1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom Never told you? 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: From house Stop works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Kristen, I'm Molly, So Molly. We've talked 5 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: a lot about beauty in this podcast, the social constructs 6 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: surrounding beauty, especially female beauty, the beauty myth, etcetera. Things 7 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: that we do to ourselves to make ourselves more aesthetically 8 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 1: pleasing to the people around us. Uh So today we're 9 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: gonna put some some money behind it. Okay, say is 10 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: is beauty? Is beauty actually paying us back in our wall? 11 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 1: It's not just paying us back in terms of having 12 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: more friends, having more lovers, but getting a job, keeping 13 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: a job and get paid. Yeah. I mean they say 14 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: that you've got to spend light to make money. So 15 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: is it possible that the money you spend on cosmetics, 16 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 1: on nice clothes are you making an investment in yourself? Yeah? 17 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: Essentially do pretty people make more? And the reason why 18 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:20,199 Speaker 1: we're asking this questions because Newsweek magazine just came out 19 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: with well, I guess it's been a few weeks now 20 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: that the podcast, um when the podcast publishes. But Newsweek 21 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: came out with this huge package online about the idea 22 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: of beauty in the workplace, and the lead article was 23 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 1: written by one of their writers, Jessica Bennett, who did 24 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: a great job compiling a lot of studies and also 25 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: highlighting this survey that Newsweek conducted, an independent survey that 26 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:52,559 Speaker 1: they conducted where they talked to leave. It was two 27 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: d hiring managers at all different types of businesses to 28 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: get their feedback on whether or not beauty really makes 29 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: a difference in whether or not people are hired, fired, retained, promoted, etcetera. 30 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: And the message came back loud and clear that yes, 31 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: indeed beauty matters. Yeah. One thing that really struck me 32 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: and managers believe an unattractive but qualified job Canada will 33 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: have a harder time getting hired than someone who's more attractive. 34 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: Sixty eight percent believe that once hired, looks will continue 35 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: to affect the way managers rate job performance. And you know, 36 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: for I think we'd all like to believe that we 37 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: just have to get a job based on our experience 38 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,119 Speaker 1: and our education and our qualifications, and we can work 39 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: hard and we can get ahead, and it's you know, 40 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: it's staggering to think that it's all going to come 41 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: down to what you look like. And yeah, I would 42 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: say Molly as a from my experience as a younger 43 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: woman in the workplace. Absolutely, I want to be taken 44 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: seriously for whatever ideas that I bring to the table, 45 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: whatever work that I produce, whatever kind of creativity and 46 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: energy and all of that. You're not just like Molly's 47 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: stop it. But no, I want to be judged from 48 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: my intellect rather than you know, however someone judges my 49 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 1: face and my body and my overall appearance. Um. And 50 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: the reason why Newsweek started asking this question in the 51 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 1: first place can be traced back to around on. This 52 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 1: team of economist Hammer, Mesh, and Biddle came up with 53 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 1: this idea of the so called beauty premium because they 54 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: looked at um, the attractiveness of different employees. Okay, they 55 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: rated different employees attractiveness and then compared that to their salaries, 56 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: and hammermission Biddle came up with this quote unquote beauty 57 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: premium of five percent income bump for the more attractive 58 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: ones among us, and then a nine percent plainness penalty, 59 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: as they called it, for you know, the plane James 60 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: uh who you know, might not might not wint a 61 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: beauty beauty padget and uh again, as as always when 62 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: we're talking about compensation, there is a gender gap where 63 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: um gender wage gap, where the handsome men can make 64 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: more than the most attractive women. Yeah, I mean well, 65 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: according to according to these people, we handsome men will 66 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 1: make five percent more, good looking women will earn four 67 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: percent more. But take that into account though, because there's 68 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 1: still the gender gaps, So women are earning four percent 69 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: less than a smaller salary than what men are already making. 70 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: And to put some actual dollars behind that, uh, hair 71 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: A Mesh came up with the figure of two and 72 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars. A good looking man will make that 73 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: much more, nearly quarter million dollars more than his less 74 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: attractive counterpart. That's staggering. That's a lot of though, a 75 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: lot of the I mean like because then, you know, 76 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: Jessica Bennett rais the question should you just get a 77 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: nose job invest in the nose job to like, I mean, 78 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,919 Speaker 1: how far do you need to take this to actually 79 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:11,280 Speaker 1: get some money out of out of this you know equation? Well, 80 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: because a lot of these hiring managers that Newsweek surveyed 81 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: said that, yes, people who are looking for jobs need 82 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: to invest some money in their appearance. Now that