Speaker 1: Hey, folks, this is Lyle here. I just got done
Speaker 1: going through all two hundred plus submissions for Geck across America,
Speaker 1: and my god, I just I had to hop in
Speaker 1: and tell you guys we have the best community ever.
Speaker 1: I mean, it is incredible seeing all these different people
Speaker 1: from all these different places, all these different characters, different looks,
Speaker 1: different ages, different to everything. It's it's you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's really awesome. I you know, I have been doing
Speaker 1: this for about a year and it really watching all
Speaker 1: these videos, it's setting in just how great the community is.
Speaker 1: I'm pained by the fact that we're not going to
Speaker 1: be able to get back to everyone. Seriously. I mean,
Speaker 1: I was with Owen, who's going to be coming along
Speaker 1: documenting the journey, and we were talking about how we
Speaker 1: just wish we had, like, you know, you know, could
Speaker 1: do this, you know, for a whole year or something
Speaker 1: like that. But I want you to know if you
Speaker 1: submitted something, even if I don't get back to you
Speaker 1: know that I really appreciate you submitting. Every single submission
Speaker 1: we watched was very genuine and really great. So thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much. Again, this is going to be
Speaker 1: crazy fucking project. We're going to go all over the place,
Speaker 1: and I'm totally nervous, totally excited. Just wanted to express
Speaker 1: my gratitude to the folks of get Nation for helping
Speaker 1: to make this happen. I am super excited for you
Speaker 1: guys to see this journey. I haven't reached out to
Speaker 1: everyone who we're gonna pick because we have to spend
Speaker 1: in a whole another week sort of going through everything
Speaker 1: and figuring out what we can and can't do and
Speaker 1: where we can all go. But again, if you submitted something,
Speaker 1: you're a fucking hero, because all these submissions, I mean
Speaker 1: it totally completely blew away any expectations that I had,
Speaker 1: and I'm very excited and very grateful to be able
Speaker 1: to go on a project like this, So thank you guys. Anyway,
Speaker 1: as always, you can call the Gecko every Monday, Wednesday
Speaker 1: and Friday at nine pm Eastern Standard Time on Twitch
Speaker 1: dot tv, slash lyle forever. And let's get into the calls.
Speaker 1: Baby never goes on the line taking your phone calls.
Speaker 1: Every night, ever goes to his I was teaching you
Speaker 1: how your life. He's not really an expert.
Speaker 2: All from is it?
Speaker 3: Hello?
Speaker 1: Hello, what's your name?
Speaker 2: Show up.
Speaker 1: How are you.
Speaker 2: Pretty good? You know, so glad beyond glad to you know,
Speaker 2: actually talk to you, of course, Philip. So recently, I've
Speaker 2: been with my girlfriend and uh, she pulled this big
Speaker 2: thing out called Hank the Tank. It's about ten inches long,
Speaker 2: and it really makes me feel bad about myself. I
Speaker 2: don't know how to tell her to get rid of it.
Speaker 1: Hank the Tank? Is that the name of of of
Speaker 1: of a I'm I'm getting the sense that you're implying
Speaker 1: that's the name of a of a sex toy of hers.
Speaker 1: It's very phallic, a ten inch long phallic instrument that
Speaker 1: she uses for her own personal sexual pleasure. Yes, Philip,
Speaker 1: look the whole thing of you know, telling her to
Speaker 1: get rid of it. I mean that your your your
Speaker 1: problem is that you know this thing is making you insecure.
Speaker 1: You can't just tell her to get rid of it.
Speaker 1: That's not that's not within your your jurisdiction at all.
Speaker 2: You're right, I guess it just doesn't seem right.
Speaker 1: Why do you say it doesn't What do you mean
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem right?
Speaker 2: I never thought I would use something like that. I mean,
Speaker 2: oh god, I got showered. I've never been showered before.
Speaker 1: What a showered mean?
Speaker 2: Well, once in a while, when you do some stuff,
Speaker 2: there's some liquid that comes back.
Speaker 1: I assume you're you're making this all up, but your
Speaker 1: wife pete on you.
Speaker 2: No, No, I did not make this up. This actually
Speaker 2: happened two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Really tell me every last detail, every last detail. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to know, like, what was it didn't feel hot?
Speaker 1: Where did you pee on you? Exactly?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it was, it was hot and then
Speaker 2: kind of got cold because it was cold in the room,
Speaker 2: so it kind of evaporated a little bit.
Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense. We'll check with our science people
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like I said, she pulled that thing out.
Speaker 2: I got jealous, and I don't know how to bring it.
Speaker 3: Up to her.
Speaker 2: I'd really like to get it out of the house,
Speaker 2: but you said, don't do that.
Speaker 5: That's wrong.
Speaker 1: Why why are you so concerned with getting this thing
Speaker 1: out of the house. If I were her, I would
Speaker 1: be see, here's the thing is like this, you're you're
Speaker 1: you know. Look, I don't think your wife is going
Speaker 1: to leave you because this is your wife or your
Speaker 1: girlfriend girlfriend. Look, your girlfriend's not going to leave you
Speaker 1: because you have a tiny penis all right, because she's
Speaker 1: stuck with you so far. But your girlfriend might leave
Speaker 1: you for trying to, you know, control her and what
Speaker 1: she can and can't do, and you know, with with
Speaker 1: with her own life and with her own you know,
Speaker 1: fulfilling her own sexual needs. I leave you over that
Speaker 1: more than I would you having a tiny penis.
Speaker 2: Enough. Get we'll keep tank the tank. I mean, I
Speaker 2: guess I answered the question.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, man. See, that's the thing is you're you're
Speaker 1: you're You're gonna make it much worse for yourself because
Speaker 1: you're feeding into your own insecurity, whereas like, look, having
Speaker 1: a tiny penis is like that's you know, that's just
Speaker 1: who you are. And and look she stayed with you
Speaker 1: long enough, she obviously doesn't care. She's still with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, Okay, I'll let you go. Thank you sir,
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 1: Man, you have a good rest of.
Speaker 5: The night now, you too.
Speaker 2: All from Nathan.
Speaker 1: Nathan.
Speaker 5: Hey, how are you?
Speaker 1: Nathan?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 6: I'm doing all right.
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 1: How have you sinned? Nathan?
Speaker 6: Well, about ten years ago I cheated on my wife.
Speaker 1: Mmm, you cheated on your wife? And are you two
Speaker 1: still together?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: We are you are, so she forgave it.
Speaker 6: Well, we're working on that because this, uh, she just
Speaker 6: recently found out.
Speaker 1: She only found out recently.
Speaker 6: Yeah, just probably just a little under two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: And did you reveal it to her or did she
Speaker 1: find out on her own?
Speaker 6: She found out on her own?
Speaker 1: How did she find out?
Speaker 6: So the husband of the woman I cheated with told
Speaker 6: her because he found out. He found out about two
Speaker 6: years ago, and he contacted her and told her.
Speaker 1: How did he find out? Eight years after it happened.
Speaker 6: Another mutual friend of ours told him let him know?
Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: Oh. He confronted me about this when he found out
Speaker 6: about it and told me that he knew, but then
Speaker 6: didn't tell me if whether or not he was going
Speaker 6: to tell my wife. But see, his wife and my
Speaker 6: wife are best friends, so in order to try and
Speaker 6: save their friendship at the time, he told me that
Speaker 6: he wasn't planning on telling my wife. But then something
Speaker 6: something inside him just here recently caused him to tell her.
Speaker 6: So now she knows.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you didn't just cheat on your wife with
Speaker 1: a you know, an unconnected woman. This was her best friend.
Speaker 6: This was her best friend.
Speaker 1: Yes, and how long have you all own each other for?
Speaker 1: I mean ten years is.
Speaker 6: A while, right, Well, no, so, I mean, I'm almost
Speaker 6: thirty seven years old, and i've known that the the
Speaker 6: guy is an old friend of mine from I met
Speaker 6: him in eighth grade. We've known each other for a
Speaker 6: long time. And then my wife and her best friend,
Speaker 6: they've known each other since high school. And my wife's
Speaker 6: even a couple of years older than I am. So
Speaker 6: they we've all known each other for years.
Speaker 1: And how long and how many times did you cheot
Speaker 1: on your wife? Was this you know, one isolated incident
Speaker 1: ten years ago? Was to say, over the past ten
Speaker 1: years ago?
Speaker 6: It was a couple of times, roughly, you know, pretty
Speaker 6: close to each other. It happened about twice, Okay, probably
Speaker 6: within a month or two sday.
Speaker 1: I'm did she have a conversation about your wife? Do
Speaker 1: you have a conversation with your wife about it? This
Speaker 1: is two weeks ago?
Speaker 6: You said, yeah, about two weeks ago she about she
Speaker 6: found out. Yeah, and we've been talking. Well, the first
Speaker 6: few days of her finding out were pretty rough. See,
Speaker 6: the problem is, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm working out of town.
Speaker 6: This is it's been horrible timing. I've been working out
Speaker 6: of town. I'm about twelve hundred miles away from home
Speaker 6: when she found out about this, So I've been pretty complete,
Speaker 6: pretty pretty helpless about trying to take care of this,
Speaker 6: you know, face to face, it's all been over the
Speaker 6: fault and it was pretty rough those first few days.
Speaker 6: But she seems like she's getting better.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't expect her to forgive me. I hope she does,
Speaker 6: but I don't expect her to. But I guess I'm
Speaker 6: just kind of hoping for the best.
Speaker 1: Now, do you guys have kids?
Speaker 6: We have three kids.
Speaker 1: M do they know?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 6: I just found out that one of them overheard my
Speaker 6: wife and I talking one evening and uh yeah, my
Speaker 6: my middle daughter, she's about sixteen, she knows.
Speaker 1: Hm. And how are you feeling about the situation as
Speaker 1: a whole.
Speaker 6: I'm terrified, you know, I don't want to lose my family.
Speaker 6: You know, I made a really bad mistake. You know,
Speaker 6: there's no excuse for it, and I'll do whatever it
Speaker 6: takes to, you know, keep my family together and keep
Speaker 6: my wife.
Speaker 1: Have you talked through with your I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, what have you done so far in your
Speaker 1: attempts to rectify the situation.
Speaker 6: Uh, you know, I've just tried to any any kind
Speaker 6: of answers my wife has for me. I do my
Speaker 6: best answer them. I mean, it did happen a while ago,
Speaker 6: and you know, I'm having to try to remember a
Speaker 6: lot of things. But I you know, I just I
Speaker 6: answer honestly, and I answer answer truthfully. Whatever I can do,
Speaker 6: you know. I mean, that's just that's the problem about
Speaker 6: all I can do, being that I'm away from homeworking,
Speaker 6: about all I can do is just talk. So it's
Speaker 6: just been a lot of talking, you know, And and
Speaker 6: I let her say what she wants to say, and
Speaker 6: I answer, I answered truthfully, and so yeah, that's about
Speaker 6: all I can do right now.
Speaker 1: Have you talked through it extensively with your your your
Speaker 1: sixteen year old.
Speaker 6: No, I have not. I haven't. I'm going to. She's
Speaker 6: pretty upset about it from what I from what I understand,
Speaker 6: and uh, I just I haven't had that conversation with
Speaker 6: her yet.
Speaker 4: M hm.
Speaker 6: So yeah, that's how I send.
Speaker 1: Wow, are you a religious person?
Speaker 6: You know? I never used to be years ago, but
Speaker 6: I find I find myself a lot more religious now
Speaker 6: these days.
