Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. We all deal
Speaker 1: with a lot of stuff in our lives and things
Speaker 1: are hard, things are challenging. But I gotta say, I'm
Speaker 1: a tough cookie. I can usually get through anything. But
Speaker 1: I'm just going to say, back to school, Oh boy,
Speaker 1: what might be the most challenging thing in life. It's
Speaker 1: a bold statement. Fact. Back to school is really hard.
Speaker 1: It's not easy. It's it's not for the week. So
Speaker 1: my kids went back to school, which is a blessing
Speaker 1: and a curse because I'm kind of you know, there's
Speaker 1: there's two camps, right, there's the parents that are like,
Speaker 1: oh god, they're back to school. I can get my
Speaker 1: stuff done, my kids around, I gotta say, And even
Speaker 1: though I wake up at like six am, it's that
Speaker 1: actual like getting ready and getting them out the door
Speaker 1: that I hate. So summer to me, summer break is
Speaker 1: joyous because I'm like, Okay, that's kind of my knee
Speaker 1: time is I wake up early and I can get
Speaker 1: my stuff done and they're still sleep I'm blessed with
Speaker 1: good sleepers, Thank goodness. You know. I talk to other
Speaker 1: parents and they still have kids even when they get older.
Speaker 1: That you know, wake up at five am, six am.
Speaker 1: My kids sleep like if I didn't wake them, which
Speaker 1: during summer I'm like, quiet, what don't wake the beast?
Speaker 1: It's sleep all day, which during summer I'm mad at that.
Speaker 1: But back to the grind. I will toot my own
Speaker 1: horn for a moment, which you know I don't like
Speaker 1: to do. But five kids back to school, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's wow. It's a lot so this year in particular,
Speaker 1: and this is the first year I have five kids
Speaker 1: with five drop offs and pickups, which doing alone is
Speaker 1: not humanly possible. And their dad helps, but he's working,
Speaker 1: and so we have to coordinate schedules. And primarily I'm well,
Speaker 1: I'm the Uber driver. I am a glorified Uber driver,
Speaker 1: adding that to my resume, call myself Torri of all trades,
Speaker 1: and now I am I'm a great driver. Ill I mean,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I do five drop offs this year. Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Tori, and I do five draws, which you know,
Speaker 1: some out there might say, okay, well you have five
Speaker 1: drop offs, but it's the time crunch. It's the you know,
Speaker 1: it's not on Tory time, which is I'm if you
Speaker 1: know me, you know, if you know you know, I'm
Speaker 1: notoriously late to everything, but school waits for no one.
Speaker 1: They man don't care, you know, they're minute late. They're charty,
Speaker 1: So don't want to be a tardy to the party,
Speaker 1: the school party. So it's gonna not that you care.
Speaker 1: Run you through my drop offs because they're kind of
Speaker 1: not humanly possible, which is something I'm grappling with. So
Speaker 1: five schools and they're not like right around the corner
Speaker 1: from each other, so I have to, uh, I have
Speaker 1: to go. Wow, I have to get my youngest to
Speaker 1: his elementary school. He's the first drop off. I have
Speaker 1: to then get my next two to their middle school.
Speaker 1: I then have to get my daughter Stella to her
Speaker 1: high school, and then my son Liam to his high school.
Speaker 1: And they have really odd times for drop offs and picks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's like one of them is like at eight fifty.
Speaker 1: It's like eight fifty. Okay, it's not eight thirty, it's
Speaker 1: not nine, it's eight fifty. Cool one is eight thirty five.
Speaker 1: The challenging one is one is at eight thirty and
Speaker 1: one is at eight thirty five. But uh, if I
Speaker 1: could like time warp or fly or you know, just
Speaker 1: like what they do in Bewitch, which your no, and
Speaker 1: like you're there or going back to my bestie William Shatner,
Speaker 1: beat me up, Scottie, be me to school. It just
Speaker 1: it's not humanly possible to get from somewhere at drop
Speaker 1: off at eight thirty to a school that is fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes away by eight thirty five. So yeah, you know
Speaker 1: the tricks for that, let me know. And their public school,
Speaker 1: so you know, no one's you know, it's not some
Speaker 1: like fancy private school where they're like, okay, misspelling cool,
Speaker 1: we understand the challenge. We'll make an exception because you
Speaker 1: are physically geographically not able to do that. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: they don't wait for anyone. You know, there's thousands of kids,
Speaker 1: and it's like you got to be in class. So
Speaker 1: technically one starts to eat thirty one starts to eat
Speaker 1: thirty five, but you have to be like in the classroom,
Speaker 1: in your seat. It's time. I'm here, wow, And my
Speaker 1: kids are stressed. They're like I'm gonna be late and
Speaker 1: I'm like cool. Uh so, so yeah, that's something I'm
Speaker 1: dealing with. So what a week it's been figuring that out,
Speaker 1: which I just can't figure out and it's so odd
Speaker 1: the pickup times. I told someone this and they were like, wait,
Speaker 1: did you say that right? I was like, yeah, one
Speaker 1: of the pickups it's at three twelve, three twelve? Why twelve? Ok,
Speaker 1: you have to pick them up at three twelve, not again,
Speaker 1: not three, not three ten even not three fifteen, not
Speaker 1: three thirty, three twelve, Okay, cool on it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm trying to work that out. As the robot,
Speaker 1: I am not and I can't make magic happen. Well
Speaker 1: I wish I could, but so that's that's my challenge.
