WEBVTT - Reckless Replay: Baby, Slowww Down! 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.160 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:16.720 and the Black Effects. Oh shit, be back on the air. 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:20.280 Happy New Year, everybody. We're back with yet another Can't 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:23.000 Fully Reckless episode with your girl just hilarious. What do 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:25.600 I do? I'd be fixing thats same as I did 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:27.800 last year. I'm gonna do the same shit this year. 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:30.280 We're just gonna keep on getting bigger and better, keep 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:34.120 on growing the podcast audience. As I came in number five, 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:37.120 the Great Brother Charlemagne to God, let me know that 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:40.320 our podcast came in number five, y'all. We in top 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:44.520 motherfucking five. That's nice, that's amazing, and we're gonna jump 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:46.360 straight into it. We got a voice note for the 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.839 top of the year, y'all know I love those. But 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.120 we also got some paragraphs. Y'all. People know these people 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:54.280 voices and they ain't trying to get caught. All right, 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:56.120 let's jump straight into it. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:00.080 Hey, guys, I just want to say, like, I'm a 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:02.480 huge fan of yours. You know, I've been watching for years, 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:05.839 and you know I love you. I love your your work, 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.320 I love all that you're doing. I just wanted to 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:12.639 get to get that out the way, but I really 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:16.759 need advice, Like, oh my god. So I've been basically 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:21.440 I've been dating this guy for the last how long 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.960 has it been? Four months? And we kind of moved 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:29.720 pretty quickly because I noticed that, you know, like he's 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.240 a really good person. I just came out of a 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:36.480 not just but earlier this year, you know, I came 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:44.199 out of a toxic relationship with my daughter's die and 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:45.800 when I met him, it was like a breath of 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:49.920 fresh air. So things kind of moved quickly to the 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:51.720 point where I invited him. 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:56.920 To move in with me. Okay, girl, That's where a. 0:01:56.960 --> 0:02:04.960 Problem started, because I noticed that he has a lot 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:13.400 of issues. He has issues with ed, like he can't 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:18.160 stay up, and he didn't tell me that at first, 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:20.880 so I had to find that I had to find 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.280 that out on my own, Like this is not something 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.960 that he disclosed to me. He claims that he didn't 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:28.440 know about it and that he thought it was just 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:33.880 every once in a while. I also realize that he's 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:38.040 a little bit so like not saying that he's done, 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:43.560 but like he doesn't stimulate me mentally. I will say, 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.360 the good about him is that he's a really good person, 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:50.320 like genuinely a good person at heart. I just feel 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:53.959 like I'm not four hundred percent happy. But at the 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:57.560 same time, like I'm trying to reason with myself, Like, 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:01.120 you know, nobody's perfect. You know, if you find somebody 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:05.400 who is willing to fight for you and willing to 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:08.440 work things out with you, then stick with them. But 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.120 he is, like, he's willing to work things out, and 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.640 you know, we talk about things and you know, but 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.720 I'm just not satisfied in the bedroom. And on top 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:25.080 of not being satisfyed in the bedroom, he's also like 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.600 he also calls himself an entrepreneur, but he's not bringing 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:31.160 in enough money to the point where for the last 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:34.480 three months that he's been by the last month that 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:37.280 he's been living with me, he didn't have his affiant 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:42.080 and I was a problem. So I have kids. He's 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:45.640 good with my kids, you know, like he's a good, good, 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:48.800 genuinely good person. But I'm just trying to I don't know, 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:52.560 like I guess I'm asked. My question is I'm sorry, 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.080 I know this is kind of long. I was trying 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:56.680 to give you all the details, but my question is, like, 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:00.000 is it worth staying in this relationship? 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:01.640 Like the ed problem. 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:04.520 He told me that he you know, goes to the 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:06.000 doctor and try to see what's. 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:06.440 Going on with it. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:09.920 And you know, he did say that he would get 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:12.520 a real job, like a regular job or whatever, not 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.160 just doing uber. So you know, these are things I 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:18.320 guess that can be worked on, but I just don't 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:22.480 have the patience and I don't want to settle, So 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:26.240 I just I guess I need your here input on 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:29.560 what would you do or do you think that these 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:33.480 are things that you know that I can I should 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:35.880 be more patient with. 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:41.920 Well, I appreciate you first of all for even having 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:45.880 the balls, you know, well, having the hearts. Sorry, trying 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.080 to get better with how I talk, trying to get 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:53.359 more professional, you know, thank you for even sharing because 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:58.200 this is in a lot of cases a very prideful 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.520 thing like people don't like to especially women, especially us. 