WEBVTT - PROWESS AND PERSEVERANCE Part 1: 0:00:03.800 --> 0:00:13.760 Marine combat veteran amputee, sprinter Marathon or Mount Sineer. Quiante's 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:20.320 story is one impressive inspiring individual. I first met Kiante 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:23.400 when I had the honor of co hosting the Invictus Games. 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:28.200 That's the international competition founded by Prince Harry to showcase 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:32.320 warded warriors athletic skills and inspire recovery. Quiante told me 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:37.480 sports saved his life, gave him purpose and focus after 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:39.720 he lost his right lower leg in an I e 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:45.479 the explosion in Afghanistan. Being injured is honestly one of 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:47.400 the best things that's ever happened to me. I have 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.680 to be honest with that because I've done so much. 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:55.080 I've done so much in my life that I would 0:00:55.080 --> 0:01:04.319 have never thought was possible, and finding myself through these 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:11.800 challenges because of my injury, just to me, has made 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.480 me a better person. Yeah. I also discovered the power 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:19.600 of scaling peaks and a grueling climb of Antarctica's highest mountain, 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:24.199 Mount Vincent, sixteen thousand icy feet. I kept telling myself, 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.400 I was like, what do you what do we do? 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.760 And I'm like, well, we don't quit, so we're getting 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:32.160 to the summit. And the only thing I can do 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:35.800 is try to find motivation. And I always go back 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:37.480 to this because it makes me laugh. But I always 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:39.600 thought of my Marines because I had the Marine Corps 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:41.520 flag in my backpack, and that's what that was. Another 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:43.959 motivation of mine was getting that to the summit. But 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:46.560 I always thought about my Marines, how they would laugh 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:48.880 because I don't like cold, and being an African American, 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:51.480 like on the coldest mountain on the in the coldest 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:53.760 place on Earth. It was just like, oh, there's so 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:55.960 many jokes, so many jokes. I just kind of laughed 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:59.680 in my own head and just kind of took those 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.120 name names and the people that I remember who did 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:05.000 pass away and even to you know the names of 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.680 my friends that they're still alive, um, and kind of 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:10.000 just envisioned them like walking next to me or hiking 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:13.920 with me and we're just kind of like laughing, um. 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:19.200 And it it gave me that feeling of being back 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:23.519 during those hard times where like I would even question 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:24.960 in the Marine Corps like can I do this? And 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.320 I find my way to push through, And that was 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:30.639 my motivation was doing it for them, doing it for me. 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.560 But then also the other piece of that puzzle that 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:35.679 clicked as I was walking up there was like, I'm 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.440 doing this for other veterans who are wounded as well, 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:41.680 who are in the hospital, who didn't think that you 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:44.519 know who, who don't know what's beyond or what's the 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:50.160 episcope their limit. The transformation of Kyante is remarkable. He 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:53.040 never knew his biological parents, grew up in the foster 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:56.120 care system in California, was eventually raised by an older 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:59.040 second cousin whom he considered his mother. It was a 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.720 shy kid, bullied in school at a nineteen and he 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.720 was searching for identity. He joined the Marines. He wanted 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.760 to test himself in a war in Afghanistan, where he 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:13.560 faced a moment that could have meant the end. It 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:18.560 turned out to be just the beginning. I do want 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:22.440 to go back to the day that did not define you, 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:26.720 but certainly helped shape who you are, and that September seven, 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:33.040 We're in Afghanistan, third Battalion, seventh Marine. You're the team leader. 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:39.080 It's a patrol fighting the Taliban, and the task is 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.720 pretty normal for you, guys, it's too clear a building. 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.840 As the team leader, it's taking longer than you thought 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:51.800 it would you go inside to investigate, and a moment 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:55.280 happens that it does reshape at least your your near future. 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:57.880 Take us through that and then the aftermath of that, 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:01.240 of that explosion, my team is pretty much in the building. 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:05.400 I'm providing out of security at the time, and as 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:08.800 I wait for my team to kind of get worse 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.240 so we can figure out what we're doing next, I'm realizing, oh, 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.760 you know, we're in there for quite some time, and 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:18.080 to me, it was just like, well, we're not doing anything. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.280 We need to be doing something wise it taking so long. 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:24.080 So I repositioned my junior marine and I walked inside 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:27.599 like three steps, and like twelve other people are already 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.080 in this building, which is like a hallway, so it's 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:34.440 pretty narrow, and we work concerned about I E. D S. 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.560 But I'll be honest, at that time, my brain was 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:38.719 just like, you know, everyone walked in there. It should 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.680 be fine. It shouldn't be that. I didn't have to worry. 