Speaker 1: Music saved me.
Speaker 2: But telling that story through my music and watching you know,
Speaker 2: the tens of thousands, one hundred thousands of people gravitate
Speaker 2: towards that fine inspiration and hope in my music and
Speaker 2: use my music to help them get through whatever they're
Speaker 2: going through. And then they get to meet them at
Speaker 2: meet and Greece at shows and hug their neck and
Speaker 2: you know them crown our shoulder. And that's what's cant
Speaker 2: me going, That's what's capt me straight.
Speaker 1: I'm Lyn Hoffman, and welcome to the Music Saved Me Podcast,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we get the incredible opportunity to chat
Speaker 1: with musicians who share their stories about overcoming adversity or
Speaker 1: what I like to call obstacles through the healing power
Speaker 1: of music. If you enjoy our show, please share it
Speaker 1: with your friends and check out our companion podcast with
Speaker 1: a really cool guy that I think you're going to
Speaker 1: like a lot. His name is Buzznight and he hosts
Speaker 1: a really great podcast, also music related, called Taking a Walk,
Speaker 1: and you can find that wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: All right, today, we are really excited to welcome Struggle
Speaker 1: Jennings as the grandson of Whylon Jennings and Jesse Coulter.
Speaker 1: He hails from a legacy of outlaws and rock stars,
Speaker 1: which I think should be the name of your next album.
Speaker 1: Struggle has new music out called Live from Rikers Island,
Speaker 1: and he's also had chart topping success with one of
Speaker 1: our very first guests on the Music Save Me podcast,
Speaker 1: Jelly Roll. Struggle is also the face of the Sound
Speaker 1: Sobriety Rehab Clinics, which is a revolutionary music themed rehab
Speaker 1: program that we'll also get to discuss. Welcome Struggle Jennings
Speaker 1: to Music Save Me. It's so great to have you here, so.
Speaker 3: Good to be here. I'm so grateful, Thank you for
Speaker 3: having me.
Speaker 1: I could have you talk to me forever. That voice
Speaker 1: is just I'm sort of a voice geek, even just talking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to say thank you so much.
Speaker 1: All right, let's start at the beginning, Struggle, can you
Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about your musical upbringing and
Speaker 1: some of your early influences when you were growing up
Speaker 1: in Nashville.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, I'm an eighties baby, and I grew up,
Speaker 2: of course in a musical family. My mom had a
Speaker 2: piano in the house, and my grandfather was whaling, and
Speaker 2: grandmother Jesse and so the first ten years of my life,
Speaker 2: or from the time I was four to six, my
Speaker 2: mom was touring with Whalan as a backup singer, and
Speaker 2: so summertimes stuff like that, I'd get to go out
Speaker 2: on tour with them, and standing backstage and you know,
Speaker 2: watching Whalan do his sing and watching my mom sing
Speaker 2: and hearing the instruments. I was automatically just so drawing
Speaker 2: to the emotion and music. And of course we'll get
Speaker 2: into it a little bit later. But like my mother,
Speaker 2: you know, she liked bad boys. She didn't want to
Speaker 2: take handouts from Whalan. So we ended up living in
Speaker 2: lower class areas throughout Nashville. And so as I was
Speaker 2: growing hip hop, really as it was blowing up, it's
Speaker 2: what I really latched onto, you know, the storytelling and
Speaker 2: the stories of hard times and heartbreak and the same
Speaker 2: as country. Just it was that generation, you know, and
Speaker 2: that was the That's what spoke to me due to
Speaker 2: my environment more than anything. So at a young age,
Speaker 2: I started writing poetry and falling in love with music.
Speaker 2: And you know, my mom would play the piano every
Speaker 2: night when she'd get off work, or every morning when
Speaker 2: she woke me up for school. She would start today
Speaker 2: singing hymn notes and playing and you know, kind of
Speaker 2: infuse that energetic, happy, blessed to be awake environment even
Speaker 2: through our hardest times. She was sixteen when she had me,
Speaker 2: so you know, we struggled a lot with her growing
Speaker 2: up and us kind of raising each other.
Speaker 3: But she always tried to.
Speaker 2: Infuse music into the house household as uplifting and as
Speaker 2: a way. So I latched onto that immediately, And a
Speaker 2: lot of my influences, of course, was wailing musically. A
Speaker 2: lot it came from my tupac, you know, with my
Speaker 2: lyricism and telling my story in a way that others
Speaker 2: could gravitate towards it. Right, Like always, even when I
Speaker 2: was just doing poems when I was young, writing poems
Speaker 2: in school, but it was always something maybe not that
Speaker 2: I went through, but that I was watching somebody else
Speaker 2: go through. And it's really heartfelt things.
Speaker 1: Well, that's interesting, So even when you were young, you
Speaker 1: observed things and were inspired to write about them poetically.
Speaker 2: Yeah. One of the first poems that ever wrote was
Speaker 2: about abortion, and of course I was like eleven years old,
Speaker 2: so I didn't really even understand what that concept was.
Speaker 2: But it was called nine Months and it was about
Speaker 2: being in the womb and then but you know, then.
