1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:21,479 Speaker 1: tip is that clear is kind. Don't convince yourself that 4 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: it is nice to be vague or avoid giving feedback. Often, 5 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: the most generous thing we can do is to tell 6 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: the truth directly. So we have probably all been in 7 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: a situation when a person with spinach stuck in her 8 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: teeth keeps chatting and smiling with the nice people who 9 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: pretend not to notice the spinach. We all justify our 10 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: silence by telling ourselves we don't want to embarrass her 11 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: by telling her it's there. And maybe that is fine 12 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: at a party, But sometimes the feedback is more serious 13 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: than a little spinach in the teeth. Maybe you've got 14 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: a colleague who talks too much in meetings and has 15 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: a tendency to ramble, but no one coaches him on 16 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 1: that because no one wants to hurt his feelings. Or 17 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 1: maybe someone sends emails that are way too informal for 18 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: your industry and your manager has brought up the issue, 19 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: but in a vague way that doesn't get the message across. 20 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 1: You know, some blanket statement in a meeting that we 21 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: all need to work on clear communication. Really, your colleague 22 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 1: comes away thinking, yes, I am clear, and everyone likes 23 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: my friendliness and effusiveness, not knowing people are cringing through 24 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: every message. We might tell ourselves we are not direct 25 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: because we want to spare the other person's feelings, But 26 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: if the feedback wouldn't be delivered in a hurtful or 27 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: humiliating way, then in truth, the actual motivation is to 28 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: spare awkwardness for ourselves that is not considered of the 29 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: other person at all. And here is a statistic that 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: I make you pause. There is some evidence that women 31 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: get less clear and actionable feedback at work than men 32 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: do from their managers. That means women are losing out 33 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: on chances to improve. Clear feedback shows that you are 34 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: taking someone seriously because you want them to get the 35 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: chance to do great things in the future. So, if 36 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: there is something that needs to be said or made known, 37 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:35,679 Speaker 1: it is compassionate, respectful, and productive to communicate it directly. Now, 38 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean it needs to be done in front 39 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: of a lot of people or in any sort of 40 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: mean way. It just needs to be clear, James, you 41 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: need to share airtime in the meeting. See if you 42 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: can make your point in two to three sentences. Max, 43 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,959 Speaker 1: I'll not at you and you should probably wrap it up. 44 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 1: I think you'll see that you can end your statements 45 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: a lot earlier than you're ending them, Or Mary, your 46 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 1: emails need to be more professional. You can go through 47 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: and take out most of the exclamation points and slang 48 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: and emojis. We could go through one of your drafts 49 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: together and rewrite it if you'd like. I'm sure we 50 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 1: can still make it sound like you, but feel more 51 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:18,960 Speaker 1: respectful for your clients. If you're feeling ambivalent about being clear, 52 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: put yourself in the other person's shoes. Consider what facts 53 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: and feedback you would want to know and how you 54 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: would like to hear it. Depending on the circumstances, you 55 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: can also ask the person whether they would like feedback 56 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 1: and whether this is a good time. But trust me, 57 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: I always want to know if I have spinach in 58 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: my teeth. A little Laura with a motion to the 59 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: mouth would probably work. If not say it, because then 60 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: the next people I'm talking to won't also be wondering 61 00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: the same thing. In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks 62 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. 63 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, 64 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura 65 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. 66 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, 67 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.