Speaker 1: And here's the craziest thing we could possibly say to you.
Speaker 1: You have to forgive him. That's what I was just
Speaker 1: about to say. You have to forgive him. And I've
Speaker 1: said this before and I'll say it again because it's
Speaker 1: worth repeating. But sometimes with something like forgiveness of something
Speaker 1: that of this magnitude, we have to say it and
Speaker 1: preach it to ourselves before our heart absorbs it. What's up, guys,
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast Exciting News. Today, we have
Speaker 1: Bernie back guest. I haven't had a guest in a
Speaker 1: long time. It's been just me, but we got long
Speaker 1: time as Bernie Calcote back. We've been friends for twenty
Speaker 1: five years. He's been on this podcast eighty five thousand
Speaker 1: times and he has really built He's built so much
Speaker 1: of what this podcast has become. In the early days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you started it in the early days on the bus, Yeah,
Speaker 1: in the in the in the Reformation. So basically we
Speaker 1: answer your questions if you're new to the podcast, we
Speaker 1: answer your questions. Like we're sitting on you know, in
Speaker 1: the pickup truck and it's me and Bernie and you're
Speaker 1: in the back seat and you go, hey, guys, could
Speaker 1: I run something by something been going on in my life?
Speaker 1: And then we walk through it in long form and
Speaker 1: we answer your question without notes and without preparation. We
Speaker 1: just give you friend advice. And Bernie is one of
Speaker 1: the best friend advisors that I have, and we do this.
Speaker 1: We still do it. We've talked about it many times
Speaker 1: on this podcast, and we still do it to this day.
Speaker 1: When we have something going on in our lives, one
Speaker 1: of us will call each other and be like, hey man,
Speaker 1: can you talk And when we say that, we have
Speaker 1: to kind of schedule it because we're going to talk
Speaker 1: for an hour. So it's never like what's up, man,
Speaker 1: how's it going, It's going good? How about you going good?
Speaker 1: Kay bye? It's like, hey man, maybe later on we
Speaker 1: actually get on the phone because we're going to talk
Speaker 1: for an hour. Oh and it's so good though, man,
Speaker 1: those deep, deep friendships and everything that comes with them, Man,
Speaker 1: it's such a blessing. So I agree. Well, we're gonna
Speaker 1: answer your questions. If you have one, email Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We'll get right to it, and
Speaker 1: not just if you have a question, because wouldn't it
Speaker 1: be awesome Griz to one time open your email and
Speaker 1: start reading and somebody is like, not, hey, they broke
Speaker 1: up with me or they died, But man, I listened
Speaker 1: to you guys, and then this wonderful thing inspired me.
Speaker 1: And what you know, I just wanted you to encourage
Speaker 1: you guys. You'd be like, yes, that's good. Yeah, give
Speaker 1: us some you longtime listeners. Give us some stories on
Speaker 1: maybe something that's changed in your life because of a
Speaker 1: podcast episode. That would be really cool. Yeah. Encouragement is great,
Speaker 1: you know. We sometimes you need it whenever you're getting
Speaker 1: into some of these really dark places with people which
Speaker 1: you are really good at, like sitting with them, holding
Speaker 1: the space to like really dig into it. But I
Speaker 1: think it's good every once in a while to hear like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, man, this is this is impacting people in
Speaker 1: a really special way. So I hear back. Occasionally, I
Speaker 1: hear back from people that I answer a question for
Speaker 1: and they'll say, hey, I applied this and here's what happened.
Speaker 1: But I would also like to hear from people that
Speaker 1: have never emailed but used something from someone else's question
Speaker 1: and listen apply to their life. It's interesting. Hey, maybe
Speaker 1: even I'm not talking about just positive, maybe something negative like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I tried it and it would failed miserably. That would help.
Speaker 1: That would help. Let's get right to the first question.
Speaker 1: The subject line says broken heart by ex husband from
Speaker 1: nasty divorce. Please help me. I am lost, so broken.
Speaker 1: I divorced my first husband that I was married to
Speaker 1: for seventeen years in nineteen ninety nine. We had three daughters.
Speaker 1: He treated me like a maid, not a wife. I
Speaker 1: had no he was just not a nice person. I
Speaker 1: lost who I was. I just found out six months
Speaker 1: ago that he told my mom that our youngest daughter,
Speaker 1: who is thirty five, is not his, that I had
Speaker 1: an affair with our neighbor, which is a complete lie.
