Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we're back. UM. I wanted to give space, uh
Speaker 1: for the experience of on site UM and I want
Speaker 1: I wanted to bring UM this again to you guys.
Speaker 1: This is the second half of the interview that we
Speaker 1: did with Miles, and I just think it's UM. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm excited for you guys to hear the second part
Speaker 1: of this and UM getting the mindset and here you are,
Speaker 1: here's the second half. So what are the programs because
Speaker 1: I know there's the Living Centered, UM, I know the
Speaker 1: one that I did, the Learning to Love Yourself has
Speaker 1: now become healing, love and relationships, right, which is kind
Speaker 1: of what I came in on with a group setting,
Speaker 1: even though I was I was intensive. But and then
Speaker 1: you have what are the other programs? You have? Living
Speaker 1: Centers your most most popular one. That's the one I
Speaker 1: would want you to do, Cat and you too, well,
Speaker 1: I personally for me when I was talking to Miles, like,
Speaker 1: I again, I've I've I've gone through the similar Living
Speaker 1: Centered in the you know, learning to Love Yourself was
Speaker 1: kind of like there was there was models from from that.
Speaker 1: But if you don't know again, miles. Please correct me
Speaker 1: if I'm wrong. But what I've kind of told my
Speaker 1: friends is like, if you if you know your childhood
Speaker 1: traumas and the things and all of that. Um, I
Speaker 1: think in an individual for me was what I needed
Speaker 1: because I wanted to pin I wanted to dig deeper
Speaker 1: and some of the things that I already knew, which
Speaker 1: is why I thought an individual would work better for me.
Speaker 1: But if you don't really know certain things I don't know,
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. You're you're the you do
Speaker 1: you tell us which one is best for people. We've
Speaker 1: got we've got a menu programs, and we've we've narrowed
Speaker 1: the focus a little bit over the last couple of
Speaker 1: years just because it's supply and demand. We've just got
Speaker 1: such high demand right now, and we want to make
Speaker 1: sure what we pull off we pull off really well.
Speaker 1: And I want to preserve our staff so that we
Speaker 1: don't create some of the burnout that we see in
Speaker 1: the people we support, even though it's been hard last
Speaker 1: two years because everybody in my profession has been churning
Speaker 1: really hard. But uh, we've narrowed our focus. I stepped
Speaker 1: out of day to day about a year ago. I
Speaker 1: think I was telling you this, Janna when we were
Speaker 1: checking in, so that I could step into our our
Speaker 1: holding company and our foundation and run both of those
Speaker 1: with a lot of new initiatives that we're building in
Speaker 1: a five year plan to really scale up our programming,
Speaker 1: so I'm not as familiar with which ones were actually running.
Speaker 1: But there are the staples like learning our Living Centered program,
Speaker 1: which is kind of a flagship program that we're known for.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a five day catch all that anybody
Speaker 1: going through any type of adversity, stress, transition, or just
Speaker 1: looking for deeper insight. Uh, It's a great place to start.
Speaker 1: I recommend it too, is a first step. Uh. There
Speaker 1: is also Healing Trauma Program, which is a five day
Speaker 1: trauma immersive group experience. It's also really powerful and sometimes
Speaker 1: that's a better fit upfront. There's Love and Relationship program,
Speaker 1: which Jenna talked about, which is another really good and
Speaker 1: then we do a lot of customized individual, couple, family
Speaker 1: type stuff, but usually an assessment would help lay out
Speaker 1: the best need in your case, Janet, we were talking
Speaker 1: about in occasionally, if somebody follows up after they've done
Speaker 1: a couple of group programs, you can really get laser
Speaker 1: focused with an individual, but you'll miss a lot of
Speaker 1: the other dynamics that the education. So I like it
Speaker 1: as a follow up. But often if if somebody is
Speaker 1: really public and what they do, uh, and I feel
Speaker 1: like because they might have been through a press cycle,
Speaker 1: uh that and I really want to get the eyes
Speaker 1: off of them, then I'll I'll suggest an individual just
Speaker 1: to insulate them a little bit more. But I've also
Speaker 1: put public people in groups and and done really well
Speaker 1: as well. So I don't know if that helped or
Speaker 1: confuse you more, But really the best step is get online,
Speaker 1: read about some of our programs, see if anything kinda
Speaker 1: feels relatable, and then let me get you on a
Speaker 1: call with a trusted voice on our end to help
Speaker 1: walk you through the process of assessing and figure out
Speaker 1: how we could guide you in the right spot. That's great,
Speaker 1: so good, so good you guys. Okay, so I have
Speaker 1: done like the pre call with your staff to get
Speaker 1: Preston and I this I'm telling you, like, we were
Speaker 1: just so close. It was right down. Yeah, it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's so much miles much time, do you
Speaker 1: but um, it's all good. It's just that I worked
Speaker 1: on the record label side of things. I married an artist,
Speaker 1: which is something I said I would never ever do,
Speaker 1: and it was all fast and it was all great,
Speaker 1: but you know, I had a previous marriage before, and
Speaker 1: so like when you speak of like this, the net
Speaker 1: of having some of the fallout when when you're going
Speaker 1: through divorce, like the net is crucial. So I just
Speaker 1: want to echo that one more time. But when your
Speaker 1: staff and I talked on the phone, and I'm very
Speaker 1: open to therapy, but I was a little intimidated because
Speaker 1: I felt like, this is we're talking the first I
Speaker 1: think the offer came in first, probably why I was
Speaker 1: like even pregnant with my little boys. So we're talking
Speaker 1: like four years ago, um, And I felt like now
Speaker 1: it's gained such a good steam that so many people
Speaker 1: recognize it as a place to go, like I have
Speaker 1: never saw on site is something that's intimidating, but my
Speaker 1: husband does and I've always seen it's like, first of all,
Speaker 1: you have at five minute drive, and just the idea
Speaker 1: of driving to open space does something for me in
Speaker 1: my Michigan heart. Probably I know, um, but your staff
Speaker 1: are so professional and so sweet, and just the questions
Speaker 1: they went through on the phone with me, just everything
Speaker 1: is so comfortable. You just make it feel safe from
Speaker 1: like the first call, which I think just really matters.
