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Speaker 1: I didn't accept my daughter when she came out to me.

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Speaker 1: Now she won't speak to me.

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Speaker 2: What do I do?

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Speaker 1: This comes from No Sugar seventy five to four in June,

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Speaker 1: and they say, will my daughter ever forgive me? My

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Speaker 1: adult daughter twenty four will not talk to me. I

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Speaker 1: recognize my pardon it, and I understand her initial pain.

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Speaker 1: When I go out of the way to apologize and

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Speaker 1: try to heal with her, she still perpetuates publicly that

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Speaker 1: I am some sort of monster that has disowned her.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think there's anything I can do now.

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Speaker 1: It's in her court now. I was not accepting when

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Speaker 1: my daughter came out as a lesbian. I'm a lifelong Catholic.

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Speaker 1: I told her I will always love her, but I

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Speaker 1: don't agree with her choice. I believe you can love

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Speaker 1: people without agreeing with every part of them. For a while,

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Speaker 1: our relationship was rocky until she started dating a girl

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Speaker 1: and I asked her to keep her relationship separate from

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Speaker 1: our family.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, not good.

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Speaker 1: Not good, And now I realize how wrong that is.

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Speaker 1: She has not spoken to me since. I've reached out

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Speaker 1: multiple times to tell her I'm sorry. She and it's

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Speaker 1: the death and the funeral of my grandmother, who had

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Speaker 1: a huge upbringing in her life. Because she refuses to

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Speaker 1: talk to me, I've offered to go to therapy with her.

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Speaker 2: She refuses.

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Speaker 1: She no longer even talks to her sisters because of

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Speaker 1: their proximity to me, and says they enabled me to

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Speaker 1: be hateful and abusive because they won't stop talking to me. Well,

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Speaker 1: she got married last week. Oh wow, none of her

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Speaker 1: family was there. My friend sent a screenshot of a

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Speaker 1: post she made about how she didn't have a supportive

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Speaker 1: mother to help her plan her wedding or pick out

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Speaker 1: her dress, and honestly, it made me so angry. I

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Speaker 1: wanted nothing more but to be there. I understand the

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Speaker 1: hurt I caused, but I believe this goes beyond me.

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Speaker 1: I love my daughter so much, regardless of her life choices.

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Speaker 1: She could be in prison and I would feel the

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Speaker 1: same way, because you know, being a lesbian is the

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Speaker 1: same as being a murderer.

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Speaker 2: Yep, basically the same.

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Speaker 1: And there are some relevant comments and another thick juicy update.

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Speaker 1: But what do you think about Op's question?

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Speaker 2: Will my daughter ever forgive me? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I think well one, I think mom could use some

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Speaker 3: help from perhaps I know the mom said like going.

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Speaker 4: To therapy together or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Right, I think if the mom, maybe the mom already

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Speaker 3: is doing this, going to therapy and trying to figure

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Speaker 3: out how best to approach ideally a LGBTQ plus like

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Speaker 3: therapist or something like that to help her, or like

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Speaker 3: someone who like specializes in that kind of work to

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Speaker 3: help the mom kind of figure out how to approach

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Speaker 3: the daughter.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Because I feel like even

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Speaker 1: in this post, I'm getting like this undercurrent of wanting

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Speaker 1: so bad to understand, but maybe not have having put

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Speaker 1: in all the effort needed, yeah, to understand. And I

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Speaker 1: think when you don't have a good relationship with your daughter,

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Speaker 1: you need to start putting in the educational rounds to

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Speaker 1: get there.

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Speaker 3: She has taken this this first step of like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I want to repair and I know that that's wrong,

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Speaker 3: and I want to improve great to recog.

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Speaker 2: Which is what we want. We always just be able

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Speaker 2: to improve.

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Speaker 4: Which is what we want.

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Speaker 3: And so now it's like, yeah, maybe I don't know

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Speaker 3: talking with And also I'd be very curious if any

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Speaker 3: anyone in the chat or anything has any stories personal

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Speaker 3: otherwise that would help illustrate that they've seen firsthand. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: talking talking with someone, ideally like a a therapist who

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Speaker 3: can help walk her through and educate her on all

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Speaker 3: the stuff. Because even saying the thing like even if

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Speaker 3: she was in prison, it's like, come on.

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Speaker 1: Bru, which is I feel like that sentence is a

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Speaker 1: sign of maybe an unreliable narrator.

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Speaker 5: What happened with prison?

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Speaker 1: Nothing happened with She said she would accept her daughter

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Speaker 1: even if she was in prison.

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Speaker 6: So so she's equating gayness toting.

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Speaker 5: I just got here.

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Speaker 2: Oh she.