Speaker 3: It was about abortion.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I was always I've always been like the
Speaker 2: person to like soak up everything around me, like we'll
Speaker 2: get into it later. I did five years in prison,
Speaker 2: and I didn't write a single song while I was
Speaker 2: in there because I was like, I want to just
Speaker 2: really take care of everything else I need to take
Speaker 2: care of right now, observe, soak this up and then
Speaker 2: I'll tell the story when I leave. And I've always
Speaker 2: just been that kind of person, you know, like super pathic.
Speaker 1: So well, do you do you remember? And pathic is
Speaker 1: a phenomenal way to explain it. Do you remember the
Speaker 1: first moment that music really deeply touched you?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's I.
Speaker 2: Don't I think it's been happening so long that I
Speaker 2: probably don't remember the exact but I remember being in
Speaker 2: kindergarten and liking a girl named Sarah in school, and
Speaker 2: that song Sarah was like on the radio, and I
Speaker 2: can remember just like being emotional on the way to
Speaker 2: school thinking about this girl that is in I'm in
Speaker 2: kindergarten that I have a crush on, you know, and
Speaker 2: latching onto that song or you know, my Mom was
Speaker 2: really musical since she was always listening to the radio,
Speaker 2: Like music was constant when we were in the car
Speaker 2: and the music was up all the way, And as
Speaker 2: long as I can remember, I can remember the feeling
Speaker 2: of the emotion from the songs, right, So, like I
Speaker 2: can pinpoint a time of my life to a song.
Speaker 2: A lot of times an emotion like when I was
Speaker 2: going through a breakup, or when I was, you know,
Speaker 2: going through a tough time in school, or you know,
Speaker 2: when I lost my father ten I can kind of
Speaker 2: pinpoint songs to that because I've latched on so heavy
Speaker 2: my whole life to music and the emotion that came
Speaker 2: from it, whether it's to soothe or to inspire or
Speaker 2: to make me feel better about whatever the situation I'm
Speaker 2: going through, or you know, like I've got all these
Speaker 2: different playlists and the range of music is.
Speaker 3: So wide, you know, depending on you know, if I'm
Speaker 3: going to the.
Speaker 2: Gym and I need like something that's going to get
Speaker 2: me there, or if I'm sad or happier. You know,
Speaker 2: music has such a power of being able to steer.
Speaker 1: That for sure. And speaking of steering, you were once
Speaker 1: hailed as one of Nashville's top rappers. And I'm curious,
Speaker 1: despite your country music routs, what grew you to wrap
Speaker 1: hip hop?
Speaker 3: Well, it was just the environment. It was the era.
Speaker 2: It was, you know, the eighties and on up in
Speaker 2: the early nineties, becoming a teenager and you know, ninety three,
Speaker 2: ninety four and Tupac and the long list of you know,
Speaker 2: UGK and A Ball and MJG. That were like from
Speaker 2: kind of close to where I'm from, and growing up,
Speaker 2: that was what I gravitated towards, you know.
Speaker 3: And by the time I was twelve, I was in
Speaker 3: a gang.
Speaker 2: My mom was working two jobs, and my dad was
Speaker 2: murdered when I was ten, and so my wife had
Speaker 2: kind of taken this huge shift to a different path,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: And rap is just what I latched onto. It's what
Speaker 3: spoke to me.
Speaker 2: It's what made me feel okay, it's what made me
Speaker 2: feel like I wasn't alone and what I was going
Speaker 2: through how I felt then, I you know, I started
Speaker 2: writing raps at twelve thirteen years old and decided that's
Speaker 2: what I wanted to do, you know. And of course
Speaker 2: life had its different obstacles and different you know, speed bumps,
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that's really where that came from.
Speaker 3: But country music was still always a backdrop, you know.
Speaker 2: It was always the soundtrack, you know, when I was
Speaker 2: with my dad or when you know, after my dad
Speaker 2: was gone and I was with my uncle's, country was
Speaker 2: what everybody was listening to country or southern rock, and
Speaker 2: so that was always ingrained in me, and I would
Speaker 2: I found the same kind of comforting country a lot
Speaker 2: of times just because of the storytelling.
Speaker 3: So they kind of both coincided in my life.
Speaker 2: To really pay that path to me being one of
Speaker 2: the first artists to ever mix the two genres, you know,
Speaker 2: and then now leaning into country and finding what my
Speaker 2: voice is, what my world in country music is. And
Speaker 2: a lot of these songs that I'm doing now are
Speaker 2: coming out really old school, and you know, it's natural.
Speaker 2: It's not like we're pushing to get a sound or
Speaker 2: we're pushing it. We're just going in there and writing
Speaker 2: about my life and.
Speaker 3: Laying the instruments to it. And it's turning out.
Speaker 2: I've got sixty five unreleased country songs right now.
Speaker 3: Wow, coming up in the next year.
Speaker 1: So congratulations.
Speaker 2: You know, I took a break from touring last year
Speaker 2: for just a few months.
Speaker 3: For three months.
