Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is that clear is kind. Don't convince yourself that
Speaker 1: it is nice to be vague or avoid giving feedback. Often,
Speaker 1: the most generous thing we can do is to tell
Speaker 1: the truth directly. So we have probably all been in
Speaker 1: a situation when a person with spinach stuck in her
Speaker 1: teeth keeps chatting and smiling with the nice people who
Speaker 1: pretend not to notice the spinach. We all justify our
Speaker 1: silence by telling ourselves we don't want to embarrass her
Speaker 1: by telling her it's there. And maybe that is fine
Speaker 1: at a party, But sometimes the feedback is more serious
Speaker 1: than a little spinach in the teeth. Maybe you've got
Speaker 1: a colleague who talks too much in meetings and has
Speaker 1: a tendency to ramble, but no one coaches him on
Speaker 1: that because no one wants to hurt his feelings. Or
Speaker 1: maybe someone sends emails that are way too informal for
Speaker 1: your industry and your manager has brought up the issue,
Speaker 1: but in a vague way that doesn't get the message across.
Speaker 1: You know, some blanket statement in a meeting that we
Speaker 1: all need to work on clear communication. Really, your colleague
Speaker 1: comes away thinking, yes, I am clear, and everyone likes
Speaker 1: my friendliness and effusiveness, not knowing people are cringing through
Speaker 1: every message. We might tell ourselves we are not direct
Speaker 1: because we want to spare the other person's feelings, But
Speaker 1: if the feedback wouldn't be delivered in a hurtful or
Speaker 1: humiliating way, then in truth, the actual motivation is to
Speaker 1: spare awkwardness for ourselves that is not considered of the
Speaker 1: other person at all. And here is a statistic that
Speaker 1: I make you pause. There is some evidence that women
Speaker 1: get less clear and actionable feedback at work than men
Speaker 1: do from their managers. That means women are losing out
Speaker 1: on chances to improve. Clear feedback shows that you are
Speaker 1: taking someone seriously because you want them to get the
Speaker 1: chance to do great things in the future. So, if
Speaker 1: there is something that needs to be said or made known,
Speaker 1: it is compassionate, respectful, and productive to communicate it directly. Now,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean it needs to be done in front
Speaker 1: of a lot of people or in any sort of
Speaker 1: mean way. It just needs to be clear, James, you
Speaker 1: need to share airtime in the meeting. See if you
Speaker 1: can make your point in two to three sentences. Max,
Speaker 1: I'll not at you and you should probably wrap it up.
Speaker 1: I think you'll see that you can end your statements
Speaker 1: a lot earlier than you're ending them, Or Mary, your
Speaker 1: emails need to be more professional. You can go through
Speaker 1: and take out most of the exclamation points and slang
Speaker 1: and emojis. We could go through one of your drafts
Speaker 1: together and rewrite it if you'd like. I'm sure we
Speaker 1: can still make it sound like you, but feel more
Speaker 1: respectful for your clients. If you're feeling ambivalent about being clear,
Speaker 1: put yourself in the other person's shoes. Consider what facts
Speaker 1: and feedback you would want to know and how you
Speaker 1: would like to hear it. Depending on the circumstances, you
Speaker 1: can also ask the person whether they would like feedback
Speaker 1: and whether this is a good time. But trust me,
Speaker 1: I always want to know if I have spinach in
Speaker 1: my teeth. A little Laura with a motion to the
Speaker 1: mouth would probably work. If not say it, because then
Speaker 1: the next people I'm talking to won't also be wondering
Speaker 1: the same thing. In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,
Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura
Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.