Speaker 1: I never cheated on him. He also told several of
Speaker 1: our friends this same story, and my mother knew that
Speaker 1: was a lie, but she didn't not defend me. He
Speaker 1: told this back in two thousand and seven. I can't
Speaker 1: let it go because he constantly lies about me and
Speaker 1: posts things about me on Facebook. I felt like I
Speaker 1: should confront him. I could no longer take it. He
Speaker 1: is remarried in two thousand and three, and I was
Speaker 1: remarried in two thousand and eight, but unfortunately, he took
Speaker 1: his life in twenty sixteen due to PTSD from the army,
Speaker 1: which I also suffer from. Please help me. I'm on
Speaker 1: my own, Melissa. A lot of stuff here, Wow, a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff. So we're no longer like starting off
Speaker 1: with the light ones in order. I've been gone for
Speaker 1: a while. We're just like it. I don't prep these,
Speaker 1: I don't read ahead on what I'm about to say,
Speaker 1: so it's just going to fall out. So Melissa, thank
Speaker 1: you for emailing you. You do have a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff going on, and I'm so sorry. What I want
Speaker 1: to deal with too, is your first question. Your very
Speaker 1: first question said please help me. I'm so lost and
Speaker 1: so broken, and then your last sentence says, please help me.
Speaker 1: I'm on my own. So Bernie and I are going
Speaker 1: to tell you right now, you're not alone here. Me
Speaker 1: and me and Bernie are listening to you. We're going
Speaker 1: to talk through this. But there's also a lot of people,
Speaker 1: a lot of people that are going through something maybe
Speaker 1: not exactly the same, but they're going through similar things.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of nasty divorces, there's a lot of lies,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people who have lost a loved
Speaker 1: one through suicide, and so you are not alone in
Speaker 1: your situation. And that's part of what this podcast does
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. I think I think ninety
Speaker 1: nine point nine percent of people don't email me. They
Speaker 1: just listen, and they listen so that they could acknowledge
Speaker 1: that they're not alone in their problems. Because we have
Speaker 1: a tendency as humans to think I'm just this. No
Speaker 1: one else has it as bad as I do. No
Speaker 1: one else is in this dark hole that I'm in,
Speaker 1: And that's just not true. And also, didn't she say
Speaker 1: she remarried, Yes, she remarried, but he took his life.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, her current Yeah, her second husband, second husband, Okay,
Speaker 1: I thought she was referring to the first one. Okay,
Speaker 1: so the first one is still out there telling lies
Speaker 1: that their daughter is what came from an affair, right, Okay, Man, Melissa,
Speaker 1: this is really heavy. Let's start with this. Let's start
Speaker 1: with this. I can't let it go because he instantly
Speaker 1: lies about me and post things about me on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Let's start with Facebook. Me and you love that subject, Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, block him. Let's go ahead and do that.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna it's not gonna fix everything, but it's
Speaker 1: gonna fix you seeing it, so it's not going to
Speaker 1: stop him from lying, which you can't and no one can't.
Speaker 1: We can't control other people. We can only control ourselves
Speaker 1: and how we react to them. So we're gonna block
Speaker 1: him on Facebook first so you're not seeing it. And
Speaker 1: then when other people come up and say, did you
Speaker 1: see what your ex posted about you? You go you
Speaker 1: just look him straight in the eye and say, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I blocked him. I don't. I don't follow what he
Speaker 1: says because it's usually a lie done. Yeah. The other
Speaker 1: thing that you could do, probably in your mental state.
Speaker 1: And I say this with like all humility, and I'm
Speaker 1: not condemning you know, anybody for your choices or whatnot,
Speaker 1: but you could get off of social media altogether because
Speaker 1: then when that person says, did you read what he
Speaker 1: said about you? You could be like, actually, I didn't,
Speaker 1: and I don't really care to know. I'm not on
Speaker 1: social media. Because it sounds like Melissa, you need to
Speaker 1: be focused on some healing and connecting with people that
Speaker 1: are with you in real life and not kind of
Speaker 1: going into that whole of you know, fantasy and not
Speaker 1: reality of things that everybody's doing. They're painting like you said,
Speaker 1: they use car salesman like, they're all painting these pictures
Speaker 1: of the best versions of themselves. And it's probably weighing
Speaker 1: on you emotionally, even whether you know it or not.
Speaker 1: In light of your ex posting this stuff, I mean,
Speaker 1: and it sounds like you're struggling with PTSD. You've got
Speaker 1: a lot of emotional work. It sounds like that you
Speaker 1: need to do. I would probably do an inventory. It's
Speaker 1: not just social media, do an inventory of your life.