Speaker 4: And I think.
Speaker 6: I think my actions in the past really kind of
Speaker 6: helped get me where I am right now, faithfully, you know,
Speaker 6: with with my faith in God.
Speaker 7: Mhm.
Speaker 6: I know I've done wrong, and I you know, I
Speaker 6: do my best to pray and have a relationship with God.
Speaker 1: Well listen, what'd you say?
Speaker 5: Your name was, Nathan?
Speaker 1: Well listen, Nathan? Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 6: Yes, thank you for taking my call. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Of course, you have a good rest of the night.
Speaker 6: You too. Thanks.
Speaker 4: Get all from Bobert.
Speaker 1: Bobert.
Speaker 4: Yes, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 1: Bobert?
Speaker 4: I'm doing alright. Gek, I'm doing all right. How are you?
Speaker 1: You know Bobert Bobberts. Is that having anything to do
Speaker 1: with Robert or just the Bobert?
Speaker 4: A little bit of both. I like to think, No,
Speaker 4: just couldn't choose.
Speaker 1: You couldn't choose. Are you a generally indecisive person?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What was the last time you had a tough time
Speaker 1: making a decision?
Speaker 4: Earlier? Actually earlier?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Earlier today, I was trying to decide whether or
Speaker 4: not to like continue. Its kind of like I've been
Speaker 4: going to therapy on and off, and it's been kind
Speaker 4: of arduous and wearing me down a little bit. So
Speaker 4: I've got something else scheduled for tomorrow, and I was
Speaker 4: kind of weighing on whether or not to skip it
Speaker 4: and try to just chill and repress all this shit
Speaker 4: for maybe a year more, or just wait, Okay, you're.
Speaker 1: Not talking about skipping one there. Besides, you're talking about
Speaker 1: skipping going to therapy. Yeah, why do you Why do
Speaker 1: you think that would help you?
Speaker 4: Well, I had sort of a bad experience with it.
Speaker 4: I tried to and my dad kind of got in
Speaker 4: the way.
Speaker 1: You tried to skip it and your dad got in
Speaker 1: the way. Or you tried to do it and your
Speaker 1: dad got in the way.
Speaker 4: The second one, I tried to do it and my
Speaker 4: dad got in a way.
Speaker 1: How did your dad get in the way.
Speaker 4: It was like a group session, and he lied, he lied.
Speaker 1: Well, you're not talking about group session, all right, or
Speaker 1: you're talking about just a single session, a group session.
Speaker 1: What's the session that you have tomorrow?
Speaker 4: It's a single session. But I've been hearing a lot
Speaker 4: lately from the therapists and doctors. I've been seeing that
Speaker 4: group sessions would be more helpful to me probably.
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: If your doctors are telling you the group sessions would
Speaker 1: be helpful. Then, I mean, why don't you go to
Speaker 1: You know you should do is go to the single
Speaker 1: session and tell all I mean everything, I have everything
Speaker 1: that you just told me, Like you know the fact
Speaker 1: that you don't want to go to therapy because your
Speaker 1: dad lied in therapy. Have you told that to Well?
Speaker 4: The decision, well, the decision has already like been made
Speaker 4: like against my like against my sort of gut feeling
Speaker 4: like even though I don't want to, I'm going to
Speaker 4: do it anyway because I know that's what's best for me.
Speaker 4: But good, I'm that was the decision I was kind
Speaker 4: of struggling with earlier. Just to answer the question, I'm
Speaker 4: not I'm not still struggling with it. Now.
Speaker 1: Well, good, I'm glad that you decide to go and
Speaker 1: now and now you have so much to talk about
Speaker 1: in the therapy. You can get metal with it. You
Speaker 1: can talk about how you didn't want to go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right. I actually intend to kind of bring
Speaker 4: that up, like right off of that.
Speaker 1: Oh, you should totally bring it up.
Speaker 4: Yeah sweet, all right?
Speaker 2: Cool?
Speaker 1: And they actually think that that's probably I mean, they
Speaker 1: probably get that question all the time, or you know,
Speaker 1: the concern all the time of people not wanting to
Speaker 1: see them. Oh yeah, I be offended. Yeah yeah, Well listen,
Speaker 1: what did you say? Your name was Bob Ritt? How
Speaker 1: how have you sinned barber it?
Speaker 4: Do?
Speaker 1: You seem like a nice guy. You seem like you
Speaker 1: haven't sinned it before. But I've talked to many people.
Speaker 1: I don't know that looks could be deceiving and not
Speaker 1: that I can see you, but.
Speaker 4: Well, uh, well, I guess my voice is sort of
Speaker 4: deceiving because I've sinned a lot. But I'll I'll share
Speaker 4: a more entertaining, kind of lighthearted one.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 4: When I was in like I think like second or
Speaker 4: third grade, I was, uh and to get this sort
Speaker 4: of like background, I guess it is pretty awful, and
Speaker 4: I know that now, but uh, I was like bullied
Speaker 4: pretty heavily in my household as a kid. So I
Speaker 4: kind of turned into a bully in like elementary school.
Speaker 1: Yes, transmusion of the of the bullying energy.
Speaker 4: I got out of it in like middle school, of course,
Speaker 4: when I like changed schools and all that, but when
Speaker 4: I was like, thank you, I am too. But in
Speaker 4: like second or third grade, I had this friend, let's
Speaker 4: call him, uh, let's call him Pete, and uh, Pete
Speaker 4: was he was an awesome kid. He was an awesome kid,
Speaker 4: but he wasn't the sharpestool in the shed, I guess.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 4: And this one time we were in like this, this
Speaker 4: kind of like I don't know if a lot of
Speaker 4: schools have this. It's kind of like daycare after school
Speaker 4: for like kids whose parents can't get off work, like
Speaker 4: righte at three, sure, and me and Pete were like
Speaker 4: playing with the legos, your legos, and they had hand
Speaker 4: sanitizer to try and make sure nobody got sick because
Speaker 4: you use legos your hands, and our schools kind of gross,
Speaker 4: I guess. But I was really bored while we were
Speaker 4: playing with these legos, and I just saw this hand
Speaker 4: sanitizer just sitting there and I was like, hey, Pete,
Speaker 4: you know, you know hand sanitizers really for your eyes, right,
Speaker 4: And he's like what really. I didn't have a chance
Speaker 4: to answer him because before he he said really, and
Speaker 4: then in immediately took like three big squirts of hand sanitizer,
Speaker 4: rubbed him into his hands, and then rubbed his hands
Speaker 4: into his eyes. Hm hm, And uh, I didn't get
Speaker 4: in trouble for it.
Speaker 1: You didn't get in trouble for us. Now, how did
Speaker 1: you have had? What?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: What events? I'm very curious what events preceded that?
Speaker 4: Well, Well, the school we were at was gross, not
Speaker 4: just like on the outside but on the inside, like
Speaker 4: the faculty I guess, and the way they saw it
Speaker 4: or that that situation unfolded, I guess they saw thought
Speaker 4: of it like it was his fault because it literally
Speaker 4: says hand sanitizer on the hand sanitizer like as a
Speaker 4: like a matter of reading. And we were in like
Speaker 4: sex in our third grade, So they were just like
Speaker 4: really mad at him for actually falling for it. But
Speaker 4: I don't think they realized that, Like I don't think
Speaker 4: it occurred to them that there might have been like
Speaker 4: developmental stuff in play or something like that.
Speaker 1: That's crazy, that's crazy, they got. That's like you know
Speaker 1: what that is. That's like that's some real world ass
Speaker 1: like spelling, like reading comprehension test.
Speaker 4: They literally like it was really awful. How they they
Speaker 4: like handled it. They were like, Tony, what does that
Speaker 4: say hand sanitizer? They like they took him away like
Speaker 4: into little like detention after that.
Speaker 1: Damn he got he got hand sanitizer in his eyes
Speaker 1: and an f Yeah, damn, poor kid, what you're doing?
Speaker 1: Do you still do you still keep up with him?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: I uh, Unfortunately I never got a chance to make
Speaker 4: amends or anything like that. I uh, I've tried a
Speaker 4: couple of times, but every time I looked him up
Speaker 4: on Facebook, like once a couple of years ago, and
Speaker 4: he wears glasses now.
Speaker 1: Do you think the two ads are related?
Speaker 4: Yeah, because they didn't when they put him in the
Speaker 4: room after he got it in his eyes, they didn't
Speaker 4: let him rinse it out or anything.
Speaker 1: Why.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I was like kind of like peeking
Speaker 4: over like the teacher's shoulders and like on the on
Speaker 4: the outskirts, like as he was getting like chewed out,
Speaker 4: because I wanted to know what was gonna happen, or
Speaker 4: like if he was gonna be okay, because his eyes
Speaker 4: were like bright bright red. But I think I think
Speaker 4: I did that.
Speaker 1: Interesting. So, how do you know for sure that the
Speaker 1: fact that he wears glasses now is related to this
Speaker 1: thing that happened to him many years ago?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: I don't know for sure.
Speaker 4: Which is a thing that kind of perplexes me about
Speaker 4: this and kind of makes me get into my own head,
Speaker 4: a little bit about it, like just the possibility of it.
Speaker 1: Well, Bobert, sounds like you have a lot to talk
Speaker 1: about tomorrow.
Speaker 4: Yep, for sure.
Speaker 1: Good luck man, you have a wonderful us of the night.
Speaker 4: Thanks you too, gek.
Speaker 1: F dude, babe, Oh shit, what if what if they
Speaker 1: actually gave him better sight? Think about it? Think about it,
Speaker 1: think about this, think about this all right. Theoretically they
Speaker 1: could have actually given a better sight, right, because think
Speaker 1: about this, No one puts hand sanitizer in their eye, right,
Speaker 1: No one would ever put hand sanitizer in their eye.
Speaker 1: No one would ever do it. So we don't know
Speaker 1: what happens if you do. And maybe what happens is
Speaker 1: you get superpowers, high risk, high reward.
Speaker 2: All from Elliott to accept prescio.
Speaker 1: Huh huhuh I.
Speaker 8: Hullo.
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 4: Hey?
Speaker 1: What's your name?
Speaker 2: Elliott?
Speaker 1: Elliott?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Can you do all right?
Speaker 1: Elliott?
Speaker 4: Yes, Elliott?
Speaker 1: I can hear you beautifully.
Speaker 8: Awesome, awesome, it's great to hear man.
Speaker 1: Uh we were spoken before, Elliott?
Speaker 8: No, I don't think so. My first time calling in
Speaker 8: so this is.
Speaker 1: Really the first, like your first time ever dialing the number? Yes, sir, Wow,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. A lot of people are like, damn, it
Speaker 1: took me like five hundred tries, but you got it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 8: No, I just heard you guys feel like taking calls.
Speaker 8: I'm like, you know what, I'll give it a shot.
Speaker 1: Why not listen? Look, I mean you came on a
Speaker 1: good night. We don't usually take calls on the stream,
Speaker 1: but tonight I figured we take some phone calls.
Speaker 8: That sounds amazing.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 8: You know it's like destiny.
Speaker 1: You know it's again you're playing destiny.
Speaker 8: Yeah, oh, it's like destiny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it could be destiny. Do you believe in destiny?
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 8: Not really a religious person myself.
Speaker 1: Well, no, I don't know if you have to believe
Speaker 1: in I don't know if it's the concept of destinies
Speaker 1: is inherently religious. I mean, do you believe in fate?
