Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim, and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminol and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 3: Do you wanna welcome you back home?
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it?
Speaker 3: We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 3: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Ride with Karen and Chris?
Speaker 1: Welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks And this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 1: Hi, Karen, Hi, Chris. How are you?
Speaker 3: Can I be honest?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: When I asked that, I actually want the answer, and
Speaker 4: I do. Sit I'll sit down for hours. I got
Speaker 4: a lot of free time.
Speaker 3: I had the one of those kind of mornings where
Speaker 3: I thought I woke up, I thought it was good mood,
Speaker 3: and then the first phone call set me into like
Speaker 3: a little like what's the word. I was like in
Speaker 3: a in a rut of like irritation. Yeah, I think
Speaker 3: I drink too much coffee. I think that's what it is.
Speaker 3: And I'm in total denial about it because I absolutely
Speaker 3: love coffee because I love white drugs. But I can't
Speaker 3: do them anymore.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I found that coffee makes me angry. There's
Speaker 4: no other way to not anxious.
Speaker 1: Not I am. I am quick to anger and rage, yes, yeah.
Speaker 3: And it used to be well in my in my
Speaker 3: like TV, daily television days, it was required, like you,
Speaker 3: absolutely I needed an entire pot of coffee before I
Speaker 3: left the house because of the kind of days that
Speaker 3: I would spend and the kind of fighting.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you got a daily basis.
Speaker 4: You gotta yell at people during meetings to get anything done.
Speaker 1: On these it was just all yelling.
Speaker 3: It was constant, constant conflict. And so now I think
Speaker 3: it's like I get up and I have one cup,
Speaker 3: and that's where I should put it down. But my
Speaker 3: natural personality is like eight more cups and we'll see
Speaker 3: how I feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because who makes a cup.
Speaker 4: It's people that get these pods and don't care about
Speaker 4: the environment. It's because of my love of the earth,
Speaker 4: and you know, I'm a total hippie.
Speaker 1: I make a whole pot.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah. And then you compost those.
Speaker 1: Grounds, I do, I swear I do.
Speaker 4: I put them in the garden or I put them
Speaker 4: in my I sprinkle them into my potted plants.
Speaker 1: I use the grounds. It's good. It's actually good.
Speaker 3: Use those grounds too. Did you realize that as of
Speaker 3: jan one, we're all supposed to be composting by law
Speaker 3: in California. We're supposed to be separating our garbage garbage,
Speaker 3: and we're supposed to have a compost garbage.
Speaker 4: I hope that they enforce that, and I hope they
Speaker 4: start with, uh, you know, you gotta put together all
Speaker 4: your cardboard, all the result.
Speaker 1: You gotta get organized. We gotta get organized.
Speaker 3: You got to get our garbage organized.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's it's very important.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 4: Well, I just I just went down to the optometry
Speaker 4: to get glasses, and I realized the glasses that I
Speaker 4: like are from Michael Douglas in the movie Falling Down,
Speaker 4: just the partial wire with the dark frame on top. Yes,
Speaker 4: And this person was unfamiliar, so I kept one looking
Speaker 4: for a scene that was a close up of his face.
Speaker 4: This person had not seen the movie. I chose the
Speaker 4: scene where he has a bazooka and the little kids like, no,
Speaker 4: you got to pull it apart. That's the trigger, and
Speaker 4: he's like raging out on some construction worker. The person's like,
Speaker 4: what movie is this. I'm like, I'm not gonna be
Speaker 4: weird in the glasses. I just like the frames.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I think they felt like I was angry
Speaker 1: at society.
Speaker 4: It was almost felt like all of a sudden, I
Speaker 4: was buying a gun and they're questioning my you're.
Speaker 3: Holding up a thing where Michael Douglas is just shooting
Speaker 3: people on the freeway.
Speaker 1: These are the yeah saying my oldly racist things.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, oh, this movie is from the nineties,
Speaker 4: but I'm very cited for the glasses, can.
Speaker 3: I tell you? And it sounds exciting because did you
Speaker 3: end up realizing did you guys come together and realize
Speaker 3: the phrase you were looking for is horn rimmed glasses?
Speaker 1: Horn?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: If I if it's a true horn rimmed, those come
Speaker 4: up to a point like a far side character.
Speaker 3: And for girls, yeah, the girls one.
Speaker 4: Okay, I guess that is what they're called. But this
Speaker 4: person didn't know that. They're like, oh, so like wiry
Speaker 4: but framey on top. And it's like, how long you've
Speaker 4: been doing this?
Speaker 3: They said wiry and FRAMEI yeah, so like wirey down
Speaker 3: below and frame up top.
Speaker 1: And they didn't even wear glasses.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, the obvious joke here is, sir,
Speaker 3: this is a Wendy's is that you just were in
Speaker 3: the completely wrong.
Speaker 4: It was it's totally normal to buy glasses and an
Speaker 4: alley by a dumpstairs there it is.
Speaker 3: Box of glasses. Remember the wasn't there like a box
Speaker 3: of free glo. I just had a weird flash. Sorry,
Speaker 3: this is not gonna be.
Speaker 1: Worth it, but there was, like I'm ready.
Speaker 3: There was free glasses that you could take and try on.
Speaker 3: At my grammar school in the office, oh wow, Like
Speaker 3: remember you got brought into a room for eye tests
Speaker 3: and hearing tests. Yeah, I.
Speaker 4: On a fancy day. It's very vague memory. It's more
Speaker 4: of scoliosis and life testing. At my school, they didn't
Speaker 4: care if we could see what if you had a
Speaker 4: curvy back, hit the bricks, your freak kid, They'd say.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, So I was like, yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: They'd always for some reason, there's always an adult right
Speaker 4: behind me rooting through my hair or my back.
Speaker 3: Get away.
Speaker 4: It's time to suppress those. I'm very excited about our
Speaker 4: guest today. I believe she has a show within hours.
Speaker 1: Which it's creepy. I looked at her schedule.
Speaker 3: You did some real research today. I did.
Speaker 1: Oh, I always do.
Speaker 4: It's so weird that people think I don't do hours
Speaker 4: of painstaking research. I treat this like a college, like
Speaker 4: a like I'm a professor.
Speaker 3: No, you you do, and it absolutely shows conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, has said it shows, but I do do it.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah. This comic is so.
Speaker 4: Cool, like cool in a way where I if I
Speaker 4: was like, Irene, we have to can you help me
Speaker 4: get rid of this gun? And we have to pick
Speaker 4: up a bag of money, I feel like she'd be like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: we're the good guys, right, that would be the only question.
Speaker 4: I think I'm right about that. Anyway, she does clubs
Speaker 4: and also colleges all around the cold.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah everyone, uh Irene too? Oh kay?
Speaker 4: I almost said, put your hands together again? Hi Irene, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 4: how are you guys? Am I right about that? Like
Speaker 4: in the green room, if at Helium I was in
Speaker 4: a panic and I said, can you help me out?
Speaker 1: I'm in a I'm in.
Speaker 4: A bit of a spot. We have to go get
Speaker 4: rid of something. I wouldn't say it's a gun, but just.
Speaker 5: You would show me the gun later I would.
Speaker 4: I feel like I just from and we don't hang
Speaker 4: out all the damn time.
Speaker 1: But I feel like when I first met you that
Speaker 1: I already I know.
Speaker 4: I feel like I know you well for how little
Speaker 4: we hung out.
Speaker 3: This is true.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: If you if you were like, hey, I need to
Speaker 5: get rid of something, I'd be like, okay, let's make
Speaker 5: a plan. And then you show me the gun. I'm like,
Speaker 5: oh wow, interesting, Okay, didn't expect this right from Chris Fairbanks,
Speaker 5: but let's do it. And also can we get this
Speaker 5: done before the show starts because I'm still trying to do.
Speaker 3: My thought right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you, I need to.
Speaker 3: Figure out my set, so I can't. I can't just
Speaker 3: be driving to bridges and throwing guns off of them
Speaker 3: for you the whole time.
Speaker 1: And this is you do have a set tonight in Austin.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 5: I'm at Moontower yep, and I have a set right after.
Speaker 1: A seven thirty Austin time.
Speaker 3: Are you excited?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm excited. I've never done comedy in Austin before.
Speaker 1: So and this is your first obviously then your first
Speaker 1: show of the fest.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, yep. Just flew in what happens.
Speaker 1: Thel Vita Room?
Speaker 5: Where you at the it's not the Vita Room, and
Speaker 5: I also didn't look up where it is yet.
Speaker 1: So well, i'll tell you it's not the I remember now.
Speaker 1: It's at the Cedar Street courtyard. Actually it is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're at the Cedar Street I guess. I'm trying
Speaker 4: to figure out where that. It's where my friend Matt
Speaker 4: Sadler used to work. If he's there, you're gonna love him. Uh.
Speaker 1: That's where I started comedy. I mean I started.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I forgot until you just said.
Speaker 3: I was like, that's right.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's so.
Speaker 4: I know all the venue and I've never been invited
Speaker 4: to that festival and it doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: No, it's fine.
Speaker 4: Look I have they know I'm busy this weekend. I
Speaker 4: assume they checked my schedule preemptively and that's why they
Speaker 4: don't ask every year.
Speaker 1: But I'm kidding.
