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Speaker 1: Hey, folks, this is Lyle here. I just got done

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Speaker 1: going through all two hundred plus submissions for Geck across America,

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Speaker 1: and my god, I just I had to hop in

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Speaker 1: and tell you guys we have the best community ever.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it is incredible seeing all these different people

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Speaker 1: from all these different places, all these different characters, different looks,

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Speaker 1: different ages, different to everything. It's it's you know, it's

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Speaker 1: it's really awesome. I you know, I have been doing

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Speaker 1: this for about a year and it really watching all

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Speaker 1: these videos, it's setting in just how great the community is.

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Speaker 1: I'm pained by the fact that we're not going to

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Speaker 1: be able to get back to everyone. Seriously. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I was with Owen, who's going to be coming along

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Speaker 1: documenting the journey, and we were talking about how we

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Speaker 1: just wish we had, like, you know, you know, could

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Speaker 1: do this, you know, for a whole year or something

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Speaker 1: like that. But I want you to know if you

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Speaker 1: submitted something, even if I don't get back to you

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Speaker 1: know that I really appreciate you submitting. Every single submission

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Speaker 1: we watched was very genuine and really great. So thank

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Speaker 1: you guys so much. Again, this is going to be

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Speaker 1: crazy fucking project. We're going to go all over the place,

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Speaker 1: and I'm totally nervous, totally excited. Just wanted to express

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Speaker 1: my gratitude to the folks of get Nation for helping

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Speaker 1: to make this happen. I am super excited for you

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Speaker 1: guys to see this journey. I haven't reached out to

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Speaker 1: everyone who we're gonna pick because we have to spend

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Speaker 1: in a whole another week sort of going through everything

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Speaker 1: and figuring out what we can and can't do and

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Speaker 1: where we can all go. But again, if you submitted something,

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Speaker 1: you're a fucking hero, because all these submissions, I mean

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Speaker 1: it totally completely blew away any expectations that I had,

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Speaker 1: and I'm very excited and very grateful to be able

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Speaker 1: to go on a project like this, So thank you guys. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: as always, you can call the Gecko every Monday, Wednesday

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Speaker 1: and Friday at nine pm Eastern Standard Time on Twitch

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Speaker 1: dot tv, slash lyle forever. And let's get into the calls.

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Speaker 1: Baby never goes on the line taking your phone calls.

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Speaker 1: Every night, ever goes to his I was teaching you

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Speaker 1: how your life. He's not really an expert.

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Speaker 2: All from is it?

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Speaker 3: Hello?

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Speaker 1: Hello, what's your name?

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Speaker 2: Show up.

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Speaker 1: How are you.

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Speaker 2: Pretty good? You know, so glad beyond glad to you know,

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Speaker 2: actually talk to you, of course, Philip. So recently, I've

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Speaker 2: been with my girlfriend and uh, she pulled this big

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Speaker 2: thing out called Hank the Tank. It's about ten inches long,

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Speaker 2: and it really makes me feel bad about myself. I

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Speaker 2: don't know how to tell her to get rid of it.

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Speaker 1: Hank the Tank? Is that the name of of of

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Speaker 1: of a I'm I'm getting the sense that you're implying

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Speaker 1: that's the name of a of a sex toy of hers.

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Speaker 1: It's very phallic, a ten inch long phallic instrument that

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Speaker 1: she uses for her own personal sexual pleasure. Yes, Philip,

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Speaker 1: look the whole thing of you know, telling her to

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Speaker 1: get rid of it. I mean that your your your

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Speaker 1: problem is that you know this thing is making you insecure.

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Speaker 1: You can't just tell her to get rid of it.

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Speaker 1: That's not that's not within your your jurisdiction at all.

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Speaker 2: You're right, I guess it just doesn't seem right.

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Speaker 1: Why do you say it doesn't What do you mean

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem right?

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Speaker 2: I never thought I would use something like that. I mean,

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Speaker 2: oh god, I got showered. I've never been showered before.

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Speaker 1: What a showered mean?

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Speaker 2: Well, once in a while, when you do some stuff,

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Speaker 2: there's some liquid that comes back.

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Speaker 1: I assume you're you're making this all up, but your

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Speaker 1: wife pete on you.

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Speaker 2: No, No, I did not make this up. This actually

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Speaker 2: happened two weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: Really tell me every last detail, every last detail. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to know, like, what was it didn't feel hot?

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Speaker 1: Where did you pee on you? Exactly?

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean it was, it was hot and then

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Speaker 2: kind of got cold because it was cold in the room,

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Speaker 2: so it kind of evaporated a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense. We'll check with our science people

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Speaker 1: about that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like I said, she pulled that thing out.

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Speaker 2: I got jealous, and I don't know how to bring it.

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Speaker 3: Up to her.

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Speaker 2: I'd really like to get it out of the house,

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Speaker 2: but you said, don't do that.

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Speaker 5: That's wrong.

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Speaker 1: Why why are you so concerned with getting this thing

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Speaker 1: out of the house. If I were her, I would

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Speaker 1: be see, here's the thing is like this, you're you're

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Speaker 1: you know. Look, I don't think your wife is going

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Speaker 1: to leave you because this is your wife or your

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Speaker 1: girlfriend girlfriend. Look, your girlfriend's not going to leave you

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Speaker 1: because you have a tiny penis all right, because she's

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Speaker 1: stuck with you so far. But your girlfriend might leave

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Speaker 1: you for trying to, you know, control her and what

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Speaker 1: she can and can't do, and you know, with with

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Speaker 1: with her own life and with her own you know,

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Speaker 1: fulfilling her own sexual needs. I leave you over that

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Speaker 1: more than I would you having a tiny penis.

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Speaker 2: Enough. Get we'll keep tank the tank. I mean, I

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Speaker 2: guess I answered the question.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, man. See, that's the thing is you're you're

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Speaker 1: you're You're gonna make it much worse for yourself because

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Speaker 1: you're feeding into your own insecurity, whereas like, look, having

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Speaker 1: a tiny penis is like that's you know, that's just

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Speaker 1: who you are. And and look she stayed with you

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Speaker 1: long enough, she obviously doesn't care. She's still with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, Okay, I'll let you go. Thank you sir,

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Speaker 2: of course.

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Speaker 1: Man, you have a good rest of.

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Speaker 5: The night now, you too.

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Speaker 2: All from Nathan.

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Speaker 1: Nathan.

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Speaker 5: Hey, how are you?

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Speaker 1: Nathan?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 6: I'm doing all right.

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Speaker 4: How are you?

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Speaker 1: How have you sinned? Nathan?

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Speaker 6: Well, about ten years ago I cheated on my wife.

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Speaker 1: Mmm, you cheated on your wife? And are you two

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Speaker 1: still together?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: We are you are, so she forgave it.

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Speaker 6: Well, we're working on that because this, uh, she just

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Speaker 6: recently found out.

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Speaker 1: She only found out recently.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, just probably just a little under two weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: And did you reveal it to her or did she

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Speaker 1: find out on her own?

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Speaker 6: She found out on her own?

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Speaker 1: How did she find out?

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Speaker 6: So the husband of the woman I cheated with told

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Speaker 6: her because he found out. He found out about two

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Speaker 6: years ago, and he contacted her and told her.

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Speaker 1: How did he find out? Eight years after it happened.

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Speaker 6: Another mutual friend of ours told him let him know?

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm sorry.

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Speaker 6: Oh. He confronted me about this when he found out

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Speaker 6: about it and told me that he knew, but then

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Speaker 6: didn't tell me if whether or not he was going

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Speaker 6: to tell my wife. But see, his wife and my

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Speaker 6: wife are best friends, so in order to try and

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Speaker 6: save their friendship at the time, he told me that

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Speaker 6: he wasn't planning on telling my wife. But then something

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Speaker 6: something inside him just here recently caused him to tell her.

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Speaker 6: So now she knows.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So you didn't just cheat on your wife with

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Speaker 1: a you know, an unconnected woman. This was her best friend.

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Speaker 6: This was her best friend.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and how long have you all own each other for?

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Speaker 1: I mean ten years is.

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Speaker 6: A while, right, Well, no, so, I mean, I'm almost

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Speaker 6: thirty seven years old, and i've known that the the

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Speaker 6: guy is an old friend of mine from I met

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Speaker 6: him in eighth grade. We've known each other for a

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Speaker 6: long time. And then my wife and her best friend,

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Speaker 6: they've known each other since high school. And my wife's

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Speaker 6: even a couple of years older than I am. So

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Speaker 6: they we've all known each other for years.

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Speaker 1: And how long and how many times did you cheot

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Speaker 1: on your wife? Was this you know, one isolated incident

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Speaker 1: ten years ago? Was to say, over the past ten

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Speaker 1: years ago?

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Speaker 6: It was a couple of times, roughly, you know, pretty

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Speaker 6: close to each other. It happened about twice, Okay, probably

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Speaker 6: within a month or two sday.

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Speaker 1: I'm did she have a conversation about your wife? Do

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Speaker 1: you have a conversation with your wife about it? This

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Speaker 1: is two weeks ago?

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Speaker 6: You said, yeah, about two weeks ago she about she

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Speaker 6: found out. Yeah, and we've been talking. Well, the first

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Speaker 6: few days of her finding out were pretty rough. See,

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Speaker 6: the problem is, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm working out of town.

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Speaker 6: This is it's been horrible timing. I've been working out

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Speaker 6: of town. I'm about twelve hundred miles away from home

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Speaker 6: when she found out about this, So I've been pretty complete,

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Speaker 6: pretty pretty helpless about trying to take care of this,

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Speaker 6: you know, face to face, it's all been over the

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Speaker 6: fault and it was pretty rough those first few days.

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Speaker 6: But she seems like she's getting better.

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Speaker 4: I don't.

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Speaker 6: I don't expect her to forgive me. I hope she does,

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Speaker 6: but I don't expect her to. But I guess I'm

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Speaker 6: just kind of hoping for the best.

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Speaker 1: Now, do you guys have kids?

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Speaker 6: We have three kids.

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Speaker 1: M do they know?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 6: I just found out that one of them overheard my

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Speaker 6: wife and I talking one evening and uh yeah, my

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Speaker 6: my middle daughter, she's about sixteen, she knows.

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Speaker 1: Hm. And how are you feeling about the situation as

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Speaker 1: a whole.

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Speaker 6: I'm terrified, you know, I don't want to lose my family.

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Speaker 6: You know, I made a really bad mistake. You know,

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Speaker 6: there's no excuse for it, and I'll do whatever it

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Speaker 6: takes to, you know, keep my family together and keep

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Speaker 6: my wife.

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Speaker 1: Have you talked through with your I mean, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, what have you done so far in your

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Speaker 1: attempts to rectify the situation.

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Speaker 6: Uh, you know, I've just tried to any any kind

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Speaker 6: of answers my wife has for me. I do my

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Speaker 6: best answer them. I mean, it did happen a while ago,

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Speaker 6: and you know, I'm having to try to remember a

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Speaker 6: lot of things. But I you know, I just I

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Speaker 6: answer honestly, and I answer answer truthfully. Whatever I can do,

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Speaker 6: you know. I mean, that's just that's the problem about

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Speaker 6: all I can do, being that I'm away from homeworking,

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Speaker 6: about all I can do is just talk. So it's

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Speaker 6: just been a lot of talking, you know, And and

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Speaker 6: I let her say what she wants to say, and

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Speaker 6: I answer, I answered truthfully, and so yeah, that's about

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Speaker 6: all I can do right now.

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Speaker 1: Have you talked through it extensively with your your your

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Speaker 1: sixteen year old.

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Speaker 6: No, I have not. I haven't. I'm going to. She's

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Speaker 6: pretty upset about it from what I from what I understand,

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Speaker 6: and uh, I just I haven't had that conversation with

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Speaker 6: her yet.

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Speaker 4: M hm.

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Speaker 6: So yeah, that's how I send.

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Speaker 1: Wow, are you a religious person?

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Speaker 6: You know? I never used to be years ago, but

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Speaker 6: I find I find myself a lot more religious now

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Speaker 6: these days.

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Speaker 4: And I think.

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Speaker 6: I think my actions in the past really kind of

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Speaker 6: helped get me where I am right now, faithfully, you know,

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Speaker 6: with with my faith in God.

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Speaker 7: Mhm.

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Speaker 6: I know I've done wrong, and I you know, I

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Speaker 6: do my best to pray and have a relationship with God.

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Speaker 1: Well listen, what'd you say?

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Speaker 5: Your name was, Nathan?

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Speaker 1: Well listen, Nathan? Thank you for sharing.

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Speaker 6: Yes, thank you for taking my call. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Of course, you have a good rest of the night.

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Speaker 6: You too. Thanks.

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Speaker 4: Get all from Bobert.

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Speaker 1: Bobert.

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Speaker 4: Yes, Hello, how are you?

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Speaker 1: Bobert?

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Speaker 4: I'm doing alright. Gek, I'm doing all right. How are you?

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Speaker 1: You know Bobert Bobberts. Is that having anything to do

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Speaker 1: with Robert or just the Bobert?

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Speaker 4: A little bit of both. I like to think, No,

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Speaker 4: just couldn't choose.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't choose. Are you a generally indecisive person?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What was the last time you had a tough time

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Speaker 1: making a decision?

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Speaker 4: Earlier? Actually earlier?

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Speaker 1: Why?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Earlier today, I was trying to decide whether or

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Speaker 4: not to like continue. Its kind of like I've been

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Speaker 4: going to therapy on and off, and it's been kind

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Speaker 4: of arduous and wearing me down a little bit. So

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Speaker 4: I've got something else scheduled for tomorrow, and I was

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Speaker 4: kind of weighing on whether or not to skip it

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Speaker 4: and try to just chill and repress all this shit

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Speaker 4: for maybe a year more, or just wait, Okay, you're.

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Speaker 1: Not talking about skipping one there. Besides, you're talking about

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Speaker 1: skipping going to therapy. Yeah, why do you Why do

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Speaker 1: you think that would help you?

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Speaker 4: Well, I had sort of a bad experience with it.

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Speaker 4: I tried to and my dad kind of got in

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Speaker 4: the way.

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Speaker 1: You tried to skip it and your dad got in

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Speaker 1: the way. Or you tried to do it and your

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Speaker 1: dad got in the way.

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Speaker 4: The second one, I tried to do it and my

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Speaker 4: dad got in a way.

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Speaker 1: How did your dad get in the way.

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Speaker 4: It was like a group session, and he lied, he lied.

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Speaker 1: Well, you're not talking about group session, all right, or

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Speaker 1: you're talking about just a single session, a group session.

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Speaker 1: What's the session that you have tomorrow?

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Speaker 4: It's a single session. But I've been hearing a lot

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Speaker 4: lately from the therapists and doctors. I've been seeing that

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Speaker 4: group sessions would be more helpful to me probably.