Speaker 1: Do you believe in things happen for a reason or
Speaker 1: or are you more towards the side of everything is
Speaker 1: just random?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Bro?
Speaker 8: Everything just random?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: Hm? So you think it was completely random that you
Speaker 1: just got in tonight the first just luck?
Speaker 8: You know?
Speaker 1: I agree with you.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, yeah, so I cheated, but not in that way. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 8: so you know how we have this coronavirus going on.
Speaker 8: We I'm in school right now and we have to
Speaker 8: take online exams, now what's called I'm then there's a
Speaker 8: big discord group where some students in the same class
Speaker 8: and we all essentially we all just take the exam
Speaker 8: at the same time and we cheat off there. But
Speaker 8: you know, I don't I'm not really fond of these
Speaker 8: people because I'd never met them in my life. So
Speaker 8: what I did was I what's called I helped them
Speaker 8: out with the exam answers throughout the semester, and our
Speaker 8: teachers have this policy of where you have to get
Speaker 8: fifty on the final exam for pass, and so essentially
Speaker 8: a lot of people were coming to me for answers
Speaker 8: on the exam, and on the final exam, I gave
Speaker 8: them wrong answers, and I heard about like five or
Speaker 8: six people filled out and they have to take the
Speaker 8: class again.
Speaker 1: M You gave them wrong answers on purpose?
Speaker 8: Yes, yes, because I mean I don't like them, to
Speaker 8: be honest, you like them. No, I mean they didn't
Speaker 8: do anything wrong to me. It's not like they're wrong
Speaker 8: to me or anything. I just you know, it wasn't
Speaker 8: really fonds. Then you know, I had no connection to them.
Speaker 1: You know, so you gave them the wrong answers. These
Speaker 1: weren't people you disliked strongly and you were trying to
Speaker 1: seeking vengeance against them. You you were just kind of
Speaker 1: failing them for sport.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: See this is interesting to me because on one hand,
Speaker 1: it's like, look, if you're cheating off the exam, by
Speaker 1: the way, I mean, well, what do you what do
Speaker 1: you guys? What do you guys study?
Speaker 8: Computer science?
Speaker 1: So computers?
Speaker 4: This particular class was a really hard one.
Speaker 8: It's about like computer hardware, like some believe all that,
Speaker 8: you know, a bunch of ones and zeros.
Speaker 1: M hmm.
Speaker 7: See.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is an interesting thing because you know, look,
Speaker 1: I can't inherently say that what you did was wrong,
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, if you cheat on the exam,
Speaker 1: you know, you're you're you're working outside the bounds of
Speaker 1: the system. Anything could happen. It's a lawless land, right right.
Speaker 8: Right, But like the act of like I don't know,
Speaker 8: I mean, I guess it is allis land, but like
Speaker 8: I don't know, you know, like because like I mean,
Speaker 8: at the time, I didn't really care but like now
Speaker 8: I kind of feel I wouldn't say guilty, but like, uh,
Speaker 8: I don't know, like almost that fault for them, you know, No,
Speaker 8: I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're well, I'm what I'm most curious about,
Speaker 1: aside from like whether or not what you did was wrong, yes,
Speaker 1: is not as interesting to me as like why you
Speaker 1: did it, like you just I mean, you know, if
Speaker 1: these people, like if you felt like, oh, these people
Speaker 1: are taking advantage of me, and you know that I
Speaker 1: actually my friends, Uh fuck them, I'm gonna give them
Speaker 1: the wrong answers. But that feeling didn't seem like it
Speaker 1: was ind you. It seemed like you just kind of
Speaker 1: wanted to do this.
Speaker 8: For for like sport, like I enjoyed it or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem like you kind of enjoyed it.
Speaker 8: At the time.
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 8: It's kind of feeling like high in mindy of myself
Speaker 8: because like I was definitely on the top of the class.
Speaker 8: I wouldn't say I was like the smartest one there.
Speaker 8: That was definitely one of the smartest ones in the
Speaker 8: class at least, but I mean, yeah, like kind of
Speaker 8: just felt nice. So I because like their fate was
Speaker 8: in my hands, Like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you enjoyed the power of it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I guess I kind of get
Speaker 8: like power hungry right there?
Speaker 1: Do you feel as though you don't have a lot
Speaker 1: of power?
Speaker 8: Uh, like in my life? Or I mean yeah, but
Speaker 8: I mean I feel like this was everyone. You know,
Speaker 8: you're you're born a certain way, you're born in a
Speaker 8: certain country. You don't really get the same opportunities as
Speaker 8: everyone else. You know, you're bound to feel parallels at
Speaker 8: sometimes in your life, but like, you know, that's life.
Speaker 1: M Now, did these students who gave the wrong answers
Speaker 1: to did they eventually come back to you and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: what the fuck will these answers are wrong? No?
Speaker 8: No, So essentially we're in this big district group and
Speaker 8: I just all I did was I left the group
Speaker 8: after we completed the class, and I never heard from
Speaker 8: them again, because you know, it's all online.
Speaker 4: You know, like, what are they going to detract me down?
Speaker 8: They don't even know me.
Speaker 1: But you told me that they You told me that
Speaker 1: you heard some of them failed.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, from other students.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, you think you're feeling guilty about what you did?
Speaker 8: Yeah, you know, because like now they have to review
Speaker 8: the semester, and like I heard from one of them
Speaker 8: at least that like they had really strict towns and
Speaker 8: like they're overseas, you know, and so like failing this
Speaker 8: class like really hurt them financially speaking. I kind of
Speaker 8: felt bad.
Speaker 4: About that, you know, m.
Speaker 8: Because like they have to retake your class. The teams
Speaker 8: they have to like reinvest the money to take that
Speaker 8: class again, you know in college. Is they're not particularly cheap.
Speaker 1: Well listen before we go, Yeah, would you do it again?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 8: No, no, I would not.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing. Man, you over the rest of
Speaker 1: the night.
Speaker 2: All from Kirby.
Speaker 1: Kirby, Hello Herby.
Speaker 9: Hello am I on stream?
Speaker 1: You are Kirby?
Speaker 9: Oh what's up?
Speaker 6: While what's not?
Speaker 1: You know, not a whole heck of a lot? Kirby?
Speaker 1: Is that your You don't have to tell me what
Speaker 1: your real name is? But is Kirby your real name?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: God, I wish how did you pick that name? Do
Speaker 1: you have an affinity for the Kirby series? Uh?
Speaker 9: I main Kirby and it's just a very He's just
Speaker 9: a pink ball man. He looks real, chill and nice
Speaker 9: and like the way I perceive myself is not like that.
Speaker 9: So I was like, that's kind of funny. I'll be Kirby.
Speaker 1: Interesting. The way you perceive yourself is not like that?
Speaker 1: How how do you perceive yourself?
Speaker 9: I'm mean and dark and rude, and Kirby is just
Speaker 9: a nice little ball and he just screams pio at people.
Speaker 6: You know, mean and.
Speaker 1: Dark and rude. What makes you say that you are
Speaker 1: mean and dark and rude?
Speaker 9: Well, I don't really like people. This is gonna tie
Speaker 9: into my sin. I don't care about other people.
Speaker 1: Interesting. How old are you?
Speaker 9: I'm nineteen?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, what's your sin? How hath you sinned? Karby?
Speaker 9: So going on with the scene with cheating? I have
Speaker 9: not been cheated on, but I've been the cheater for
Speaker 9: other people. You get me?
Speaker 1: You said that the way don't. I can't describe exactly why,
Speaker 1: but that the way you phrased that is I have
Speaker 1: been that. I have not been cheated on, but I
Speaker 1: have been the cheater for other people. I can't describe
Speaker 1: exactly what bothers me about the way you phrased that.
Speaker 1: I wish I could, but I don't. That's definitely not okay.
Speaker 1: What go on?
Speaker 9: Yes, home wrecker Kurby, Everyone in the chat saying that, yes,
Speaker 9: it's I just don't care about other people, so knowingly
Speaker 9: letting someone choose bad. Yeah, but like, for example, it
Speaker 9: was a toxic relationship between the both of them, and
Speaker 9: neither of them wanted to be with each other. Not
Speaker 9: to say that I wanted to be with that person either,
Speaker 9: but like we did the dirty and then there's significant
Speaker 9: other was mad and I was just like, well, that
Speaker 9: that sucks.
Speaker 1: I guess, my dad, why do you think you don't
Speaker 1: care about other people?
Speaker 9: Interesting? Because I've been let down a lot. I can't
Speaker 9: have expectations of others.
Speaker 1: You can't have ex well, I mean, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's a good thing not to have expects of others,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't necessarily look link having not
Speaker 1: having expectations with other of not having expectations of others too,
Speaker 1: not caring about others. I don't think those two things
Speaker 1: have to be inherently related.
Speaker 9: I agree, But I guess it's just in my experience
Speaker 9: where I don't expect anything of others.
Speaker 1: Okay, but why why? What do you like? You don't
Speaker 1: care about other people's feelings, You don't care if you
Speaker 1: hurt other people?
Speaker 9: Well, I mean, like, you know, true, you have your people, right,
Speaker 9: like just your close friends or for or whatever. Those
Speaker 9: people I care about the like random people, they're not really.
Speaker 1: M Do you let me ask you something. Do you
Speaker 1: see this as a problem?
Speaker 9: I do, I really do.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, so you're not in the camp of I
Speaker 1: don't care about other people and fucking I mean you
Speaker 1: kind of are. But there is a part of you
Speaker 1: that I would like to care about other people. It
Speaker 1: sounds like.
Speaker 9: I don't think I can have that like emotional attachment
Speaker 9: to other people enough to care about them.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: Mmmm, well, I mean, look, you just said that you
Speaker 1: you just said that you have people that you do
Speaker 1: care about. Yes, I do, so, so that's not true.
Speaker 1: You do have the capacity to have emotional attachments to
Speaker 1: people and care about.
Speaker 9: Them, but like when I hurt their feelings, I don't.
Speaker 9: I don't feel bad about it.
Speaker 1: Let me have Is this something you've spoken to a
Speaker 1: real therapist about.
Speaker 9: Yes, and I do go to therapy, but everyone in chat, oh, man, Kacy,
Speaker 9: she's just like, girl, you need to help. And I'm like,
Speaker 9: that's why I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1: What fuck your therapist said to you? You need help? Yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: what did she elaborate on that? Did she offer any.
Speaker 6: Not enough?
Speaker 1: I would say, she said, you need help. Okay, you
Speaker 1: told her I don't care about other people. I don't
Speaker 1: care when they hurt their feelings. And what does she say?
Speaker 9: Well, you know, the real lack of empathy is probably
Speaker 9: like from trauma or something. I'm like, yeah, probably Stacy
Speaker 9: and just conversations like that with her.
Speaker 1: It's from trauma.
Speaker 9: Yeah, but I don't.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, listen, first of all, you should get
Speaker 1: a new therapist until you find someone that he's helpful
Speaker 1: for you. But in the meantime, you know, it's one
Speaker 1: thing not to care about other people, but it's another
Speaker 1: thing when you know, you go out and your actions
Speaker 1: start to have adverse effects on other people. So you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, look, try to get some help. Try to
Speaker 1: keep the havoc reaking, you know, under control until until
Speaker 1: you can get some help. You know, I imagining Kirby.
Speaker 1: Kirby swallows you and gains your your copies, your ability
Speaker 1: to not care about other people and just goes on
Speaker 1: like a a rampage of of of sin. And it's
Speaker 1: a video game. It's called Kirby's Rampage. Of sin. It's
Speaker 1: on the on this twitch.