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Speaker 4: So talk to someone and talk to a therapist that

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Speaker 4: I think specialized.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so relevant comments commenter. I'm curious if you're still

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Speaker 1: not supportive of her quote unquote choice. I myself am

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Speaker 1: a lesbian, and I know I would act exactly like

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Speaker 1: your daughter if my parents were like you. But I'm

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Speaker 1: also aware that people can change and realize things later

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Speaker 1: in life. She is deeply hurt that her parent, who

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Speaker 1: was supposed to love her unconditionally, refused a major part

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Speaker 1: of her She is always going to be somehow hurt

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Speaker 1: by it. But if you're accepting of her now supportive

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Speaker 1: of her, I honestly think with time she can forgive you.

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Speaker 1: You can only show your honest support for her and

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Speaker 1: hope she lets you back in her life, which I

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Speaker 1: think is true.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's like it's and I also love that.

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Speaker 3: That was kind of what I was asking everyone, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: it would be great to find someone in that scenario,

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Speaker 3: which the commentar literally was, which is great, which she's

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Speaker 3: being fair. It's like, hey, you know, she's trying to

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Speaker 3: learn and understand. But also at the same time, I

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Speaker 3: could see how frustrating it'd be, like I support your

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Speaker 3: your lifestyle, your choice to be a criminal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: So it's like, how frustrating and annoying is it from

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Speaker 3: her daughter's perspective and more to deal with that.

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Speaker 1: But I think there is a big step in just

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Speaker 1: trying to be understanding.

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Speaker 4: That's like, yeah, it's a huge first step to get

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Speaker 4: on the path.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think Ope's initial post shows that there there's an

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Speaker 1: effort put to change, and I think I think I

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Speaker 1: believe that everyone can change if they really feel emotionally

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Speaker 1: driven by it, which it seems like opis. Opie responds,

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Speaker 1: I feel the same way as if she were to

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Speaker 1: make any choice I don't agree with. I will love

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Speaker 1: her unconditionally, even if I don't agree with it, I

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Speaker 1: don't think that will change. Common To responds when you

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Speaker 1: say you're sorry, what exactly are you sorry for? And

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Speaker 1: what are you prepared to do differently now compared to

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Speaker 1: how you behaved in the past. OPI responds, I am

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Speaker 1: sorry that she feels like I don't love or support her.

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Speaker 5: I mean, but she doesn't support her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like, even if I don't agree with it,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that.

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Speaker 5: If I don't agree with you.

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Speaker 3: Still, that's where daught her being so frustrated every time

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Speaker 3: she tries to engage with this stime.

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Speaker 6: This is my identity, and if you don't support it,

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Speaker 6: it's an act of not loving still.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, like I love you except the major part

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Speaker 2: of your identity.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think, yeah, it's it's I see this

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Speaker 1: person trying to change, but they're so enveloped in like

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Speaker 1: their their religious views that it's really hard.

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Speaker 2: I think to step outside.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do recognize they're trying, so I don't

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Speaker 1: want to like spite someone for trying for sure.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Again, Like ideally Opie could talk like OPI probably doesn't

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Speaker 3: have anyone in their life naturally that could help them

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Speaker 3: walk walk them through, like what is the best way

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Speaker 3: to maybe I mean, uh, maybe sending a message to

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Speaker 3: the daughter possibly of like I want to learn. It's

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Speaker 3: not it's you know, not necessarily your job to educate me,

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Speaker 3: but like, if you're open and willing, I want to

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Speaker 3: hear from you everything I can do to be better.

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Speaker 1: And we actually have someone that we're going to call

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Speaker 1: in later. Medolo actually had a good experience with something

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Speaker 1: like this with coming out, so we'll chat on that

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Speaker 1: side a little bit. But updates. I posted about a

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Speaker 1: month ago about my relationship with my daughter. At the moment,

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Speaker 1: she will not talk to me at all, and she

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Speaker 1: has said she will never again. I admit my wrongdoings,

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Speaker 1: but what else can I do? How do I tell

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Speaker 1: my daughter she needs to stop posting about me online

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Speaker 1: and perpetuating the idea that I disowned her, which is

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Speaker 1: not what happened. I was not accepting when my daughter

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Speaker 1: came out as gay, but since then I have told

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Speaker 1: her numerous times that I still love her, even if

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Speaker 1: I don't agree with everything she does and have my

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Speaker 1: own religious.

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Speaker 2: Fleet always got to follow up back.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't change the fact that I'm her mother. Even

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Speaker 1: if she did something horrible and ended up in prison.

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Speaker 1: I would still be there.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, she's she's saying this is something horrible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like that's like not getting it. You know.