Speaker 1: And you know, I know we're all dealing with the
Speaker 1: same challenge getting kids back to school, getting back to
Speaker 1: a routine, and then it's just, oh my gosh, I'm
Speaker 1: getting them ready for back to school. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what at this point, I'm an older mom.
Speaker 1: I just don't have it in me. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: are the basics? What do you need? You know, they
Speaker 1: send you lists and you get all these emails, you
Speaker 1: get fifty million emails and you're just like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm all. First of all, my inbox takes school out
Speaker 1: of it is filled with spam, and I'm tech challenge,
Speaker 1: So tell myself that so I can be lazy and
Speaker 1: not actually die into it and just do the work
Speaker 1: of getting all the spam removed. But I mean I
Speaker 1: get spam for the weirdest things. And you, guys, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, I mean you would think someone hears us, right,
Speaker 1: is it Alexa? Alexa? Is it Siri? Whatever? Is it? Amazon?
Speaker 1: Hears us? I don't know our computers, our phones, they
Speaker 1: somehow know what we look into and send us that.
Speaker 1: You guys, I don't even watch porn, Like I get
Speaker 1: so much porn spam you would think for the amount
Speaker 1: of poop I talk about, I would get like mad
Speaker 1: spam and like lots of emails from like you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Keptobismo or like emodium or or something
Speaker 1: something like that. But no, I get like weird things.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, how to increase the size of
Speaker 1: your penis? And I was like, listen, I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm a check who's got some big balls, not literally,
Speaker 1: but I don't have a penis, Like I don't need
Speaker 1: to increase the size of my penis. Thank you. Can
Speaker 1: we get that removed? And it's just like all of
Speaker 1: those things like can't get it up. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what they think. You know, I am a
Speaker 1: woman in menopause, but there's nothing to get up, like
Speaker 1: I'm already I'm here. But anyway, first of all, so
Speaker 1: I get like tons of that crap. So I'm just
Speaker 1: like delete, delete, delete. And then you have the school emails,
Speaker 1: and you know they probably don't think most have five kids,
Speaker 1: so you know, they're like, these are really important. You
Speaker 1: have to read every single email. And I'm inundated by
Speaker 1: emails daily, by so many things saying poor me here.
Speaker 1: You know this is I chose to have these five beings,
Speaker 1: and I'm in it for the long run till very
Speaker 1: data least. So yeah, that's my current life. You know,
Speaker 1: not to mention work. I mean, god forbid, you're not
Speaker 1: just a mom or a dad, you know, doing the
Speaker 1: drop offs and doing the apparently things. You might actually
Speaker 1: have a job or you know, or a few four
Speaker 1: or five or you know, so still doing all of that.
Speaker 1: And the people are like, oh, I know, you know,
Speaker 1: you're going through a divorce, going through a lot of stuff. Personally,
Speaker 1: where's your me time? Like me time? Are you a
Speaker 1: kidding me? Like I wouldn't even have time for me
Speaker 1: time if I tried, but you know, it's just it's
Speaker 1: a whole other thing. And then you know what I
Speaker 1: do envy a little bit, like moms are like, oh okay,
Speaker 1: And then I did a drop off and I got
Speaker 1: to the gym or I got to pull outies got
Speaker 1: to yoga, and I'm like, I did you take a moment,
Speaker 1: I do a deep breath to acknowledge how nice that sounds. Yep,
Speaker 1: but on the list future plans, but yeah, they're all
Speaker 1: back in school, so here you go. That's not gonna stop.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I should get some sort of is there
Speaker 1: like a special rewards program for like you know they
Speaker 1: have frequent Flyer miles, like if I got frequent driver
Speaker 1: miles for as much as I am on the road. Again,
Speaker 1: like I am on the road, So if you see
Speaker 1: me out there driving here, driven there, drop off, pickup,
Speaker 1: drop off, pickup. Well, I know Stella is a junior
Speaker 1: this year in high school, and it's just you see
Speaker 1: the kids going back and doing the things and making
Speaker 1: the friends and going through all of the stuff. And
Speaker 1: I want to say PTSD. I want to say it's triggering. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say it's PTSD. It's triggering. We
Speaker 1: all go back to when we were young. As much
Speaker 1: as things change, they don't change. It's the same thing.
