WEBVTT - Using Financial Stress to Your Advantage #371 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.320 Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt, 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:26.960 and today we're discussing using financial stress to your advantage. Yeah, 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:30.200 I mean financial stress, or honestly stress in general. I 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:32.599 think that that's something that most people are going to think, 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:34.159 just right off the bat, that is something that they 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.519 want to avoid. Right. It's it's almost like if you 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:38.920 get sick, it's like it is getting sick ever a 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:40.800 good thing. It's something that you pretty much want to 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:43.960 always make sure that doesn't happen to you. But during 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.240 this episode, man, we're gonna talk about stress in a way, 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.720 uh and specifically stress when it comes to our money. 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.599 And you know, obviously there's the obvious kind of downsize 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:53.240 to it, but we're gonna talk about the upsides, the 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:56.120 upshots to financial stress and how we can use it 0:00:56.400 --> 0:01:00.760 to further us along down our path of personal using 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:04.000 something that's commonly perceived to be negative as an advantage. 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:05.840 I like that we're gonna talk about that today. But 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:07.800 before we get to that, man, I want to mention 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:11.920 that my wife just bought a smart watch. Oh your wife, 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.080 did you had like this cheapo watch on here in 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:15.800 the notes? And I thought maybe you got a new 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:17.720 one now, so I think I've we we've talked before, 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:20.520 how I am kind of against the smart watch, at 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:22.720 least for myself in my own life on my wrist. 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:25.440 I don't really want another screen to be checking, although 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.600 some people have actually said that having a smart watch 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:29.960 actually means you check your phone less often because you 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:31.679 can like quickly glance at your watch and then you're 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:34.480 done with it. But it's still a screen, Yeah, and 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.959 you're still being distracted from whatever you're doing. Yeah, I'm 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:39.920 with you. So I'm gonna avoid it for the time being. 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.720 But my wife, she said, well, she she she started 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.080 doing some research and she was just interested in potentially 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:47.480 getting a smart watch. You know, the name brand ones. 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.960 They're kind of expensive and right, yeah, something like that 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:53.440 Apple watch whatever. I think so, and you know, she's 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.240 gotten Android, so I don't even think those play nicely together. 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.520 Something that was even a possibility. She's got to get 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:01.320 that Samsung on her wrist. I think she would have. Yeah, 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:02.880 she'd have to get one of the andwer watches, like 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.640 Google makes one, Samsung makes one. But it turns out 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:08.520 that there are a lot of like non name brand 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.720 smart watches out there now. Too, and the technology has 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:13.960 gotten a whole lot better at the cheap end of 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:17.160 the spectro and so yeah, so she got a one 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:19.400 off Amazon. I'll link to the one that she purchased 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:21.760 in the show notes. But she's loving it because some 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:24.440 of the I think additional benefits of having one of 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.640 the really nice name brand ones she doesn't care about. 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:30.560 She really wants this to track steps, heart rate, monitor 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.560 her sleep and it has a lot of those those functions. 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.480 She can retext on it too. Um. And so yeah, 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.040 there's another watch. I forget what the name brand of 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:39.560 hers is. Again, I said, well, we'll link to in 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:43.400 the show notes. But Wise is another brand we've talked about. Wise. 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:46.200 They've got some cool stuff, like some cool cheap headphones, 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.679 so um, you know, they do home security incredibly cheap. 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:51.880 Instead of getting the Nest came or some of the 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.440 different camera setups in your home that typically costs like 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.800 like a hundred two hundred bucks for these cameras. Wise, Man, 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:00.520 those cameras are bucks. You actually and me onto them 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:02.440 last year. Yeah, so so those are great. By the way, 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:05.280 it's spelled w y z E and you Well, we'll 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:06.880 link to wis is in the show notes as well. 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.040 But yeah, the cool thing is that she didn't have 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:11.440 to spend very much and it's got the functionality she's 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.040 looking for. And I think sometimes we just assume that 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:15.720 we need the top of the line or the brand 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:18.280 new thing that cost three dollars in order to be happy, 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:20.040 in order to get the things we need. And Emily 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:21.600 was like, well, what am I looking for? Let me 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.720 read the reviews, let me, you know, sort through a 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:27.000 bunch of different watches and find one that is relatively 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.560 inexpensive that's gonna have the functionality that I actually need, 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.079 not all the stuff that I don't. Um. So, yeah, 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.400 we'll see how long at last, you know, smart watch 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.200 might last for a year, may not last very long, 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:39.880 maybe not even that long. We'll put it on the calendar. 