Speaker 2: I still did over one hundred shows last year, but
Speaker 2: for three months I took a break from touring and
Speaker 2: wrote over one hundred songs in those three months.
Speaker 1: It's been working. How did you having Whalen Jennings as
Speaker 1: a grandfather impact your relationship with music?
Speaker 2: Well, one, you know, growing up with him as my grandfather,
Speaker 2: I didn't really you know, he's papa. So until I
Speaker 2: got older, I didn't realize, like, oh man, my papa
Speaker 2: is like the band. Like back then, he was just papa,
Speaker 2: and I knew he was. I knew he was famous.
Speaker 2: But also in school and stuff, kids would give me
Speaker 2: stuff about it, like, you know, you know, my mom said,
Speaker 2: your dad's your grandpa is not a country music star.
Speaker 2: He's just a drug addict or you know, because he
Speaker 2: had been going through legal cases with his drug abuse
Speaker 2: and stuff. But I didn't know that side of him
Speaker 2: because and I think it was an eighty five or
Speaker 2: somewhere when I was like five or six, he had
Speaker 2: that big heart attack and he quit doing everything. So
Speaker 2: when I was just really young, he switched over to
Speaker 2: a whole nother role as who he was, and I
Speaker 2: got the best years of him. You know as a grandfather,
Speaker 2: but musically it drew me, of course, closer to music.
Speaker 2: Watching the guy that was like, you know everything my
Speaker 2: dad wasn't around anymore, and wailing it stepped up to
Speaker 2: the plate to really be like my father, and getting
Speaker 2: to watch him walk out on those stages and the
Speaker 2: people just go crazy, and him sing those songs, and
Speaker 2: that of course solidified what I wanted to do as
Speaker 2: a man. He taught me so much about family and
Speaker 2: about integrity and about standing your ground and not selling
Speaker 2: out or selling yourself short. Musically, he inspired me so
Speaker 2: much to just tell your story and be truthful and
Speaker 2: honest and just be you. Don't try to be like
Speaker 2: somebody else, or you know, don't follow he used to say,
Speaker 2: don't follow in my footsteps.
Speaker 3: Find your own life, you know, stand in my shadow. Yeah.
Speaker 2: There's so much that I gained from those years with
Speaker 2: him being my grandfather. But when I was young, I
Speaker 2: didn't you know, He's just like, yeah, whyn't Jens is
Speaker 2: my grandfather And some people are like yeah, right, or
Speaker 2: really or you know, And it got to a point
Speaker 2: when I was older, I didn't tell anybody for a
Speaker 2: few years. Yellow Wolf tells the story all the time
Speaker 2: that he was you know me and they were best
Speaker 2: friends for almost a year before I even brought it up.
Speaker 4: Because yeah reaction, he was like what, yeah, right, you know,
Speaker 4: but I didn't want to be judged that way musically
Speaker 4: coming in, Like I didn't adopt the name Jennings until
Speaker 4: probably twenty and twelve, twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2: Like, I was just struggle. You know, there's a lot
Speaker 2: that comes with that. You know, some people automatically assume, oh,
Speaker 2: you've had it easier. You're riding your grandpa's coat tails.
Speaker 2: You've had it easier because of who he is. It's like, man,
Speaker 2: it makes it ten times harder. They expect you to
Speaker 2: fill his shoes. They say, oh, you're not like your
Speaker 2: grand wall.
Speaker 3: Of course I'm not. I'm not him.
Speaker 2: Myself, you know, I'm doing things my own way, and.
Speaker 3: So there it actually makes it a lot harder.
Speaker 2: Now, it makes for a good conversation piece, you know,
Speaker 2: when you walk into a room of musicians or artists,
Speaker 2: of course, but as far as in the industry or fans,
Speaker 2: there was no head, you know, there was no like
Speaker 2: I didn't get any free rise because of that.
Speaker 3: If anything, it made it.
Speaker 1: A lot harder I bet it was.
Speaker 2: And the reason the reason I even adopted the name
Speaker 2: is because that's what they started calling me. They started
Speaker 2: calling me struggled Jennings when like everybody was talking about
Speaker 2: me going to prison and like.
Speaker 3: The news, you know.
Speaker 2: And dear friend of mine who's been riding with me
Speaker 2: the whole time and helped me build my brand, a
Speaker 2: guy named Sebastians Marberry. He was like, man, if you
Speaker 2: type in struggle on Google, you're never going to find you.
Speaker 3: But you put in Jennings, you know it'll pop up.
Speaker 2: And I talked to a Shooter about it, and Shooter
Speaker 2: was like, man, please, that would be amazing, like pay
Speaker 2: homage to them and use the name.
Speaker 3: So I fought it for a while, but it just
Speaker 3: kind of came part of the story. You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great legacy. And I understand that because
Speaker 1: I've talked to so many artists who have kids who
Speaker 1: have said the words like I've ruined my kids. They
Speaker 1: all think they're going to be just like me, and
Speaker 1: it's you know, there you are with your grandfather, and
Speaker 1: it's a tremendous burden to carry, especially if you're going
Speaker 1: to go right into that same industry. Yeah, I totally know.