Speaker 4: It's You're gonna have fun though, it's it looks like
Speaker 4: a fun group of comics this year.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think it'll be fine. But that is crazy that
Speaker 5: you're not doing it.
Speaker 1: I never have. Yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 3: It sounds to me if you started comedy in Austin
Speaker 3: and they've never asked you to do it somewhere in
Speaker 3: between there you pissed somebody off. Where the gun is
Speaker 3: coming from is this? Asked other people to help you
Speaker 3: get rid of weapons.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of side gigs in Austin.
Speaker 4: Money wasn't rolling in from comedy and so yes, I
Speaker 4: had a little crime ring and I asked a lot
Speaker 4: of comics to help me. And I guess I rub
Speaker 4: some people the wrong way because now they're bookers.
Speaker 1: No, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: I don't think I've ever pissed anyone off in Austin.
Speaker 4: I think that they just there's a thing about the
Speaker 4: the city you start in.
Speaker 1: And I left there in two thousand and three.
Speaker 4: I've developed away from in my time away from there,
Speaker 4: and they still think of me, maybe as the kind
Speaker 4: of skittish, nervous stumbling you know, I had no confidence.
Speaker 4: I think they still think I'm that guy. Maybe, but
Speaker 4: I worked their comedy clubs.
Speaker 3: You know what, We're going to get Irene to ask
Speaker 3: a bunch of people tonight right after her first.
Speaker 5: Oh that's all I'm going to I'm going to do
Speaker 5: my set anymore.
Speaker 1: So Chris Fairbanks, huh, and just see what they say.
Speaker 5: I'm just going to ask each person that I think
Speaker 5: might run the festival or even be a part of it,
Speaker 5: and be like, so, Chris Fairbanks here there's a beef.
Speaker 4: Yeah, get ith Yeah, I don't know. It is a
Speaker 4: good question and something I'll think about tonight.
Speaker 3: Irene. Let's focus back on Irene.
Speaker 1: Yes, of course, Irene.
Speaker 3: Do you have a pre show ritual? Because it is
Speaker 3: exciting to be at a festival like I remember one
Speaker 3: time for somewhere one of those festivals. I flew in
Speaker 3: and the plane was late, so I had to run
Speaker 3: from the hotel. I had to rush to the first set,
Speaker 3: and it was an awful feeling. And that's not what
Speaker 3: festivals are about. Is there anything that you do to
Speaker 3: like ground yourself? Knowing that festivals are a little extra,
Speaker 3: there's like lots of people hanging around. You might feel
Speaker 3: like it's make or break or whatever. Is there anything
Speaker 3: you do to kind of get yourself in the right headspace?
Speaker 5: I think I don't like to be rushing. That always
Speaker 5: stresses me out, so I try to have plenty of
Speaker 5: time before my set. Ironically doing this podcast.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's why I was like, this is something that
Speaker 4: would make me nervous if I were you, not that
Speaker 4: I want you to get nervous.
Speaker 5: No, but also it's like it's I think it's like
Speaker 5: a short set, so this is it's like it's it's
Speaker 5: like going to be like a ten minute set. So yeah,
Speaker 5: that is easy. And it's not like if I was headlining,
Speaker 5: I may not. I might have been like, can we
Speaker 5: change the time of this podcast?
Speaker 4: Yeah, but no, it's and you have time because you're
Speaker 4: number six in a lineup of eight.
Speaker 3: Is that true?
Speaker 4: Because I looked at your schedule, Yeah, you don't do
Speaker 4: the Velvet Room.
Speaker 5: You have no idea what your manager.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 4: I was looking because there's a lot of shows at
Speaker 4: uh at that you're on, Like this festival has you
Speaker 4: work and like you have two tomorrow. Uh you know,
Speaker 4: one's a daylight thing. I maybe skip that if I
Speaker 4: were you, But you're going to love the Velvet Room
Speaker 4: on Sunday night. All these gigs, by the way, are
Speaker 4: weeks ago because we record in advance. But Irene was
Speaker 4: in Austin and you heard that she did great because
Speaker 4: she did.
Speaker 5: Yes see, but please please text me my schedule daily
Speaker 5: because I clearly have no idea when.
Speaker 4: And well I downloaded the app and I will I
Speaker 4: will forward the prompts to your number.
Speaker 3: But do you do anything like, say, do you do
Speaker 3: shadow boxing? Do you do not talk to people? Do
Speaker 3: you drink two beers? Like? Is there anything you do
Speaker 3: for the people that don't do stand up and go?
Speaker 3: How do you do that? How do you get up
Speaker 3: in front of people like that? Is there anything like
Speaker 3: that that you do that helps you?
Speaker 5: I generally will write out a set list, even if
Speaker 5: it's like the same set list as like the night
Speaker 5: before or like literally every day that week. I just
Speaker 5: will rewrite the set list in my notebook and then
Speaker 5: I stare at it in a panic that I'll forget
Speaker 5: all of my jokes on stand up, and then I'll
Speaker 5: paste back. I'll paste back and forth. Got to pay backstage,
Speaker 5: I'll usually I'll have a water and then I'm just
Speaker 5: opening and closing it and drinking like one sip at
Speaker 5: a time, nervously.
Speaker 1: Yeah, recapping it after everything.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, click click click CLICKLI like, oh, but it
Speaker 5: has to be like one of the twisty ones. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it can't be like a FlipTop.
Speaker 3: I don't like that.
Speaker 4: So you do have a writer where you specify the
Speaker 4: things that you require.
Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like they always have the twisty
Speaker 5: ones because.
Speaker 1: Fliptops they don't work.
Speaker 4: They got the little safety thing you're supposed to pull
Speaker 4: off a strip that's half the circumference of the brim
Speaker 4: and it just breaks.
Speaker 1: So then you got to use your teeth as a tool.
Speaker 5: And then you're like sucking it. Yes, that's like a baby.
Speaker 4: Ye yeah, I don't like that either. I don't like
Speaker 4: the suckling. We went through this as babies.
Speaker 3: Same with them. When they changed the Starbucks cups. When
Speaker 3: suddenly we had straw legislation that immediately outlawed straws. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was amazing. And then there was just suddenly we
Speaker 3: had sippy cups at Starbucks, where I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I need to I can't do this. I don't know,
Speaker 3: this feels bad to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for a while I just had to go, just
Speaker 4: give me the brim, Can you salt the rim? And
Speaker 4: just give me a cup of salty coffee? Because I
Speaker 4: can't get used to the snap.
Speaker 1: But we have Look how far we've come.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were adults with sippy cups. God, that's so true.
Speaker 3: Of like a funny nervous I guess that's why I
Speaker 3: asked the question because there is something about the green
Speaker 3: room energy that every time I would interpret it as
Speaker 3: like these people are making me nervous, or I can't
Speaker 3: be in here or whatever. But I didn't understand that
Speaker 3: was kind of the magic alchemy of between your on
Speaker 3: the sidewalk and you're on the stage, you need to
Speaker 3: be in that room doing weird little things because that's
Speaker 3: part of getting ready.
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, yeah, totally, because otherwise if I don't do that,
Speaker 5: I feel like I get on stage and I'm just
Speaker 5: like scattered.
Speaker 3: Yes, right.
Speaker 4: And I think it's funny that you asked about it, Karen,
Speaker 4: because last time Irene and I worked together in Portland
Speaker 4: the green room, it was one of those situations where
Speaker 4: it's very god and there was seven comics in there.
Speaker 1: Oh every night there was guest sets.
Speaker 4: I had to go get my head straight in the
Speaker 4: showroom sitting with the audience where it was quiet, Like
Speaker 4: Irene and.
Speaker 1: I both were like wow, oh more people.
Speaker 4: There was just a lot of activity and it was
Speaker 4: the opposite of what a green room is supposed to provide, like, yes,
Speaker 4: I'm about to go up.
Speaker 1: We both were like we both equally get.
Speaker 4: Nervous and have to stare at our handwriting from five
Speaker 4: minutes ago, and new people are, hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: Like you have to meet people?
Speaker 4: The handshaking and this was during like we're still paranoid,
Speaker 4: We're gonna die because of spit like it was. I
Speaker 4: remember that being one of the more stressful green room
Speaker 4: experiences that we shared.
Speaker 5: I was surprised you just didn't kick people out.
Speaker 1: I I.
Speaker 4: Have to drink a bunch of coffee and get mad,
Speaker 4: and then I go overboard and I'm like, everyone, get
Speaker 4: the hell out, Like Jesus, I have to lose it
Speaker 4: to that.
Speaker 1: I wish I could more so.
Speaker 3: Was it like local comics that were excited You guys were.
Speaker 4: There some of that, and then and then friends that
Speaker 4: were doing guest sets, and then there was confusion and
Speaker 4: they thought they had a guest set every night or
Speaker 4: there was just a lot of people yeah in there,
Speaker 4: but yes, anyone that I'm now, I'm nervous that they're
Speaker 4: all listening together, like having their feelings heard. It was
Speaker 4: also people that wanted to hang out, and I appreciate that,
Speaker 4: but I don't appreciate it right before I get on stage,
Speaker 4: that's all, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, somebody recently I was in San Francisco, like another
Speaker 5: comic and I was trying to tape a set and
Speaker 5: then they like wanted to have like kind of a
Speaker 5: serious conversation like right before or after my set. I
Speaker 5: was like, absolutely not, there's no way. I was like,
Speaker 5: we cannot talk right now. And I felt like bad,
Speaker 5: so I like texted them again like yesterday, and I
Speaker 5: was like, hey, like sorry about that thing the other week.