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:05.560 You know, we don't like to put all of our 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:08.320 business out there on front street. Because this does seems 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:10.400 like a big It seemed like a big mistake that 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:14.520 you made. Mistake. Won I'm not saying the relationship is 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.719 a mistake. Let me be very careful. I'm saying the 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:21.400 mistake was moving him into quick Now I do understand 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:22.839 you said you had just got out of a really 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:27.560 toxic relationship with your ex. I believe you said your 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:32.039 kid's dad your ex, and you were a bit vulnerable. 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:34.279 I'm gonna go ahead and say you were vulnerable, maybe 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:37.320 even a bit gullible, you know, because who doesn't want 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.640 love even, you know, especially after a bad relationship or 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.680 not a bad relationship, but you know, just a relationship 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:46.640 that didn't work. Because I know it couldn't have been 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:48.640 all bad because you were there, and that was a 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.479 long term relationship that you had gotten out of. I 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:55.080 think you didn't give yourself enough time to heal. I 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:59.159 think you guys should have just continue to date, because 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:03.440 dating is how you get to know someone, and it 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:07.120 doesn't matter how long that takes. You have to get 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.840 to know someone before just moving them in and then 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:13.880 it's not just you, it's you and your kids. Now again, 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.720 I am not calling your relationship a mistake. You just 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.600 made the mistake, in my opinion, of moving him in. 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:25.000 Because what made you move him in after four months, well, 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:28.039 after three months of dealing with him? No, after one month? Right, 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.159 because you said y'all been dealing with each other, y'all 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:32.640 been together. You know, y'all been dealing with each other 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:36.880 for four months and he's been living with living with 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:42.240 you for three months. So one month and you moved 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:44.880 him in. Now I'm repeating this back to you because 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:47.719 most of the time, when I repeat somebody's mess back 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:51.960 to them, they easily can see it. They easily can 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.440 see the mistake that they made before I even give 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:57.600 the advice. Sometimes you just got to hear your shit back, 0:06:57.720 --> 0:06:59.600 you know what I mean. And that's what makes all 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:01.600 the different friends. You know, when you hear it out loud, 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:03.640 when you hear it coming from somebody else, and it's 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:06.320 kind of easier to judge it or even give advice 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:08.600 if it was someone else going through it, But it's you, 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:11.000 So me repeating it back to you should make you 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:14.880 be like, oh shit, yeah, this is crazy, but we've 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:18.360 all done it. Well. I ain't done that part, but 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:22.800 I've definitely moved too quickly, you know, fast and rapid 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.800 with a guy that I barely even knew. If you 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:28.280 love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.800 be right back. Okay, So let's get into the eden. 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:35.520 When he moves in, you notice that sex is a 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:38.600 problem because he can't keep it up. Now, you said 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:42.200 that is something that you had to find out. No man, Well, 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:43.840 I'm not gonna say no man, but a lot of 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:46.040 men ain't gonna let you know that they can't get 0:07:46.080 --> 0:07:48.240 it up. You understand what I'm saying, because a lot 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.920 of men don't even have the answer to why they 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:53.160 can't get it up. You know, it could be a 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:56.040 medical issue, it could be something going on there, It 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.600 could be a disconnect, it could be something mentally. And 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.080 he has to get those answers himself. He has to 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.200 go to a doctor, he has to go to a therapist. 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:05.320 Something he has to do to take care of himself. 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.840 Like he said, he didn't even know. He probably didn't 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:10.800 know he had the problem, but he probably thought that 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:13.960 it was because of the person. You know, a lot 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:17.240 of men don't really know, and instead of going to 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:21.000 find out if it's something medical or not, they just 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:24.560 assume may maybe it's the last bitch. Maybe maybe it's 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:27.320 this woman that's just not getting me up. Maybe you know. 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:32.520 So I don't I can't say that I blame him 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:36.319 for not telling you because he probably didn't even know why. 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.960 You know, he didn't know that it would happen with you, 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:43.360 you know. Now that's still no excuse for him not 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:45.839 going to get checked out. Yes, that can be worked on, 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:49.320 all right, that's a big thing. Not being sexually satisfied 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.560 in the bedroom does play a big part in a relationship. Okay, 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.520 moving on. You said he calls himself an entrepreneur? What 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.760 does he do? Not even being nosy, It's just things 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:04.120 that I want to know so I can help you better. 