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:45.200 But I just happened to step on you know, maybe 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:49.000 the ground was I don't know, but I just happened 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:51.600 to take that right step and trigger that I d 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:54.680 that everyone walked over and it's sound of my right 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:59.080 leg below the knee. But in that instance, um, it 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:03.159 felt like I was hit by truck. Um. And you know, 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:07.200 I remember just being knocked down and dirt filling my ear, 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.000 which is what kept me conscious. And that was what 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.400 actually what pissed me off at the time, was just 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:13.880 having that dirt fall in my ear. I was just like, 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.720 oh my god, that's so annoying. But I'm laying on 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:18.800 the ground. I'm like, what just happened? Trying to figure 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:21.640 out what direction I'm oriented and I couldn't really tell. 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:23.480 I just knew that I'm on the ground on my 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:28.800 right side or so UM, and I'm trying to kick 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:31.880 push myself against the wall um because I know that 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:33.920 I'm in a hallway, so I know at least two 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:37.479 directions have at least one wall. UM, And I'm trying 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.440 to push myself against this wall. But my legs aren't 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:42.320 responding or they're not doing what I'm requesting on them. 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:45.120 So I'm initially assuming I'm a bye ladder im BT 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:49.200 And so that mom that fun comes into your moment 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:51.960 right there, there's the clarity you're kind of doing a 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.960 self diagnosis, and from almost the detached positions like he pactrically. 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.080 It sounds like it is because the way that my 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.680 I initially remember and how I feel like I was 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.160 trained to do was let me figure out what's going on. 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.960 So because I know we have a good corman, we 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.600 have a previous corman who's also down a marine with us, 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:14.200 So I knew once they got to me, if I 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:17.160 can give them, you know, my situation or sit rep 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:19.760 ab like what's going on with me, they can already 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.080 start the triage process and do what they need to 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:25.080 do while me remaining conscious and talking to them and 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.000 explaining like, hey, this is what I'm feeling this. You know, 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.000 they can do what they need to do. Um and 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.360 it's going to be an efficient process, a smooth process. 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:35.040 And I wasn't really concerned at all. I was just like, 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.240 they just need to get to me, and they're hopefully 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.719 no more I DS in the way. That's an amazing 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.640 thing that the brain is a powerful tool, and at 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:48.120 that moment, you're training kicks in the instincts you've been 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:51.680 trained to have kick in so that you're concerned for others, 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.039 but you're also able to kind of step back and 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.680 figure out what's going on with you. If I remain calm, 0:06:57.400 --> 0:07:00.799 my team remained calm and will be here in no time. 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:06.159 Your thoughts were for them, your thoughts were, and I 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:09.320 need to act a certain way so that they'll be 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:13.200 able to feed off of my calm, which is remarkable 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.040 for those of us that have not had that kind 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:18.480 of trauma to to have that presence of mind. Yeah, 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.320 I mean, I mean sometimes even see it in movies 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:23.600 or you see it in a situation where someone is 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:26.800 freaking out and everyone starts to freak out. Um, but 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:28.600 then you always have that one person that's trying to 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.960 remain calm or keep everyone calm. That's how I always 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:33.520 envisioned it, is like, if I start to freak out, 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:35.240 then everyone else is going to freak out around me 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:38.720 because they don't understand why I'm freaking out. Um, but 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:41.520 I think, I mean, that's just in my own mind, 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.400 But that's how I looked at it. Was. If I 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:47.960 say calm, they'll stay calm. Easy, you know, easy day. 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:51.720 The aftermath of this is powerful. So you you realize 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.520 that it's it's your right leg below your knee, it's 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:57.240 not both your legs, and now you're in the hospital 0:07:57.240 --> 0:08:02.440 and recovering. And in those hours and days just after 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.800 the incident, when you're sort of in a kind of shock, 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.400 what what is top of mind? What what are you 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.360 feeling at that point. Yeah, So I initially wake up 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:19.920 in the hospital and cambastion, and then I was flown 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:24.440 to Germany and then I winded up in um uh 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:30.280 but that's the hospital. H And at the time, my 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:34.559 my brain wasn't really concerned that I was missing a leg. Um. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:36.760 I actually didn't really care that I was missing a leg. 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:38.880 I actually really only cared about my guys that were 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:44.000 still there. And I I feel like, oh, why wouldn't 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.080 you care about your leg. It's like it didn't mean 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:50.160 at the time, it didn't mean. It didn't matter as 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:54.160 much as my guys did. And so, you know, I 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:56.280 laid in the hospital and then I realized, while you know, 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:58.400 I'm missing a leg, even if I could be in 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:00.719 the fight with them, you know, I I couldn't. I 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.680 just couldn't be there with them anymore if I wanted to. 