Speaker 1: I mean, you talk about the insulation, but the insulation
Speaker 1: for me starts with how private it is, how it
Speaker 1: felt very like you know, they didn't really no one
Speaker 1: was asking me who Preston was or who I was.
Speaker 1: It was more so like, Okay, so this is what
Speaker 1: we're doing, and this is what you want to focus on.
Speaker 1: It was just it's really a beautiful community of people
Speaker 1: you have there. So then what would it take for Preston,
Speaker 1: Like what do you think there's something that like I
Speaker 1: think now so he's with both of you know, Brian
Speaker 1: Kelly and Tyler Hubbard and Tyler Hubbard. Both Brian and
Speaker 1: Tyler have been very open. Those are the Florida Georgia
Speaker 1: line guys for those that don't know country music. Um,
Speaker 1: they've been very open about the benefits of on site.
Speaker 1: And so I think now having that he's willing to go,
Speaker 1: I would say, we're in a two thousand nineteen pace
Speaker 1: right now, So I don't know that like it would
Speaker 1: be the time for us is probably going to be
Speaker 1: this winter, but I would love for us to go again.
Speaker 1: I feel like we're at a better place as a
Speaker 1: couple to actually hear each other. We work with Chad
Speaker 1: at Porter's Call pretty intimately, and so I think his
Speaker 1: view now of therapy has like this healthier and like
Speaker 1: a more safe feeling for him. I mean, we can't
Speaker 1: be married without Chad. I'm pretty public about that, so
Speaker 1: I tell everyone Chad's coming to our anniversary dinner every
Speaker 1: year because he's our guy. But I think I just
Speaker 1: think the way that your people that love and support you,
Speaker 1: um Miles and on site are just so open about
Speaker 1: what it's done. And I've seen in insane change in
Speaker 1: Janna since this last on site, and I've said that
Speaker 1: to her, like there is there's just a difference. It's
Speaker 1: a really special difference progress and not that I'm the
Speaker 1: judge of progress look at but it's just a different
Speaker 1: certainty about her. There's a different knowing of who she
Speaker 1: really is, not like what she's supposed to be. I
Speaker 1: can't look at he right now, We'll both start crying.
Speaker 1: But it's I've seen what you guys have done for people,
Speaker 1: and it just it matters. Would you be open to
Speaker 1: sharing that weatherr how I'm curious to hear it. But
Speaker 1: I think it might even be better if you just
Speaker 1: told her. I have told her, Um, I think for both, well,
Speaker 1: here we go. I'm going to enroll with myself. No,
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm not ready for this. Today
Speaker 1: we both have felt like lost girls. I think a
Speaker 1: lot we have I need to like lock it up.
Speaker 1: I'm also not a pretty crier. I told the girl.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not a pretty crier. Some of
Speaker 1: us look like cartoons. And I was like, I'm in
Speaker 1: a medical emergency. But um, I told her, I think
Speaker 1: like Janna and I had bonded over the fact that
Speaker 1: like we have missed the Michigan versions of ourselves, like
Speaker 1: the simplified like small town, and this Nashville life has
Speaker 1: or industry life has a way of like kind of
Speaker 1: sneakily robbing that from you. And so the biggest thing
Speaker 1: I think I've seen and it was kind of ironic
Speaker 1: because I had found these really super cute Michigan sweatshirts
Speaker 1: for us, and it was ironic because it was after
Speaker 1: she got back, But it was almost like a reminder
Speaker 1: to both of us to just stay true to the
Speaker 1: heart of it. I think, But I feel like I've
Speaker 1: seen more of that girl in Janna over the last
Speaker 1: month or so than ever and just a lessoned control,
Speaker 1: which I think the whole church that aim in um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like I've just seen the less anxious version
Speaker 1: and I want to touch your hair, but you just
Speaker 1: washed it. I want. Yeah, thanks for sharing that. That's uh.
Speaker 1: I think it's it's one of the most And look,
Speaker 1: I know we've we've talked a lot about on site here,
Speaker 1: which I'm thankful for because I really believe in the mission. However,
Speaker 1: it's it's bigger than one one place or one program.
Speaker 1: The conversation I hope is encouraging not only for the
Speaker 1: four of us that are here in it, but that
Speaker 1: it would ripple out. And just because if you strip back,
Speaker 1: you know, what do you guys do really at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, We help people say the unset
Speaker 1: and speak truth into themselves and into the people they
Speaker 1: care about. And you just did that in a beautiful way.