Speaker 1: It's just you know, a different generation. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I finally, just when I think I have my day
Speaker 1: mapped out, I get the text because now she's a
Speaker 1: junior or so. They get off campus passes, you know,
Speaker 1: because a lot of them drive, and she you know,
Speaker 1: as long as you keep your grades up and your attendance,
Speaker 1: which I'm in charge of getting her there, not thirty right,
Speaker 1: thirty five cool? You know, she gets off campus lunch pass.
Speaker 1: And she said to me the other day, not said
Speaker 1: because you know, the only text at this point, that's fine,
Speaker 1: you know, I hate She was like, it was basically
Speaker 1: an so os and she was like, it's lunch. I
Speaker 1: didn't know, and all my friends have left campus and
Speaker 1: they're off, you know, having lunch. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: text them, can they come back for you? And she's like, no, Mom,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way. You know. This one's with
Speaker 1: this friend group, this one's with her boyfriend. And I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do because I can't eat lunch alone.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I feel your sister. Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever eaten lunch alone. That's a lie.
Speaker 1: And you know I don't lie. I ate lunch one time.
Speaker 1: I actually went to a sushi restaurant, sat at the
Speaker 1: bar and ate lunch alone one time. Oh it was scary,
Speaker 1: did it? And I, you know, as the mom, you
Speaker 1: feel like you have to be like you can do this,
Speaker 1: you can, you got this, you know, just you know
Speaker 1: she can be on her phone during lunch and you know,
Speaker 1: I was like, it's a beautiful day and thought, this
Speaker 1: book out there right now by La, what is happening?
Speaker 1: Ready for fall clothes? Nope? So hot here? But she uh,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, find a shady place, just
Speaker 1: be on your phone, don't look up. No one's I
Speaker 1: try to tell her everyone is in because I went
Speaker 1: through this my whole life thinking like you know, a
Speaker 1: people mad at me, or they looking at me like me,
Speaker 1: or they wondering what is she doing like? And I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what I've learned trying to learn.
Speaker 1: I tell myself this doesn't work. So Lisa, I'm telling her,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, everyone is in their own
Speaker 1: head about their own lives, like what we think that
Speaker 1: they're thinking. They're not thinking, they're thinking about themselves, So
Speaker 1: don't worry. Like, you know, there's thousands of kids on campus, like,
Speaker 1: you know, nobody is looking and being like that girl's
Speaker 1: sitting alone lunch. But so I told her that and
Speaker 1: she was like, no, no, I can't do that. And
Speaker 1: she said, Mama, I'm currently in the bathroom and she said, uh,
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here, you know, in a stall. And it
Speaker 1: all came crashing back to me and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I did that. And I said, well,
Speaker 1: I always try to find the silver lining. I don't
Speaker 1: like silver that much, you know, I like my techlics
Speaker 1: gold gold lining was blooming Gilver okay, Stella find the
Speaker 1: Gilver lining and god, I love mecalls Talus for the wind. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I guess I tracked. I was like, you know, at least,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I try not to because
Speaker 1: I feel like people don't like when they are sharing
Speaker 1: their feelings and their experience. When you say, well this
Speaker 1: happened to me or when I've been through this, you know,
Speaker 1: they're like it kind of shuts people down. They want
Speaker 1: to be acknowledged for what they're going through. But I
Speaker 1: did not do that, and I jumped right in. I said,
Speaker 1: been there, done it, Gilver Lining, Stella, you have a phone.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, thirty plus years ago I did this.
Speaker 1: There were times when I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: my friends aren't here today at school. Oh my good
Speaker 1: eat lunch with and I'm like, what do I do?
Speaker 1: What do I do? Head of the bathroom? You know,
Speaker 1: you sit on the toilet, toilet seat down, seating off,
Speaker 1: fallen and legs up because no one wants to walk
Speaker 1: through and be like who is that? Look at your shoes,
Speaker 1: you know, criss cross apple sauce on the toilet, seats
Speaker 1: lid down and you're on your phone Gilver Lining. When
Speaker 1: I did this thirty plus years ago, there were no phones,
Speaker 1: so I just had to sit there in silence, munching
Speaker 1: on my tuna sandwich. Oh my mom, it's tuna sage.
