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Speaker 2: to check out for any purchase over thirty dollars, I

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Speaker 2: check out, go check it.

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Speaker 3: Out through way you love letters, I got it, make

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Speaker 3: me feel better. I finely got you hol my big,

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Speaker 3: but I still gonna get you with my head. I'm

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Speaker 3: saying you want to take it a time. I know

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Speaker 3: you buy your phone, so boy, pick up your lin

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Speaker 3: I ain't too bout the bag, so was VINCENTID has Vincent.

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Speaker 1: In Annie?

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Speaker 3: You to know? You don't know what love is in Annie?

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Speaker 1: You don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, you know.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Nila and it's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday. I hope you

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Speaker 1: guys had a good day at work or whatever the

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Speaker 1: fuck you did today. Also aggressive work work or if

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Speaker 1: you're listening to this on your way to work Thursday morning, workday, workday?

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Speaker 1: What's up? Nothing much? Just try to live my best life? Hmm,

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Speaker 1: what's up with you? Nothing? I mean, I mean obviously

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Speaker 1: things Patreon We have any Patreon, which was really stressful,

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Speaker 1: but I'm really glad it's up. So if you guys, we.

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Speaker 2: Have some new Patreon members. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 2: caring and supporting.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for supporting us.

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Speaker 2: Also, we've we sent out we sent a requests for

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Speaker 2: nudes and you guys came through with the news.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, we've gotten We got some really good nudes,

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Speaker 1: mostly from We had some great ones from women, but

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Speaker 1: I was really shocked about the man ones, Like apparently

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Speaker 1: all of the men that listen to us have big penises.

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Speaker 2: Know why, it's because we have big penis energy, like big,

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Speaker 2: like big, big, like scary.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm scared that I can handle that.

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Speaker 2: It's like, wow, Okay, this is the best. This is

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Speaker 2: the best request you've ever put out we got. We

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Speaker 2: got a couple of pussy pics.

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Speaker 1: We sent a few.

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Speaker 2: Don't think if you send news we're just gonna send

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Speaker 2: you some back automatically.

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Speaker 1: They have to be really impressive only and they will

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Speaker 1: only be on that like one replay setting on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: Although we did encourage our other male listeners, like just

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Speaker 1: send it into the DM. Stop doing the replay, Jamila

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Speaker 1: didn't get to see your day, like I'm missing it.

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Speaker 1: I keep pressing play right, I'm like okay.

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Speaker 2: And also, I you know, I realized it just if

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Speaker 2: it's fun, it's fun to send needs to your friends,

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Speaker 2: you know, if you don't feel like if anyone to

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Speaker 2: feel sexy for feel sexy for us because we appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we appreciate your naked body. Other than that, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It's just it's been it's it's retrograde. I

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Speaker 1: feel like my electronics have been fucking up, but I

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Speaker 1: electronics and me just don't go well period. So I

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Speaker 1: don't even know if it has anything to do with that.

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Speaker 1: I have just been a feeling. I don't know. I've

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Speaker 1: been feeling a range of emotions. I was feeling like

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Speaker 1: super empowered one day because I feel like I like

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Speaker 1: expressed my boundaries to someone and I was like, yeah, fuck,

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Speaker 1: that feel really strong. And then the next day I

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Speaker 1: was like I fucking hate everyone. And then the next

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Speaker 1: day I was like okay, and then I repissed me off,

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Speaker 1: and then then I did some like desperate like ego

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Speaker 1: shit that we'll talk about later in a minute.

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Speaker 2: Oh you're gonna talk about that, okay, like real rap. Well,

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Speaker 2: welcome to adulthood.

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Speaker 1: I realized the other day, I don't know you had

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Speaker 1: left and I was in the backyard with.

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Speaker 2: Luna, and I have a storage, and I forgot I

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Speaker 2: had a storage, and they called them, like you owe

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Speaker 2: us four hundred dollars or we're selling your stuff, and

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 1: Just like, A had a child tantrum.

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Speaker 2: I was like, and then I looked over a Luna

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Speaker 2: and she was looking at me, and she's just smiling bright,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, really recognized that I had a

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Speaker 2: real life tantrum, Like I I threw a fit, and I.

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Speaker 1: Just realized, Yeah, every day is a gamble.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you're up and you're feeling great and empowered and motivated,

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Speaker 2: and some days you.

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Speaker 1: Can't get out of fucking bed. And that's adulthood.

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Speaker 2: So you're not alone, I don't think. But she just

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Speaker 2: really sounds really kind of psycho out loud.

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Speaker 1: No, No, I know, I know, I know I'm not alone.

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Speaker 1: It's just I don't know. I just feel like it's

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Speaker 1: that mid year things are like I don't know, it's summertime.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what. It is, just a lot happening,

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Speaker 1: and I feel I feel, really, I feel more comfortable

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Speaker 1: with myself than I probably ever have in my life.

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Speaker 1: But also so and but also with that comes such

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Speaker 1: awareness that my bad choices that I used to make,

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Speaker 1: I used to be able to make them and like

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Speaker 1: be like whatever, but now like I'm just I make them,

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Speaker 1: and then I like hate myself for a little bit

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Speaker 1: for a while, yeah, because of them, or I just

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Speaker 1: like not even hate, Like there is that. But then

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Speaker 1: there's also this part of it where I'm just like

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Speaker 1: over analyzing it, Like what does that mean for me?

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Speaker 1: Why am I still doing that? Maybe I haven't worked

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Speaker 1: past my triggers. Maybe I'm not over my baby daddy.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'm you know, like all these things like maybe

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Speaker 1: do I want a boyfriend?

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Speaker 3: Do?

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Speaker 1: Or do I want a boyfriend? Maybe I'm not pata.

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Speaker 1: Pattern tells me that I'm meant to walk the lowner's path,

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Speaker 1: like it's like a fucking novella. Pattern keeps telling me

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Speaker 1: I'm so to be fucking alone my whole life. But

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Speaker 1: here I am full of love and ready to give it,

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Speaker 1: but no one wants it. Like so that's where I'm

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Speaker 1: not welcome, Yeah to adulthood. But I think that's true.