Speaker 2: One of the things that I think one of the
Speaker 2: things that helped the most about being his grandson and
Speaker 2: having that relationship even in my darkest moments, even when
Speaker 2: my music wasn't streaming, even when I had a fiction
Speaker 2: notices on the door, even when you know, I was
Speaker 2: getting into trouble and fighting court cases, and regardless all
Speaker 2: the different phases of my life, I never gave up
Speaker 2: because he was a clear example that I had from
Speaker 2: as early as I can remember that he came from nothing,
Speaker 2: dirt floors in Texas and to me seeing him that
Speaker 2: his prime with you know, a nanny and maids and
Speaker 2: Cadillacs and Mercedes and guards at the shack and you know,
Speaker 2: like so I got to see what was possible. So
Speaker 2: regardless of how bad things got, always had that glimmer
Speaker 2: of faith and hope that it would it's possible. And
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people from my neighborhood and
Speaker 2: a lot of my old friends, they never had that,
Speaker 2: And that was one of the defining things, you know,
Speaker 2: And I'll try to instill that in my kids now
Speaker 2: and in other people's kids. You know, I have friends
Speaker 2: that are still struggling and you know, work, you know,
Speaker 2: sixty hours a week to still barely getting by, and
Speaker 2: they can't do as much for their kids as maybe
Speaker 2: I can. But I try to pick up that slack
Speaker 2: and take them on vacations and do things because I
Speaker 2: want those kids to see that too. Like this is,
Speaker 2: if you get a taste of that better life, sometimes
Speaker 2: you'll you'll never settle for less. And I think that
Speaker 2: what one of the differences was is I never settled
Speaker 2: and I never gave up, regardless of what was handed
Speaker 2: to me or what was in front of me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's something that's definitely built in when you
Speaker 1: know it naturally to not give up, and you know,
Speaker 1: people leading ahead of you by example certainly put that
Speaker 1: out there, but you have to be able to see
Speaker 1: it and make that choice. And that's really hard, I
Speaker 1: think for a lot of people to just choose to
Speaker 1: not give up. Yeah, it sounds so simple, but it's
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, it's a choice.
Speaker 3: It's a choice. There was many times in my life
Speaker 3: where I never thought the music would work.
Speaker 2: Out, and you know, being Tony Montana wasn't working out.
Speaker 1: And.
Speaker 2: You know, all these different phases of my life and
Speaker 2: the neighborhood that I come from West Nashville. It's called
Speaker 2: the Nations. It's surrounded by prisons and factories. And you know,
Speaker 2: in our neighborhood, you either worked at the factories or
Speaker 2: you want to prison. You know.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like those were the two, and so like.
Speaker 2: To make it in that neighborhood is to get a
Speaker 2: job with the city, you know.
Speaker 3: Work your way up to twenty dollars an hour in
Speaker 3: a retirement fund, you know.
Speaker 2: And I just I always saw past that so far
Speaker 2: that I never could settle into that comfort.
Speaker 1: You know, you're a visionary. You know, you speak quite openly.
Speaker 1: I've seen on TikTok and a couple of other places
Speaker 1: about a very pivotal moment in your life. Although you
Speaker 1: saw the potential in the future, you still ended up
Speaker 1: going through quite a bit of strife to get where
Speaker 1: you are now. And when you were in prison, you
Speaker 1: decided to turn your life around. That was the moment,
Speaker 1: at least, that's what I can recall from what you
Speaker 1: would had said. Yeah, can can you describe that moment?
Speaker 1: That that moment for the listeners right now? Because I
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, you're such an amazing example of
Speaker 1: someone who has like everybody thinks, you had it all
Speaker 1: and you had all the best influences from the top down,
Speaker 1: and you saw the good, you saw the bad, but
Speaker 1: you still ended up where you ended up. How did
Speaker 1: you What was that moment like for you? And can
Speaker 1: you tell us?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, you know, there was a lot of in and
Speaker 2: outs as far as jail, and you know, I tempted
Speaker 2: to change my life a few times and been successful
Speaker 2: and then failed, and you know, took steps forward and
Speaker 2: fell steps back. And at one point I did fifteen
Speaker 2: months in jail for a marijuana case and got out
Speaker 2: and my kids were scattered. The mother of my kids
Speaker 2: was fighting a fed case, and so I went and
Speaker 2: got my kids and I was a single dad with
Speaker 2: two kids. And I did good for like five six years,
Speaker 2: stayed straight, working you know, two jobs if I had to,
Speaker 2: and started having more kids with the mother of my
Speaker 2: three youngest.
Speaker 3: And fell back in.
Speaker 2: You know, it was like one too too many or
Speaker 2: too too many viction notices and you know, jobs not
Speaker 2: panning out, and you know, I just I kept I
Speaker 2: kept working hard, and that I you know, get knocked
Speaker 2: down and or allowed myself to fall. I hate to
Speaker 2: use the get knocked down, because we have this choice
Speaker 2: as well, right to get back up. And I fell
Speaker 2: short numerous times in and out of jail, and I
Speaker 2: you know, did good for years and then I fall
Speaker 2: back off. And then this last time when I went
Speaker 2: to prison. At that point, I had five kids, and
Speaker 2: I was watching the ones that I thought for so
Speaker 2: long I was doing right by you know, where I
Speaker 2: was instilled with a lot of irrational beliefs at a
Speaker 2: young age.