Speaker 1: And I think our in our you know, we're culturally
Speaker 1: conditioned not to do that because we think we have
Speaker 1: to look and feel a certain way. And uh, I
Speaker 1: like breaking cultural norms, especially on behalf of pouring some
Speaker 1: empathy into each other's hearts because right now there's a
Speaker 1: there's a real void of that as you know out
Speaker 1: in culture. And you mentioned you know the stress of
Speaker 1: kind of being in your profession and and I don't
Speaker 1: know if I've shared this with I don't I've shared
Speaker 1: it with Jenna before, but kind of this artist or
Speaker 1: creative's dilemma. And I've worked with a lot of artists
Speaker 1: in all genres with this model, but now I'm seeing
Speaker 1: it's very prevalent to you for those that are with
Speaker 1: the artist or you know, spouses of artists or in
Speaker 1: the artist camp because you know you're you're in that
Speaker 1: environment to do right. I mean, it's like a not
Speaker 1: what I would have signed up for for myself, right
Speaker 1: and it very quickly it's you know, the artists or
Speaker 1: creatives dilemma would go that public professions they create abnormal
Speaker 1: life circumstance is and we could take a panel right
Speaker 1: now and say what's abnormal about being public or or
Speaker 1: building a platform to distribute art? And there's a lot
Speaker 1: from the pace, uh you know, to um always being
Speaker 1: always having to be, on being public, on and on
Speaker 1: and on. Public professions create abnormal life circumstances we know
Speaker 1: from our space and the Human Service Bus. Instead, abnormal
Speaker 1: life circumstances create high levels of stress. We also know
Speaker 1: that unaddressed stress creates anxiety, depression, uh strained relationships, addictions, etcetera. Ironically,
Speaker 1: all of which kill creativity and connection. So the two
Speaker 1: of the big attributes that bring people to the dance
Speaker 1: and the music space are their creativity and their ability
Speaker 1: to connect. That's usually what gets you up in the morning,
Speaker 1: keeps you up at night. And you're signing up for
Speaker 1: a career that, if commercially successful, was designed to kill it,
Speaker 1: and it's really interesting. Usually people lean forward and they're like, well,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, and but there's good news too. It's
Speaker 1: not just daunting. It's just that most of the people
Speaker 1: behind the career aren't going to tell you that up
Speaker 1: front or just before they invest in launching you out
Speaker 1: of a canyon to phone you out on radio tour
Speaker 1: of the single without spending and investing some time saying hey,
Speaker 1: this is not just possible, it's probable, but there is
Speaker 1: something we can do about it. You know, if you
Speaker 1: know this, it goes from obstacle to opportunity. If we
Speaker 1: can educate and inform me up front. Then you can
Speaker 1: actually have a successful, sustainable career in a fast paced,
Speaker 1: stressful environment and have yourself to show at the end
Speaker 1: of it, not this personality you've created. And that's the
Speaker 1: goal I think for any of us that do public
Speaker 1: facing stuff. Where do you find yourself struggling because you
Speaker 1: are so public? And um, what's what's the thing that
Speaker 1: um you kind of see yourself revisiting a lot? Well,
Speaker 1: this last two years, I've really done some deep reflection
Speaker 1: on just that because I I made a choice. You know,
Speaker 1: I think probably back when I met you, I had
Speaker 1: not made the choice yet to be public in my profession.
Speaker 1: I was still felt like my best role as an
Speaker 1: advocate for mental wellness emotional health is to be behind
Speaker 1: the curtain. And uh, you know, finally I started doing
Speaker 1: a lot of media back in the day, and I
Speaker 1: saw this this dangerous but enlightening intersection of mental health
Speaker 1: and media where I would get some critique, you know,
Speaker 1: if I got if I went on The Doctors or
Speaker 1: Doctor Feel or any of these shows, and I'd get
Speaker 1: some critique from my space because they'd be like, you
Speaker 1: can't go on and talk about our work. It kind
Speaker 1: of exploits it. And I said, well, if we don't
Speaker 1: exploit it in a positive way, then we're going to
Speaker 1: continue to complain about the stigma that those in our industry,
Speaker 1: we're the one creating it because we box in our information.
Speaker 1: We've got to figure out a way to get this
Speaker 1: message out here in a better way. So I made
Speaker 1: that choice Jenna back then that I'm gonna try this.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be messy at times, but I'm gonna start
Speaker 1: doing media. And you know, I flew out to l
Speaker 1: A And did a show for a year, hosted a
Speaker 1: show myself for Fox, and really learned a lot. But
Speaker 1: the more public I got, the more uh, it got
Speaker 1: really hard to practice a lot of what I've been preaching,
Speaker 1: so everything I've been saying and testing theories for public personalities.
Speaker 1: When it got really close to home, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: this is harder than I ever imagine. Now. The beauty
Speaker 1: is that it was humbling, uh And I'm not Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, my my goal is not necessarily to be
Speaker 1: public too as for my job, because I've got a job,
Speaker 1: and but but I've noticed that if I do put
Speaker 1: myself out there, more people typically get encouraged or get
Speaker 1: access to care. So I'm willing to go along for
Speaker 1: that ride and getting ready to finish a book and
Speaker 1: do stuff like that so I know more of its coming.
Speaker 1: But I've really, uh, I really struggled to um manage
Speaker 1: the pace because I'm guilty of when I feel stress
Speaker 1: instead of if I put things down, I'll pick up
Speaker 1: more than I'm putting down as a stress response. So
Speaker 1: I found myself, uh, Janna, to answer your question over
Speaker 1: working a little bit like during the pandemic, when I
Speaker 1: had an opportunity to come home because we had to
Speaker 1: shut things down. I I've wanted that for a long time,
Speaker 1: to be home and be present and not have responsibility.
Speaker 1: But I had this stress of like I gotta keep
Speaker 1: eighty people employed with no income, and I wanted I
Speaker 1: was determined to do it, and there was nothing I
Speaker 1: could do at that time other than do what everybody
Speaker 1: else did, which is less waited out and see what happens.
