WEBVTT - Confrontation Doesn't Mean Conflict 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:09.760 Hey, hey, hey. 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:09.760 We're back. 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:18.320 We're round and Bishop and musition, edition and ambition. 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:21.320 We need to get our breaks checked. We're a little 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:25.400 squeaky today. I'm here, tell me about a baby. What's 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:27.720 going on, honey, But nothing. 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:29.960 It's just the last few days, you know, we've been, 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:32.879 you know, doing this partnership with my friend Terry, with 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:36.360 her her Friday masterclass. Are investing today's I mean, by 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:38.000 the time, y'all hear this is too late, but. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:40.360 Y'all because you know how those partnerships can be. 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:44.920 Yeah, no's we know, you know, but it's just, you know, 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:47.320 it's just been a lot of work and then low 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:47.880 key hockey. 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:48.760 I'm sure they might listen. 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:52.120 My my what's called a company reached out to me 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:56.639 today about like another book. Everybody like, yeah, by publisher, 0:00:56.680 --> 0:00:59.720 and I'm like, go sit down up with the world. 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:01.280 Book came out in an ocean book. 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.480 I'm not doing nobody's book because they could hopefully they 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:05.840 could just could count as a notice. 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:07.679 You know, I can write the whole thing. I'd be 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:09.240 a ghost writer for you. 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:11.240 No, because it's not the writing of the book part 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:14.000 is the easiest part, girl, It's the marketing part that's 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:16.080 why they don't tell you, and so like they're like, ooh, 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:19.440 even they were asking because oftentimes you'll have a book 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.440 when it's a hardcover, you know, you eventually make a 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.319 transition into softcover. So that's a conversation they want to have. 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:26.240 But truthfully, you only do that when the book sales 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.520 are waiting. But like, honestly, we just sold eight hundred 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:30.520 copies last week, like nine hundred a week before twenty 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:31.280 five hundred a week. 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:34.360 You sold eight eight hundred copies last week. 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:37.720 Oh oh yeah, so we're still selling so amazing. You're 0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:40.479 selling more than like a first like most author sell. 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:42.360 So I'm just like. 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.360 Usually I'm just like, I don't know that it's ready 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:46.039 for paperback, because usually you do that as like to 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:47.080 reinvigorate the book. 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.400 I didn't know that. I mean I always imagine like 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:51.120 a year after a book comes out, but yours has 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:53.560 been out for well you did the worst book, but 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:56.000 yeah three years now. It's like, yeah, well usually they 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:59.240 do the paperbacks are more affordable, yes, So for that, 0:01:59.560 --> 0:01:59.840 you know. 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:02.720 They usually say that the reason why is because that's 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.320 why they like to bring it out, because they're like, oh, 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.160 people are not buying it. Maybe it's the price, but 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.320 it's like, well, that's how true. It's it's hell pretty 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:11.040 steady in about thousand sales give or take a week. 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.720 And so I'm just kind of like, but also if 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:15.760 you do a paperback, that's another push. 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:19.320 I'm not I'm yeah. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:20.920 The marketing required. 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:21.680 I don't have. 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:22.160 It in me. 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:23.680 You got other stuff to do. 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:25.639 Yeah, So I'm just like, we just try to save 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:27.840 this company job like y'all know, I'm you. 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:29.400 Know, we are this is the year. I mean, we 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:34.080 are stable. Yeah yeah, But I'm just like, so just 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:36.560 all the things. I mean, there's a lot of changes happening, 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:39.760 but good changes. I feel good about it. It's just 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:43.960 a little overwhelming. Oh yea, let me do that one. 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:47.360 Need that, you know what, just a nice sometime. 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:52.120 Yeah, do the nose reach up to the sky and 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.520 let that ship go. Yes. 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:56.880 Well, all in all, things are going really well. It's 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:58.000 just a lot of work. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.399 Breathe, baby, breathe, that's all I can do. I don't 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:06.480 know whether it's the weather, my meds like, it's probably 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:08.359 the weather in the fact that I've been I moved 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:10.640 so much this week and I did so much activity, 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:15.359 but I just was really feeling I'm feeling optimistic. I'm 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:19.160 finally getting through the fog. And just of the first 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:22.839 the first you know, quarter of twenty twenty four kicked 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.240 my ace. But yeah, things are feeling good. Mental health 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:30.720 check is is great. And if one of the things 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:33.560 that brought me so much doy is that I evicted 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:39.080 my boys from my bathtub, I took it back. It's 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:42.200 like they have a whole bathroom upstairs that's just collecting dust. 