Speaker 1: Because the way to our heart, it's just through our minds,
Speaker 1: and the way to our minds is through our eyes
Speaker 1: and our ears. So what are you watching, what are
Speaker 1: you looking at, what are you listening to? And how
Speaker 1: are those things getting into your brain seeping down into
Speaker 1: your heart. We need to maybe clear out some of
Speaker 1: the stuff that's not healthy and just really try to
Speaker 1: like zone in on some things that are. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: Here's another crazy twist for you, Melissa. I believe you
Speaker 1: because I don't. I don't think you would you would
Speaker 1: have a reason to email me and lie about this
Speaker 1: supposed affair. But let's just throw this out there. What
Speaker 1: if you did, like, what if what if it was
Speaker 1: an affair that you had your son with. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about the relationship with your son, but I'm
Speaker 1: talking about the relationship with everyone else that was thirty
Speaker 1: five years ago. Anyway, no one is the same as
Speaker 1: they were at thirty five years ago. So you're looking
Speaker 1: at it like that's you today right now, like a
Speaker 1: mistake that you made today is affecting you. But it's
Speaker 1: thirty five years ago and it's a lie. But you're
Speaker 1: living it like it's happening in your face today in
Speaker 1: this moment, and it really shouldn't affect you at all,
Speaker 1: something that happened that long ago. Anyone that knows your
Speaker 1: ex husband knows that he's a deceiver. They know what
Speaker 1: kind of guy is. They know that you were treated
Speaker 1: like a maid and not like a wife, that you
Speaker 1: had no voice. You got to let that go. And
Speaker 1: here's the craziest thing we could possibly say to you.
Speaker 1: You have to forgive him. That's what I was just
Speaker 1: about to say. You have to forgive him. And I've
Speaker 1: said this before and I'll say it again because it's
Speaker 1: worth repeating. But sometimes with something like forgiveness of something
Speaker 1: of this magnitude, we have to say it and preach
Speaker 1: it to ourselves before our heart absorbs it. So we
Speaker 1: say it with our mouth and we just say, you
Speaker 1: know what. And you could even tell the next person
Speaker 1: that comes up to you and says, did you hear
Speaker 1: about the lie that you're ex? Husband said, you could
Speaker 1: look them right in the face. And just like Bernie said,
Speaker 1: I love his answer. First of all, a first part
Speaker 1: of the answer is no, I didn't, and I don't
Speaker 1: really care to know. And the second part of your
Speaker 1: answer is, but I forgive them, Like wow, what an
Speaker 1: impact that would make on the person that's spreading gossip
Speaker 1: and stirring you up. And you go, but I forgive him.
Speaker 1: He's human and we went through a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: together and he's not totally to blame with everything. I
Speaker 1: wasn't the perfect person either, but I have over the
Speaker 1: years I have forgiven him. Now, your heart might be
Speaker 1: screaming in that moment, no I don't, No, I don't, No,
Speaker 1: I don't, But your mouth is saying it, and you
Speaker 1: keep preaching it back to your heart over and over. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's good to separate forgiveness and reconciliation and healing,
Speaker 1: so that, like Grangeer is saying, saying that out loud
Speaker 1: and really preaching that to yourself and forgiving him and
Speaker 1: maybe forgiving him again, just embodying that idea of forgiveness,
Speaker 1: like I am really forgiving him as I've been forgiven.
Speaker 1: So let's not forget that part and let that weigh
Speaker 1: on your mind even heavier than what he's doing is. Like, Man,
Speaker 1: I have been forgiven, so the only natural thing for
Speaker 1: me to do is extend that same forgiveness. But that
Speaker 1: doesn't remove the hurt and the pain and damage of
Speaker 1: everything that he's done immediately. It doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1: Like healing of the heart and reconciliation or healing or
Speaker 1: anything like that definitely takes time. And that's why I
Speaker 1: would say, if you're not already seeing a counselor of
Speaker 1: some kind or a therapist or I highly recommend it
Speaker 1: to everybody who's listening, because we all need that counsel.
Speaker 1: We all need somebody appointing us in encouraging us and
Speaker 1: guiding us. But for you, Melissa, I would definitely say,
Speaker 1: if we're talking just practical things, I'm lost. You need
Speaker 1: a guide. The Word of God can definitely be your guide,
Speaker 1: and it's going to point you to forgiveness and then
Speaker 1: also couple that with somebody of sound mind and wise
Speaker 1: counsel to just help you kind of process some of
Speaker 1: the hurt that has happened over the years. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love what he said about separating forgiveness with reconciliation,
Speaker 1: and a way to look at that just at a
Speaker 1: surface level would be the way that you would forgive
Speaker 1: a rattlesnake. It's like, I, dude, I got bit by
Speaker 1: a rattlesnake. But I forgive the snake because that's the
Speaker 1: snake's nature is to bite when it's when it feels threatened,
Speaker 1: and it bit me as a reaction of the threat
Speaker 1: that it thought I was. So I forgive the snake
Speaker 1: for its nature of what it is. But I'm not
Speaker 1: going to go stick in my hand in holes anymore. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch myself when I'm around rocks in Texas
Speaker 1: because there's rattlesnakes and they will bite. So you're not
Speaker 1: going to take your ex husband out to dinner and say, hey,
Speaker 1: meals on me. You know, you're not going to stick
Speaker 1: your hand in holes. But you could still forgive him
Speaker 1: for his nature and for what he is, and love
Speaker 1: him for what he is, because you were broken just
Speaker 1: like him in your own way and we all are.