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Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 1: If your doctors are telling you the group sessions would

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Speaker 1: be helpful. Then, I mean, why don't you go to

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Speaker 1: You know you should do is go to the single

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Speaker 1: session and tell all I mean everything, I have everything

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Speaker 1: that you just told me, Like you know the fact

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Speaker 1: that you don't want to go to therapy because your

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Speaker 1: dad lied in therapy. Have you told that to Well?

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Speaker 4: The decision, well, the decision has already like been made

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Speaker 4: like against my like against my sort of gut feeling

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Speaker 4: like even though I don't want to, I'm going to

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Speaker 4: do it anyway because I know that's what's best for me.

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Speaker 4: But good, I'm that was the decision I was kind

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Speaker 4: of struggling with earlier. Just to answer the question, I'm

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Speaker 4: not I'm not still struggling with it. Now.

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Speaker 1: Well, good, I'm glad that you decide to go and

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Speaker 1: now and now you have so much to talk about

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Speaker 1: in the therapy. You can get metal with it. You

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Speaker 1: can talk about how you didn't want to go.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right. I actually intend to kind of bring

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Speaker 4: that up, like right off of that.

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Speaker 1: Oh, you should totally bring it up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah sweet, all right?

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Speaker 2: Cool?

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Speaker 1: And they actually think that that's probably I mean, they

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Speaker 1: probably get that question all the time, or you know,

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Speaker 1: the concern all the time of people not wanting to

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Speaker 1: see them. Oh yeah, I be offended. Yeah yeah, Well listen,

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Speaker 1: what did you say? Your name was Bob Ritt? How

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Speaker 1: how have you sinned barber it?

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Speaker 4: Do?

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Speaker 1: You seem like a nice guy. You seem like you

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Speaker 1: haven't sinned it before. But I've talked to many people.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that looks could be deceiving and not

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Speaker 1: that I can see you, but.

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Speaker 4: Well, uh, well, I guess my voice is sort of

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Speaker 4: deceiving because I've sinned a lot. But I'll I'll share

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Speaker 4: a more entertaining, kind of lighthearted one.

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Speaker 1: Sure.

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Speaker 4: When I was in like I think like second or

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Speaker 4: third grade, I was, uh and to get this sort

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Speaker 4: of like background, I guess it is pretty awful, and

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Speaker 4: I know that now, but uh, I was like bullied

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Speaker 4: pretty heavily in my household as a kid. So I

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Speaker 4: kind of turned into a bully in like elementary school.

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Speaker 1: Yes, transmusion of the of the bullying energy.

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Speaker 4: I got out of it in like middle school, of course,

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Speaker 4: when I like changed schools and all that, but when

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Speaker 4: I was like, thank you, I am too. But in

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Speaker 4: like second or third grade, I had this friend, let's

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Speaker 4: call him, uh, let's call him Pete, and uh, Pete

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Speaker 4: was he was an awesome kid. He was an awesome kid,

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Speaker 4: but he wasn't the sharpestool in the shed, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Sure.

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Speaker 4: And this one time we were in like this, this

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Speaker 4: kind of like I don't know if a lot of

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Speaker 4: schools have this. It's kind of like daycare after school

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Speaker 4: for like kids whose parents can't get off work, like

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Speaker 4: righte at three, sure, and me and Pete were like

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Speaker 4: playing with the legos, your legos, and they had hand

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Speaker 4: sanitizer to try and make sure nobody got sick because

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Speaker 4: you use legos your hands, and our schools kind of gross,

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Speaker 4: I guess. But I was really bored while we were

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Speaker 4: playing with these legos, and I just saw this hand

350
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Speaker 4: sanitizer just sitting there and I was like, hey, Pete,

351
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 4: you know, you know hand sanitizers really for your eyes, right,

352
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Speaker 4: And he's like what really. I didn't have a chance

353
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Speaker 4: to answer him because before he he said really, and

354
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Speaker 4: then in immediately took like three big squirts of hand sanitizer,

355
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 4: rubbed him into his hands, and then rubbed his hands

356
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Speaker 4: into his eyes. Hm hm, And uh, I didn't get

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Speaker 4: in trouble for it.

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Speaker 1: You didn't get in trouble for us. Now, how did

359
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 1: you have had? What?

360
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Speaker 2: What?

361
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 1: What events? I'm very curious what events preceded that?

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Speaker 4: Well, Well, the school we were at was gross, not

363
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Speaker 4: just like on the outside but on the inside, like

364
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 4: the faculty I guess, and the way they saw it

365
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 4: or that that situation unfolded, I guess they saw thought

366
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Speaker 4: of it like it was his fault because it literally

367
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 4: says hand sanitizer on the hand sanitizer like as a

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Speaker 4: like a matter of reading. And we were in like

369
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Speaker 4: sex in our third grade, So they were just like

370
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Speaker 4: really mad at him for actually falling for it. But

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Speaker 4: I don't think they realized that, Like I don't think

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Speaker 4: it occurred to them that there might have been like

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Speaker 4: developmental stuff in play or something like that.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy, that's crazy, they got. That's like you know

375
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: what that is. That's like that's some real world ass

376
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Speaker 1: like spelling, like reading comprehension test.

377
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Speaker 4: They literally like it was really awful. How they they

378
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 4: like handled it. They were like, Tony, what does that

379
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 4: say hand sanitizer? They like they took him away like

380
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Speaker 4: into little like detention after that.

381
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Speaker 1: Damn he got he got hand sanitizer in his eyes

382
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Speaker 1: and an f Yeah, damn, poor kid, what you're doing?

383
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Speaker 1: Do you still do you still keep up with him?

384
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 5: No?

385
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 4: I uh, Unfortunately I never got a chance to make

386
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 4: amends or anything like that. I uh, I've tried a

387
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 4: couple of times, but every time I looked him up

388
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 4: on Facebook, like once a couple of years ago, and

389
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Speaker 4: he wears glasses now.

390
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Speaker 1: Do you think the two ads are related?

391
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Speaker 4: Yeah, because they didn't when they put him in the

392
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Speaker 4: room after he got it in his eyes, they didn't

393
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Speaker 4: let him rinse it out or anything.

394
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Speaker 1: Why.

395
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 4: I don't know. I was like kind of like peeking

396
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 4: over like the teacher's shoulders and like on the on

397
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Speaker 4: the outskirts, like as he was getting like chewed out,

398
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,199
Speaker 4: because I wanted to know what was gonna happen, or

399
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 4: like if he was gonna be okay, because his eyes

400
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:59,360
Speaker 4: were like bright bright red. But I think I think

401
00:22:59,400 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 4: I did that.

402
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: Interesting. So, how do you know for sure that the

403
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 1: fact that he wears glasses now is related to this

404
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 1: thing that happened to him many years ago?

405
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 4: Well?

406
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 3: I don't know for sure.

407
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 4: Which is a thing that kind of perplexes me about

408
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 4: this and kind of makes me get into my own head,

409
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,719
Speaker 4: a little bit about it, like just the possibility of it.

410
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 1: Well, Bobert, sounds like you have a lot to talk

411
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Speaker 1: about tomorrow.

412
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 4: Yep, for sure.

413
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Speaker 1: Good luck man, you have a wonderful us of the night.

414
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Speaker 4: Thanks you too, gek.

415
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Speaker 1: F dude, babe, Oh shit, what if what if they

416
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 1: actually gave him better sight? Think about it? Think about it,

417
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 1: think about this, think about this all right. Theoretically they

418
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 1: could have actually given a better sight, right, because think

419
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: about this, No one puts hand sanitizer in their eye, right,

420
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 1: No one would ever put hand sanitizer in their eye.

421
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: No one would ever do it. So we don't know

422
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 1: what happens if you do. And maybe what happens is

423
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 1: you get superpowers, high risk, high reward.

424
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 2: All from Elliott to accept prescio.

425
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:47,199
Speaker 1: Huh huhuh I.

426
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 8: Hullo.

427
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: What's up?

428
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 4: Hey?

429
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: What's your name?

430
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: Elliott?

431
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: Elliott?

432
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 4: Yeah? Can you do all right?

433
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: Elliott?

434
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 4: Yes, Elliott?

435
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: I can hear you beautifully.

436
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 8: Awesome, awesome, it's great to hear man.

437
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: Uh we were spoken before, Elliott?

438
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 8: No, I don't think so. My first time calling in

439
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 8: so this is.

440
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:23,120
Speaker 1: Really the first, like your first time ever dialing the number? Yes, sir, Wow,

441
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: that's awesome. A lot of people are like, damn, it

442
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: took me like five hundred tries, but you got it.

443
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 5: Yeah.

444
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 8: No, I just heard you guys feel like taking calls.

445
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 8: I'm like, you know what, I'll give it a shot.

446
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 1: Why not listen? Look, I mean you came on a

447
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,959
Speaker 1: good night. We don't usually take calls on the stream,

448
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: but tonight I figured we take some phone calls.

449
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 8: That sounds amazing.

450
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 2: Man.

451
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 8: You know it's like destiny.

452
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: You know it's again you're playing destiny.

453
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, oh, it's like destiny.

454
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, it could be destiny. Do you believe in destiny?

455
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 4: Really?

456
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 8: Not really a religious person myself.

457
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 1: Well, no, I don't know if you have to believe

458
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,399
Speaker 1: in I don't know if it's the concept of destinies

459
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 1: is inherently religious. I mean, do you believe in fate?

460
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 1: Do you believe in things happen for a reason or

461
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: or are you more towards the side of everything is

462
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: just random?

463
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 4: Yeah? Bro?

464
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 8: Everything just random?

465
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 4: You know?

466
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 1: Hm? So you think it was completely random that you

467
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: just got in tonight the first just luck?

468
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 8: You know?

469
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: I agree with you.

470
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, yeah, so I cheated, but not in that way. Okay, Yeah,

471
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 8: so you know how we have this coronavirus going on.

472
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 8: We I'm in school right now and we have to

473
00:26:54,040 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 8: take online exams, now what's called I'm then there's a

474
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 8: big discord group where some students in the same class

475
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 8: and we all essentially we all just take the exam

476
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 8: at the same time and we cheat off there. But

477
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 8: you know, I don't I'm not really fond of these

478
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 8: people because I'd never met them in my life. So

479
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 8: what I did was I what's called I helped them

480
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 8: out with the exam answers throughout the semester, and our

481
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 8: teachers have this policy of where you have to get

482
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 8: fifty on the final exam for pass, and so essentially

483
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 8: a lot of people were coming to me for answers

484
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,360
Speaker 8: on the exam, and on the final exam, I gave

485
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 8: them wrong answers, and I heard about like five or

486
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 8: six people filled out and they have to take the

487
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 8: class again.

488
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: M You gave them wrong answers on purpose?

489
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 8: Yes, yes, because I mean I don't like them, to

490
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 8: be honest, you like them. No, I mean they didn't

491
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 8: do anything wrong to me. It's not like they're wrong

492
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 8: to me or anything. I just you know, it wasn't

493
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 8: really fonds. Then you know, I had no connection to them.

494
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: You know, so you gave them the wrong answers. These

495
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: weren't people you disliked strongly and you were trying to

496
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: seeking vengeance against them. You you were just kind of

497
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: failing them for sport.

498
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah.

499
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: See this is interesting to me because on one hand,

500
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 1: it's like, look, if you're cheating off the exam, by

501
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: the way, I mean, well, what do you what do

502
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: you guys? What do you guys study?

503
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 8: Computer science?

504
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: So computers?

505
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,479
Speaker 4: This particular class was a really hard one.

506
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 8: It's about like computer hardware, like some believe all that,

507
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 8: you know, a bunch of ones and zeros.

508
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: M hmm.

509
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 7: See.

510
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is an interesting thing because you know, look,

511
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: I can't inherently say that what you did was wrong,

512
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, if you cheat on the exam,

513
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: you know, you're you're you're working outside the bounds of

514
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: the system. Anything could happen. It's a lawless land, right right.

515
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 8: Right, But like the act of like I don't know,

516
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 8: I mean, I guess it is allis land, but like

517
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 8: I don't know, you know, like because like I mean,

518
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 8: at the time, I didn't really care but like now

519
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 8: I kind of feel I wouldn't say guilty, but like, uh,

520
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 8: I don't know, like almost that fault for them, you know, No,

521
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 8: I mean.

522
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: I don't think you're well, I'm what I'm most curious about,

523
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: aside from like whether or not what you did was wrong, yes,

524
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: is not as interesting to me as like why you

525
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: did it, like you just I mean, you know, if

526
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: these people, like if you felt like, oh, these people

527
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: are taking advantage of me, and you know that I

528
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 1: actually my friends, Uh fuck them, I'm gonna give them

529
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: the wrong answers. But that feeling didn't seem like it

530
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: was ind you. It seemed like you just kind of

531
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: wanted to do this.

532
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 8: For for like sport, like I enjoyed it or something.

533
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem like you kind of enjoyed it.

534
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 8: At the time.

535
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 4: I was.

536
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 8: It's kind of feeling like high in mindy of myself

537
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 8: because like I was definitely on the top of the class.

538
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 8: I wouldn't say I was like the smartest one there.

539
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 8: That was definitely one of the smartest ones in the

540
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 8: class at least, but I mean, yeah, like kind of

541
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 8: just felt nice. So I because like their fate was

542
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 8: in my hands, Like.

543
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, you enjoyed the power of it.

544
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I guess I kind of get

545
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 8: like power hungry right there?

546
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 1: Do you feel as though you don't have a lot

547
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: of power?

548
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 8: Uh, like in my life? Or I mean yeah, but

549
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 8: I mean I feel like this was everyone. You know,

550
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 8: you're you're born a certain way, you're born in a

551
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 8: certain country. You don't really get the same opportunities as

552
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 8: everyone else. You know, you're bound to feel parallels at

553
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 8: sometimes in your life, but like, you know, that's life.

554
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 1: M Now, did these students who gave the wrong answers

555
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: to did they eventually come back to you and be like, hey,

556
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: what the fuck will these answers are wrong? No?

557
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 8: No, So essentially we're in this big district group and

558
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 8: I just all I did was I left the group

559
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 8: after we completed the class, and I never heard from

560
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 8: them again, because you know, it's all online.

561
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 4: You know, like, what are they going to detract me down?

562
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 8: They don't even know me.

563
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: But you told me that they You told me that

564
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: you heard some of them failed.

565
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, from other students.

566
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, you think you're feeling guilty about what you did?

567
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 8: Yeah, you know, because like now they have to review

568
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 8: the semester, and like I heard from one of them

569
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 8: at least that like they had really strict towns and

570
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 8: like they're overseas, you know, and so like failing this

571
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 8: class like really hurt them financially speaking. I kind of

572
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 8: felt bad.

573
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 4: About that, you know, m.