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Speaker 1: She has blocked me on everything, no longer talks to

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Speaker 1: her sister. She got married over the summer and did

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Speaker 1: not invite anyone. I found out from a friend who

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Speaker 1: is friends with her on Facebook. I wrote her a

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Speaker 1: letter with a gift card as a wedding gift and

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Speaker 1: sent it to her. Gave her five bucks and bed,

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Speaker 1: bath and beyond, and said, hey, you want to forgive

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Speaker 1: me for twenty years of not supporting or accepting you,

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Speaker 1: here's some bath saltsy, go.

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Speaker 2: Go crazy kid.

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Speaker 1: I offered to go to group therapy with her and

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Speaker 1: learn how I can better support her. The next week,

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Speaker 1: she called me for the first time in two years

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Speaker 1: and told me to leave her alone. Oh and not

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Speaker 1: to contact her again. Yeah, which I've respected. But she's

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Speaker 1: gone back to posting about how I disowned her and

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Speaker 1: don't accept her or her marriage. How many posts can

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Speaker 1: you make about that?

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Speaker 2: Probably a lot.

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Speaker 3: I mean we were just talking the other day about

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Speaker 3: how many times we want to post it today.

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Speaker 2: That's true, that's true.

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Speaker 1: Which is a lot, up to one hundred to one

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Speaker 1: hundred hosts a day. Is there anything I can do?

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Speaker 1: Just accept it. It hurts enough to not have a

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Speaker 1: relationship with her, but for her to continually say these

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Speaker 1: things about me that are not true. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be at her wedding. I was not given the chance

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Speaker 1: to be. And there is one more relevant comment before

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Speaker 1: we go into the update. But what do we think

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Speaker 1: about that update? Because we do have.

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Speaker 2: Another Yeah, couple more updates to go. Yeah, it's tough.

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Speaker 3: So now we are at the point where the daughter

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Speaker 3: is saying I don't.

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Speaker 2: Want basically stop harassing me.

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Speaker 3: Basically stop trying to reach out and contact me. And

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Speaker 3: I think we've seen kind of similar scenarios of like

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Speaker 3: people that are like how do I get through to

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Speaker 3: my adult children?

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Speaker 4: And low key it sucks, but you.

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Speaker 3: Kind of have to sit, wait and be ready and

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Speaker 3: give them their space in many in many cases and

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Speaker 3: stories that we've been before.

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Speaker 1: Right, that also fits for hunting advice, sit wait and

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Speaker 1: be ready and give them space.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't ready for that, but uh, yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 3: do you think there's anything different other than that.

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Speaker 4: That should be?

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Speaker 1: If that was giving, if I was giving Op advice,

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Speaker 1: I would say, go educate yourself first, because everything you

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Speaker 1: say is going to actually just pull put a deeper

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Speaker 1: wedge between you and your daughter, because even in your posts,

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing that you just have so much homophobia within

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Speaker 1: your religious context that like, hey, like there are people

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Speaker 1: that have that and people that live with that religious

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Speaker 1: context and that sucks for them. But like it's gonna

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be very hard for you to have relationship

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Speaker 1: with a gay person if you have that world view.

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Speaker 1: It's just that's just that's just gonna be really hard.

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Speaker 2: The next step is to truly learn.

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Speaker 3: Like it sounds like you say you you want to

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Speaker 3: do it seems like that is what Op actually does want.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know what. I think you should

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Speaker 1: go find a gay therapist. That's what I said earlier,

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Speaker 1: gay therapist, specifically a gay therapy.

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Speaker 4: I said, LGBTQ plus therapy.

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Speaker 2: That's roll the tape back. That is literally.

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Speaker 4: Exactly what I said at the very top of the story.

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Speaker 2: And I agree, Yes, what you're gonna crucify me?

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Speaker 4: No, No, just like John, that's literally what I said.

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Speaker 1: Yes, as John says in the words of John Banter, comprehension.

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Speaker 1: A therapist is l G B t Q, I A

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Speaker 1: two S to learn. I feel like plus, I got

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Speaker 1: all the letters right.

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Speaker 5: Well you added an S to S you.

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Speaker 1: Don't know about to us get freaking with the program.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you call yourself.

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Speaker 4: An ally two spirits? Bro?

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah yeah, correct, yes, good job, all right. I

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Speaker 5: didn't hear the two. I just heard S S and

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Speaker 5: I was like.

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Speaker 1: What, well, relevant comments common one. But you don't really

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Speaker 1: accept her. You love her even though you don't agree

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Speaker 1: with everything he does. You judge her, and you judge

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Speaker 1: her life. Sometimes love isn't enough. Maybe she's just tired

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Speaker 1: of constantly putting up with your judgment and comments. Then

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Speaker 1: you equate her being gay to something extreme, like her

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Speaker 1: ending up in prison. I get that you are making

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Speaker 1: extreme to say how much you love her, but you're

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Speaker 1: really saying her homosexuality is something within the same realm

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Speaker 1: as that love isn't enough. Sounds like your daughter needs

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Speaker 1: respect and acceptance, actual acceptance, not just tolerating who she is.