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.040 You know. It's like the bathroom where my husband will 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:48.400 go when he wants to, you know, like flow up. 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:52.760 That's all it is. You know, it's like the it's 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.640 the clean dust and poop. Uh Ever, anyway, well, if 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.160 you're lucky, you have a poop bathroom. Yeah. And our 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.560 bathtub has really become like the kids. It has everything 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:02.880 we have, Like I wanted to make the Battip funds. 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:06.200 We have like a whole march, like a marble run 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.640 for water, suction cup to the wall, and all these 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:10.400 toys and no om my got so many monster trucks 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:13.560 blah blah blah. But I just unsuction cupped everything. I said, 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:15.960 I said, Rio, we're filling up a big tub. You 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:18.360 got to pack a box. We got to go, and 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:20.360 he actually got excited because he got to choose where 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:23.040 stuff went on the wall in the new bathroom. And 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:26.240 his new shower has a detachable shower head, so you 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:31.560 know that's going to be a mess, but small baby steps. 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:35.599 We planted some flowers yesterday. There was park play, lots 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:39.480 of walking. I really wanted to call you this morning 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:40.720 and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, save it 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:45.479 for the podcast. What happened, Well, I had like this 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:50.520 interesting interaction with a dad at Rio's pre k, and 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.960 I was really feeling like, anyway, I'll tell you what 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:55.440 it is, because I want to get your tank on it. 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.680 My husband was like, he's like, girl, run away. This 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.400 feels very He's like, don't catfish. Just feels very weird. 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.640 But so anyway, dropping Rio off today at his pre 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:07.800 k and you always see the other parents. We're at 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:09.280 the door of shame where you have to go if 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.200 you come in after nine, which we do every day, 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:13.560 and you got to call and they gotta be like, okay, 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:16.920 we're coming anyway. So him and his daughter were there. 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:18.839 I was the daughter was so cute. I usually just 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:20.680 have a big smile whenever I see the kids and 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:22.720 they're just like that lady with the hair always smiles 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.720 at me, so she was whatever we were vibing. I 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:27.000 go to the back to the car. I got the 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:29.120 baby in the car and I kind of hear him 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:31.320 approaching me sort of. And I get in the car 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:33.400 and I see him and he's looking at me like, oh, 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.040 never mind, and I just rolled the window down. I 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.599 was like, oh no, what is it. And he just 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.080 walked up and it's the strangest thing. It's a black guy. 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:43.200 He's like, my name is we'll call him Terrence. So 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:47.640 my name is Terrence. And he just looks so like down, 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:49.919 just down, and he said, I see you're wearing a 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.800 wedding ring. And I was like, oh my god, what 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:57.159 is he gonna You know, I'm just like, oh, I 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:59.560 didn't look like this, and I'm just saying I was 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:04.320 like wow anyway, But he was like, I'm really struggling 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.839 in my marriage. I wanted to know what he's like. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:13.279 This miserable, this is it's it's making me the worst 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.559 version of myself. I can't sleep at night. He seemed 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:18.800 it was very sincere, and he was like opening up, 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:20.719 but at the same time, I'm thinking, to me, like 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:23.279 a complete stranger, just based on the fact that I 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:26.200 have a wedding ring on. And I was like, and 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.080 you know, I think I see his eyes kind of 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:31.640 getting misty. And I if it had been someone that 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.320 I even a little bit knew, what I would have 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:34.800 done is get out the car, give him a hug, 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:36.800 just offer, like you need a hug. But I had that, 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.360 and I was like, hmm, but I did. I showed 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:43.440 him the attached book that you and I, you know, 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:46.440 I have talked about, and I told him like, it 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.360 sounds like maybe talking to a therapist, because he had 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.880 like a he had a Caribbean accent, maybe Jamaican. And 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:55.440 he said that he was so desperate to just talk 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:58.880 to somebody because he kind of is isolated in his 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.520 family and friendsh they all know each other and stuff. 