Speaker 1: So at least there was that, And you know me,
Speaker 1: I cope with jokes. And she didn't find it funny.
Speaker 1: She was like, mom, what do I do? So I
Speaker 1: was like, all right, how long's lunch? I can be
Speaker 1: there in fifteen minutes and she's like, yes, please please,
Speaker 1: So I drove to campus, and she came out and
Speaker 1: sat in the car and was able to eat her
Speaker 1: lunch in the car with me. But I mean, come on,
Speaker 1: no one wants to sit in the car eating their
Speaker 1: lunch with their mom. Let's be real. Even though as
Speaker 1: it was happening, I looked over and there was a
Speaker 1: young man sitting with his dad having a subway sandwich,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, that's so cool, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, it happens. She didn't find that cool, but
Speaker 1: you know, I'm you gotta just kind of try to
Speaker 1: walk them through it, even though it's like, oh, all
Speaker 1: the memories come back or you know, it's that thing
Speaker 1: like the classes. The classes were a big thing, big thing,
Speaker 1: like I didn't get this person in my class, and
Speaker 1: I was like, or this person's not very nice, this
Speaker 1: person gives me the stinking this person there's always a reason.
Speaker 1: And I try to say, you know what, like this
Speaker 1: is setting the stage for life, Like you you're gonna
Speaker 1: go to work one day and there's gonna be people
Speaker 1: that you don't like and people that don't like you,
Speaker 1: and people that are going to be not kind. Because
Speaker 1: that's life, whether you know, it's a toddler a teen
Speaker 1: or an adult human should know better and be kind
Speaker 1: of people. Sorry, not better at all. We all go
Speaker 1: through it, still have to go to work. You can't
Speaker 1: say like, oh my god, I'm so sorry I can't
Speaker 1: come into work. I can't be next to that person
Speaker 1: in a cubicle because they gave me the side eye
Speaker 1: and they told me like my shoes weren't cool. It's like, uh,
Speaker 1: imagine your boss is like, oh, I'm so sorry, let
Speaker 1: me move you right away. So that doesn't fly. I
Speaker 1: will be super grateful when my kids drive, because I'm
Speaker 1: circling back here. The drop offs, the pickups, I got
Speaker 1: five of them. You know, I was graced with five
Speaker 1: beautiful babies cut open five times for those c sections.
Speaker 1: Give me something back. The older ones help me drive,
Speaker 1: help me do drop offs and pickups and everything in between.
Speaker 1: So my oldest, who is a boy, he has no
Speaker 1: desire to get his license. He's like, nah, I'm cool,
Speaker 1: Nah you can drive me, Dad can drive me. Uber's fine,
Speaker 1: taking an Uber. And I'm like, what's so interesting to me?
Speaker 1: Because when I was young, it's still young in heart.
Speaker 1: I couldn't wait to get my license, Like when I
Speaker 1: could get my permit. I was on it. Want when
Speaker 1: I get my license. I got it the day I
Speaker 1: turned sixteen, and I was like out the door. I mean, granted,
Speaker 1: it was a whole different landscape. Granted it was a
Speaker 1: whole different golden world for me back then. And you know,
Speaker 1: I was lucky enough if I got a car, I
Speaker 1: got you know, all the bells and whistles. When I
Speaker 1: was growing up spelling, I still like wanted my license.
Speaker 1: And kids nowadays, I feel like there's we've made it
Speaker 1: so convenient for them to get places and do things
Speaker 1: and everything done for them. They don't care about getting
Speaker 1: their license. It's like, ugh, I care, help me, help you,
Speaker 1: which helps me. But my six year old Stella, she
Speaker 1: really wants her license, super driven driven I brought back around.
Speaker 1: Oh godns just don't stop. I you know what, in
Speaker 1: a different lifetime, I would have crushed it being an
Speaker 1: advertising like screw mad men, mad women. Oh there's something there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll work on that one. It's a good idea anyway.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I always got the puns. Any who, she
Speaker 1: really wants it, and I don't know. When I was young,
Speaker 1: they offered it in school or you could sign up.
Speaker 1: You went and sat in glass. Everything's online now and yeah,
Speaker 1: so she's still working through the driving, Like she's like, mom,
Speaker 1: there's fourteen chapters. I'm like, still get through it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: she's close to it. Then she gets her permit and
Speaker 1: then you know, one day, one day she's gonna be
Speaker 1: able to drive. Everybody so happy. I can't wait for
Speaker 1: that day. But until then that five drop offs, five pickups,
Speaker 1: and then the friends and then you know, at summer break,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm always thinking, like during summer, I
Speaker 1: always want to see my friends and hang out. My
Speaker 1: kids want to be with me. Grateful, but you know,
Speaker 1: they just hung out. But school back in session. Everybody's like, oh,
Speaker 1: can you take me to the mall? The mall, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, the mall's the bane of my existence. So
Speaker 1: I'd say eight thirty five drop off, Oh the mall.