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Speaker 1: I give you a lot of props for willing to

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Speaker 1: go to group therapy to understand her more, but clearly

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Speaker 1: whatever happens before, she hasn't gotten over or forgiven you,

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Speaker 1: yet you don't get to demand forgiveness. And comment two says,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like she enjoys the attention she must be

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Speaker 1: getting playing the victim. You did your part, you tried

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Speaker 1: to make amends. So my advice to you is to

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Speaker 1: concentrate on your daughters that want to be with you

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Speaker 1: and don't lose them because of her.

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Speaker 5: WHOA, what a switch in the comments.

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Speaker 2: It's a weird comment.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't realize that there was other daughters in

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Speaker 3: the equation. Maybe that was mentioned somewhere in the comments,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, I think, yeah them, Yeah, what do we

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Speaker 3: think about that?

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Speaker 1: It sounds like she enjoys the attention she must be

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Speaker 1: getting playing the victim. I mean, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I necessarily agree with saying that. Yeah, but she is

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Speaker 1: posting about it a lot. I don't know if I would.

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Speaker 5: All we know is she posts about a lot. That's it.

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Speaker 5: I feel like there could be specific things.

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Speaker 2: That were maybe reasons that she's posting about it.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I mean, it's I mean, I do

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Speaker 3: think even if there is some some playing the victim

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Speaker 3: roll in it, I do get the sense that she

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Speaker 3: is while she is ignorant and continues to like make

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Speaker 3: make these comments that would be very hurtful and frustrating.

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Speaker 3: I believe she's like trying to like figure out her

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Speaker 3: under standards. She's probably like she probably feels like she's

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Speaker 3: exhausting all of her options of like she probably doesn't

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Speaker 3: have anyone in her life.

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Speaker 4: She's like what do I do now? Just kind of

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Speaker 4: like throwing stuff at the wall.

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Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, if you go through a ton of

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Speaker 1: trauma and you're trying to rally some support, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe that's what she needs right now. Know, Like maybe

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I feel like.

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Speaker 1: That's it's hard to say with the contexts, Like a

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Speaker 1: little bit of it feels a little harsh for what

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Speaker 1: we know because all we know is she's like made

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Speaker 1: posts about it.

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Speaker 2: I bet, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we would need more context, you know,

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Speaker 1: we need more context. But I don't even think it matters, honestly,

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Speaker 1: at least for Op's perspective. Actually, I don't even know

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Speaker 1: if I agree with a lot of this in here.

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Speaker 1: I think it was like if I was just to

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Speaker 1: give advice to Ope, it's educate yourself to try to

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Speaker 1: understand your daughter and give your daughter's space and then

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Speaker 1: focus on the things that you can't change. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: there is two more updates, So another update.

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Speaker 2: Hi there.

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Speaker 1: I'm a fifty seven year old woman who has been

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Speaker 1: a devout Catholic for my entire life. I was raised

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Speaker 1: in the church, so or my three daughters. None of

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Speaker 1: them ended up particularly religious, but my oldest daughter came

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Speaker 1: out as lesbian is now married. We are a strange

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Speaker 1: It is my fault. I did not accept or affirm her,

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Speaker 1: and I denied my wrongdoings for a long time and

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Speaker 1: justified it by using Catholicism. In the past few months,

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Speaker 1: I've been going to therapy and I've been going through

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Speaker 1: a crisis of faith and understand how I've hurt my daughter.

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Speaker 1: I've left the church and now see how it ruined everything.

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Speaker 1: I didn't see my daughter get married or graduate college

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Speaker 1: because I chose my faith and the church over her.

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Speaker 1: My priest told me I was making the right decision.

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Speaker 1: Is it too late to fix it? She has blocked

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Speaker 1: me on everything, lives three hours away and is incredibly

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Speaker 1: traumatized by how I treated her and refuse to accept it.

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Speaker 2: That's kind of growth.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty big event. That's kind of growth, I would say,

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Speaker 1: And like this is again, this is someone who has

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Speaker 1: been raised their entire life in the Catholic Church. That

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Speaker 1: is so much mental programming to overcome to get like

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Speaker 1: we have to have perspective here of like how much

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Speaker 1: it takes to get to this point. And I I think, honestly, yes,

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Speaker 1: it might be too late, but I think a change

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Speaker 1: like this is like kind of deserving of a like

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Speaker 1: good like good job.