574
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 8: Because like they have to retake your class. The teams

575
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 8: they have to like reinvest the money to take that

576
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 8: class again, you know in college. Is they're not particularly cheap.

577
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: Well listen before we go, Yeah, would you do it again?

578
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 4: No?

579
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 8: No, no, I would not.

580
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing. Man, you over the rest of

581
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: the night.

582
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 2: All from Kirby.

583
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: Kirby, Hello Herby.

584
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 9: Hello am I on stream?

585
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: You are Kirby?

586
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 9: Oh what's up?

587
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 6: While what's not?

588
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: You know, not a whole heck of a lot? Kirby?

589
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: Is that your You don't have to tell me what

590
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: your real name is? But is Kirby your real name?

591
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 2: Oh?

592
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: God, I wish how did you pick that name? Do

593
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: you have an affinity for the Kirby series? Uh?

594
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 9: I main Kirby and it's just a very He's just

595
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 9: a pink ball man. He looks real, chill and nice

596
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 9: and like the way I perceive myself is not like that.

597
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 9: So I was like, that's kind of funny. I'll be Kirby.

598
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: Interesting. The way you perceive yourself is not like that?

599
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: How how do you perceive yourself?

600
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 9: I'm mean and dark and rude, and Kirby is just

601
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 9: a nice little ball and he just screams pio at people.

602
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 6: You know, mean and.

603
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: Dark and rude. What makes you say that you are

604
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: mean and dark and rude?

605
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,479
Speaker 9: Well, I don't really like people. This is gonna tie

606
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 9: into my sin. I don't care about other people.

607
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: Interesting. How old are you?

608
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 9: I'm nineteen?

609
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, what's your sin? How hath you sinned? Karby?

610
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 9: So going on with the scene with cheating? I have

611
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 9: not been cheated on, but I've been the cheater for

612
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 9: other people. You get me?

613
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: You said that the way don't. I can't describe exactly why,

614
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 1: but that the way you phrased that is I have

615
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 1: been that. I have not been cheated on, but I

616
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: have been the cheater for other people. I can't describe

617
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: exactly what bothers me about the way you phrased that.

618
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:06,800
Speaker 1: I wish I could, but I don't. That's definitely not okay.

619
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: What go on?

620
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 9: Yes, home wrecker Kurby, Everyone in the chat saying that, yes,

621
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 9: it's I just don't care about other people, so knowingly

622
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 9: letting someone choose bad. Yeah, but like, for example, it

623
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 9: was a toxic relationship between the both of them, and

624
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 9: neither of them wanted to be with each other. Not

625
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 9: to say that I wanted to be with that person either,

626
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 9: but like we did the dirty and then there's significant

627
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 9: other was mad and I was just like, well, that

628
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 9: that sucks.

629
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: I guess, my dad, why do you think you don't

630
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 1: care about other people?

631
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 9: Interesting? Because I've been let down a lot. I can't

632
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 9: have expectations of others.

633
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: You can't have ex well, I mean, I mean, I

634
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 1: think it's a good thing not to have expects of others,

635
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't necessarily look link having not

636
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:09,399
Speaker 1: having expectations with other of not having expectations of others too,

637
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 1: not caring about others. I don't think those two things

638
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: have to be inherently related.

639
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,760
Speaker 9: I agree, But I guess it's just in my experience

640
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 9: where I don't expect anything of others.

641
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 1: Okay, but why why? What do you like? You don't

642
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: care about other people's feelings, You don't care if you

643
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: hurt other people?

644
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 9: Well, I mean, like, you know, true, you have your people, right,

645
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,399
Speaker 9: like just your close friends or for or whatever. Those

646
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 9: people I care about the like random people, they're not really.

647
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: M Do you let me ask you something. Do you

648
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: see this as a problem?

649
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 9: I do, I really do.

650
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: Okay, So, so you're not in the camp of I

651
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 1: don't care about other people and fucking I mean you

652
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: kind of are. But there is a part of you

653
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: that I would like to care about other people. It

654
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: sounds like.

655
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 9: I don't think I can have that like emotional attachment

656
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 9: to other people enough to care about them.

657
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 4: You know.

658
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 1: Mmmm, well, I mean, look, you just said that you

659
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: you just said that you have people that you do

660
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: care about. Yes, I do, so, so that's not true.

661
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: You do have the capacity to have emotional attachments to

662
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: people and care about.

663
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 9: Them, but like when I hurt their feelings, I don't.

664
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 9: I don't feel bad about it.

665
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 1: Let me have Is this something you've spoken to a

666
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:51,720
Speaker 1: real therapist about.

667
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 9: Yes, and I do go to therapy, but everyone in chat, oh, man, Kacy,

668
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 9: she's just like, girl, you need to help. And I'm like,

669
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 9: that's why I'm talking to you.

670
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:11,760
Speaker 1: What fuck your therapist said to you? You need help? Yes, Okay,

671
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: what did she elaborate on that? Did she offer any.

672
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:21,399
Speaker 6: Not enough?

673
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: I would say, she said, you need help. Okay, you

674
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: told her I don't care about other people. I don't

675
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,359
Speaker 1: care when they hurt their feelings. And what does she say?

676
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,280
Speaker 9: Well, you know, the real lack of empathy is probably

677
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 9: like from trauma or something. I'm like, yeah, probably Stacy

678
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 9: and just conversations like that with her.

679
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: It's from trauma.

680
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 9: Yeah, but I don't.

681
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, listen, first of all, you should get

682
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: a new therapist until you find someone that he's helpful

683
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: for you. But in the meantime, you know, it's one

684
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: thing not to care about other people, but it's another

685
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: thing when you know, you go out and your actions

686
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: start to have adverse effects on other people. So you know,

687
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: I mean, look, try to get some help. Try to

688
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: keep the havoc reaking, you know, under control until until

689
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: you can get some help. You know, I imagining Kirby.

690
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: Kirby swallows you and gains your your copies, your ability

691
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 1: to not care about other people and just goes on

692
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: like a a rampage of of of sin. And it's

693
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: a video game. It's called Kirby's Rampage. Of sin. It's

694
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 1: on the on this twitch.

695
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 9: I don't know if you've seen those means where it's

696
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 9: like if Kirby like eight you or whatever, what would

697
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 9: your power be? So what would your power be?

698
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 4: Geck?

699
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: I'd be a He'd be turned into a geck. I

700
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: would well listen, Kirby, are you gonna try to find

701
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 1: the new therapist?

702
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 9: They have me on meds right now and I don't

703
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 9: really like it, so probably.

704
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: Good. I hope, I hope that everything works out for you.

705
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 9: Thank you, man.

706
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: You have a good rest of the night too.

707
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 9: I will try to enjoy streams.

708
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 1: I was the cheater for other people? What does that mean?

709
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 2: All from David?

710
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:57,879
Speaker 1: David? Good while we're doing it? Not big?

711
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 5: Oh my man, I didn't think I reached you?

712
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 1: Man, Why didn't you think you'd reach me? You got

713
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: you called the phone number?

714
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 5: Well, I called earlier. I wasn't the other day that

715
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 5: cheated you know? So I was the one that didn't

716
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 5: stay on the line.

717
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: Ah, I remember that. Yeah, I'm glad we finally got

718
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: the chat with you. What's up man? How you doing?

719
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:24,919
Speaker 5: I'm doing all right. I'ma take some cookies, watching rush hour,

720
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 5: watching your stream at the same.

721
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 1: Time you're watching the movie rush Hour? Yeah, how can

722
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 1: I ask? How were you? I don't understand media consumption

723
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,439
Speaker 1: habits these days, because I'll go to my friend's house

724
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: and they got a movie on, they got a stream on,

725
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: they got the Beatles playing, they're watching porn, they're doing

726
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: they're brushing their teeth, Like, how do you do all

727
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 1: these different things? How are you watching my stream? Man

728
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: watching rush Hour? What's like taking dominance in your mind

729
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 1: as you're processing all this information?

730
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 5: Well, the majority of it, it's mostly Uh, when when

731
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 5: you're talking to somebody and you're on your stream. I

732
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 5: turned the volume up on your stream, and then I

733
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:12,479
Speaker 5: turned down with rush Hour. But then you know, as

734
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 5: it gets boring or you know, the persons you know

735
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 5: not interesting enough for me, I just turn up rush

736
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 5: Hour and once it ends, I'll pause rush Hour. I

737
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 5: gotta call him. I gotta call him.

738
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,799
Speaker 1: I'd love I would love to see, like, I mean,

739
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 1: the data on what percentage of the stream you've selected

740
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: to have it be the dominant thing over rush Hour?

741
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 1: Like how often who? How often over the this this

742
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: current stream? Did it get boring and you you put

743
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: rush Hour on? I'd be completely I'm.

744
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,399
Speaker 5: Not gonna lie. I don't like I didn't like Curby girl,

745
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 5: so I tuned her out for a bit. Like once

746
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 5: you talk started talking about a therapist, was like, all right,

747
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 5: he lying, I'm I'm gonna keep watching Rush Hour.

748
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: I thought she was lying, Yeah, lying about about what the.

749
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 5: Therapist telling her she needs to get help. Ain't no

750
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 5: therapist gonna tell you that.

751
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: I've there are some terrible therapists out there. By the way,

752
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: have you ever been a therapy.

753
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 5: I have, Bud. He was a Christian therapist, m but

754
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 5: he gave good advice, you know, just at the end

755
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 5: of it, he just prayed for me.

756
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: You know, so, oh that's so stupid. I'm in no offense.

757
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 1: I mean, but if I went to a therapist and

758
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 1: they prayed for me, I would be so pissed off.

759
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I understand. It's uh, he gives you advice.

760
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 5: Let me tell you, God will work it out. So

761
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 5: it's a little weird.

762
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: Well if God, if you know what, that would piss

763
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: me off too. If God is going to work it out,

764
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: you know, why doesn't he just do it right now?

765
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 1: Why what the hell is he waiting for?

766
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying, man, I still have to go

767
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 5: to church because I made the deal with my boss

768
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 5: and I lost. So I gotta go to church every

769
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 5: Sunday with him.

770
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: Now, you made a bet. What was the deal or

771
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: the bet?

772
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 5: Well, he said if he could get me out of

773
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 5: West Virginia from an abusive job. Uh, I gotta go

774
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 5: to church every Sunday if I worked for him, and

775
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 5: I was like, well, ship, he did it. I don't

776
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 5: know how he did it.

777
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: But wait, this is wait. This man is making it

778
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: so that one of the requirements of working for him

779
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 1: is that you have to go to church.

780
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 5: Yes, personal requirement.

781
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 1: All right, it's just not an actual He's not going

782
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 1: to fire you if you don't do it. But you're

783
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,240
Speaker 1: a man of your word and you agree to it. Yes,

784
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: how do you feel about it? Have you been is?

785
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 1: Have you been enjoying your church going experience?

786
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 2: Uh?

787
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 5: Some of it. I mean it connects to how I've sinned,

788
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 5: So it's uh, it's it's fun. It's all right. I

789
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,760
Speaker 5: just don't go to the I don't actually go inside.

790
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 5: I just sit out there and drink coffee with the

791
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 5: old people.

792
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 1: Well, you're not serious, are you don't actually go in.

793
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 6: I'm there.

794
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 5: I mean, I have a personal relationship with pastor because

795
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 5: he's just such a nice guy. You can't really he

796
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 5: smiled that just like I gotta smile back.

797
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: I know. It's so annoying. I mean we had too,

798
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:35,280
Speaker 1: we had that Catholic guy calling. He was so nice.

799
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: It's so annoying when they're nice, because then it makes

800
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:43,240
Speaker 1: you want to not be mean about religion because they're

801
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 1: nice people.

802
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's how.

803
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 1: How had you sinned? What was What's that you said?

804
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: This is in connection to your sin?

805
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 5: Uh? It connected because I talked to one of the

806
00:45:55,280 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 5: old people and church about it. But back in the day,

807
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 5: I stole a lot, So I don't know. Back in

808
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 5: the day, I'd say probably middle school, high school. I

809
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 5: lived in Detroit, and I stole a lot of things.

810
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 5: I stole from my family, primarily my dad. I didn't

811
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 5: like my dad at the time, but.

812
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 6: Stole lot through money everywhere, stole for.

813
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 5: A lot of I think they were blood. They wore

814
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 5: a lot of red, That's about it. But I mean

815
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 5: still have their off days and we're purple for some

816
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 5: fucking reasons.

817
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: Still from bloods.

818
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, like no, not from blood. I stole things and

819
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 5: sold it to them. It was more like a you

820
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 5: got to survive out there type of thing.

821
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 1: Were you in the gang?

822
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 5: No, no, no no, I was too too uh too

823
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 5: baby faced Asians for that.

824
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: So okay, but.

825
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 5: Uh, I don't know. I said, stolen things from you know,

826
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 5: candy to whole entire washing machines and video games.

827
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 1: How the fuck do you steal a washing machine?

828
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 6: What was back in the day? Man?

829
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,320
Speaker 5: You know around like I'd say probably one two thousand

830
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 5: and eight, you know, back in the day. And I

831
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 5: walked into a Steers and I didn't look like a

832
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 5: gang member or anything like that. I walked in with

833
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 5: khaki a dress shirt. Just the excuse me, man, Can

834
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 5: I just grab the doll and grab this display? Talked

835
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 5: to them recently and they said at the last monle.

836
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 6: Was doing to pay for He's, oh, yeah, sure, go ahead, honey.

837
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 5: And you know you just got to stroll that shit

838
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 5: out there, and that's it.

839
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: Damn that. I'm not gonna lie like getting away with

840
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: stealing with like stealing a washing machine could probably it

841
00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 1: probably seemed like gould feel really good. Just the act

842
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: of that kind of feels like you pulled I mean

843
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: because still on like whatever, some candy or whatever. You know,

844
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: it's like you know, but I mean getting away with

845
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,720
Speaker 1: the washing machine. I mean that's a true heist. Score

846
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:15,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, man.

847
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 5: I mean I gave up on it a long time ago.

848
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 1: So there's two steps to that. You have to deceive

849
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 1: the part you have a disguise.

850
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 5: Kind of yeah, kind of, but that was actually who

851
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 5: I was.

852
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: All right, So you you stole a lot of things,

853
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 1: and then and then you talked to it about you

854
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 1: talked to this woman at church about this, and what

855
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 1: did she have to tell you?

856
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 5: Well, they tried to portray it to like my relationship

857
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 5: with my father, because how it all started. I would

858
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 5: steal money from him. And granted he wasn't a good

859
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 5: father when I was a little kid, so my relationship

860
00:48:56,800 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 5: with him wasn't that great. So he's old school, so

861
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 5: he keeps his money and his illegal money under his mattress.

862
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 5: So I wouldn't steel, like, you know, a couple bucks,

863
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 5: I'd steel you know, two thousand and three thousand dollars

864
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 5: every week.