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:03.279 And he's like, I don't have anyone I can talk 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:07.440 to who's not a family member or someone who knows 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:11.480 us already. And anyway, I was like, better help use 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:15.520 Cobron ambition for ten percent. I didn't say that, but 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:17.680 I was like, you know, therapy would be great just 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:21.000 for you, and it was. Yeah, it was just so 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:24.720 bizarre and part of me is like I wish, you know, 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:28.240 why don't we just chat to people sometimes if you're 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.000 having a hard time, you know. I think in that moment, 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.200 he was probably just desperate, yeah, for someone to just 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.480 hear him and reaching out for help. And I hope 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:40.840 he does see a therapist. But it left me feeling 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:43.880 like just really sorry for him, really sad for him, 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:48.200 but also like, oh, that was a human interaction that 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:51.000 I don't get to have all the time. But then 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.240 Enrique said it was probably a whole like bait and 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:56.640 switch thing, and like, I don't know what to think 0:07:56.680 --> 0:07:58.520 about it. If I see him again, I don't know 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:00.720 what to do. I'm gonna see him again, and we're 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:04.320 always the door of shame together. It's one of two things. 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.920 He was trying to do, a pre holler, you know, 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:10.760 like hey, I see what you're I'm just said, let 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.120 me see can I be toodled in your bosom? 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.480 Let's see how she can both co miserate? 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.160 Yes, right, So IT'SI the pre holler, like let me 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.720 test the waters or this is somebody really that was 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:23.160 like really struggling, And. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.240 Sometimes it's like I don't know. 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:27.640 I mean, I don't know if you've ever been in 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:31.520 a position where the emotion is so to the top 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:35.040 that you know, all like kids just cry, you know, 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:37.120 like you know, I'm sad. You know, Rio is gonna 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:38.800 be like I'm gonna drop down to get my egolong, 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.800 I'm crying and whatever. In the moment I feel it, 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:42.280 but after the you're like, I'm gonna wait till I 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:45.840 get to my car, and sometimes repress. It is so 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.320 there I can remember distinctly, like, for example, I went 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:50.720 to the DMV after Jerrell passed away. You have thirty 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:52.839 days to switch the card of their name so you 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:54.120 can get insurance or whatever. 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:56.360 And it was like day twenty eight and. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:57.800 I go to the DMV and they're like, you know, 0:08:58.040 --> 0:08:59.679 you know how it is when you at the one. 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.400 I'm already stressed, just thinking, yeah, that interaction, but especially 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:04.000 the Jersey one. 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:05.880 I was like, oh, yeah, I'm trying to hold it together, 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.559 you know, I'm hean you to switch the car and 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.120 my husband then, you know, and she's like why, and 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:16.000 I just said he died and just she actually came 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:16.680 out of her. 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.520 Boot around and gave me up because I you know. 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:19.800 What I mean. 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:21.680 So I'm just saying that sometimes it could be that 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:24.679 he was so full of like I am at my 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:27.640 wits end. I don't have any She seemed like nice, 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:31.400 probably just because you smiled and you it's like I 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:32.480 need something, you. 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:33.000 Know what I mean. 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:35.079 And so that's what it sounds like. I mean, I'm 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.680 more inclined to think that. But men, I always you know, 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:38.839 men are up to shananigans. 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.559 I'm going to choose to be on that. I want 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:42.720 to choose to that side. 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.480 Yeah, because it sounds like and it's just I'm so 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:46.600 glad that you gave him the book. 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:47.320 I'm so glad. 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:52.960 I was gonna say, I hope you suggested therapy. 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:52.720 Yeah, because I mean, obviously it's nothing. I mean, I 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.720 hadn't have my coffee yet. I was like, that's the 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:56.320 first thing I said to him. When he got finished. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:00.240 I was like, I have not even had any coffee yet. 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.600 But I'm gonna do my past because I feel like 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:03.199 you need it. 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.800 Hey, ba fan, We're gonna take a quick break and 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:07.319 we'll be right back. 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:14.840 Yeah. And that's such a beautiful story about the woman 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:19.439 at the dB DMV. I had a recent experience. I 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:20.800 don't know if I told you. When I came back 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.720 from one of my trips to Atlanta for my dad. 