Speaker 5: But I just like, if I'm trying to tape a
Speaker 5: set for something right before or after, terrible time to
Speaker 5: try to talk to totally.
Speaker 3: I one time almost started crying because and it was
Speaker 3: right when I started stand up, so I would have
Speaker 3: like real like full breakdowns every time because I didn't
Speaker 3: really have material and I kind of was like I've
Speaker 3: always wanted to do this and now I'm actually doing it,
Speaker 3: and I'm like fine, I'm passing fine at it, but
Speaker 3: this isn't like changing lives anyway. So it's like every
Speaker 3: single time it was so hard and no joke. It
Speaker 3: would be like three different people like hey where do
Speaker 3: I park? I don't know how much is this gonna cought?
Speaker 3: And it'd be like I was the fucking concierge and
Speaker 3: I'd be like, stop talking to me. I would completely
Speaker 3: go insane on people and just be like, don't fucking
Speaker 3: ask me for directions. And it was like, sorry, I
Speaker 3: could have been nice about this if you asked me
Speaker 3: at ten am, but you're literally asking me as I'm
Speaker 3: getting ready to go on stage, like, hey, tell me
Speaker 3: where to park here where It's like no, no, sorry,
Speaker 3: I'm I'm going hysterically blind. So i can't work through
Speaker 3: this with you.
Speaker 4: Right, Those are situations where there isn't a green room.
Speaker 4: You're just like people that come in that assume you
Speaker 4: work there because you're standing there pacing around.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Your friends who are there to quote unquote support you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, are drag down.
Speaker 5: I would prefer none of my friends and family come
Speaker 5: to my shows if that's the case, Like, please leave
Speaker 5: me alone.
Speaker 4: On the promo for anything, there's an asterisk at the
Speaker 4: bottom and it says strangers only for me.
Speaker 1: I do not. I've never want.
Speaker 4: I've never understood when someone packs the room this is
Speaker 4: our first time, and then everyone from their office is screaming.
Speaker 1: And I'm like oh, And then usually you watch all
Speaker 1: these people with all this hope.
Speaker 4: Watch their friends struggle, yeah, and make it's the most
Speaker 4: dangerous situation and put yourself in. I just got to
Speaker 4: the point where I don't worry about it when I'm
Speaker 4: back home and Missulin and my dad and all my
Speaker 4: friends are going to be in the room listening.
Speaker 1: It took a decade and a half for that to
Speaker 1: stop bothering me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's fine if like friends and stuff
Speaker 5: will come to the show, but don't. Yeah, don't text
Speaker 5: or ask me anything day of the show that you
Speaker 5: can either google or ask somebody else or don't text me,
Speaker 5: like an hour before the show. Hey, I actually can't come.
Speaker 5: I don't care.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm so sorry. They keep apologizing. It's like,
Speaker 4: all you have to do is stop texting me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you guys when I started. So, I
Speaker 3: started stand up in Sacramento, and I truly did it,
Speaker 3: I think like three or four times, and was then
Speaker 3: immediately in a contest. And at the same time that
Speaker 3: I started, I was going to the j C because
Speaker 3: I flunked out of sack State, which is not easy
Speaker 3: to do, and I was going to the j C
Speaker 3: and I was in a play at the JC. So
Speaker 3: in this contest, it was like the night three of
Speaker 3: this content like I'd made it to the semi finals
Speaker 3: or something like that, and everyone from the theater department
Speaker 3: came to this show and it was so fucking humiliating,
Speaker 3: like they were cheering now they it was out of love.
Speaker 3: I adored them for doing it. It was very sweet,
Speaker 3: like they were so proud and they were so excited,
Speaker 3: and they were theater people. So it's like everything's times five,
Speaker 3: but literally it's just it was like I packed the
Speaker 3: house filled with like, you know, a hundred excited ants
Speaker 3: instead of just like two.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 3: It was so embarrassing and so crazy, and it was
Speaker 3: just like it was so it was just one of
Speaker 3: those things too where you can't when I get nervous
Speaker 3: or anxious, it all becomes about control where it's like nope,
Speaker 3: you stop doing that, you can't do that or whatever.
Speaker 3: And it was like the most out of control situation
Speaker 3: that I didn't ask. I did not invite them, like
Speaker 3: they found out it was happening. It was it's making
Speaker 3: me nervous just thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm the same way.
Speaker 4: But then all of a sudden, like a Ray talked
Speaker 4: about this, but being thrust on stage during the daytime
Speaker 4: between bands and there's kids, and I had to do
Speaker 4: that recently.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I have zero control here.
Speaker 4: This is complete chaos, and it made me default back
Speaker 4: to my defense mechanism, ability to make people.
Speaker 1: Laugh to survive.
Speaker 4: Like it's how I used to get out of people
Speaker 4: punching me in the face when I was a kid.
Speaker 4: Like I'm like, oh, I have to make these people
Speaker 4: like me, And then afterwards I felt like young. I
Speaker 4: felt like going on a run. It was like an
Speaker 4: exhilarating feeling. So it's good to get out of that
Speaker 4: comfort zone. But I never will choose to. I want, yeah,
Speaker 4: so much control. Yeah, so I hope. And at a
Speaker 4: festival it's it's always there's so much fun going on
Speaker 4: outside the shows.
Speaker 1: You probably don't have to worry about that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I will say it's like for me, I
Speaker 5: like a festival, but it also I'm not an extrovert,
Speaker 5: so it can be way too much. Yeah, so I
Speaker 5: have to figure out when to leave the party, right,
Speaker 5: you know. I have to like show up, show face
Speaker 5: long enough that people know that I was there, and
Speaker 5: then quietly leave somehow before someone's like, hey, you're leaving.
Speaker 5: And I just have to like Irish goodbye every.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, always. I think it's okay to do that.
Speaker 3: I don't think there's anything wrong with Irish goodbyeing. I
Speaker 3: don't understand why people treat it like it's something where
Speaker 3: it's just like, oh, I'm sorry, did you expect me
Speaker 3: to walk around and like kiss everyone goodbye?
Speaker 1: What do you want?
Speaker 3: Like? What are you talking about? I'll talk to you tomorrow,
Speaker 3: Like this is at the end. We'll be fine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is one of my actually, my biggest regret
Speaker 4: in my career is that I don't leave the party early.
Speaker 4: I am there, the last one there, and I'm back
Speaker 4: flipping into a dumpster and I'm all of a sudden
Speaker 4: just hanging out with people that I don't even remember
Speaker 4: their names, and I'm like, let's keep going. I'd like,
Speaker 4: because we don't get to go to parties anymore. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 4: but there is a part of me that still wants
Speaker 4: to be in my twenties. That's what comedy festivals provide
Speaker 4: for comedians. Yes, like for sure, hey, you're all kids
Speaker 4: and there's no rules, here's free drinks, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, okay, I'll be jumping in the dumpster.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, We're sponsored by a pot company. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 3: come collect your joints.
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, I don't usually smoke these? Should
Speaker 4: I have three?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Fighting a security guard? Now, what's happening?
Speaker 1: I did?
Speaker 4: I just recently like a tiny pack of cigarettes. I
Speaker 4: was given at a comedy show a dozen joints pre
Speaker 4: roll joints, and I'm like, well, they're so little and
Speaker 4: it's so well packaged. And I had one before golfing
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm I'm a danger. I don't know
Speaker 4: what I'm doing right now. I'm like, I still get
Speaker 4: in my head too much. I can't No, no, yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't want to get used to it.
Speaker 1: Don't make me do weed.
Speaker 3: We won't. Chris, I mean you started stand up in Chicago.
Speaker 5: Technically, yes, I started in Chicago, but I consider San
Speaker 5: Francisco like my home. Me too, that comedy scene.
Speaker 3: That's what I did because I start I only did
Speaker 3: an in Sacramento for a handful of times and then
Speaker 3: moved to the city.
Speaker 5: M yeah, yeah, that's basically what happened.
Speaker 3: Now was was the punchline your home your home club? Yes,
Speaker 3: that's my home. Look nice?
Speaker 1: Is that where you did your last album?
Speaker 4: My first last album, your daybut album.
Speaker 5: It's My daybut album Wow.
Speaker 1: That is Yeah. I recorded my album there two years ago,
Speaker 1: My Day.
Speaker 3: Butt your debut. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think a lot of people, a lot of people
Speaker 5: have recorded their daybut albums.
Speaker 3: Such a good room. They really they set it up perfectly. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's uh. Did you guys both make jokes about the
Speaker 3: skyline picture behind you?
Speaker 1: First?
Speaker 3: I did half? I did not.
Speaker 1: I always I never.
Speaker 3: Have, will you not?
Speaker 5: Are you against it? I just feel like people have
Speaker 5: done it, so I'm like.
Speaker 4: Not not my Lombard Street. Uh, it's not that curvy,
Speaker 4: I always say, and then and then I and I
Speaker 4: quite tower. Yeah, I thought it was. That's more like
Speaker 4: the Tower pizza because it's kind of crooked. I have
Speaker 4: a bunch of Chris.