Speaker 1: But I generated all this activity and got myself busier
Speaker 1: than I was pre pandemic, and I thought, this is
Speaker 1: a full stress response, and what does it do to me?
Speaker 1: It invades my marriage, um, it impacts me as a father, UM,
Speaker 1: it it gets me back in that space of survival,
Speaker 1: which you know, we can get into my story a lot,
Speaker 1: but that's where I started. I came from a really great,
Speaker 1: well intended family that wasn't perfect, and we did a
Speaker 1: lot of things well, but we didn't do emotion. And
Speaker 1: and you know, I would say we were kind of
Speaker 1: illiterate and around the emotional piece. But I'm so thankful
Speaker 1: for the other parts. And now full circle, you know,
Speaker 1: we've my parents are doing their best parenting now in
Speaker 1: their seventies. It's remarkable how they're showing up because they
Speaker 1: tap into that emotional piece. Yeah they've done they've gone
Speaker 1: and done smon size stuff and um. But you know, anyway,
Speaker 1: I went on a rent there. When he said what's
Speaker 1: going on? I said a lot. You're sure you got
Speaker 1: time for this, but I I when when I go
Speaker 1: into that stress response, my immediate is to shut down emotion.
Speaker 1: And you don't really get an integrated version of me. Uh,
Speaker 1: you get this stoic, disconnected version of me. And my
Speaker 1: wife's got a really good radar for it. She knows
Speaker 1: when that guy shows up at home versus the present.
Speaker 1: You know, Dad and I would say I've done more
Speaker 1: of that in the last two or three years, and
Speaker 1: I'm proud of and it's created, and it's created quite
Speaker 1: a bit of distraction in my life. I lost a
Speaker 1: little focus for it, lost sleep over it. Now here's
Speaker 1: the good news is Um, you know it's not I
Speaker 1: say this all the time in our space. Carlos, a
Speaker 1: guy that works for says it all the time. It's
Speaker 1: it's not about the rip. It's really about the repair.
Speaker 1: And so when that comes to relationships and how you
Speaker 1: pursue you will never do this perfectly like people sometimes think.
Speaker 1: Because I work in this space, I'm armed with all
Speaker 1: these tools and I must live this perfectly congruent life.
Speaker 1: And some days, yes, but some days I'm just a
Speaker 1: hot mess, just like everybody else. And but I'm I'm
Speaker 1: a hot mess that has tools and and and the
Speaker 1: lag time between how long I'll let life run me
Speaker 1: versus me reclaiming my life has short has gone from
Speaker 1: this to this over the years. So when I do
Speaker 1: have a setback, Um, it doesn't take me three months
Speaker 1: to notice it. It takes me like three days and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I better double down, We better do
Speaker 1: a little work around this, or else it could get
Speaker 1: it could get really really tough. That's going to my
Speaker 1: new Instagram handle, hot Mess with Tools, my new dating
Speaker 1: dating profile, hot Mess with the Duels hot Mess No.
Speaker 1: I love I love what you said though, and I
Speaker 1: think it's um yeah, I think that's beautiful. And I
Speaker 1: love the family system in that too, and how you
Speaker 1: know you were raised in something and then you know
Speaker 1: your parents, you're you're able to see, you know, the
Speaker 1: version that you've kind of always wanted. And then but
Speaker 1: you also see how why you were the way that
Speaker 1: you were because your parents weren't emotional and you didn't
Speaker 1: talk about emotions. And I know Catherine is connecting. I
Speaker 1: kind of looked at you when he said that because
Speaker 1: it's like that's you know, and and to see maybe
Speaker 1: what your kids will have experience like with Myles experienced
Speaker 1: as a kid. It was actually huge to hear because
Speaker 1: like that's what gets me. It's like being the parent,
Speaker 1: like doing that again, like to my kids, that's what
Speaker 1: will make me cry. So that is probably why I
Speaker 1: will end up in on site. But you know, but
Speaker 1: what a gift you'll give to so that way, I mean, Miles,
Speaker 1: you know, he was in that home and it's like
Speaker 1: hearing that, like what it can be like to not
Speaker 1: have that emotion and talk about it that's affected certain things,
Speaker 1: And like, I'm shocked to hear that about you, like
Speaker 1: that you come from a home that doesn't talk about emotions,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, it's it's good to hear that, though,
Speaker 1: because I'm just used to people like me that still
Speaker 1: don't really like to talk about emotions. You know, they
Speaker 1: grew up that way. So I think it's more common
Speaker 1: than you think. I mean, i'd honestly say that's why
Speaker 1: my husband's probably was intimidated at first, I see. And
Speaker 1: that's why I say I joke around a lot like
Speaker 1: that I'm was the guy in the relationship. It's really
Speaker 1: just because I feel like I find more men that
Speaker 1: are that way they don't like to talk about their emotions.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I'm finding a lot more women too,
Speaker 1: But that's kind of like the more common thing for sure.