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:07.520 Is it something that does he have a business that 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:11.840 you do believe in that you do believe with some 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:16.360 investing or some hard work, or some more patience or 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:22.000 some more building, the right resources can flourish and take 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.679 care of him and you, you know, and or his half. 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.640 You know what I'm saying. Is it something that can 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.679 be a very lucrative business? Is it something you know 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:34.120 or is he or is it something along the lines 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:35.840 of Oh, I'm just gonna be a rapper, you know, 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.720 and hoping my music kick off, which can also happen 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.280 these days. You hear this shit that's coming out now, shit, 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:43.160 you ain't even gotta know how to rap to become 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:46.520 a rapper, so, you know, so not judging if he is, 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.160 if it is something that way I'm just saying, because 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.040 you can't really shit on somebody's dreams unless you do 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:54.120 honestly see it for what it is. And it ain't 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.480 gonna work, you know, because a lot of people need 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.240 somebody real. You know, you don't need nobody that's gonna 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.160 shit on you, but you need somebody that's gonnakeep it 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.840 real with you. Look, baby, no, no, no, no no. This 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.640 bakery that you're trying to open the market right now 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:08.360 and ain't the time for that. So what we need 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:11.240 to do is get a fucking job until you can 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:14.520 fund your business idea, until you can get your business 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.160 off the ground. Because I got kids, and if you 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:19.800 with me, that mean we got kids, because you live 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.040 here with us. Now we're in a relationship. This is secure. 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:25.079 This is something that we have to move forward. Bills 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:28.640 are today your entrepreneurship and ain't kicking off the way 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:31.280 that you thought it would or the way that it 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.640 should be right now. You know, how long has he 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:37.040 been an entrepreneur? Does he give real effort into trying 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.040 to be an entrepreneur whatever it is, you know what 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:42.480 I'm saying. Do you see him actually working toward a goal? 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:45.800 You know, does he have ambition. You said, he is 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:47.880 a genuinely good person. He's good with your kids. That's 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:51.240 a plus. A lot of men who don't have kids 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:56.000 don't typically do well in situations with children, you know, 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.920 and households with children, because they don't have the experience. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.480 It's not most men. I'm not putting a percentage on 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:07.280 the men, but that's just from experience and what I know. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:09.880 So he seems to have a great deal of patience 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:12.840 because he don't even have no kids and you got kids. Okay, 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:17.000 you did say he drives Uber. Now I know Uber 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:18.520 can get you some money. You know, I got a 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:20.280 bunch of little cousins that do it. I know a 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.160 lot of people that do Uber. You know, you hit 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:25.320 them peak times and you get get on that road 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:27.680 at a certain time, and you put in that work. 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.840 You can make some money. But I understand it's not 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:34.640 enough for you. Okay, And then you know, you see 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.800 M conflicted because now I understand I've been in your 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:40.080 place before, I've been in your shoes. I'm not going 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:42.960 to sit here and just act like I haven't. You know, 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:47.800 you're conflicted right now because you're not happy in the bed, 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:52.080 You're not happy with him financially because you feel like 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:56.719 you just move this guy in and while you do 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.160 like him, while you do love him, you know, maybe 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.640 even love him, you feel like you made a mistake. 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:04.560 That's just what it is, and you just try and 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:06.280 not to say it, try not to look at it 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:10.560 that way. The good part is you're only four months in. Okay. 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:15.320 I like when you said nobody's perfect. No, nobody's perfect. 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:18.440 And yes, if you do find somebody that genuinely loves you, 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:20.640 genuinely is a good person, because it's hard to find 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.840 those people these days, then you do stick with it. However, 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.760 you do not settle. You just don't settle. Where was 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:30.160 he living before? Is there any chance that he could 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.640 go back there and you guys could start over? You 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.080 know what I'm saying, because what I don't want you 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:40.439 to do is settle, keep him in your house. And 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:45.559 you're unhappy, and you just praying on patience, praying that 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.240 one day at work, and then you're slowly but surely 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:51.000 getting miserable, and then you're starting to dislike him, and 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:52.800 now you're starting to hate him, and then you're starting 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.360 to resent him because that's not fair to him either. 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:57.680 It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.760 your kids because the longer he's there, he's building a 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:05.280 bond with them. Okay, but mommy's not happy. He wasn't 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:09.040 even around long enough for them to meet him and 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:13.240 live with him. Right. I'm just telling you, from mom 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:18.320 to mom, I've done this, I've been in this before. Okay, 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.600 I'm not judging you, says, I'm just telling you, baby. 