Speaker 3: You're making this up.
Speaker 4: I am, I know, I am, but I I can't not,
Speaker 4: especially at all. The heliums have that too, like a
Speaker 4: caricature painting of the city, and I have to say
Speaker 4: that's not what the thing looks like, because the crowd
Speaker 4: will go, oh, they made a joke about our city. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's like, yeah, that's all you're gonna get because of
Speaker 4: the mural. I didn't open up. I didn't crack a
Speaker 4: newspaper before I got here.
Speaker 3: Oh god, So how long were you in the city
Speaker 3: before you came to Did you then move to Los
Speaker 3: Angeles to the old Yeah?
Speaker 5: So I moved to San Francisco technically Berkeley in two
Speaker 5: thy twelve, and then I think I left like twenty
Speaker 5: end of like twenty eighteen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Nice, that's a good solid
Speaker 3: amount of times to be doing six years. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: What's schools in Berkeley? I'm going to reveal I don't know. Berkeley.
Speaker 5: That's the one I went to. Is Berkeley?
Speaker 1: Right? Right?
Speaker 3: Oh you went there? My dad would be very proud
Speaker 3: of That's a good school, right, he really loves it.
Speaker 1: What did you study?
Speaker 5: I mean, it is a good school. I wanted to
Speaker 5: go to Stanford, and I will say this every time,
Speaker 5: still better they didn't take me.
Speaker 3: Stanford's tough, though, don't you have to have like a
Speaker 3: five point seven gpa and like your parents have to
Speaker 3: both be the governor of California and stuff is so intense.
Speaker 3: I got to Stanford. I'm a lot older than you,
Speaker 3: but I got a Stanford sweatshirt in high school and
Speaker 3: I remember wearing it around my mom goes, that's as
Speaker 3: close as you're going to get because it's like the
Speaker 3: most expensive, you know, one of the most expensive schools,
Speaker 3: and also you really do it's like you have to
Speaker 3: be related to people or something.
Speaker 5: Yeah, or just like the smartest person ever, yeah right
Speaker 5: or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I was bummed.
Speaker 4: I think I yeah, my parents wanted to lower my
Speaker 4: expectations for I was getting. They were getting the University
Speaker 4: of Montana sweatshirts and everything. When I was a young boy,
Speaker 4: I knew that's where I was going to go, right
Speaker 4: down the street. Otherwise I totally could have gone to
Speaker 4: Berkeley or Stanford.
Speaker 3: You could have you just focused on a different thing.
Speaker 3: But Berkeley is an amazing Berkeley's an amazing school. I
Speaker 3: mean that's like, that's that's no, it's no slouch. Iving.
Speaker 5: I mean I kind of checked out by the my
Speaker 5: senior year. I was like, I want to do comedy.
Speaker 5: I don't care anymore.
Speaker 1: Oh did you decide during Yeah? Yeah, I kind of.
Speaker 4: I started doing improve and stuff at the end of
Speaker 4: college and I'm like, wait a minute, I think I
Speaker 4: like this, I'm not going to be an art history professor.
Speaker 4: That's like what my all my study. What were you studying?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I majored in Asian American and Asian diaspora studies,
Speaker 5: and most people like become academics, like professors or whatever,
Speaker 5: and I didn't want to do that.
Speaker 1: Did you say diaspora?
Speaker 5: The diaspora, I don't know what that is. It's like
Speaker 5: when you move from like one place to another place. Oh,
Speaker 5: it's like the diaspora. So there's like Asian people that
Speaker 5: are like not in Asia, you know.
Speaker 4: Oh, okay, isn't that funny that I've lived my whole life?
Speaker 4: And I swear if that word has been used around me,
Speaker 4: I was looking down at my shoes or something.
Speaker 5: I feel like it's a very college word.
Speaker 3: And I don't even know.
Speaker 5: If I described it well enough, I'm sure I'll get
Speaker 5: a lot of angry emails that's like, that's not what
Speaker 5: it is like again, I checked out, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I must repeat. I was doing sets at this point, Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Was doing comedy, all right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: There are words that are just for college and they
Speaker 4: never happen again, words like algebra or syllabus. Like I
Speaker 4: remember when someone first used the phrase syllabus. I had
Speaker 4: never heard that word, and I laughed at it because
Speaker 4: it sounded like an STD and then you never hear
Speaker 4: the word syllabus again once you graduate.
Speaker 1: It's like, that's just.
Speaker 4: A college word. I hate college words, toy do.
Speaker 5: I feel like the quintessential college word is like heteronormative.
Speaker 5: That's such a college word.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a good that's a new a newbie,
Speaker 4: but a goodie.
Speaker 3: So what what was the thing or was there one
Speaker 3: thing at that time that made you realize stand up
Speaker 3: was a thing you wanted to try? Like did you
Speaker 3: see somebody do it? Or like had you always secretly
Speaker 3: wanted to?
Speaker 5: And no, I didn't know, uh what comedy was like
Speaker 5: when I was a kid. I loved cartoons, but I
Speaker 5: always thought like I was gonna be a doctor or
Speaker 5: a scientist or like all of my family like went
Speaker 5: to med school or kind of did stuff that was
Speaker 5: like in that realm. And uh, long story short, I
Speaker 5: was number one a huge fan of Allen So she
Speaker 5: you know, started by doing stand up. So that's kind
Speaker 5: of how I do start doing stand up. And also
Speaker 5: a girl told me it was funny, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 5: I guess we'll be a comedian.
Speaker 3: Here we go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 4: I think it is other kids telling that's what it
Speaker 4: was for me, other kids saying you should be a comedian.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's not a job or whatever.
Speaker 4: But if you keep hearing it from kids, they I
Speaker 4: just want to say thank you to everyone I went
Speaker 4: to grammar school with.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, thanks to that one girl that I had
Speaker 5: a crush on that said I was funny.
Speaker 3: Otherwise I wouldn't be here, right. Yeah, you're like, hey,
Speaker 3: wait a second, she's got a point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think you're kind.
Speaker 3: Of doing it for her, even though it's years.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, oh, I know. It's like we don't even
Speaker 5: talk anymore. But it was like I was like trying
Speaker 5: to press that one girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4: There are a handful of people that are I rotate
Speaker 4: between them all. That's the reason that I started doing
Speaker 4: stand up or someone inspiring me, and I don't think
Speaker 4: any of them know that they are that person to me.
Speaker 1: Maybe I shoul write some thank you letters.
Speaker 3: You should, you know, the main I think because actually,
Speaker 3: I well, I wanted to be a stand up because
Speaker 3: I because like right when I was you know, ten
Speaker 3: eleven twelve is when they started airing evening at the
Speaker 3: improv like on you know on Sundays where it would
Speaker 3: just be like, you know, twelve different people doing sets
Speaker 3: or whatever, and I was like, oh, I wanted that,
Speaker 3: so I want to do that, and I would just
Speaker 3: watch it. I was kind of obsessed with it. But
Speaker 3: then one year when I went to camp, Steve McDonald,
Speaker 3: who was like this the older boy that everybody loved,
Speaker 3: who was really funny himself. He one of his favorite
Speaker 3: things to do because he lived near the city, was
Speaker 3: go in and go to comedy shows. And he's the
Speaker 3: one that told me I should be a comic, and
Speaker 3: to me at the time, I was fourteen or something,
Speaker 3: and it was like he was kind of a stand
Speaker 3: up expert and he was like, you have to do this,
Speaker 3: and it was first of all, I loved him, so
Speaker 3: it was like thrilling. But then at this same time,
Speaker 3: it was almost like someone who had gone out and
Speaker 3: done the research in real life and was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you should do that too. So it became a thing
Speaker 3: of like it went from the dream of oh, that's
Speaker 3: on TV. I wish I could do that, to a
Speaker 3: person in reality going no, you can, and you should.
Speaker 3: So my thank you notice to Steve McDonald, which I
Speaker 3: think he knows this, but if he doesn't, Yeah, he
Speaker 3: was the reason I believed that it was possible.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I just realizing there was a camp counselor
Speaker 4: or a volunteer at some religious camp I went to
Speaker 4: in Estes Park, Colorado, and he had like a letterman
Speaker 4: jacket with comic relief logo on the back.
Speaker 1: And I remember like.
Speaker 4: How'd you get that jacket? He's like, oh, I'm a comedian.
Speaker 4: I have no idea who he was, but he had
Speaker 4: whatever Arlen Williams, Yeah, he got some free schwag. But yeah,
Speaker 4: that is one of the people. I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I just have to get out of Montana. That's the
Speaker 4: first thing. But yeah, I have no.
Speaker 1: Idea who that was. He's probably it could have been
Speaker 1: Steve Middleman. I don't know. It may have been.
Speaker 3: Actually, it could have been Gary mule Deer. I mean,
Speaker 3: when you first decided you were going to do it
Speaker 3: and you went in, did you do open mics in
Speaker 3: the city?
Speaker 5: Did you start in Berkeley? No, so I started in Chicago.
Speaker 5: I oh when I very first started. Yeah, I was
Speaker 5: in high school and I took like a stand up
Speaker 5: class at the second city.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 5: And it was like it was like literally me and
Speaker 5: two other people and we would just tell jokes to
Speaker 5: each other in like the classrooms really weird, and it.