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.240 Me and Remy were at the Atlanta airport. Which listen, 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:28.960 y'all talk a lot of shit about Atl's airport. I actually, 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:31.000 I don't know if it's like the emotional connection I 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:33.760 have so many I just love that airport. I think 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:37.040 it's very efficient. I think the train is, you know, 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:40.000 bar none to any other airport I've been in. Getting 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:42.560 you to your gate airports are huge. You ever been 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.760 to Minneapolis. You to walk to FN miles just to 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:48.280 get from the from the check into my gate area, Like, 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:52.840 where's the train, where's my transportation? Anyway? But anyway, so 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:56.600 I get through, I get I had had a rotten 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:00.360 interaction I'll just say rotten with a Delta gate Delta 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.280 agent who was like checking the baby stuff. And by 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.480 the time I got to Now, I have been throughout 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.600 this at airport like many times over the past six months, 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.079 and I always go to the family Assist line and 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.160 just just so happens that this young woman ah and 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.760 I can't remember her name because I'm a piece of garbage, 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:20.400 but she's a door she's a young black woman. She 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.320 works in TSA, but she's studying at Emory to be 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.400 a gynecologist. And I know this about her because I've 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.320 seen her so many times. And anyway, the last time 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.040 I went through, she wasn't my girl because I went 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.120 She's usually there in the morning. I had flown at night, 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:34.560 so I didn't see her. But this time, and you know, 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.480 like when you're really like, I'm trying to hold it 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.680 together as I'm in line, but I'm feeling all these feelings. 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:41.559 It's very early by the time I get to the 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.280 area where they're like, put your thing in a bin. No, 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.320 not that bin, No, take that out. Da da da 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:49.840 da da. Like I started to I was like, you know, 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:52.640 like I was. I was starting to cry. It was happening, 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.640 and I was like there, no, I couldn't wipe anything. 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:58.199 I had the baby. My hands were tied, and the 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:00.679 lady with the bit by the bit was just like 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.400 go ahead, you know, really just trying to give me 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.160 my privacy. But also I'm crying in front of rely strangers. 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.840 But then who was on the other side but my 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:12.520 but my bestie at the Atlanta airport and the Family 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:14.920 Assist line, and she just saw me. I saw her, 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:16.920 and she says, I got a chair for you right here. 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.920 What's going on? I've never seen you this way though. 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.000 She talked to me like we had been friends since childhood, 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.280 and I was and I just sat in that chair. 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:27.800 She gave me a hug, and she just let me 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:32.160 sat and collect me sit and collecting myself, and it 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:34.160 just didn't matter what anyone else thought about me in 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.480 that moment. But and just if you're you know, and 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.240 that's that's such a that's happened to me for sure. Yeah, 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.960 that moment comes to mind. And if you've been the 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:44.840 one who needed that kind of person, or you've been 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:48.719 that person for someone, for the random person struggling, it's 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:49.439 a beautiful thing. 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:51.720 So thinks it's just to like reach out and just 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:53.400 like because you know, like at the end of the day, 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:56.079 we're all humans, and you know, like I mean, there 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:57.640 has been a time or two where I've seen, like, 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:00.719 especially some young woman crying, and I'm like, you know, 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.559 I was at the park door, my park walk. It 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.160 was a young Latino woman. She was just like sitting 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.240 on this park bench. She's like eighteen nineteen. I think 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:11.800 she had a suitcase. She was like hysterically crying. So 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.240 I walked past her. Then I stopped and I was like, 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:15.839 I feel like I can't just leave this young woman 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.480 here crying, and so I said, are you okay? But 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:21.840 I realized she didn't speak any English, So I was like, lord, 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:22.959 what is my broken Spanish? 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:26.560 I was like, are you the you know tennis? You know? 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.199 Yeah, she was like, because I was nervous. My first mind, 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.679 I thought to myself, she's a beautiful young girl. And 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:35.480 I thought to myself, a beautiful young girl crying in 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.360 the park. I don't want some man to come take 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.720 advantage of her, you know. I'm I sat with her 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:41.920 for a little while, with my broken Spanish to try 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:42.640 to figure out what's happening. 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:44.520 She didn't really share. I just sat with her for 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:45.520 a little while to see. 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:46.080 Do you need a ride? 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:48.280 Do you need because you just hope that somebody will 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.280 be there, you know, when you need to like, you know. 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.959 But yeah, So I'm just glad that he, at least 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.959 for a moment, had a reprieve and now you weren't like. 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.280 Get away from me stranger's anger, because that would have 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:03.360 been really disheartening way sometimes as a woman. But in 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.480 the context, I just saw him with the daughter. She's 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:07.760 very cute, it's very well cared for. You know, it 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.480 had been if it had been two am at the park, 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.160 probably a different story. Also, why would I be there? 