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:27.800 So even with that being said, you really don't see 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:32.640 a future here. You're trying to see a future here. Okay, 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:37.520 I would say, don't give up on it one hundred percent, 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.080 but sit down and have a real conversation with him. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:42.680 Sit down and have a real conversation with him, because 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.600 it ain't all on him. It's not you invited him 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.240 to move with you. Those were your words, that that 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.600 was an action that no man in his place could 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:56.000 refuse or would refuse. Shit. You know, now, if you 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.600 ask him, I bet he in love like a mother. 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.480 You know what I'm saying. He got a partner that's 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:05.760 helping him, that's understanding a situation. You of course, you 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.719 have beautiful children that he's created this beautiful bond with, 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.640 you know, probably making him want some kids of his own. 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:15.640 You know what I'm saying. And you seem like just 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:20.080 this a phenomenal woman. You do deserve more, but you 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.720 just made a mistake moving too fast, moving too quick. 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.320 It's okay to still heal because I bet you still 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:29.480 do things like compare him to your ex in some 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:33.120 ways when you weren't even happy in that relationship. Because 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:35.440 I've done it before. You know, we just start comparing 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.520 and we'll try to find the good and the last 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.600 relationship as it compares to what you're what's happening now, 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:45.440 what you're going through now, because I bet you said 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.440 it to yourself. I mean the nigga was toxic. The 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:50.600 last nigga was toxic, but I mean he could get 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:54.120 it up and he was getting money, but you still 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.240 wasn't happy. Okay, hold up, hold up, I know this 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:59.720 shit getting good, But listen to just a couple seconds 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.600 of a I'm marks you. If you love me, you'll listen. 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:09.240 Nobody has it all off top. Okay, I'm letting you 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:13.200 know that from experience. I'm not saying it won't get there, 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.120 because it can. You can have it all. You can 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:20.200 have whatever you want, manifest you can you can it's real. 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.760 You can have whatever you want when you meet your partner. No, 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.680 He and God always be at the top. But y'all 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:29.280 can build together and make it there together. If you 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.840 already there, shit, build him up and he can be 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.200 up there with you. If you meet a man that's 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:38.160 already there and you ain't there, shit, and he believes 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:39.960 in you and he loves you and he wants you, 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:44.000 he gonna build you up and you're gonna make it there. Okay, 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.000 you understand me. So I think it needs to be 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.760 a real, genuine conversation. And I know you probably don't 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:51.600 want to hurt his feelings because he is a good person. 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.360 He is a good man at heart, and there's nothing 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.880 wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being honest and 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:02.880 being opened that way probably make your relationship stronger. Tell 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:06.240 him be honest. Listen, I made a mistake. I was 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.440 just getting out of a relationship. I love you, I 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.840 really really want this to work. And if it's going 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:15.800 to work, I need you to understand and be open 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:18.560 minded enough to not take what I'm about to say 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:22.680 as insults. I'm not happy in the bedroom. That plays 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:26.720 the big part in our relationship, in any relationship. Okay, 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.600 But I do suggest that you go see something, Go 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.400 see a doctor, go see go see if there's something 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.440 you can do about it. You know, because as painful 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:39.160 as it is for me, I know it's uncomfortable for you. 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:40.880 I know it's painful for you to not be able 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:43.240 to get it up. Shit, you want a nut just 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.280 as bad as I want a nut. You know what 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:49.880 I'm saying. Death is not one sided. It's both sided. Girl. 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:51.920 I know he's feeling it. If you're feeling it, you 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:54.800 know how you think he feeling. If you feeling that way, 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:57.200 you know what I'm saying. And then move on to 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:01.760 the finances and be serious and your ground. Don't be rude. 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.720 No man wants you to talk down because he probably 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:07.639 already feel less than because he can't provide. You understand 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:10.600 what I'm saying. But again, this was your invitation, So 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:12.880 you just keep that shit a huntred with him too. 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:17.160 And you do that and tell him this entrepreneur thing 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.359 that you're doing. Now, I don't call it a thing. Lord, shit, 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:21.600 he won't be like, what the fuck? Okay, Now, don't 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.800 minimize it like that, you say, I understand you are 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:28.080 an entrepreneur, but I need for you to get a 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.040 job until you able to get this business off the 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.560 ground and up and running. You know what I'm saying. 