Speaker 1: They all want to go to the mall, the mall.
Speaker 1: Can you drop me here? They don't want to go
Speaker 1: together now, and we're a close family unit. We still
Speaker 1: do everything together. But they have their friend groups and
Speaker 1: you know, the different ages, and they you know, can
Speaker 1: you drop me off here? Can you do this? Can
Speaker 1: they pick me up? And they have no concept of time.
Speaker 1: I don't know where they got that from. They think like, again,
Speaker 1: I can transport and just be like, oh yeah, sure
Speaker 1: I can do this and pick this one up and
Speaker 1: drop that one off and then go to this one's
Speaker 1: house and yeah, whoa, it's a lot. I sound like
Speaker 1: I'm bitter about this. I'm not. And if you don't
Speaker 1: have kids, you're like, what the folk is she talking about?
Speaker 1: But so anyway, this podcast, this episode of Misspelling, is
Speaker 1: brought to you by birth Control. Yeah, this is uh
Speaker 1: if you haven't had kids and you are like, what kids?
Speaker 1: And maybe I helped you out here, so yeah, this
Speaker 1: isn't planned b this is this is plan T. You're welcome.
Speaker 1: Every fan chuckled the.
Speaker 2: Van I chuckled, that was really fun.
Speaker 1: Well were then you had a question? I didn't have
Speaker 1: a question.
Speaker 2: I just sort of had a comment and I had
Speaker 2: the luck of being asked to pick up some children.
Speaker 1: For you got the car fol lines, yes, and say.
Speaker 2: That I've never seen anything like it in my life.
Speaker 2: Hundreds of cars lined up to pick up children. It's
Speaker 2: just not a civilized way of transporting children in my opinion,
Speaker 2: that people have to sit in their cars for like
Speaker 2: hours to pick up their children to drive them for
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes. So when I went to pick Stella up,
Speaker 2: I broke the rules. I didn't really know there were
Speaker 2: any rules. So I was like, Oh, there's a spot
Speaker 2: across the street, I'll just take that. And I'm sure
Speaker 2: it's still mortified running across the street to get in
Speaker 2: the car, the car that had cut in front of.
Speaker 1: Hundreds of other cars. But I don't know how you
Speaker 1: do it. I don't know how you do it. And
Speaker 1: you know, me nice to a fault, like, oh, what
Speaker 1: does everyone think of me? They're gonna be mad, They're
Speaker 1: gonna be Oh so I won't break rules, you know,
Speaker 1: So I, for instance, the drop off, which is the
Speaker 1: pickup you did the other day today? Gang off the freeway.
Speaker 1: It was lined up, it was lined up on you
Speaker 1: know you're getting off the freeway. You're in the far
Speaker 1: lane because you're gonna be making a right. It was
Speaker 1: all lined up, and I'm like, everyone's going to that
Speaker 1: high school. Oh my god, we actually found a roundabout way.
Speaker 1: You have you have to think outside the box, even
Speaker 1: though unfortunately education in schools won't want to put you
Speaker 1: in a box. But you have to be creative. I
Speaker 1: got that in folds and we took a side street.
Speaker 1: But if I had been that freeway lineup, not only
Speaker 1: was she going to be tardy, she was gonna be
Speaker 1: like hello, walking into period two. It would have been
Speaker 1: time to pick her up. I'm not kidding, it would
Speaker 1: have been. And I was just like, what is what
Speaker 1: is going on? And then once there's only so there's
Speaker 1: a freeway exit, there's a little roundabout street, but once
Speaker 1: you got on that main road, there's one way in,
Speaker 1: a long way out, and you got to get in that.
Speaker 1: There's no bypassing that. So if you're in line, you're
Speaker 1: in line, and you know she's going back and forth
Speaker 1: with her friends. Where are you in line? Where are you?
Speaker 1: And it's like it's just it.
Speaker 2: Is s fall.
Speaker 1: Oh that was like a fun sound creating my own asm.
Speaker 2: Why don't as parents, you guys, cardpull your children? Like
Speaker 2: is that even an option?
Speaker 1: I mean, what I saw blew my mind.
Speaker 2: I'm still in shock that that is what parents do
Speaker 2: every school day, to drop off and pick up like that.