Speaker 3: You know, you feature.
Speaker 2: Family by any means necessary. It's okay to do wrong
Speaker 2: if you're doing it for the right reasons. You know,
Speaker 2: I live by that. I justify everything by like, I'm
Speaker 2: just doing this for my kids. I'm just doing this
Speaker 2: for my family, to take care of my kids.
Speaker 3: You know. Then when those gate shut, my kids became
Speaker 3: the biggest victim.
Speaker 2: They were left without a father, without someone to protect them,
Speaker 2: provide for them. You know, my wife at the time
Speaker 2: was left without a partner, without the man that was
Speaker 2: paying the bills and taking care of her. So I
Speaker 2: got slapped with that reality real fast that hey, I'm
Speaker 2: not the man I thought I was, and I'm not
Speaker 2: being a good father, I'm not being a good husband.
Speaker 2: I'm not being a good son, I'm not being a
Speaker 2: good friend by continuing to put my family through this.
Speaker 2: That's a hard pill to swallow, you know, when you
Speaker 2: really have to look at things and take accountability and say,
Speaker 2: everything that is happening to me and everything that is
Speaker 2: happening to the people that I love, is a direct
Speaker 2: result of a decision that I made.
Speaker 3: You know, you can't really hide anymore. You can't hide behind,
Speaker 3: you can't justify.
Speaker 2: You know, you can't be mad at the guy that
Speaker 2: told on you because I shouldn't have been doing what
Speaker 2: I was doing. And then the top that I'm watching
Speaker 2: what's happening the mother of my kids hooking up with
Speaker 2: another guy getting addicted to drugs again, and when I worked.
Speaker 3: Hard to get her off of them.
Speaker 2: My children being drug through the mud and in the
Speaker 2: bad situations, you know, having to make those phone calls
Speaker 2: home and my five year old daughter at the time
Speaker 2: is crying, saying, Daddy, we have an eight and I'm
Speaker 2: having a teacher from a jail phone how to make
Speaker 2: macaroni and cheese so she can feed her two siblings
Speaker 2: because her mom's passed out on drugs. And realizing that
Speaker 2: I'm not there. I can't protect them, you know. And
Speaker 2: then my daughter got molested in a drug house, you know.
Speaker 2: And I'm finding all this out while sitting behind concrete
Speaker 2: and still with no one to blame but myself. You
Speaker 2: come to a point where you're like, hey, the same
Speaker 2: way I messed all this up, I'm the only one
Speaker 2: that can fix it. So I decided to just really
Speaker 2: buckle down and work to become the best man that
Speaker 2: I could make sure that my kids never had to
Speaker 2: go through that again. There were a lot of moments
Speaker 2: in there where I'm looking around the room and I'm
Speaker 2: seeing the guys that are gambling and smoking cigarettes, eating
Speaker 2: honey buns and you know, and then I'm seeing the
Speaker 2: guys that are reading books, going to every program, working out.
Speaker 3: I said, that's what I want to do.
Speaker 2: So I spent every day of my five years training mind, body, soul, spirit,
Speaker 2: finding out, stripping down all those layers and finding out
Speaker 2: why do I keep coming back? Why do I keep
Speaker 2: coming here? How can I stop this fish a cycle?
Speaker 2: Because my uncle said it. My dad was killed when
Speaker 2: I was ten, and you know, he was a great man,
Speaker 2: but you know, he sold drugs and worked all and
Speaker 2: just a good old boy.
Speaker 3: But it's a vicious cycle. You know.
Speaker 2: Wailing passed from drug induced diabetes, you know, from years
Speaker 2: of addiction. I don't want my kids to have to
Speaker 2: go through what I went through. I want them to
Speaker 2: have a father, I want them to have a role model.
Speaker 2: I want them to have somebody that can look up to,
Speaker 2: look to count on. I started stripping all those layers
Speaker 2: away and really digging and so searching and finding myself,
Speaker 2: finding who I wanted to.
Speaker 3: Be, Like who am I really? You know.
Speaker 2: That's why I wear all the turquoise because for so long,
Speaker 2: since I was a kid.
Speaker 3: Turquoise was my favorite stone.
Speaker 2: But I was so caught up in what was cool
Speaker 2: and what I thought I was supposed to be that
Speaker 2: I would never wear it. I had all these diamond
Speaker 2: chains and gold and you know, and so when I
Speaker 2: came home, I was like, turquoise wasn't cool at that time,
Speaker 2: you know, And I was like, but it was to me.
Speaker 3: So I started rocking the turquoise. Now it's trendy, but you.
Speaker 1: Know, back then, my first time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, So it was like watching all this happen,
Speaker 2: you know, even leading up to the death of the
Speaker 2: mother of my kids who died from a drug overdose
Speaker 2: a few years ago, watching what my children were going
Speaker 2: through and having to honestly look at that and go.