does 83 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: didn't necessarily mean that everyone needed to go out and 84 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: get some botox and some nose job before they went 85 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 1: in for an interview, but they said that it did 86 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: make a difference. And check this stat out. Sixty one 87 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 1: percent of these managers so that it would be an 88 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: advantage for a woman to wear work where clothing to 89 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: work showing off her figure. Now here's are we getting 90 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: to the double edged sword for women, Because we've talked 91 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: about this before. You can reach a point where the 92 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: clothing you wear and the appearance you put out there 93 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: in the workplace can work against you absolutely because you'll 94 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: just be seen as the big busted floozy. You know, 95 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: all the brain power, it's nothing up there. It's all 96 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: just in the boobs. Well, and it's not just I 97 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: don't think it only has to do with bus sees 98 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: and you can just be you know, tight fitting whatever. 99 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: You know. Maybe makeup has been shown in different studies 100 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: to have um to to not only it will boost 101 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: a woman's likability in an office, but then detract from 102 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: her perceived competence. And now we come to the stat 103 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: that sums all of it up very nicely, where all 104 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: these same managers who are saying, oh, yeah, no, it's 105 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: it's great if a woman wears figure flattering clothing because 106 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: of these hiring managers also believe it's possible for a 107 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 1: woman to be penalized for being too good looking. And 108 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,119 Speaker 1: this is when the reason why we're talking about women 109 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: is because, as well learn more in the podcast, there's 110 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: definitely a gender gap when it comes to this idea 111 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: of the beauty premium because while handsome men, it's just 112 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: sky's the limit. They just keep climbing. They're making this 113 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:03,359 Speaker 1: two fifty dollars extra and it's fantastic, but women seem 114 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 1: to hit a beauty ceiling, if you will, that becomes 115 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: quickly a beauty backlash. Now, if you're feeling frustrated that 116 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: it's all going to come down to what you look like, 117 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: I do want to throw into what was to me 118 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: the silver lining of this Newsweek survey, and that was 119 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: um and it's a double edged sword, I guess, because 120 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: all those people who were participating in the survey were 121 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: asked to rate nine character attributes from one to ten, 122 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: ten being the most important um and the attributes were 123 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: things like sense of humor, where the candidate went to school, experience, 124 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: and so basically, looks came in third out of these 125 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: nine characteristics. So they're saying that education is less important 126 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: than looks when it comes to getting the job. So, 127 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: you know, so much for all that money your parents 128 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: spent getting you in education, but the thing that came 129 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: in first was experience, and the thing that came in 130 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: second was confidence. And this is something I think we 131 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: can come back to at certain points in this podcast. Now, 132 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 1: then you've got to get into our pretty people just 133 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: more confident. Yeah, do they naturally pay more attention to 134 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: their howard appearance? Or is confidence something that can be 135 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: cultivated and used to our advantage in the workplace for everyone, 136 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: no matter what they look like. And that to me 137 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: is what the silver lining is, because you know, we 138 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: talk a lot about body acceptance and stuff like that 139 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: in this podcast. Kristen and I would argue that if 140 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: you can find that way to find the confidence no 141 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: matter what you look like, then then that has been 142 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: ranked more important than the looks. That's why you can 143 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 1: overcome to me in some small extent, the beauty premium, absolutely, 144 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: and you know, and it's not to say that that 145 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: being attractive is a bad thing at all, but it's 146 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: still this issue of I think that we have a 147 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: problem socially with you know, just using your using your 148 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,959 Speaker 1: looks to get ahead. Especially you know a lot of 149 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: our conversations are focused around feminist ideals, and that idea 150 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: of just like using your body and using your looks 151 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: to to move forward really isn't isn't that well respected. 152 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: It's really this idea of competence and confidence. And there 153 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,439 Speaker 1: was a study that we found about ceo appearance that 154 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: kind of highlights this distinction between appearing competent and just 155 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: appearing plain likable. So what these researchers did was had 156 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,680 Speaker 1: participants study the facial traits of CEOs, and I believe 157 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 1: in this study all of these CEOs surprise or male, 158 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: and they rated them in terms of competence and likability 159 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: just their basic appearance and knew nothing about nothing about 160 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 1: these these men. And they included CEOs from not only 161 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: large firms, but also very small companies as well. And 162 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 1: the researchers found that the people who are perceived to 163 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: be the most competent not only headed the largest companies 164 00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: but also made the most money. And they weren't necessarily though, 165 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: the most likable faces. But it was really that idea 166 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: of competence, Yeah, and the fact that competence can be 167 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: captured in a photograph of a male. Because they talked 168 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: about how you know that when they put like a 169 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: CEO picture next to the non CEO picture, they would 170 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: make sure that they both had sort of the same 171 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: you know, style of shoot. The head was always turned 172 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: the same way. They'd always put you know, a facial 173 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: hair picture against another facial hair picture, so that as 174 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: many of the you know, variables as possible could be 175 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: the same. But still even when when presented with these 176 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: two very similar photos, the people could pick out the 177 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: CEOs as the more competent ones just from a snapshot photograph. 178 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: And uh, one interesting thing to me was how they 179 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: talked about how some of these CEOs had what they 180 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,599 Speaker 1: called baby face idnus, you know, the sort of a 181 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: for lack of better, were kind of a Doughey round face. 182 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 1: And how you know, these these CEOs were just not 183 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: seen as competent at all, very likable, very likable you'd 184 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: want to be their friends and you wouldn't want to 185 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: give them a ton of money and have them try 186 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: and run the world. But when they actually looked at 187 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: sort of the terrabric characteristics of those people, they were 188 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: the ones who were most qualified for success. And then 189 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: there comes this idea, then, is what we present actually 190 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 1: who we are? Because I'm sure we you know, we 191 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,839 Speaker 1: could have brought this up earlier. Yeah, the the good 192 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: looking people may be making more, but are they doing 193 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: as much work? Are they necessarily as competent? Yeah, and 194 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: they contributing as much. And a piggyback on this idea 195 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 1: of the idea of how, especially male um physical features 196 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,719 Speaker 1: might communicate competence, because in all these CEO studies, it 197 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 1: is kind of frustrating all of the all the photos 198 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: are of male CEOs. But Malcolm Gladwell points out in 199 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,719 Speaker 1: one of his book that the average CEO is approximately 200 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,559 Speaker 1: three inches taller than the average man. And he further 201 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: points out that while thirty percent of CEOs of these 202 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: fortune companies are at least six ft two, of the 203 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: average population, only three point nine percent of men stand 204 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: this tall um. So there seems to uh, there seems 205 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: to be some kind of I don't know, some kind 206 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 1: of link between, uh, between not only men's physical appearance, 207 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: you know, facial appearance, but also height. And then finally, 208 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: just to to drive home this idea of height, because 209 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: here's the thing. We can't control what we look like really. 210 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: I mean, like we can put on makeup and we 211 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: can get botox and all of this, but in terms 212 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: of height in particular, we are you know, we have 213 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,720 Speaker 1: to deal with the hand that we are genetically helt 214 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 1: deal dealt um. And so finally, there was this one 215 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: study where these economists found that men's wages as adults 216 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 1: could be linked to their height at age sixteen, when 217 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: they usually hit their adult height, and they found that 218 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: increasing a man's height at age sixteen by one inch 219 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: increase their wages by two point six percent on average. Wow. Crazy, Well, 220 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: you know this this the study that we just talked 221 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: about with the trust where they CEOs. It was called 222 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: a corporate Beauty Contest, and it was done by researchers 223 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: at Duke and the National Bureau for Economic Research. And 224 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: they do point out that to become a CEO, it's 225 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: more than just looking at a photograph. Obviously you've built 226 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: up this really long career, but I think that it 227 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: helps you connect to the fact that the news week 228 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: hiring managers are letting someone who's probably taller and more 229 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: you know, classically good looking in the door. It just 230 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 1: gives them more opportunities to succeed. But you know, we 231 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 1: mentioned this concept of do these people actually put in 232 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 1: the work to get to where they are? You would 233 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 1: think that as a CEO, you would and I think 234 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: that we do get sort of an evidence on how 235 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: much you can contribute to your own success from a 236 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 1: study we found called Beauty, Gender, and Stereotypes evidence from 237 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: laboratory experiments done by researchers from you see San Diego 238 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: and Georgia State here in Atlanta, and this study talked 239 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: a lot about generosity games where people you know, there's 240 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: some some studies that can do where uh, you know, 241 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 1: one if one person decided, like let's say there's a 242 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: pot in the middle of two people, and if both 243 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: people decide to take it, then no one gets it. 244 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: Whereas they both decided to give it, then they get 245 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 1: to split it. And it's really about sizing up cooperation 246 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: and who you think will cooperate with you so that 247 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: you can both walk away with the biggest pot. Possible, 248 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: and these researchers sort of set up that kind of 249 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: game where they gave people tokens and they would pay 250 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: them back based on how they invested their tokens. You 251 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: could invest tokens in public utilities or in private utilities, 252 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: and you would get paid more individually. If you put 253 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: money into the private ones, you would get paid more. 254 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: As a group. The group would get more money if 255 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: you put them into the public ones. And you don't 256 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 1: know how the other people in your group are betting, 257 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: but uh, you know, obviously it's sort of in your 258 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: best interested you kind of a mix of the private 259 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: ones and the public ones. So what they did was 260 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: they got people in and you know, they had been 261 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: pre judged as attractive or not attractive, and they had 262 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: groups of four people playing these games for certain rounds, 263 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: and the people would get paid some money based on 264 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: how they bet. But then they told the people just 265 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: how much everyone was putting into the pot, and that 266 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: changed things a little bit. Yeah, because one one thing 267 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 1: that we've found across a lot of these attractiveness in 268 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: the workplace studies is that more attractive people, no matter 269 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: their gender, are perceived from the get go to being 270 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: more cooperative, which really surprised me because you think about 271 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: high school, I mean, like the mean girls are the 272 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: pretty girls. I mean, I don't know where this I 273 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: was surprised to learn that, But that apparently is how 274 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 1: if you're playing these cooperation games, how you apparently pick people. 275 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: The people who are playing those games always would pick 276 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 1: pretty people to play. So when it was when it 277 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: was only a group effort to maximize the group good, 278 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: the pretty people came out on top in terms of 279 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 1: other people's expectations and other people's assessments of their performance 280 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: because of this strange uh cooperation attractiveness link. Yeah, so 281 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: the people who are playing with the attractive people would say, oh, 282 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: these people have got to be donating the public good. 283 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: I will too. Yeah. Yeah. But when they broke it 284 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: down to the individual level, then things got a little 285 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: harry for the attractive ones. Yeah, they showed, they basically 286 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: showed after every round how much everyone had put into 287 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: their different categories, and the non attractive people per se 288 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: found out that the attractive people had not been investing 289 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: as much in the public good as you know, they 290 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: had thought, and their stereotype was crushed. And then they 291 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: played the game much differently. Yeah, they judged the attractive 292 00:16:54,840 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: women in particular much more harshly than the attractive men 293 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: because they really attracted, not expected, not only attracted women 294 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: to be cooperative because of their their inherent beauty, but 295 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: also I would I think that we could easily say 296 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: that women compared to men would just be expected, as 297 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 1: part of our genetic makeup to just exude more cooperation, 298 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: um than motherly instinct. Yeah, so they were perceived to 299 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 1: be far more selfish, whereas the attractive men um, even 300 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 1: though they might not have been as generous as a 301 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: as previously thought, they were still perceived to be exhibiting 302 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: leadership skills. Yeah. And I think that this gets to 303 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,639 Speaker 1: where we were talking about the beginning of the podcast, 304 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: about when you start to be penalized for your looks. 305 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,400 Speaker 1: And it didn't take that much for the non attractive 306 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,879 Speaker 1: people to turn on the attractive women in this study 307 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 1: and say, look, you're not helping me. I'm not helping you, 308 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 1: and everyone's dividends from this game went down, whereas the men, 309 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: as Kristen said, just had to put in a little 310 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: bit and everyone was like, gosh, that guy is generous, 311 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: that guy is amazing. Let's all just help him out, 312 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: and that guy made more money. And here's the thing though, too, 313 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 1: when you start to look at because we've read through 314 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: a lot of these different studies, there are all sorts 315 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: of studies on the different ways that an attractive woman 316 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 1: is perceived and attractive man is perceived, and over and 317 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: over again, it seems like attractive women just seemed to 318 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 1: elicit more of a reaction from both men and women 319 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: who are looking at them, um than uh than men. 320 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: And there is a study we found from Florida State 321 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 1: University that kind of confirms this idea that they had 322 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,919 Speaker 1: both male and female observers look at physically attractive female 323 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 1: quote unquote targets as as a study authors call them, 324 