Speaker 1: Then there's the crossing guards, God bless crossing guards across America.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you it's that's a hard job, and
Speaker 1: I feel like that's that's passion, that's dedication, that is
Speaker 1: kindness because you are literally standing there and there's parents
Speaker 1: getting gripped out and they're putting in not calling names, ruthan,
Speaker 1: but you know your life's on the line. Who are
Speaker 1: in the crosswalking, know what I mean? And you know
Speaker 1: they have the sign stop and they are escorting kids
Speaker 1: safely across the street. Cars stop, wait and you have
Speaker 1: to wait. And then when they flip and they're like
Speaker 1: yeah go, You're like, oh yeah, I men too. The loop.
Speaker 1: But I always think, you know, because I'm not a
Speaker 1: chess player, but life chess, I'm brilliant. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: know your audience, know your crossguard, and I've gotten to
Speaker 1: know them well, and so think kill them with kindness,
Speaker 1: you know. So I always smile, I always acknowledge them.
Speaker 1: I should, you know what, With all the time, free
Speaker 1: time I have on my hands here right, I would
Speaker 1: love to one day just be like, hey, man, what's
Speaker 1: your Starbucks order? Let me bring you something, you know,
Speaker 1: because I feel like that is a job that's not appreciated,
Speaker 1: that is a job that they're there. And I'm always
Speaker 1: curious what their backstory is because one of our schools
Speaker 1: there is a woman. But for the most part, all
Speaker 1: the schools there are men that I've encountered, and they're older.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, you know what, are they tired?
Speaker 1: Like I love people, so I love box stories and
Speaker 1: I mean, you know me, I always create. I'm a creator,
Speaker 1: I'm a producer. So in my head, I've already created
Speaker 1: their backstory. You know, where they've been, what they're doing,
Speaker 1: who they're with, you know, and then you know Aaron
Speaker 1: Spelling's daughter, I'm like, that's ad some intrigue and mystery.
Speaker 1: So there's only some scandal is going on yet on
Speaker 1: the things that get you through the day. But yeah,
Speaker 1: they and there's two of them. I broke them down
Speaker 1: for a few years at our elementary school and they're
Speaker 1: you know what they're like, what are they at Buckingham Palace?
Speaker 1: The guards there? What is that? That's that's the British guards.
Speaker 1: They're the guards. And that's the thing like when you
Speaker 1: see them, like they won't break character, right. You know,
Speaker 1: people go in and they're like they need to try
Speaker 1: to make them laugh and stuff, and they like nothing, right,
Speaker 1: they show no emotion, kind of like me, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do well. I'd be like, she's just kidding.
Speaker 1: Tell the queen no, no, no no. But the crossing guards
Speaker 1: stone cold like they they just are there and they
Speaker 1: are serious. They're seriously they're doing their job. They are
Speaker 1: protecting kids and parents, and I love that. But this
Speaker 1: is the first year that, you know, because I always
Speaker 1: I feel like parents are like no, no, no, they
Speaker 1: don't make eye contact. And I always, every single time
Speaker 1: when I'm going in, going out, I always turn to them.
Speaker 1: I smile and I say thank you. You know, I'm grateful.
Speaker 1: I don't say it in my head, communicate that with
Speaker 1: my smile in my eyes. Yeah. I want them to
Speaker 1: know that it's not unnoticed what they do for our children. Wait,
Speaker 1: do they respond this year though, to it our elementary
Speaker 1: I not, and I smile. They've made eye contact. They're
Speaker 1: broken the mold of cross guards and they're now like yeah,
Speaker 1: and they acknowledge me and smile back, and I'm like winning.
Speaker 1: But that loop. So I had a moment the other
Speaker 1: day where I was home and I was doing I
Speaker 1: think I was doing my podcast and I was doing OMG,
Speaker 1: and I had to get afterwards because then you know
Speaker 1: what schools like to fuck with us, and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: by the way, parents, working parents out there in the
Speaker 1: middle of the week on a hump day, you know
Speaker 1: that day we're supposed to be like, we got this,
Speaker 1: We're over the hump. We've climbed that mountain. Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday,
Speaker 1: that's supposed to be our day because it's all easy
Speaker 1: sailing after this Thursday Friday. They're like, nope, think again,
Speaker 1: we're gonna fuck with you now. So on Wednesdays it's
Speaker 1: called minimal dates. Yep, that's a thing that wasn't there
Speaker 1: when I went to school. And it's an early day.