Speaker 3: Cost eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 5: I mean at least three, you know, it was.
Speaker 4: Do you remember when your first your first joke was
Speaker 4: or the assignment?
Speaker 1: I remember mine.
Speaker 5: I do not remember any of the first jokes I
Speaker 5: told for the assignments, but I do remember. It didn't
Speaker 5: really click with me in that class. Like I think
Speaker 5: we had like little writing exercise or whatever, but just
Speaker 5: the way it was taught like didn't work for me.
Speaker 5: So then I kind of was like, I don't really
Speaker 5: get stand up. So then I kind of started doing
Speaker 5: improv for a while, and then I went back to
Speaker 5: do stand up and then I kind of got it more.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's hard. Yeah, I had that same trajectory. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's so. Yeah, Well that.
Speaker 3: Makes sense actually, because improv like it's almost like everything's
Speaker 3: everything is accepted right if you're within the rules and
Speaker 3: the realm of that scene and that reality. So you
Speaker 3: have that chance to just kind of throw stuff out
Speaker 3: and build the trust in yourself to think of the
Speaker 3: funny thing in the moment that would That's actually the
Speaker 3: more logical trajectory than just being like, well, I'm here
Speaker 3: and I'm going to try to mimic what I think
Speaker 3: other people are doing on stage, which because I remember
Speaker 3: those the first year, sitting there and trying to write jokes,
Speaker 3: I had no idea what I was doing. I had
Speaker 3: no idea how to even like mimic other people. It
Speaker 3: was just kind of dad talking yeah, oh totally right,
Speaker 3: like just my thoughts and you're going to think this
Speaker 3: is interesting.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you're like, oh god, this is very bad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Mine was a similar that guy Matt Sadler that I
Speaker 4: said worked at your.
Speaker 1: Venue where you have a show in about an hour.
Speaker 4: Just a reminder, let's keep this podcast is going to
Speaker 4: be riddled with the schedule updates for you.
Speaker 1: I but he it was one.
Speaker 4: It was an improv festival in Austin, and I went
Speaker 4: with my Montana group and one of the clinics there
Speaker 4: was here's a stand up clinic. It was like a
Speaker 4: one hour thing like for fun, and I decided in
Speaker 4: that class of three people like maybe I'll move here.
Speaker 4: I've never had even been to a city with a
Speaker 4: stand up scene. That's what made it real. And so
Speaker 4: when I moved. That's why I know exactly where your
Speaker 4: venue is. When I moved to Austin, I because he said, yeah,
Speaker 4: if you move here, just look me up at this
Speaker 4: guy Matt. And again, he's one of these people that
Speaker 4: inspired me. And I don't know that he knows that,
Speaker 4: but I just you're the only guy I knew. I
Speaker 4: had his phone number on a piece of paper and
Speaker 4: I went to his work and I'm like, Hi, I
Speaker 4: moved here, what do I do? And I remember he
Speaker 4: just said, well, try and write some jokes, and once
Speaker 4: you get on stage, do your second favorite joke and
Speaker 4: then talk in between and end with your favorite joke.
Speaker 4: That was which is kind of good advice.
Speaker 3: I guess that's kind of true.
Speaker 4: And so in a way, I went to the Velvet Room.
Speaker 4: You write down the street, you're gonna want to take
Speaker 4: a let. It's where your show is Sunday. It's kind
Speaker 4: of the main drag. Bring a friend. That area has
Speaker 4: gotten kind of sketchy. That's just a side thing. But yeah,
Speaker 4: you're you're performing where I first did stand up and
Speaker 4: I love that room.
Speaker 1: I think you'll really have fun there. It's a great.
Speaker 3: Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna love it.
Speaker 5: I hope I meet this man that you keep bringing.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, could you imagine I would be like
Speaker 5: Chris Bairbanks and he's gonna be mag who's that?
Speaker 3: Uh Like, don't mention that name around here? We can't
Speaker 3: not during Moontower, not ring Moontower.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's weird way to realize I've been blacklisted.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he might be around. I think Matt still does
Speaker 4: stand up. Yeah, you might see him.
Speaker 1: I can't wait.
Speaker 5: My eyes peeled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just keep your eyelids. Cut your eyelids off your face.
Speaker 3: That's really funny though, that advice because the first contest
Speaker 3: I was in two contests, and one was a smaller
Speaker 3: one before the bigger one than I was talking about earlier.
Speaker 3: And the first one I was was just like at
Speaker 3: the it was basically an open mic that I went to.
Speaker 3: But then they were like, Okay, well now we're gonna
Speaker 3: pick the best one or whatever. And so there was
Speaker 3: Andy Kindler and then the Andy Killer was the middler
Speaker 3: that week at the club Downtown, and the headliner whose
Speaker 3: name I cannot remember. I apologize. The headliner was there
Speaker 3: and he told me, take ten jokes, number one to ten,
Speaker 3: best to worst, one to ten. Take number ten, you
Speaker 3: put it at number four. You take number nine, you
Speaker 3: put it at number and he literally told me the mathematics, wow,
Speaker 3: take number one, you put it at number ten. So
Speaker 3: I need that.
Speaker 1: I need that. Actually nobody ever told me that.
Speaker 3: But it's kind of what that guld. It's basically it's
Speaker 3: essentially I think it's arguable the numbers in between, but
Speaker 3: it's basically he's saying, take your best joke and put
Speaker 3: it at the end, take your second best joke, put
Speaker 3: it at the beginning, and then basically within their order
Speaker 3: so that you have weak.
Speaker 1: Stuff and recovery, don't go.
Speaker 3: Into week stuff early. Like now I understand it. At
Speaker 3: the time, I was like, what a heck, Like I
Speaker 3: wanted to judge it for it where I was like,
Speaker 3: he's helping you so much, But he basically was like
Speaker 3: saying like start strong, yeah, and then get like if
Speaker 3: you have to get weak, get weak in the middle
Speaker 3: so that you've already built up a little good will,
Speaker 3: and then end strong again.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Essentially so they don't remember you as having been pretty
Speaker 3: good as opposed to just kind of like start strong,
Speaker 3: peter out, leave crying.
Speaker 4: No, that is still what I do, but I cry
Speaker 4: in the middle and recover at the end.
Speaker 5: I will say I absolutely did not do that for
Speaker 5: my album recording, would you do? I started fine, and
Speaker 5: then I think the best stuff is at the end
Speaker 5: of the album.
Speaker 1: I think that that that's okay to ramp up like that.
Speaker 5: Sure, yeah, yeah it was. It's like a roller coaster,
Speaker 5: you know. I think actually I do think it peaks
Speaker 5: like halfway through the album is my favorite joke, and
Speaker 5: then like at the end, there's like a bunch of
Speaker 5: jokes that I like, but the first like maybe four
Speaker 5: or five tracks, they're fine in my opinion.
Speaker 1: Like where on that album favorite do you do? You
Speaker 1: have your Uh?
Speaker 4: If I were a cannibal, newborn babies would be the
Speaker 4: most delicious meat.
Speaker 1: I'm butchering the joke.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have the best baby eating joke that I
Speaker 4: know in the business.
Speaker 1: Is that on?
Speaker 5: It is on the album and it's right before the
Speaker 5: very last track.
Speaker 4: I yeah, I loved watching you because we did a
Speaker 4: few shows together in Portland. It was fun to watch
Speaker 4: the because maybe at the time that was a newer
Speaker 4: joke for you, and it was like, yeah, it's.
Speaker 5: I mean, compared to like the rest of my album,
Speaker 5: it is quite like a new joke.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but I watched it progress and the audience like,
Speaker 4: because if you talk about eating human babies, some people
Speaker 4: they're just trained to not listen to the joke part.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, I don't like those words together.
Speaker 4: But then by the last night killing you were killing
Speaker 4: killing those babies.
Speaker 3: Do you have cannibalizing babies on your setlist for tonight?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yes, Yeah, that's that's my j and I do feel
Speaker 5: like it's the joke that if I tell it, audience
Speaker 5: members remember the.
Speaker 4: Most I can. And I could tell that you were
Speaker 4: enjoying telling that joke, because that's a joke where for
Speaker 4: a minute you kind of lose the audience and you
Speaker 4: know that that's happening, and you know that you're looking
Speaker 4: forward to a minute later when you those lines bring
Speaker 4: you recovery, and then they like it. It's kind of
Speaker 4: fun to play with that moment and even milk that moment, like,
Speaker 4: let's see how long I can let them not like
Speaker 4: me so I can recover after this.
Speaker 1: I kind of like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's it's like kind of my style. Of comedy,
Speaker 5: or what I prefer is kind of losing the audience
Speaker 5: for a bit to see if I can get them back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's fine. You know.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't need you to laugh the entire time.
Speaker 5: I want you to be uncomfortable for a bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you do have a few of those moments.