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.200 And that's when I started to realize, Okay, you know 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.559 it stigned for recovery. Let's what do we gotta do next? 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:12.920 And that's when I started going through a little bit 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:14.520 of physical therapy. I think I had a you know, 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:17.280 a few more surgeries before I actually left Desta and 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:21.800 then flown to San Diego Naval Medical Center where I 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.720 did my physical therapy. For those of us that haven't served, 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:28.400 explain what it is about the power of the bond 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.640 with those brothers that made you more concerned about them 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.120 what they were going through your own condition, because people 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:39.640 listening to this will have a difficult time understanding that. Perhaps, Yeah, 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:45.400 so that bond is just you go through so many 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:53.320 annoying circumstances and situations, um from training to you know, 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:57.040 being up until you know, forty eight hours with each other, 0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:01.839 from hiking you know, any miles with heavy packs and rocks. 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.000 You you develop a bond of brotherhood with each other 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:09.720 because you're all suffering together. And when you're you know, overseas, 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:12.680 it's even closer because now there's no more distractions, there's 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:15.640 no more family, there's no more girlfriends, there's no more wives. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.760 It's just you and the people you've trained with for 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:22.640 hours and months and weeks and years, and so that 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:26.280 brotherhood becomes even closer. I mean, it's just like a 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:28.240 family like you have people in the family are just like, 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.080 oh my god, this person is so annoying. I cannot 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.240 stand talking to them. But you still love them. You'll 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.400 still do whatever you need for them if they act. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.319 And that's what it's like, um, when you develop such 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:42.000 a bottom with them, is that when you're overseas, that's 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.880 really who you care about is the people to your leptons. 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.440 You're right, you know, that's family. And then after that, 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:49.880 it's just all about getting everyone back home. You know, 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.280 you don't even work, you care about the mission, but 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:55.560 those are your those are your mission. That's your main mission, 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:58.320 is the do what you can to make sure they're safe. 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:00.480 They keep you safe when we get back him safe. 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:04.040 So as team leader, you're very concerned about your your 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:07.600 brothers and now you're a half a world away. M hm. 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.240 Did they come through it? Okay? Did you get any 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.640 other news that that that anyone else had been affected 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:17.720 in that? And that's a period of time. Um, yeah, Actually, uh, 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.000 when I was injured, there was no one else that 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.680 was injured around me at that time. So but as 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:28.080 I was still actually at but as the hospital, we 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:31.120 had what was it, three of my marines that I 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:35.000 was with actually come in. One was I think one 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.000 was hit by an I D. So he was peppered 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.640 all over the side of his body. Um. One guy 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:42.720 was shot in the neck and it missed the artery 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:44.520 or maybe it was some Yeah, I think he was. Yeah, 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:46.920 he was shot in the neck and he wasn't he came, 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:50.160 I believe so. And then I had another friend who 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.559 I was with as well, and he stepped on an 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:55.000 I D that half discharged so and I think it 0:11:55.280 --> 0:12:01.360 uh broke his calcaneers are his heel bone. Um. And 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.599 so he ended up getting that his leg amputea uh 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.240 leg amputated as well. Um. And so I was actually 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.960 with him, but he was injured in different you know, 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:13.520 weeks after I was you know, when I sat started 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.720 seeing them come in into the hospital, I was just like, well, 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:19.599 you know, I talked to him, they're doing okay, um, 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.120 and you know, it was just it was good to 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:24.400 see them, you know, it was good to see them 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.520 alive and well and okay. So that was that to 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:29.920 me made me happy. UM. And I didn't worry too 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.240 much about what if I could or couldn't do anything. 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.320 It was simply well, it's nothing for me to do 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:40.439 at this point except recovery. So now you're back in California, 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:42.880 you're beginning to recovery, beginning the journey that's gonna take 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:47.400 you to the top of mountains. But there's so many 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.319 steps along the way. Where was your head? What were 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:54.319 the days like? As it becomes a progression of appointments 0:12:55.240 --> 0:13:03.200 and patiently, methodically, slowly getting better, Um, it was, I 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:06.960 can admit to myself now, it was rough. Um, you know, 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:10.280 being in a wheelchair, not being able to get up 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:13.800 and walk, Um, go to my appointments was a task 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.800 in itself, and then sleeping was a whole another issue. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.920 But even as time progressed and I did get my prosthetic, 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:23.720 I was able to walk to my appointments. I was 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:27.319 always in pain. Um, you know, your your limb is 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:30.319 just you know, adapting to the external device that you're 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:36.000 using now. And but what really guides me was like 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.280 my mentality in my headspace, Like I was just in 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:43.079 a really dark place. I always described when I was recovering. 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.200 I always wore a mask, like most people would know 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.199 me being very I wouldn't say a beat but happy. 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.560 You know, for the most part, you wouldn't see me sad, 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.560 or depressed or kind of uh that I don't think 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.920 I looked bothered some but when I'm back in my room, 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.599 I was depressed. I questioned life, I questioned God, I 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.480 question my own existence. Um, what do I do next? 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:06.000 Where do I go from here? Because I wasn't planning 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:07.520 to be injured? And I feel like I was in 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:11.079 a whole new world that I needed to sort out 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.480 from my own existence and where do I go? And 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:17.559 why am I? You know, and and all these questions, um, 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:21.600 which flood my mind throughout the night, And you know, 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.360 it just I started to abuse my own pain medication 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.720 and it just got to a very point. And it 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:30.600 got to a point where I was just like, this 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:32.640 isn't me. This isn't the road that I want to 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.040 go down on. Um. I can easily go down that road, 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:40.360 but that's not that's not me, that's not who I am. 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.240 To get to that point, to you, when you to 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.560 get to the point where you decide it's it's not 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:49.960 you that you had that conversation in the mirror. What 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.320 what did you see in the mirror that led you 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:56.120 to deliver that harse message to yourself and try to 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:59.000 change the course. Right then, oh, I saw a weakness. 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:06.560 I just saw all. I saw a weaker version of 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:12.760 who I was, But it wasn't who I know I 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:17.440 could be. UM. I would even probably just described wounded 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.800 as well, like a wounded animal who was just trying 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:25.280 to survive. But if I allowed myself to continue licking 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.160 my wounds, I wouldn't get anywhere, you know, sitting in 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.760 my room warring, questioning, I was just like, I need 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:34.160 to be I need to start acting and not thinking 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:38.640 or worrying. I need to do something. And after I 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:42.040 you know, quit my payments called Turkey, I actually I 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.720 went and sought out how to travel UM and I 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:49.040 found the Parallelmpic Sports and that's what got me into 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:50.960 track UM and I was able to do that with 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:52.960 them probably about a month that I was. I was 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:56.440 happy that I made that decision because I don't know 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.080 what we're actually where I would be if I didn't 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:04.200 actually make that decision UM. But being there at that 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:08.280 Parallempic event months later was just like I was like, 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:10.080 this is this is where I need to be, this 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:12.280 is what I wanted to do, and I just kept 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.800 kind of going after it. After that, the decision to 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:20.040 first of all recognized the weakness, name it, confront it, 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:23.840 and then go off for medications cold turkey. You say 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:25.840 that like it's just a decision that you make and 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:29.440 it's easily accomplished. Man, that had to be incredibly difficult. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:33.480 These are these are powerful medications that are dealing with 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.960 pain and also perhaps psychological issues that you just said 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:39.920 enough for that, I'm not going to take them? Yeah, 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:45.000 I mean, how what would that? What was that like? Um? 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:48.600 I mean I didn't even know the definition of addiction, 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.680 so I probably I probably went through those moments of 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:56.840 whatever someone who is addicted to something goes through. Um, 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.680 I could be wrong. I really can't recall that that phase. 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:06.040 I just knew. I just know that it was inhibiting 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:09.360 my way of thinking. And that's why I used them. 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.080 That's why I kept taking them because I didn't want 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:16.080 to think. I didn't want to feel, and that's what 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.840 those did, a numbine further than what I was already 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:23.320 numb too. And once I quit, it was able. I 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:26.800 was able to confront my own demons, confront my arms, 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:30.600 my own situation, and look at life. It's like I'm 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.240 in charge of my own life. I need to make 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:36.879 these decisions and truly view them as they are. You know, 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.000 it's not gonna just up and disappear and go away. 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:41.720 And I'm not going to be in a situation anymore 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.320 if I you know, I'm I'm choosing to be here, 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.159 and so I need to make a different choice, to 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:50.560 go a different direction. So you find yourself a Paralympic camp. 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.560 We talked before. You were not exactly a a track 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.879 star before serving in the rings. You were not exactly 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.720 a well run an athlete, were not captain of three 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.520 different teams in high school? How how did you connect 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:06.199 with this group of Paralympic athletes and sports in general 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.879 as terms? This is going to be a really crucial 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.399 part of my journey backs where I want to be. 