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Speaker 2: Like you.

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Speaker 1: You really wrestled with this, and I think sounds like

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Speaker 1: she came out a little bit better thought.

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Speaker 3: It was really interesting too that the priest said that

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Speaker 3: she's making the right move, because it's like, at the

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Speaker 3: end of the day, like you lose your daughter over this.

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Speaker 1: You know that, Like this is this is why people

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Speaker 1: go to the internet to ask these questions. They're not

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Speaker 1: going to the internet to be called a terrible person

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Speaker 1: and just get hate. They're going to the internet ideally

356
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Speaker 1: to try to learn.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, some sort of guidance or of thing that they

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Speaker 3: have not seen or thought of yet exactly.

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Speaker 1: And that's what we're hoping to provide. But there is

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Speaker 1: one final update, hope juicy, So I have Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: I have stage four pancreatic cancer.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I was given a very grim prognosis and the statistics

364
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:56,160
Speaker 1: paint a very bad picture. I know you're going to

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Speaker 1: read my past post and tell me how horrible I

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Speaker 1: am and don't deserve my daughter to forgive. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to lie. My beliefs haven't changed, but I love

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Speaker 1: my daughter. I'm terrified I'm going to die without hugging

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Speaker 1: her or speaking to her one more time. I am

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Speaker 1: a grandmother now and I probably won't get to meet

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Speaker 1: my grandson before I die. My daughter knows about my diagnosis.

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Speaker 1: She's expressed she has no intentions of coming here or reconciling,

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Speaker 1: and it's told my sisters that she still doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to talk to me. What can I do? Is there

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Speaker 1: really no saving a relationship? Please help me. I'm not

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Speaker 1: giving up my faith or changing my beliefs, but I

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Speaker 1: will support and respect her family. Oh, so, is is

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Speaker 1: that last post just a lie?

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Speaker 4: I don't know, Yeah, that does.

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Speaker 2: I think the last post was a lie.

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Speaker 3: I mean, is she saying like she left the church

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Speaker 3: but still has her Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, I think that was a lie. I think she's like, no,

384
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Speaker 1: I'm not going to give my or maybe she was

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Speaker 1: wrestling with her faith and then she.

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Speaker 2: Just land back faith.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, growth gone, Yeah, that is a insane scenario.

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Speaker 1: Or if she lied about that last one? Is she

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Speaker 1: lying about this to get a way to see her daughter?

390
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Speaker 3: And I mean that's true, That is bananas And because

391
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Speaker 3: I mean also, like with these stories, we literally only

392
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Speaker 3: have the POV of the person talking. So what if

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Speaker 3: she did a lot more stuff like with the daughter,

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Speaker 3: and that's what which which would make sense? Like if

395
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Speaker 3: she treated the daughter way worse than she actually let on,

396
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Speaker 3: then it would make sense. Why the we've had We've

397
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Speaker 3: seen many scenarios where people go completely no contact with

398
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Speaker 3: their parents because.

399
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Speaker 4: All the horrendous things they do to them. So what

400
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,240
Speaker 4: if there was a bunch of friend of stuff that

401
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 4: we don't know?

402
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 1: Again, I think we might be dealing with an unreliable narrator. Yeah,

403
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 1: because I think the last one may have been a

404
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 1: little bit of BS potentially if we are to believe it,

405
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,720
Speaker 1: what happened is she was restling with her faith and

406
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Speaker 1: then decided no, I want to keep with my faith, yeah,

407
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 1: or like keep this belief that I don't think my

408
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Speaker 1: daughter is doing good by her decisions.

409
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Speaker 2: Or whatever I'm like wondering, is the daughter the a whole?

410
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 1: And for a moment, let's assume that everything that OPI

411
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Speaker 1: has said is true, and it's like she was not

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Speaker 1: accepting of her daughter's sexuality when she came out made

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Speaker 1: life difficult for her. But it wasn't like any like crazy,

414
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Speaker 1: crazy abuse. It was just a the classic religious family

415
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Speaker 1: member not accepting the spectrum of sexuality, which is still terrible.

416
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Speaker 2: Is there any ahlary to that the daughter has so

417
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 2: thinking through it?

418
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 4: I mean, ultimately, it's kind of like it's.

419
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Speaker 3: Kind of like we say with with relationships, where sometimes

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Speaker 3: it's like, oh, this couple has this like weird specific

421
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 3: thing that they do, But as long as both people

422
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Speaker 3: in the relationship are okay with that, then so so

423
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Speaker 3: be it. You know, like people who were probaly amaous

424
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 3: relationships people am not gonna relationships would never accept that.

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Speaker 1: Right.

426
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,960
Speaker 4: So at the end of the day, like OPI's daughter

427
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,159
Speaker 4: is entitled.