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Speaker 2: And I think mostly in the thirties, shit happens and

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Speaker 2: then you're so hyper aware of yourself and like, fuck.

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Speaker 1: I did that because I have trauma.

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Speaker 2: Still, I'm funck, I'm not heeled, I'm fucked up, dody,

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Speaker 2: did I cry today?

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Speaker 1: I Mean I went to therapy the other day and

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Speaker 1: my therapist was like, why do you think because I

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Speaker 1: was telling her about like what I what I did

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Speaker 1: this weekend or last weekend? Which, what did you do, Erica,

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Speaker 1: what did you do this weekend? Well last weekend? Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's start.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, let's start what let's start what we were

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Speaker 2: really drunk?

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Speaker 1: Okay? So I had been drinking all day and then

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Speaker 1: I went to I invited Jamila and a few friends

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Speaker 1: to my baby Daddy's show. He was performing, and so

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Speaker 1: I went to see his show. And why I went

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Speaker 1: to see his show, or why I've gone to see

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Speaker 1: multiples of his show? This is like the second round

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Speaker 1: of shows in two weeks. Yeah, like I've been, you know,

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Speaker 1: supporting his shows and supporting him because maybe I think

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Speaker 1: I think part of it is because it's what I'm

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Speaker 1: used to doing with him when he's here, just in

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Speaker 1: our relationship. I just support him, even like when I'm

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Speaker 1: mad at him, I want to support him. But I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of it also has to do with ego,

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Speaker 1: because I wanted to go and see, like what's going

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Speaker 1: on over there? What's happening? What's happening there? See there's

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Speaker 1: girls there? I don't know, like maybe a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but also like who are you hanging around? Just checking

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Speaker 1: in general, just because I don't always trust the people

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Speaker 1: he keeps close and those people also are around my kid,

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Speaker 1: which I told my therapists, and she goes, this is

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Speaker 1: not really.

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Speaker 2: Why Oh you got a real one?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, therapist not be playing. She like, is that really

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Speaker 1: why you went? Erica? I think so. Also, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Anyway, We've just been on good terms lately,

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Speaker 1: we haven't been arguing. And I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I know he's you know, work makes him happy. It's

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Speaker 1: when he's the happiest in all aspects of life. And

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Speaker 1: I love him and I love to see him happy,

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Speaker 1: and so I know, I feel like I haven't been

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen that in a long time, and so

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Speaker 1: I wanted to. I guess part of me like likes

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Speaker 1: to witness him in his element. So anyway, I went

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Speaker 1: to the show. I brought my girls. It was fun.

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Speaker 1: It just kept drinking, drinking, drinking, and then his show

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Speaker 1: ends and we go back to the dressing room and

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Speaker 1: I have to go pee, and so I walk into

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Speaker 1: the bathroom and he's in the bathroom, and I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: fuck it. He's seen me pee four hundred thousand times,

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Speaker 1: so whatever. So I pulled down my pants and then

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Speaker 1: my phone drops in the toilet and then I like,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get it out. My pants are half down,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like drunk, and it's kind of a hot mess,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like laughing. And then he's laughing and he's

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Speaker 1: helping me get my phone out of the toilet and

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Speaker 1: it's all wet and it's gross, and then suddenly we're close,

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Speaker 1: and then and then I kissed him. Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: My self proclaimed I never never, I've never done it,

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Speaker 2: which I was honestly. I was out the room. I

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Speaker 2: mean I was in the room, but we're waiting for

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Speaker 2: her to come out the bathroom. Someone else had to pee,

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Speaker 2: one of our friends, one of her very investigative friends.

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Speaker 2: And I'm so drunk. But after first I was sitting

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Speaker 2: away from them and I was looking at them and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, hm, she has been there a minute. So

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Speaker 2: I moved next to them, like she's been in there

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Speaker 2: a long time. I'm like, yeah, but I'm not worried

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Speaker 2: about that. There's nothing happening in that bath there. Then

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Speaker 2: like three more minutes go by, I'm like, hmmm, could

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Speaker 2: it be. It's like no, there's no way, there's no way.

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Speaker 2: And like two more minutes go by and she's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I know something's happening in that and I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: there's no way. And then I'm like, what the fuck

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Speaker 2: is happening in that bathroom? So then she comes out

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Speaker 2: all guilty looking damn sure enough, you overst the baby

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Speaker 2: daddy boundary. I mean I've done it like four thousand times.

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Speaker 1: Just like the moment I did it, I felt regret

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Speaker 1: and like, I don't know, like I did it and

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Speaker 1: I saw it happening. It was like slow motion, like

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Speaker 1: I saw his face like coming towards me. I specifically

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Speaker 1: remember his teeth for some reason, I don't know. He

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Speaker 1: was smiling and I said, and then finally I knew

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Speaker 1: she loved me. And then at the moment I walked

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Speaker 1: out of the bathroom, my friend Jessica was like her

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Speaker 1: head like she was literally the first person I saw

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Speaker 1: her head like popped out of the crowd and was like,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? And I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: like judgment. Fuck, So yeah, I did that. Did you

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Speaker 1: feel anything? Was that where you did it? To if

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Speaker 1: he's to see if you would feel anything. I think

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Speaker 1: part of it was that it was a culmination of things,

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Speaker 1: and that's why I'm saying, like I can't make bad

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Speaker 1: choices anymore and then not over analyze them. And like

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Speaker 1: part of me, like in my analyzation is that word animalization.

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Speaker 1: It sounds about right. Of what how this came to

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Speaker 1: be is I think a large part of it is ego,

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Speaker 1: because I just felt like I wanted to assert myself

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Speaker 1: in the room and in that situation, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: make sure. I wanted to see if he would still

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Speaker 1: be receptive to me, which I kind of knew he would,

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Speaker 1: but I wanted I also wanted to see if I

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Speaker 1: could if I felt anything. I was, I've been horny.