865
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: And how did you not notice that?

866
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 5: Well, apparently this dude is rolling in money. I mean,

867
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 5: I could go on and on about how you know,

868
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 5: he's still a shitty father to me.

869
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,840
Speaker 1: But had enough that he wasn't noticing two thousand and

870
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: three thousand bucks just a stock PI looks man.

871
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 5: He had a nineteen eleven and uh, what's it called

872
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 5: one of those fanny packs full of cash that you know,

873
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,920
Speaker 5: just had scrumpled up hundreds in it, you know, and

874
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 5: then the other stuff were just like rolls of hundreds,

875
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 5: and uh, you know, it is what it is. You know,

876
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 5: I didn't. I was too young at the time to

877
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,279
Speaker 5: even care. You know. It's like I have money, I

878
00:49:55,320 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 5: want money. But turns out, you know, like as I

879
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 5: grew older and stuff like that. Yeah, he he uh,

880
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 5: manages a lot of salons, dry cleaners, a lot of

881
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 5: those places in the Asian community, so you know, so

882
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 5: they give them cash because you know they have some

883
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 5: of them have illegal businesses. And that's how it all started.

884
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 5: But nonetheless, you just started talking about how, you know,

885
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 5: why do you hate your father.

886
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 2: Things like that, Well, because.

887
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 6: You know, he's a.

888
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 5: You know, I live in his shadow and I hated it.

889
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 5: So you know, now I'm here, far far away from

890
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 5: Michigan and living in the middle of nowhere in the

891
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 5: woods and I don't know. I just told her. You know,

892
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 5: I don't think I'll be able to forgive him now

893
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 5: because I felt bad at one point I wanted to

894
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 5: apologize and talent. But you know, the last time I

895
00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 5: talked to him, he said I was broke and a

896
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 5: loser and laughed at me and I hung up. So

897
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 5: you know, like, you know what he doesn't really need

898
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 5: to know now, and you know that's how Asian families are.

899
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 9: You know, M.

900
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: Then you how long ago was this when you last

901
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 1: talked to.

902
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:23,919
Speaker 5: Him, I'd say in August of last year?

903
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 1: Hm, you have an all plans talk to him again?

904
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,919
Speaker 5: Well, I figured i'd call him for Father's Day next month,

905
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 5: but I think he would just asked me if I'm

906
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 5: making money yet, So kind of that thing where I

907
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:44,720
Speaker 5: need to reevaluate my relationship with him. But it's hard,

908
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 5: you know, it's uh, he's not really you know, everything

909
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 5: that I wanted to be when I was a kid

910
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,319
Speaker 5: with him, but now it's more like everything I don't

911
00:51:55,320 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 5: want to be is him. M And uh, I don't know.

912
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say he's the source of all my my

913
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 5: my greatest sin, but it's one of the most sinful

914
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 5: things I've done, I don't know. And I used to

915
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 5: manipulate all my I don't know, my peers in school

916
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 5: with money.

917
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: Used to manipulate your peers in school with money, like

918
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 1: you would pay them to do things for you.

919
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was fun to just throw twenty bucks on

920
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 5: the floor and wash them fight over it. Things like

921
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 5: that and amusement, because I knew that money wasn't mine,

922
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 5: you know, like, hey man, you take this cheese stick

923
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 5: and smack your friend, I'll give you twenty bucks. That's

924
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 5: stupid stuff.

925
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 8: You.

926
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 1: I feel like you were like like like one of

927
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 1: those people that stood at the top of in the

928
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: balcony at the Roman Wars watching people that you know

929
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,800
Speaker 1: pitting fights for amusement.

930
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,839
Speaker 5: Well, that's you know, that's it was a lie.

931
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: If I had disposable income at when I was in

932
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: high school, I would definitely spend a little bit of

933
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 1: it on initiating cheese steak fights. I think that, you

934
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 1: know a lot of people might.

935
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 4: Yeah.

936
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 5: I mean I've honestly just probably did, because you know,

937
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 5: I didn't want the affection, you know, like my dad

938
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 5: didn't give me any affection or attention back when I

939
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 5: was young or whatever. But you know, he right, you know,

940
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 5: it is the same a lot of Asian Parents Day

941
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 5: or whatever it is. Well, he's never really said that

942
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 5: type of stuff. Mostly my dad just said the maggot

943
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 5: time night and then that basically like damn this guy

944
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:54,279
Speaker 5: in a simplistic term. But you know, like I don't

945
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 5: know a lot of shit like that. He never said

946
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 5: anything else like he was proud of me or something

947
00:53:59,360 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 5: like that.

948
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:03,439
Speaker 1: He just well, so it sounds to me like now,

949
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 1: I mean now though, it sounds to me like now

950
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 1: you've you've you've sort of got your own life going. Yeah,

951
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,840
Speaker 1: but that's awesome. It's I you know, I feel for

952
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 1: we get we get people calling in being like, you know,

953
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 1: I want to do something that I make my family

954
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 1: proud of me and this and that, and you know,

955
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: I it's it's cool when when people are able to

956
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 1: move past that and be able to build something just independently.

957
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, And I'll tell you what I'm trying. I'm

958
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:36,840
Speaker 5: getting there. But it's not only like it's trying to

959
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 5: pick up the pieces after you get out. I got out,

960
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 5: but it's uh, now it's I gotta I gotta get

961
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 5: the rest of my siblings out. You know, we all

962
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:51,840
Speaker 5: came out pretty messed up from whatever happened with our family.

963
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:55,799
Speaker 1: So do and if your siblings live uh near where

964
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 1: you live.

965
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 5: Oh, my sister does, but she she got affected up

966
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 5: my dad pretty heavily. So she's on that you know,

967
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 5: you need to be successful blah blah blah blah and

968
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 5: have enough money, David. And you know, they shunned me

969
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 5: for about a year and I wasn't allowed to go

970
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 5: to uh family gatherings or anything like that for about

971
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 5: a year because I've actually told him, hey, bug off,

972
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 5: I'm gonna do whatever I want to do. And I

973
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 5: was all right, well, don't talk to them. And I

974
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 5: was like, well, that's sucks.

975
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:31,359
Speaker 1: And then listen before we go, I mean, what's your

976
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: what's your your dream goal?

977
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 6: Man?

978
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 5: I just want to honestly, I just wanted to be

979
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 5: content with myself. I just want to be acknowledged by myself.

980
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: I like that. I think that that's a good goal.

981
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 1: I think that. You know, Look, I'm priort of you, man.

982
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 1: It sounds like you've been able to get a good

983
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 1: dent in that by moving away from from your family.

984
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't do that. A lot of

985
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: people will just succumb to, you know, living by their parents'

986
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: expectations for their entire life. But you know, even though

987
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 1: it's hard, I'm glad to hear you making a dent

988
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 1: in it.

989
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, thanks man, Thanks man, It means a lot. I

990
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:24,399
Speaker 5: can't even I can't even believe I got.

991
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,399
Speaker 1: A phone call with you, you know for sure.

992
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 5: Man, I've been watching you for a long time, called

993
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,879
Speaker 5: you like fifty times to night, told everyone I knew

994
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,919
Speaker 5: about you. Like, man, it seems like a cool guy.

995
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:37,759
Speaker 5: I gotta talk to him.

996
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 1: Well, listen, did what you say your name was? Your

997
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: name was? I'm not gonna guess because I'm going to

998
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 1: get wrong. What's your name was?

999
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 5: David?

1000
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:46,759
Speaker 1: David? Okay? I was going to guess Philip and that

1001
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 1: would have been wrong. Well, thank you so much for

1002
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,319
Speaker 1: calling David. You ever one for us to the night,

1003
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 1: you too, thinks.

1004
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 10: All from Jim, Jim, that's me?

1005
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:05,320
Speaker 1: How are you?

1006
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 4: How you doing?

1007
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: Lie? Say your name was Jim?

1008
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 10: Correct?

1009
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:12,239
Speaker 1: Jay? I am you spell that again?

1010
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:13,799
Speaker 5: Jay?

1011
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 4: I am?

1012
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 1: Can you spell back?

1013
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 6: Am? I? I?

1014
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 4: Jay?

1015
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 1: How have you sinned? Jim?

1016
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 10: Oh lyle? This is this is not our recent sin.

1017
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 10: It happened a quite a long time ago when I

1018
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 10: was Oh, I don't know, played eighteen or nineteen. I'm

1019
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 10: thirty one now, mm hmmm. We lived on a lake,

1020
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 10: and I guess I don't even know if it's really

1021
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 10: a sin. It's just kind of something that's fucked up.

1022
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,600
Speaker 10: But I kind of think about more often than that.

1023
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 5: Shill.

1024
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:52,040
Speaker 4: Uh.

1025
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 10: So we were We lived on a lake, I said,

1026
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 10: by the by the dock. This tiny little bird flew

1027
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 10: up and landed in the water, and it landed far

1028
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 10: out in the water, far enough to where I couldn't

1029
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 10: grab it. And it wasn't there for about a minute

1030
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,400
Speaker 10: before it folded, you know, close enough to where I

1031
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 10: could reach the bird. I pulled the bird out of

1032
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 10: the water, and it is struggling to breathe. It's it's

1033
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 10: in a bad place, and morally, I didn't feel that

1034
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 10: I should sit there and let the bird struggle like that. Now,

1035
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 10: I'm I'm no avi ay expert by any means, but

1036
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 10: I assumed the bird was going to die.

1037
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 1: So where was the bird? Wait? So the bird was

1038
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: the bird was dying already because it was because it

1039
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 1: was drowning.

1040
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe it was.

1041
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 10: So I pulled it out of the water and it

1042
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 10: was just like and I just I didn't I don't know.

1043
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 10: It just it felt bad. It felt really bad to

1044
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 10: sit there and watch the bird making that noise.

1045
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: Mmmm. Well, I guess you, I guess if you put

1046
00:58:57,520 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: it out of his miseries, that is.

1047
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 10: That that is where it's going to lead to. Yes,

1048
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 10: I put the bird off its misery. But I just

1049
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:07,479
Speaker 10: don't know if.

1050
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: I was not that bad because if you but I

1051
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 1: guess you didn't, you didn't know, Like, I don't know,

1052
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would have done there. I

1053
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 1: don't know what I would have done there.

1054
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,960
Speaker 10: Yeah, I just I don't know, Like like I said, like,

1055
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 10: I'm not really a sin per se, but it's it's

1056
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 10: not maybe the the right thing to have done at

1057
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 10: the time.

1058
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know what I would have done because

1059
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 1: if the bird, because if the bird, you know, you

1060
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 1: didn't want to watch the bird just sit there and

1061
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 1: riose in pain?

1062
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 6: Yes, correct, I mean, and you're not you.

1063
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 1: Don't know how to fits not like you are a bird.

1064
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 1: You can fix it.

1065
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 10: No, And I taking it to a veterinarian or the

1066
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 10: animal rescue center kind of seemed out of the picture

1067
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 10: at that point in time.

1068
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: Damn. Yeah, it was a tough decision.

1069
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 4: I agree.

1070
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 10: I agree it was, and I'm just not sure if

1071
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 10: I made the right decision at the time. Like I said,

1072
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,280
Speaker 10: it's not recent. This happened quite quite some time ago,

1073
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 10: but I do think about it every now and again,

1074
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 10: more often than I should.

1075
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

1076
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: What when you think about it? What sort of thoughts

1077
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 1: do you have that ship man?

1078
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 10: Did I do the right thing? Was that the right

1079
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 10: choice to make?

1080
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 6: Mmm?

1081
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 1: Have you talked about this with anyone else?

1082
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 9: Oh?

1083
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 10: No, not really?

1084
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm No.

1085
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 10: I mean, I'm sure somebody knows. I'm sure my mom

1086
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 10: knows about it or something. I'm sure I told her

1087
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 10: when it happened, but recently.

1088
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: So when you told your mom what happened, what did

1089
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 1: she said? Did she think you did the the correct thing?

1090
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 10: I think she said something similar to, well, that's kind

1091
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 10: of fucked up, Jim.

1092
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 1: But you know, you know, she just said, she just

1093
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 1: said that's kind of fucked up, and then she walked away.

1094
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 10: Dude, Well how she didn't walk away? I mean, I

1095
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 10: think we continued to talk about it, but.

1096
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 8: It was it was kind of fucked up.

1097
01:00:58,160 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 1: Make dinner.

1098
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 10: I don't know if you made dinner. I don't regab

1099
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 10: what happened the rest of that day. I might have

1100
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 10: eaten that bird.

1101
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 6: I'm just kidding.

1102
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 10: We didn't eat the bird. That that would be fucked up.

1103
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 1: No, that wouldn't have because all right, well theoretically if

1104
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 1: you ate that bird, wouldn't that have also been the

1105
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 1: right thing to do, because if you're supposed to use

1106
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 1: every part of the animal.

1107
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:23,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I.

1108
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: Mean, I'll say, personally, if I die, you can eat

1109
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: me if you want. Just that's an open invitation. If

1110
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 1: there are any like, like if there are any cannibals

1111
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 1: out there, and like, you know how when you go

1112
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 1: to you know, when you're like if you're like addicted

1113
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 1: to like a drug or something, you got to rehab.

1114
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 1: They give you a little bit of the drug so

1115
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 1: you don't go through like intense withdrawal. Yeah, sure, yeah,

1116
01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 1: if they have, if there's some sort of like rehab

1117
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 1: for cannibals where like cannibal, they turn in cannibals and

1118
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,520
Speaker 1: they need to give them a little bit of human

1119
01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 1: flesh or so so they don't go through withdraw I will,

1120
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 1: I'll glad volunteer to be the dead guy that they

1121
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 1: feed to the cannibals for that purpose, and you can

1122
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: eat me if you're dead. I mean, I'm just saying

1123
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 1: appreciate how I would feel. I mean the bird. I'm

1124
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 1: sure it didn't have like anything in his wallet about that,

1125
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:18,160
Speaker 1: but I.

1126
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 10: Don't even think it had a concept of anything close

1127
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:22,280
Speaker 10: to that.

1128
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:27,040
Speaker 1: No, I don't know what kind of Maybe it's not

1129
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 1: with us.

1130
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:31,440
Speaker 10: Yeah, probably that's just in the ground I buried it.

1131
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 10: That's where it's at.

1132
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 4: It's bones.

1133
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:36,439
Speaker 10: Its bones, my guy.

1134
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 1: Well you know what, Jim, Soon enough will all be bones.

1135
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 10: That is the truest statement I've ever heard.

1136
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 1: You ever won for us in the night.

1137
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 10: Jim, you too, Lyle, thank you for your time.

1138
01:02:51,880 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 9: All from Josh Josh.

1139
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:05,320
Speaker 2: Josh did not expect to make it on go figure.

1140
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 2: You never know what do you mean?

1141
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 8: What do you mean?