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,359 Speaker 1: and then looking at attractive male targets. And when it 325 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,159 Speaker 1: comes to looking at the attractive women, both male and 326 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 1: female observers um really paid a lot of attention to them. Now, 327 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: when it came to the males, um, females, you know 328 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: kind of kind of looked at the attractive males, but 329 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: they but they weren't nearly as distracting because they were 330 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 1: giving them, like other tasks, cognitive tests to do to 331 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: kind of rate how distracting. You know, if if a 332 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: hot woman walks in the room, um, how distracting she 333 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: is compared to how attractive you know, a hot, hot 334 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: nude is if he if he walks across and time 335 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: and again the women, while of course we'll look up 336 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: and see man, it's a lot easier to put our 337 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: head back down and keep going about it. Whereas with 338 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: a woman, for both men, for both men and women, um, 339 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: you know, it just sends something in our brains just 340 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,480 Speaker 1: shooting off. So taking all of these study findings into 341 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: account and really, you know, acknowledging this, uh, this kind 342 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 1: of mental cognitive impact that attractive women seem to have, 343 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: even more so than men. It makes a lot of 344 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,960 Speaker 1: sense when Newsweek writer Tony to Coppell points out that 345 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,639 Speaker 1: the bulk of research not only on the benefits but 346 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,119 Speaker 1: also the drawbacks of attractiveness in the world place really 347 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: focuses on women. I mean, I'm sure that you know 348 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 1: the same kinds of things happen to men, and I'm 349 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 1: not trying to the point of this podcast is not 350 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: to victimize beautiful women by any stretch of the imagination, 351 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: but I think it is It is interesting to think 352 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: about this aspect of beauty in the workplace. And I 353 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 1: have a feeling that everyone listening right now can think 354 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 1: about some attractive person, super attractive person they have worked 355 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 1: with at some point who may have gotten treated a 356 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: little bit differently than other coworkers, whether that's positive or negative. 357 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:42,200 Speaker 1: But like Molly said early on in the podcast, it's 358 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 1: not just about beauty, thank god. Um. The Newsweek survey 359 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 1: also pointed out that there are two factors that the 360 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: hiring managers rate it as more important than physical attractiveness, 361 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 1: right as we said, their experience and confidence. And I 362 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: think that when you think back to the game of 363 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: the gambling games where the people once they found out 364 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 1: what the people what the attractive people actually did, I 365 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 1: think that it does show that information still has sway 366 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: once you know what a person is actually doing on 367 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: a team project or you know, in our workplace, would 368 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 1: be like what articles are you writing? How good are 369 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 1: your articles? You know, what are you talking about on 370 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:24,399 Speaker 1: your podcast? Once that is known, that can counteract the 371 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,640 Speaker 1: beauty stereotypes that your boss might have about you. So 372 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: it's more about you know, even though it sounds from 373 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 1: the from the surface like you know, putting your head 374 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: down and just working doesn't do you any good. I 375 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: do think that, you know, obviously, there is something to 376 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: be said for having the information to support yourself, and 377 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 1: also is having the confidence both in the work that 378 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: you've done and and your appearance no matter what it is. 379 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: I mean, if you decided to give up because you're 380 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,120 Speaker 1: not attractive, and sorry this sounds so weird to say, 381 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: but I mean people can tell if you've given up, 382 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,879 Speaker 1: and so they're saying that having that confidence in yourself, 383 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,119 Speaker 1: no matter what you look like, can be important. And 384 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 1: just to throw one final study in the mix, uh, 385 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 1: there was one from the Journal of Applied Psychology that 386 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 1: found that again, attractiveness certainly makes a difference in the workplace, 387 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 1: and there does seem to be a lot of evidence 388 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,919 Speaker 1: for some kind of quote unquote beauty premium uh that exists, 389 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 1: but experience and intelligence really will make a lot of 390 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: a lot of difference. Like there's been one study that's 391 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: been getting a lot of play in popular media this 392 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: past week, Molly, and that was talking about how attractive 393 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 1: women were discriminated against when applying for jobs that are 394 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 1: considered to be masculine. You know, so say, I think 395 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 1: the examples say throughout were like a construction foreman or 396 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,439 Speaker 1: certain types of engineers or even truck driving. Um if 397 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,719 Speaker 1: a woman, uh you know looks I guess too by 398 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: attractive in this sense, they're equating that with appearing you know, 399 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,520 Speaker 1: our our social idea of being feminine. Um, you know, 400 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 1: for for attractive women applying for those jobs, even if 401 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:08,119 Speaker 1: they might have the experience, just they're simply by looking 402 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: more