Speaker 9: I don't know if you've seen those means where it's
Speaker 9: like if Kirby like eight you or whatever, what would
Speaker 9: your power be? So what would your power be?
Speaker 4: Geck?
Speaker 1: I'd be a He'd be turned into a geck. I
Speaker 1: would well listen, Kirby, are you gonna try to find
Speaker 1: the new therapist?
Speaker 9: They have me on meds right now and I don't
Speaker 9: really like it, so probably.
Speaker 1: Good. I hope, I hope that everything works out for you.
Speaker 9: Thank you, man.
Speaker 1: You have a good rest of the night too.
Speaker 9: I will try to enjoy streams.
Speaker 1: I was the cheater for other people? What does that mean?
Speaker 2: All from David?
Speaker 1: David? Good while we're doing it? Not big?
Speaker 5: Oh my man, I didn't think I reached you?
Speaker 1: Man, Why didn't you think you'd reach me? You got
Speaker 1: you called the phone number?
Speaker 5: Well, I called earlier. I wasn't the other day that
Speaker 5: cheated you know? So I was the one that didn't
Speaker 5: stay on the line.
Speaker 1: Ah, I remember that. Yeah, I'm glad we finally got
Speaker 1: the chat with you. What's up man? How you doing?
Speaker 5: I'm doing all right. I'ma take some cookies, watching rush hour,
Speaker 5: watching your stream at the same.
Speaker 1: Time you're watching the movie rush Hour? Yeah, how can
Speaker 1: I ask? How were you? I don't understand media consumption
Speaker 1: habits these days, because I'll go to my friend's house
Speaker 1: and they got a movie on, they got a stream on,
Speaker 1: they got the Beatles playing, they're watching porn, they're doing
Speaker 1: they're brushing their teeth, Like, how do you do all
Speaker 1: these different things? How are you watching my stream? Man
Speaker 1: watching rush Hour? What's like taking dominance in your mind
Speaker 1: as you're processing all this information?
Speaker 5: Well, the majority of it, it's mostly Uh, when when
Speaker 5: you're talking to somebody and you're on your stream. I
Speaker 5: turned the volume up on your stream, and then I
Speaker 5: turned down with rush Hour. But then you know, as
Speaker 5: it gets boring or you know, the persons you know
Speaker 5: not interesting enough for me, I just turn up rush
Speaker 5: Hour and once it ends, I'll pause rush Hour. I
Speaker 5: gotta call him. I gotta call him.
Speaker 1: I'd love I would love to see, like, I mean,
Speaker 1: the data on what percentage of the stream you've selected
Speaker 1: to have it be the dominant thing over rush Hour?
Speaker 1: Like how often who? How often over the this this
Speaker 1: current stream? Did it get boring and you you put
Speaker 1: rush Hour on? I'd be completely I'm.
Speaker 5: Not gonna lie. I don't like I didn't like Curby girl,
Speaker 5: so I tuned her out for a bit. Like once
Speaker 5: you talk started talking about a therapist, was like, all right,
Speaker 5: he lying, I'm I'm gonna keep watching Rush Hour.
Speaker 1: I thought she was lying, Yeah, lying about about what the.
Speaker 5: Therapist telling her she needs to get help. Ain't no
Speaker 5: therapist gonna tell you that.
Speaker 1: I've there are some terrible therapists out there. By the way,
Speaker 1: have you ever been a therapy.
Speaker 5: I have, Bud. He was a Christian therapist, m but
Speaker 5: he gave good advice, you know, just at the end
Speaker 5: of it, he just prayed for me.
Speaker 1: You know, so, oh that's so stupid. I'm in no offense.
Speaker 1: I mean, but if I went to a therapist and
Speaker 1: they prayed for me, I would be so pissed off.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I understand. It's uh, he gives you advice.
Speaker 5: Let me tell you, God will work it out. So
Speaker 5: it's a little weird.
Speaker 1: Well if God, if you know what, that would piss
Speaker 1: me off too. If God is going to work it out,
Speaker 1: you know, why doesn't he just do it right now?
Speaker 1: Why what the hell is he waiting for?
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying, man, I still have to go
Speaker 5: to church because I made the deal with my boss
Speaker 5: and I lost. So I gotta go to church every
Speaker 5: Sunday with him.
Speaker 1: Now, you made a bet. What was the deal or
Speaker 1: the bet?
Speaker 5: Well, he said if he could get me out of
Speaker 5: West Virginia from an abusive job. Uh, I gotta go
Speaker 5: to church every Sunday if I worked for him, and
Speaker 5: I was like, well, ship, he did it. I don't
Speaker 5: know how he did it.
Speaker 1: But wait, this is wait. This man is making it
Speaker 1: so that one of the requirements of working for him
Speaker 1: is that you have to go to church.
Speaker 5: Yes, personal requirement.
Speaker 1: All right, it's just not an actual He's not going
Speaker 1: to fire you if you don't do it. But you're
Speaker 1: a man of your word and you agree to it. Yes,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about it? Have you been is?
Speaker 1: Have you been enjoying your church going experience?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Some of it. I mean it connects to how I've sinned,
Speaker 5: So it's uh, it's it's fun. It's all right. I
Speaker 5: just don't go to the I don't actually go inside.
Speaker 5: I just sit out there and drink coffee with the
Speaker 5: old people.
Speaker 1: Well, you're not serious, are you don't actually go in.
Speaker 6: I'm there.
Speaker 5: I mean, I have a personal relationship with pastor because
Speaker 5: he's just such a nice guy. You can't really he
Speaker 5: smiled that just like I gotta smile back.
Speaker 1: I know. It's so annoying. I mean we had too,
Speaker 1: we had that Catholic guy calling. He was so nice.
Speaker 1: It's so annoying when they're nice, because then it makes
Speaker 1: you want to not be mean about religion because they're
Speaker 1: nice people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's how.
Speaker 1: How had you sinned? What was What's that you said?
Speaker 1: This is in connection to your sin?
Speaker 5: Uh? It connected because I talked to one of the
Speaker 5: old people and church about it. But back in the day,
Speaker 5: I stole a lot, So I don't know. Back in
Speaker 5: the day, I'd say probably middle school, high school. I
Speaker 5: lived in Detroit, and I stole a lot of things.
Speaker 5: I stole from my family, primarily my dad. I didn't
Speaker 5: like my dad at the time, but.
Speaker 6: Stole lot through money everywhere, stole for.
Speaker 5: A lot of I think they were blood. They wore
Speaker 5: a lot of red, That's about it. But I mean
Speaker 5: still have their off days and we're purple for some
Speaker 5: fucking reasons.
Speaker 1: Still from bloods.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like no, not from blood. I stole things and
Speaker 5: sold it to them. It was more like a you
Speaker 5: got to survive out there type of thing.
Speaker 1: Were you in the gang?
Speaker 5: No, no, no no, I was too too uh too
Speaker 5: baby faced Asians for that.
Speaker 1: So okay, but.
Speaker 5: Uh, I don't know. I said, stolen things from you know,
Speaker 5: candy to whole entire washing machines and video games.
Speaker 1: How the fuck do you steal a washing machine?
Speaker 6: What was back in the day? Man?
Speaker 5: You know around like I'd say probably one two thousand
Speaker 5: and eight, you know, back in the day. And I
Speaker 5: walked into a Steers and I didn't look like a
Speaker 5: gang member or anything like that. I walked in with
Speaker 5: khaki a dress shirt. Just the excuse me, man, Can
Speaker 5: I just grab the doll and grab this display? Talked
Speaker 5: to them recently and they said at the last monle.
Speaker 6: Was doing to pay for He's, oh, yeah, sure, go ahead, honey.
Speaker 5: And you know you just got to stroll that shit
Speaker 5: out there, and that's it.
Speaker 1: Damn that. I'm not gonna lie like getting away with
Speaker 1: stealing with like stealing a washing machine could probably it
Speaker 1: probably seemed like gould feel really good. Just the act
Speaker 1: of that kind of feels like you pulled I mean
Speaker 1: because still on like whatever, some candy or whatever. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like you know, but I mean getting away with
Speaker 1: the washing machine. I mean that's a true heist. Score
Speaker 1: I don't know, man.
Speaker 5: I mean I gave up on it a long time ago.
Speaker 1: So there's two steps to that. You have to deceive
Speaker 1: the part you have a disguise.
Speaker 5: Kind of yeah, kind of, but that was actually who
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 1: All right, So you you stole a lot of things,
Speaker 1: and then and then you talked to it about you
Speaker 1: talked to this woman at church about this, and what
Speaker 1: did she have to tell you?
Speaker 5: Well, they tried to portray it to like my relationship
Speaker 5: with my father, because how it all started. I would
Speaker 5: steal money from him. And granted he wasn't a good
Speaker 5: father when I was a little kid, so my relationship
Speaker 5: with him wasn't that great. So he's old school, so
Speaker 5: he keeps his money and his illegal money under his mattress.
Speaker 5: So I wouldn't steel, like, you know, a couple bucks,
Speaker 5: I'd steel you know, two thousand and three thousand dollars
Speaker 5: every week.
Speaker 1: And how did you not notice that?
Speaker 5: Well, apparently this dude is rolling in money. I mean,
Speaker 5: I could go on and on about how you know,
Speaker 5: he's still a shitty father to me.
Speaker 1: But had enough that he wasn't noticing two thousand and
Speaker 1: three thousand bucks just a stock PI looks man.
Speaker 5: He had a nineteen eleven and uh, what's it called
Speaker 5: one of those fanny packs full of cash that you know,
Speaker 5: just had scrumpled up hundreds in it, you know, and
Speaker 5: then the other stuff were just like rolls of hundreds,
Speaker 5: and uh, you know, it is what it is. You know,
Speaker 5: I didn't. I was too young at the time to
Speaker 5: even care. You know. It's like I have money, I
Speaker 5: want money. But turns out, you know, like as I
Speaker 5: grew older and stuff like that. Yeah, he he uh,
Speaker 5: manages a lot of salons, dry cleaners, a lot of
Speaker 5: those places in the Asian community, so you know, so
Speaker 5: they give them cash because you know they have some
Speaker 5: of them have illegal businesses. And that's how it all started.
Speaker 5: But nonetheless, you just started talking about how, you know,
Speaker 5: why do you hate your father.
Speaker 2: Things like that, Well, because.
Speaker 6: You know, he's a.
Speaker 5: You know, I live in his shadow and I hated it.
Speaker 5: So you know, now I'm here, far far away from
Speaker 5: Michigan and living in the middle of nowhere in the
Speaker 5: woods and I don't know. I just told her. You know,
Speaker 5: I don't think I'll be able to forgive him now
Speaker 5: because I felt bad at one point I wanted to
Speaker 5: apologize and talent. But you know, the last time I
Speaker 5: talked to him, he said I was broke and a
Speaker 5: loser and laughed at me and I hung up. So
Speaker 5: you know, like, you know what he doesn't really need
Speaker 5: to know now, and you know that's how Asian families are.
Speaker 9: You know, M.
Speaker 1: Then you how long ago was this when you last
Speaker 1: talked to.
Speaker 5: Him, I'd say in August of last year?
Speaker 1: Hm, you have an all plans talk to him again?