Speaker 1: I think something you guys do really special, Miles, is
Speaker 1: you also just provide like the gift of time to
Speaker 1: people at on site. And that's one thing I just
Speaker 1: wanted to like make sure I pointed out, because I
Speaker 1: think this world is first of all, we like opened
Speaker 1: back up, and we like quadruple booked ourselves, which is
Speaker 1: the burnout and in the exhaustion, and all of us
Speaker 1: are in this like twenty nineteen pace with you know,
Speaker 1: are in mind. But when you gift people time with themselves,
Speaker 1: that's why it's never been intimidating. I guess to me
Speaker 1: is just because I'm like, oh gosh, what I wouldn't
Speaker 1: give for someone to just actually protect my own time
Speaker 1: with myself is how I've always envisioned on site. Well,
Speaker 1: that's why I love the The first day of not
Speaker 1: having any phone or it was very hard to give
Speaker 1: that up because what do you what do I do
Speaker 1: at night when I go to my Instagram or I
Speaker 1: scroll or I text you guys or anyan us, Like
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous. It's like a long time. Well I know,
Speaker 1: and this is like that's you know. That was my
Speaker 1: way of you know, coping with maybe anxiety or coping
Speaker 1: with um my loneliness, or coping with and was was
Speaker 1: the cell phone, was the internet? Was was you guys
Speaker 1: and um And I will tell you when that what
Speaker 1: fifth day hit to get my phone, I was like
Speaker 1: I don't want it back. I don't I literally did
Speaker 1: not want my phone back. I want to talk to
Speaker 1: you guys, but I didn't want to sign back on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I didn't want I literally like was just like I loved.
Speaker 1: I loved who I was without all the distraction. I
Speaker 1: loved my book I read. I loved the community. I
Speaker 1: loved having a conversation without someone and them not picking
Speaker 1: up their phone and going huh yeah, like to actually
Speaker 1: have like normal conversations and just be And I think
Speaker 1: that's when you said like the anxious thing, which that
Speaker 1: was one of the things that I've noticed the most
Speaker 1: about myself. But also I learned intention and just um,
Speaker 1: really being intentional was something that I took away from
Speaker 1: that as well as and just just being peace, like
Speaker 1: just having peace and just being settled and sitting in
Speaker 1: you know now um because mymer therapists like start going
Speaker 1: on walks without your phone and I was like, oh, Amy,
Speaker 1: that's not happening. But then I got back from month's
Speaker 1: I walk without my phone was not dangerous. Well as
Speaker 1: to around the neighborhood. Yeah, like I'll just you know,
Speaker 1: run or whatever. But it's like just the distraction is
Speaker 1: just a lot. So I I personally loved that time
Speaker 1: for myself. I did you to be with yourself? Right?
Speaker 1: I mean like when on your phone, you're not focused
Speaker 1: on yourself whatsoever. And then was like what the forces.
Speaker 1: But the funniest thing of this was Miles. I was like,
Speaker 1: how am I going to get so they have these
Speaker 1: alarm clocks. I was like, I don't know how to
Speaker 1: use this thing. Back in the days of or the
Speaker 1: Oregon Trail, I got looked at it. Go get someone
Speaker 1: to show me how to use this alarm clock. I
Speaker 1: was pretty sure I'm not making like I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: wait watch listen I did. I did a one day
Speaker 1: grief retreat and I managed everyone's expectations that I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to be on my phone, and I did one
Speaker 1: full day. So I feel like I could do it
Speaker 1: now I've tried. What what Jan is describing is. It
Speaker 1: is almost across the board. It used to be one
Speaker 1: of our biggest obstacles or disadvantages, the fact that we
Speaker 1: decided to do a digital plan there digital detox. When
Speaker 1: you're with us and there were people you known years ago,
Speaker 1: they wouldn't come over that. They're like, no way, I'm
Speaker 1: not coming to give up my phone now. We've seen,
Speaker 1: just as we've seen the paradigm starting to shift a
Speaker 1: little bit around people coming to pursue their work. That's
Speaker 1: starting to open up and it's not as much stigma.
Speaker 1: There's still some, but people now are like they'll they'll
Speaker 1: call and be like, I don't want to do anything therapy, crap.
Speaker 1: I'm just coming to give you my damn phone and
Speaker 1: then driveway up. That's the kunk out of or an
Speaker 1: opportunity now. But they but I will say everybody goes
Speaker 1: through that digital detox. It takes about we need to
Speaker 1: research it to get the number down, but I'm just
Speaker 1: a yeah, yeah, about twenty fourty eight hours and then
Speaker 1: ninety plus percent do not want it back. I mean,
Speaker 1: they want to talk to their kids and family, but
Speaker 1: they do not want that constant, invasive distraction. And that's
Speaker 1: that's a big part of it. In in today's culture,
Speaker 1: we just we have a deaf set of self awareness.
Speaker 1: And I think a good dose of self awareness and
Speaker 1: empathy could just change the world if we could do
Speaker 1: it collectively. But the brain doesn't have the opportunity to
Speaker 1: heal itself unless you can see itself. And the only
Speaker 1: way it sees itself is if we can limit distraction,
Speaker 1: limit medicators thing we used to numb out our brain
Speaker 1: and slow down enough that we can be in real
Speaker 1: time with ourselves and other people. That's the biggest That's
Speaker 1: a bigger part of the gift is any therapy you'll
Speaker 1: do there is just limiting distractions. Miles aware can our
Speaker 1: listeners find everything that you do? Um and everything that
Speaker 1: you're working on because you have so much to offer,
Speaker 1: and like you said, there's other spaces to like if
Speaker 1: people want to go through um you know a thirty
Speaker 1: day talks and so where where can people find everything
Speaker 1: that you're that you're doing and helping people? Well, thanks
Speaker 1: for asking that. Uh. Well, on site Workshops is our
Speaker 1: website on site workshops dot com and uh, you can.
Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram. Um, I don't spend as much time
Speaker 1: as they tell me I should. I just have a
Speaker 1: hard time with that relationship. So but it's at Miles
Speaker 1: ad Cox. I do talk about some of our stuff
Speaker 1: there and write a lot there. Uh And at on
Speaker 1: site Workshops we've got a team managing that. So there
Speaker 1: are a lot more active and if you are on socials,
Speaker 1: it's a positive place you can go to get encouragement
Speaker 1: versus distraction, and it will also invite you into some
Speaker 1: of our programming and what we do. It will also
Speaker 1: help your algorithm on Instagram. Yeah, if you like, well,
Speaker 1: if I follow you follow on site, then I start
Speaker 1: to get other like really good nuggets of information accounts
Speaker 1: and not like you know by this trying of bikini,
Speaker 1: Is there one thing you want to leave people with?
Speaker 1: If there's one thing, there's one thing that you learn
Speaker 1: that you want to leave us with people listening, what
Speaker 1: would that be? Well, I think when people think of
Speaker 1: and again, I know we spend a lot of time
Speaker 1: talking about what I do and talking about on site,
Speaker 1: but this, this conversation I hope is is heard differently.
Speaker 1: It's not really about a place or a program. It's
Speaker 1: more about you and investing in what I feel you deserve,
Speaker 1: which is living into the best version of who I
Speaker 1: know you can be. I don't know a human on
Speaker 1: the planet that that escapes adversity, and everybody escape. Everybody
Speaker 1: experiences adversity, Everybody experiences stress, but not all of us
Speaker 1: have a natural out thet to offload it. And if
Speaker 1: it compounds it, it just becomes trauma and it impacts
Speaker 1: us later on, invades our relationships and lives, and it's
Speaker 1: happened to me, it will happen to me again. And
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on the planet just to help
Speaker 1: people get reconnected to who they are. So if you're
Speaker 1: thinking about pursuing a place like on Site, or if
Speaker 1: you need another mental health resource, you may be in
Speaker 1: a season of struggle and stress, and you may be
Speaker 1: in a season of things are going great. I'm just
Speaker 1: curious either way, don't think of it as a punitive
Speaker 1: experience or you know, it's what's wrong with you. I
Speaker 1: said that in the beginning, it's really what's right with you,
Speaker 1: and it's not. I said it was an emotional wellness
Speaker 1: retreat experience. But really, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's just human school. And when we learned to become
Speaker 1: more humane to ourselves, we become more humane to other people.
Speaker 1: And I think that rested peak creates a better humanity.
Speaker 1: So and we just don't have natural places in our
Speaker 1: education system to learn about emotional intelligence and how how
Speaker 1: to be a better human, how to do relationships better,
Speaker 1: how to lead better. And so that's that's what I'm
Speaker 1: on the planet to do. In part has helped create
Speaker 1: some of those resources, and so they're out there. They're
Speaker 1: in a lot of places. We've got some and and
Speaker 1: ours aren't always accessible. We've got some, as Jena mentioned
Speaker 1: in the beginning, we've got some UH Foundation UM initiatives.
Speaker 1: We just had a group there last week. They were
Speaker 1: all completely covered for free that we're all survivors and
Speaker 1: mass shootings. That we took a week of programming. UH.
Speaker 1: Can I share a thirty second story? Please? Please, issue.
Speaker 1: I want you to share. I can don't care if
Speaker 1: this one goes for five hours. I love just everything
Speaker 1: you share. So I'm so passionate about our Foundation programs
Speaker 1: UM and we what we'll do is close the campus
Speaker 1: for a week and just invite vulnerable populations that don't
Speaker 1: have the means to come and be able and give
Speaker 1: them a world class experience. And we just did one
Speaker 1: UM and there was a friend of mine there who's
Speaker 1: an artist in another genre. Now I say another genre.
Speaker 1: Those of you that are listening to this, not all
Speaker 1: of you live in Nashville and live around the country. Genre.
Speaker 1: I just spent a lot of time there as these folks.
Speaker 1: But he's in another genre, much bigger genre, and it's
Speaker 1: had a significant commercial success. Is a brilliant guy. And uh,
Speaker 1: once a year before he heads out on an album
Speaker 1: release or a tour, he he wants to come to
Speaker 1: a tune up. And it just so happened it landed
Speaker 1: alongside this program, the Triumph over Tragedy program. And I
Speaker 1: didn't realize those overlapped. I was actually out of town
Speaker 1: when he was there, but he Uh, one night in
Speaker 1: our dining area restaurant, he picked up a guitar. He's
Speaker 1: by himself, everyone was gone, the building was empty, and
Speaker 1: he picked up a star and started to play, and
Speaker 1: there was a young woman that came in, and uh,
Speaker 1: he asked him if she could sit down, and he
Speaker 1: said sure, and just assumed it was probably somebody who
Speaker 1: knew who he was. Um, it turns out she didn't.
Speaker 1: And um, they he played for like an hour for her,
Speaker 1: as my understanding, and or just played for an hour.
Speaker 1: She was there, You didn't know we'd planned for her.
Speaker 1: But the next and then they left, and then the
Speaker 1: next day, Um, she approached him tearfully and said, hey,
Speaker 1: I just want to thank you. And again he assumed,
Speaker 1: probably thinking her for the private concert from somebody like him.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't that. He said, I want to thank
Speaker 1: you because I never thought I'd be able to hear
Speaker 1: live music again after experiencing Root ninety one Harvest Festival,
Speaker 1: and this is the first time I've set and heard
Speaker 1: live music, and I think it changed my life. And uh,
Speaker 1: that was not something that we created. That was something
Speaker 1: that I could only give credit to God, and that
Speaker 1: is something bigger than us created. We just put together
Speaker 1: an environment where people can be authentic and be real.