Speaker 3: But I also think when you do stuff like that,
Speaker 3: it's because and I could I think that this attitude
Speaker 3: is incorrect for overall success and stand up comedy, So
Speaker 3: don't listen to me. But I do like that, And
Speaker 3: maybe it's being a female comic you have. I always
Speaker 3: had that thing of like I have to prove early
Speaker 3: on I am fine and I'm in charge, or they'll
Speaker 3: fucking like show no weakness, right you kind of they
Speaker 3: don't trust you automatically, they're worried for you, which means
Speaker 3: then they're kind of mad at you. And this is
Speaker 3: like in the nineties, so it could be a little
Speaker 3: different now where it's evened out maybe a little. But
Speaker 3: I always felt that thing of having to like say
Speaker 3: dangerous quote unquote things to show them like I'll do
Speaker 3: I'll do what those dudes do. Plus some you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like I'll give a fuck, and that
Speaker 3: idea of then almost like a show of strength, just
Speaker 3: so they'll fucking really and let me get some laughs.
Speaker 3: That was always kind of my fucked up thinking about it,
Speaker 3: where just like that idea of like, yes, I'm not
Speaker 3: uncomfortable in this silence, but I know you are, and
Speaker 3: I'm like I'm the one in control. I think that's
Speaker 3: a great that's a great move on stage.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's you think that it's I was gonna say,
Speaker 4: my reaction was going to be like, well, that's just
Speaker 4: how it was in the nineties. But you can go
Speaker 4: to many different parts of the country and it's still
Speaker 4: the nineties as far as that audience is, like they
Speaker 4: they're still like think that they're gonna heckle you or
Speaker 4: get attacked, or that it's or the contest that we
Speaker 4: were talking about competitions.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that's kind of over.
Speaker 4: There's yes, there's no more stand up competitions anymore.
Speaker 1: It's not like.
Speaker 4: A vibrato a confidence contest. I like where stand up
Speaker 4: has gone and is right now.
Speaker 1: It's pretty gigory.
Speaker 5: Also, I feel like with contests, it's like a certain
Speaker 5: style of comedy will always tend to do better. Yeh yeah, contests, Yes,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. Yes, it's like I'm never
Speaker 5: gonna win a contest because I like to like kind
Speaker 5: of fuck with the audience, and they don't like that
Speaker 5: to vote for, right, you know, yeah, They're like, no,
Speaker 5: I want the guy who was like, you know, funny
Speaker 5: and likable the whole time or whatever, right, yeah.
Speaker 3: Or the guy that one contest I was talking about.
Speaker 3: The guy that won was chocking. It was it was
Speaker 3: nineteen eighty nine, I think or nineteen ninety, so he
Speaker 3: was talking about the war and how great it was
Speaker 3: and let's hear for our troops and this he had
Speaker 3: a whole bit at the end that absolutely was like
Speaker 3: jingoistic and just playing on those heartstrings and like support
Speaker 3: our troops. So then he won, and everybody else is like,
Speaker 3: you know who was in that contest? Brian Posain, Vernon Chapman,
Speaker 3: some of the fucking best stand ups there were, and
Speaker 3: this person one who look he was you know, he
Speaker 3: was an accomplished comedian.
Speaker 1: Was it? John Morgan the Rage in Cajun No All.
Speaker 3: I remember he had a very fancy silk suit on
Speaker 3: and he just kind of it was just kind of
Speaker 3: like he was talking to the people. It was Citrus Heights, California.
Speaker 3: He knew that audience and he knew what was kind
Speaker 3: of like going to get the applause going and stuff,
Speaker 3: whereas I was literally up there like singing like Annie
Speaker 3: and like how come I didn't win? We're just like
Speaker 3: no one needs your bullshit lady.
Speaker 1: So oh god, I don't miss there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I'll talk about him because I he was mean.
Speaker 4: There was a guy that used to come to Capsity
Speaker 4: every year and he had just won a lottery. So
Speaker 4: he had a lot of money because he had somehow
Speaker 4: won the lottery.
Speaker 3: Whoa And do you know how much money?
Speaker 4: I think it was millions and I think maybe his
Speaker 4: wife even won it. And and Martha, oh my god,
Speaker 4: Martha Kelly was featuring and she had and this was
Speaker 4: you know, early two thousands. She had an act and
Speaker 4: a demeanor that was easy for a Texas audience to like,
Speaker 4: she's not confident, she's not in control, and they kind
Speaker 4: of turned on her. And then he went up and
Speaker 4: he's had He's like, let's everyone just take take our
Speaker 4: hands and wipe the ar brow and know that that
Speaker 4: is over. It made me so mad, and then he
Speaker 4: closed by singing the national anthem, that's why, and he
Speaker 4: was he was saying racist, incredible things about the war
Speaker 4: one of whichever war. I think it was terror that
Speaker 4: we were fighting at that point, and I was mad
Speaker 4: and I went up to him. I'm like that you
Speaker 4: have to go apologize to Martha. That really hurt her feelings,
Speaker 4: and I think he did. But that guy, he's no good.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening right now, I stand right well, it's.
Speaker 3: Like it was so mean because he kind of showed
Speaker 3: his colors. Because it's like, if you were a good comic,
Speaker 3: you would just start your act and that would make people,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. It's just like, if somebody
Speaker 3: has a bad set before you for whatever reason, it's
Speaker 3: your job as the comic to just kind of like
Speaker 3: be the next thing. You don't have to like directly
Speaker 3: shit on people.
Speaker 4: He did for a while. Now, Yeah, I'll never forgive him.
Speaker 4: I'm still mad. That wasn't a contest, But I think, yeah,
Speaker 4: those you don't see those guys much anymore, those angry
Speaker 4: old national anthem singers.
Speaker 5: I've never seen that at a show. And you guys
Speaker 5: are both like, yeah, they sang the national anthem after
Speaker 5: I'm like, this is insane.
Speaker 3: I've never heard of this. It's like pre Internet, you know,
Speaker 3: it's rough. It was tough out there, those those kinds
Speaker 3: of like well because also like now I feel like
Speaker 3: people have all seen great comedy for a sustained amount
Speaker 3: of time. So the people who rose up were like
Speaker 3: the people who didn't win those contests, but they made
Speaker 3: it to LA and then started like actually getting jobs, yeah,
Speaker 3: and were innovators and stuff. You know. That's that's the
Speaker 3: whole thing of like road comics versus like comments that
Speaker 3: went on to actually make it or whatever. Yeah, which
Speaker 3: is you know it with their divide was much greater
Speaker 3: back then in that way, I think. But now also
Speaker 3: there's just so much more comedy. Like back then the
Speaker 3: choices were so limited, and now it's just like so
Speaker 3: many people have tried it and can't do it, and
Speaker 3: there's it's just I love it now because as opposed
Speaker 3: to contests, you know, the Internet basically made things a
Speaker 3: communal and community and like it's you network and you
Speaker 3: make friends. That's how you get somewhere, not putting other
Speaker 3: people down or whatever like that. That kind of like
Speaker 3: I will best you, and then I will rise to success.
Speaker 3: It just does not work like that anymore, yea, which
Speaker 3: is great.
Speaker 1: That's why I think. I mean, do you like this
Speaker 1: whole roast thing?
Speaker 4: I like that kind of I don't ever want to
Speaker 4: roast anyone.
Speaker 5: I well, I don't want to participate in a roast
Speaker 5: really because first of all, it's a lot of homework for.
Speaker 3: Jo it's all burnt yeah this second, yeah, I'm like
Speaker 3: it's over.
Speaker 5: It's like, Okay, I'm making fun of one person who
Speaker 5: I'm never going to make fun of again, and I'm
Speaker 5: spending time I'm not getting paid.
Speaker 3: What is the point? Like that's dumb?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's mostly honestly for me, it's that I
Speaker 5: can like watch a roast and I'm like, okay, like
Speaker 5: I get it, but it's not It's definitely not my
Speaker 5: favorite type of comments.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe I'm on the fence about it because I
Speaker 4: do like writing mean jokes.
Speaker 3: But well, the thing is to be in a roast
Speaker 3: or for most of them, like roast battlely type stuff.
Speaker 3: Then you have to get roasted. And that's my thing
Speaker 3: where I'm like, oh, I've I've lived my whole life
Speaker 3: to not have to hear what people actually think of
Speaker 3: me and then have that made into like extrapolaid it
Speaker 3: out into jokes that an entire audience can enjoy like that,
Speaker 3: it would haunt me for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3: I was ever in a roast battle, be horrible.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that I just don't like that there's
Speaker 4: a winner and it might not be me. I went
Speaker 4: my whole life doing solo things, skateboarding and all that,
Speaker 4: and I didn't realize that I am very competitive and
Speaker 4: I but I just didn't like team sports. But I
Speaker 4: get really I would get really emotional during those contests
Speaker 4: and think terrible things, and yeah, I'm I just got
Speaker 4: to stay away from them.
Speaker 3: Irene, is there anyone you're excited to see yourself at
Speaker 3: Moontower this year?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Who's there?
Speaker 3: Didn't look at the schedule?
Speaker 4: It's okay, I'm forwarding it to you. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 4: got I got the whole line up here, you're I.
Speaker 5: Mean, it's it's incredible. I even made it on the
Speaker 5: correct flight, do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3: No, I didn't.
Speaker 5: I didn't check the schedule yet because I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna fly in, I'm gonna do my one show.
Speaker 5: I'm not really going to do that much today. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so I was going to kind of check out more
Speaker 5: shows like tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday. I caught it, so
Speaker 5: I just haven't I haven't checked yet.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Just enjoy this city.
Speaker 4: You're in a fun part of the city and you're
Speaker 4: gonna I would just walk around. I love Austin. I
Speaker 4: miss it.