1142
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:08,080
Speaker 1: And expect to make it on? Josh?

1143
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:13,080
Speaker 2: You called, uh yeah, But statistically speaking, I wasn't going

1144
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 2: to make it on.

1145
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,640
Speaker 1: Who cares about statistics? Josh. You have the heart of

1146
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,760
Speaker 1: the cards and you're not You're not a hard guy.

1147
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 1: Have we spoken before, Josh?

1148
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:23,920
Speaker 2: No, we have.

1149
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love I love this is so

1150
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 1: I'm so happy, Josh. I mean, not only do I

1151
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 1: get to be a kick on the computer. Every time

1152
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:33,919
Speaker 1: I do this stream, I get to talk to tons

1153
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 1: of brand new people. This is this is incredible. I'm

1154
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:37,920
Speaker 1: so happy you call in.

1155
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:39,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you said, you said a few minutes ago. It's

1156
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:41,840
Speaker 2: a one and done situation. So we have to make

1157
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 2: it good, right.

1158
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:47,320
Speaker 1: You know, I don't have any exclusive like, that's not

1159
01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 1: a rule. You know, I'm not going to hang up

1160
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 1: on you, because I feel like that would be you know. Look,

1161
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 1: I mean if if someone calls back in, if I

1162
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 1: get a return caller, you know, that's that's probably a

1163
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 1: person who you know has been with the stream for

1164
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 1: a while and you know, coming back, and I'm like, well,

1165
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 1: and I want to snub these people, you know, So

1166
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: I feel bad making it a rule. But at the

1167
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:08,800
Speaker 1: same coin, you know a lot of people trying to

1168
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:12,280
Speaker 1: get in, and you know, you know, anyway, we.

1169
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 2: Try to be fair. How are you, Josh, Well, I'm

1170
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 2: connecting my ears. So if I drop out for half

1171
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:27,080
Speaker 2: a second, that's why here we go, it'll come.

1172
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 4: There. We are.

1173
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 2: So so how hast to out sinned?

1174
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 1: There's a question, right sure is how have you sinned?

1175
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:43,400
Speaker 2: Well?

1176
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:44,120
Speaker 6: I have?

1177
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:49,880
Speaker 2: I have failed to do everything that I can to

1178
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,600
Speaker 2: be successful so that I can help other people.

1179
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 1: You have failed to do everything that you can to

1180
01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: be successful that you can help other people. How old

1181
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:00,040
Speaker 1: do you.

1182
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 2: For a few more days?

1183
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 6: Thirty eight?

1184
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 1: Why do you say you have failed thus far thus far? Okay,

1185
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:14,800
Speaker 1: when you say you have failed to do everything you can,

1186
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 1: that's I mean, that's a whole big.

1187
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:20,840
Speaker 2: Well Okay, yeah, that's a bit much. That's a bit much.

1188
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:25,480
Speaker 2: How about I haven't achieved even you know, basic stable

1189
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 2: success for myself, so then I'm able to reach out

1190
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 2: to products.

1191
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,640
Speaker 1: But you're not talking about achievements. You're talking about trying.

1192
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:35,120
Speaker 1: You're saying I have failed to try. You have not

1193
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 1: that there's a failing to try and trying and failing.

1194
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:43,280
Speaker 2: Well, obviously I haven't tried hard enough, have I?

1195
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, before you do something, I think it's important

1196
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,440
Speaker 1: to define what it is you actually are trying to do.

1197
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,240
Speaker 1: So what is it that you are trying to do?

1198
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:56,560
Speaker 6: Well?

1199
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 2: What you know? They tell you on the airplane that

1200
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 2: you have to put your on mask on first? Right, Yes,

1201
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,920
Speaker 2: you can't help you can't help anyone else if you

1202
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 2: if you're not in a position to sure. So so

1203
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 2: far I haven't put myself in a position to help anyone. Okay,

1204
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 2: I get up, But what do you put you.

1205
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:20,680
Speaker 1: In a position to help other people?

1206
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 2: I mean, you know the basics, you know, having a

1207
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 2: stable job, having stable emotions, having a stable schedule, having

1208
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 2: you know, just general basic stability, things that most people

1209
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 2: should have and hopefully many.

1210
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:35,200
Speaker 4: People do have.

1211
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 1: Have you made sort of concrete definitions of what stability

1212
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 1: looks like to you?

1213
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1214
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:47,840
Speaker 1: And what are those definitions?

1215
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,400
Speaker 2: I mean, having a home, having a job that has

1216
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 2: enough money to keep that home, keeping that home in order,

1217
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 2: enough money to pay your bills, you know, like, uh,

1218
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 2: enough money to see all the uh physical and mental

1219
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:08,320
Speaker 2: health professionals you need to see, enough to uh to

1220
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,000
Speaker 2: you know, engage in the self care that is needed

1221
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:12,960
Speaker 2: to keep one healthy.

1222
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

1223
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:17,880
Speaker 8: Yeah mmm.

1224
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,840
Speaker 1: Have you gone to see I mean for the you know,

1225
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:25,560
Speaker 1: when you mentioned emotional stability, have you gone to see

1226
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:26,920
Speaker 1: a license?

1227
01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:28,240
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1228
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 2: So I do not have uh uh an appropriate relationship,

1229
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 2: pirapeutic relationship with a mental health professional. It is a

1230
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:39,439
Speaker 2: very daunting thing for me. I've reached out and tried

1231
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 2: a number of times. It hasn't worked out. And you know,

1232
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 2: you kind of you spend a lot of energy and efforts,

1233
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,720
Speaker 2: you know, sewing your guts and what do you do

1234
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:47,800
Speaker 2: you go for a while?

1235
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:49,200
Speaker 1: What do you mean, what do you mean you've reached

1236
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 1: out to? What do you mean you've reached out?

1237
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:54,360
Speaker 2: No, I've gone like I have gone. I'm engaged in

1238
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 2: the therapeutic process of me the appointments of people, and

1239
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 2: I've gone to see them and for a very long

1240
01:07:58,840 --> 01:07:59,200
Speaker 2: time time.

1241
01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: So, by the way, by the way, first of all,

1242
01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 1: first of all, you opened this with saying you haven't tried, okay,

1243
01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: and that's wrong.

1244
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:08,640
Speaker 2: You know well how you need it.

1245
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:12,280
Speaker 1: Thus far, forget about whether I used to say that

1246
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 1: you've tried, you know, I just want to make it

1247
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 1: clear you've said, you said that you didn't try, and

1248
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:17,599
Speaker 1: you you have tried.

1249
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 2: I would have to go back and remember my words.

1250
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's possible. It's possible that I wasn't giving

1251
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,599
Speaker 2: myself enough credit in that particular sense. But the true,

1252
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:30,400
Speaker 2: the true sin here, since that's what we're talking about,

1253
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:33,120
Speaker 2: is that you know, I haven't I haven't leveraged my

1254
01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:36,840
Speaker 2: advantages and I haven't vanquished my challenges to the point

1255
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,240
Speaker 2: where I can just participate and you know, not be

1256
01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:41,920
Speaker 2: a drain on society and be an additive factor.

1257
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:45,400
Speaker 1: Okay, when you've gone to you said, you've reached out

1258
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 1: to these professionals, what and you I'm assuming you've told

1259
01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 1: them everything you've told me to.

1260
01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:53,680
Speaker 2: A degree or another. I mean, this is you know,

1261
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 2: it's been over a long span of time. In my view,

1262
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:57,840
Speaker 2: hasn't always been quite so clear.

1263
01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 1: And when you tell them what you tell when when

1264
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 1: you tell these therapists what you have told me, what

1265
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 1: do they tell you?

1266
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 2: Some of them resonate, some of them don't. A lot

1267
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,839
Speaker 2: of them are hacks. A lot of them are trying

1268
01:09:10,920 --> 01:09:14,080
Speaker 2: and are just in the wrong profession. Uh, very few

1269
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,280
Speaker 2: have actually gotten any respect for me. Yeah.

1270
01:09:17,479 --> 01:09:20,599
Speaker 1: Interesting. You know the term hack I used to do

1271
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:24,040
Speaker 1: stand up and that was a big thing. That that's

1272
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 1: that's a that's a big term, and stand up a hack,

1273
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:31,479
Speaker 1: I think stand up a little bit. But it's funny.

1274
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:36,200
Speaker 1: I've never heard that in uhuh being I kind of

1275
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:38,240
Speaker 1: actually I actually kind of like that a little bit.

1276
01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:39,280
Speaker 1: I mean, I know it's cynical.

1277
01:09:40,280 --> 01:09:45,080
Speaker 2: Uh well, yeah, you more hack you and more expect

1278
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:49,439
Speaker 2: to hear a quack. But that's like a question stronger, Yeah,

1279
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:53,200
Speaker 2: a quack is usually uh, you know, in the medical sense,

1280
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:55,320
Speaker 2: you know, quack doctors, but.

1281
01:09:55,479 --> 01:09:58,600
Speaker 1: A hack quack to me quack and hack, because a

1282
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:01,880
Speaker 1: quack to me is someone who practices something that's fake,

1283
01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:04,599
Speaker 1: where a hack is someone that.

1284
01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:10,920
Speaker 2: Practice is something real poorly. Yes, yeah, yeah, that works.

1285
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:13,880
Speaker 1: But I I I think hack is a funny way

1286
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 1: to describe a therapist. A lot of them are a

1287
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:20,720
Speaker 1: bad one, Yeah, a lot of I'm not I.

1288
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:23,519
Speaker 2: Don't mean to pain, yeah, and I don't. So that's

1289
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 2: the thing. I don't know. They're not all hacks. A

1290
01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:26,599
Speaker 2: lot of them. A lot of them are that thing

1291
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 2: I don't need to paint everybody, especially there's there's you.

1292
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:30,960
Speaker 6: Know, there's a whole there's a whole herd.

1293
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 2: Of magical unicorn therapists out there, and like I gotta

1294
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 2: go catch one or one or something. But like it's

1295
01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:36,320
Speaker 2: a it's a daunting task.

1296
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:37,639
Speaker 4: Hm hmm.

1297
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 1: Okay, Well you've tried.

1298
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:44,360
Speaker 2: I've put in some time. Did you stop trying? I

1299
01:10:44,360 --> 01:10:46,040
Speaker 2: I haven't put in effort in a very.

1300
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:50,640
Speaker 1: Long time, okay. Or do you have a Do you

1301
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:51,040
Speaker 1: have a job.

1302
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 2: I could have a job.

1303
01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 6: How's that one?

1304
01:10:56,560 --> 01:10:59,760
Speaker 2: Uh, there's been work that's available to me that I've

1305
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:03,759
Speaker 2: been unable to overcome my anxiety and go do okay.

1306
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 1: So it sounds like, uh okay, So it sounds like

1307
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:10,360
Speaker 1: you got to get the the first thing we've been

1308
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 1: talking about, which is, you know, mental health help before

1309
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 1: you go out and get a job. You know you

1310
01:11:15,479 --> 01:11:18,799
Speaker 1: you don't want to be taking on all your demons at.

1311
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 2: Once, one thing at a time, right.

1312
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:26,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, mm hmm. Why is there such a daunting task

1313
01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:28,240
Speaker 1: for you to find the therapist?

1314
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:37,280
Speaker 2: Hcause because I've put too much on it. Really, really,

1315
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,400
Speaker 2: all I need, all I need to get going is

1316
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:42,800
Speaker 2: someone who can like effectively be an executive assistance, like

1317
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 2: that would get my day to day j I'm started,

1318
01:11:44,720 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 2: and I don't have to get into these psychoanalysis until

1319
01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:50,439
Speaker 2: part sometimes, but you know, I kind of lump it

1320
01:11:50,479 --> 01:11:52,320
Speaker 2: all together and it's like if I go once, then

1321
01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:54,120
Speaker 2: I want that person to be my everything and like

1322
01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 2: it black and white, thinking it's not super healthy.

1323
01:11:56,760 --> 01:11:59,040
Speaker 1: You said you need an executive assistant? What do you

1324
01:11:59,040 --> 01:11:59,800
Speaker 1: What do you mean that? Yeah?

1325
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:02,200
Speaker 2: Like if so, what I mean is, you know, you

1326
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:05,360
Speaker 2: know how like being rich in the United States, like

1327
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:08,639
Speaker 2: it doesn't fix problems, but sometimes it does, and sometimes

1328
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:12,640
Speaker 2: it just helps you avoid them. So there are executives

1329
01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:15,160
Speaker 2: that I've worked with, and you know this, this this

1330
01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:19,120
Speaker 2: personality type is parody in media everywhere. They're a mess.

1331
01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:21,519
Speaker 2: They're a complete mess, and the only reason they're able

1332
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:23,479
Speaker 2: to function in everyday life is because they have people

1333
01:12:23,479 --> 01:12:27,280
Speaker 2: who they pay to do things for them. So that's

1334
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:29,760
Speaker 2: a realistic thing. Like if I literally just had the

1335
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:32,400
Speaker 2: money to pay an executive assistant and kept the schedule,

1336
01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:34,800
Speaker 2: kept me on target, et cetera, you know, poke me

1337
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,639
Speaker 2: in the dressing that I needed to go and definitely

1338
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:38,600
Speaker 2: enough to get me started. But no one has that

1339
01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:39,200
Speaker 2: kind of money.

1340
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:42,439
Speaker 1: You know, Well, okay, if you needed well okay, well

1341
01:12:42,479 --> 01:12:44,839
Speaker 1: here I'm confused because you're painting a picture of yourself

1342
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:50,960
Speaker 1: as you're you're painting this image of yourself as you say,

1343
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:55,320
Speaker 1: you're not contributing to society, but you have enough to do.

1344
01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:59,560
Speaker 1: You have enough that you need to do that would require.

1345
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:06,360
Speaker 2: An assistant, I know, like even basic Okay, I'm saying

1346
01:13:06,360 --> 01:13:09,960
Speaker 2: the effective equivalent of that, not like the actual dude

1347
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:13,120
Speaker 2: that's his business test. I mean from basic everyday such

1348
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:16,160
Speaker 2: like you know, like just functioning.

1349
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:21,880
Speaker 1: Okay, you need hell function? I mean, are you have

1350
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:25,320
Speaker 1: you you know, have you been diagnosed with like a

1351
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:26,960
Speaker 1: legitimate mental illness.

1352
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:27,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1353
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've received diagnoses of major depressions disorder and borderline

1354
01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 2: personality disorder.

1355
01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:37,840
Speaker 1: You you should, again, man, I mean there's not There's

1356
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:38,840
Speaker 1: not a whole lot I can tell you, but you

1357
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:41,479
Speaker 1: should continue to definitely, you know. Well, one thing I

1358
01:13:41,479 --> 01:13:43,519
Speaker 1: do want to tell you, and I'm not a real

1359
01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:44,479
Speaker 1: therapist or anything.