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:41.560 Maybe a year from now, we'll check back in and 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.080 maybe Emily can come on give us her little smart 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.280 watch update. But but dude, I'm with you. So the 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.520 only thing that I feel like I've ever considered getting 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:51.560 a smart watch for is I've heard that you can like, 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:54.040 they buzz, like, they can vibrate, and I would love 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:57.440 a solution where I could have an alarm set specifically 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.200 in the morning so that when I wake up, it 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.240 doesn't wake up eat because in order for it to 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.320 be loud enough for me to hear, it's oftentimes, you know, 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:05.800 loud enough for her to hear as well, and she 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.160 kind of hates that. I try to get up super quietly. 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:10.160 But if I just had a little smart watch on 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:11.960 my wrist and it buzz and that, you know, that's 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:13.320 how I was able to wake up, I think that 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:15.000 could be. That could be pretty cool. Can I tell 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:17.200 you the number one feature of this watch that she 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.840 got though? What So she's constantly misplacing her phone and 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.640 she's always asking me to call her phone so she 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:26.239 can find it. This smart watch has like a locate 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.800 my phone feature. So dude, my life has already gotten 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:32.000 way better because she watch. Well, I mean even iPhones 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:33.880 are I feel like most phones have that feature. But 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:35.080 you just said, I mean, you have to sit down 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.840 at a computer log in that wet whereas I guess 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:39.360 with that watch is just already on her. She just 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.920 pushes a button exactly kind of like beeps off in 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:45.120 the distance. It's made us both much happier night. But yeah, 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:47.040 all right, Matt, let's mentioned the beer that we're having 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.320 on today's show. This one is from Bolero Snort Brewery. 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:53.080 It's called a mouhito. It's a logger with lime juice 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:54.680 and mint. We'll give our thoughts on this one at 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:56.360 the end of the episode. This was a brewer out 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:57.600 of New Jersey. I had never heard of before. It 0:04:57.600 --> 0:04:58.839 just kind of picked it up on a whim. I 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:02.680 just noticed that it's a Mouhito, not Mohito. They've got 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.160 a little cow cattle theme going on, I guess with 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:06.839 their brewery. But yeah, man, looking forward to enjoying this 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:09.200 one and sharing our thoughts at the end of the episode. 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:11.440 For now, let's get onto the topic of hand. We 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.919 are talking about how you can use financial stress to 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:18.000 your advantage. And Matt, I know you've never done this. 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:20.520 Have you ever said anything really dumb? Yes? But I 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:23.400 am doing it less and less as good as I age. 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:27.720 I'm getting wiser. Well. I think like I've definitely said 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:29.240 a lot of dumb things. One because I just have 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.039 this propensity to talk, and I think when you talk more, 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:33.800 you say more dumb things. If I shot my mouth 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:35.880 a little more, I probably would say fewer, But then 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:39.760 I sometimes make it worse because I try to explain, 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:42.200 you know, where I was coming from, and then people 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:45.240 are like, that doesn't make it any better, and they're 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:47.280 just give me a little little confused. I think we've 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:48.960 all been there, right, we all had that kind of 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.400 like foot in the mouth moment, like, oh, man, if 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:53.240 I just shut up five minutes ago, I'd be in 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.080 a much better spot with this person, in this situation. Whatever. 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:58.400 Maybe maybe it was like to a teacher after you 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.480 got a bad grade on a test and you somehow 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.880 talk to yourself into a d from us, you know, 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:05.240 like because that's how bad it went. Um. But yeah, 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:07.640 I think if we had just stopped at the first 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:10.760 idiotic thing, it would have turned out better for us 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:14.480 and humans, Matt, We're anxious creatures and money is one 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:16.640 of the most stressful topics we face. That's why we 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:20.040 wanted to talk about this today. It's not always a 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:24.159 poor money decision that leads to uh significantly higher stress levels. 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:27.240 Often it's the reaction that we have when we mess 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:30.880 up that creates these compounding effects that creates more stress 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:32.960 in our lives. And so, yeah, we want to talk about, 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:36.359 like how do we eliminate stress or mitigate stress in 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.680 our lives? And then also maybe in some ways use 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:41.880 that stress to our advantage in the future. Yeah, and 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:43.440 and of course, you know, it's important to note that 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:46.280 stress does have some positive benefit in our lives. You know, 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:49.600 it doesn't exist for no reason. But it's crucial for 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.240 us to make some changes though, so that you know, 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.760 our anxiety over money, that it doesn't cause us to 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:57.440 curl up into a ball unable to take any positive 0:06:57.440 --> 0:06:59.400 steps that can help us to move in the right direction. 