Speaker 1: So forgive him and love him and get off social media. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and don't perpetuate the gossip that's coming to you when
Speaker 1: people want to stir you up, because they know that
Speaker 1: you're the kind of person that can get stirred up.
Speaker 1: And they said, do you hear about your ex? You
Speaker 1: hear what he's saying about your boy from thirty five
Speaker 1: years ago? Don't extend that conversation at all, kill it
Speaker 1: right then, say no, I didn't. In fact, anything he
Speaker 1: says wouldn't surprise me at this point, but I have
Speaker 1: forgiven him. There's nothing else to say. Yeah, the person's like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about something else else. Yeah. Yeah, And your
Speaker 1: kindness is going to go a long long way for sure.
Speaker 1: So all right, let's move on. Let's hit another one.
Speaker 1: This subject line is letting go of the past. At
Speaker 1: Grand Drum twenty far'd like to remain anonymous. My boyfriend
Speaker 1: and I have been dating for about two and a
Speaker 1: half years, with a six month break in the middle.
Speaker 1: We got back together and after we both grew on
Speaker 1: our own and he came back after we realized we
Speaker 1: couldn't stand being a part and loved each other too
Speaker 1: much to be with anyone else. We tried dating other
Speaker 1: people with while we were apart, and it's something that
Speaker 1: we have worked on together to move forward. However, I
Speaker 1: still find it really hard sometimes when stuff gets brought up,
Speaker 1: like around friends about girls that he slept with, and
Speaker 1: it's always a joke, but recently it came out that
Speaker 1: while we were on break, there were two other girls
Speaker 1: he slept with that he forgot to mention or to
Speaker 1: tell me about when we got back together. He is
Speaker 1: a he hey he had this is funny. He has
Speaker 1: a large body count. Okay, I think I know what
Speaker 1: you're saying. He has a large body count where I
Speaker 1: have chosen to wait till marriage and he has always
Speaker 1: respected that. So I guess my question is how do
Speaker 1: I let these things that were in the past go,
Speaker 1: even though it still really hurts my heart every time
Speaker 1: I hear about things like this. Thank you Anonymous twenty
Speaker 1: four dated for two and a half years, six month break,
Speaker 1: got back together. He slept with girls in the break.
Speaker 1: You realize that you were meant for each other, so
Speaker 1: you got back together. You are waiting till marriage. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a lot to unpack here. But if you're with
Speaker 1: me in the truck right now, I would say, why
Speaker 1: did you get back with Why did you get back
Speaker 1: with him? Like? What is he bringing to you? You
Speaker 1: guys have very different morals. They're going two different directions,
Speaker 1: and so it's really hard to recognized the reconcile these
Speaker 1: two very different moral standards and bring them back together
Speaker 1: and then expect things to be normal. And that's why
Speaker 1: they're not. We say about this brand, Yeah, I'm this
Speaker 1: one brings up a lot of questions that I would
Speaker 1: have for anonymous, like how did you find out? What
Speaker 1: was that conversation? Like was it I think on the
Speaker 1: last podcast you talked about the guy that went to
Speaker 1: the church conference and felt this conviction and went to
Speaker 1: his wife to confess these things, and she emailed me back.
Speaker 1: By the way she did, she said that this was
Speaker 1: really hard love, but I needed it. You dish out
Speaker 1: some hard love sometimes, Am I right? Guys? But it's
Speaker 1: all good man? Yeah? Just what I mean? How did
Speaker 1: they get back together? What did he say? Was it
Speaker 1: like he got busted? Or is there any kind of
Speaker 1: spiritual conviction here? Is there any like, you know, commitment
Speaker 1: to their faith together in this relationship, without really knowing
Speaker 1: those things just at face value. I'm like, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: face value, this was a rebound. Yeah, you rebounded to him.
Speaker 1: You're saying, six months break, you got back together because
Speaker 1: we realized we couldn't stand being a part and loved
Speaker 1: each other too much. Okay, well that's it. That's not
Speaker 1: enough time. Six months is not enough time for you
Speaker 1: to go. Yeah, I'm cool, I'm good, I'm over it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah I would, I would say, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I would invest any further in their relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm saying the same thing. Yeah, And again,
Speaker 1: like we don't know one hundred percent of the context.