Speaker 1: And we could have probably done all the therapy in
Speaker 1: the world, and I'm not sure we could have created
Speaker 1: the experience for that young woman who who got something
Speaker 1: stolen from her that day and she got she got
Speaker 1: to reclaim it um and and for him, he was like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, he said, I don't I don't know what
Speaker 1: I came for. But if all I came for was
Speaker 1: to get that, that's the most important performance I've ever
Speaker 1: done in my life. So I just to get to
Speaker 1: swim in waters like that where you get to hear
Speaker 1: and see miracles every day is such a gift and
Speaker 1: I'm just grateful to be a part of it, to
Speaker 1: be representing such a great team. And anyway, I don't
Speaker 1: know why I wanted to share that story. Beautiful, you
Speaker 1: know there's that's as we're all weeping. I know it's
Speaker 1: beautiful though, but it kind of you know, this is
Speaker 1: similar to the music piece. But there was a few
Speaker 1: people that could play guitar when we were doing UM.
Speaker 1: When I was there, and so we were out back,
Speaker 1: and I had I told myself that I would go
Speaker 1: back to my room every night and just you know,
Speaker 1: read my book UM in journal, and some nights I did.
Speaker 1: The other nights, I'm like, again, I just became you
Speaker 1: become like such a commun to do that. You just
Speaker 1: want to hang out with these people and and and
Speaker 1: laugh and play games and UM. One of the nights, UH,
Speaker 1: they were playing guitar to two of the guys and UH,
Speaker 1: one of the other girls UM was started we started
Speaker 1: singing like worship songs, and so we started singing way
Speaker 1: Maker and um with a beautiful name. And one of
Speaker 1: the girls that was there, I noticed that she started crying.
Speaker 1: And when we were done, I was like, I asked her.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, and she goes, I've had the
Speaker 1: worst relationship with the church, and that's one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why I'm here and she goes, I've never sat
Speaker 1: down to listen to worship music. I've always stormed out.
Speaker 1: She's like, this is the first time where I felt
Speaker 1: like peace to like stay and like I actually like
Speaker 1: listened to and hear it. And so she was like
Speaker 1: that was awesome. And so it was just like something
Speaker 1: that music can do to to like really just because
Speaker 1: she was just like, this is one that was one
Speaker 1: of the reasons why she was there. She hated the
Speaker 1: church and she wanted to reclaim and she's like, I've
Speaker 1: I've never I've always gotten up always, and she was
Speaker 1: just like there was just something just hearing these like
Speaker 1: the X and you guys and like who you guys
Speaker 1: are as people and the safety like yeah, it was
Speaker 1: safe for her because it was never safe, like she
Speaker 1: grew up in this cult. So and that's the that's
Speaker 1: I love hearing that. And that's the idea that the
Speaker 1: last I guess takeaway I would share is that it's
Speaker 1: safety I've learned is not in in for years, I
Speaker 1: would I would say the opposite. I would be like, hey,
Speaker 1: create safe people if I and I've learned that safety
Speaker 1: doesn't it's not really an external proposition. It doesn't fully
Speaker 1: exist out there, but you can create it in here.
Speaker 1: And I'm pointing out my heart for those that can't
Speaker 1: see me. I think you can do the work to
Speaker 1: clean clean your heart and and and increase safety. And
Speaker 1: when you've got safety on board for you, you can
Speaker 1: go into imperfect and unsafe environments when you're going to
Speaker 1: experience those, even in mental health places, and and and
Speaker 1: come out with your feet on the ground and taking
Speaker 1: what you can and leaving the rest. And I just
Speaker 1: I love hearing when experiences happened like that, that happened
Speaker 1: organically that we don't create. And a lot of people,
Speaker 1: it's amazing how many people you have to come that
Speaker 1: have struggled with their faith or their relationship. And people
Speaker 1: know I've been a little more outspoken to my faith.
Speaker 1: So people assume we're a faith based organization, and I
Speaker 1: want to say that too, that we're not a We're
Speaker 1: not faith based. We are faith inclusive. That means we
Speaker 1: don't exclude people for what they do and don't believe.
Speaker 1: We believe everybody's welcome. And you can you can feel
Speaker 1: comfortable there if if you follow a certain belief system
Speaker 1: and have a religious beliefs, and you can be an
Speaker 1: atheist and feel just as welcome and comfortable there. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I remember that for sure. When I came the twelve
Speaker 1: years ago, however long I was was because at the
Speaker 1: time I had a real bad relationship and I was like,
Speaker 1: why would I pray to a father? Father has always
Speaker 1: been the one to let me down, like fat. But
Speaker 1: then from there is when I kind of got the
Speaker 1: idea of like, Okay, my God might just look a
Speaker 1: little more different than other people's God the most of
Speaker 1: my higher power. But I started with higher power and
Speaker 1: then it's you know, obviously led me into my you know,
Speaker 1: Christian life now baptized, and that that was the start
Speaker 1: of my journey of faith, was going down site um
Speaker 1: And again y'all didn't push it on me at all.
Speaker 1: It was more like, let's just find some kind of
Speaker 1: higher power. What does that person look like to you?
Speaker 1: Is it a lake? Is it a is it is
Speaker 1: it a grandfather? Is that you know where it's like?
Speaker 1: If and so that they don't they don't push on you.