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:01.360 This is idle in order to you know, keep it 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:04.400 from becoming a full blown personal crisis. And of course, 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:06.240 you know, in the last fifteen months they have been 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:10.240 especially stressful. But even before the pandemic, we saw that 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.040 Northwestern Mutual they actually did a study back in sixteen 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:16.360 and they found that a five percent of Americans feel 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:20.040 anxious about their finances. And the American Institute of Stress, 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.920 which is I gotta imagine that's an interesting place to work. 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:25.560 It's either the chilliest or the most stressful place to work. 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:27.600 I'm not sure it's on how they tackler the stress, 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.160 but they say that the number two cause of stress 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:33.320 in America is you guessed it, money At it's it 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:36.400 was actually just one percent point behind something, uh, you know, 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:40.000 really minor. The future of our nation work comes in 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:42.600 at number three after that. But it's worth pointing out 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.400 that a lot of folks are dealing with some amount 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:47.200 of financial stress. We want you to know that you're 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:50.840 not alone. Yeah, obviously it plagues a huge amount of people, 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.480 and Matt, I think we already know this. So we're 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:55.960 gonna talking about some of the positive benefits of financial 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.200 stress in your life. I know, actually there are there 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:00.960 are some. It sounds counterintuitive, but also talk about how 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.840 stress can be bad, right, and people probably already know 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:05.960 some of this stuff, but there's but this, this here 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:08.520 is a little reminder, right that overwhelming amounts of stress 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.720 can have a massive negative impact on our health and 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:14.600 on our relationships. That stress can lead to things like 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:19.760 cardiovascular disease, ulcers, and worse and unmanageable. Stress takes a 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:22.160 toll on the physical body as well. Not I even 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:26.000 saw a recent study that found that overworked individuals are 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.440 more stressed and it leads to a lot of premature 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.240 deaths in our country. So, yeah, the negative realities of 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.960 stress are real. It takes a toll on us, but 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:36.920 it also takes a toll on our relationships. When we're 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:40.160 overly stressed about anything we're we're more likely to take 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:41.839 it out on the people that we love the most, 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.760 and that leads to like messed up relationships and in 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.120 many cases, consistent money stress can rek havoc on a marriage. 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:51.360 Money fights are the second leading cause of divorce, and 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:54.520 almost half of couples that have fifty dollars or more 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.360 in consumer debt say that money is the leading cause 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:00.440 of arguments in their homes. That's a big deal. Stress 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:02.920 is obviously causing a lot of strife for a lot 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:05.720 of people. Yeah, that's right, And you know, the reactions 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:08.000 that we have to the stressors in our lives can 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:11.959 just make things worse. According to the American Psychological Association, 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:16.000 the top stress relieving activities are watching TV for over 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:20.480 two hours, uh, serving the Internet, napping, eating, drinking, and smoking. 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:23.040 Uh So, you know, basically, it's just a laundry list 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.840 of things that might be okay and and you know, 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:30.160 in extreme moderation, maybe maybe not the smoking because that's 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.440 never actually a good thing, But the rest of them 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.200 are okay in moderation. But we're over indulging in all 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:39.000 of them because Americans are just so stressed out, and 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.280 so money troubles are a big part of what gets 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:43.800 us to that point where we feel like we need 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:46.959 these different coping mechanisms. Yeah, it's like, um, so stressed out, 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.760 the only thing I can think of doing is popping 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:51.560 in the couch and watching two and a half hours 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.400 of Netflix, right, which is essentially ignoring the stress, right, 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:56.400 Like you're you're basically running from it. You're you're not 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.679 facing the problems and instead you're just pretending that it 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:02.160 doesn't exist, which, um only makes the problem worse in 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.679 almost every case. And we've talked about this as well before. 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:08.440 But sometimes we spend too much money because we're stressed out, 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:11.600 and spending spreeze, you know, or retail therapy is what 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.479 it's sometimes called, can be an attempt to basically wallpaper 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.560 over the emotions that we're feeling. But that also makes 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:21.040 things worse. Right. Some folks actually at Duke University, they 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:22.800 found what they do, they do a lot of great 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.560 like behavioral money work there. They found that instead of 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:29.920 stress spending, people should instead try stress saving. And that 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:31.880 feels that, Yeah, I can get behind that too, but 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:33.400 I'm sure a lot of a lot of people listening 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:35.840 are like that, yeah, that what does that do for? 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.760 Yeah it sounds great, but that doesn't actually relieve stress. 