Speaker 1: You could email us back and be like, no, well
Speaker 1: here's you know whatever. But it just sounds like he's
Speaker 1: he's got some things probably to work out. And I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: you sound sometimes on TikTok people say this guy only
Speaker 1: tells people just to break up. But the slightest thing.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, So now I'm hesitant because of TikTok. I'm
Speaker 1: hesitant to say dump him. Yeah, but that's kind of
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Anonymous, like you're friends, I would just
Speaker 1: say dump him. And I know it's hard. It's called heartbreak,
Speaker 1: and of course it's hard. You got six months, you
Speaker 1: tried to recover. It wasn't enough. You loved him. Two
Speaker 1: and a half years is a long time, and it's
Speaker 1: also a long time to save yourself for marriage with
Speaker 1: a guy that hasn't saved hisself for marriage. So you're
Speaker 1: expecting a lot from this guy. Well, and if she
Speaker 1: she's twenty four and she's been saving herself for marriage,
Speaker 1: So it sounds like there's some kind of like conviction
Speaker 1: in her heart somewhere to that, yeah, right, which which
Speaker 1: makes me believe like, okay, maybe she is a Christian.
Speaker 1: Maybe she believes in, you know, having sex with your
Speaker 1: white or with your husband or wife. And it doesn't
Speaker 1: sound like this guy has the same you know, like whatever,
Speaker 1: do what you want, but it doesn't sound like he
Speaker 1: has the same values. And Matt brings up more problems
Speaker 1: down the road, more problems down the road. And I
Speaker 1: know you may be thinking, man, I'm twenty four. A
Speaker 1: lot of people are starting to talk about getting engaged,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to get old. And yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: you're still young. Yeah, you're still young, and you need
Speaker 1: to be treated and respected and valued and pursued and
Speaker 1: adored for the person that you are and love the
Speaker 1: way that Jesus loves you, not the way that this
Speaker 1: dude's doing. So yeah, I say dumping. Let's take a break,
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Speaker 1: slash granger. Okay, back to the podcast. Let's get let's
Speaker 1: hit the next question here. Subject line says, why do
Speaker 1: I feel hungry thirsty for more? Hey Granger, Tim again,
Speaker 1: thanks for you. I guess I guess you emailed before.
Speaker 1: Thanks brother, this he said this time has an internal
Speaker 1: search question. I grew up in the church, confession of faith,
Speaker 1: baptized the whole bit, I joined the army and even
Speaker 1: had a Christian music show while I was overseas for
Speaker 1: almost a year. I know who I am in Christ
Speaker 1: and have never stopped believing. While I know church attendants
Speaker 1: is not required for salvation, I also know that keeping
Speaker 1: the company of believers helps sharpen your faith. With that said,
Speaker 1: over the last few years, attendance has been fewer and
Speaker 1: fewer in my faith, while not fleeting has been challenged.
Speaker 1: And now you have entered my life versus an entertainer.
Speaker 1: Now as a brother, I am binge listening to the
Speaker 1: podcast like my soul cannot get enough, even though I've
Speaker 1: heard some of it before. I'm just trying to understand
Speaker 1: why now, why am I so craving his message? If
Speaker 1: it's a God thing and his timing, I could accept
Speaker 1: and roll with it. Thanks and God blessed Tim. So
Speaker 1: this is this kind of goes to your first thing
Speaker 1: you said in the first break about let's get a
Speaker 1: let's get someone that says what the podcast has done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Tim, awesome, Tim bro. What you're feeling is absolutely
Speaker 1: normal and absolutely a necessity in your walk right now.
Speaker 1: And this is an interesting thing that Bernie I can
Speaker 1: talk about. We talk about it a lot together off camera.
Speaker 1: We could talk about what's happening to you, and it's
Speaker 1: called a rebirth. And this is the danger that I
Speaker 1: should bring up. This is the danger of American Christianity
Speaker 1: growing up in church, confession of faith, baptized, the whole bit,
Speaker 1: those are your words, and there's a false sense of
Speaker 1: security of salvation in that. So tons of people, tons
Speaker 1: of people grew up in church in America. They gave
Speaker 1: the confession of faith in church, whether it was in
Speaker 1: confirmation class or with a pastor, or at an altar call,
Speaker 1: or with an elder or in a small group. They
Speaker 1: were baptized, and that could have all happened in the
Speaker 1: baptism as well. And then you walk away and you
Speaker 1: think I'm good. I have a false sense of security,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I accept Jesus. I call this dog tag
Speaker 1: Christianity because in World War Two, when when they made
Speaker 1: the dog tags, they would ask for your religion, so
Speaker 1: that if you died, they would they knew what kind
Speaker 1: of priest to bring to your funeral. And so it
Speaker 1: said Christian on your dog tag, and so much of us,
Speaker 1: so many of us walk around with dog tags that
Speaker 1: say Christian. But we don't really live anything more than that.