Speaker 3: Just because of me, This is because of.
Speaker 2: That guy I was trying to be and I justified
Speaker 2: it for so long, you know, and now trying to
Speaker 2: make sure that I can keep those same irrational beliefs
Speaker 2: out of my children's mind. So, you know, those moments
Speaker 2: and those phone calls calling home. I remember as soon
Speaker 2: as I got into County Jail, one of the first
Speaker 2: things that my five year old daughter, Innocence, who just
Speaker 2: went through so much, finding out that her mom had
Speaker 2: passed out and she was at a bus stop crying,
Speaker 2: couldn't you know, one there to pick her up for
Speaker 2: four hours, you know, and thinking about what a six
Speaker 2: year old is going through in their mind when she's
Speaker 2: used to Daddy pulling up and being there, and now
Speaker 2: Daddy's not here, and now nobody's there to pick her up.
Speaker 2: Like those moments were the just the ones that is,
Speaker 2: even though as tragic as they are, and I tell
Speaker 2: my family all the time, it's like, that's why I'm
Speaker 2: not going to give up. That's why I didn't give up.
Speaker 2: Something great has to come from this, or it was
Speaker 2: all in vain. If we can take all the pain
Speaker 2: and all the tragedy and all the bad mistakes and
Speaker 2: do something great with that, learn.
Speaker 3: From it and.
Speaker 2: Inspire others and live a purpose driven life in gratitude,
Speaker 2: and we can do something great with all of this,
Speaker 2: it wasn't in vain.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back with more of the Music Saved
Speaker 1: Me podcast. And by the way, if you like this podcast,
Speaker 1: you were going to love our companion podcast called Taking
Speaker 1: a Walk. It's hosted by my dear friend Buzz Night
Speaker 1: and you can find it wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Music Saved Me Podcast, the podcast
Speaker 1: where we discussed the healing powers of music with some
Speaker 1: of the biggest names in music as well as up
Speaker 1: and comers, and looking inward, the fact that you had
Speaker 1: the wherewithal to look inward. I'm curious, did writing and
Speaker 1: creating music play any type of role in your personal
Speaker 1: transformation on top of all of discovery.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, every bit of it. You know.
Speaker 2: I journaled the whole time I was there. I wrote letters,
Speaker 2: I would write while I was in there. I didn't
Speaker 2: actually form songs because I was like I'm just going
Speaker 2: to write my you know, write about things. And it's
Speaker 2: always been my go to A's always where my therapy was.
Speaker 2: And then getting out from prison and telling that story,
Speaker 2: showing that transformation of course and my actions and who
Speaker 2: I am, but telling that story through my music and
Speaker 2: watching you know, the tens of thousands, one hundred thousands
Speaker 2: of people gravitate towards that find inspiration and hope in
Speaker 2: my music and use my music to help them get
Speaker 2: through whatever they're going through. And then to get to
Speaker 2: meet them at meet and greets at shows and hug
Speaker 2: their neck and you know them cry on our shoulder.
Speaker 2: And that's what's kept me going. That's what's kept me straight,
Speaker 2: that's what keeps me focused, That's what keeps me from
Speaker 2: you know, losing it.
Speaker 3: God allowed me to be strong enough to make it
Speaker 3: through this.
Speaker 2: And now I have a testimony to give and I
Speaker 2: have an opportunity to give that back. And you know,
Speaker 2: when you have that, when you have a purpose, when
Speaker 2: you feel like there's purpose in what you do, right,
Speaker 2: all the other things that come.
Speaker 3: Now. I tell people all the time, I don't look
Speaker 3: at ops. I look at obstacles as opportunities.
Speaker 2: Another notch under my belt story to tell to show
Speaker 2: somebody else that they can get through this too, you know,
Speaker 2: like when I found out that I found out recently
Speaker 2: that how my father had got killed, you know, and
Speaker 2: it had been by a family member, And when I
Speaker 2: was young. He died when I was ten and I
Speaker 2: was outside playing football and my mom comes out there
Speaker 2: and she's like, hey, your dad's on the phone, and
Speaker 2: I was like, tell him, I'll call him back later.
Speaker 3: Well, when I came in that night, she was crying.
Speaker 2: All my family pulled up, told me that my dad
Speaker 2: was no longer with us. I was ten, and they
Speaker 2: told me it was suicide. So where they thought they
Speaker 2: were protecting me by telling me it was suicide, I
Speaker 2: was the last person he called and I didn't take
Speaker 2: the phone call. So I lived with that all through
Speaker 2: my teenage years, feeling that regret of what if I
Speaker 2: would answer the phone, which of course led me to
Speaker 2: be suicidal because then I was like, you know, last
Speaker 2: time my dad died.
Speaker 3: And it wasn't until I was.
Speaker 2: Eighteen and my uncle told me, boy, your dad didn't
Speaker 2: kill himself. He was killed, but I never got a
Speaker 2: clear answer who it was. And then one of my
Speaker 2: family members of my favorite aunts. She was on her
Speaker 2: deathbed and I went to visit her, and one of
Speaker 2: my other uncles let it out the bag that she
Speaker 2: was the one that.