Speaker 5: Well, I figured i'd call him for Father's Day next month,
Speaker 5: but I think he would just asked me if I'm
Speaker 5: making money yet, So kind of that thing where I
Speaker 5: need to reevaluate my relationship with him. But it's hard,
Speaker 5: you know, it's uh, he's not really you know, everything
Speaker 5: that I wanted to be when I was a kid
Speaker 5: with him, but now it's more like everything I don't
Speaker 5: want to be is him. M And uh, I don't know.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say he's the source of all my my
Speaker 5: my greatest sin, but it's one of the most sinful
Speaker 5: things I've done, I don't know. And I used to
Speaker 5: manipulate all my I don't know, my peers in school
Speaker 5: with money.
Speaker 1: Used to manipulate your peers in school with money, like
Speaker 1: you would pay them to do things for you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was fun to just throw twenty bucks on
Speaker 5: the floor and wash them fight over it. Things like
Speaker 5: that and amusement, because I knew that money wasn't mine,
Speaker 5: you know, like, hey man, you take this cheese stick
Speaker 5: and smack your friend, I'll give you twenty bucks. That's
Speaker 5: stupid stuff.
Speaker 8: You.
Speaker 1: I feel like you were like like like one of
Speaker 1: those people that stood at the top of in the
Speaker 1: balcony at the Roman Wars watching people that you know
Speaker 1: pitting fights for amusement.
Speaker 5: Well, that's you know, that's it was a lie.
Speaker 1: If I had disposable income at when I was in
Speaker 1: high school, I would definitely spend a little bit of
Speaker 1: it on initiating cheese steak fights. I think that, you
Speaker 1: know a lot of people might.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean I've honestly just probably did, because you know,
Speaker 5: I didn't want the affection, you know, like my dad
Speaker 5: didn't give me any affection or attention back when I
Speaker 5: was young or whatever. But you know, he right, you know,
Speaker 5: it is the same a lot of Asian Parents Day
Speaker 5: or whatever it is. Well, he's never really said that
Speaker 5: type of stuff. Mostly my dad just said the maggot
Speaker 5: time night and then that basically like damn this guy
Speaker 5: in a simplistic term. But you know, like I don't
Speaker 5: know a lot of shit like that. He never said
Speaker 5: anything else like he was proud of me or something
Speaker 5: like that.
Speaker 1: He just well, so it sounds to me like now,
Speaker 1: I mean now though, it sounds to me like now
Speaker 1: you've you've you've sort of got your own life going. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's awesome. It's I you know, I feel for
Speaker 1: we get we get people calling in being like, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to do something that I make my family
Speaker 1: proud of me and this and that, and you know,
Speaker 1: I it's it's cool when when people are able to
Speaker 1: move past that and be able to build something just independently.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, And I'll tell you what I'm trying. I'm
Speaker 5: getting there. But it's not only like it's trying to
Speaker 5: pick up the pieces after you get out. I got out,
Speaker 5: but it's uh, now it's I gotta I gotta get
Speaker 5: the rest of my siblings out. You know, we all
Speaker 5: came out pretty messed up from whatever happened with our family.
Speaker 1: So do and if your siblings live uh near where
Speaker 1: you live.
Speaker 5: Oh, my sister does, but she she got affected up
Speaker 5: my dad pretty heavily. So she's on that you know,
Speaker 5: you need to be successful blah blah blah blah and
Speaker 5: have enough money, David. And you know, they shunned me
Speaker 5: for about a year and I wasn't allowed to go
Speaker 5: to uh family gatherings or anything like that for about
Speaker 5: a year because I've actually told him, hey, bug off,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna do whatever I want to do. And I
Speaker 5: was all right, well, don't talk to them. And I
Speaker 5: was like, well, that's sucks.
Speaker 1: And then listen before we go, I mean, what's your
Speaker 1: what's your your dream goal?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 5: I just want to honestly, I just wanted to be
Speaker 5: content with myself. I just want to be acknowledged by myself.
Speaker 1: I like that. I think that that's a good goal.
Speaker 1: I think that. You know, Look, I'm priort of you, man.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you've been able to get a good
Speaker 1: dent in that by moving away from from your family.
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't do that. A lot of
Speaker 1: people will just succumb to, you know, living by their parents'
Speaker 1: expectations for their entire life. But you know, even though
Speaker 1: it's hard, I'm glad to hear you making a dent
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thanks man, Thanks man, It means a lot. I
Speaker 5: can't even I can't even believe I got.
Speaker 1: A phone call with you, you know for sure.
Speaker 5: Man, I've been watching you for a long time, called
Speaker 5: you like fifty times to night, told everyone I knew
Speaker 5: about you. Like, man, it seems like a cool guy.
Speaker 5: I gotta talk to him.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, did what you say your name was? Your
Speaker 1: name was? I'm not gonna guess because I'm going to
Speaker 1: get wrong. What's your name was?
Speaker 5: David?
Speaker 1: David? Okay? I was going to guess Philip and that
Speaker 1: would have been wrong. Well, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: calling David. You ever one for us to the night,
Speaker 1: you too, thinks.
Speaker 10: All from Jim, Jim, that's me?
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 4: How you doing?
Speaker 1: Lie? Say your name was Jim?
Speaker 10: Correct?
Speaker 1: Jay? I am you spell that again?
Speaker 5: Jay?
Speaker 4: I am?
Speaker 1: Can you spell back?
Speaker 6: Am? I? I?
Speaker 4: Jay?
Speaker 1: How have you sinned? Jim?
Speaker 10: Oh lyle? This is this is not our recent sin.
Speaker 10: It happened a quite a long time ago when I
Speaker 10: was Oh, I don't know, played eighteen or nineteen. I'm
Speaker 10: thirty one now, mm hmmm. We lived on a lake,
Speaker 10: and I guess I don't even know if it's really
Speaker 10: a sin. It's just kind of something that's fucked up.
Speaker 10: But I kind of think about more often than that.
Speaker 5: Shill.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 10: So we were We lived on a lake, I said,
Speaker 10: by the by the dock. This tiny little bird flew
Speaker 10: up and landed in the water, and it landed far
Speaker 10: out in the water, far enough to where I couldn't
Speaker 10: grab it. And it wasn't there for about a minute
Speaker 10: before it folded, you know, close enough to where I
Speaker 10: could reach the bird. I pulled the bird out of
Speaker 10: the water, and it is struggling to breathe. It's it's
Speaker 10: in a bad place, and morally, I didn't feel that
Speaker 10: I should sit there and let the bird struggle like that. Now,
Speaker 10: I'm I'm no avi ay expert by any means, but
Speaker 10: I assumed the bird was going to die.
Speaker 1: So where was the bird? Wait? So the bird was
Speaker 1: the bird was dying already because it was because it
Speaker 1: was drowning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe it was.
Speaker 10: So I pulled it out of the water and it
Speaker 10: was just like and I just I didn't I don't know.
Speaker 10: It just it felt bad. It felt really bad to
Speaker 10: sit there and watch the bird making that noise.
Speaker 1: Mmmm. Well, I guess you, I guess if you put
Speaker 1: it out of his miseries, that is.
Speaker 10: That that is where it's going to lead to. Yes,
Speaker 10: I put the bird off its misery. But I just
Speaker 10: don't know if.
Speaker 1: I was not that bad because if you but I
Speaker 1: guess you didn't, you didn't know, Like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would have done there. I
Speaker 1: don't know what I would have done there.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I just I don't know, Like like I said, like,
Speaker 10: I'm not really a sin per se, but it's it's
Speaker 10: not maybe the the right thing to have done at
Speaker 10: the time.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know what I would have done because
Speaker 1: if the bird, because if the bird, you know, you
Speaker 1: didn't want to watch the bird just sit there and
Speaker 1: riose in pain?
Speaker 6: Yes, correct, I mean, and you're not you.
Speaker 1: Don't know how to fits not like you are a bird.
Speaker 1: You can fix it.
Speaker 10: No, And I taking it to a veterinarian or the
Speaker 10: animal rescue center kind of seemed out of the picture
Speaker 10: at that point in time.
Speaker 1: Damn. Yeah, it was a tough decision.
Speaker 4: I agree.
Speaker 10: I agree it was, and I'm just not sure if
Speaker 10: I made the right decision at the time. Like I said,
Speaker 10: it's not recent. This happened quite quite some time ago,
Speaker 10: but I do think about it every now and again,
Speaker 10: more often than I should.
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: What when you think about it? What sort of thoughts
Speaker 1: do you have that ship man?
Speaker 10: Did I do the right thing? Was that the right
Speaker 10: choice to make?
Speaker 6: Mmm?
Speaker 1: Have you talked about this with anyone else?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 10: No, not really?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm No.
Speaker 10: I mean, I'm sure somebody knows. I'm sure my mom
Speaker 10: knows about it or something. I'm sure I told her
Speaker 10: when it happened, but recently.
Speaker 1: So when you told your mom what happened, what did
Speaker 1: she said? Did she think you did the the correct thing?
Speaker 10: I think she said something similar to, well, that's kind
Speaker 10: of fucked up, Jim.
Speaker 1: But you know, you know, she just said, she just
Speaker 1: said that's kind of fucked up, and then she walked away.
Speaker 10: Dude, Well how she didn't walk away? I mean, I
Speaker 10: think we continued to talk about it, but.
Speaker 8: It was it was kind of fucked up.
Speaker 1: Make dinner.
Speaker 10: I don't know if you made dinner. I don't regab
Speaker 10: what happened the rest of that day. I might have
Speaker 10: eaten that bird.
Speaker 6: I'm just kidding.
Speaker 10: We didn't eat the bird. That that would be fucked up.
Speaker 1: No, that wouldn't have because all right, well theoretically if
Speaker 1: you ate that bird, wouldn't that have also been the
Speaker 1: right thing to do, because if you're supposed to use
Speaker 1: every part of the animal.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, I'll say, personally, if I die, you can eat
Speaker 1: me if you want. Just that's an open invitation. If
Speaker 1: there are any like, like if there are any cannibals
Speaker 1: out there, and like, you know how when you go
Speaker 1: to you know, when you're like if you're like addicted
Speaker 1: to like a drug or something, you got to rehab.
Speaker 1: They give you a little bit of the drug so
Speaker 1: you don't go through like intense withdrawal. Yeah, sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: if they have, if there's some sort of like rehab
Speaker 1: for cannibals where like cannibal, they turn in cannibals and
Speaker 1: they need to give them a little bit of human
Speaker 1: flesh or so so they don't go through withdraw I will,
Speaker 1: I'll glad volunteer to be the dead guy that they
Speaker 1: feed to the cannibals for that purpose, and you can
Speaker 1: eat me if you're dead. I mean, I'm just saying
Speaker 1: appreciate how I would feel. I mean the bird. I'm
Speaker 1: sure it didn't have like anything in his wallet about that,
Speaker 1: but I.
Speaker 10: Don't even think it had a concept of anything close
Speaker 10: to that.
Speaker 1: No, I don't know what kind of Maybe it's not
Speaker 1: with us.
Speaker 10: Yeah, probably that's just in the ground I buried it.
Speaker 10: That's where it's at.
Speaker 4: It's bones.
Speaker 10: Its bones, my guy.
Speaker 1: Well you know what, Jim, Soon enough will all be bones.
Speaker 10: That is the truest statement I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: You ever won for us in the night.
Speaker 10: Jim, you too, Lyle, thank you for your time.
Speaker 9: All from Josh Josh.
Speaker 2: Josh did not expect to make it on go figure.
Speaker 2: You never know what do you mean?
Speaker 8: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: And expect to make it on? Josh?