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:42.640 And you know, I can understand why you might respond 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.679 that way. But but but the interesting thing is what they 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.439 got to the root of is that spending it actually 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:49.640 puts you in a worse hole. Right, But the behavioral 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.920 final folks are Dukes said that the main benefit we 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:54.319 get from the act of spending is the act of 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:57.360 actually making a decision, picking something out, buying it. Boom, 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.920 it's on our the way to our house. Basically like 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:02.280 the autonomy you have over your life. Yeah. Yeah, that's 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:05.160 the part of spending that feels good. It's not necessarily 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:08.400 even getting the item right. And so their solution was 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.360 to say that instead of purchasing that item, transfer that 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.880 exact amount of money to your savings. It gives you 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:16.600 the same satisfaction but benefits you obviously in a more 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.560 positive way, and your money going to Amazon or some 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.319 other you know, online retailer. That money is going into 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:25.600 your savings account, but you're actually physically doing something, You're 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.040 taking an action. And so yeah, if if Duke and 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:32.320 how the money can combine efforts and make stress saving 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:34.199 a thing. I think that'd be awesome. Yeah, so that's 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.240 a nice little action step. A little takeaway early in 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.920 the episode, which doesn't always happen, how the money. But 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.520 you know, all of these things are all the traditionally 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:45.959 negative views towards stress, right, Like, we we don't want 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.920 you to be overwhelmed and stressed out, and definitely not 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.680 because of money issues. But we think that there's actually 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.480 a much better way to view the stress in our lives. 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.680 You know, we think that you can actually put stress 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:58.840 in a positive light. Uh, maybe it's less about conquering 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.120 and combating stress, right, it's not something that we're just 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.120 trying to overcome. What if you're able to discover how 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.839 stress will allow you to get ahead with your money 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:09.480 and so we'll talk more about that right after this break. 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:20.880 All right, now, let's get to kind of some of 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:23.080 the heart of what we wanted to cover on this episode. 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.320 Le taking into the meat. Yeah, let's talk about stress 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.960 and how it can actually be good and benefit you potentially. 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.600 Um So, yeah, before we talked about how you respond 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:32.720 when financial stress hits. We're gonna kind of get some 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:35.280 practical steps on that later. It's important to point out 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:40.040 that stress isn't an inherently terrible thing. Like when we're stressed, 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:44.640 the purpose of the physiological response of our body is 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:48.280 to overcome whatever obstacles might be in our way. Ourselves 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:51.520 are releasing dopamine and adrenaline so that we actually have 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:53.800 a boost of energy and alertness. And this is like 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:55.760 the fight or flight response we all learned about an 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.720 elementary school, right, And it's like when when someone challenges 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:01.000 you to a fight, either like you get so pumped 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:02.480 up you punch them in the nose, or you run away. 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:06.240 I usually ran away. You gets bumps and said, all 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.199 the hair on your arm stands on end. Yep, it 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:12.800 makes you look bigger. I still ran away. That's always 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:14.840 how I handled I fight's growing up and still to 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.480 this day. But they happened, Um, they never really happened 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.800 growing up either, Let's be honest. But yeah, this is 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:22.640 like how our bodies naturally respond to conflict, and really 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:24.160 what we want to talk about in this episodes. How 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:28.880 do we use that response, that physiological response when it 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.240 comes to how stress impacts our lives. How do we 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.800 use that not to our detriment, not to curl up 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.720 in a ball, but actually to use it to our advantage. Yes, 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.560 and so maybe it's not overcoming financial stress, but maybe 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:43.040 it's more utilizing stress to overcome financial obstacles. Right. It's 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.840 sort of like Judo, you know, like the martial arts, right. 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.400 I heard about it. Never did it karate though, for 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.120 like I don't know, maybe three months and it still 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:52.679 didn't serve you. Well, I guess in those little on 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.439 this playground scuffles, didn't know I broke one board though, 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:58.560 that's my claim to fame. I still wanted to do 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:00.000 that as a kid, you know, like you'd see kids 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.160 on TV swear they get special boards for weak kids, 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:06.360 like they do. But okay, so it's like Judo, right, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.880 and so if we can use the momentum and weight 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:12.840 of stress that we encounter against the negative and the 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.800 more unhealthy behaviors that were that were tempted to adopt, 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.360 then we will be able to see incredible growth in 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:20.520 our lives. Uh. And so kind of like extending that 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.640 metaphor as we think of our bodies. You know what 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.920 happens when you lift weights or you work out that resistance, 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.400 say of a kettle bell like that right there? That 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.440 is stress, but the same stress is actually what causes 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:33.880 our muscles to grow, and so we wanted to mention 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.360 this because the proper amount of stress in our lives 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:39.000 makes us stronger in the same thing is also true 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:41.720 of our finances. Yeah, man, especially like when when we 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:43.880 think back to the periods in our life when we 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:46.960 were performing at the highest levels, like we can probably 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:50.040 bet that there was some amount of stress in our lives. Um, 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.000 And I think I think back to school, right, I 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:55.920 remember doing a couple of overnighters, and like I didn't 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.280 realize how many books I could read and maybe how 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:00.880 much and how much information I can remember eyes until 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.880 getting that great and graduating, maybe what was dependent on it. 