1360
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:47,080
Speaker 2: I'm not, you know, no, but you're a thoughtful sould

1361
01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:48,560
Speaker 2: who usually has good opinions.

1362
01:13:49,439 --> 01:13:51,679
Speaker 1: Okay, well, then here's what I'll tell you. I'll tell

1363
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:58,920
Speaker 1: you uh uh. You started this out by saying that

1364
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:03,920
Speaker 1: you haven't been trying, which we determined is not true.

1365
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:08,960
Speaker 1: You have been trying. You've been putting an effort. I would,

1366
01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:13,000
Speaker 1: if I were you, just continue to put in that

1367
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:17,439
Speaker 1: effort and you will eventually, I believe, find a mental

1368
01:14:17,479 --> 01:14:21,240
Speaker 1: health professional that clicks with you. And it sounds like

1369
01:14:21,280 --> 01:14:23,640
Speaker 1: that's really what you need, and so I.

1370
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:28,439
Speaker 2: Would answers find ye. Yeah, the answer is always just

1371
01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:31,000
Speaker 2: do it. It's it's difficult to you know, to find

1372
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,960
Speaker 2: the strength to do that, especially after at risk of

1373
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:36,040
Speaker 2: you know, I don't want to turn the conversation political,

1374
01:14:36,080 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 2: but it's been five years of socio political trauma and

1375
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:42,320
Speaker 2: it's been pretty harsh.

1376
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:47,599
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, keep keep staying in the path, man,

1377
01:14:47,680 --> 01:14:50,080
Speaker 1: keep trying to find someone that's the best I can

1378
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:51,479
Speaker 1: tell you.

1379
01:14:51,560 --> 01:14:53,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's the best anyone could. That's the thing,

1380
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:55,960
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's it's just you know, you need

1381
01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:58,160
Speaker 2: to hear it as often as possible, and hear it

1382
01:14:58,160 --> 01:14:59,479
Speaker 2: from the right people as all.

1383
01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:04,639
Speaker 1: Of course. Man, I appreciate you sharing, Josh Josh right.

1384
01:15:04,640 --> 01:15:06,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's the word.

1385
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:07,320
Speaker 6: I don't know.

1386
01:15:09,479 --> 01:15:11,759
Speaker 2: Well done. I don't know if my brother is listening,

1387
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:14,240
Speaker 2: but he's He told me that I have to watch

1388
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:14,639
Speaker 2: your show.

1389
01:15:15,200 --> 01:15:18,800
Speaker 1: So helliat, what what's your relationship with your brother?

1390
01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:19,040
Speaker 7: Like?

1391
01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:22,559
Speaker 2: Uh, he's the only one in my family that I

1392
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,080
Speaker 2: can be particularly close to. All the rest of them

1393
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:27,960
Speaker 2: are awful conservatives of some sort or another.

1394
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:30,840
Speaker 1: Okay, when you tell real quick before we go, because

1395
01:15:30,840 --> 01:15:32,639
Speaker 1: I'm curious about this. When you tell all this stuff

1396
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,960
Speaker 1: to your brother, I'm assuming you have because you're probably

1397
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:36,360
Speaker 1: you're closer with him than you are with me, and

1398
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:37,400
Speaker 1: you've told me all this stuff.

1399
01:15:37,800 --> 01:15:39,719
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell him to watch the odds, So.

1400
01:15:41,280 --> 01:15:43,439
Speaker 1: All right, tell him to watch the vod and then

1401
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:45,760
Speaker 1: listen to what he says, because he seems like he's

1402
01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:46,360
Speaker 1: a smart guy.

1403
01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:49,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, he knows this stuff. You know,

1404
01:15:50,200 --> 01:15:50,519
Speaker 2: what is it?

1405
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:50,800
Speaker 4: What is it?

1406
01:15:50,920 --> 01:15:52,559
Speaker 1: What does he usually tell you when you when you

1407
01:15:52,600 --> 01:15:53,559
Speaker 1: come to him for advice?

1408
01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 2: Uh, you know, there's not really anything that anyone can

1409
01:15:58,520 --> 01:16:00,880
Speaker 2: tell me. And and and that's the thing. It's like, Uh,

1410
01:16:01,360 --> 01:16:03,760
Speaker 2: sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is

1411
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:05,240
Speaker 2: just let them know that you're there for them and

1412
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:06,160
Speaker 2: not tell them what to do.

1413
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:10,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well listen, man, you have a good rest

1414
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:13,680
Speaker 1: of the night, Josh, and good luck to you.

1415
01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 2: For you too. I appreciate your time. Good man, I

1416
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:18,760
Speaker 2: have a good thing.

1417
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:24,000
Speaker 1: That was thirteen minutes that did not feel like thirteen minutes.

1418
01:16:24,439 --> 01:16:26,200
Speaker 9: All from what Mark?

1419
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:28,120
Speaker 7: Tick?

1420
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:29,960
Speaker 1: Stop? Yeah? How you doing? Doug?

1421
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:30,479
Speaker 5: Hello?

1422
01:16:31,200 --> 01:16:31,880
Speaker 1: Hey, what's up?

1423
01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:33,640
Speaker 6: Player? What's going on?

1424
01:16:34,040 --> 01:16:34,200
Speaker 8: Well?

1425
01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,400
Speaker 1: What's what's up with you? How have you? Sin?

1426
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:38,240
Speaker 8: Oh?

1427
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:39,680
Speaker 1: Big?

1428
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:40,200
Speaker 3: A genre?

1429
01:16:40,280 --> 01:16:40,439
Speaker 9: Man?

1430
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:41,280
Speaker 3: All around?

1431
01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:45,800
Speaker 1: A genre? Like a genre, a genre of sin.

1432
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:48,320
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1433
01:16:48,360 --> 01:16:49,679
Speaker 1: You you tell me what you got?

1434
01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 5: You?

1435
01:16:50,040 --> 01:16:52,400
Speaker 1: You you tell me? Where are we going here?

1436
01:16:54,439 --> 01:16:54,639
Speaker 8: Oh?

1437
01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:55,120
Speaker 4: Shit?

1438
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:58,160
Speaker 3: In directions man on the nearest sin that would be

1439
01:16:58,200 --> 01:17:04,479
Speaker 3: worth a ship. Not so much lately now that I'm

1440
01:17:04,479 --> 01:17:06,160
Speaker 3: a dad man. But you know, when I was a kid,

1441
01:17:06,160 --> 01:17:06,800
Speaker 3: I was shipped.

1442
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:09,680
Speaker 1: When you were a kid, you were a piece of

1443
01:17:09,760 --> 01:17:15,120
Speaker 1: ship pretty much. How so that's the worst thing you did.

1444
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:18,400
Speaker 1: It's not gonna make it's not gonna make me. It's

1445
01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:20,200
Speaker 1: not gonna it's not gonna piss me off.

1446
01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:20,320
Speaker 9: Is it?

1447
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:24,680
Speaker 3: No, not going to piss you off. No, I'm I'm

1448
01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:25,840
Speaker 3: an actual piece of ship.

1449
01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:27,920
Speaker 1: Would you would you do when you were a kid?

1450
01:17:29,240 --> 01:17:31,800
Speaker 3: Oh, just steady sold drugs, was a piece of ship,

1451
01:17:32,160 --> 01:17:34,160
Speaker 3: lied a lot and thought I was all about myself.

1452
01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:36,280
Speaker 3: But you know, when you have kids, man, it starts

1453
01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:37,559
Speaker 3: to do your reality chick.

1454
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:40,439
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Okay, so you you you have kids now?

1455
01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:42,280
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, hell yeah.

1456
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:44,000
Speaker 1: Are your kids anything like how you were when you

1457
01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:44,360
Speaker 1: were a kid?

1458
01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:45,800
Speaker 3: Absolutely not?

1459
01:17:46,840 --> 01:17:47,439
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

1460
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:51,640
Speaker 1: Uh what why do you think that is? Do you

1461
01:17:51,640 --> 01:17:54,320
Speaker 1: think that the way that you raise them is different

1462
01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:55,519
Speaker 1: than how you were raised?

1463
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:56,320
Speaker 4: Oh?

1464
01:17:56,360 --> 01:17:58,640
Speaker 3: In fact, in fact absolutely, you know, learn from the

1465
01:17:58,680 --> 01:17:59,880
Speaker 3: mistakes and travel forward.

1466
01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:03,040
Speaker 1: That's really cool because you know a lot of the

1467
01:18:03,040 --> 01:18:05,960
Speaker 1: times you hear about, you know, sort of chains of that.

1468
01:18:07,040 --> 01:18:07,160
Speaker 9: Uh.

1469
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:09,880
Speaker 1: You know, your your dad treats you shitty, so you

1470
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:12,800
Speaker 1: treat your kids shitty. You know, it sounds like you've

1471
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:14,600
Speaker 1: broaken broken a chain of sorts.

1472
01:18:15,240 --> 01:18:15,479
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1473
01:18:15,520 --> 01:18:17,960
Speaker 3: Absolutely, man, My kids are happy and healthy, man, in

1474
01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:20,600
Speaker 3: the right direction. That's just wasn't lucky enough to have

1475
01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:22,759
Speaker 3: that direction. Man, it's all.

1476
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:24,559
Speaker 1: That's cool. What do you think factored into that? What

1477
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:27,040
Speaker 1: do you think I'm allowed you to break this chain?

1478
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:28,320
Speaker 9: Oh?

1479
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:28,880
Speaker 3: The fear?

1480
01:18:28,920 --> 01:18:29,120
Speaker 6: Man.

1481
01:18:29,240 --> 01:18:32,080
Speaker 3: I've never really been scared in my life until the

1482
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:34,840
Speaker 3: first pregnancy. Man, I didn't. I didn't realize how scared

1483
01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:37,240
Speaker 3: shit actually got. So that kind of stacked me up

1484
01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:37,600
Speaker 3: a little bit.

1485
01:18:39,920 --> 01:18:42,400
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Why were you scared?

1486
01:18:43,840 --> 01:18:44,040
Speaker 2: Oh?

1487
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:44,559
Speaker 6: Man, I was.

1488
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:46,760
Speaker 3: I wasn't doing a very good job of taking care

1489
01:18:46,800 --> 01:18:48,679
Speaker 3: of myself. Man's scared shit at me home. I'm gonna

1490
01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,040
Speaker 3: take care of somebody else that needs you know what

1491
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:54,280
Speaker 3: I mean. It's just reality. I was living life for me, man,

1492
01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:57,640
Speaker 3: that's all. That's a pretty self centered, shitty way of

1493
01:18:57,680 --> 01:18:59,400
Speaker 3: going mm hmm.

1494
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:02,760
Speaker 1: You know, to talk about I I initially I didn't

1495
01:19:02,760 --> 01:19:04,519
Speaker 1: want to talk about the previous car, but I want

1496
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,160
Speaker 1: to bring up sort of what they were talking about

1497
01:19:06,160 --> 01:19:09,120
Speaker 1: because they were mentioning, you know, and I sort of

1498
01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:11,839
Speaker 1: have my own thoughts about this. You know, they're mentioning

1499
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:13,880
Speaker 1: that you know, it's important to take care of yourself

1500
01:19:14,320 --> 01:19:16,840
Speaker 1: before you take care of others. And you know, I

1501
01:19:16,880 --> 01:19:21,240
Speaker 1: don't have a refined I generally believe that, but I

1502
01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:24,280
Speaker 1: have read some things about how you know, and thought

1503
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:25,880
Speaker 1: of in my own head of some things of like

1504
01:19:25,920 --> 01:19:28,000
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like you can do both simultaneously,

1505
01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:30,799
Speaker 1: or help others as a way of helping yourself.

1506
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:33,960
Speaker 3: Oh kind of man, It kind of comes down to

1507
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:37,960
Speaker 3: that old school shit. Can't help unless you help yourself,

1508
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,720
Speaker 3: Like I can't help if I'm not producing to help them.

1509
01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:43,599
Speaker 3: You know, I'm still being a jackass. And you got

1510
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:44,720
Speaker 3: to lead by example, and you know.

1511
01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:45,120
Speaker 2: The whole thing.

1512
01:19:47,800 --> 01:19:49,479
Speaker 1: What would you say is the biggest difference between you

1513
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:51,960
Speaker 1: now and you then? If you have to pick one

1514
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:56,840
Speaker 1: key aspect caring? Caring? You care? You didn't care then,

1515
01:19:56,880 --> 01:20:04,080
Speaker 1: but now you care. We had a caller This is

1516
01:20:04,160 --> 01:20:05,640
Speaker 1: kind of a round out the evening here. We had

1517
01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:09,320
Speaker 1: a caller towards the beginning and she was telling us

1518
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:14,160
Speaker 1: that she's about nineteen and she did not care about anything,

1519
01:20:14,280 --> 01:20:19,920
Speaker 1: did not care about other people, had a hard time caring.

1520
01:20:20,439 --> 01:20:21,880
Speaker 1: What would you say to someone like that? It has

1521
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:22,759
Speaker 1: a hard time caring?

1522
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:27,360
Speaker 3: Well, you can't make anybody care. You know, they have

1523
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,000
Speaker 3: to find something to give a shit about. You know,

1524
01:20:29,080 --> 01:20:31,320
Speaker 3: something has to be important to them, you know. I mean,

1525
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:33,400
Speaker 3: not caring is kind of a mental illness, man. It's

1526
01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:35,599
Speaker 3: just a self centered way of life. And some people

1527
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:37,639
Speaker 3: get stuck in it, man. They find safety and security

1528
01:20:37,680 --> 01:20:39,439
Speaker 3: in it, man, because they don't want to trust anybody else,

1529
01:20:39,439 --> 01:20:41,080
Speaker 3: and if they care about somebody else, that leaves them

1530
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,640
Speaker 3: open to get hurt and shit. You know, you know

1531
01:20:42,680 --> 01:20:43,360
Speaker 3: it's a scary thing.

1532
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:47,880
Speaker 1: So it sounds like to me, your solution to that

1533
01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:53,080
Speaker 1: was that you ended up finding something that you cared about.

1534
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:56,160
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean I didn't find it, kind of

1535
01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:58,120
Speaker 3: found me, you know it. You know it's I mean,

1536
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:01,320
Speaker 3: you know how accidental pregnancy works, and so I was

1537
01:21:01,360 --> 01:21:03,200
Speaker 3: just it was just the eye opener for me, man.

1538
01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:06,400
Speaker 3: You know, I just realized that, holy shit, man, I'm

1539
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,800
Speaker 3: gonna have to take care of this little midget that

1540
01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:10,720
Speaker 3: genuinely needs me. Man, And you know, it changed my life.

1541
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:13,479
Speaker 1: How many kids do you have?

1542
01:21:14,479 --> 01:21:14,840
Speaker 3: I have two?