428
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 3: To move how she wants, right, maybe maybe I'll say,

429
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 3: like I'm and I can't really speak to this experience

430
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Speaker 3: at all whatsoever, but here I go, I feel like

431
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 3: I probably would have h maybe sat down or heard

432
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Speaker 3: her out.

433
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 4: More, which leads me to believe there's a lot there.

434
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 3: The unreliable narrator component that there was more like I

435
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 3: was also going to say too, Like I was like, Oh,

436
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,440
Speaker 3: is OP gonna ask the question should I reach out

437
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 3: to my daughter like one last time? And I would

438
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,880
Speaker 3: have said, yeah, I think like, if you know, don't

439
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 3: reach out, if you you're gonna die.

440
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 2: So it's like you know mine as well?

441
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I think I think I was gonna say, like,

442
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,879
Speaker 3: I think that's fair, like especially if we assume that

443
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 3: like when that when she said like, hey, don't contact

444
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,679
Speaker 3: me again, if she hadn't talked to her and she

445
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 3: just sent a message like hey, I have this prognosis.

446
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 3: I just wanted to tell you. I think that would

447
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 3: have been okay.

448
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 2: But uh, yeah, do you think the daughter is the

449
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 2: a hole at all? For anything? Do you.

450
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 4: Potato?

451
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

452
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 3: I think I think I think there is some a

453
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 3: holary or in the a whole spectrum. Possibly if we're

454
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,480
Speaker 3: if we're if we're, if we're taking Op completely at

455
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 3: her word, it seems like there could have been maybe

456
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 3: more of a chance to sit down. And it's also

457
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 3: never someone's job. I believe it's never someone's job.

458
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 4: To educate. It is on them to go and do

459
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 4: do the education.

460
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,479
Speaker 3: However, it does massively help expedite and aid in the

461
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 3: process of helping someone get there at the same times,

462
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 3: two sides of the same coin. And I do believe

463
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,439
Speaker 3: that ultimately the goal is to like bring people from

464
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,439
Speaker 3: a place where they're like not accepting and spreading uh

465
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 3: hate and other things and then bringing them to a

466
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 3: place where they're not doing that to hopefully avoid other

467
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 3: people from receiving it. So yeah, I think like maybe

468
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 3: could have sat down and hurt her out a bit

469
00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 3: more if especially again we don't know, don't really know.

470
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: How deep the abuse goes and if she I also

471
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: have to believe like if she's not willing to see

472
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: her mother on her deathbed, it probably goes pretty deep.

473
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 3: That's what I Yeah, I just I just have to

474
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 3: I mean, we've had a lot of ic to use

475
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 3: and conspiracy theories on the show that we are correct about.

476
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 3: So ah, yeah, this this it seems like there's a

477
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 3: lot more beneath the surface here.

478
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

479
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,199
Speaker 1: And I'm like, really like, I don't know if she

480
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: necessarily owes her that, like.

481
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 2: Like a daughter daughter owes op that.

482
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 1: I think you know, I'm not like LGPT maybe a

483
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 1: little by, but like I'm not like like I haven't

484
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: had to like confront that with my parents ever, and so.

485
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,119
Speaker 4: I haven't had a yeah go through that experience essentially.

486
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: No, No, but like I I would, I imagine, But

487
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 1: I also haven't had that kind of like abuse.

488
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I would.

489
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 2: I think maybe there's just so much trauma there that

490
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 2: it can't.

491
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 4: Be exactly exact.

492
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred, but I mean there were some comments

493
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: in Yeah, there's commons. Katie Lynn says, you don't deny

494
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 1: your deathbed parent for nothing. Even going no contact with

495
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 1: a parent is so hard because their main support for

496
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: most of your life before marrying to form new nuclear families.

497
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,360
Speaker 1: The blond One says she doesn't, but at the same time,

498
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 1: she's not innocent. She doesn't seem to be willing to

499
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: compromise or even fix anything. And if she's not, stop

500
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: posting about it and move on. Yeah, I do wonder

501
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,160
Speaker 1: about the posting. I feel like the constant posts and yeah,

502
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 1: I feel like the constant posting is like maybe not

503
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: the best move gave Elijah, said Sam she left the church,

504
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: but maintained the core values and beliefs. She's still homophobic,

505
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: which yeah, she is, Like, I think that's what we

506
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: kind of ended at the edge. She is she never

507
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 1: gave out the church. She is still homophobic and so

508
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: like there is no character development really, so why would

509
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: the daughter want to have any of that enter her

510
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: life again?

511
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 3: Gave Elijah says, as a queer, we don't abandon our

512
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 3: families easily.

513
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,479
Speaker 4: There is a reason.

