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Speaker 1: My dad won't claim my ass after the DNA test

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Speaker 1: is positive.

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Speaker 2: What do I doom? Now, it's a tough situation to

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Speaker 2: be in. And you say, Dad, you are a blood

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Speaker 2: of my blood m and thus you must make a

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Speaker 2: blood pack with me now. And then you slit your

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Speaker 2: hand and then you slap your dad's hand. You hold

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Speaker 2: it together, yes, and the blood courses from your arm

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Speaker 2: to your dad's arm, and then you are now Dad

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Speaker 2: and wow, son the lord of the lands. You're the

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Speaker 2: lord of my lands. My lord, my lord, my leege,

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Speaker 2: my leege. That's how they did it back in the

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Speaker 2: ancient times. Yeah. Yeah, blood from king to prince, prince

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Speaker 2: to king. Could we do like a Game of Thrones now?

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Speaker 2: Like a hug? You know, you know Game of Thrones? Bro,

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Speaker 2: I'm deep. I'm season two baby, season two now. Hell?

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Speaker 2: How did you feel about the end of season one? Bro?

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Speaker 2: Not my boin ned dude, Ned got destroyed. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know someone's gonna be like

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Speaker 2: you know, something like that, It's not gonna happen. I

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Speaker 2: was saying that whole time, like there's some thing and

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Speaker 2: the hey gone, it just gets destroyed so quickly. To

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Speaker 2: should have been king. Yeah, should have been king, bro.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe you got beheaded. Dude, neither can I.

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Speaker 2: I'm sad. We're pretty what are you pretty? Upset? Because

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Speaker 2: I was. I was rooting for him.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't think. I thought they were trying to

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Speaker 1: like misdirect me.

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Speaker 2: Like okay, I like, what's gonna happen? I'm like, damn it,

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Speaker 2: you actually did. What the hell? But we have another

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Speaker 2: story that is equally's juicy, equally is tantalized. High stakes

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Speaker 2: producer Riley is it well, well, actually it came from

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Speaker 2: our slash o Kop show. Oh damn, and it's high stakes.

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Speaker 2: Let's go. So shout out to shout out to U

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Speaker 2: B two thousand for submitting the story. You can drop

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Speaker 2: your stories in our slash Okop show, or you can

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Speaker 2: call our number four four zero five eight six' five six.

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Speaker 1: Seven we have a new call in. Line we're going

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Speaker 1: to be playing some of your, voicemails even inviting some

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Speaker 1: of you on the. Show so drop your. Stories we

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Speaker 1: would love to hear. Them let's get into this.

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Speaker 2: One let's get into.

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Speaker 1: It WHEN, i twenty three, female was four years, OLD

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Speaker 1: i had been finally permanently removed from the custody of

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Speaker 1: my biological. Mother they deemed her unfit entirely as.

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Speaker 2: A parent and a. Person, wow dang it really not

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Speaker 2: mincing words as a parent and a. Person that seems

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Speaker 2: like a big. Attack you are unfit as? Human be? Horse, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: yeah you're unfit as a. Human become a.

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Speaker 1: Rock my maternal great grandmother decided to take, custody but

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Speaker 1: had to prove who my father was in order to

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Speaker 1: rule him out as a potential home, option as well

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Speaker 1: as eventually sign away his right should an adoption take. Place,

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Speaker 1: now my bio mother was and still is a bit

55
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Speaker 1: of a. Hoe, Okay opie's. Words so there were three

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Speaker 1: men who were supposedly. Possibilities can we feel.

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Speaker 2: Like she really she really uh mamma meing? This you? Know?

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Speaker 2: Yeah the plotlight Of Mamma mia is that she was

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Speaker 2: just hon about and there's three possible. Dads is that

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Speaker 2: what the song is? About My? Mommy h HERE i go, again?

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Speaker 2: Mom and how COULD i? Resist? Yeah so she's just

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Speaker 2: dropping that dang on that thing everywhere on a, dang

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Speaker 2: a lag on a. Dang. Wow when when you realize

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Speaker 2: the meanings of songs Then, wow the more you, Know Mama,

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Speaker 2: Mia Mama.

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Speaker 1: Mia one option was a limp, Noodle my bile mom

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Speaker 1: looked ugh with love a, NOODLE a limp noodle of a.

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Speaker 2: Man he WASN'T i hope he is is not mincing

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Speaker 2: words of this story at. All he wasn't even An

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Speaker 2: he was more of angel. HAIR i actually. Liked is

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Speaker 2: my favorite kind of. Noodle you put me onto nick.

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Speaker 2: Noodles you had a time In balie was, cool so.