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Speaker 1: It was just like a bunch of things, like I

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Speaker 1: just watched him on stage, which you know is a

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Speaker 1: turn on, like whether or not I want to admit

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Speaker 1: it or not watching someone in their element. So it

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Speaker 1: was just it was just all fucked up, and I

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Speaker 1: feel really guilty about it. I just feel like I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to lead him on and make him think like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: now we're gonna get back together and now there's a

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Speaker 1: future between us, and that's been like why I've been

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Speaker 1: so adamant about not doing that, and also because I

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Speaker 1: just haven't wanted to, you know, and I was just

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Speaker 1: beating myself up about it. And so anyway, I talked

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Speaker 1: to my therapist and I was telling her what I

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Speaker 1: did and she was like, well, why do you think

248
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Speaker 1: you did that? And I told her all those reasons

249
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Speaker 1: and she said, yeah, but there's something deeper than that.

250
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Speaker 1: I was like, what daddy issues because obviously, like that's

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Speaker 1: like where everyone goes yeah, and she said well yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I said, well, of course I have daddy issues,

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Speaker 1: like that's not a secret. And she's like, yeah, but

254
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Speaker 1: like what is it that you know? What are your

255
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Speaker 1: daddy issues? Like did you not feel secure? Did you

256
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Speaker 1: need you didn't get the attention you want. I was like,

257
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Speaker 1: it's all those things. And as we started talking about it,

258
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Speaker 1: I started getting emotional about talking about my dad, which

259
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Speaker 1: I feel like I've I thought I've worked past all

260
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Speaker 1: those things. I mean, but I guess there's still a

261
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Speaker 1: part of me. Obviously. She's like, there's still that little

262
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Speaker 1: girl inside of you that hasn't worked past it, which

263
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Speaker 1: is why you're getting emotional now, which is why you

264
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Speaker 1: are always seek male attention. If you don't get it

265
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Speaker 1: from the person you want, you're going to get it

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Speaker 1: from somewhere, somehow else. And that's always true for me.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, like, if you're not getting male attention from

268
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Speaker 2: the person you want to get it from, you'll divert

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Speaker 2: it to the next person.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just yeah, I mean, is that human nature? Though?

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Speaker 1: Well she said no, oh okay, she said no, that's

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Speaker 1: daddy issues, because that's what I said. I said, well,

273
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Speaker 1: don't women do that. She's like no, I was like,

274
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Speaker 1: I She's like, I was raised by my dad. My

275
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,360
Speaker 1: issues are my mom issues. I don't seek male attention,

276
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Speaker 1: don't I don't feel like I need that if I'm

277
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Speaker 1: not getting male attention from someone whatever, you know, And

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Speaker 1: she's like, obviously, there's a lot of factors that play

279
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,800
Speaker 1: into play into that. It's not solely one thing, but

280
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Speaker 1: a lot of it is rooted. And you know, your

281
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,520
Speaker 1: first you know, the first male figure in your life,

282
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Speaker 1: whether he was there, whether he was wasn't there. Maybe

283
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,000
Speaker 1: he was there but wasn't giving you the attention you wanted,

284
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Speaker 1: wasn't showing up for you in the ways you wanted

285
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,680
Speaker 1: them to show up for you and all those things

286
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,480
Speaker 1: are true for me. And she's said, and I said, Okay,

287
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Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do about that? Like how

288
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,360
Speaker 1: do I She's like, well, when you feel the need

289
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:59,040
Speaker 1: to for male attention, when you know it's not necessarily

290
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,480
Speaker 1: it's not real, then you need to talk check in

291
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 1: with yourself and be like do I really do I

292
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Speaker 1: really want this and be strong enough to say don't say, well,

293
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,760
Speaker 1: fuck it, I just want to do what I want

294
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Speaker 1: to do, because that's what I do. Often. I'm aware

295
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,040
Speaker 1: of it, but I'm like, whatever, I'll deal with the better.

296
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Speaker 1: And the more I keep doing that, the more this

297
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,160
Speaker 1: is just gonna continue going. And like I don't want

298
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,880
Speaker 1: it to continue or I don't want to confuse my

299
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 1: relationship with my father, my daughter's father, Like we're in

300
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,960
Speaker 1: a really good place, like we've been getting along really well,

301
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:31,280
Speaker 1: and this is what I asked for, This is what

302
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,600
Speaker 1: I asked for. I want. I wanted to have a

303
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,920
Speaker 1: relationship with him. I wanted to have a friendship with him,

304
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,360
Speaker 1: and that's what we're working towards. And it's not enough

305
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,920
Speaker 1: now now that he's giving me what I want, Now

306
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,400
Speaker 1: I want more. I want his attention. I want him

307
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,520
Speaker 1: to want me. You know, it's so fucked up. It is.

308
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,760
Speaker 1: It is. And you know what, when you're used to like.

309
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Speaker 2: Having a companion, the way you're close with your baby daddy,

310
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,000
Speaker 2: the way I'm close I was, We were close in

311
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 2: those spaces, it's like almost like routine to be in this,

312
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,320
Speaker 2: to be an certain way. I'll write a show together.

313
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Speaker 2: Oh it's not a video of PE's not a video

314
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,600
Speaker 2: because like because that's what it is. It's comfortability, Like

315
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 2: this is my homie almost, And so the loss of that.

316
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,880
Speaker 2: I don't think people like women recognize there's a morning

317
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,119
Speaker 2: that takes place in any breakup early.

318
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,600
Speaker 1: But this, particularly when it's with the person you've.

319
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,880
Speaker 2: Created a child with, You've never experienced that with anyone before.

320
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 2: Like this is a very vulnerable place, and as women

321
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,600
Speaker 2: and society tells us, like there's something it's supposed to happen.

322
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,640
Speaker 1: We're supposed to work.

323
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 2: With a fucking picket fence, even when you know they're crazy,

324
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 2: even when they know it doesn't work. But like it's

325
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 2: I can get I get emotional now still with shit

326
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 2: with my baby daddy, just because it's still such a.