1543
01:21:14,920 --> 01:21:23,120
Speaker 1: No, for the second. Second one was an accident. First, okay, cool?

1544
01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:25,160
Speaker 1: How old are I?

1545
01:21:25,439 --> 01:21:27,479
Speaker 3: My oldest is sixteen and my youngest is eight.

1546
01:21:28,200 --> 01:21:31,200
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Okay, sixteen is cool because you can I

1547
01:21:31,240 --> 01:21:32,880
Speaker 1: feel they're like a real person.

1548
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:34,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1549
01:21:34,160 --> 01:21:36,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, it's really cool watching them grow. We're actually friends.

1550
01:21:36,479 --> 01:21:39,080
Speaker 3: You communicate. Man, it's really awesome see his personality and

1551
01:21:39,240 --> 01:21:39,960
Speaker 3: it's really awesome.

1552
01:21:40,920 --> 01:21:44,120
Speaker 1: Do you have any activities in particularly like to do

1553
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:44,599
Speaker 1: with your son?

1554
01:21:46,080 --> 01:21:46,240
Speaker 4: Oh?

1555
01:21:46,280 --> 01:21:48,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, he gets into art. And when I was younger,

1556
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:50,360
Speaker 3: I used to write graph a lot and I got

1557
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:53,800
Speaker 3: somewhat some are pretty good. I got putting a couple

1558
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:56,200
Speaker 3: of magazines and shit like that. And when he got old,

1559
01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:58,519
Speaker 3: ye showing the stuff. Man, I started showing him and

1560
01:21:58,520 --> 01:21:59,960
Speaker 3: I told him I'm not cool with him going out

1561
01:22:00,080 --> 01:22:01,439
Speaker 3: fucking know people ship like I was.

1562
01:22:01,479 --> 01:22:01,880
Speaker 9: But he can.

1563
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:03,639
Speaker 3: You know, he can draw on black books and inspire

1564
01:22:03,680 --> 01:22:06,320
Speaker 3: himself and find different art, different ways to express himselves.

1565
01:22:06,360 --> 01:22:10,880
Speaker 1: You know, are you still involved as an artist in anyway?

1566
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:12,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1567
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:14,120
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily go out and smash it anymore, but

1568
01:22:14,240 --> 01:22:16,759
Speaker 3: if I do any kind of kid up, man, nowadays,

1569
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:18,840
Speaker 3: I'm kind of a kind of what I used to

1570
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:20,320
Speaker 3: hate when I was a kid. But I only really

1571
01:22:20,360 --> 01:22:22,360
Speaker 3: hit legal ship now man, because you know, how do

1572
01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:24,080
Speaker 3: I tell my kid I'm in jail for painting somebody

1573
01:22:24,080 --> 01:22:24,559
Speaker 3: else's ship.

1574
01:22:26,120 --> 01:22:27,599
Speaker 1: Uh, that's what you do for a living.

1575
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:30,520
Speaker 3: I'm curious actually build customer motorcycles.

1576
01:22:30,520 --> 01:22:34,200
Speaker 1: Man, that sounds really cool. Are you do you like

1577
01:22:34,479 --> 01:22:36,320
Speaker 1: is there any artistry in that? Do you like paint

1578
01:22:36,479 --> 01:22:38,880
Speaker 1: them or graffiti type?

1579
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:38,960
Speaker 4: Oh?

1580
01:22:39,040 --> 01:22:39,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, design?

1581
01:22:40,640 --> 01:22:43,679
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily paint. My part of the shop is

1582
01:22:43,680 --> 01:22:47,160
Speaker 3: is fabricating and giving a lot of ideas for design

1583
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:48,599
Speaker 3: for their bike because a lot of guys are coming

1584
01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:50,720
Speaker 3: with money but no creativity, and that's kind of where

1585
01:22:50,720 --> 01:22:51,040
Speaker 3: I coming in.

1586
01:22:52,840 --> 01:22:57,160
Speaker 1: That's awesome, man. M hmm. Do you do you see

1587
01:22:57,200 --> 01:23:01,120
Speaker 1: anything in your son that maybe uh you had in

1588
01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:04,040
Speaker 1: you when you were sixteen that you didn't like that

1589
01:23:04,120 --> 01:23:04,640
Speaker 1: worries you.

1590
01:23:06,080 --> 01:23:08,479
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, a little bit of a little bit of

1591
01:23:08,520 --> 01:23:11,920
Speaker 3: paranoia about my surroundings and ship. But that came from

1592
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:14,320
Speaker 3: just not having anybody to talk to. Man, And he

1593
01:23:14,360 --> 01:23:16,639
Speaker 3: has somebody to talk to, so you know, he can

1594
01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:18,519
Speaker 3: he can be completely honest with me, man, even if

1595
01:23:18,560 --> 01:23:20,479
Speaker 3: he's gonna get in trouble or whatever. You know, he

1596
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:22,760
Speaker 3: knows he can trust me. So yeah, he you know,

1597
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:25,439
Speaker 3: he has all those little little traits I used to have,

1598
01:23:25,520 --> 01:23:27,479
Speaker 3: you know, but you know he's got somebody to talk to.

1599
01:23:27,560 --> 01:23:28,160
Speaker 3: That's a difference.

1600
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,880
Speaker 1: That's awesome. And are you married?

1601
01:23:33,760 --> 01:23:35,800
Speaker 3: I was, and thank god I'm not anymore because that

1602
01:23:35,840 --> 01:23:37,840
Speaker 3: was fucking hell mhm.

1603
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:40,599
Speaker 1: Uh Are you single now you're dating anyone?

1604
01:23:41,560 --> 01:23:41,680
Speaker 4: Oh?

1605
01:23:41,720 --> 01:23:44,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a girlfriend. Man, she's fucking she's pretty awesome.

1606
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:46,800
Speaker 3: Kind of YouTube new to my GIMI ship about girls, man,

1607
01:23:46,840 --> 01:23:47,599
Speaker 3: which is pretty cool.

1608
01:23:48,200 --> 01:23:49,680
Speaker 1: Do the kids like her?

1609
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:50,519
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1610
01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:51,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, that's that's the number one.

1611
01:23:51,880 --> 01:23:52,000
Speaker 2: Man.

1612
01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:53,599
Speaker 3: That's kids don't get along with it, no matter how

1613
01:23:53,680 --> 01:23:56,080
Speaker 3: much I like her. Issues out m.

1614
01:23:57,920 --> 01:23:59,360
Speaker 1: Seems like you got you got a good life.

1615
01:23:59,360 --> 01:23:59,519
Speaker 7: Man.

1616
01:23:59,520 --> 01:24:02,320
Speaker 1: You gotta have some good stuff going on, you know.

1617
01:24:02,479 --> 01:24:06,320
Speaker 1: I feel like you're a good success story for you

1618
01:24:06,360 --> 01:24:10,400
Speaker 1: know a lot of people. I mean, because you're how

1619
01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:12,720
Speaker 1: old you good for I guess I am.

1620
01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:14,400
Speaker 3: I'm actually forty now.

1621
01:24:14,439 --> 01:24:14,559
Speaker 6: Man.

1622
01:24:14,600 --> 01:24:16,479
Speaker 3: It's fucking crazy seeing it. I love but I'm forty now.

1623
01:24:17,080 --> 01:24:19,120
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I see. That's cool to me because you

1624
01:24:19,160 --> 01:24:22,080
Speaker 1: know we've had you know, I know it's awesome because

1625
01:24:22,120 --> 01:24:24,280
Speaker 1: I love I love having like you know, younger callers

1626
01:24:24,280 --> 01:24:27,240
Speaker 1: and older collers are in the same thing. Because you know,

1627
01:24:27,280 --> 01:24:29,000
Speaker 1: we had that girl earlier who was like, I don't

1628
01:24:29,040 --> 01:24:30,840
Speaker 1: care about anything. I don't care about anything, and it's

1629
01:24:30,840 --> 01:24:32,479
Speaker 1: like you know, it's cool to see how you can

1630
01:24:32,479 --> 01:24:36,160
Speaker 1: evolve from you know, not caring about anything or having had,

1631
01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:41,439
Speaker 1: you know, a shitty past or anything, into you know,

1632
01:24:41,520 --> 01:24:45,760
Speaker 1: having a pretty good life and a family and the

1633
01:24:45,800 --> 01:24:46,639
Speaker 1: thing you enjoy doing.

1634
01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:49,000
Speaker 3: I'll tell you right now, if she was, if she

1635
01:24:49,040 --> 01:24:50,800
Speaker 3: was claiming that she didn't care so much and trying

1636
01:24:50,800 --> 01:24:53,040
Speaker 3: to convince people, that mean she probably does care about something.

1637
01:24:53,120 --> 01:24:54,920
Speaker 3: She definitely doesn't want anybody to know that.

1638
01:24:57,400 --> 01:25:00,519
Speaker 1: Well, listen to God, this is a pleasure talking to you.

1639
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:03,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you too, man to meet together?

1640
01:25:03,640 --> 01:25:03,840
Speaker 8: Yeah?

1641
01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:04,880
Speaker 1: Did you have the rest of the name?

1642
01:25:05,560 --> 01:25:05,880
Speaker 3: YouTube?

1643
01:25:08,640 --> 01:25:11,520
Speaker 7: All from Tim?

1644
01:25:11,760 --> 01:25:12,040
Speaker 6: Tim?

1645
01:25:12,120 --> 01:25:13,439
Speaker 4: Baby? What up?

1646
01:25:15,640 --> 01:25:16,600
Speaker 1: Not much going with you?

1647
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:19,640
Speaker 4: What?

1648
01:25:19,960 --> 01:25:20,520
Speaker 8: Uh?

1649
01:25:21,120 --> 01:25:24,719
Speaker 1: What are you doing right now? Tim?

1650
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:29,960
Speaker 7: I'm reading, uh, reading the chat and listening to your stream.

1651
01:25:30,640 --> 01:25:32,880
Speaker 1: You're reading anything good going on in the chat? I

1652
01:25:32,880 --> 01:25:36,599
Speaker 1: hope you're not reading chat right now? But was anything?

1653
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:38,439
Speaker 1: Was anything interesting happening?

1654
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:41,920
Speaker 7: Not much? People are just being mean to other people.

1655
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:44,639
Speaker 7: That's what goes down, you think.

1656
01:25:44,680 --> 01:25:46,639
Speaker 1: So, you know, here's what I you know, what I'll

1657
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:51,679
Speaker 1: say about that is that I often I've done this before.

1658
01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:54,360
Speaker 1: Actually I've rot Sometimes i go back and I'll rewatch

1659
01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:57,840
Speaker 1: my VODs because I'm curious, you know, I do. You know,

1660
01:25:57,880 --> 01:25:59,400
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't read the chat a whole lot

1661
01:25:59,400 --> 01:26:01,880
Speaker 1: when I'm on the phone, so you know, I'll sometimes

1662
01:26:01,880 --> 01:26:03,960
Speaker 1: I go back and I'll read it in the VODs,

1663
01:26:04,000 --> 01:26:07,400
Speaker 1: but I'll sometimes I've done this before, I'll count I'll

1664
01:26:07,400 --> 01:26:12,759
Speaker 1: watch the chat and I'll count the comments in terms

1665
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:16,560
Speaker 1: of like, uh, okay, that's a good one, that's a

1666
01:26:16,640 --> 01:26:18,920
Speaker 1: nice one, that's a nice one, that's neutral, that's neutral,

1667
01:26:18,960 --> 01:26:21,519
Speaker 1: that's mean, that's neutral, that's nice, that's nice, that's mean,

1668
01:26:21,640 --> 01:26:24,040
Speaker 1: that's mean, And I'll count them, and I'll be like, Okay,

1669
01:26:24,040 --> 01:26:27,120
Speaker 1: what's you know. There's gotta be some sort of I

1670
01:26:27,120 --> 01:26:28,920
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in the process of developing some sort

1671
01:26:28,960 --> 01:26:32,759
Speaker 1: of mathematical equation for this where you could just plug

1672
01:26:32,800 --> 01:26:35,040
Speaker 1: in a VOD and you can get a number, like

1673
01:26:35,080 --> 01:26:37,519
Speaker 1: a score of how nice your chat is. That would

1674
01:26:37,520 --> 01:26:38,559
Speaker 1: be interesting, But.

1675
01:26:42,600 --> 01:26:46,000
Speaker 7: That again, you look a scanner on your your chat

1676
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:46,519
Speaker 7: or something.

1677
01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:48,519
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean, I'll have this and just said, this

1678
01:26:48,520 --> 01:26:50,719
Speaker 1: would be an interesting thing to be invented, some sort

1679
01:26:50,720 --> 01:26:55,360
Speaker 1: of chat scanner that could because the hard part of

1680
01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:56,960
Speaker 1: that is how do you out I mean, I don't

1681
01:26:56,960 --> 01:26:59,240
Speaker 1: I'm not a computer person, but how do you get

1682
01:26:59,240 --> 01:27:02,680
Speaker 1: a computer to judge whether or not a sentence is mean,

1683
01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:08,439
Speaker 1: nice or neutral. But yeah, machine learning something like that,

1684
01:27:08,800 --> 01:27:11,200
Speaker 1: I'll go through in my own because like if someone

1685
01:27:11,280 --> 01:27:16,240
Speaker 1: is like because like let's say someone types in, you know,

1686
01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:19,360
Speaker 1: fuck this guy, you know, uh, you know, that's a

1687
01:27:19,400 --> 01:27:21,439
Speaker 1: bad you know, if the thing reads fuck, and then

1688
01:27:21,479 --> 01:27:22,960
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, that's bad. But if someone's like,

1689
01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:28,080
Speaker 1: this guy is fucking cool, then that's a good one.

1690
01:27:28,080 --> 01:27:30,240
Speaker 1: But it says fuck. Anyway, I'll go through my own

1691
01:27:30,760 --> 01:27:36,439
Speaker 1: sample sizes. I've noticed the chat is majority like eighty

1692
01:27:36,720 --> 01:27:40,439
Speaker 1: percent at least, which I think is pretty good. Eighty

1693
01:27:40,560 --> 01:27:44,960
Speaker 1: percent pretty positive, you know. But the thing is, the

1694
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:46,719
Speaker 1: thing is I mean, this is just the thing in general.

1695
01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:48,320
Speaker 1: This is the thing in general when you're on the

1696
01:27:48,320 --> 01:27:53,640
Speaker 1: internet and in life and the mean stuff it's, unfortunately,

1697
01:27:53,760 --> 01:27:55,559
Speaker 1: just the way that our brains work. It's so much

1698
01:27:55,600 --> 01:28:00,759
Speaker 1: more potent than the nice stuff. You notice it more

1699
01:28:00,920 --> 01:28:02,160
Speaker 1: even if there's less.