Speaker 3: Had killed him.
Speaker 2: And I had my arm around her when it was
Speaker 2: told to me, and it was one of those moments
Speaker 2: where like, you know, I kind of blanked out, you know,
Speaker 2: and I just kind of looked around, and I looked
Speaker 2: at her, and she didn't budge, you know, she took
Speaker 2: it all the way to the grave with it. But
Speaker 2: she had been such a light in my life, and
Speaker 2: she had took care of me so many times when
Speaker 2: I was in my darkest moment, and I wasn't even
Speaker 2: mad at her.
Speaker 3: It was another level of closure.
Speaker 2: I would have liked to been able to talk to
Speaker 2: her and find out like what happened, you know, like
Speaker 2: if they got an argument or what the reason was.
Speaker 3: But she passed that night and I didn't. I never
Speaker 3: got that. But but even then it was one of
Speaker 3: those things.
Speaker 2: It was like I had to go through that to
Speaker 2: become who I am today and to be able to
Speaker 2: talk to other people that are going through the same
Speaker 2: things or that have been through or been through you know,
Speaker 2: things like that to let them know that they're not
Speaker 2: alone and that they can find strength, and the fact
Speaker 2: that I'm still here and I'm doing good. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm working to do great, but I'm doing good. You know,
Speaker 2: I've got all seven kids in the house, you know,
Speaker 2: my daughter who was molested and you know, cooking macaroni
Speaker 2: and cheese in that apartment, talking to her dad on
Speaker 2: the phone, trying to feed her siblings, and watching her
Speaker 2: mom overdose and pass out, and then eventually losing her
Speaker 2: mother to a drug overdose.
Speaker 3: She just called me this morning because she couldn't. She
Speaker 3: was trying to figure out where to get her parking past.
Speaker 2: At college, she graduated with three point nine SHEPA honors.
Speaker 1: You know, that's such amassing.
Speaker 2: Western She's in Western Kentucky now, you know, for going
Speaker 2: to college, you know, and is doing incredible. My daughter,
Speaker 2: Curtis that who's sixteen, she's you know, she was right there.
Speaker 2: She was the younger sister, and she went through all
Speaker 2: of that just as much, you know, and having to
Speaker 2: be stripped from not only their father leaving, but then
Speaker 2: their mother crashing when he left, and then you know,
Speaker 2: going from a life where I was providing to the
Speaker 2: depths of poverty until they ended up in foster care.
Speaker 2: And then you know, I came home and fought for
Speaker 2: a year to get them out of foster care and
Speaker 2: to get custody of them again, and then you know,
Speaker 2: rebuilding those relationships and those that trust and stability.
Speaker 3: And you know, now she's.
Speaker 2: Sixteen and drives some brand new Lexus at V and
Speaker 2: the homecoming queen straight a student like not even ninety eight,
Speaker 2: like one hundreds and hundred and two s like, you know,
Speaker 2: in an incredible relationship with a great guy who was
Speaker 2: a huge soccer star. I mean, it's just you know, there,
Speaker 2: it is possible to turn it all around. You just
Speaker 2: have to believe. You have to believe in yourself. You
Speaker 2: have to put the work in, and you have to
Speaker 2: find those things. Like for me, music was one of
Speaker 2: the biggest things that I could latch onto and when
Speaker 2: I needed you know, of course I have prayer and
Speaker 2: other things, but when I need to just recenter, I
Speaker 2: can find that song, you know, and strike that emotion.
Speaker 2: And whether it's me driving around you know with it
Speaker 2: on ten, crying my eyes out, or you know, getting
Speaker 2: amped up, or just a happy singing at the top
Speaker 2: of my lungs, whatever or that is, whatever that emotion
Speaker 2: I need or that strength that I need being able to.
Speaker 3: Pull it for music.
Speaker 2: You know, That's why we came out with Sound Sobriety
Speaker 2: and the concept to Sound Sobriety, which is the rehabs
Speaker 2: that were opening.
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be cutting the ribbon on the first
Speaker 3: one soon.
Speaker 2: We had a few hiccups in it, but we're lined
Speaker 2: up to do about twenty of them as soon as
Speaker 2: we get the first model completely locked in and done.
Speaker 2: But I'm also working. We're still working, even though we
Speaker 2: don't have our facility open yet. We're still doing things.
Speaker 2: But the concept behind it was, you know, for me,
Speaker 2: writing was one of my biggest avenues of release and therapy.
Speaker 3: And you know, so.
Speaker 2: I'll be having big songwriters and big artists come in
Speaker 2: to the rehabs and Pete doing the songwriting class where
Speaker 2: we teach each participant that comes through how to put
Speaker 2: their life and their emotions and their feelings into song form.
Speaker 2: And then when they graduate the program, they'll get a
Speaker 2: be my number and be a registered songwriter, and so
Speaker 2: they'll have somebody that they can pitch it. We'll pitch
Speaker 2: songs for them, you know, they'll have somebody that they
Speaker 2: can turn their songs into and pitch them for other
Speaker 2: artists and hopefully give them, you know, hope and of
Speaker 2: a career in that as well, because.