Speaker 5: But uh, you'll have to tell me if there's any
Speaker 5: good thrift stores.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there, I can help you with that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I texted to me after you send me my schedule.
Speaker 1: Okay, well I will.
Speaker 4: I have a whole packet of things. Also, I have
Speaker 4: your lanyard here. Yeah, and you're gonna walk. I do
Speaker 4: have to go get that drink tickets, drink tickets and
Speaker 4: risk band.
Speaker 3: You do.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't believe I have to ship this overnight.
Speaker 3: Wait. I just had the best idea. But I think
Speaker 3: it's only for I think it's for a very specific
Speaker 3: group of people. But what if we invented a clickable
Speaker 3: top water bottle that you use all the time, that
Speaker 3: always works, that always clicks, that like it's not really
Speaker 3: doesn't have water in it. You can just take it
Speaker 3: almost like a fidget spin and that's your clicker. But
Speaker 3: it's it's your clicker that you just bring everywhere all
Speaker 3: the time. It's like, oh, that would be really comforting.
Speaker 3: You can have it, It's.
Speaker 4: True you don't. You maybe can't even put water in it.
Speaker 4: It's just disguised like a barbasol safe.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, a shaving cream safe.
Speaker 3: You can put your schedule inside. Oh, the top is
Speaker 3: just a clicker.
Speaker 4: That was an interesting the festival and boys that they
Speaker 4: they had no You had to buy a stainless steel
Speaker 4: cup and every I noticed everyone had it on a
Speaker 4: holster on their hip. And so at the end of
Speaker 4: the day there was no garbage on the ground. There
Speaker 4: was no cups being dispersed. You had to buy a
Speaker 4: cup and then people would get their drinks in. You
Speaker 4: didn't want to lose your cup otherwise you had to
Speaker 4: buy a new one, and so there was no trash.
Speaker 4: It was actually a pretty progressive smart Yeah, that's good
Speaker 4: way to go, Idaho.
Speaker 1: I don't say that much.
Speaker 3: I just want that makes me think of it. Bridgetown
Speaker 3: Irene shred Bridgetown back when it exists.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I did it the very last year. Oh cool,
Speaker 5: it existed.
Speaker 3: Wait a second, maybe that was the first time I
Speaker 3: met you in passing one time, like on a sidewalk
Speaker 3: very briefly.
Speaker 5: I wasn't sure if we had met actually, so I
Speaker 5: couldn't remember.
Speaker 3: I just remember being introduced to you, and you were
Speaker 3: very It was just you were just almost like kind
Speaker 3: of like it's like, okay, this.
Speaker 1: Is cool, which also mean that's why.
Speaker 4: It's also that side of Irene where I'm like, she
Speaker 4: she'll she'll be cool if we have to go hide
Speaker 4: this duffel bag, yes she will, or sorry we have
Speaker 4: to pick up.
Speaker 1: A duffel bag and hide it.
Speaker 3: Done.
Speaker 1: I kept forgetting which job I'm doing tonight.
Speaker 3: Please yeah, please keep drugs.
Speaker 4: It's called being cool. That's Irene is cool in a
Speaker 4: classic way.
Speaker 3: Oh well, thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I didn't remember if we had met, because if we had,
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, it's probably really brief because I
Speaker 5: know we hadn't had like a full conce.
Speaker 3: No, we've never we've never even said like, hey, how
Speaker 3: were your like the idea that you actually started somewhere
Speaker 3: but then really your home places. Sanrancis goes like me too,
Speaker 3: but uh, it just made me think. So it could
Speaker 3: have been that last year of Bridgetown, which was such
Speaker 3: a fun year too, Chris, I think you're yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, I think that the year I met Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: that could have been it.
Speaker 3: But it made me think of that that one theater
Speaker 3: that everything kind of was centered in, and they're the
Speaker 3: upstairs where there was a pool table. They kept putting
Speaker 3: pizzas out on pizzas and dances, and every time I
Speaker 3: would put there was water obviously everywhere, And every time
Speaker 3: I put my water bottle down, I would turn around
Speaker 3: and then there would be like fifty two water bottles
Speaker 3: and I'd be like, oh shit, which one's fine? And
Speaker 3: I would just go start a new one. Yeah, Like
Speaker 3: sod the waste that year alone, because everyone would do
Speaker 3: it where you just like take three SIPs and then
Speaker 3: you be like, hey, I have no idea which one
Speaker 3: is mine.
Speaker 5: They should have had like markers to label them.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, everyone has a little marker in a holster.
Speaker 4: I just want everyone to have a utility belt.
Speaker 3: Too hippy for me. I don't want to just.
Speaker 4: Be yeah, yeah, there, it doesn't it's not good for
Speaker 4: the silhouette, right.
Speaker 5: I will say at Bridgetown that was one of the
Speaker 5: worst bombs I've ever had for me and multiple comics.
Speaker 5: There was a Bay Area showcase where it was like
Speaker 5: comics that used to live in the Bay or lived
Speaker 5: in the Bay whatever at one of the Bridgetown shows
Speaker 5: and literally we all bombed so hard, like not a
Speaker 5: single laugh. I'll bring it up to like like I'd
Speaker 5: be like, hey, remember that time we bombed a Bridgetown
Speaker 5: and like they'll be like, oh my god, like how.
Speaker 3: Could I forget?
Speaker 1: Where was that VFW was?
Speaker 3: It was not a VFW.
Speaker 5: I think it was like a bar, like a bar show,
Speaker 5: but but everyone bombed except Brent Weinbach murdered.
Speaker 3: Yes, Oh wow. Do you feel comfortable naming other people
Speaker 3: who bomb?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Bomb?
Speaker 3: Who? I mean, that's the fun part.
Speaker 4: Bomb the hardest name we all well, I think we
Speaker 4: all just bombed.
Speaker 5: It was me, Andre Rolfo, j R. De Guzman and
Speaker 5: maybe I think there was one other comic and I
Speaker 5: can't remember who it was, but I just remember I'd
Speaker 5: like talk to JR. And Andrew about it and just
Speaker 5: just ate it so hard. Like anytime we'll be like,
Speaker 5: hey that one time, they're like, oh god, you know,
Speaker 5: it's just like PTSD Wait a.
Speaker 3: Second, was it in that bar? That had neon like
Speaker 3: black light paint on the walls.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: That. I remember there was a show where people it
Speaker 3: was it was kind of during the day and people
Speaker 3: came out and they were just like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: what just happened. And I don't think it was yours.
Speaker 3: I think it was another done.
Speaker 5: I think ours was.
Speaker 3: In the evening, but I don't remember the room.
Speaker 1: You're talking about it.
Speaker 4: We all have our desired setup, a short, normal stage,
Speaker 4: low ceiling, ideally to be in a corner, and then
Speaker 4: the room fans out to the audience who's in an
Speaker 4: elevated theater setting. But that room was just a pit,
Speaker 4: like a sunken bedroom, like a pit, so you're down
Speaker 4: lower than everyone and everyone was just looking down at
Speaker 4: you on the ground floor, and there's like a cat
Speaker 4: walk around. It was more like a dog fight situation,
Speaker 4: like where you would hold or chicken whatever kind of
Speaker 4: fights you go to.
Speaker 1: Chickens or dogs usually is what I end up at.
Speaker 4: But that's yeah, it's not good for comedymedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was It was net part of the theater,
Speaker 4: like there was a big, big room and then the
Speaker 4: side room was the neon room, and it was just
Speaker 4: everyone came out yeah, white as a ghost.
Speaker 3: People suffered. People suffered in that room. Also that I
Speaker 3: feel like that year. I think that was the year
Speaker 3: that Gallagher showed up. Yeah, and he was on Andy
Speaker 3: and Matt's Probably Science podcast and he immediately started saying
Speaker 3: offensive things on purpose, and the audience is like, oh,
Speaker 3: and then it just kind of kept going and then
Speaker 3: we were like, oh, this is just a crazy old
Speaker 3: guy now.
Speaker 4: An angry guy that had seventeen HBO specials where he
Speaker 4: used to joyfully jump on a trampoline couch and now
Speaker 4: he will just list all the different races that are
Speaker 4: a problem or you know, like he's really it's.
Speaker 3: Sad that it was sad, and also that it almost
Speaker 3: was like kind of a early warning of that thing
Speaker 3: what was happening to people where it's just like, oh,
Speaker 3: you've been left alone with your like the bad websites
Speaker 3: too long, that kind of like, oh, you know how
Speaker 3: it is with these fill in the blank of it
Speaker 3: pretty much anybody besides a white man like that crazy
Speaker 3: thing where and he's a comedy festival where the average
Speaker 3: ages thirty five, where it's like, who are you talking?
Speaker 3: To right now like it was rough.
Speaker 4: I think he felt because I did try to calmly
Speaker 4: talk to him and let acknowledge that I remember who
Speaker 4: he was and that I watched all his specials, and.
Speaker 3: Then he was like he was it was the problem.
Speaker 4: I think he thought everyone he was there as a
Speaker 4: joke and everyone was there to shit on him and
Speaker 4: turn on like he thought that he was a punchline
Speaker 4: because he kind of became one because he was.
Speaker 1: Being a dick to everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But the most symbolic thing about him being.