Speaker 1: We don't have a craving at all. And when you
Speaker 1: are saved, truly, when you're reborn, which is all God.
Speaker 1: Salvation is all a force from God, not us. We
Speaker 1: can respond to it, and that is the mystery of
Speaker 1: salvation includes us responding to the Gospel. It's responding to
Speaker 1: the call, responding to the choosing, but the active force
Speaker 1: that begins this is always God. One of the first
Speaker 1: things we could see as a result of this sow
Speaker 1: the true salvation that you're talking about, Tim. One of
Speaker 1: the first things we see is a craving, a thirst,
Speaker 1: a hunger for more. We also see a high conviction
Speaker 1: of sin. So's it's a false representation of Christianity to
Speaker 1: think that we go on sinless. Jesus says, go sin
Speaker 1: no more. But we take that to the extreme and
Speaker 1: think sometimes that Christians don't sin, but we do. But
Speaker 1: the difference is the ones that are saved have a
Speaker 1: higher conviction of it. It's like we hate it, we
Speaker 1: do it, we regret it, we want to repent for it,
Speaker 1: we want to apologize for it, we want to move on,
Speaker 1: we don't want to go back to it. And that
Speaker 1: goes right along. And I guarantee you didn't say it, Tim,
Speaker 1: but I guarantee you you're also feeling that. That's an
Speaker 1: other thing you're feeling right now. And so this craving
Speaker 1: that you're having, this hunger, this thirst, this when you're
Speaker 1: away from the body of church of the church and
Speaker 1: you want to go back to church and you just
Speaker 1: crave it. You it's like Sunday and you're like, I
Speaker 1: don't care what I got going on, I don't care
Speaker 1: what NFL team is playing. I gotta go to church.
Speaker 1: I got to be around other believers. Like you said
Speaker 1: in your email, I need to read the Word, like
Speaker 1: I just I got to open this Bible and see
Speaker 1: what he says, Like what is God saying to me today?
Speaker 1: So I open it up and I'm like, God, this
Speaker 1: is the Word of God, and I can't stop until
Speaker 1: I see where he finishes all. This is a really
Speaker 1: great sign and it's totally natural. So I would say, welcome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that you've you're growing up sounds very similar
Speaker 1: to mine. And I'm guessing that you have probably heard
Speaker 1: a lot of narrative about kind of this dog tag
Speaker 1: Christianity or what a Christian is. But then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden that paradigm's kind of being flipped around, right,
Speaker 1: You're starting to hear some things that are like wait
Speaker 1: a second, yeah, and then the spirit's kind of opening
Speaker 1: your heart to understand, open your eyes to understand, like
Speaker 1: oh okay, there's that those moments where you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my goodness. And so I would just encourage you to
Speaker 1: keep digging in. Man, it just gets better and better.
Speaker 1: It gets harder and harder and more like it'll stretch you.
Speaker 1: I mean, being a disciple of Jesus is one of
Speaker 1: the hardest things that you can think of. Being a
Speaker 1: dog tag Christian's pretty easy, pretty easy, pretty easy. But
Speaker 1: giving your life away, like putting yourself behind others, giving
Speaker 1: away your wealth, being generous, being humble, restraint from your
Speaker 1: you know, worldly desires like those yeah it's to die
Speaker 1: is gain? Uh, These things are very very difficult. So
Speaker 1: I would just encourage you to keep keep pushing in
Speaker 1: to all the things, whether it's this podcast, your time,
Speaker 1: and the word. You're gonna definitely need some brothers and
Speaker 1: some sisters that you can lock arms with, be encouraged by,
Speaker 1: and that you can then pour into when they need it,
Speaker 1: because we're all human and we need that encouragement. But
Speaker 1: I think you've probably heard something in Granger's voice, and
Speaker 1: I don't. I love you know, Grizzy's been my friend
Speaker 1: for a long time, but I don't think it's him.
Speaker 1: I think it's the Holy Spirit that did a work
Speaker 1: in him, and now that's starting to come out and
Speaker 1: people are starting to hear it and be like, man,
Speaker 1: what is that. That's a different word than I've heard before,
Speaker 1: and I gotta go. I got to go read more
Speaker 1: about that. I got to figure out what that is.
Speaker 1: And then you're like, oh, I got more of it.
Speaker 1: I got more of it. I need more of it.