like a hot lady, if you will, they aren't 403 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,959 Speaker 1: as likely to get the job. So there are all 404 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 1: these different factors into it. But it is going into this. 405 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 1: But it is interesting that no matter what, beauty is 406 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 1: kind of this common threat throughout all of it, and 407 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: like it or not, it's there and it's definitely in play. 408 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,159 Speaker 1: And like I said, I mean, take two seconds and 409 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,159 Speaker 1: think about your employment history. And I met every one 410 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 1: of us can come up with some some smoking coworker 411 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:47,200 Speaker 1: who seemed to um affect. So yeah, just be aware that, 412 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,239 Speaker 1: you know, even if it's not a contest that you 413 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: want to win or think you can win, there is 414 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 1: a beauty contest going on at work. And we want 415 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: to know. Have any of you experienced the beauty contest 416 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,200 Speaker 1: at work? Let us know, send us your story or 417 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: post them on our Facebook. It's just stuff mom ever 418 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,119 Speaker 1: told you on Facebook? And uh, let's let's start this 419 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: conversation people. And if you work with John Ham, of 420 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: course you've got to deal with the beautiful person I work. 421 00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 1: And the thing is, Molly, I'm sure we have so 422 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: many attractive listeners out there. They just have to be 423 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 1: so many stories to share, so we want to hear 424 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 1: all of them. In the meantime, we'll share a couple 425 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:29,119 Speaker 1: of stories with you right now. I've got an email 426 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 1: from Renee about the Long Distance Relationship podcast. And she 427 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 1: dated a guy a long distance for almost two years, um, 428 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 1: but ten years later they're still very much in love. 429 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 1: So she's got some advice. She writes, do the fun stuff, 430 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: but also the normal stuff. And I was single. I 431 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: remember my friends and I would always say, I just 432 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,959 Speaker 1: want someone to sit on the couch with. Be honest, 433 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: but don't bore each other with the details over the phone. 434 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 1: Save some stories from when you were together. Don't know 435 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: that it's be all physical when you see each other 436 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 1: only once in a while. The physical stuff will be exciting, 437 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 1: but talk and interact to you. Be realistic and honest 438 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: about what you want out of the relationship and what 439 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: you were willing to do to get what you want. 440 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: Introduce each other to your friends and family, but don't 441 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: plan all day activities with others unless you're significant other 442 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,399 Speaker 1: has expressed a desire to use their precious time with 443 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: you for a group activity. And lastly, find ways to 444 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,480 Speaker 1: be spontaneous within the confines of your situation. We would 445 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 1: plan to meet on a particular day and both leave 446 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 1: home around the same time, calling each other every so often. 447 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 1: We would meet in some small town with the reservation, 448 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: find a hotel, and then find something to do. It 449 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 1: was planned, but there was still an element of spontaneity. 450 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: Thank you very much for Nate. All right, I have 451 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,360 Speaker 1: another long distance relationship email here, and this one's from 452 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 1: Jamie and she has been separated from her boyfriend for 453 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,400 Speaker 1: the past four years, for by six hundred miles. They're 454 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: both at both at school, and he's graduated now and 455 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 1: he's come back and they were reunited, and she says, 456 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: I argue that everyone should go through a period of 457 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 1: long distance, even if it's just a month. Couples who 458 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 1: see each other every day and always have simply can't 459 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 1: appreciate their time together, it gets taken for granted. Of 460 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,480 Speaker 1: course I got frustrated from time to time when he 461 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 1: was so far away, as did he, but we always 462 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 1: made our relationship at priority and I wouldn't change any 463 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: of it. The absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder. 464 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: And from my ending two months ago he proposed, of 465 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 1: course I said yes. And the wedding is next year. 466 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 1: Oh that's sweet. Sweet notes to end this on. So 467 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,239 Speaker 1: thanks for your stories. Keep sending them in again our 468 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: emails Mom stuff at how stuff works dot com. Also 469 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 1: um flood our wall on Facebook. We it's a great 470 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 1: place to to post your ideas and thoughts and feelings 471 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: and everything up there too, and cool articles you guys 472 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: send in really cool. Yeah, so many great links and 473 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,679 Speaker 1: and that way you can share them with with with 474 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: other people as well and follow us on Twitter. And 475 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 1: then finally, you can check out our blog during the week. 476 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,680 Speaker 1: It's stuff Mom never told you and you can find 477 00:26:54,720 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: it at how stuff works dot com. For more on 478 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,879 Speaker 1: this and thousands of other topics, is it how stuff 479 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 1: works dot com. Want more how stuff works, check out 480 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: our blogs on the how stuff works dot com home page. 481 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. 482 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:18,640 Speaker 1: It's ready, Are you