327
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 1: It's still such a like a vulnerable place.

328
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,520
Speaker 2: Uh and even not even just that likely who tapt

329
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 2: like go backwards, but also healing from it, like you

330
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 2: know what I mean reopening that Have you really healed

331
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,360
Speaker 2: from the pain that he's inflicted on you? And can

332
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:06,440
Speaker 2: you imagine overstepping that boundary when that wound is still

333
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,720
Speaker 2: not completely healed. I was at one of my girlfriend's

334
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,639
Speaker 2: house and she's engaged, but the guy talks to her

335
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,760
Speaker 2: crazy and it's on a regular basis, and it's to

336
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 2: the point where I'm like, yo, chill and I've said

337
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,320
Speaker 2: something and then like, don't say anything.

338
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,880
Speaker 1: It's not your place. And it's like, okay, I.

339
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,480
Speaker 2: Get it, but like yes, like the other day, I

340
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 2: was like he did something. I'm like squeezing her, like

341
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,399
Speaker 2: you know what, something is uncomfortable, you like push your

342
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,560
Speaker 2: friend's knee or something.

343
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 1: And afterwards it was just annoying.

344
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,440
Speaker 2: It just bothered me, and I realized I was triggered

345
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 2: because I've been in a relationship that was.

346
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 1: Verbally abusive, that was abusive, and it just.

347
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 2: I just realized how triggered I am by it by

348
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 2: seeing someone else experience it and them being so numb

349
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,520
Speaker 2: to it, and it just made me realize, like there's

350
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 2: so much healing that still has to take place, and

351
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,439
Speaker 2: we haven't been together in three years.

352
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 1: I know it's it's it's so true because I realized too,

353
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,119
Speaker 1: Like I thought that even when I was talking to

354
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 1: my therapist and she was saying I was like, well

355
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:13,160
Speaker 1: she was, I was. She said, you guys, they're still

356
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 1: healing to be done. I know you want to be friends, Erica,

357
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 1: but I don't know if that's possible. Like, you guys

358
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,080
Speaker 1: need to just be co parenting, like you can't because

359
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 1: if you don't, then you're just gonna keep going in

360
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 1: this limbo, in this cycle. You like, and you don't

361
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 1: want to repeat what you repeated the other night, right,

362
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 1: because that's not really what you want. You don't want

363
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,239
Speaker 1: to fall down that trap. You don't want to lead

364
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 1: him on and then have him, you know, end up

365
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 1: being mad at you later and then having to basically

366
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 1: do a whole like reheal everything all over again.

367
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,639
Speaker 2: You were like, really, my baby, we still are my

368
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 2: baby mama idol in that sense, I'm like, well, this

369
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 2: bitch is never backs up and I've and we both.

370
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,960
Speaker 1: Have our baby mama idol single baby mama you're my single.

371
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 2: Baby mama idol because you never mess back with your

372
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 2: baby daddy after it was over.

373
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,000
Speaker 1: It's so admirable. Girl. It's real hard out here, but

374
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 1: somebody has to do. Wait.

375
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: I was looking empty for the longest, but now now

376
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 2: I'm just normal and basically like everybody else.

377
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly just made out, which is great, bitch

378
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 1: like me. And actually he pulled away.

379
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,600
Speaker 2: Mmmm wait, like so you would have maybe continued. Probably

380
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 2: I was drunk, oh right, so like if you would

381
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 2: have turned you over back?

382
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 1: Maybe not maybe, I don't know who knows, but he

383
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 1: probably was like what's happening? He probably yeah. And then

384
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 1: and then because we're in the bathroom and I was

385
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,919
Speaker 1: drunk when we pulled away, then he was he was

386
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 1: like getting dressed when this was happening. So then he

387
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 1: was getting dressed like he was naked, and he was

388
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 1: like putting clothes on. And then I was in the background,

389
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 1: like the mirrors in front of it, like we're both

390
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 1: facing the mirror, but I'm against the wall and he's

391
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 1: getting dressed, and I I just like was making all

392
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 1: these faces because I was like having so much turmoil happen.

393
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 1: I was just like what do I do? Oh my god, Okay,

394
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 1: wait it's fine. No, wait it's not okay. Wait what

395
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 1: is he gonna think? Fuck? I'm drunk? Oh my god.

396
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 1: And then like I see him looking at me and

397
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 1: he's like, are you okay? How drunk were you didn't

398
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: realize that he could see you? And I don't know.

399
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 1: It was just like couldn't help it. You know, I'm

400
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: like one of those people that it's really hard my

401
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 1: facial expressions. I can't get them together as much as

402
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 1: I try, especially with Tequila's involved. Like I don't know,

403
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,439
Speaker 1: I just didn't give a fuck, And until I realized

404
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,679
Speaker 1: he saw all the facial expressions that I was making,

405
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 1: which was like fear, anxiety, like drunkness, like regret, confusion,

406
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 1: like it was all wrapped in one. And then I

407
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 1: looked at myself in the mir and I was like,

408
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 1: oh god. And so it was just and then you

409
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: know what annoyed me afterwards, which is so also ego driven,

410
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,920
Speaker 1: because after we left, we got out of the room

411
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,359
Speaker 1: and we sat down and everyone was probably like, what

412
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 1: the fuck do they do? And they I probably thought

413
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: we had sex, which we did not. I asked him.

414
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: I said I was like, so, what are you doing tonight?

415
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 1: Because apparently I cared and he was like, I'm gonna go.

416
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna go to the strip club. And

417
00:20:53,760 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 1: I was immediately triggered and pissed because there's no reason

418
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 1: for me to be but because because I was just like,

419
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,719
Speaker 1: so you don't want to hang out with me? The fuck? Also,

420
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: the strip club you spent like he spent most of

421
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 1: my pregnancy in the strip club, And that was this

422
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,159
Speaker 1: is a trigger for you. It's a super trigger for me.