Speaker 1: So you know, for all of us that work schedules,
Speaker 1: for all the parents out there, nine to five jobs,
Speaker 1: not only are we going to make it difficult for
Speaker 1: you know, drop offs and pickups, but now on Wednesdays
Speaker 1: we're going to be like, it's about three o'clock anymore.
Speaker 1: It's twelve today, yeah, and you're like, what what do
Speaker 1: you do? It's like in the middle of the day
Speaker 1: and there's no aftercare. Maybe it's some schools they have aftercare.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. My schools are public schools. There's no aftercare,
Speaker 1: so you can't say I'm so sorry I'm working. Can
Speaker 1: my child go into aftercare, you know for a couple hours,
Speaker 1: Like nope, this is the pickup time. You got fifteen
Speaker 1: thirty minutes, mac Or they're going the front office, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to the front office. I'm
Speaker 1: not human that if I have to go to the
Speaker 1: front office, I go right back to my like thirteen
Speaker 1: year old self, where I'm like terrified. I walk in,
Speaker 1: always make eye contact. My parents talk me well, but
Speaker 1: I make eye contact, but I will Yeah, I miss Michelle.
Speaker 1: I you know, it's still you know, I'm very proper,
Speaker 1: and I'm freaking terrified because I'm like, I'm a school.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I feel like I'm a kid, and
Speaker 1: the teachers, the staff, the principal. I'm constantly like, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm in trouble to hate me. What I do wrong
Speaker 1: is again, I don't like to break rules, conventional rules.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: the principal's office. Never been there. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do it now with my kids. But like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: walk in and I'm just like my hands are together,
Speaker 1: shoulders back. I'm very like prim and proper and turn
Speaker 1: into a thirteen year old version of myself wanting to
Speaker 1: like stay in line because I'm talking to my elders,
Speaker 1: who most of them are like younger than me. So
Speaker 1: it's like weird, it's such a weird echonomy, like what's happening?
Speaker 1: But yeah, so Wednesdays, Wednesdays are a bitch, like a
Speaker 1: Melrose tagline. No Mondays, it's We're Wednesdays nine two and
Speaker 1: oh Melrose was after and then switched to Monday. AnyWho
Speaker 1: the loop? Yeah, the loop? They don't. Yeah, you go
Speaker 1: into that one loop and they have staff there and
Speaker 1: teachers aides that are all you know, they are dedicating
Speaker 1: so much God blessed teachers and teachers' aides and everyone
Speaker 1: who works with the school system. They give so much, honestly.
Speaker 1: And you pull in though, and they it's you know,
Speaker 1: they got to keep you moving because of the hundreds
Speaker 1: of cars you've seen line up, lined up, So you
Speaker 1: pull into the loop. Once you're in that loop, they
Speaker 1: are like, move forward, get your kids, move forward, move forward,
Speaker 1: move forward. So you know, most parents are like strolling
Speaker 1: and chat and I want to be the chatters. People
Speaker 1: like me and I want to say hi to everyone,
Speaker 1: but I'm also panicked that, you know, I'm not following
Speaker 1: protocol and I got to move my car up. So
Speaker 1: going back, circling back, I was doing OMG, doing my
Speaker 1: podcast and I looked and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's time to go. I got to go to pick up.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, to be their inten minutes get there.
Speaker 1: I get there in ten minutes at this school that
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, and then there's the line. So I'm
Speaker 1: waiting in the line, waiting in the line, and it
Speaker 1: just again, timing isn't feasible with all my pickups and
Speaker 1: drop offs with all five, but you know, you add
Speaker 1: on the hundreds of cars waiting in the line to
Speaker 1: get in there, and you're like, okay, now I'm even
Speaker 1: more screwed. But I ran out of the house because
Speaker 1: I was like, do you get oh when I have
Speaker 1: to be in that line, because I have ten minutes
Speaker 1: to get to Stella. After that, it's fifteen minutes away
Speaker 1: go and I'm not gonna lie. I ran out of
Speaker 1: the house with no shoes and I got there and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, because if it's like
Speaker 1: a moving fluid day, they have someone there and they
Speaker 1: will open the car door and put him in the car.
Speaker 1: When I got there, it was like, ooh, mad house again.
Speaker 1: First week weeks of school and things are not running
Speaker 1: smoothly yet. So I got there and I see Bo,
Speaker 1: and first of all, I was like, oh, look at Bo.