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Speaker 2: GOOD i had a lot of mood on WHEN i

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Speaker 2: was In. VIETNAM i bet so.

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Speaker 1: Good another was my older sister's, dad and the last

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Speaker 1: was my older sister's. Uncle, yeah she was really keeping

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Speaker 1: it in the family, There.

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Speaker 2: Dang, dude he's. Mom yeah get, it, girl got it

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Speaker 2: going on my.

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Speaker 1: Sister my sister's dad wanted it to be. Him his

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Speaker 1: brother kept denying ever hooking up with my bio, mom

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Speaker 1: and my bio dad's family wanted me to be. His

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Speaker 1: it turned out that it was who's who's Your.

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Speaker 2: I'm guessing it's the. Uncle you think it's the guy

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Speaker 2: that's LIKE i never hooked up with her Producer riley

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Speaker 2: guess probably the noodle. Dude it turned out that it

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Speaker 2: was the limp.

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Speaker 1: Noodle god mother had a one night staying with surprise.

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Speaker 2: Shot, HEY i mean for a limp. Noodle he's just shooting, straight,

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Speaker 2: bro you need two. Thousand you gotta submit more stories

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Speaker 2: because your writing is just off of the. Charts oh My.

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Speaker 1: God to add to, this my bio mother didn't have

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Speaker 1: a car at the, time so my great grandmother drove

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Speaker 1: her to hook up with him in the parking lot

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Speaker 1: of his apartment, complex making my great grandmother inadvertently responsible

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Speaker 1: for my.

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Speaker 2: Existence, wait so the great granny is, like, yo let

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Speaker 2: me get your your you know your your noodle. Wet

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Speaker 2: let me let me uh when we promose noodles in

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Speaker 2: some freaking. SOUP i heard you got a hot limp?

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Speaker 2: Noodle you want you want to tweet? It do you

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Speaker 2: want me scribe you over? There and she's like staying

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Speaker 2: in the car while they're hooking up in the back

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Speaker 2: damn loop ear his. Brand he's getting off to it

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Speaker 2: in the driver because just this Mayor Grandma grandma hasn't

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Speaker 2: had a limb noodle like. That there's just. Seventies the

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Speaker 2: noodle might be, limb but it's. Sick. Yeh come, boys real, down.

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Speaker 1: His family saw the resemblance and were so excited to

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Speaker 1: have a new baby in the. Family my great grandmother

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Speaker 1: paid for THE dna test because the limp noodle refused

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Speaker 1: to pay for A dna test for a child that

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Speaker 1: clearly wasn't. HIS i, have unfortunately always looked like a

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Speaker 1: female version of fifteen damn opi loki like sending shots at.

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Speaker 2: Herself. YIKES i remember it so vividly because this woman

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Speaker 2: with dirty blonde hair and A karen cut told me

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Speaker 2: people said that the cotton swab tasted like. Bananas spoiler

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Speaker 2: it does. Not the test came back THAT i was

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Speaker 2: ninety nine point nine.

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Speaker 1: Percent, his Although i'm still holding out for that sweet

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Speaker 1: point one and he's still denied it as a. Fact,

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Speaker 1: bro this limp noodle his his noodle upstairs ain't wait

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Speaker 1: so hot, Either like he's not really putting two together. Here,

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Speaker 1: however since science said, otherwise he immediately signed away his

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Speaker 1: rights to avoid having to pay any child, support which

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Speaker 1: he now has to pay for my. SISTERS i spent

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Speaker 1: years trying to earn the soggy piece of copy papers

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Speaker 1: love before realizing what a sad sack of corroded batteries

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Speaker 1: this guy Was oh my, god just again impeccable writing

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Speaker 1: a sad sack of corroded.

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Speaker 2: Batteries, dude. Yikes Wach so is this the limp noodle

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Speaker 2: the father of the? SISTERS i guess so one night

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Speaker 2: stand pay now a child support which he now has

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Speaker 2: to pay for my. SISTERS i don't, know maybe maybe

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Speaker 2: there was more than a one night. Stant you, know

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Speaker 2: if you're watching, this you should Comment clarien let us. Know,

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Speaker 2: yeah but before THE dna, test WHEN i was a,

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Speaker 2: baby he agreed to babysit me to keep the booty

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Speaker 2: line open on my bio mom and also because his

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Speaker 2: family pressured. Him my bio mom was twenty minutes late

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Speaker 2: picking me, up so he put me outside in my

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Speaker 2: carrier in just a diaper In. January oh my, god what?