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:16.680 Yeah, but it's true. People with kids always get like, 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:18.400 that's what they tell kids. It's like the number one 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:18.920 they think. 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:19.240 They say. 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:22.600 They're like, if you are lost or whatever, look for 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:26.920 a mom with a kid, because because the likelihood is 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:29.720 that you're gonna mama bay of him. Come sit next 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.880 to you, baby, because we're gonna find your mama. We're 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.280 gonna you know, like that that you're probably safest with 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.160 a mom with I mean, of course, you can never 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:41.280 never know for sure, but you're probably safest with the mom. 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:45.320 Having lived in the suburbs for a while, I will say, 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.800 I think there's some moms who are waiting to be 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:53.560 that hero, Like they can't wait. It's like they're just 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:56.200 looking for lost kids, but they want to find them. 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.880 I don't know, is just thought. But yeah, So what 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:05.360 what else is going on in the world? Businesses really good. 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:09.880 I have been making really hard business decisions. So I 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:13.040 so here is an unlock and maybe this will help 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:16.520 somebody with business or their career or whatever. I realized 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.640 I was carrying around this this thought process that for 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.200 the first time I realized that's not true, like that 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:25.800 I believe that in order for you to have I'm 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:28.400 trying to think that conflict not conflict. What was the 0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:34.280 word I use that confrontation. I don't know how I 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:36.840 had like a perfect phrase for it, but basically that 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:41.280 when you had to confront someone that it had to 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:42.200 have conflict. 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:44.560 I mean like I might say. 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.920 Like, you know, Mandy, hey, you hurt my feelings, but 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.360 it always had to be like, Mandy, you really hurt 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:53.240 my feelings. I didn't like that because sometimes confrontation and 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:54.960 I don't know if confrontation is the right world, because 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:57.320 I feel like inherently in confrontation there's this kind of 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:01.320 conflict baked in. But then in a hard conversation had 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.280 to be had that there always had to kind of 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.840 like bueness underlying of negativity, you know, not that you're 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:10.080 yelling or screaming, but like it couldn't be had softly, 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.280 or or like it couldn't be had almost joyfully. 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.760 Or you know, they would be like really a gress 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.760 and yes, and so be really defensive. 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:21.160 And so it always made me say I didn't want 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:22.680 to do it because I was like, oh my gosh, 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:23.000 I don't. 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:23.720 I don't want. 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.080 And so most recently I've been having to have in 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:30.680 business some really hard conversations and and they've all been 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:35.360 someone like a friend of mine was like, so, for example, 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:37.800 my I have this the guy who cuts my my lawn. 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.640 His name is Louis is super nice. So it's been winter, 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.840 you know, Louis wasn't here. Louis came back and if 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:45.880 you've you've been to my front lawn, Mandy. 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.600 To call it a lawn, why does he cut? You 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:49.240 can't girls. 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.520 So Lewis came and then sent me like this text 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:55.360 like oh one fifty. 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:56.160 I said, oh my god. 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:59.360 So I was really upset because before Lewis used to 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.440 charge me for one cut I mean yes, and I said, 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:04.640 he said for clean up and cut. 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:06.639 So he texted to me, we need roman to get 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:07.960 a lawnmower girl. 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:10.840 So I was really mad. So I'm ranting a raven, 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:12.439 not to Louis but to everybody else. I told my 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.280 because my friend Cabral suggested Louis to me. My other friend, 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:16.520 I was telling everybody. 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:18.240 Like, okay, you believe it, oh lord, And. 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.040 Cabraw was like, well, why not just tell Louis that's 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.320 too much money. You don't want to pay that. And 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.359 I was like, I am, but I'm gonna have to 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:28.000 tell him, hey, you tried it, because in my mind, 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.119 when someone does something to you, there has to be 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.920 this kind of like conflicting conference, because that's how just 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:34.479 how I grew up, that's just how it looks like. 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.560 And so I avoided it, avoided avoided it because Louis 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:39.840 had called me to see can I come clean? Can 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.280 I come cut your grass? I didn't answer. He called me, 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.200 I didn't answer. He ranged the door, but I didn't answer, 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:45.480 and he cut it anyway. So you know, I was 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:47.520 extra piss like you cut it and now. 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:48.199 You try to overcow. 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.680