Speaker 1: He's a big man on campus now because Finn just
Speaker 1: moved on to middle school this year. So Bo has
Speaker 1: no siblings at his elm ntry, so he has to
Speaker 1: like said for himself, you know before be like the
Speaker 1: sibling picks the other one up and the older one
Speaker 1: and walks theto the car. And yeah, so Bo's just
Speaker 1: like he's in first grade. He's thrust out there. He's
Speaker 1: the gladdest dinosaur backpack, one of those wheelly ones with
Speaker 1: rappets in it. Love you Amazon super cheap too, just
Speaker 1: like anything and everything so Amazon Prime. We got here
Speaker 1: in a day because I'm not a playing I didn't
Speaker 1: think ahead before school started. Anyway, I get there, I
Speaker 1: see Bo and he is in a circle with friends
Speaker 1: and he's chatting and I'm doing that mad mom wave
Speaker 1: and I'm like, see if he sees me? And you
Speaker 1: d have seen me because you love me? Were in
Speaker 1: my eyes and then kept looking and that is like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're like hoy, and he just like looks
Speaker 1: and looks past you and keeps looking like as if
Speaker 1: you're like not there. And I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: he has to see me. He has to start to
Speaker 1: walk towards the car. I have no shoes on. I
Speaker 1: can't get out of the car. And I look forward
Speaker 1: and they're like, move up, move up, we got a line,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god. Panic. So I full
Speaker 1: on felt like I pulled a Brittany moment. I jumped
Speaker 1: out of the car, no shoes on, and just like
Speaker 1: ran to him and I'm like, you know, you got
Speaker 1: to you gotta go in nice always a positive before
Speaker 1: and negative. And I was like, hy buddy, what's your day.
Speaker 1: You're having fun. Let's get the car, you know kind
Speaker 1: of thing. But you know, and uh and in my head,
Speaker 1: which again as I tell Stella, think about their own stuff,
Speaker 1: they're not looking at you. They're not Now. I was
Speaker 1: to spelling, running at full speed, sweating, panicked, holding up
Speaker 1: a line at a public school. Everyone was looking at me.
Speaker 1: Let's be honest, with no shoes, with no shoes and
Speaker 1: all I know is. I was like, of course, visual me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, Britney spears in the gas station,
Speaker 1: no shoes, like walking, Oh my gosh, all those false headlines.
Speaker 1: This toy's been homeless, Oh my god, like you know,
Speaker 1: down her luck, you know, and now she's walking the
Speaker 1: streets no shoes. This girl has lost it. Oh, not
Speaker 1: to mention, it's like one hundred degrees right now. So
Speaker 1: my tootsies were burning this. If all this fails, I'll
Speaker 1: never be able to go on feet Finder now yeap,
Speaker 1: my soul's are born up. But that's the whole other story.
Speaker 1: I'll think about that later. But yeah, yeah, and I know,
Speaker 1: I know people were like, h yeah, I knew she'd
Speaker 1: come undone. Obviously, I'm still thinking about it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so I grabbed him. You can grab him, like come on,
Speaker 1: come on, come on, because he's got the wheelie, so
Speaker 1: you know he's doing fine. But you know, my people
Speaker 1: criticize me on social media. Someone zoomed in and people
Speaker 1: say this all the time. No one's looking at that,
Speaker 1: no one's looking I'm a detailed person to begin with,
Speaker 1: as you know, but people, I'm like people screenshots stories,
Speaker 1: they zoom in on stuff they find the weirdest thing
Speaker 1: that everyone's like, no one's ever gonna notice that. They notice.
Speaker 1: So always in the back of my head, someone was like,
Speaker 1: hits are hard on their shoes. We know that. And honestly, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what people think of me. I'm a
Speaker 1: normal mom. Like my kid has one bear, you know,
Speaker 1: he has one bear of crocs. He wears a home.
Speaker 1: He has to have ten shoes for school. He has
Speaker 1: one pair of sneakers and he's worn them ragged. He
Speaker 1: just bought a new pair for the school year, but
Speaker 1: I can't forget last year when piece of his like
Speaker 1: I mean they were Nike, they were chic oh yellow
Speaker 1: and black, they're sweets. Anyway, he like was harming on them.
Speaker 1: He plays, he runs, and that is one pair of sneakers,
Speaker 1: and you know, it was like ripping up in the front.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh my god, Like, what's
Speaker 1: wrong with you as a mom? Buy your kid a
Speaker 1: new pair of shoes. You know, I can't believe you
Speaker 1: let your kids go out lips. This is horrific, Like
Speaker 1: torn up shoes. I'm like what I mean, I'm like what,
Speaker 1: But I'm like, oh, shoot, holding onto that one comment.
Speaker 1: So hey, whoever put that comment on my Instagram, I
Speaker 1: still think about you boo anyway. So I'm like, oh, great,
Speaker 1: first that, now I'm like run across the schoolyard on
Speaker 1: public street with no shoes. How is your week,