Speaker 2: You called, uh yeah, But statistically speaking, I wasn't going
Speaker 2: to make it on.
Speaker 1: Who cares about statistics? Josh. You have the heart of
Speaker 1: the cards and you're not You're not a hard guy.
Speaker 1: Have we spoken before, Josh?
Speaker 2: No, we have.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love I love this is so
Speaker 1: I'm so happy, Josh. I mean, not only do I
Speaker 1: get to be a kick on the computer. Every time
Speaker 1: I do this stream, I get to talk to tons
Speaker 1: of brand new people. This is this is incredible. I'm
Speaker 1: so happy you call in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you said, you said a few minutes ago. It's
Speaker 2: a one and done situation. So we have to make
Speaker 2: it good, right.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't have any exclusive like, that's not
Speaker 1: a rule. You know, I'm not going to hang up
Speaker 1: on you, because I feel like that would be you know. Look,
Speaker 1: I mean if if someone calls back in, if I
Speaker 1: get a return caller, you know, that's that's probably a
Speaker 1: person who you know has been with the stream for
Speaker 1: a while and you know, coming back, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: and I want to snub these people, you know, So
Speaker 1: I feel bad making it a rule. But at the
Speaker 1: same coin, you know a lot of people trying to
Speaker 1: get in, and you know, you know, anyway, we.
Speaker 2: Try to be fair. How are you, Josh, Well, I'm
Speaker 2: connecting my ears. So if I drop out for half
Speaker 2: a second, that's why here we go, it'll come.
Speaker 4: There. We are.
Speaker 2: So so how hast to out sinned?
Speaker 1: There's a question, right sure is how have you sinned?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 6: I have?
Speaker 2: I have failed to do everything that I can to
Speaker 2: be successful so that I can help other people.
Speaker 1: You have failed to do everything that you can to
Speaker 1: be successful that you can help other people. How old
Speaker 1: do you.
Speaker 2: For a few more days?
Speaker 6: Thirty eight?
Speaker 1: Why do you say you have failed thus far thus far? Okay,
Speaker 1: when you say you have failed to do everything you can,
Speaker 1: that's I mean, that's a whole big.
Speaker 2: Well Okay, yeah, that's a bit much. That's a bit much.
Speaker 2: How about I haven't achieved even you know, basic stable
Speaker 2: success for myself, so then I'm able to reach out
Speaker 2: to products.
Speaker 1: But you're not talking about achievements. You're talking about trying.
Speaker 1: You're saying I have failed to try. You have not
Speaker 1: that there's a failing to try and trying and failing.
Speaker 2: Well, obviously I haven't tried hard enough, have I?
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, before you do something, I think it's important
Speaker 1: to define what it is you actually are trying to do.
Speaker 1: So what is it that you are trying to do?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 2: What you know? They tell you on the airplane that
Speaker 2: you have to put your on mask on first? Right, Yes,
Speaker 2: you can't help you can't help anyone else if you
Speaker 2: if you're not in a position to sure. So so
Speaker 2: far I haven't put myself in a position to help anyone. Okay,
Speaker 2: I get up, But what do you put you.
Speaker 1: In a position to help other people?
Speaker 2: I mean, you know the basics, you know, having a
Speaker 2: stable job, having stable emotions, having a stable schedule, having
Speaker 2: you know, just general basic stability, things that most people
Speaker 2: should have and hopefully many.
Speaker 4: People do have.
Speaker 1: Have you made sort of concrete definitions of what stability
Speaker 1: looks like to you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And what are those definitions?
Speaker 2: I mean, having a home, having a job that has
Speaker 2: enough money to keep that home, keeping that home in order,
Speaker 2: enough money to pay your bills, you know, like, uh,
Speaker 2: enough money to see all the uh physical and mental
Speaker 2: health professionals you need to see, enough to uh to
Speaker 2: you know, engage in the self care that is needed
Speaker 2: to keep one healthy.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 8: Yeah mmm.
Speaker 1: Have you gone to see I mean for the you know,
Speaker 1: when you mentioned emotional stability, have you gone to see
Speaker 1: a license?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So I do not have uh uh an appropriate relationship,
Speaker 2: pirapeutic relationship with a mental health professional. It is a
Speaker 2: very daunting thing for me. I've reached out and tried
Speaker 2: a number of times. It hasn't worked out. And you know,
Speaker 2: you kind of you spend a lot of energy and efforts,
Speaker 2: you know, sewing your guts and what do you do
Speaker 2: you go for a while?
Speaker 1: What do you mean, what do you mean you've reached
Speaker 1: out to? What do you mean you've reached out?
Speaker 2: No, I've gone like I have gone. I'm engaged in
Speaker 2: the therapeutic process of me the appointments of people, and
Speaker 2: I've gone to see them and for a very long
Speaker 2: time time.
Speaker 1: So, by the way, by the way, first of all,
Speaker 1: first of all, you opened this with saying you haven't tried, okay,
Speaker 1: and that's wrong.
Speaker 2: You know well how you need it.
Speaker 1: Thus far, forget about whether I used to say that
Speaker 1: you've tried, you know, I just want to make it
Speaker 1: clear you've said, you said that you didn't try, and
Speaker 1: you you have tried.
Speaker 2: I would have to go back and remember my words.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's possible. It's possible that I wasn't giving
Speaker 2: myself enough credit in that particular sense. But the true,
Speaker 2: the true sin here, since that's what we're talking about,
Speaker 2: is that you know, I haven't I haven't leveraged my
Speaker 2: advantages and I haven't vanquished my challenges to the point
Speaker 2: where I can just participate and you know, not be
Speaker 2: a drain on society and be an additive factor.
Speaker 1: Okay, when you've gone to you said, you've reached out
Speaker 1: to these professionals, what and you I'm assuming you've told
Speaker 1: them everything you've told me to.
Speaker 2: A degree or another. I mean, this is you know,
Speaker 2: it's been over a long span of time. In my view,
Speaker 2: hasn't always been quite so clear.
Speaker 1: And when you tell them what you tell when when
Speaker 1: you tell these therapists what you have told me, what
Speaker 1: do they tell you?
Speaker 2: Some of them resonate, some of them don't. A lot
Speaker 2: of them are hacks. A lot of them are trying
Speaker 2: and are just in the wrong profession. Uh, very few
Speaker 2: have actually gotten any respect for me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Interesting. You know the term hack I used to do
Speaker 1: stand up and that was a big thing. That that's
Speaker 1: that's a that's a big term, and stand up a hack,
Speaker 1: I think stand up a little bit. But it's funny.
Speaker 1: I've never heard that in uhuh being I kind of
Speaker 1: actually I actually kind of like that a little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know it's cynical.
Speaker 2: Uh well, yeah, you more hack you and more expect
Speaker 2: to hear a quack. But that's like a question stronger, Yeah,
Speaker 2: a quack is usually uh, you know, in the medical sense,
Speaker 2: you know, quack doctors, but.
Speaker 1: A hack quack to me quack and hack, because a
Speaker 1: quack to me is someone who practices something that's fake,
Speaker 1: where a hack is someone that.
Speaker 2: Practice is something real poorly. Yes, yeah, yeah, that works.
Speaker 1: But I I I think hack is a funny way
Speaker 1: to describe a therapist. A lot of them are a
Speaker 1: bad one, Yeah, a lot of I'm not I.
Speaker 2: Don't mean to pain, yeah, and I don't. So that's
Speaker 2: the thing. I don't know. They're not all hacks. A
Speaker 2: lot of them. A lot of them are that thing
Speaker 2: I don't need to paint everybody, especially there's there's you.
Speaker 6: Know, there's a whole there's a whole herd.
Speaker 2: Of magical unicorn therapists out there, and like I gotta
Speaker 2: go catch one or one or something. But like it's
Speaker 2: a it's a daunting task.
Speaker 4: Hm hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well you've tried.
Speaker 2: I've put in some time. Did you stop trying? I
Speaker 2: I haven't put in effort in a very.
Speaker 1: Long time, okay. Or do you have a Do you
Speaker 1: have a job.
Speaker 2: I could have a job.
Speaker 6: How's that one?
Speaker 2: Uh, there's been work that's available to me that I've
Speaker 2: been unable to overcome my anxiety and go do okay.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like, uh okay, So it sounds like
Speaker 1: you got to get the the first thing we've been
Speaker 1: talking about, which is, you know, mental health help before
Speaker 1: you go out and get a job. You know you
Speaker 1: you don't want to be taking on all your demons at.
Speaker 2: Once, one thing at a time, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, mm hmm. Why is there such a daunting task
Speaker 1: for you to find the therapist?
Speaker 2: Hcause because I've put too much on it. Really, really,
Speaker 2: all I need, all I need to get going is
Speaker 2: someone who can like effectively be an executive assistance, like
Speaker 2: that would get my day to day j I'm started,
Speaker 2: and I don't have to get into these psychoanalysis until
Speaker 2: part sometimes, but you know, I kind of lump it
Speaker 2: all together and it's like if I go once, then
Speaker 2: I want that person to be my everything and like
Speaker 2: it black and white, thinking it's not super healthy.
Speaker 1: You said you need an executive assistant? What do you
Speaker 1: What do you mean that? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like if so, what I mean is, you know, you
Speaker 2: know how like being rich in the United States, like
Speaker 2: it doesn't fix problems, but sometimes it does, and sometimes
Speaker 2: it just helps you avoid them. So there are executives
Speaker 2: that I've worked with, and you know this, this this
Speaker 2: personality type is parody in media everywhere. They're a mess.
Speaker 2: They're a complete mess, and the only reason they're able
Speaker 2: to function in everyday life is because they have people
Speaker 2: who they pay to do things for them. So that's
Speaker 2: a realistic thing. Like if I literally just had the
Speaker 2: money to pay an executive assistant and kept the schedule,
Speaker 2: kept me on target, et cetera, you know, poke me
Speaker 2: in the dressing that I needed to go and definitely
Speaker 2: enough to get me started. But no one has that
Speaker 2: kind of money.
Speaker 1: You know, Well, okay, if you needed well okay, well
Speaker 1: here I'm confused because you're painting a picture of yourself
Speaker 1: as you're you're painting this image of yourself as you say,
Speaker 1: you're not contributing to society, but you have enough to do.
Speaker 1: You have enough that you need to do that would require.
Speaker 2: An assistant, I know, like even basic Okay, I'm saying
Speaker 2: the effective equivalent of that, not like the actual dude
Speaker 2: that's his business test. I mean from basic everyday such
Speaker 2: like you know, like just functioning.
Speaker 1: Okay, you need hell function? I mean, are you have
Speaker 1: you you know, have you been diagnosed with like a
Speaker 1: legitimate mental illness.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've received diagnoses of major depressions disorder and borderline
Speaker 2: personality disorder.
Speaker 1: You you should, again, man, I mean there's not There's
Speaker 1: not a whole lot I can tell you, but you
Speaker 1: should continue to definitely, you know. Well, one thing I
Speaker 1: do want to tell you, and I'm not a real
Speaker 1: therapist or anything.
Speaker 2: I'm not, you know, no, but you're a thoughtful sould
Speaker 2: who usually has good opinions.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, then here's what I'll tell you. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you uh uh. You started this out by saying that
Speaker 1: you haven't been trying, which we determined is not true.
Speaker 1: You have been trying. You've been putting an effort. I would,
Speaker 1: if I were you, just continue to put in that
Speaker 1: effort and you will eventually, I believe, find a mental
Speaker 1: health professional that clicks with you. And it sounds like
Speaker 1: that's really what you need, and so I.
