time out. 1031 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:36,960 Speaker 3: You need to calm out. A few weeks ago, he 1032 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:40,760 Speaker 3: showed his true colors and crap went down. It seems 1033 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:45,440 Speaker 3: like his true colors were pretty real gray. Yeah. I 1034 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,680 Speaker 3: miss Mary. I was never ready to lose her as 1035 00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 3: a sister in law or as a friend. Mary misses 1036 00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,879 Speaker 3: our daughters and they miss her. Their children miss Dan. 1037 00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,920 Speaker 3: Everyone misses everyone except Luke. No one misses him. Everyone 1038 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,520 Speaker 3: hates the negative tension around him. So I invited Mary 1039 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:07,400 Speaker 3: over for a weekend. She would bring the two youngest boys. Unfortunately, 1040 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,880 Speaker 3: the boys got sick and they didn't come. The middle 1041 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,480 Speaker 3: boy went to spend some time with his father and 1042 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,600 Speaker 3: told him about the trip, and let me tell you, 1043 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:20,560 Speaker 3: he was mad. He was livid. He started blowing Mary's 1044 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,880 Speaker 3: phone out with calls and messages, then my husband's phone, 1045 00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,640 Speaker 3: telling him to never speak to him again. My husband 1046 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,880 Speaker 3: had nothing to do with it. So I sent a 1047 00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,160 Speaker 3: message to Luke. I told him he could be mad 1048 00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 3: at me, not Dan, and not Mary, and that he 1049 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,000 Speaker 3: could just have asked about it and I would have explained. 1050 00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,359 Speaker 3: I added that he could call me and I would 1051 00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,799 Speaker 3: tell him what was going on. Luke simply replied that 1052 00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:42,879 Speaker 3: he had nothing more to. 1053 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:43,319 Speaker 1: Share to me. 1054 00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:47,440 Speaker 3: Fair enough, I answered. The next hour, he's probably drinking 1055 00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:50,360 Speaker 3: even more and is still blowing his anger out on 1056 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:54,680 Speaker 3: Mary by text. Then he starts messaging me again. He 1057 00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:56,960 Speaker 3: tells me he wants to be removed as a godfather 1058 00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,560 Speaker 3: to my children and that he will contact the church 1059 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,319 Speaker 3: on Monday. Be prepared he has. I replied that I 1060 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,200 Speaker 3: can do it for him if it's possible, and besides, 1061 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,759 Speaker 3: I remind him that he is only godfather to one 1062 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:09,080 Speaker 3: of them. 1063 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:09,520 Speaker 1: Hmmm. 1064 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,920 Speaker 3: I start googling if it's possible, then message again and 1065 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:17,600 Speaker 3: I'm sorry it can't be done. Unfortunately weird. 1066 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:22,640 Speaker 1: So my question getting rid of Godfather writes what does 1067 00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:23,759 Speaker 1: it even do? 1068 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 3: Nothing? That's why it's so stupid. It's literally like a 1069 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:32,000 Speaker 3: symbolic title like yes, there are like technically in the 1070 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,360 Speaker 3: eyes of the church rolls that you're trying to fulfill 1071 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,279 Speaker 3: and like you're trying to guide your child in the 1072 00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:43,160 Speaker 3: ways of okay, the religion, but like effectively it does nothing. 1073 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,799 Speaker 3: You don't need to like say, remove me is God? 1074 00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:48,000 Speaker 3: Like there's no you know, form. 1075 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:48,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1076 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:52,040 Speaker 3: Culture Church was probably like, he just doesn't have to 1077 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:52,600 Speaker 3: be there. 1078 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,279 Speaker 1: You're released. What else are we supposed to say? 1079 00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like if you got like a degree in 1080 00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 3: something and then you were like, I don't want to 1081 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,520 Speaker 3: be a don't make it. You like, get rid of 1082 00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,799 Speaker 3: my degree, they'd be like, you don't have to be 1083 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,440 Speaker 3: a lawyer. Just don't be a lawyer. 