514
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sophia Abdulah says, we're only getting a snippet of

515
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 1: the relationship and we don't know both sides, so I

516
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 1: can't make an.

517
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 2: Informed in judgment.

518
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 4: It's so hard to say truth.

519
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard. I mean this is this is a

520
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 1: I think it's like it's it's hard because we're getting

521
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: the perspective of a narrator that we might not be

522
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: able to trust and show signs of being untrustworthy. But uh, Wesphia,

523
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: what do you think?

524
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,680
Speaker 6: I agree kind of with everything that you guys are saying.

525
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 6: I think we Yeah, I don't think we know enough

526
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 6: of what the daughter. We only have what op said

527
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 6: the daughter did of like posting NonStop stuff. But I

528
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 6: definitely agree with who said that about we don't give

529
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 6: up Gabe Elijah. I. Yeah, family is so incredibly important

530
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 6: in almost you know, in most people's lives. It's the

531
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 6: first relationship that you have, uh, and I think to

532
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 6: give it up there's yeah.

533
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, but maybe we do a little poll just to

534
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: see what everyone thinks right now. Yeah, so maybe it's

535
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: should the should.

536
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 2: The daughter meet?

537
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 4: Should daughter meet with mom?

538
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 2: The daughter meets? Start poll? Do it? Yeah, we're getting

539
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff in the comments here.

540
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had to cut I had to cut off

541
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: my grandma for three years due to her behavior. Mm.

542
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 1: Peggy Slayers is I think she is more concerned with

543
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: how she now appears on social media than her daughter.

544
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 1: And that's why I think the daughter is doubling down

545
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: on making no contact. It feels like Op he is

546
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 1: more upset over that. That's actually super interesting, really good point.

547
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: That's because she so because the like OP keeps focusing

548
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: on the social media aspect.

549
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 3: And it's and it's kind of like, I mean, I

550
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 3: guess there was the the wedding was was this kind.

551
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: Of like point in it?

552
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 3: But where was this energy like before you know what

553
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 3: I mean, like, what what was the for it? Seems

554
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 3: like you kind of leaned in a lot more, and

555
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 3: maybe the spark was that you you don't want to be.

556
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to be seen as someone who

557
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: is terrible to their daughter. Not actually now it's changing

558
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 1: and your daughter knows this and is like, no, no,

559
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: you have been so horrible to me. I'm going to

560
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: expose how horrible you've been to the family. That's a

561
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: really good point me like, and it was focused on

562
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: multiple times too. It was focused on multiple times, so

563
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that kind of sounds like it was

564
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: it's legit, okay, So.

565
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 2: On the pool, what do we got via We've.

566
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 4: Got Wow, pretty split?

567
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: Should daughter meet op? No? Fifty eight percent, Yes, forty

568
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 2: one percent?

569
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 3: And I mean, I feel like the comments were reflecting

570
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 3: that where it's like, oh man, this is this is hard.

571
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 2: It would have been hard. It's your deathbed.

572
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 3: It's it's a deathbed, and like, how how much of

573
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 3: the mom do We really don't know, but it really

574
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 3: seems like there's a lot more under the surface than

575
00:25:59,200 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 3: was let on.

576
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: Like everyone is, like, you know, grieves and processes information

577
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: in the no way. My general philosophy though, is forgive

578
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 1: as much as possible. Yeah, and sometimes it's not possible,

579
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: but like, ideally forgive as much as much as possible,

580
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,959
Speaker 1: especially on a deathbed, because I understand not wanting someone

581
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 1: to be in your life if they can still actively

582
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: hurt you, you know, and that's like you don't want

583
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: to have that in your life. But if they're on

584
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 1: their deathbed, it's like they can't hurt you anymore, So

585
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: try to forgive them as much as you can.

586
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 3: This isn't a directly related to this experience, but I

587
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 3: have had someone close to me lose a parent and

588
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 3: tell me, like, I wish that I had sat down

589
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,959
Speaker 3: and just like talked and tried to rectify more, because

590
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 3: once you don't have that option anymore, then it's it's

591
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 3: a very different world.

592
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 2: I think.

593
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 1: And what I think, like one of the universal things

594
00:26:55,240 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: that I've heard just about death is I that exact thing, right, Yeah,

595
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: Like I wish I wish I could have forgiven more.

596
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: And that's not to say, uh that Opie's daughter should

597
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 3: do that, no, necessarily, but no, but.

598
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm like, I'm just like from our perspective,

599
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: like if if we you know, we don't know o

600
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: PE'SU or the daughter's experiences as deeply. But it's like

601
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: general philosophy, try to forgive as much.

602
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 2: As you can.

603
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not it's not an easy thing to justs

604
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: like instantly decide without all the information.

