WEBVTT - Clear is kind

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is that clear is kind. Don't convince yourself that

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<v Speaker 1>it is nice to be vague or avoid giving feedback. Often,

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<v Speaker 1>the most generous thing we can do is to tell

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<v Speaker 1>the truth directly. So we have probably all been in

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<v Speaker 1>a situation when a person with spinach stuck in her

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<v Speaker 1>teeth keeps chatting and smiling with the nice people who

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<v Speaker 1>pretend not to notice the spinach. We all justify our

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<v Speaker 1>silence by telling ourselves we don't want to embarrass her

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<v Speaker 1>by telling her it's there. And maybe that is fine

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<v Speaker 1>at a party, But sometimes the feedback is more serious

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<v Speaker 1>than a little spinach in the teeth. Maybe you've got

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<v Speaker 1>a colleague who talks too much in meetings and has

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<v Speaker 1>a tendency to ramble, but no one coaches him on

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<v Speaker 1>that because no one wants to hurt his feelings. Or

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<v Speaker 1>maybe someone sends emails that are way too informal for

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<v Speaker 1>your industry and your manager has brought up the issue,

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<v Speaker 1>but in a vague way that doesn't get the message across.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, some blanket statement in a meeting that we

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<v Speaker 1>all need to work on clear communication. Really, your colleague

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<v Speaker 1>comes away thinking, yes, I am clear, and everyone likes

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<v Speaker 1>my friendliness and effusiveness, not knowing people are cringing through

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<v Speaker 1>every message. We might tell ourselves we are not direct

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<v Speaker 1>because we want to spare the other person's feelings, But

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<v Speaker 1>if the feedback wouldn't be delivered in a hurtful or

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<v Speaker 1>humiliating way, then in truth, the actual motivation is to

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<v Speaker 1>spare awkwardness for ourselves that is not considered of the

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<v Speaker 1>other person at all. And here is a statistic that

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<v Speaker 1>I make you pause. There is some evidence that women

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<v Speaker 1>get less clear and actionable feedback at work than men

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<v Speaker 1>do from their managers. That means women are losing out

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<v Speaker 1>on chances to improve. Clear feedback shows that you are

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<v Speaker 1>taking someone seriously because you want them to get the

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<v Speaker 1>chance to do great things in the future. So, if

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<v Speaker 1>there is something that needs to be said or made known,

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<v Speaker 1>it is compassionate, respectful, and productive to communicate it directly. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>that doesn't mean it needs to be done in front

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<v Speaker 1>of a lot of people or in any sort of

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<v Speaker 1>mean way. It just needs to be clear, James, you

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<v Speaker 1>need to share airtime in the meeting. See if you

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<v Speaker 1>can make your point in two to three sentences. Max,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll not at you and you should probably wrap it up.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you'll see that you can end your statements

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<v Speaker 1>a lot earlier than you're ending them, Or Mary, your

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<v Speaker 1>emails need to be more professional. You can go through

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<v Speaker 1>and take out most of the exclamation points and slang

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<v Speaker 1>and emojis. We could go through one of your drafts

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<v Speaker 1>together and rewrite it if you'd like. I'm sure we

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<v Speaker 1>can still make it sound like you, but feel more

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<v Speaker 1>respectful for your clients. If you're feeling ambivalent about being clear,

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<v Speaker 1>put yourself in the other person's shoes. Consider what facts

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<v Speaker 1>and feedback you would want to know and how you

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<v Speaker 1>would like to hear it. Depending on the circumstances, you

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<v Speaker 1>can also ask the person whether they would like feedback

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<v Speaker 1>and whether this is a good time. But trust me,

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<v Speaker 1>I always want to know if I have spinach in

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<v Speaker 1>my teeth. A little Laura with a motion to the

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<v Speaker 1>mouth would probably work. If not say it, because then

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<v Speaker 1>the next people I'm talking to won't also be wondering

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<v Speaker 1>the same thing. In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,

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<v Speaker 1>or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura

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<v Speaker 1>vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

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