423
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 1: I don't trust strippers the offense. If you're one, I

424
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 1: just have had bad experiences. And I was just like, Nikka,

425
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,919
Speaker 1: I just fucking kissed you, and you can go to

426
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 1: the motherfuckers strip club. And then I was like, where

427
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 1: which strip club you at? Carson? I was like Carson.

428
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, Okay, this is why

429
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 1: this is why we're not. You don't even go to

430
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,239
Speaker 1: the good show. You don't even go to the good one. Well,

431
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 1: maybe maybe there's a good one out there. I know

432
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 1: you don't know, but all those things, why does that

433
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: matter to me? It shouldn't matter. And then the next

434
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 1: day didn't matter. Like the next day after I wasn't drunk,

435
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: and I wasn't emotional for no fucking reason. I was like, yeah,

436
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 1: of course he's going to the strip club. That's what

437
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 1: he does, you know, And like that's what and that's

438
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 1: what he should do. That's who he is, and that's

439
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: no judgment. That's what brings him joy and makes him

440
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 1: and that's what he wants to do after a successful show,

441
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: then by all means, go do that. It's not my

442
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: place to be mad at him about it, and I

443
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: like was mad. I was annoyed with myself that I

444
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 1: got annoyed, got annoyed, and then I judged him and

445
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,439
Speaker 1: all those things because he's doing what the fuck he

446
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:16,919
Speaker 1: wants to do.

447
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 2: Did your therapist offer you any advice, like actively right

448
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 2: now in your adulthood, like what can help daddy issues,

449
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 2: like spending more time with your dad right now to

450
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: like maybe well.

451
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: She asked, She asked about the state of my relationship

452
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: with him right now, and I told him I to

453
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: re fine. I was. I was like, she's liked you

454
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 1: see him often. I was like, no, does that bother you?

455
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: I said, you know it does sometimes, only because I

456
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 1: see him out with my brothers and sisters. And he

457
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 1: very plays an active role in their life. But I've

458
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 1: almost got become numb to it at this point, and

459
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: it's not And some of it has to do with

460
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 1: me too. I don't always make the effort either. You know, therapies,

461
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 1: you like he therapies.

462
00:22:59,200 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 2: Me.

463
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,439
Speaker 1: I do you think it's healthy to be numb to it?

464
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: Because obviously, no, it's not. It's absolutely unhealthy. And that's

465
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 1: why I kissed my baby daddy.

466
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 2: Okay, right, But she also trikes me to the conclusion

467
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 2: of why we're here.

468
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: Well, she said that I just need to figure out

469
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 1: how to play the role that my dad didn't. I'm

470
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 1: never going to get back those those years. So whatever

471
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: it is that that's missing for me, I need to

472
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: find out how to fulfill that within myself by myself,

473
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 1: and not try to find a man to fulfill those

474
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: things because I'll constantly be disappointed. And I know that.

475
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: I know that, And I told her, I said, yeah,

476
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: that all sounds good. I already know that, but like.

477
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: Why don't you just ask your dad to like go

478
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: on a dinner date every two weeks instead of day?

479
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 1: Maybe? I mean, yeah, I need to make a bigger

480
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 1: effort and.

481
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 2: Be like okay, like, let's every second Monday, let's go

482
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: out to dinner.

483
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: And I told her And I told her, She's like,

484
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: are you happy with the state of your relationship? I said,

485
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 1: I'm fine with it. And I said, but if my

486
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: dad were to die today, would I be Would I

487
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: have regrets about the state of our relationship? Absolutely? And

488
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: she's like, if you can say that, then you need

489
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: to do work. Yeah, like a period. I mean there's

490
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:05,959
Speaker 1: And I was like, but I feel like I can

491
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 1: say that about Addy.

492
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. But that's taking it so deep. Wow, Eric,

493
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 2: you know I'm deep.

494
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 1: But because I think about death a lot, and do

495
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: you I do, Yeah, not in like a negative way,

496
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: but I think about like the people in my life

497
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 1: not being here one day and when how that would

498
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: make me feel, and how I deal with that and

499
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 1: how I navigate my relationships in that way. Well, I

500
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: guess that's healthy because it's true we're all going to

501
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,400
Speaker 1: die one day, because that's really like when it comes,

502
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: that's when someone dies. That's when you fucking everything that

503
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: you've held so tightly too doesn't matter anymore. Like it

504
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 1: won't matter to me that my dad wasn't around. It's

505
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: going to matter to me. What did I do after

506
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: that to make it better? You know, like I can't

507
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: take back those years. I can't take back who he

508
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,400
Speaker 1: was when he was in his early twenties as a

509
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 1: pro athlete that you know, his friends didn't want him

510
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: to have kids. He was just being a womanizer. Like,

511
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: I can't do anything about that, right, So I do

512
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,719
Speaker 1: need to. I feel like I realized that I do.

513
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 1: You're right, I need to make a big effort to

514
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 1: hang out with him. I think I think I've gotten

515
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: to the point it's a habit now where I'm just like, well,

516
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna make an effort, I'm not. And

517
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: it's not even in a negative way. It's just like

518
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: it is what it is, right, you know. So that happened,

519
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: and then I also ended my dating situation. It's with

520
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: happy Bay. I feel like this is like the fourth

521
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: time you've said that. No, but like really ended it

522
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: when you Bay, but you have said I don't think

523
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: I've said it on the podcast, but I said we

524
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 1: should just like yeah, but then we didn't really and

525
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: we're still telling each other we love each other and

526
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 1: dah dah da da dah. And I just had to

527
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: like really lay realize that, like I, I've been treating

528
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: him like my boyfriend when he's not my boyfriend. Why

529
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 1: do I do that? Why would he ever want to

530
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: be my boyfriend if I'm already giving him boyfriend privileges.

531
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: And that's what women do, not all women, but I

532
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 1: do because I'm a nurturer, you know. I want you

533
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 1: to feel loved. I want to give you my love.

534
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: I want to spend all my time with you. I

535
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: don't like playing games. I'm not good at them. I

536
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: can do it for like a few days, and then

537
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck this, Well, we're all or nothing. You know,

538
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: when you like someone, it's.