605
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 2: Just really it comes up to each person. But there

606
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 2: is more.

607
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: A comment to respond and says I did not read

608
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: your last post, but I am the gay child of

609
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 1: a Christian parent who did re engage after a stage

610
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: four cancer prognos.

611
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: Wow.

612
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: I came home, cook soup, listened to hours of sob

613
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: stories about cancer changing him and how he was sorry

614
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 1: and now we'd be different. I held his hand, prayed

615
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: with him. He acted like a scared puppy half the time,

616
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: and he was grumpy and hard to be with. Obviously,

617
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: he didn't feel good all through the cancer treatment. He

618
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: magically and with good nutrition, got better and we had

619
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: another year where he was and acted humbled. Then he

620
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 1: came back to his beliefs and made more comments. He

621
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: reverted in his beliefs and soon became snarky and opinionated

622
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,719
Speaker 1: with my children. We became estranged again. He's now a

623
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: life and health coach with a testimonial about how he

624
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 1: was so brave and motivated during his cancer treatment. He

625
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,719
Speaker 1: guides other people on living good, healthy lives that fight cancer.

626
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: He is such a disgusting fraud, and it makes me sick.

627
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 1: I wish I never went back when he had cancer.

628
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 2: He didn't change.

629
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 1: We haven't spoken in four years since the most peaceful

630
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: years of my life. I honestly wish I had left

631
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: him feeling guilty and sad as you seem to now,

632
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 1: instead of giving him my forgiveness during that time. Christians

633
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: do not change. They abuse us with their judgment until

634
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: they die. Leave your daughter alone. If you feel horrible

635
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: during this time in your life, it's only a percentage

636
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: of pain that you gave to your daughter who had

637
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: to mourn you already. Not be because you've died, because

638
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: the hope of a good relationship with you.

639
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 3: Has I'm not gonna lie. I'm kind of speechless. That is,

640
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 3: I don't even know who.

641
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, that is the exact position.

642
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 3: That is the insanely the exact same position went through

643
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 3: that the whole full cycle of that journey. Every once

644
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 3: in a while you hear a story that rendered like

645
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 3: what's the real question?

646
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 4: Who even knows anymore?

647
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

648
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 4: Renders you speechless.

649
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, super powerful.

650
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I mean just like some people don't change,

651
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: this is true, and it doesn't feel like op has changed.

652
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: I kind of said that, Yeah, and that was the

653
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 1: end of the story, right, that's the end. Yeah, I

654
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: still want to say, like, life is better when you

655
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: try to forgive, even in all cases.

656
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 6: I mean, the reason that commoner went back to their

657
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 6: dad was because of the hope that their dad would change,

658
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 6: because of the I had a desire to of relationship.

659
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 6: So I don't I don't think hope is a bad thing. Hope,

660
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 6: hope is I don't think hope is a bad thing. Yeah,

661
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 6: the hope to improve a relationship.

662
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder how ope, or I wonder how that

663
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: that commenter would have felt if they didn't go, Like

664
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: would the guilt be worse or.

665
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 5: Would the maybe not even the guilt per se, but

666
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 5: the not knowing.

667
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: The not knowing. Yeah, because at least with this, it's like.

668
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 4: There was a conclusive answer.

669
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

670
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: I actually kind of think that comment shows that you

671
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: should try to forgive and give people as many opportunities

672
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: as you can. And in the wake of that, like

673
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: you found out that they were just the same horrible

674
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: person that they were before and.

675
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 3: Now you Yeah, the thought process is like you're able

676
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 3: to find whatever the closure is, there is a certain

677
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 3: closure of like, Okay, I now know that going no

678
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 3: contact is actually the right decision. And now I've lived

679
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 3: these four years of no contact and it's been so

680
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 3: much better, and I know I should not. Yeah, but

681
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,719
Speaker 3: if I hadn't have done that, I wouldn't have had

682
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 3: the clue.

683
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: Exactly, yeah, exactly, Like that comment actually shows that you

684
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 1: in a weird way, like, yes, it turned out terribly,

685
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: but I read that and I think, oh, that person

686
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: went in, tried to forgive, didn't work.

687
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 2: Now they can live and peep.

688
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know.

689
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I don't think they made a mistake. It

690
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 6: was the dad's mistake, of course. Yeah, like the dad

691
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 6: made a horrible mistake, not a mistake. He just it

692
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 6: was horrible. But I don't think the desire to believe

693
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 6: the best in people is bad. No, sometimes it hurts

694
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 6: when you're they prove you, they prove to you that

695
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 6: they're not They don't deserve that.

696
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, but with that, if you love us, make

697
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: sure to subscribe we love you and see it tomorrow