Speaker 1: So it's not him, it's not this podcast, but it's
Speaker 1: the words that are coming out of it that I think,
Speaker 1: and those words are available every morning to you. So
Speaker 1: if for all the other tim to you, i'd say
Speaker 1: welcome for everyone else that's listening. And if you say
Speaker 1: that you're a Christian, but you're thinking to yourself, I
Speaker 1: don't thirst at all. I don't hunger at all, I
Speaker 1: would say gently and lovingly, that's a red flag. I
Speaker 1: would say why why are you not? And I would
Speaker 1: want to dig into that. Okay. I posted this yesterday
Speaker 1: on Twitter and it's a revelation twenty one six. It
Speaker 1: says it is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega,
Speaker 1: the beginning and the end to the thirsty. I will
Speaker 1: give from the spring of the water of life without payment.
Speaker 1: And so I would say, are you thirsty? Why are
Speaker 1: you not thirsty? Because that's the only requirement we have
Speaker 1: in this passage here is to be thirsty. So why
Speaker 1: are you not? Yeah, and if you're not, like you
Speaker 1: need to just desperately pray because God will hear and
Speaker 1: he will respond if we go to him in desperation,
Speaker 1: and maybe you're just in a season where you're not
Speaker 1: feeling that. I think that's what he wants, is us
Speaker 1: to just go to him in prayer and just God,
Speaker 1: I don't feel you. I don't feel this desire, but
Speaker 1: I want it. Where is it? Can you respond? Can
Speaker 1: you respond? And God is always, it seems like in scripture,
Speaker 1: very slow to respond to what we think. It's like
Speaker 1: so long, but then all at once, And so just
Speaker 1: be faithful and diligent in that. Absolutely, let's move on here.
Speaker 1: Next question says, are we gonna be able to do
Speaker 1: this with the clock tickets? Yeah? You want me to
Speaker 1: give some weird problems going on in the room right now, dude,
Speaker 1: I'll just take it. Hey, well, no, let's try something new. Okay.
Speaker 1: You were going to read the question for the first time, Okay,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna get rid of this clock that's tiken.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, Okay, addiction getting in the way of my
Speaker 1: relationship with God. Hey Granger, my name is Josh and
Speaker 1: I am eighteen. I have a porn addiction. I have
Speaker 1: tried to quit in the past, but I fall short.
Speaker 1: Every time I tried to quit. This has been eating
Speaker 1: at me and makes me feel horrible. I've tried praying
Speaker 1: about it and asking God to help me, but nothing
Speaker 1: seems to work, and I always go back. What can
Speaker 1: I do to quit my addiction and grow my relationship
Speaker 1: with God? I love this question because I actually have,
Speaker 1: unlike some other questions, I actually have a some systematic
Speaker 1: things you could do right now. So, first of all, Josh, bro,
Speaker 1: you're not alone, right, not alone? There are so many people,
Speaker 1: most of them that don't admit it, that are dealing
Speaker 1: with this. Okay, So so bro, you I'm so I'm
Speaker 1: so happy, I'm so pleased that you had the courage
Speaker 1: to email me about this. And I just want to
Speaker 1: stand with you for a moment in that and just
Speaker 1: say you have a lot of courage to admit this
Speaker 1: and to bring it into light and to stop. You
Speaker 1: don't want to walk in the dark anymore. You want
Speaker 1: to walk in the light, and you're bringing this to
Speaker 1: the light. And luckily I have some I have some
Speaker 1: pretty good systematic things I have for you. And at eighteen,
Speaker 1: let me just say, yeah, like at eighteen, to be
Speaker 1: able to recognize the damage that this can cause in
Speaker 1: your future and to be vulnerable enough to put it
Speaker 1: out there now and say, like, I know, this isn't
Speaker 1: the life God has for me, and I want something better. Todd,
Speaker 1: That's awesome, Josh, good jobs. Absolutely so, Josh, what I'm
Speaker 1: about to tell you is very difficult to do. It's
Speaker 1: easy for me to tell you it's very difficult to do.
Speaker 1: But because of your email, it sounds like you're in
Speaker 1: a desperate situation where you're willing to do something difficult. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I would I would wonder how desperate are you?
Speaker 1: Because this is tough. But there is a website called
Speaker 1: covenantiyes dot com and Pastor Chad told me about this,
Speaker 1: and Pastor Chad has used this with a lot of
Speaker 1: different counseling sessions that he's done. So Covenant Eyes and
Speaker 1: we talked about this at t forg ME and you
Speaker 1: Chad at dinner. Covenant Eyes is a website where you
Speaker 1: you inter I'm so sorry, I can still here that
Speaker 1: clock that I'll put outside, Okay, so you you enter
Speaker 1: your information from your computer and your phone and your
Speaker 1: iPad and it it recognizes your ip address and then
Speaker 1: it shares it monitor where you go and what you search.