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Speaker 2: Wait so they could bang? Inside? No, no, no just

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Speaker 2: like literally like like, imagine you, know someone's, like uh,

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Speaker 2: OH i got to pick something, up and you're, like,

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Speaker 2: Oh i'll just like leave it out in my, side you,

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Speaker 2: know so you could pick it, up but it's a

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Speaker 2: baby In. January, January oh my, god bro really said

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Speaker 2: no head and THEN i can outside for?

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Speaker 1: REAL i know there are people out there who only

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Speaker 1: wish to know who their bio parents. Are AND i

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Speaker 1: feel guilty THAT i know both of, mine but WISH i.

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Speaker 1: Didn't big, yikes big YIKES.

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Speaker 2: O i am so sorry about this corroded battery father. Figure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah and the fact that your limp noodle Junior yeah oh,

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Speaker 2: man key fire rapper name Little oh that's that's, great that's.

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Speaker 2: Great you gotta have a thick noodle to be a little. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: yeah yeah, yeah girls not length if you you know

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Speaker 2: WHAT i? Mean what does one do? Here can you do?

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Speaker 2: Anything keep on keeping, on keep on, swimming and keep

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Speaker 2: that widdle noodle, wiggling keep that keep that, noodle keep

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Speaker 2: that noodle. Limp, yeah that's. Inflexible really all you can.

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Speaker 2: Do but you know what you can, do like Like op,

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Speaker 2: did is submit your stories to us. Again you can

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Speaker 2: drop in AN r slash okop show or hit our

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Speaker 2: new call line four four zero five zero eight six

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Speaker 2: five six. Seven you can leave some stories we might

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Speaker 2: play on the show and we might just invite you.

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Speaker 2: On but thank you all for sending in your. Stories thank.

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Speaker 2: You we love it and we love.

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Speaker 1: You and we'll See you'll see you soon next, time

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Speaker 1: AM i the a hole for not wanting to see

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Speaker 1: my dad's a fair.

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Speaker 2: BABY i, mean how ugly is? It babies are ugly

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Speaker 2: when they're. Born i'm not even. Joking john is not

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Speaker 2: a fan of.

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Speaker 1: Babies they see a baby and he's, like, ill, dude

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Speaker 1: they can be so ugly it's. INSANE i feel, like

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Speaker 1: right out of the, vagien right, right like right, out

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Speaker 1: like kind of. Ugly give, it like you, know maybe

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Speaker 1: like a month they become super, cute so, cute but

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Speaker 1: right out they're like a wrinkly old sack of. Skin

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Speaker 1: and the problem is they're, like you, know showing you

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Speaker 1: pictures and.

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Speaker 2: Like oh da, da and it's like that looks your

185
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Speaker 2: baby's fucking. Ugly. Baby, god fuck get, Doll oh my.

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00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:47,960
Speaker 2: GOD i. Sixteen female will ADMIT i have and always

187
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Speaker 2: will have.

188
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,720
Speaker 1: A close relationship with my, mom female. Forty she is

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Speaker 1: truly an amazing. Woman she did a great job and

190
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,319
Speaker 1: is honestly. Beautiful, wow very very sweet from a team

191
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,080
Speaker 1: of daughter starting off pretty.

192
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,360
Speaker 2: Sweet, YEAH i feel like the angsty teenage. Daughter you

193
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,559
Speaker 2: don't expect, That you're, LIKE i hate, you. MOM i

194
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,920
Speaker 2: guess WHAT i expect from the teenage.

195
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,720
Speaker 1: Daughter like she's doing a terrible, job and it's honestly,

196
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,360
Speaker 1: ugly that's what the angsty would. Say yet about a year,

197
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,000
Speaker 1: ago we found out that my, dad male forty, two

198
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:21,280
Speaker 1: is having an affair who is twenty, six and daddy

199
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:27,000
Speaker 1: can get, it, Daddy daddy's got it twenty, six damn

200
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:32,160
Speaker 1: and slung in that wang his a fair. Mistress lady

201
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,720
Speaker 1: is only ten years older than. Me ten years is

202
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,520
Speaker 1: a lot of, years, though it, is but it's when

203
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,040
Speaker 1: you put it like, that it's it's.

204
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:47,400
Speaker 2: Like fourteen years younger than probably oh, dad yeah forty

205
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,680
Speaker 2: two minus, yeah quick maps are. Sixteen it's one of

206
00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:56,400
Speaker 2: THOSE i can't but, Okay i'm, like give me a.

207
00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:01,080
Speaker 2: Cap the dad's just. Comeback but let's hear her mout.

208
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:06,200
Speaker 2: Here but but you, know where's the argument to be? Made,

209
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,240
Speaker 2: No i'm just he was feeling, lonely you. Know, no

210
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:17,960
Speaker 2: it's just like. Congrats it's just like. Congratulations you know

211
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,640
Speaker 2: he he he did, It so he did. It he did.