1700
01:28:01,880 --> 01:28:07,679
Speaker 7: Of it, right, Yeah, I know, it's like it sticks

1701
01:28:07,680 --> 01:28:10,479
Speaker 7: out because it's negative basically, it's what you're saying.

1702
01:28:11,320 --> 01:28:14,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that always bothers me because then, like you know,

1703
01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:21,200
Speaker 1: if there's a chat going on and you know, nine

1704
01:28:21,280 --> 01:28:24,000
Speaker 1: people are being nice, and one of them is mean.

1705
01:28:24,600 --> 01:28:26,559
Speaker 1: You know, people will be like, oh, the chat's being mean,

1706
01:28:26,640 --> 01:28:29,120
Speaker 1: but it's like, no, nine, it's just the one person.

1707
01:28:29,120 --> 01:28:32,160
Speaker 1: But they are like harnessing the power of the negativity,

1708
01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:37,080
Speaker 1: which is you know, yeah, I get you. I hate

1709
01:28:37,120 --> 01:28:39,839
Speaker 1: when I promised I'm gonna stop ranting in two seconds,

1710
01:28:39,840 --> 01:28:43,280
Speaker 1: but I hate when like I'll go on I've noticed

1711
01:28:43,280 --> 01:28:46,840
Speaker 1: the thing. I'll go on Twitter and they'll be like

1712
01:28:46,880 --> 01:28:50,879
Speaker 1: a celebrity or some Twitter person like having a public

1713
01:28:51,080 --> 01:28:56,040
Speaker 1: argument with I don't know, let's say it's like Chrissy

1714
01:28:56,080 --> 01:28:58,080
Speaker 1: Tiagan or whatever. I'll use her as example, Like if

1715
01:28:58,120 --> 01:29:01,479
Speaker 1: Christy Tagan's having an argument with someone, like clapping back

1716
01:29:01,520 --> 01:29:04,880
Speaker 1: at someone who said something mean about her, and then

1717
01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:07,640
Speaker 1: she types something he said, and I'm like, you know what,

1718
01:29:07,880 --> 01:29:10,160
Speaker 1: You're spending time and I got to take my own

1719
01:29:10,200 --> 01:29:14,080
Speaker 1: advice on this, but I'm like, you're spending time engaging

1720
01:29:14,120 --> 01:29:18,320
Speaker 1: with this person that hates you. Meanwhile, you've got thousands

1721
01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:22,679
Speaker 1: of unread dms that are like, yeah, I love you, You're incredible,

1722
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:25,559
Speaker 1: and you're just you're like, ah, this is what. There's

1723
01:29:25,560 --> 01:29:27,320
Speaker 1: an abundance to that. You see one mean person, you

1724
01:29:27,360 --> 01:29:28,760
Speaker 1: engage with that and I'm like, well, why are you

1725
01:29:28,840 --> 01:29:31,160
Speaker 1: engaging with the one bad person? You got all these

1726
01:29:32,120 --> 01:29:35,519
Speaker 1: but nice people that you just you're leaving on red.

1727
01:29:36,600 --> 01:29:39,160
Speaker 1: You're choosing to elevate the one mean part. I never

1728
01:29:39,240 --> 01:29:41,120
Speaker 1: got that. I never stood that on Twitter anyway.

1729
01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:44,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's no reason to focus on the negativity. I

1730
01:29:44,360 --> 01:29:48,160
Speaker 7: guess you're right, like all the positive thoughts are basically

1731
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:51,320
Speaker 7: kind of what you should be focusing on, and don't

1732
01:29:51,320 --> 01:29:54,479
Speaker 7: be don't be a negative Nancy. I guess right.

1733
01:29:55,280 --> 01:29:58,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like if someone someone types out one of these

1734
01:29:58,560 --> 01:30:01,839
Speaker 1: actors like, oh, your movie sucks, and then in a retweet,

1735
01:30:01,840 --> 01:30:04,479
Speaker 1: and the meanwhile, under that tweet, there's fifty different tweets

1736
01:30:04,479 --> 01:30:06,479
Speaker 1: being like that movie is awesome, and they never they

1737
01:30:06,520 --> 01:30:09,439
Speaker 1: never type back to the people who say your movie's awesome,

1738
01:30:09,479 --> 01:30:11,759
Speaker 1: never goes oh thank you. I appreciate that they always

1739
01:30:11,760 --> 01:30:14,360
Speaker 1: go the type of one guy, your movie sucks, Well

1740
01:30:14,439 --> 01:30:18,880
Speaker 1: you should you know die anyway? How about you soon?

1741
01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:24,719
Speaker 7: My name's not actually Tim, so that's sim SI number one.

1742
01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:27,519
Speaker 1: But lying that's a sin, yeah number one. Have you

1743
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:29,519
Speaker 1: I was at the first one, as were you a

1744
01:30:29,560 --> 01:30:31,000
Speaker 1: clean slate before you called in?

1745
01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:37,040
Speaker 7: Not really a clean slate? I don't think anybody is, But.

1746
01:30:40,280 --> 01:30:40,720
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1747
01:30:41,160 --> 01:30:46,920
Speaker 7: You know, everybody does stuff they don't they don't really

1748
01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:50,479
Speaker 7: want to do. I guess it's like it's hard to

1749
01:30:50,520 --> 01:30:53,120
Speaker 7: think about the thing, like I you know, most people

1750
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:55,799
Speaker 7: don't as long as you live your life and you're happy,

1751
01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:58,080
Speaker 7: I guess I don't know. Like there's a guy that

1752
01:30:58,160 --> 01:31:01,640
Speaker 7: called in earlier that said, you know, he's religious, and

1753
01:31:01,760 --> 01:31:05,080
Speaker 7: you know, I agree as well. I'm I consider myself

1754
01:31:05,080 --> 01:31:08,439
Speaker 7: slightly religious, but I think to a certain point, you know,

1755
01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:12,680
Speaker 7: like I think, you know, as long as if that

1756
01:31:12,720 --> 01:31:15,720
Speaker 7: helps you, that's awesome. Like I love that idea. I

1757
01:31:15,760 --> 01:31:18,479
Speaker 7: love the idea that like, if you can think about

1758
01:31:18,720 --> 01:31:21,599
Speaker 7: something that made somebody else feel bad, and you can

1759
01:31:22,320 --> 01:31:25,040
Speaker 7: you can get that off your chest. Hopefully it's you know,

1760
01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:28,880
Speaker 7: making recompense with somebody else that you've wronged. I think

1761
01:31:28,880 --> 01:31:32,640
Speaker 7: that's the best way to go about life, not to

1762
01:31:32,680 --> 01:31:35,920
Speaker 7: steer around the conversation. But I don't think I've done

1763
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:39,040
Speaker 7: too much wrong recently. I think, you know, maybe you

1764
01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:42,200
Speaker 7: know doing this you speed every once in a while

1765
01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:42,799
Speaker 7: or whatever.

1766
01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:46,360
Speaker 1: Well, listen you first of all, your name isn't Tim.

1767
01:31:46,880 --> 01:31:49,759
Speaker 1: You lied and lying was your sin? Do you lie often?

1768
01:31:51,560 --> 01:31:51,960
Speaker 6: Uh?

1769
01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:52,320
Speaker 4: No?

1770
01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,800
Speaker 7: I don't think so this is.

1771
01:31:54,800 --> 01:31:56,479
Speaker 1: Rare for you to lie. Do you remember any lies

1772
01:31:56,479 --> 01:31:58,280
Speaker 1: that you've told in the past before the one you

1773
01:31:58,360 --> 01:32:02,200
Speaker 1: told this evening, which, by the way, you know, you

1774
01:32:02,320 --> 01:32:05,280
Speaker 1: came clean about the lie pretty quick. I feel like

1775
01:32:05,920 --> 01:32:08,960
Speaker 1: this is only I mean, in terms of lie points,

1776
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:11,760
Speaker 1: you probably get back seventy five percent of your lie.

1777
01:32:11,840 --> 01:32:13,519
Speaker 1: So you've probably came out about twenty five percent of

1778
01:32:13,520 --> 01:32:16,160
Speaker 1: a lie because you came clean about the lie almost immediately.

1779
01:32:16,400 --> 01:32:18,680
Speaker 1: It wasn't a long, calm lie you didn't have. You

1780
01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:21,960
Speaker 1: didn't you didn't really build any compound interest on that lie.

1781
01:32:26,360 --> 01:32:28,200
Speaker 1: So you're a clean slate. You're getting into heaven. How

1782
01:32:28,200 --> 01:32:28,879
Speaker 1: are you excited?

1783
01:32:29,880 --> 01:32:31,800
Speaker 7: Uh No, I don't think that's always true. You gotta

1784
01:32:31,880 --> 01:32:36,200
Speaker 7: there's always things that you gotta you know, was it

1785
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:41,479
Speaker 7: a confessed or whatever before you get to heaven. So

1786
01:32:42,400 --> 01:32:45,960
Speaker 7: I don't know. There's there's always things and things in

1787
01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:47,200
Speaker 7: life you regret doing.

1788
01:32:47,320 --> 01:32:47,519
Speaker 4: You know.

1789
01:32:49,960 --> 01:32:51,960
Speaker 1: See, that's I'm not going to get into heaven because

1790
01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:54,479
Speaker 1: if you're telling me that it takes if to get

1791
01:32:54,479 --> 01:32:57,839
Speaker 1: into heaven, all you have to do is not kill people.

1792
01:32:58,600 --> 01:33:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm getting in, but if you have to take act,

1793
01:33:01,320 --> 01:33:08,400
Speaker 1: hopefully I'm getting in. Yeah, well, if I mean, I

1794
01:33:08,479 --> 01:33:10,840
Speaker 1: drive a car, so every day I could theoretically end

1795
01:33:10,920 --> 01:33:15,559
Speaker 1: up killing someone accidentally. You know, I mean, I text

1796
01:33:15,560 --> 01:33:18,320
Speaker 1: and dry everyone's texting, I'm playing. I play Flappy Bird

1797
01:33:18,360 --> 01:33:22,200
Speaker 1: while I'm driving because I get bored, and no I don't.

1798
01:33:22,240 --> 01:33:26,840
Speaker 1: Actually I play duetal Jump and uh, you know, so

1799
01:33:26,880 --> 01:33:28,920
Speaker 1: I could kill someone, but for now I haven't. So

1800
01:33:28,960 --> 01:33:33,639
Speaker 1: I'm good. But if you have to do anything act,

1801
01:33:33,680 --> 01:33:40,240
Speaker 1: if you have to actively do good things or actively

1802
01:33:40,720 --> 01:33:42,640
Speaker 1: pray to God, I'm not I'm not getting it. I'm

1803
01:33:42,680 --> 01:33:44,760
Speaker 1: I'm I'm too lazy for that, even if it's all

1804
01:33:44,840 --> 01:33:46,559
Speaker 1: even if it's all of eternity and I only have

1805
01:33:46,600 --> 01:33:49,519
Speaker 1: to do it, I'm I'm not kidding in. But I

1806
01:33:49,520 --> 01:33:50,320
Speaker 1: haven't killed anyone.

1807
01:33:50,960 --> 01:33:51,200
Speaker 7: Mh.

1808
01:33:54,800 --> 01:33:59,600
Speaker 1: Well, listen, thank you for I'm not gonna lie I

1809
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:02,360
Speaker 1: did about I talked over you. I talked for the

1810
01:34:02,360 --> 01:34:05,200
Speaker 1: majority of this. How do you feel about that?

1811
01:34:05,439 --> 01:34:07,920
Speaker 7: I'm feeling like I made you feel better, which is

1812
01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:10,519
Speaker 7: you know, always good? I mean, you know, I think

1813
01:34:10,560 --> 01:34:14,240
Speaker 7: I think you did. You did spread wisdom. I think

1814
01:34:14,680 --> 01:34:17,960
Speaker 7: that you know most of what you've said. It sounds

1815
01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:20,200
Speaker 7: like it's it's sinking in for a lot of people.

1816
01:34:20,200 --> 01:34:23,600
Speaker 7: People are listening, So I think I think it's a

1817
01:34:23,600 --> 01:34:26,880
Speaker 7: good conversation. If if the end of the conversation is enlightenment,

1818
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:28,720
Speaker 7: then I think that's I think we did a good

1819
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:29,240
Speaker 7: job here.

1820
01:34:29,760 --> 01:34:31,800
Speaker 1: Do you disagree? Do you want to challenge me on

1821
01:34:31,840 --> 01:34:35,439
Speaker 1: anything I've said? I invited openly because I mean this

1822
01:34:35,479 --> 01:34:37,400
Speaker 1: would be to be terrible if I was allowed to

1823
01:34:37,479 --> 01:34:39,920
Speaker 1: just go on without anyone challenging anything I've said, then

1824
01:34:39,920 --> 01:34:44,200
Speaker 1: I could just say, you know what, terrible things all

1825
01:34:44,240 --> 01:34:44,479
Speaker 1: the time.

1826
01:34:44,560 --> 01:34:47,640
Speaker 7: No, I mean, I don't know how I challenge what

1827
01:34:47,680 --> 01:34:50,240
Speaker 7: you said. I mean, most of the stuff is pretty logical.

1828
01:34:50,280 --> 01:34:52,880
Speaker 7: I think, like, you know, don't murder people. I mean,

1829
01:34:53,240 --> 01:34:55,120
Speaker 7: like going to challenge you on that kind of stuff?

1830
01:34:55,160 --> 01:34:58,920
Speaker 7: You know, I mean like make me a bad person?

1831
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:01,439
Speaker 7: You know, so I would, I would think.

1832
01:35:01,320 --> 01:35:04,599
Speaker 1: So, well, listen, you know, only get can judge.

1833
01:35:05,040 --> 01:35:05,519
Speaker 4: There you go.

1834
01:35:06,120 --> 01:35:09,439
Speaker 7: I want to give a shout out my buddies. My

1835
01:35:09,479 --> 01:35:13,240
Speaker 7: buddy's in the chat room, Quindo Ley fer Noort in

1836
01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:18,160
Speaker 7: my Steady Snacks. You know those guys. Those guys keep

1837
01:35:18,200 --> 01:35:18,639
Speaker 7: me sane.

1838
01:35:20,160 --> 01:35:22,200
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that you're feeling sane, Tim, and

1839
01:35:22,400 --> 01:35:25,960
Speaker 1: I appreciate you calling in Thanks my guy, you have

1840
01:35:25,960 --> 01:35:26,880
Speaker 1: a wonder for us of the night.

1841
01:35:27,240 --> 01:35:28,160
Speaker 7: You too, Dick.

1842
01:35:30,720 --> 01:35:34,559
Speaker 2: Never goes on the line, taking your phone calls every

1843
01:35:34,680 --> 01:35:34,840
Speaker 2: night

1844
01:35:35,240 --> 01:35:38,240
Speaker 1: Never goes to his I was teaching you abou