Speaker 1: This is a problem I get. I get a friend
Speaker 1: of mine on the podcast and he starts laughing at me.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Josh. The clock that usually sits here that
Speaker 1: tells the time. There's the clock I have on the
Speaker 1: table that I use for this podcast that monitors how
Speaker 1: long I go. It counts up. It's a counter. And
Speaker 1: it started first it started flashing, so while we were talking,
Speaker 1: it was flashing at us. And so during the break
Speaker 1: I took it outside and like plugged it into the
Speaker 1: charge in a reset and I was like, cool, I'm good.
Speaker 1: Now it started flashing again. Then it started clicking. Now
Speaker 1: it's actually chiming, and I go to hear it in
Speaker 1: the other room, chiming, all right, we're gonna get it back, Josh.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. This is a very serious subject. Attacked
Speaker 1: by the enemy. Right now. You know that this is
Speaker 1: an attack by the enemy because it doesn't want me
Speaker 1: to tell Josh this truth Reset Reset Covenant, eyes dot
Speaker 1: com or org one of the two google it Coven
Speaker 1: and Eyes. It takes your information and it will monitor
Speaker 1: your online searching so that whenever you go to a
Speaker 1: porn site, it will send that IP that activity to
Speaker 1: whoever you tell it to send to. So it could
Speaker 1: be your mother. I would suggest putting it as your mom, yes,
Speaker 1: or your dad or both, so your mom will get
Speaker 1: an email that says, Josh visited this website at this
Speaker 1: time and there's nothing you could do to stop it
Speaker 1: once you sign up. So that's what I say. Okay,
Speaker 1: So that's when I say this is very difficult because
Speaker 1: you're going to have to be so strong because when
Speaker 1: you do it, you don't want to go through that
Speaker 1: embarrassment of Mom seeing what you just looked at. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but if you're talking about habit correction, like you have
Speaker 1: to have like extreme consequences or some kind of repercussions
Speaker 1: or else your habits are just going to go back
Speaker 1: if it's like, oh, you know, it's sent an email
Speaker 1: to my buddy who also struggles with the same thing,
Speaker 1: so we don't even pay attention to it anymore. No,
Speaker 1: there has to be some rewiring of your brain a
Speaker 1: little bit, and this can definitely help. So, Bro, Hey, Josh,
Speaker 1: do me a favor if you have courage, and I
Speaker 1: think you do because you email me. If you have
Speaker 1: enough courage to sign up for Covenant Eyes, message me
Speaker 1: back and just say, hey, man, I did it. I'm
Speaker 1: signed up because I just want to know that you
Speaker 1: did it. So I'm going to be over this next
Speaker 1: week after the podcast comes out. I'm going to be
Speaker 1: waiting for your email, Joshua Reese. Okay, I want to
Speaker 1: hear back from you, bro, because I got your back
Speaker 1: and I think it's so important and I love you, man,
Speaker 1: and I'm so I'm so pleased that you have the
Speaker 1: courage to email me. Okay, let's do this together and
Speaker 1: you and not just Josh, but any dude out there,
Speaker 1: because this is a very destructive habit and addiction. It's
Speaker 1: so destructive and there are resources out there to help
Speaker 1: navigate through it, not just covering eyes, but also like
Speaker 1: getting connected to a group of godly men that can
Speaker 1: you help keep you accountable and remind you of the
Speaker 1: things that God's word, that God's Word says, and also
Speaker 1: continue to just sit in God's word. Let that be
Speaker 1: the thing that is going in your eyes and your
Speaker 1: ears and getting into your mind and going down to
Speaker 1: your heart like you're almost like trying to flush out
Speaker 1: that addiction with God's word. Just preaching to yourself all
Speaker 1: the time, all the time. So anybody out there that
Speaker 1: is wrestling with this, I definitely recommend what Granger's talking about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you guys have a question for me, Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com would love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: Could be about any subject. As Bernie and I have
Speaker 1: proved today, we do not cut up this podcast once
Speaker 1: we start it. We're rolling so bloopers and all you're
Speaker 1: going to see. I don't even stop the podcast to
Speaker 1: take the beeping clock out of the room. But I
Speaker 1: love you guys, I love this platform, and I love
Speaker 1: this dude burns back at you, man, Thanks for being here.
Speaker 1: Good to be back all next Monday. Thanks for joining
Speaker 1: me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of
Speaker 1: you guys. You could help me out by rating this
Speaker 1: podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel,
Speaker 1: hit that little like button and notification spell so that
Speaker 1: you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you
Speaker 1: have a question for me that you would like me
Speaker 1: to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie