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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: People pleasers, we do this thing and people say do

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Speaker 2: you have time?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Well I do, because you don't know. Put all your

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Speaker 2: stuff first, create the space you to have all the

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Speaker 2: juiciness and the excitement of what you need before you're

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Speaker 2: out there available for anybody else.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 4: women like you.

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Speaker 2: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 4: Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 3: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 3: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 3: black women can just be. Okay, Lady, today, we have

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Speaker 3: a special guest, and this is one of those conversations

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Speaker 3: where I feel so lucky and blessed to be able

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Speaker 3: to do this work as podcasters. Okay, we are so

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Speaker 3: excited for this conversation and selfishly because we have so

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Speaker 3: many questions and our guest has an amazing book that

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Speaker 3: we're going to talk about a little bit later that's

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Speaker 3: perfect for where we are in our lives. Okay, so

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Speaker 3: give ready, get ready. Grace Harry is an artist, entrepreneur,

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Speaker 3: creative news pleasure instigator, and speaker. After an illustrious thirty

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Speaker 3: year career and entertained, Grace the Joy Strategist found her calling,

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Speaker 3: leading what she calls the revolution of Joy. Through her

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Speaker 3: popular playdate community Played with Grace, she helps everyday people

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Speaker 3: welcome joy back into their lives. Her work has been

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Speaker 3: featured in The New York Times, Hello, Giggles, Vogue Online,

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Speaker 3: The Times UK, The London Evening Standard, and many more. Lady,

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Speaker 3: go get her book right now. Okay the Joy Strategist

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Speaker 3: your path to interchange. Grace welcome to cultivating her space.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, You're welcome. Exciting first of all

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Speaker 2: your smile. I'm just captivated. Amazing. Yes, I love it.

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Speaker 4: Well, Grace, we are so excited for this conversation, and

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Speaker 4: I know it's very nice to talk offline before we

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Speaker 4: signed on about just where we are each individually.

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Speaker 2: In our lives.

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Speaker 4: And we know that this conversation is going to resonate

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Speaker 4: not only with us but with our listeners as well.

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Speaker 4: So we're gonna jump right in and we're gonna start

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Speaker 4: with the quote of the day. Now, Brace, our quote

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Speaker 4: of the day will sound familiar to you, because you

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Speaker 4: know we've been doing our research and these are your words.

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Speaker 4: Joy is not the cherry on top, it's the whole cake.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna say that one. We're talk put the people

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Speaker 4: in the bag to make sure they caught this. Joy

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Speaker 4: is not the cherry or on top, it's the full take. Okay, Grace,

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Speaker 4: you're the joy strategist. Will you share your words? What

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Speaker 4: what's the story or inspiration behind this particular quote?

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, thank you so much. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: is I love it. I love that you've done your

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Speaker 2: home work. I love that the conversation jumps in. I

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Speaker 2: often say that people that I really enjoy are people

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Speaker 2: that start conversations from like T. You know, we're not

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Speaker 2: at A or B small talk and we're just jumping

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Speaker 2: right in at the end of the alphabet. So thank you. Yes, yeah, Well,

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Speaker 2: first of all, I think it's really important that we

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Speaker 2: understand that the joy strategist is our hearts, that each

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Speaker 2: of each of us has a joy strategist, each of

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Speaker 2: us has a GPS system within us. And when we

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Speaker 2: start to do the work of taking off the the

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Speaker 2: isms and the beliefs and the concepts about who we

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Speaker 2: are and start to really open up to that, we

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Speaker 2: have this gift of guidance within us when we feel

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Speaker 2: safe enough, safe enough to trust that experience. So that's

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Speaker 2: really the beginning of that. And then yeah, I just

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Speaker 2: think you know, it's opening up to what really is

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Speaker 2: our truth?

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Speaker 3: O shoot four and Grace, there is so much that

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Speaker 3: we could talk about. Well, we're going to try to

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Speaker 3: stay a little organized here and so we I looked

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Speaker 3: at your bio. You have lived okay, you have lived

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Speaker 3: quite an adventurous life. But can you take us back

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Speaker 3: to your origin story? How did you become the Grace

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Speaker 3: Harry that we see today? Well, thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: I mean, as an ever evolving human. I'm like, who

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Speaker 3: is who are we today? I don't know who was

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Speaker 3: I this morning?

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Speaker 2: But I feel like the good news of my life

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Speaker 2: is something I penalized myself for a long time, not

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Speaker 2: having a very specific structure in my life. It allowed

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Speaker 2: me to open up two concepts about what do I enjoy?

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Speaker 2: How do I feel? How do I want to express?

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Speaker 2: What am I here to do this time on Earth?

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Speaker 5: School?

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Speaker 2: What's my mission? And I always knew from a very

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Speaker 2: young age that it was impacting each other with our gifts,

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Speaker 2: that somehow that's really what it's all about. And you know,

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Speaker 2: I just really got on the concept of, like, how

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Speaker 2: do I achieve the American dream? And let me get

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Speaker 2: to the highest peak of every single possibility? And when

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Speaker 2: I got there, to a very seemingly aspiration kind of life,

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Speaker 2: I didn't feel great. And that was complicated to you

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Speaker 2: know that that feels a little bit like a failure

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Speaker 2: in itself, even the admittance of that, because who the

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Speaker 2: hell am I to decide that, you know, a popular

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Speaker 2: concept of life is not the life for me. And

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Speaker 2: it's not that that life wasn't for me. I wasn't

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Speaker 2: living in it, you know, I had created this concept

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Speaker 2: about myself of who I had to become to live

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Speaker 2: this life, and when I look back at those times

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Speaker 2: and what the book, the root of the book is

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Speaker 2: really about is how we create those stories ourselves. And

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Speaker 2: that's not to say that people don't have real situations

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Speaker 2: in our lives, but I mean, how often I love

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Speaker 2: to tell this the story I had a friend and

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Speaker 2: she was meeting another friend and they were supposed to meet.

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Speaker 2: Let's say it was Tuesday, seven pm. So she texts

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Speaker 2: her beforehand, no response. You know, another hour goes by,

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Speaker 2: four hours later, she can't find her. The first ten

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Speaker 2: minutes she was worried about her, like something happened to

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Speaker 2: her in her mind, and then you know, she went

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Speaker 2: into a little bit more of frustration around the situation

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Speaker 2: in her own mind's creation of a story. They had

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Speaker 2: had a thing, Maybe it wasn't the right date, did

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Speaker 2: they have an issue, all of these different things that

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Speaker 2: we created, And at the end, she dropped her phone

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Speaker 2: in the toilet so she couldn't she hadn't know any

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Speaker 2: numbers by heart, because who does it anymore? Sadly, And

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Speaker 2: so it's really that it's that understanding that if we

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Speaker 2: don't learn to what I say is more of really

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Speaker 2: the foreplay of everything is learn to communicate intimately from

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Speaker 2: our heart, the communication of our heart with everyone around us.

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Speaker 2: We're in a twenty four hour gas light and we're

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Speaker 2: never getting closer to the experiences we want to have

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Speaker 2: because we're not living in our actual truth. So at

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Speaker 2: zail that to day, I wasn't in a tangent, but

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Speaker 2: so that just led me on a path of what

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Speaker 2: lights me up. You know, my mother moved to Haiti

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Speaker 2: when I was a teenager, and so I was on

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Speaker 2: my own, very young, and I just kind of started

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Speaker 2: to just feel into what are the experiences I want

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Speaker 2: to have. I was a chef for a while and

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Speaker 2: I loved that, and when I felt like that experience

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Speaker 2: had come to where it needed to come for me,

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Speaker 2: I dove into something else. But when I look back

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Speaker 2: on that time, really I was always in music. A

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Speaker 2: lot of my friends, very young, were in bands, and

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Speaker 2: you know, we're early in their careers, and hip hop

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Speaker 2: was so young in those days, so it wasn't like

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Speaker 2: every place played it or everyone was accepted. There was

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Speaker 2: only a few places that you really went to have

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Speaker 2: that experience, and I'm blessed that so many interesting people

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Speaker 2: all showed up at the same place the same time,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, so I just let that take me. And

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Speaker 2: I've always had a really easy time connecting to creators

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Speaker 2: and helping them translate their vision. So I just decided

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Speaker 2: that's what I was supposed to do and did it

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Speaker 2: in all the ways, and especially wherever it could be

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Speaker 2: philanthropic or where it could really lean back into gifting,

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Speaker 2: where the orige of anything came from the origin of

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Speaker 2: that music community, whatever. So that's how I got here

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Speaker 2: in a very surreal, esoteric way. If you have a

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Speaker 2: specific I'd love to get into it.

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Speaker 3: Hey lady, it's Terry here Dom and I want to

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Speaker 3: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 3: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 3: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 3: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 3: about this.

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Speaker 6: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 6: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 6: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 6: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect

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Speaker 6: with like minded black women like you and share your

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Speaker 6: ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, I

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Speaker 6: want you to imagine a world where you're in the

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Speaker 6: exclusive Cultivating her Space Sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout your

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Speaker 6: day and week, you are conversing with us about what's

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Speaker 6: happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and.

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Speaker 1: Or personal wins.

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Speaker 6: How does that sound?

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Speaker 3: Hopefully this is up your alley, lady, because we are

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Speaker 3: taking things to the next level this year, and we're

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Speaker 3: doubling down on investing in our community.

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Speaker 2: That means you.

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Speaker 3: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 3: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 3: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast

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Speaker 3: in twenty nineteen, and to date we have not missed

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Speaker 3: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all

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Speaker 3: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs.

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Speaker 3: We release fresh new content every single Friday like clock work,

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Speaker 3: and we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that

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Speaker 3: can really help you up level your life. So if

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Speaker 3: you love our mission or you've gotten value from us,

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Speaker 3: this community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon.

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Speaker 3: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 3: on one time with us. We also have an option

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Speaker 3: you can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 3: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 4: Email Grace. Oftentimes when we do interviews, we do get

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Speaker 4: specific right, and when I and not just I mean

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Speaker 4: the we in general, people in general.

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Speaker 2: Right. But I love the way.

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Speaker 4: That you answer that question. And as I was listening.

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Speaker 7: To you, what was coming up to me was how

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Speaker 7: didn't you know when it was time to let something

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Speaker 7: go or move and move on to the next thing,

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Speaker 7: or maybe shift your focus in one area to some

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Speaker 7: thing different.

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Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, that's the best question, because that's really

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Speaker 2: the root of everything, you know. In my book, I

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Speaker 2: break it down into I'm sorry, I'm attacking this plant.

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Speaker 2: I break it down into just kind of these areas

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Speaker 2: of life that really impact us, you know, like would

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Speaker 2: you date yourself or building your starting five or understanding

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Speaker 2: just kind of that the most important job in the

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Speaker 2: world maybe is producing a person or something new, or

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Speaker 2: invention or just a pioneering of something. But anyone who

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Speaker 2: steps up to that as an amateur, right the first

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Speaker 2: of your parent you're an amateur. So that concept always

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Speaker 2: made me curious and lean into oh, okay, so we're

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Speaker 2: all just a bunch of whatever is dropped down here

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Speaker 2: trying to figure it out and come up with Okay,

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Speaker 2: I figured this part out. I figured this part out,

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Speaker 2: and that gave me the permission. Also, my mother is

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Speaker 2: very inventive and always started new companies and did different things.

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Speaker 2: So I never had that concept that if I didn't

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Speaker 2: have a very specific, you know, lifestyle or career, would

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Speaker 2: I would be it'd be unfavorable in my family, and

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Speaker 2: so I always just listen to what felt good. Now

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Speaker 2: that's complicated, and you know, I think early on we're

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Speaker 2: pre verbal when we first really understand love. And then

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Speaker 2: on top of it, the media is constantly entertainment, music,

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Speaker 2: everything is pushing us to this concept that and you

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Speaker 2: find that one true love. But really the work forever

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Speaker 2: is like learning to be in real relationship with yourself

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Speaker 2: and being so radically. You know, whatever language works for you,

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Speaker 2: if you treat yourself the way you did a lover

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Speaker 2: or a boss or a parent, or we're so good

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Speaker 2: to them and we're so good at make sure we

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Speaker 2: do the things, and then we don't really give ourselves

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Speaker 2: one percent of that, we don't really make ourselves a

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Speaker 2: star of our own story. And when we start to

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Speaker 2: lean into that, it becomes like a boundary setting concept.

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Speaker 2: We're walking around life like in a supermarket, choosing yes,

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Speaker 2: I want four things from ile one, nothing from mile seven,

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Speaker 2: I want something from here, understanding it's not a me

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Speaker 2: pick me, it's a okay, you know what, I've filled

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Speaker 2: myself up so much, so what can you do on

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Speaker 2: top of that? And not monetarily but just an energetic concept.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like it's really that it's learning to

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Speaker 2: be so honest with ourselves, even through the uncomfortable moments,

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Speaker 2: that our picker is really clear. We know what our

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Speaker 2: heart wants, and so I've just learned to trust that.

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Speaker 2: And you know degrees, you know, you learn singing in kindergarten,

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Speaker 2: you might learn math also in high school. It's just

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Speaker 2: a little bit more of that situation. And so for me.

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Speaker 2: It's just been I've learned early to start to listen

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Speaker 2: to it, and I can see when I don't how

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Speaker 2: it just kind of leads me back around to that

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Speaker 2: same exercise or example anyway. So that's how I know.

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Speaker 2: You know, if you're sitting in a space and a

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Speaker 2: career and a friendship and in anything, and you're starting

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Speaker 2: to talk inside your head more than you're talking out

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Speaker 2: into that experience, you know, or you're starting to like

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Speaker 2: it doesn't automatically feel good. You're holding your stomach, you're chesting.

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Speaker 2: You know. It really is not a question of knowing.

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Speaker 2: It's a question of learning to trust. And we've all

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Speaker 2: had situations our life where we've lost trust of ourselves,

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Speaker 2: and you know, it's really the work of it's our job.

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Speaker 2: In the same way we have to feed ourselves, and

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Speaker 2: we have to remember to breathe because we're not always

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Speaker 2: breathe fully. We have to get dressed so we're not

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Speaker 2: outside getting arrested naked. We also have to lean into

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Speaker 2: our own joy. It's really that important. It's a communication

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Speaker 2: of our heart. And in this whole mental health awareness

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Speaker 2: concept and how challenging things feel, it's time to kind

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Speaker 2: of get real with our own pleasure and allow that

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Speaker 2: to also have the balance of all the feelings. And

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Speaker 2: so that's how you start to know is you've just

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Speaker 2: got to trust it even when it looks wonky. What

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Speaker 2: I was supposed to be in Utah for a month

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Speaker 2: and now I'm getting the strong poll to be in

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Speaker 2: New York and have this thing, and all these opportunities

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Speaker 2: are starting to fly in around New York. So obviously

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Speaker 2: it's supported. Don't nine time guess that, you know, forget

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Speaker 2: second guests. We nine we're like twenty five times send

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Speaker 2: me a God, can you directly let me know? And

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Speaker 2: so it's really it's leaning into that, like the truth

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Speaker 2: we can feel, but we really don't want to accept.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so oh you appreci it, Yes, that's love. Good, Okay,

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Speaker 3: we appreciate the wisdom. We're soaking it up. We're soaking

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Speaker 3: it up, Grace. Okay, So Grace, we have a lot,

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Speaker 3: a bunch more questions for you, right, ok But we

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Speaker 3: want to shift up the energy a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So because we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman,

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Speaker 3: and we believe that it's okay to be bougie classy

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Speaker 3: and ratchet. You can still be elegant and dance just

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Speaker 3: strip club music if you so choose. Okay, so, Grace,

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Speaker 3: we want to invite you to the oh you blatchet segment?

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Speaker 3: Do you take on the challenge?

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Speaker 2: I take on the challenge? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Okay, cool, Now that we got you, Grace, So we're

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Speaker 3: gonna ask three questions. We're going to ask questions or

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Speaker 3: going to share three sentence completions, and then we have

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Speaker 3: three photos pulled up with you on the big screen

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Speaker 3: that will share in just a moment. But what we

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Speaker 3: want to do is we're going to shoot the number

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Speaker 3: out of one in three and we'll then reveal that photo.

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Speaker 3: And we want you to give us some context about

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Speaker 3: the photo that we wouldn't know just by looking at it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, got it. So we're going to.

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Speaker 3: Start with the questions. We're going to ease into this segment.

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Speaker 3: The first question for you is what's the best piece

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Speaker 3: of wisdom or advice you've ever received?

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Speaker 2: Oh, the best piece of wisdom and advice have ever received?

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Speaker 2: It was actually recently. It was the last couple of years,

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Speaker 2: and I was in this moment with the book where

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Speaker 2: I was feeling like I was doing the thing that

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Speaker 2: when you know, when you do the thing where you're

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Speaker 2: telling someone something and you know the advice for yourself

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Speaker 2: and you've heard yourself give it to other people, I'm

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Speaker 2: started laughing at myself, like, oh right, I know this.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to please everyone. I'm trying to make this

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Speaker 2: situation safe for myself. I'm trying to somehow go down

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Speaker 2: the slide, gripping the sides, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: And she said, you know what, half the world doesn't

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Speaker 2: like you anyway, and that sounds terrible when I say it,

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Speaker 2: but this person is all love. This is my love, Ayisha,

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Speaker 2: And that actually was almost like a relief, like no,

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Speaker 2: you don't. You're not here to please everyone. You're here

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Speaker 2: to be integrity and have and hold up your integrity

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Speaker 2: about how you feel about your own stuff, and that

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Speaker 2: you hope with everyone's you know, mature concepts of their

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Speaker 2: own responsibility, of their own hearts, that all lands in

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Speaker 2: a way where people maybe don't even agree but accept

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Speaker 2: that that's we can agree to disagree. So that really

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Speaker 2: helped me with good advice. And I think if that

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Speaker 2: sounds harsh, because when I've told this story, people are like, oh,

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Speaker 2: but just this concept that we cannot be everything to

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Speaker 2: everybody because the one person we're robbing is ourselves. And so,

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Speaker 2: you know, I was, I'm a recovering people please their

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Speaker 2: fear rejection I and so I spent years just I

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Speaker 2: want to please, I want to try everyone like me.

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Speaker 2: I would. But I was sabotaging myself. I could feel

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Speaker 2: it in my own body. You know, I wasn't breathing

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Speaker 2: full that was holding my stomach. I was, you know,

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Speaker 2: it was a liar. I was never lying intentionally or

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Speaker 2: cheating anything, but I was. I was. I was cheating

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Speaker 2: the presence, being present and that experience of living. So

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Speaker 2: to me, that's the best advice is that you know,

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Speaker 2: while you're focusing so much on another and deciding in

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Speaker 2: our own brain because we're all psychic, right would they

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Speaker 2: feel and with the alcohol go back to us? Or

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Speaker 2: you know, when you're pointing at someone or you got shoulds,

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Speaker 2: there's three fingers pointing back to you. So whenever I

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Speaker 2: start feeling like, oh, holier than THATW like I have

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Speaker 2: the answer for someone, I just lean into Wait, where's

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Speaker 2: my to do list? What are the things that Grace

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Speaker 2: neands to do for Grace. So I think that's, you know,

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Speaker 2: a robust way to answer that one thing, but it's

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Speaker 2: it's really make yourself the star of your own story.

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Speaker 4: I don't love that all right now, we're going to

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Speaker 4: take a totally different turn when that is fun and

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Speaker 4: a roller coaster. So and so, Grace, you are deeply

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Speaker 4: connected to the music industry. So I'm curious this next question.

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Speaker 4: Are you them at Quirk or two?

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Speaker 2: Still? Oh, I'm going to work, But let me tell

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Speaker 2: you something. A little disclaimer from when we're out in

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Speaker 2: public together, this incredible group of entertainers in Atlanta who

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Speaker 2: just are magic, and we're on the road with them,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, you know, I want to learn

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Speaker 2: how to work. So they start trying to teach me,

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Speaker 2: and it really didn't go so well. And they said,

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Speaker 2: you know what, that's a shame that you have all

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Speaker 2: that ass and you really just can't. So it's a

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Speaker 2: lifelong goal. I'm working on it. I'll take anybody's support,

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Speaker 2: but I'm definitely the goal and the great intention is

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Speaker 2: always to work.

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Speaker 3: Yes, well, Grace, if you ever come to the Bay Area,

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Speaker 3: they have a twerk class out here that Dom and

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Speaker 3: I have gone to together. They call it twerk church. Well,

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Speaker 3: in the class the Founders, it's called free the cheeks.

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Speaker 3: So if you're ever here, let us know.

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Speaker 2: We'll walk to church. I'm coming to work. I think

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Speaker 2: the word church made me feel like, okay, there's salvation.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to learn this. Y.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that's right. You got this so great. Our

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Speaker 3: third question for you from this segment is what's the

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Speaker 3: sexiest item you owned?

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Speaker 2: You know, that's so funny because I feel very in

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Speaker 2: a bit of a ritual moment. And I was in

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Speaker 2: La a few years ago and I was in enough

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Speaker 2: like Aravetic sawma thing. And I have two kids that

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Speaker 2: I have five, some gift babies, but the ones I

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Speaker 2: pushed through, so I have some some like body tattoos

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Speaker 2: from pushing those babies here. And this woman, I felt

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Speaker 2: she had really good intentions. And she leaned over and said,

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Speaker 2: I have a really good doctor if you want a

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Speaker 2: mommy makeover. And I said, you know what, this is

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Speaker 2: actually mommy makeover. This is what that looks like all

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Speaker 2: by its out. So the reason I'm saying that is

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Speaker 2: because my good friend is a jeweler in La and

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Speaker 2: she made me this body chain and I kind of laugh,

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Speaker 2: like I don't have a body to our body chain.

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Speaker 2: But for some reason, having this, even if you never

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Speaker 2: see it, just when I move a certain way and

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Speaker 2: just feel it under my clothes, it just feels like

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Speaker 2: such a remind or that like I am my own lover.

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Speaker 2: So that to me, I really, I really prescribe that

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Speaker 2: we have things. And I've said this before and unflat

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Speaker 2: and I want to be understood. I'm not at all

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Speaker 2: saying everyone I said, bye, fancy lingerie. I'm just saying

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Speaker 2: it's important in this world of polarity driving us in

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Speaker 2: every way, that we have some things that are just

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Speaker 2: for us that remind us that we are delicious. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's talence is or something things that no one needs

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Speaker 2: to know, but you feel it during the day and

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Speaker 2: you're like, oh right, I got that there. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you got it. So you're telling people just by

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Speaker 2: the way.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I love that.

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Speaker 2: I love that. Okay.

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Speaker 4: So now we're going to mold to our center of completion.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

434
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 4: Our first center of completion is one question or topic

435
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 4: I wish people ask me about more often?

436
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: Is the one topic I wish people ask me about

437
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 2: more often? Is how to rebirth their lives.

438
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 3: Wow, you want to believe this?

439
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: Grace?

440
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 3: Whow The next sentence completion just happens to be what

441
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 3: I would tell people about rebirthing their life is? Are

442
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 3: you serious?

443
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 2: No?

444
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 8: But we know I was like, mine's blown psychic. I

445
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 8: was like, I'm flying the bay tomorrow. But we would love.

446
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 3: To know what would you tell people about rebirthing their lives?

447
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 2: You know, again, I really preface this not because I

448
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 2: don't want people to be upset with me, just I

449
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 2: don't want people to feel like what I'm saying is

450
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 2: beyond themselves. I'm not saying to do this literally, but

451
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 2: what we really are as humans is we're stories. What

452
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 2: do we do when we get together? We tell our stories.

453
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 2: We're a collection of stories. Where what is the word

454
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: the griote?

455
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 9: Right?

456
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 2: This, this concept of the storytether that keeps an energy

457
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 2: alive is what I believe is what the meaning is.

458
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 2: So if there's all of us have different degrees of

459
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 2: pain and trauma that comes from you know, these well

460
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 2: intentioned amateur parents trying to do the best they can,

461
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 2: you know, and some of them maybe not so much,

462
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: but whatever, so we can either lean in that that

463
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 2: can become our character, as saying before, like victim consciousness

464
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: could be my character. Or if that's not feeling so good,

465
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 2: we can start again. We've grown. When we were little

466
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: we said I'm going to stay up all night and

467
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 2: I'm gonna eat whatever, and I'm gonna we don't do

468
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: any of that, so let's start right. Like when I

469
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: started this process again and I realized, okay, I'm getting

470
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 2: divorced for the third time. What is this about. I

471
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 2: started from the beginning. I was like, okay, yes, maybe

472
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 2: I'd love a childhood where I was more cuddled or

473
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 2: more so. I started swallowing myself. I sorted reading kids

474
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 2: books to myself. I started putting back times, bubbles back

475
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 2: in my routine, and just starting to cherish and care

476
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,679
Speaker 2: for yourself the way you would if somebody, if one

477
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 2: of a friend that you love so much, drop their

478
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: baby off for a weekend. Why don't we start treating

479
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 2: ourselves that way. Think about this. You can come home right,

480
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 2: you have a full day and you're exhausted. Feeding yourself

481
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,120
Speaker 2: even seems like too much. But then let somebody call

482
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 2: you at nine point thirty talking about a surprise date,

483
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden we have a lot we have,

484
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 2: we have energy. We have we can get in the shower,

485
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 2: we can make a meal, we have energy to put

486
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 2: on something extra cute, all whatever. So let's not sure

487
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 2: change us. Let's start to rebirth and redo those stories

488
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 2: for ourselves. Even you know, people ask me a lot

489
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 2: of times about what meditation and manifestation. And I have

490
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: a good friend who taught, who has an expression you

491
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 2: can manifuck yourself, And I love that because we don't

492
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 2: realize that we use. We get all these new buzzwords

493
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 2: self love and self care and affirmations. But if we

494
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 2: don't really know really what the impact for ourselves are

495
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 2: and what we really need out of those modalities, they don't,

496
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 2: they're not gonna have the full magnitude. So it's not

497
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 2: just I want to be a childlike again. I want

498
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: to know I'm going to give myself that experience totally different.

499
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 2: I can sit around and complain I didn't get to

500
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 2: go to the park and morfin well, you know what,

501
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 2: You've got a Saturday, even if you work five jobs,

502
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 2: you got ten minutes, get our swing, go on a

503
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 2: you know, to have these get a group of friends together.

504
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 2: I do now once a month, and I just put

505
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: all the things. We bring all the things, and we

506
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: just do art all day crafts. We just re upcycle things,

507
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 2: we die things, we bleach pattern things, We send each

508
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: other different ideas. You know, a few weeks ago we

509
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 2: were making different kinds of adult milkshakes and putting the

510
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 2: popsicle things. Doesn't matter, you know what I mean. It's

511
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 2: just that it's keeping that spirit, that passion that you know,

512
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 2: the the oiling up of our heart, beating it, which, which,

513
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 2: which leads to everything else, our life being more delicious.

514
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 2: Who we choose to let into our hearts. You know,

515
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,400
Speaker 2: what we do with our with our gifts, our resources,

516
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 2: money or not for money. All those things really come

517
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 2: from a well supported heart and a well listened to heart.

518
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: So that's the rebirth start. Now, whatever it is, I'm

519
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 2: in my teen years now, I'm having a ball.

520
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 4: Yes, oh yes, okay, so our final sentence completion. What

521
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,959
Speaker 4: I'm allowed most about myself.

522
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 2: Is what I love most about myself is my crazy, curious,

523
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 2: contrarian spirit. You know, I just there's nothing that I

524
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 2: don't pick up or I'm like, what is that? How

525
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 2: does that work? What's underneath it? Oh? Have you seen,

526
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: and I really think that's what keeps me feeling and

527
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 2: I don't and I hesitate to say this because it's

528
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 2: another word that's gotten cuckoo in our language. But young

529
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: and I mean young, I mean beginner's mind, I mean open,

530
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 2: not like I look young. I mean that I feel

531
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 2: that so much as possible, because I continue to stay

532
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 2: in that curious and the contrarian is important too, because

533
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 2: we have a lot of things that were passed down

534
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 2: to us that are not fact check by own hearts.

535
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 2: Do we believe in these things? Are these things good

536
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 2: for us? Are they true? And so that contrarian part

537
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 2: of me really makes me continue to be in pursuit

538
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: of my own pleasure. So I love that about myself.

539
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 2: I didn't used to love that about myself. That used

540
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 2: to scare me, that part of myself. So that's important

541
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: to realize that, you know, the parts of ourselves that

542
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 2: we want to move into and magnify from sometimes have

543
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,239
Speaker 2: a lot of scariness around them in terms of who

544
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: the hell do we think we are? What are other

545
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 2: people going to think? So it's a lot of work

546
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 2: to really support her or what however you identify with

547
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 2: your pronent is support that vision of yourself.

548
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, so many gems. Okay, we're going to show you

549
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 3: this picture in a moment, Grace. But I have to ask,

550
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 3: are you recording an audio book for your book?

551
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 2: Do you know? Can I tell you? I have a

552
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: very good friend who I think has such a great

553
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 2: voice and is a DJ and a drummer and all things.

554
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 2: And he kept saying, you have to do your own audio,

555
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: and I was lining up everyone else to do it,

556
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: and I really kind of got happily pushed into doing it.

557
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 2: And it was such a fun experience. Now I want

558
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: to do every cartoon. I want to be a voice

559
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 2: for everything good and so much fun. Yeah, it was

560
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 2: here you speak.

561
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 3: I'm just like, we need to we need to reread

562
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 3: the book with the audiobook because I need to.

563
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 2: Just hear you tell me what you think. I was

564
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 2: really trying to go slow because I get excited and

565
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 2: I want to so I and when I go slow,

566
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 2: I was laughing because my voice sounds like I'm trying

567
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: to be sexy. So I can't wait to hear what

568
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 2: do you think?

569
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 3: But yeah, we cannot wait. We cannot wait. Okay, so great.

570
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 3: We want you to choose a number out of one

571
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 3: in three seven and was kidding. Oh, I'll wait, what

572
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 3: is your number out of one in three three? Okay?

573
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 2: Good?

574
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 3: This is going to be such because it's such a

575
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 3: good picture. They're all really good.

576
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 2: But what we want you to.

577
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 3: Do is describe the photo for those that are only

578
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 3: tuning into the audio, and then once you describe the photos,

579
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 3: give us some context about the photo that we wouldn't

580
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 3: know by looking at it. I'm so appy you tell

581
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 3: it from Swan so okay, Okay, I'm scared you'll see

582
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: it on the big screen in a second.

583
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: Oh you chose a good one. Okay. So I don't

584
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 2: know why I want to start here, but you know,

585
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: when you're in a space in life, when you're in

586
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 2: a relationship of some sort, well, describe the photo. Sorry.

587
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 2: I'm wearing a blonde wig that's like very seventies, kind

588
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 2: of like a Michelle fi from Scarface ish. And I'm

589
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 2: wearing my favorite glasses that I have on now because

590
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: when I learned I had to wear glasses, I was like,

591
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make them cute. And I'm in a tropical place.

592
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 2: I'm actually in Trinidad. I don't know if you can

593
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 2: tell that from the photo and I look like I'm

594
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 2: trying to be sexy, but I'm actually exhausted because we

595
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: had a long day. But what was great about this

596
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 2: is that when I started this journey of rebirthing myself,

597
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 2: there was a lot of things that I didn't do

598
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 2: because I in my people, my people see I'm getting

599
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 2: excited in my people pleasing character. I had a lot

600
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 2: of rules to keep me safe in that, and one

601
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 2: of them was I didn't go on these big group

602
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 2: trips my friends are always going on, and I didn't

603
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 2: stay at people's houses and all of this really like, oh,

604
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: I don't be a burden. And so my good friend

605
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: Shaka was having his fiftieth birthday and he was going

606
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 2: to go to Carnival and true a dad and I

607
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: got the strongest yes. It made no sense. It was

608
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: like February, this is the this is right before the pandemic,

609
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 2: and we just started. We didn't hear about it being

610
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: a thing yet, but we started hearing there was something

611
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 2: happening in China and there's no rooms available, and that's

612
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 2: not how I get down. And he placed to do

613
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 2: my morning yoga, Like everything about it was nuts, and

614
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 2: I just did it. I just jumped and I went

615
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 2: and I show I mentioned earlier my love and we

616
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 2: had a ball and it turned out to be it's

617
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: also my fiftieth year, not yet, but in two months,

618
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: and four of our other friends see nice A bunch

619
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 2: of us was like all our fiftieth and I had

620
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 2: such a bob And I couldn't stay though, because I

621
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 2: was just start in the middle of doing this book

622
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: and doing the book specifically with Antscape and Disney, so

623
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 2: I was like on a deadline, and I think, but

624
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 2: I decided that since I was missing the actual carnival

625
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 2: the next day, and because I was starting to try

626
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: to break out of this this insecurity around being in

627
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 2: social situations and how I had to show up, I

628
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 2: wanted to show up as the character I felt like

629
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 2: being that night. And it was fun because a lot

630
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: of people there I've known since I was a teenager,

631
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: and some had just met me and I'd been with

632
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 2: them for five days. So we go to dinner and

633
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 2: I put on you can't see this picture, but this

634
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 2: like vintage stretch one piece jumpsuit with like secrets. I

635
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: never do stuff like that, and I put this wig

636
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: on and I came up and I introduced myself with

637
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 2: a different name. I was like, im, my name is Dahlia.

638
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 2: People freaked out and I stayed in character for hours,

639
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm mean, Like, have fun, gamify life.

640
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 2: Why not? Like we all act so serious and things

641
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 2: just yes, and there are so why don't we It's

642
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 2: not like the problems that we're having today are not

643
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 2: something that are atrocious and that we shouldn't all join

644
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 2: together and focus on. But when you get on the airplane,

645
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 2: you have to put your own mask on first, so

646
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 2: you get oxygen so you don't take the next person

647
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 2: down trying to get their mask on. Shoving it on

648
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: your face is to find the moments to express yourself fully,

649
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 2: to be in complete joy. And this was such a

650
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: turning point for me to not give a fuck because

651
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 2: I'd had been so many fucks before that it was

652
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 2: so this, So this picture marks such a beautiful moment.

653
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 2: And then it was like such an interesting granny moment

654
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 2: happened right after, because then the pandemic happened and I

655
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 2: was in my house and I got to fantasize the

656
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: whole time that my last trip was this trip, right,

657
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 2: and so it felt like it's true right, I was

658
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: like I want on all levels, like I listened to myself.

659
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: I did that people thing, which is like, you know,

660
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 2: trusting myself the whole thing. So I love that you

661
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: pick this one that.

662
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 3: Was such a good one, and like a couple of

663
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 3: weeks before, because I'm in San Francisco, a couple of

664
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 3: weeks before San Francisco went on lockdown. I'm looking at

665
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 3: the date you took this picture, said you you like

666
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 3: got in there. Thank you so much, Grace for playing along,

667
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,959
Speaker 3: and are oh you bleatch his segment that was so fun.

668
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 3: I'm going to jump into some other questions for you,

669
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 3: so if you can just talk to us a bit

670
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 3: about how did you personally transition from perceiving joy as

671
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 3: a porny or cliche four letter word to not only

672
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 3: embracing it but also building your brand around it, Like

673
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 3: what transformative experience did you have to shift that perspective?

674
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 2: Yes, a few. Well, the first one was, you know,

675
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 2: I was doing the thing that I do, which is

676
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: like I learned something new. I'm going to get a

677
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 2: self help thing and I want to just eat it

678
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 2: up and miss kind of the subtleties often of the message.

679
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 2: And I was doing that, I was like, I'm going

680
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 2: to be better and I'm gonna blah blah. But I

681
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 2: was doing all this stuff for the wrong reasons. And

682
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 2: I was starting to feel this duality in myself of like, oh, oh,

683
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 2: you want to do this work and grow, but you

684
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 2: want to do this work and grow to prove to

685
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 2: people that you're not crazy, that you didn't like blow

686
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: your life up and your has been and the cuckoo

687
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 2: thoughts that we all kind of, you know, work hard

688
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 2: not to let take over in our beings. And so

689
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 2: I just I know and I believe, and I say

690
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 2: to myself when I'm in the hardest moments, what God

691
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: has done for me in the past will do again.

692
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 2: And more so, I don't ever believe that I'm just

693
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 2: going to get dropped on the ground. So when I

694
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 2: feel in those moments where I'm about to get dropped

695
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 2: in the ground, I go into that, like, you know what,

696
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 2: let me go into my own constitutional history. It's like,

697
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 2: my life has been amazing, beyond my wildest dreams, Like

698
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 2: and I say that to say, like it's been beyond

699
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 2: the things that I could even see from myself. So

700
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 2: I have to believe that God of my understanding is

701
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,919
Speaker 2: guiding something, and so I leaned in and I looked

702
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 2: for the message, and I kind of wanted to hear

703
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 2: about these spiritual teachers who sit under a rock for

704
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 2: like a month and then all of a sudden the

705
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 2: message came. So I did. I went to do this

706
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 2: silent retreat experience. What was a breath and silent retreat.

707
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 2: It wasn't a full sign of retreat. My friends who

708
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 2: really do them with gag if I said that, I

709
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 2: actually and then I heard the voice. It's that like

710
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 2: I was really trying to find like when was the

711
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: last time I had so much fun? I laughed so loud,

712
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 2: like almost something almost fell out. My nose or my

713
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 2: cheeks hurt the next day, and it took me a

714
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: long time to access that. And then I got this

715
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 2: straight visual of myself in this park in Brooklyn, near

716
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 2: where I grew up on a tire swing and I

717
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 2: remember going up so high that it was the first

718
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 2: time I felt like weightless, like I had a childhood

719
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: where I just felt a lot of pressure. It was

720
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 2: like a lot of stuff happening and that weightless feeling,

721
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 2: and I felt lighter in that moment, and so I

722
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 2: literally the next day, ran out to a playground, got

723
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 2: a lot of weird looks, I had no kid with me,

724
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 2: and got on a swing and felt that feeling again,

725
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 2: and I was like, okay, that feeling. More of that, please,

726
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 2: I want more of that, and just started to really

727
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 2: just start to lean into how I felt like got

728
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 2: inside my body. Actually, you know, we talk about it

729
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 2: all the time, our bodies, but we don't realize we

730
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: have this one car. We take better care of our car,

731
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 2: car than this vehicle that we have to drive in

732
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: for the rest of our days. So you know, I

733
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,959
Speaker 2: just I started to feel into those little, tiny, achievable

734
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 2: small bites of joy and build on it. More of that,

735
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 2: less of this, oh, more of that, less of this. Oh,

736
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 2: when I do more of joy joyce when I take

737
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 2: my joy snacks and I move around with intention and

738
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 2: every second. And that's the thing. We could do our

739
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,760
Speaker 2: practices in the morning and get ourselves to an energetic

740
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: state where we can walk out and handle the world.

741
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 2: But we're going to get hit with some you know,

742
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 2: micro joy robbing all day. So how do we start

743
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 2: to really put that in our life? And so when

744
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 2: I realized that part, I started talking to all my

745
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 2: friends like are you really having Like are you really

746
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 2: feeling good? Like are you really? Because also I also

747
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 2: lost I've lost five of friends in my life. That's

748
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 2: a lot of suicide in my adult life. That's a lot,

749
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 2: you know, even though it's it's over my life, it's

750
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: just a lot. And they're often the ones that felt

751
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 2: the most joyful and the most So I really check

752
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 2: in now with myself when I push myself, because I

753
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 2: go hard pushing myself to do things and people I love.

754
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,919
Speaker 2: And when I started really I don't know, I wanted

755
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: to say like evangelizing, but when I really started going

756
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 2: out and just speaking about the simplicity of reconnecting to

757
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 2: things about ourselves that remind us that we have these

758
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: tools and that we don't need intermediary to talk to source,

759
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 2: I got excited. And I also got sad because then

760
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 2: I was doing the new thing that people often do

761
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 2: when they have a new thing, where we're like shoving

762
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 2: it at people, which is judgment. So I had to

763
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 2: let go of people who were not on that exact

764
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 2: place and the journey with me, And then I also

765
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 2: had to realize that I also I didn't realize that

766
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 2: I perceive there's a perception of me that I'm fearless

767
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 2: because I do make these big steps, and that gave

768
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 2: people permission to not hear me. And so I thought,

769
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 2: you know what, I respect that too, so let me

770
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 2: take it away from me. It's why I use a

771
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 2: lot of sports nowologies and cultural references because I'm not

772
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 2: I'm not at guru. I'm not I'm not over here

773
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 2: saying I'm an expert. I'm saying the joy strategist is

774
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 2: your own heart. But give them that give the heart

775
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: the tools to help you make these strategies and to

776
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: choose itself first. And so the book felt necessary because

777
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,240
Speaker 2: I just wanted people to understand me a little better

778
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 2: and themselves. So and so when I realized that, and

779
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 2: you know, it was hard for me to make the

780
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 2: switch from being about everyone else. You know, I'm a

781
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 2: behind the scenes person and my own family, my kids

782
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 2: and husbands. To me, I had a lot of like

783
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 2: who they help Dosh you think she is? But because

784
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,280
Speaker 2: it's not about me, it's really I feel so blessed

785
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 2: to be this vessel of a concept that there's a

786
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: there's something to replace, not fear, because we need to

787
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 2: understand that fear is actually our ally it moves us

788
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,720
Speaker 2: to grow deeper and go in more. But from fear

789
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,279
Speaker 2: becoming the boss of fear taking over and what you

790
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 2: can use to her place it's invasive behavior is joy

791
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: whom I mean every every answer. There are just so

792
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 2: so many jims. I know I'm trying to make them less.

793
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 4: No, no, we will, we will keep it up, keep

794
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,760
Speaker 4: them coming, and so grace.

795
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,879
Speaker 9: When you think about the science that you work with,

796
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 9: right the folks that you are helping them to cultivate

797
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 9: the joy in their lives. What some of the themes

798
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 9: that you notice that might be preventing your clients from

799
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 9: accessing that joy.

800
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 2: Well, the number one thing all of us do as

801
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 2: humans is we really we started. We start to go

802
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: from this, you know, zero to seven, no analytical mind.

803
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,879
Speaker 2: We're completely in our imagination anything's possible to really want

804
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 2: to secure our place in our community, our tribe are

805
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 2: for safety, and we start to alter and we start

806
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,760
Speaker 2: to change. And so one of the things I really

807
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: I like to work with people is to give them

808
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 2: the permission to give themselves the permission to start to

809
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 2: dismantle some of the things that they feel keep them

810
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 2: safe in their core family or whatever they feel is there,

811
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 2: what's going to keep them alive? You know that when

812
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 2: we feel triggered, is that we go to that survival

813
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 2: pattern behavior and we start to go into that Am

814
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 2: I safe? Am I going to be alive? Am I

815
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 2: going to get fat? I mean we get to the

816
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 2: basics when we get on that fear loop. And so yeah,

817
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 2: I do. I think I lost my own story. But

818
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 2: the real concept is that we all are creators.

819
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 9: Right.

820
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 2: It's like I've worked with people that are fancy, and

821
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: I've work with people that are big in the world,

822
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 2: but we all are big in the world, and we

823
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 2: all have a mission here and we're all creators. And

824
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 2: so for me, what was exciting was to see that

825
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 2: working with some of the most influential people in the world,

826
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 2: we're all humans. We're all literally dealing with the same

827
00:41:55,239 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 2: things over and over and over and over again. So

828
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: the concept for me is not these people do this

829
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: and these people do that, but how can we all

830
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: start to get to this place? And I break it

831
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 2: down to things that feel like the big topic, but

832
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 2: they're really all the same thing like would you date

833
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: yourself versus the business of me? Something I really like

834
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 2: to talk about like looking at yourself as a business,

835
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 2: but also the business of us when we're a relationship

836
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 2: with anyone else. So there's us as separate. It's not

837
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: I have to melt into you and you melt into me.

838
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: There's this great Tony Morrison quote where she says, I'm

839
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 2: going to watch this up. But the quote please look

840
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 2: it up everyone, because it's amazing. But the concept is,

841
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,399
Speaker 2: I don't there's no falling in love. I rise in love.

842
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 2: I choice love, you know, And so that concept is

843
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: for all of us as we rewrite our stories and

844
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 2: we reconnect to those parts of ourselves. It's it's it's

845
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 2: that I don't know if I answered the question, but

846
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 2: all of.

847
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:58,720
Speaker 3: That, yes, sat Okay. So I'm going to say this again.

848
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 3: Go get Grace's book book and also get the audiobook

849
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 3: because Grace, I feel like we can just listen to

850
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 3: you speak forever. Your book is amazing. It's a physical

851
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 3: experience as much as a literary one, and also interactive

852
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 3: and practic, practical, also colorful, which is always fun. So

853
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 3: one of the things you talked about in the book

854
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 3: is you are on this I believe silence slash breathing

855
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 3: retreat and you had to write your own eulogy. Now,

856
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 3: I am someone who enjoys talking about death and legacy

857
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 3: and dom and I have done podcast episodes about it

858
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 3: as well. Can you talk to us about what that

859
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 3: activity taught you and why you would encourage others to

860
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 3: do the same.

861
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 2: Yes, I believe you know, again, not penalizing technology. I

862
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 2: think technology is amazing and the advances, but just like

863
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 2: everything that becomes an addictive thing, it's not the thing,

864
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: it's how we're leaning into it for our help and

865
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 2: our support. And so what was the question again, it's okay,

866
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 2: just about your eulogy? Yeah, outside o. Yes, So I

867
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 2: noticed that we're getting into this place. Technology allows us

868
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 2: the opportunity. My daughter taught me about this word insul

869
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: and voluntarily celibate. But it's more that we're kind of

870
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 2: coming more inside ourselves in our bubbles versus really coming

871
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 2: out ourselves in life. And so what it taught me

872
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 2: was because this tech technology and how we're becoming so

873
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 2: superficial with our communication with each other, it taught me

874
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 2: that what really matters at the end, that's really the thing,

875
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: Like what do I want to leave it as a

876
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 2: legacy and starting to look at all my movements from

877
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,320
Speaker 2: that bigger space and not from a more pressure space,

878
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: but from a oh yes, right, it's not because we

879
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 2: all get there. I mean I've been there, like this

880
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 2: video on this shoot and is the most important thing

881
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 2: in my life. No, it's not. Actually, so if we

882
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 2: pull back, so you know, and I really urge people

883
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 2: to make a negative space calendar. I think it's such

884
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 2: an interesting exercise when you make a calendar of there's

885
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 2: something of service that I want to always be doing,

886
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 2: Like I love to go and read with kids or

887
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 2: to fi activities with teens, and I always try to

888
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 2: find a space to do that. But also this dance

889
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 2: class that feeds my soul, this once a week walk

890
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 2: with my friend, that one hour talk with my dad

891
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 2: or my mom or whatever it is, and then on

892
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 2: that and then you have work and obligations, and then

893
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 2: you have family oblications, and then you have time for friends.

894
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 2: Because people pleasers, right, we do this thing and people say,

895
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 2: do you have time? Oh, well I do, because you

896
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,760
Speaker 2: don't know. Put all your stuff first, create the space

897
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: for you to have all the juiciness and the excitement

898
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 2: of what you need before you're out there. Available for

899
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 2: anybody else. Ooh, I love that. I love that.

900
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 4: And so when you think about, because I know it's

901
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 4: getting late at the time, that we're a record in

902
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 4: this interview, and we we want to make sure that

903
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 4: I'm big on sleep and rest and making sure that

904
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 4: people get there. So that's whole We're going to answer

905
00:45:55,880 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 4: one final question. Hello, and so our ask question, and

906
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 4: when you think about if there were one thing that

907
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 4: you wanted folks to take away from understanding the importance

908
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 4: of joy in their life, what would that one thing be.

909
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 2: Yes, the one thing would be that when you open

910
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 2: your eyes every day, you do have a choice of

911
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 2: one thing. What is the energy of the day. I

912
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 2: have a friend named Annie as a podcast and she says,

913
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 2: we are really truly our number one job is to

914
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: be the CEO of ourselves, the chief energy officer. And

915
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: even if you think that's I know, when she said that,

916
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 2: I was like, Annie, you're killing me so cool. But

917
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 2: when you think of that, you know, even if that

918
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 2: sounds were woo, everyone's been in a situation where you're like,

919
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 2: I don't like that. No, that's energy. So let's acknowledge

920
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 2: that and then set the tone. And I acknowledge that

921
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 2: some people live in a household with lots of people

922
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,839
Speaker 2: and they have a lot of commitments. But you have

923
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 2: a minute before you you know, even if roll yourself

924
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 2: in your bed, before you answer your phone to your boss,

925
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: or deal with your kids or yours, whatever, you jump

926
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 2: on somebody of the news, anything that takes you out

927
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 2: of yourself. First, just have a thank you or a gratitude.

928
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 2: Just start your day so that you could run your day.

929
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 2: And your day is not running you. And I promise

930
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 2: you that has a ripple effect and everything else in

931
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 2: your life because the universe has a sense of humor.

932
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 2: They're only going on what you're creating. And if you

933
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 2: are waking up like I'm not as valuable as this

934
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 2: or but when you just wake up with the little

935
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 2: who I'm grateful, I open my eyes. I'm grateful, I

936
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 2: have a bed, I'm grateful, I have a friend. I'm

937
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 2: great and some days I feel so I mean not

938
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 2: great that I'm like, I am glad I have oxygen

939
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 2: and even laughing at myself. Can I have to get

940
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 2: that baby? But what I'm really saying, you start your

941
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:05,760
Speaker 2: day with a little joy smack, a little gratitude, a little,

942
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 2: a little softness. Be kind to my friend Tom, Be

943
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 2: kind to my friend Terry, Be kind to my friend Grace. Like,

944
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 2: let's give ourselves. If we were lying next to someone

945
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 2: that we just had a very good night with in

946
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 2: the morning, we'd want to we want to make sure

947
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 2: they knew how amazing they were we wanted. We want

948
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:26,800
Speaker 2: them to leave feeling pumped up and full of Let's

949
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 2: do that for ourselves. Let's pass every mirror in the

950
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 2: morning without judgments. Let's set up by a look, I

951
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 2: have bags or wrinkles. Let's start the whole morning. Let's

952
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 2: try it as an exercise. This gamify it. Okay, Oh

953
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,760
Speaker 2: you have great eyes. Oh I love that you're smiling.

954
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 2: Whatever you can muster. But just if anybody can do anything,

955
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 2: just give yourself a minute at the very beginning of

956
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 2: your day to give yourself a gift of some delicious

957
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 2: energy and see where it takes you.

958
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 3: Grace, you put the g in Jim, because you dropped

959
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 3: so many gems.

960
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:02,399
Speaker 2: Mike.

961
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 3: We appreciate you so much, Grace. We are so grateful

962
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 3: for what you're doing in the world. We hope to

963
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 3: keep in touch with you and have you back on

964
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 3: the show. Thank you, Thank you, thank you, and lady,

965
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 3: that's the show.

966
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,839
Speaker 5: Hey lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

967
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,919
Speaker 5: Space Podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

968
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 5: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

969
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 5: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

970
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 5: That's D R D O M I N I q

971
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 5: U E B R O U S S A r

972
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 5: D dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation.

973
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 5: I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining

974
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 5: us today. Please note that our show may contain conversations

975
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 5: about self help, advice, self empowerment, and mental health, but

976
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 5: is by no means meant to be a substitute for

977
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 5: an ongoing formal relationship with a trained mental health provider.

978
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 5: If you are someone you know is in need of

979
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 5: mental health care, please visit a Therapy for Black Girls

980
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:23,800
Speaker 5: directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

981
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 3: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

982
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 3: the conversation going, visit our website at Herspace podcast dot

983
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 3: com and be sure to click the Patreon tab to

984
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 3: get access to video content bonuses in our weekly after

985
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 3: show and before we Meet.

986
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 1: Again, repeat after me.

987
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 3: Every dream within me exists because it's possible.