539
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 2: Easy to be infatuated and go all out and want

540
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: to show like your peacock feathers, like look at these

541
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 2: dance moves, look at these.

542
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 1: Meal I can't cook, you know, So I get it.

543
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: I was with some when we discussed what we might

544
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 2: be talking about today, as with some guys, and I

545
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:27,199
Speaker 2: brought this up.

546
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I like follow it all the way, but.

547
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 2: Basically, yeah, why initiate a conversation if anything seriousness, if

548
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,479
Speaker 2: you're comfortable.

549
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 1: Wait, what do you mean? Oh? Why why why make girls,

550
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: I was asking.

551
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 2: How often do you as how do you how often

552
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 2: like if a woman doesn't bring up the conversation, how

553
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: often have you brought it up?

554
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 1: Like, hey, what are we doing here?

555
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: Like when you really fuck with a woman, does it

556
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 2: inevitably come up in your mind?

557
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: Or is that something that you write it out? You

558
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 1: write it out or you wait for the woman to

559
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: bring it up.

560
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I asked them, because because I've been

561
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 2: victim of like not being in relationships because I'm so

562
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 2: cool and I don't care and I'm not having that

563
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: conversation because it doesn't matter to me. And I also

564
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 2: feel like it's like a conversation a man should initiate

565
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 2: if you want, like I want you to be in

566
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: a space where you're like, oh, I value you, I

567
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 2: want to be with you, like I let's explore like

568
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 2: who we are in each other's lives. I would like

569
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 2: a man to initiate that conversation. Nine times out of ten,

570
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 2: these niggas don't. But that's ideal, But I just feel like,

571
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 2: the fuck what was I saying?

572
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 1: I said that, Oh they said that they don't do that.

573
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So one of the guys at the table

574
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 2: he was forty six. He had been married for I

575
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 2: think seventeen years. He said, he's only done that twice

576
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,360
Speaker 2: in his life, once with his first wife and now

577
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 2: once with the woman he's with now. It took him,

578
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 2: he said, he got bamboozled the first time by his

579
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 2: first wife, his kid's mom. Then they have good he said,

580
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 2: we have a good relationship. I paid for her and

581
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 2: her new husband's reception, Like we just came from dinner.

582
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: He's like, the second how does that make the husband feel?

583
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: I don't know.

584
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 2: I would assume here should be thrilled. And this is

585
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 2: the second one, he said. It took me four years.

586
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: To They were dating just casually, he.

587
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,199
Speaker 2: Said, but she was doing all the right ship And

588
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 2: he said, I just would I refuse to get bamboozled again.

589
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 2: So he did have it. He did do it again,

590
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 2: but it took him four years. Well did was she allus?

591
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 2: Was she under the impression they we already boyfriend and girlfriend?

592
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 4: Like no talking about a proposal or proposal? See that's

593
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 4: what I said. Four years I said, she having sex

594
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: with other people?

595
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 2: He said, even if she wasn't, I assumed that she

596
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 2: was because I was. I was so tainted by the

597
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 2: first situation.

598
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: So that's why. Well maybe they were farther along in

599
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: their life too, where they don't want any kids, marriage

600
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: isn't that important, so that they can not they can

601
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: navigate in that space more, whereas me, I want, I want,

602
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: maybe want another kid, and I you know, it's just

603
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: I mean, and you know, I talked to Happy Bay

604
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 1: and I told him, like we actually had lunch, you know,

605
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 1: after I told him that, like we really we can't date,

606
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: we're not intimate. It's just friendship, and like I need space.

607
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: We did have lunch, and I told him, like, you know,

608
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: I didn't end it with you because I wanted you to,

609
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: because I want you to be my boyfriend. Like it

610
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: was like this isn't going anywhere. Are you my boyfriend?

611
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: And he was like, you did it. That's not why

612
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: you that's not why. That's not the reason. And I know,

613
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: like the black and white reason that's probably very black

614
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: and white for men, Like it's like, well, she must

615
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: have endered it because we're not. No, it's because I

616
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: don't actually know where we're going, Like yeah, I don't

617
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: know that we even want the same thing. Yeah, Like

618
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: it's like, are we going like, are we heading that

619
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: direction or are we just like enjoying each other's company indefinitely,

620
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: because like, for me, like I'm not really good at

621
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 1: enjoying someone's company and being saying I love you and

622
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: then it being casual, because that's what we were doing.

623
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: We were saying I love you, I'm in love with you.

624
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: We had very like intense moments of like people have

625
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: had to. We've shared some beautiful moments that I'm so

626
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: grateful for, but it's confusing to my heart and my body,

627
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 1: and my body kept telling me like, this doesn't feel good.

628
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 1: Why do you keep doing this? Why could you?

629
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 2: Felt like I was in limbell that he could be

630
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 2: sharing those same intimates with someone else.

631
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: I felt triggered because I've never felt safe in a relationship.

632
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: I've never felt safe emotionally, I've never felt safe physically

633
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: my body like, and being in an open dating relationship

634
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: doesn't feel safe, Like this doesn't feel like safety to me.

635
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like security. And it's not that I

636
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: and I told him, I was like, I'm not that

637
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: I want to possess you, because I don't. It's just

638
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: that I need to know that like we're building something

639
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: sacred that's going somewhere at some point. He constantly was

640
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 1: so adamant about telling me I need my freedom, I

641
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: need my freedom. I need me to the point where

642
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, nigga, then why are you then why

643
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: are we doing this? Like, go have your freedom? Am

644
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: I in hinging on your freedom? Don't think so? It

645
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: just doesn't seem like we were in line, And I

646
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 1: just felt like I was. It was just taking up

647
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: a lot of space in my life.

648
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: So you're giving him girlfriend treatment. He wasn't giving you

649
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 2: boyfriend treatment.