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.440 But it can't happen here. You can still come past 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.959 and see the kids, You can still come over. But 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:40.679 I think I made the mistake of moving too fast 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:44.960 and inviting you to move in. And I appreciate what 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:49.920 you do for me. I appreciate how you stimulate me mentally. Actually, 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:54.560 damn you said, he don't Okay, Okay, Yeah, this conversation 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.720 needs to happen because I don't want you to start 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.639 resenting him, because that's not fair. It's not fair to 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.560 you and him more the kids. So he needs to go, 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.960 He needs to move out, and there needs to be 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:07.919 a distance created. And just in that part, in that 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.200 aspect of it. Now, is he the type to blow 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:12.400 up on your ass? Is he the type that would 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.639 even understand? That's why I'm saying, ask him to be 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.960 open minded if he it isn't already, you know, because 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.800 some men won't be able to take that, but some 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:24.840 men are. Some men are able to take the hard, 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:28.240 cold truth because at times, I know it's cliche, but 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:31.760 the truth does hurt. But it also matters to tell 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.960 the truth, because if you lie, both of y'all gonna 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.520 be unhappy. It ain't gonna it ain't gonna work out 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:38.080 at the end, because you're gonna blow up one day 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:40.440 and you're gonna say some things that I damn sure 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:44.680 know you're gonna regret. Have the conversation while still early. 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:48.919 Four months is not that long. Okay, Please do that 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.840 for yourself, your sanity, and your baby's too, you know, 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.160 and do that for him too, just for the sake 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.400 of breaking a heart and for the sake of breaking 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:02.240 your own heart because you know you're not happy. Check 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:05.120 back in with me. Let me know, girl, Okay, moving on. 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.960 I lost my fiance about a month ago. Shit, wasn't 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.680 doing the best for months, she would say. I wasn't 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:16.359 making her happy, wasn't a great father at times, rarely 0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:19.879 having sex. Long story short of female message me sending 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:23.840 me picks. I sent one back next morning. Fiance seen it. 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:29.199 Damn We split shortly after that after the picture. Okay, 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:32.159 this girl is my life. We got a daughter, and 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.400 she's there for my other kids. How do I get 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:37.000 her back? First of all, nigga, you ain't even let 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:39.840 me know. Shit, you just you're leaving some shit out. 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:41.800 There's some other shit that you done did ain't nobody 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:46.000 uh uh? Your fiance ain't gonna leave you just because 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.520 she's seeing a bitch sent a picture to your phone. 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:51.639 You've been doing something else, and I ain't even gonna 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.840 take your shit until you open up all the way 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:55.800 up and let me know what you did. I ain't 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:59.200 playing with you. I am not playing. This is crazy. 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:01.440 You gonna send me this little bit of shit. I'm 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:04.040 gonna read it again. I lost my fiance about a 0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:06.840 month ago. Shit wasn't doing the best for months, she 0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:09.560 would say. I wasn't making that happy, wasn't a great 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:13.439 father at times, rarely having sex. Long story short, how 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:15.959 fuck you're gonna say? Long story short? And the story 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:19.399 already fucking short. Long story short of female message me 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:22.560 sending me picks. I sent one back next morning. Fiance 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:25.600 seen it. We split shortly after that. This girl is 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:27.919 my life, got a daughter, and she there for my 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:30.640 other kids. How do I get her back? You tell 0:20:30.640 --> 0:20:34.680 a motherfucking truth about everything, So help you God, because 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:37.000 ain't nobody sitting here believe I ain't believing this shit. 0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:39.879 I'm not believing it. That you can come back, and 0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:43.399 you can send me take your time, take your time, 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:46.359 open up to me and tell me what happened, because 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:48.200 you ain't gonna get her back, like this is shit, 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.600 This is probably how you lost them, all short and 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:53.320 shit and nonchalant, like you don't give a damn you 0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.159 don't really want her back, and this is crazy. You 0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:59.560 sent me this same message May twenty fourth, sending me 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:03.560 the same shit December eighteenth. All right, so that was 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:07.480 like what six months ago? Yeah, this was seven months ago, 0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:09.479 and then you came back and sent it again. So 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:15.119 you still wanna obviously, but the dates then changed. I 0:21:15.160 --> 0:21:17.359 know the dates changed. You sent you copying and paste 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:19.480 and sent the same shit. So you ain't got a 0:21:19.560 --> 0:21:22.119 back yet, and you ain't going to with this nonsense. 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.600 Try again. I better open up my DM for carefully 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:30.199 reckless and see a longer message. Shit, send a voice note, 0:21:30.880 --> 0:21:33.040 talk to me, because this ain't gonna get you nowhere 0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:35.119 with me, I say, she don't take your ass back 0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:37.440