Speaker 2: Would answers find ye. Yeah, the answer is always just
Speaker 2: do it. It's it's difficult to you know, to find
Speaker 2: the strength to do that, especially after at risk of
Speaker 2: you know, I don't want to turn the conversation political,
Speaker 2: but it's been five years of socio political trauma and
Speaker 2: it's been pretty harsh.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, keep keep staying in the path, man,
Speaker 1: keep trying to find someone that's the best I can
Speaker 1: tell you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's the best anyone could. That's the thing,
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's it's just you know, you need
Speaker 2: to hear it as often as possible, and hear it
Speaker 2: from the right people as all.
Speaker 1: Of course. Man, I appreciate you sharing, Josh Josh right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's the word.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well done. I don't know if my brother is listening,
Speaker 2: but he's He told me that I have to watch
Speaker 2: your show.
Speaker 1: So helliat, what what's your relationship with your brother?
Speaker 7: Like?
Speaker 2: Uh, he's the only one in my family that I
Speaker 2: can be particularly close to. All the rest of them
Speaker 2: are awful conservatives of some sort or another.
Speaker 1: Okay, when you tell real quick before we go, because
Speaker 1: I'm curious about this. When you tell all this stuff
Speaker 1: to your brother, I'm assuming you have because you're probably
Speaker 1: you're closer with him than you are with me, and
Speaker 1: you've told me all this stuff.
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell him to watch the odds, So.
Speaker 1: All right, tell him to watch the vod and then
Speaker 1: listen to what he says, because he seems like he's
Speaker 1: a smart guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, he knows this stuff. You know,
Speaker 2: what is it?
Speaker 4: What is it?
Speaker 1: What does he usually tell you when you when you
Speaker 1: come to him for advice?
Speaker 2: Uh, you know, there's not really anything that anyone can
Speaker 2: tell me. And and and that's the thing. It's like, Uh,
Speaker 2: sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is
Speaker 2: just let them know that you're there for them and
Speaker 2: not tell them what to do.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well listen, man, you have a good rest
Speaker 1: of the night, Josh, and good luck to you.
Speaker 2: For you too. I appreciate your time. Good man, I
Speaker 2: have a good thing.
Speaker 1: That was thirteen minutes that did not feel like thirteen minutes.
Speaker 9: All from what Mark?
Speaker 7: Tick?
Speaker 1: Stop? Yeah? How you doing? Doug?
Speaker 5: Hello?
Speaker 1: Hey, what's up?
Speaker 6: Player? What's going on?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 1: What's what's up with you? How have you? Sin?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 1: Big?
Speaker 3: A genre?
Speaker 9: Man?
Speaker 3: All around?
Speaker 1: A genre? Like a genre, a genre of sin.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You you tell me what you got?
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 1: You you tell me? Where are we going here?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 4: Shit?
Speaker 3: In directions man on the nearest sin that would be
Speaker 3: worth a ship. Not so much lately now that I'm
Speaker 3: a dad man. But you know, when I was a kid,
Speaker 3: I was shipped.
Speaker 1: When you were a kid, you were a piece of
Speaker 1: ship pretty much. How so that's the worst thing you did.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna make it's not gonna make me. It's
Speaker 1: not gonna it's not gonna piss me off.
Speaker 9: Is it?
Speaker 3: No, not going to piss you off. No, I'm I'm
Speaker 3: an actual piece of ship.
Speaker 1: Would you would you do when you were a kid?
Speaker 3: Oh, just steady sold drugs, was a piece of ship,
Speaker 3: lied a lot and thought I was all about myself.
Speaker 3: But you know, when you have kids, man, it starts
Speaker 3: to do your reality chick.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Okay, so you you you have kids now?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1: Are your kids anything like how you were when you
Speaker 1: were a kid?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not?
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Uh what why do you think that is? Do you
Speaker 1: think that the way that you raise them is different
Speaker 1: than how you were raised?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: In fact, in fact absolutely, you know, learn from the
Speaker 3: mistakes and travel forward.
Speaker 1: That's really cool because you know a lot of the
Speaker 1: times you hear about, you know, sort of chains of that.
Speaker 9: Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, your your dad treats you shitty, so you
Speaker 1: treat your kids shitty. You know, it sounds like you've
Speaker 1: broaken broken a chain of sorts.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, man, My kids are happy and healthy, man, in
Speaker 3: the right direction. That's just wasn't lucky enough to have
Speaker 3: that direction. Man, it's all.
Speaker 1: That's cool. What do you think factored into that? What
Speaker 1: do you think I'm allowed you to break this chain?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 3: The fear?
Speaker 6: Man.
Speaker 3: I've never really been scared in my life until the
Speaker 3: first pregnancy. Man, I didn't. I didn't realize how scared
Speaker 3: shit actually got. So that kind of stacked me up
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Why were you scared?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: Man, I was.
Speaker 3: I wasn't doing a very good job of taking care
Speaker 3: of myself. Man's scared shit at me home. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: take care of somebody else that needs you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. It's just reality. I was living life for me, man,
Speaker 3: that's all. That's a pretty self centered, shitty way of
Speaker 3: going mm hmm.
Speaker 1: You know, to talk about I I initially I didn't
Speaker 1: want to talk about the previous car, but I want
Speaker 1: to bring up sort of what they were talking about
Speaker 1: because they were mentioning, you know, and I sort of
Speaker 1: have my own thoughts about this. You know, they're mentioning
Speaker 1: that you know, it's important to take care of yourself
Speaker 1: before you take care of others. And you know, I
Speaker 1: don't have a refined I generally believe that, but I
Speaker 1: have read some things about how you know, and thought
Speaker 1: of in my own head of some things of like
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like you can do both simultaneously,
Speaker 1: or help others as a way of helping yourself.
Speaker 3: Oh kind of man, It kind of comes down to
Speaker 3: that old school shit. Can't help unless you help yourself,
Speaker 3: Like I can't help if I'm not producing to help them.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm still being a jackass. And you got
Speaker 3: to lead by example, and you know.
Speaker 2: The whole thing.
Speaker 1: What would you say is the biggest difference between you
Speaker 1: now and you then? If you have to pick one
Speaker 1: key aspect caring? Caring? You care? You didn't care then,
Speaker 1: but now you care. We had a caller This is
Speaker 1: kind of a round out the evening here. We had
Speaker 1: a caller towards the beginning and she was telling us
Speaker 1: that she's about nineteen and she did not care about anything,
Speaker 1: did not care about other people, had a hard time caring.
Speaker 1: What would you say to someone like that? It has
Speaker 1: a hard time caring?
Speaker 3: Well, you can't make anybody care. You know, they have
Speaker 3: to find something to give a shit about. You know,
Speaker 3: something has to be important to them, you know. I mean,
Speaker 3: not caring is kind of a mental illness, man. It's
Speaker 3: just a self centered way of life. And some people
Speaker 3: get stuck in it, man. They find safety and security
Speaker 3: in it, man, because they don't want to trust anybody else,
Speaker 3: and if they care about somebody else, that leaves them
Speaker 3: open to get hurt and shit. You know, you know
Speaker 3: it's a scary thing.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like to me, your solution to that
Speaker 1: was that you ended up finding something that you cared about.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean I didn't find it, kind of
Speaker 3: found me, you know it. You know it's I mean,
Speaker 3: you know how accidental pregnancy works, and so I was
Speaker 3: just it was just the eye opener for me, man.
Speaker 3: You know, I just realized that, holy shit, man, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna have to take care of this little midget that
Speaker 3: genuinely needs me. Man, And you know, it changed my life.
Speaker 1: How many kids do you have?
Speaker 3: I have two?
Speaker 1: No, for the second. Second one was an accident. First, okay, cool?
Speaker 1: How old are I?
Speaker 3: My oldest is sixteen and my youngest is eight.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Okay, sixteen is cool because you can I
Speaker 1: feel they're like a real person.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, it's really cool watching them grow. We're actually friends.
Speaker 3: You communicate. Man, it's really awesome see his personality and
Speaker 3: it's really awesome.
Speaker 1: Do you have any activities in particularly like to do
Speaker 1: with your son?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he gets into art. And when I was younger,
Speaker 3: I used to write graph a lot and I got
Speaker 3: somewhat some are pretty good. I got putting a couple
Speaker 3: of magazines and shit like that. And when he got old,
Speaker 3: ye showing the stuff. Man, I started showing him and
Speaker 3: I told him I'm not cool with him going out
Speaker 3: fucking know people ship like I was.
Speaker 9: But he can.
Speaker 3: You know, he can draw on black books and inspire
Speaker 3: himself and find different art, different ways to express himselves.
Speaker 1: You know, are you still involved as an artist in anyway?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily go out and smash it anymore, but
Speaker 3: if I do any kind of kid up, man, nowadays,
Speaker 3: I'm kind of a kind of what I used to
Speaker 3: hate when I was a kid. But I only really
Speaker 3: hit legal ship now man, because you know, how do
Speaker 3: I tell my kid I'm in jail for painting somebody
Speaker 3: else's ship.
Speaker 1: Uh, that's what you do for a living.
Speaker 3: I'm curious actually build customer motorcycles.
Speaker 1: Man, that sounds really cool. Are you do you like
Speaker 1: is there any artistry in that? Do you like paint
Speaker 1: them or graffiti type?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, design?
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily paint. My part of the shop is
Speaker 3: is fabricating and giving a lot of ideas for design
Speaker 3: for their bike because a lot of guys are coming
Speaker 3: with money but no creativity, and that's kind of where
Speaker 3: I coming in.
Speaker 1: That's awesome, man. M hmm. Do you do you see
Speaker 1: anything in your son that maybe uh you had in
Speaker 1: you when you were sixteen that you didn't like that
Speaker 1: worries you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, a little bit of a little bit of
Speaker 3: paranoia about my surroundings and ship. But that came from
Speaker 3: just not having anybody to talk to. Man, And he
Speaker 3: has somebody to talk to, so you know, he can
Speaker 3: he can be completely honest with me, man, even if
Speaker 3: he's gonna get in trouble or whatever. You know, he
Speaker 3: knows he can trust me. So yeah, he you know,
Speaker 3: he has all those little little traits I used to have,
Speaker 3: you know, but you know he's got somebody to talk to.
Speaker 3: That's a difference.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. And are you married?
Speaker 3: I was, and thank god I'm not anymore because that
Speaker 3: was fucking hell mhm.
Speaker 1: Uh Are you single now you're dating anyone?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a girlfriend. Man, she's fucking she's pretty awesome.
Speaker 3: Kind of YouTube new to my GIMI ship about girls, man,
Speaker 3: which is pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Do the kids like her?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, that's that's the number one.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 3: That's kids don't get along with it, no matter how
Speaker 3: much I like her. Issues out m.
Speaker 1: Seems like you got you got a good life.
Speaker 7: Man.
Speaker 1: You gotta have some good stuff going on, you know.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're a good success story for you
Speaker 1: know a lot of people. I mean, because you're how
Speaker 1: old you good for I guess I am.
Speaker 3: I'm actually forty now.
Speaker 6: Man.