650
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I was driving. You felt like you were getting

651
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 1: a short end of this stick kind of yeah. And

652
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: and it's really my fault because he told me what

653
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: he was capable of, you know, and and you saw

654
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 1: and I saw it, and he showed me over and

655
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: over and over again. It was me like wanting to

656
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, well I can handle this. Maybe this

657
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 1: is what I need. This is what I need, but

658
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: I don't know how to give it that. I don't

659
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: know how to give that way. I'm like, well, do

660
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 1: you do you want to? You want someone who's just

661
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: going to show up as in.

662
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: Like with the same amount of energy and the same

663
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 2: amount or didn't want to be a boyfriend or someone

664
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 2: who eventually wants to be in a relationship.

665
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: And eventually I just look like, for there's things that

666
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:53,719
Speaker 1: he had he like we're we're seriously dating. There's things

667
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: that he hasn't done for me that are important to

668
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 1: me that I can't expect to be done just because

669
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: we become boyfriend and girlfriend, Like just because okay, now

670
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: we're boyfriend and girlfriend. So now all those things that

671
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: like you didn't do before, now you're gonna start doing, right,

672
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 1: Like no, that's how you get fucking disappointed, right, and

673
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: then you're like what the fuck? So like I just

674
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: had to understand who meet him where he is right now,

675
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: and this is who you are and accept and accept

676
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,479
Speaker 1: that and that that was really hard because like I

677
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: could still be dating him right now, I could still

678
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: be like doing this thing, but like you know, I

679
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: had to, like and that's what I was saying, Like

680
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: I felt good about the other day setting boundaries. I

681
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 1: really had to set a serious boundary for myself and

682
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: be like this doesn't feel good. Stop it. Stop normalizing

683
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: shit that is not normal for your for your who

684
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: you are in your core, Stop denying who you are

685
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: on your core because you want to be this free

686
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: open I don't care, and it's it's not like you

687
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: can't be It's not that you're not like that in

688
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: some ways, but you also know what feels good to

689
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: you and stop judging yourself for that and making you

690
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: feel like, well, maybe it only feels good to me

691
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: because you know daddy is well, well, well it's okay.

692
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: I think it's okay.

693
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 2: Challenge yourself and be like, you know, why am I

694
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 2: feeling this way? But I think it's also acknowledged, like oh,

695
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 2: because maybe this person's not giving me what I deserve

696
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 2: and that's why it doesn't feel good.

697
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: And I think I'm so proud of you.

698
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 2: That's a big deal because the more you do that,

699
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 2: the easier it will become, the more like the quicker

700
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: will be won't be nine months later and you're life

701
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 2: right because so this is also I know, you know,

702
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: like a huge, a huge I think, like, uh thing

703
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 2: I keep hearing a lot and a lot of my

704
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 2: friends like theme, and a lot of my friends who

705
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: are in relationships, are in marriages is issues like deal

706
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: breaking issues in their marriage and my own my first

707
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 2: questions always was that present in the beginning, and all

708
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 2: of them say yes, every single I can't think of

709
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: one situation like no, this is how it's always been.

710
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: And I see how much we fuck ourselves wanting something

711
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 2: to be something something that it's not, or you think

712
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 2: you can work on it, work on it, and not

713
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 2: being you know, aligned with your five unbreakables, frozen five

714
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 2: for your frozen five, because I don't want to waste

715
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: two years shit I don't know, six months dealing with

716
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 2: somebody who may they have all these other qualities, but

717
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 2: this one quality I can change. I know they'll change,

718
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 2: because that shit doesn't change. And then you've married, you've

719
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: had kids, you've bought houses, and you're all intertwined and

720
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 2: it seems impossible to move forward and move on. But

721
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 2: because you've lied to yourself, and if we can be

722
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 2: more in tune with what doesn't feel.

723
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 1: Good, then we could cut a lot of that bullshit out.

724
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: I feel like for me, I know, my body literally

725
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: tells me every time, and I constantly reject it. And

726
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 1: when I don't reject it, it flows so much better.

727
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: But it's sometimes not in line with what my brain

728
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: wants or what my mind I think my mind wants

729
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: and what I think I need or what I can tolerate,

730
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: and it's like no, So like setting that boundary was

731
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: really totally based out of my body, because my body

732
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: and like the way I feel, have not been feeling good.

733
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: Every time I think about that person. It's not filled

734
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: with joy like the way it was and uncertain. I

735
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: have to acknowledge it and stop denying it, and I

736
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: feel better about it, and I just hope hopefully my

737
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: next situation or whatever that comes, I just know I

738
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 1: can't be giving these niggas fucking boyfriend privileges when you're not.

739
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,240
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel good to me, like that would feel great,

740
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 1: like we've worked towards something and now like, well, I

741
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: think what it does is it creates an illusion. When

742
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 1: you start treating someone like they're your man. It's fun.

743
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: It's like playing house, you know, it is like playing Yeah,

744
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,400
Speaker 1: it's like it's so sick. It's sick. It's like it

745
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 1: really is like playing house.

746
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 2: And so you create this illusion like I'm in love,

747
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 2: I love people having sex, I'm cooking breakfast.

748
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: Hey baby, i'm massaging you. We're having sex without a condom.

749
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: And then you leave and then you go home and

750
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,439
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh my god, when is he gonna

751
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: call me again? Is he calling me? Oh my god,

752
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: it's been like two days. Hasn't called you this? But

753
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: I made you breakfast and I fucking we like kissed

754
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 1: in the rain and shit, like you know, it's just

755
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: like oh, anyway, I know right, kissed in the rain.

756
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: It's like a real thing. Like remember that time we

757
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: were holding hands in the rain and you told me.

758
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 2: We have that movie moment, don't watch movies moment. I'm

759
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: so happy I'm not the only psycho.

760
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:26,360
Speaker 1: It's not psycho.

761
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 2: It's real because literally I was like holding's hand in

762
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 2: the rain, I love you, and I was like, this

763
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 2: is us, this moment, it's us forever to break out

764
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 2: in song. Anyway, we need to work on our sanity.

765
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I'm glad I'm making progress, but I'm

766
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:50,479
Speaker 1: one step forward like two steps back. Yes, yes, that's

767
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: such a thing.