Speaker 4: There is he had a hat that had what his
Speaker 4: hair used to look like attached to the brim of it,
Speaker 4: and they put it over his patchy, existing gollum like hair.
Speaker 3: Wait, did he was it for a joke?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: No, he had like a pay hat, yeah, a two
Speaker 4: pay hat.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It was just yeah, just to have for the
Speaker 1: old looks. And I just.
Speaker 3: Remember that thing happened in that neon room also, so
Speaker 3: it was I was like, well, I hope I never
Speaker 3: have said.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that room you're scarred by just velvet paintings for
Speaker 4: life now and any kind of black light.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I don't think I went to the neon room.
Speaker 4: It was all I had one of those rooms where
Speaker 4: you're like, oh, I didn't know my clothing was riddled
Speaker 4: with I hope toothpaste. Yeah, oh god, why is it
Speaker 4: right up front?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think that Also that year people say Andy Dick
Speaker 4: running from the cops. There was a lot of like
Speaker 4: famous people. Everyone was acting crazy. I think maybe it
Speaker 4: was a full moon.
Speaker 1: I was jumping into dumpsters.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was a fun, dramatic year that.
Speaker 1: We're just describing. Fun.
Speaker 3: True. I mean I want to I really wish that
Speaker 3: you had already done like three days of this festival
Speaker 3: so you can be telling us festival gossip right now
Speaker 3: or something like somebody did a thing. Would you mind
Speaker 3: like writing stuff down after? I would?
Speaker 5: I mean I am usually the last to know any
Speaker 5: festival gossip because I'm so boring and like a square
Speaker 5: and I'm I don't drink, so it's like, oh, I
Speaker 5: don't get the fun like drunk stuff. But if I
Speaker 5: hear any festival gossip, oh, I will be writing it
Speaker 5: down and sending it okay please?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Because I mean since Quarantine, it's just been so
Speaker 3: dry with any truly, it's like anything at all. It's
Speaker 3: just like does anything happen anymore?
Speaker 4: Just give us something, make something up. Also, you're not boring.
Speaker 4: I remember I said you're cool.
Speaker 5: Oh I know, you know I'm trying to make boring cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah okay, I got try and merge those words.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, I mean so when I when I describe
Speaker 5: myself as bold, I'm not saying it is as a
Speaker 5: bad thing.
Speaker 3: I think it's cool. I'm trying to turn it around.
Speaker 3: I'm turning it around the person that leaves first and
Speaker 3: is kind of like, well, have fun, you guys. That
Speaker 3: really is the coolest move you can make, where it's
Speaker 3: just like, yeah, I don't need any of this.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, it brings me so much joy. I'm like,
Speaker 5: I don't need any of this validation that people are seeking.
Speaker 5: I'm going to go back to my room and do
Speaker 5: what I want.
Speaker 4: To say, like later Nerds, and then you take off
Speaker 4: and go into the bathroom like Phonsie and wait it
Speaker 4: out alone.
Speaker 5: Comb your hair, just moisturize, you know, do my whole
Speaker 5: bedtime routine. I'm trying to look young. I'm trying to
Speaker 5: stay young.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, okay, not to drastically change the subject as
Speaker 4: we near the.
Speaker 3: End, what moisturizer do you use?
Speaker 5: But let's just everyone whatever, what I just use the hotels?
Speaker 4: Why why was why why was he always in the bathroom?
Speaker 4: Why was Phonsie why was that his office?
Speaker 1: Was that a joke?
Speaker 3: Uh no, not just wear the mirror where he'd comb
Speaker 3: his hair and he'd have meetings you know.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, he'd bring people in there and they'd chat
Speaker 4: shed out by the toilet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you couldn't do it in a booth. There's
Speaker 3: no rules.
Speaker 1: Private it's private time. That's why.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 4: I don't know, he's he made a He made the
Speaker 4: toilet cool though, And that's what Irene's doing with being
Speaker 4: with being boring.
Speaker 3: That's what I reins doing with the lotion that you
Speaker 3: get from the hotel, which is so hilarious, Like I'm
Speaker 3: gonna do my routine and then it's like, what moistureser
Speaker 3: do you use? You know? Whatever's there that fucking weird
Speaker 3: little thing of like the moisturizer that somehow is dry
Speaker 3: as you're putting it on, Like.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, you gotta watch where you put it.
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 1: Oh there it is, Yeah, that'll leave it.
Speaker 5: Oh no, I'm holding it up to the camera.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 5: This is this is the lotion that came with the room.
Speaker 3: Is it pretty good?
Speaker 4: That seems like a good brand, that seems there I've
Speaker 4: never heard of the ingredients are on it.
Speaker 3: You'll know tonight. Yeah, as you watch it.
Speaker 5: I feel like in most nice hotels have pretty good
Speaker 5: lotion decent.
Speaker 4: A lot of them don't anymore, and I think that's
Speaker 4: because filthy men use it to mastrobate, not to bring
Speaker 4: This isn't a dirty podcast, and it's not usually something
Speaker 4: Karen and I talk about, but I have I suspect
Speaker 4: that is why, because sometimes I need lotion and it's
Speaker 4: not in the room to masturbate with, and it's not
Speaker 4: in the room anymore.
Speaker 1: They've quit giving it.
Speaker 4: They're like, oh, there's two shampoos, there's a place to
Speaker 4: put the lotion, but they just add extra shampoo.
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to make that mistake twice.
Speaker 3: If that's what you're going to be abusing this lotion with,
Speaker 3: and we will.
Speaker 5: Then you shampoo, you shampoo, use.
Speaker 3: Up moisturizing shampoo. That'll work. Yeah, that'll wait, that'll be fine.
Speaker 3: I just remember there's been times where going on the
Speaker 3: road and being like I want to make this bag.
Speaker 3: I want to make as much room as possible in
Speaker 3: this bag, and so I'll go, Oh, the hotel will provide.
Speaker 3: And then so I will always let the hotel provide
Speaker 3: my shampoo, because that's just like and it's gone. But
Speaker 3: I will not. I can't rely on their conditioner because
Speaker 3: I have such dry hair condition and I can't rely
Speaker 3: on their moisturizer if if I'm going to because I
Speaker 3: have an old face.
Speaker 4: No, you're right, the soap's fine, but from there, at
Speaker 4: the softening of your tarsues, that's on you. We gotta
Speaker 4: take We're grown ups, we gotta take that shit seriously.
Speaker 5: Really, I mean, you're correct, I should be using priceier
Speaker 5: lotion and stuff, but I'm Asian, so I'm riding this out.
Speaker 5: You simply don't have to. Yeah, and you know should
Speaker 5: don't raise it or whatever.
Speaker 1: Wait, did you just make that up?
Speaker 3: No, that's a thing.
Speaker 5: Somebody said that before.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, I'm not saying I like it, but
Speaker 4: if you just came up with it right in that moment.
Speaker 5: No, that's definitely somebody's joke.
Speaker 1: Well, you have to go, you're you have a concert
Speaker 1: in about an hour.
Speaker 3: I love that we put all of our all of
Speaker 3: our festival wishes and wants on Irene were just like
Speaker 3: I remember a time. Yeah for being a guest on
Speaker 3: our podcast today. Yeah, a great time at Moontower. Thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope I don't bomb again.
Speaker 4: Like you know, you're gonna be just it's gonna be
Speaker 4: so fun because it's been years since anyone's truly been
Speaker 4: to a festival like that one. That's a big one,
Speaker 4: and you're gonna have so much fun. I don't even
Speaker 4: need to tell you. Even if you want to go
Speaker 4: home early, you're still gonna have fun.
Speaker 3: Which I will, but don't not super early, like you know,
Speaker 3: hang out for seven minutes so you can take a
Speaker 3: cu couple notes for us.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, of course, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna hang
Speaker 5: out for like thirty minutes to an hour and then
Speaker 5: I like it.
Speaker 3: That's it. That's the way to do it. Yep.
Speaker 1: Well have fun on my behalf.
Speaker 4: Say hi to Austin, and if you run into Matt Sadler,
Speaker 4: tell him thanks for making me start.
Speaker 5: Your whole career. Yeah, I'm gonna be like, thank every
Speaker 5: Christopher Banks says, oh wow, thanks for everything.
Speaker 1: Like ninety nine to like three, just say thank him
Speaker 1: for that.
Speaker 3: I got it.
Speaker 1: From here.
Speaker 4: I remember telling him yeah, and then I left skip Town.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, have fun and thanks for being on our show.
Speaker 5: Thanks for having me. I love talking with you guys.
Speaker 3: It's great. Great to actually get to talk to you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know. Yeah, we'll have to do it again. Yes,
Speaker 5: for sure.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?
Speaker 3: D y n A.
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3: Produced by Casey O'Brien.
Speaker 1: Mix by John Bradley.
Speaker 3: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 3: podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 4: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3: Listen, follow and leave us a review on Amazon Music,
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and don't forget.
Speaker 4: You can listen to new episodes one week early on
Speaker 4: Amazon Music or early and ad free by subscribing to
Speaker 4: Wondery Plus in the Wondery app.
Speaker 3: Thank you, quo, You're welcome.
Speaker 1: That's what we do.
Speaker 4: I do that every time Irene like and I'm a
Speaker 4: grown up and I make that sound