1084 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:08,279 Speaker 1: Don't do it. 1085 00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,760 Speaker 3: We're not gonna take away your degree. You just don't 1086 00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:13,960 Speaker 3: do it, he fires back. If you anna, I hope 1087 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,279 Speaker 3: you're proud of yourself. But there is a little bit 1088 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,360 Speaker 3: left to this story. Do any final thoughts. 1089 00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:20,600 Speaker 1: This is so ridiculous. 1090 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:21,440 Speaker 3: This is ridiculous. 1091 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,239 Speaker 1: This is a waste of our time and your time too, 1092 00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,720 Speaker 1: just audacitating them. Yeah. 1093 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,319 Speaker 3: Literally, I would go load to no contacts. If he 1094 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:35,080 Speaker 3: reaches out and is apologetic, maybe we can figure that out. 1095 00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:36,919 Speaker 3: But like right now, I feel like you guys keep 1096 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,440 Speaker 3: giving him chances when he hasn't apologized for any of 1097 00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,839 Speaker 3: his baby Yeah, it's weird, but there is a little 1098 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:47,280 Speaker 3: bit left to this story. I answer, the world doesn't 1099 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,400 Speaker 3: revolve around you, Luke, seek some help before you burn 1100 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,279 Speaker 3: any more bridges. I have done nothing wrong. Towards you, 1101 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:56,799 Speaker 3: but keep your frustrations coming at me. I have wide shoulders. 1102 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,960 Speaker 3: I can handle it. Nice. He responds. I will know 1103 00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,320 Speaker 3: ever set my feet at your house again. This bridge 1104 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:07,200 Speaker 3: could never be rebuilt again. Fine, I reply, and he 1105 00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:09,960 Speaker 3: finishes with the thumbs up. I'd be like, day, goodness, 1106 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,240 Speaker 3: the please don't come back. 1107 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,920 Speaker 1: Please don't. I don't you promise, No, you don't. You 1108 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,640 Speaker 1: don't really mean it, do you know? 1109 00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,759 Speaker 3: After that day, Luke told Mary to never bring his 1110 00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:24,120 Speaker 3: children to visit us. You can't really well, I guess 1111 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:25,080 Speaker 3: they're still together. 1112 00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,839 Speaker 1: They are rough, probably will be for a little bit. 1113 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:33,160 Speaker 3: That's the crazy thing. Like they're still together, and he's 1114 00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:36,400 Speaker 3: mad that OPI is reaching out to hang out with 1115 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,520 Speaker 3: his wife, Like it's not even like, oh, you know, 1116 00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:42,960 Speaker 3: we're getting divorced. Why are you hanging out with my eggs? 1117 00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:47,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, in a household like that, something probably happened. And 1118 00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,400 Speaker 1: he's getting a clue that she's going to say something 1119 00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,000 Speaker 1: to her. 1120 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,520 Speaker 3: I mean he's trying, and he is, yeah, isolating her. 1121 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:56,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1122 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,160 Speaker 3: Dan doesn't give a flying f about Luke. He grew 1123 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,360 Speaker 3: up with this behavior and has been tolerating it because 1124 00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,240 Speaker 3: of Mary and the children. He hasn't talked to Luke again. 1125 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 3: Now I need you to tell me, am I the 1126 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:09,120 Speaker 3: aole for inviting my ex sister in law to come 1127 00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:09,960 Speaker 3: visit us. 1128 00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:12,120 Speaker 1: Uh no, no, And I. 1129 00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:15,200 Speaker 3: Think you should keep reaching out to her regardless of 1130 00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:17,760 Speaker 3: what Luke says, because she needs a friend. 1131 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:19,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, make sure she's doing alright. 1132 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:25,560 Speaker 3: That's not great situation for anyone. Yeah, but that is 1133 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,799 Speaker 3: the end of the story and the end of the episode. Yes, 1134 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,200 Speaker 3: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe We 1135 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,160 Speaker 3: Love You and 1136 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:34,520 Speaker 1: See it tomorrow.