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00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,480
Speaker 2: It you, Know, hey you can do, it then then

213
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Speaker 2: do it and ruin your. Family thank, you ruin your

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Speaker 2: family and your. Family just do.

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Speaker 1: It her AND i have less of an age gap

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Speaker 1: than my dad and her. Half, yeah she's drilling at.

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Speaker 2: Home, yeah just like the dad's drilling that twenty six year. Old.

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Speaker 1: Hot my, mom even though she was, upset she has

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Speaker 1: never really trash talked my.

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Speaker 2: Dad, wow even, then, dude, Mom mom's just saying over,

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Speaker 2: here holding her. Tongue you, know you know the father

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Speaker 2: ain't holding his tongue around that twenty six year old

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Speaker 2: and giving her that. Tongue neither is? Up oh uh

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Speaker 2: that royal. Scepter. BABY i am so upset. Though who

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Speaker 2: wouldn't be? Upset who wouldn't Be i'm thrilled my dad

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Speaker 2: is an affair with a woman half his, age destroying our.

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Speaker 2: FAMILY i am so.

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Speaker 1: Upset though it would have been one thing for him

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Speaker 1: to ask for a. Divorce instead he cheated with someone

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Speaker 1: much younger than.

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Speaker 2: Him him AND i love. It him and his affair

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Speaker 2: moved about two hours. Away, wow not even in a

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Speaker 2: name an, affair the. Affair at least they're living, together you.

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Speaker 2: KNOW i don't know if that's a good thing or

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Speaker 2: a bad. THING i think it's. Worse, Actually i've seen

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Speaker 2: him about five times since this all happened a year.

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Speaker 2: AGO i act pleasant WHEN i see, him but things are,

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Speaker 2: awkward and my dad AND i his relationship is clearly.

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Speaker 2: STRAINED i mean sounds that an affair with a twenty

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Speaker 2: six year old. Woman so and now are you ready

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Speaker 2: for the big? News, wait there's bigger news than. That

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Speaker 2: so my dad's affair is. Pregnant oh, yep he planted

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Speaker 2: his old forty two year old seed in, there just

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Speaker 2: flopped it right in the. Placenta.

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Speaker 1: Yikes he called me yesterday and asked IF i wanted

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Speaker 1: to go to the gender reveal party next.

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Speaker 2: Weekend bro out of, touch my, guy out of, touch

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Speaker 2: he's the room.

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Speaker 1: BRO i told him, No, yeah thank, god that's so.

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Speaker 2: Weird he asked why didn't want to talk about, it

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Speaker 2: because you had a freaking, affair dude with a twenty

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Speaker 2: six year.

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Speaker 1: Old he kept pushing, me going on saying about how

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Speaker 1: the baby will be my sweet precious little, sibling.

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Speaker 2: Half, sibling half half.

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Speaker 1: Half affair half, Sibling hi affair. Sibling imagine she just

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Speaker 1: addressed the affairs a fair baby.

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Speaker 2: BABY i got annoyed AND i went.

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Speaker 1: OFF i told him it would have been one thing

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Speaker 1: for him to go get a divorce for, mom but

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Speaker 1: you didn't have the guts for.

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Speaker 2: That so, instead you had an. Affair so, No i'm

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Speaker 2: not going to accept your little affair baby as a.

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Speaker 2: Sibling damn bro oh mm. Hmm he called me an immature.

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Speaker 2: BRAT i don't know someone's someone's like screwing someone half

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Speaker 2: their age and a fair. Baby so the immature one is.

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Speaker 1: Here you are in no position to throw any name

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Speaker 1: calling my friend out. Zero he later texted my mom

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Speaker 1: complaining about how IMMATURE i am and HOW i really

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Speaker 1: need to grow up and except that his mistress name

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Speaker 1: and the baby is going to be part of the.

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Speaker 2: Family, Bro, no, no, Dude.

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Speaker 1: And, honestly, like given like how much he looks up

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Speaker 1: to your, MOM I i think she's probably a pretty

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Speaker 1: fair like level headed. Person, yeah and it's, like, no.

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Speaker 2: Dude this is, terrible this is. Terrible, Ope you're not

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Speaker 2: in the, wrong but, wow complicated family dynamics going on right.

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Speaker 2: Here we need to you need to figure out a

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Speaker 2: way to get. Back maybe maybe like murder the twenty

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Speaker 2: six year, old or and the dad have her a

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Speaker 2: bribe a plastic surgeon to make it look like a. Maniac,

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Speaker 2: yes do, That, yes