768
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: And I really had to reflect on that this year

769
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 2: because I was like, I thought I was making so

770
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 2: much progress, but no, I don't anymore. I feel like

771
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: I'm still like I didn't have sex for six months.

772
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 1: You are, you are though you are, and you can

773
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 1: start whenever again. Whenever you want. You know what I mean?

774
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: It's like no, but I just mean like, I don't

775
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: mean sex, I don't mean in anything. Yeah, I know. Okay,

776
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 1: so obviously our life's kind of in shambles right now,

777
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 1: but someone wants our advice something. Not sure why, let's

778
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 1: read it.

779
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 2: My kid's dad and I broke up a couple of

780
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 2: years ago. I have absolutely no feelings for him, and

781
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 2: we don't talk too much. We are in a good

782
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 2: place for the most part. However, he still does secretive,

783
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 2: shady shit without telling me. While I have no cares

784
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 2: about him, I do care what goes on when he

785
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 2: has my daughters. Sometimes he will have them shut off

786
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 2: their phones. He denies it so I can't see where

787
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 2: they're at and other similar stuff. I don't know if

788
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 2: he's doing this just to aggravate me, but I really

789
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 2: dislike how he blatantly lies right to my face. So

790
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 2: I just found out, not by him, of course, that

791
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 2: he moved in with the girl, and my daughters already know,

792
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 2: and my daughters already know sorry her, and have been

793
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: spending time there. Okay, I knew this day would come,

794
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 2: but he chose not to mention it. He was introducing

795
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,479
Speaker 2: my daughters to a whole new person. It gets under

796
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,919
Speaker 2: my skin even more because he did this years ago

797
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 2: when my kids were smaller and had a whole other

798
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 2: baby without me knowing. My kids were too small to

799
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 2: even be able to tell me, so you can understand

800
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 2: my frustration. So I plan on meeting up with this

801
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 2: girl and learning more about her as she is going

802
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 2: to be around my kids. I've never had to deal

803
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 2: with this, and I'm clueless on where to meet. Any

804
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 2: advice on how to do this in a non aggressive way.

805
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: Laugh out loud. It's not the other girl's fault. It's

806
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: your baby daddy's fault that he didn't communicate this. So

807
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: you have to go in meeting her not mad at her, right,

808
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: don't you agree? I agree? I think the more copeesthetic,

809
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: the better you know.

810
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 2: You need to actually get to know her, and that

811
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 2: requires being chill.

812
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: Maybe meet in a made at a coffee shop or something,

813
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: or at your house is too no, it needs to

814
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: be an even playing field so they both feel comfortable.

815
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about well, firstly the

816
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: baby daddy issue, Like, I'm not really sure how to

817
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 1: resolve that. Obviously he lies and it can't be honest,

818
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: I'm not sure there's anything you can actually do about that.

819
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: All you're really only resource now or I think best

820
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: option is trying to meet with this girl, see how

821
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: she is. If she seems cool, then try to build

822
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 1: a good rapport with her, because she could be an

823
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: ally to you. Actually, I feel like, you know, obviously

824
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: her loyalty is going to be to your baby daddy.

825
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 1: But if women, hopefully, I think at the root of us,

826
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 1: we like, you know, have a connection and like a sisterhood,

827
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: and that if she's gonna be spending time with your kids,

828
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:49,360
Speaker 1: if she's a good person, like you know, hopefully.

829
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like anybody should be able to understand.

830
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 2: You have my greatest prize possession. I need to know

831
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 2: who you are. I want us to have a relationship

832
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 2: because it's important to me because you're going to be

833
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 2: around have a relationship with Mike kids obviously if you

834
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: guys are living together, and I think it's important that

835
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 2: you let your baby daddy know that, Like, there's really

836
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: no reason to hide anything from me.

837
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: I'm not here to like, maybe he needs to know

838
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 1: I'm not I don't want you, I.

839
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: Don't care and and you should tell him like if

840
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 2: the lies really trigger me, and you know why, I mean,

841
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 2: obviously you had another baby. Like I would just prefer

842
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 2: from here on out, like let's just co parent from

843
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: an honest place because we're just friends and I don't

844
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 2: really give a fuck, So just you could keep it

845
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 2: real with me. You know, maybe it just comes to

846
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 2: just being mature and like the homie approach.

847
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, but try not to be a bitch to the babe,

848
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: to the girl unless she's a bitch and then in

849
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: that case, beat your ass. No, but yeah, what she

850
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 1: is a bitch? That's she'll have to ride in again

851
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: because I got to think about that one and I we're

852
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: running out of time. Okay, Well, anyway, thank you guys

853
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: for tuning in. We are having a meet up August

854
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 1: tenth at the Hollywood f for Cemetery again because y'all, bitches,

855
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,240
Speaker 1: we're scared of the Exorcist, so we picked a better

856
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: movie and it's bomb. It is Boys in the Hood

857
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: by John Singleton our IP So make sure you buy

858
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: your tickets at Sinnespia dot com asap and check out

859
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,439
Speaker 1: our evite and rs VP so we know you're coming

860
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 1: and we can reserve a space for you. Twest. Love

861
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: is DJ DJ Pooh, We're dressing nineties. We have Black

862
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: Girl Bravado podcast coming and hang out Jessica Urth Girl,

863
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: Jessica Rows. Everybody's going to be there. Everyone's going to

864
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: be there. Also, bring tequila. Also bring food. Also it's

865
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: a picnic, so you can just picnic and drink wine

866
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 1: and it's a pot luck and hopefully ice Cube comes out.

867
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm really trying to manifest ice cbe coming out.

868
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and shout out to people who came last weekend

869
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 2: because we.

870
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 1: Had a Yeah, we had a really good time and

871
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 1: the Exorcist is still fucking scary it is. Anyway, Well,

872
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: good bye Juesday.

873
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 3: You know what love is, but I swear I've never

874
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 3: seen it in your life. Oh I swear I've never

875
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 3: seen it in your life.

876
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: Oh h m hmm.

877
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: I swear I've never seen it in your life.