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:14.520 What was that like lightbulb moment when you realize this 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:16.520 is something for me, This could be something even though 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:18.920 I'm not returning to the past. This is a whole 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:22.480 new page for me. Yeah. Um, it's funny because yeah, 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:24.320 I didn't. I didn't grow up as an athlete by 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.359 any means. I didn't play any high school sports. I 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:28.919 played basketball with friends, played football with friends. But this 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:30.920 is all out of part. You know, I wasn't really 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:35.520 part of a team until the Marine Corps, but getting 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:41.200 into the Paralympic sports, it reminded me of that camaraderie 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.760 that I had with my Marines, of your your training 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.360 and you're working to accomplish the same goal, but individually, 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:52.560 you know, and so that competition, that edge. I still 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:56.400 wanted to compete against other people, and I found myself 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:59.879 by chance and track. And so when I do this, 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.400 when I did this Paralympic event, I was running if 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:05.160 I did my first this is my first hundred uh 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:08.400 sprint I've ever done, and I'm running on in normal 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:10.320 you know, my normal walking, like I didn't have a 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:12.679 sprinting leg yet. And I do the event and I 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:15.800 think I get like a fifteen something whatever hundred meters 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:17.920 and I'm just like or maybe sixteen something hundred meters 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:19.800 and I was just like, oh god, that's so slow. 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.960 That's so sad. You know. I'm I'm hard on myself. 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:24.880 And then you know, you get a medal and they're 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.119 just like, oh, good job, you made number one or whatever, 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:29.600 and I'm like, as you know, I'm just gonna throw 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:31.919 this in the trash anyways, Like I don't want this medal. 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:34.840 Um I don't feel like I really was fast enough. 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:39.240 But I was recognized by one of the Paralympic head 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.960 coaches at that event and they're like do you And 0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:45.080 she approached me and she said do you have a 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:47.359 sprinting leg? And I was like no, not. Yeah. She's like, 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:49.439 you should get one and you should look into it. 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:52.959 You have a lot of potential. And I was just 0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:57.560 like what, you know, I'm kind of dumbfounded. And she's like, yeah, 0:19:57.600 --> 0:20:00.439 you know, her name was Kathy uh. Her last name 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:02.680 is Cathy Sellers. But I couldn't grow but I remember 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:05.840 her name of being Cafe and you know, but for 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:08.480 someone to approach me and say, you have potential to 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:11.680 be good in this sport kind of baped me because 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:14.160 I didn't feel like I was good in that sport 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:16.199 at all, Like that wasn't something I was even I 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.960 really wanted to be a snowboarder, believe it or not. 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:24.280 But you know, to have someone when you're going, when 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:27.560 you're just really getting into something, say you have potential 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:31.960 to be great at this. It really I really took 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:35.159 it and ran with it, literally, and you know, I 0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:38.520 talked to my physical therapist, I talked to my process processes. 0:20:38.800 --> 0:20:40.920 I happened to find it, have a coach like right 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:45.239 next to me at the hospital, and pursued track UM 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:48.480 for four years, five years trying to make the Paralympics, 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:52.080 and every year I made it to Nashals. But I 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:55.680 never made it to the Paralympics UM, which was very, very, 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:57.919 very sad because I really worked hard. But at the 0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:00.960 same time I realized, and this is little bit in hindsight, 0:21:01.359 --> 0:21:04.520 is that I also wanted to do other different things. 0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:06.919 I was happy to be able to be as active 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:10.040 as I was, so I didn't just run track. I 0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:16.000 did marathons, climbing, all other things. So it wasn't it 0:21:16.080 --> 0:21:18.000 was it was it was an outlet. It was a 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:21.199 way to have a more complete life. This was not 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.840 an obsession. You were not concerned about the results. You're 0:21:23.840 --> 0:21:27.000 not concerned about the medals at the top of the podium. Yeah, 0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:29.639 not compared to other athletes that I was next to. 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.720 What which That's where their mind was. Their mind was 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:37.199 metal podium. I was just happy to be there. I 0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:40.600 was happy to train and you know, compete against and 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:44.800 with the greatest you know, Paralympic athletes, uh up to date, 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:48.200 you know, so to So to me, I accomplished a lot, 0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:50.320 and I was just like, oh, you know, like you know, 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:53.320 all of them would talk about oh, you know, you 0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:58.359 know or you know, twenty twelve Paralympics, and I was 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.840 just like, oh, okay, that's cool, there's there. They were 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:03.480 super excited about it. But I had never and again 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:06.359 this is in hindst. I I never really was just like, 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.119 oh my god, I'm gonna met I'm gonna podium. It 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:10.440