Speaker 1: But this last go around, it was God was in
Speaker 1: the room with me. Because I've found that now, So
Speaker 1: I think that the journey of that too, is was
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. And I love that you said that,
Speaker 1: like it's not You're definitely inclusive, but you don't force
Speaker 1: it so that journey and everybody should hear this, regardless
Speaker 1: if you're thinking about on site or not. Right now
Speaker 1: because the world is a little bit burned out. The
Speaker 1: world is really stressed. Every statistic is up in every
Speaker 1: mental health category. I've never seen anything quite like it. Um.
Speaker 1: But I also have followed the human experience over time.
Speaker 1: I've done research and due diligence, I've walked with a
Speaker 1: lot of people through challenging circumstances. And we will and can,
Speaker 1: I believe, come out of this better than we came
Speaker 1: into it. I think there's an opportunity. It's hard to
Speaker 1: you right now because it feels like I could get
Speaker 1: much worse. We've got wars going on and uh, the
Speaker 1: economy and we just came out of a global pandemic
Speaker 1: and everything is up. Uh. But but I can. I've
Speaker 1: got I've got both um the fear of where we are,
Speaker 1: but I'm leading with some optimism of what I've seen
Speaker 1: around human beings and how we have the ability to
Speaker 1: change and come back together. And I kind of think
Speaker 1: we're headed there. I think we're asking better questions. You know,
Speaker 1: when I used to when I was burned out, I
Speaker 1: would immediately saying what's wrong with my job? And I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't ask the question what's missing at work when
Speaker 1: I feel burned out, I say what's missing from home,
Speaker 1: what's missing in life? And those are great questions, not
Speaker 1: daunting questions, are just great curious questions. And I've always
Speaker 1: found on the other end of that thread that I've
Speaker 1: become better when I lean in and just want to
Speaker 1: learn who I am and how I'm impacting me and
Speaker 1: the people around me. And I think you guys can too.
Speaker 1: So I just love that you guys are talking about this.
Speaker 1: It's been a treat and I appreciate it, you guys
Speaker 1: having me. Yeah, Myles, I just you know how much
Speaker 1: I love you, and I love all the work that
Speaker 1: you do. And I'm just I'm so glad to have
Speaker 1: you as a friend and um and the community that
Speaker 1: you've um you know that you've built to help so
Speaker 1: many people, I mean just so many people, and it's um,
Speaker 1: it's just such a gift what you give people. And
Speaker 1: I just really and what you know, the p you
Speaker 1: were so the therapist you bring in like you're so
Speaker 1: you were so um intentional with who you paired me
Speaker 1: up with, and you know that's just like it's just
Speaker 1: such a gift of what you do and how intentionally
Speaker 1: you are with things. And so I just I'm excited
Speaker 1: to for your books. I'm excited for everything you do.
Speaker 1: And UM, I hope everyone follows, follows along and UM
Speaker 1: gives them, gives them the what's the the fitness? What
Speaker 1: was what was your emotional fitness from the O G
Speaker 1: from them? To thank you the O G for this conversation.
Speaker 1: Oh take it. I don't need the credit, but I'll
Speaker 1: take it. Thank you Miles so much. You're so sweet,
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you all right, You're the best. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh man, just take a deep breath. Man, that like
Speaker 1: root in any one story, just like because it's so
Speaker 1: true though, because you will, you will have an experience
Speaker 1: with someone that gives you a gift when you're there.
Speaker 1: You will. And that's like it's like what that one
Speaker 1: girl got, like she got when when she listened to
Speaker 1: the music, or that you know, both of them, it's
Speaker 1: like there's there's something, there's a gift in something that
Speaker 1: someone will give to you and then yeah, I gotta
Speaker 1: love that place, and let's I think we should go
Speaker 1: and have a little lunch there. Maybe one day, eat
Speaker 1: some of the sonic ice. I can show you because
Speaker 1: I threw um, it's like visiting your school before you go,
Speaker 1: Catherine exactly, Kristen. But no, I think like there's this, um,
Speaker 1: there's this really beautiful together. No, but there was this
Speaker 1: really beautiful stream that I did some insane healing work
Speaker 1: because I didn't realize UM when I went there, Like
Speaker 1: I knew I had all my stuff, but I didn't
Speaker 1: realize how much shame I was holding onto. UM. I
Speaker 1: thought shame was yeah, something that like I did something wrong,
Speaker 1: But I had so many shame messages that that's what
Speaker 1: I think maybe, And that's where I think the anxious
Speaker 1: part of me came in was because I was trying
Speaker 1: to be like, um, double down for them. But I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that at the time. UM. And so I
Speaker 1: did this amazing experiential thing at a stream and it
Speaker 1: was just I mean I burned stuff, I threw things,
Speaker 1: I slammed down on UM. I had this like that,
Speaker 1: like I mean I went to town, um, but it's
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna speak more on
Speaker 1: it eventually. I'm writing a lot of stuff on it
Speaker 1: right now about like what I went through there, but
Speaker 1: I'm still holding like lots of sacred space for it. Good. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: but it was. But I do I notice a shift
Speaker 1: in me from leaving that place. Camer Way calmer, Yeah,
Speaker 1: way calmer. Um. But I love you guys, and I'm
Speaker 1: excited to go to on site. I feel like I
Speaker 1: just had a big, warm hug. I feel good? Does
Speaker 1: feel good? How do you feel in about a cap?
Speaker 1: I feel good? Yeah? That was good. That was helpful,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. Yeah. Alright, guys, We'll see you next week.
Speaker 1: See you