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.240 Like I almost needed that challenge like that, I'm a 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:09.040 I'm a procrastinator to the core, and so I needed 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:10.760 to be kind of like pushed up against the wall 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.200 in order to like you know, give my stress levels 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.360 raised so that I could react accordingly. Yeah, I felt 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:16.840 that way when it came to a scholarship. I mean 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:19.080 I was getting ready to lose a big scholarship, and man, 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.640 talk about me buckling down and actually getting the grades 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:23.800 I needed to when money was on the line. Yeah, 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:28.080 I studied. Yeah, and like I think to other people, 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.840 maybe they never knew just how creative they could be 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.440 until a project at work, let's say, for instance, required 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.560 a completely different way of viewing the problem. And then 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:38.800 when it comes to our finances, a lot of people 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.800 probably never realized how little money they could live on 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:44.040 until they lost a job they were out of work, 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:46.640 or maybe they never realized how much they could earn 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:48.680 until they had set a goal to save up a 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.240 down payment on a house and they're like, I really 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:52.720 want to do that in the next two years. I've 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:54.560 got to earn more money to get there, all right, 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:56.520 How am I gonna make this happen? Um? And So 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.760 I think sometimes you have those stressful situations, they create 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.960 the ability in us that otherwise, if we're just kind 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.920 of hanging out at a more relaxed pace, we're not 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.920 forced to get creative. We're not forced to work harder, 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.120 you know, we're not forced to think about things differently. 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.400 And it's not that stress is always good, but that 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:16.320 kind of stress can be a huge motivator. Yeah, I mean, 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:18.120 I think it's a good thing because it shows us 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:19.880 that we care, right, It's something that we're connected to 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:23.160 because if we didn't feel stressed towards something that, you 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.520 know that was kind of pushing up in our lives. Well, 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:27.720 that just means we're kind of apathetic to whatever that 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:29.600 thing is. And so I think I see it as 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:32.000 a healthy amount of concern, right, Like that's kind of 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:34.080 how we're trying to view stress here. We're trying to 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:36.160 view it through that lens. But of course, you know, 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:38.520 it's important to point out that, like we're making an 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:41.240 argument here that a proper amount of stress in our lives, 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:44.360 in healthy doses like that is beneficial. You know, Like 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:45.600 it kind of makes me think of just kind of 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:48.040 like filling up your cup at the sink, getting some water, 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:49.720 just a little bit of you know, some of that water, 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:51.200 a little bit of stress in our lives. It can 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:53.200 I think it can go a long way. Uh. That's 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:54.880 a lot different than trying to like drink from a 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:58.920 fire hydrant. Right. It's hard to grow and to make 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:01.720 progress with our money when we're constantly facing just an 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:05.720 overwhelming barrage of financial stressors in our life. But please 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.280 please tell me you've never tried to drink from a 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.320 fire now, but you've heard people talking about, Yeah, I 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:13.160 just wonder if someone's actually trying just too much um 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:15.840 like it's so for instance, like we don't want someone 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.520 in a vicious cycle of only paying the minimums on 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:21.520 their credit cards because you've got too many financial obligations 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:23.800 like this would be an instance of bad stress that 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:27.080 leads to poor decisions and outcomes. Earlier, Joe, before the break, 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.159 you talked about couples who when faced with constant stress 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.159 in their lives, how that can lead to the relationship 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:35.000 uh suffering. We think that with the right amount of 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.119 stress that you would be amazed at the amount of 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.000 work that you'd be able to get done, like specifically 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.159 with like with a couple right where you know you 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:43.240 got your partner when you feel a little bit of 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:45.439 stress and you both are on board, and it forces 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:47.679 you to talk about say your your money that I 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:49.920 don't think you can help but to be more efficient, 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:52.399 to spend wisely with your dollars, or to you know, 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.520 to start earning more money. But if the stress is 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.479 too much and it's constant, that's when it can be 0:17:57.520 --> 0:17:59.120 negative in our lives. And that's when when I think 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.040 it can often lead us to take some of those 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:03.920