Speaker 3: It's fucking crazy seeing it. I love but I'm forty now.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I see. That's cool to me because you
Speaker 1: know we've had you know, I know it's awesome because
Speaker 1: I love I love having like you know, younger callers
Speaker 1: and older collers are in the same thing. Because you know,
Speaker 1: we had that girl earlier who was like, I don't
Speaker 1: care about anything. I don't care about anything, and it's
Speaker 1: like you know, it's cool to see how you can
Speaker 1: evolve from you know, not caring about anything or having had,
Speaker 1: you know, a shitty past or anything, into you know,
Speaker 1: having a pretty good life and a family and the
Speaker 1: thing you enjoy doing.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you right now, if she was, if she
Speaker 3: was claiming that she didn't care so much and trying
Speaker 3: to convince people, that mean she probably does care about something.
Speaker 3: She definitely doesn't want anybody to know that.
Speaker 1: Well, listen to God, this is a pleasure talking to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you too, man to meet together?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did you have the rest of the name?
Speaker 3: YouTube?
Speaker 7: All from Tim?
Speaker 6: Tim?
Speaker 4: Baby? What up?
Speaker 1: Not much going with you?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 8: Uh?
Speaker 1: What are you doing right now? Tim?
Speaker 7: I'm reading, uh, reading the chat and listening to your stream.
Speaker 1: You're reading anything good going on in the chat? I
Speaker 1: hope you're not reading chat right now? But was anything?
Speaker 1: Was anything interesting happening?
Speaker 7: Not much? People are just being mean to other people.
Speaker 7: That's what goes down, you think.
Speaker 1: So, you know, here's what I you know, what I'll
Speaker 1: say about that is that I often I've done this before.
Speaker 1: Actually I've rot Sometimes i go back and I'll rewatch
Speaker 1: my VODs because I'm curious, you know, I do. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't read the chat a whole lot
Speaker 1: when I'm on the phone, so you know, I'll sometimes
Speaker 1: I go back and I'll read it in the VODs,
Speaker 1: but I'll sometimes I've done this before, I'll count I'll
Speaker 1: watch the chat and I'll count the comments in terms
Speaker 1: of like, uh, okay, that's a good one, that's a
Speaker 1: nice one, that's a nice one, that's neutral, that's neutral,
Speaker 1: that's mean, that's neutral, that's nice, that's nice, that's mean,
Speaker 1: that's mean, And I'll count them, and I'll be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what's you know. There's gotta be some sort of I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in the process of developing some sort
Speaker 1: of mathematical equation for this where you could just plug
Speaker 1: in a VOD and you can get a number, like
Speaker 1: a score of how nice your chat is. That would
Speaker 1: be interesting, But.
Speaker 7: That again, you look a scanner on your your chat
Speaker 7: or something.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean, I'll have this and just said, this
Speaker 1: would be an interesting thing to be invented, some sort
Speaker 1: of chat scanner that could because the hard part of
Speaker 1: that is how do you out I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: I'm not a computer person, but how do you get
Speaker 1: a computer to judge whether or not a sentence is mean,
Speaker 1: nice or neutral. But yeah, machine learning something like that,
Speaker 1: I'll go through in my own because like if someone
Speaker 1: is like because like let's say someone types in, you know,
Speaker 1: fuck this guy, you know, uh, you know, that's a
Speaker 1: bad you know, if the thing reads fuck, and then
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, that's bad. But if someone's like,
Speaker 1: this guy is fucking cool, then that's a good one.
Speaker 1: But it says fuck. Anyway, I'll go through my own
Speaker 1: sample sizes. I've noticed the chat is majority like eighty
Speaker 1: percent at least, which I think is pretty good. Eighty
Speaker 1: percent pretty positive, you know. But the thing is, the
Speaker 1: thing is I mean, this is just the thing in general.
Speaker 1: This is the thing in general when you're on the
Speaker 1: internet and in life and the mean stuff it's, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: just the way that our brains work. It's so much
Speaker 1: more potent than the nice stuff. You notice it more
Speaker 1: even if there's less.
Speaker 7: Of it, right, Yeah, I know, it's like it sticks
Speaker 7: out because it's negative basically, it's what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that always bothers me because then, like you know,
Speaker 1: if there's a chat going on and you know, nine
Speaker 1: people are being nice, and one of them is mean.
Speaker 1: You know, people will be like, oh, the chat's being mean,
Speaker 1: but it's like, no, nine, it's just the one person.
Speaker 1: But they are like harnessing the power of the negativity,
Speaker 1: which is you know, yeah, I get you. I hate
Speaker 1: when I promised I'm gonna stop ranting in two seconds,
Speaker 1: but I hate when like I'll go on I've noticed
Speaker 1: the thing. I'll go on Twitter and they'll be like
Speaker 1: a celebrity or some Twitter person like having a public
Speaker 1: argument with I don't know, let's say it's like Chrissy
Speaker 1: Tiagan or whatever. I'll use her as example, Like if
Speaker 1: Christy Tagan's having an argument with someone, like clapping back
Speaker 1: at someone who said something mean about her, and then
Speaker 1: she types something he said, and I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: You're spending time and I got to take my own
Speaker 1: advice on this, but I'm like, you're spending time engaging
Speaker 1: with this person that hates you. Meanwhile, you've got thousands
Speaker 1: of unread dms that are like, yeah, I love you, You're incredible,
Speaker 1: and you're just you're like, ah, this is what. There's
Speaker 1: an abundance to that. You see one mean person, you
Speaker 1: engage with that and I'm like, well, why are you
Speaker 1: engaging with the one bad person? You got all these
Speaker 1: but nice people that you just you're leaving on red.
Speaker 1: You're choosing to elevate the one mean part. I never
Speaker 1: got that. I never stood that on Twitter anyway.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's no reason to focus on the negativity. I
Speaker 7: guess you're right, like all the positive thoughts are basically
Speaker 7: kind of what you should be focusing on, and don't
Speaker 7: be don't be a negative Nancy. I guess right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like if someone someone types out one of these
Speaker 1: actors like, oh, your movie sucks, and then in a retweet,
Speaker 1: and the meanwhile, under that tweet, there's fifty different tweets
Speaker 1: being like that movie is awesome, and they never they
Speaker 1: never type back to the people who say your movie's awesome,
Speaker 1: never goes oh thank you. I appreciate that they always
Speaker 1: go the type of one guy, your movie sucks, Well
Speaker 1: you should you know die anyway? How about you soon?
Speaker 7: My name's not actually Tim, so that's sim SI number one.
Speaker 1: But lying that's a sin, yeah number one. Have you
Speaker 1: I was at the first one, as were you a
Speaker 1: clean slate before you called in?
Speaker 7: Not really a clean slate? I don't think anybody is, But.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 7: You know, everybody does stuff they don't they don't really
Speaker 7: want to do. I guess it's like it's hard to
Speaker 7: think about the thing, like I you know, most people
Speaker 7: don't as long as you live your life and you're happy,
Speaker 7: I guess I don't know. Like there's a guy that
Speaker 7: called in earlier that said, you know, he's religious, and
Speaker 7: you know, I agree as well. I'm I consider myself
Speaker 7: slightly religious, but I think to a certain point, you know,
Speaker 7: like I think, you know, as long as if that
Speaker 7: helps you, that's awesome. Like I love that idea. I
Speaker 7: love the idea that like, if you can think about
Speaker 7: something that made somebody else feel bad, and you can
Speaker 7: you can get that off your chest. Hopefully it's you know,
Speaker 7: making recompense with somebody else that you've wronged. I think
Speaker 7: that's the best way to go about life, not to
Speaker 7: steer around the conversation. But I don't think I've done
Speaker 7: too much wrong recently. I think, you know, maybe you
Speaker 7: know doing this you speed every once in a while
Speaker 7: or whatever.
Speaker 1: Well, listen you first of all, your name isn't Tim.
Speaker 1: You lied and lying was your sin? Do you lie often?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 7: I don't think so this is.
Speaker 1: Rare for you to lie. Do you remember any lies
Speaker 1: that you've told in the past before the one you
Speaker 1: told this evening, which, by the way, you know, you
Speaker 1: came clean about the lie pretty quick. I feel like
Speaker 1: this is only I mean, in terms of lie points,
Speaker 1: you probably get back seventy five percent of your lie.
Speaker 1: So you've probably came out about twenty five percent of
Speaker 1: a lie because you came clean about the lie almost immediately.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a long, calm lie you didn't have. You
Speaker 1: didn't you didn't really build any compound interest on that lie.
Speaker 1: So you're a clean slate. You're getting into heaven. How
Speaker 1: are you excited?
Speaker 7: Uh No, I don't think that's always true. You gotta
Speaker 7: there's always things that you gotta you know, was it
Speaker 7: a confessed or whatever before you get to heaven. So
Speaker 7: I don't know. There's there's always things and things in
Speaker 7: life you regret doing.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: See, that's I'm not going to get into heaven because
Speaker 1: if you're telling me that it takes if to get
Speaker 1: into heaven, all you have to do is not kill people.
Speaker 1: I'm getting in, but if you have to take act,
Speaker 1: hopefully I'm getting in. Yeah, well, if I mean, I
Speaker 1: drive a car, so every day I could theoretically end
Speaker 1: up killing someone accidentally. You know, I mean, I text
Speaker 1: and dry everyone's texting, I'm playing. I play Flappy Bird
Speaker 1: while I'm driving because I get bored, and no I don't.
Speaker 1: Actually I play duetal Jump and uh, you know, so
Speaker 1: I could kill someone, but for now I haven't. So
Speaker 1: I'm good. But if you have to do anything act,
Speaker 1: if you have to actively do good things or actively
Speaker 1: pray to God, I'm not I'm not getting it. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm too lazy for that, even if it's all
Speaker 1: even if it's all of eternity and I only have
Speaker 1: to do it, I'm I'm not kidding in. But I
Speaker 1: haven't killed anyone.
Speaker 7: Mh.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, thank you for I'm not gonna lie I
Speaker 1: did about I talked over you. I talked for the
Speaker 1: majority of this. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 7: I'm feeling like I made you feel better, which is
Speaker 7: you know, always good? I mean, you know, I think
Speaker 7: I think you did. You did spread wisdom. I think
Speaker 7: that you know most of what you've said. It sounds
Speaker 7: like it's it's sinking in for a lot of people.
Speaker 7: People are listening, So I think I think it's a
Speaker 7: good conversation. If if the end of the conversation is enlightenment,
Speaker 7: then I think that's I think we did a good
Speaker 7: job here.
Speaker 1: Do you disagree? Do you want to challenge me on
Speaker 1: anything I've said? I invited openly because I mean this
Speaker 1: would be to be terrible if I was allowed to
Speaker 1: just go on without anyone challenging anything I've said, then
Speaker 1: I could just say, you know what, terrible things all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 7: No, I mean, I don't know how I challenge what
Speaker 7: you said. I mean, most of the stuff is pretty logical.
Speaker 7: I think, like, you know, don't murder people. I mean,
Speaker 7: like going to challenge you on that kind of stuff?
Speaker 7: You know, I mean like make me a bad person?
Speaker 7: You know, so I would, I would think.
Speaker 1: So, well, listen, you know, only get can judge.
Speaker 4: There you go.
Speaker 7: I want to give a shout out my buddies. My
Speaker 7: buddy's in the chat room, Quindo Ley fer Noort in
Speaker 7: my Steady Snacks. You know those guys. Those guys keep
Speaker 7: me sane.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that you're feeling sane, Tim, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate you calling in Thanks my guy, you have
Speaker 1: a wonder for us of the night.
Speaker 7: You too, Dick.
Speaker 2: Never goes on the line, taking your phone calls every
Speaker 2: night
Speaker 1: Never goes to his I was teaching you abou