Speaker 3: That's what it's been for me.
Speaker 2: You know, if I didn't have divine connection with music
Speaker 2: or that deep passion to create, and you know, who
Speaker 2: knows if I would have made it through all this stuff.
Speaker 1: I didn't even want to stop this momentum because you're
Speaker 1: just your story is just so incredible. And then every
Speaker 1: time I think I've heard it all, it's just another
Speaker 1: height that you've reached after reaching the lowest lows. It's
Speaker 1: pretty incredible, and it's amazing how much music has been
Speaker 1: a part of it. And obviously this question I'm going
Speaker 1: to ask you, I'm going to guess I know the
Speaker 1: answer to Do you believe that music has healing powers?
Speaker 3: I think it's one of the strongest.
Speaker 2: I mean, we know it scientifically right through, like you know,
Speaker 2: different frequencies and stuff you know that are able to
Speaker 2: heal soundbats, and you know, there's so much scientific research,
Speaker 2: but just as far as the personal, yes, I think
Speaker 2: it's one of the most healing things ever. You know,
Speaker 2: I've had songs that I needed to write, like when
Speaker 2: the mother and my children passed, or when I was
Speaker 2: first coming home and I didn't really have that relationship
Speaker 2: back with my daughters yet that I'd have these songs.
Speaker 2: They take me months to write because every time I'd
Speaker 2: get emotional when I try to write it. But once
Speaker 2: I got that out on the paper and once I
Speaker 2: sang it through that microphone, not only did I get
Speaker 2: a level of healing, but then being able to play
Speaker 2: it for them and then understand and have that to
Speaker 2: hold on to as well.
Speaker 3: It's just a whole nother you know.
Speaker 2: I think music has definitely been what's healed me more
Speaker 2: than anything else.
Speaker 1: Who are so much artists that you listen into when
Speaker 1: you're having sort of a difficult time or maybe that
Speaker 1: you can recall you listen to in times of darkness.
Speaker 2: I mean there's so many, you know, and different levels
Speaker 2: of different years and who was everything from you know
Speaker 2: old country, nineties country, George Street and George John like
Speaker 2: heartbreak songs, or you know Ed Sheeran has had there's
Speaker 2: He's had a couple of songs. There's an artist named
Speaker 2: Ron Pope who he had some songs that got me
Speaker 2: through some really really dark times. Let's go Chris Stapleton,
Speaker 2: you know, I mean there's just so many, you know,
Speaker 2: you can go back to, you know, Whaland songs and
Speaker 2: Tupac songs. You know old rat that was just telling
Speaker 2: those stories. There's there's so many, you know. I couldn't
Speaker 2: pinpoint one artist.
Speaker 1: That would be a whole other show, isn't it. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, speaking of artists, one of your bestie? Can
Speaker 1: I say that about guys best?
Speaker 3: Actually?
Speaker 2: When I just when I just went to the ad MS,
Speaker 2: the ATHM Awards last year and in Texas, uh, you know,
Speaker 2: you get your credentials, and Jelly was up for a
Speaker 2: bunch of awards.
Speaker 3: I wasn't out for any awards or anything, but I.
Speaker 2: Was there as his guest and my credential, said Struggle
Speaker 2: Jennings artist Jelly Rolls bestie.
Speaker 1: Oh good, So I'm not the only one that called
Speaker 1: me that. I love that so much? Can you tell
Speaker 1: me I love him too? How important is that brotherhood
Speaker 1: with someone like Jelly Roll on your on your journey?
Speaker 2: Well, it's been everything, you know, I mean, it's been
Speaker 2: it's been such a major role. He we met I
Speaker 2: was fresh out of a jail sentence, raising two kids
Speaker 2: by myself.
Speaker 3: I think I.
Speaker 2: Hadn't even had my third child yet when I when
Speaker 2: we met and he just got out of jail or
Speaker 2: juvenile because he was still young and he was out
Speaker 2: selling CDs and doing rap battles and I was promoting
Speaker 2: the show and selling my CD and we met and
Speaker 2: just automatically clicked.
Speaker 3: And going on twenty three years of a friendship.
Speaker 2: You know, he slept on my couch and I've watched him,
Speaker 2: you know, grow and become who he's becoming. Not only
Speaker 2: did our friendship because we were in the streets together.
Speaker 2: You know, we we did a lot of things. We
Speaker 2: carried a lot of caskets together, We lost a lot
Speaker 2: of friends. We both did time, you know, during our friendship.
Speaker 2: And having somebody that you just always know is there
Speaker 2: for you, you know, has been such a major part
Speaker 2: of it because there's you know, I think a lot
Speaker 2: of people make a lot more That's why I believe
Speaker 2: in support system so much.
Speaker 3: I believe that a lot of people make a lot worse.
Speaker 2: Decisions when they feel like they're all alone and they
Speaker 2: have nobody, you know, the level of desperation or the
Speaker 2: level of loneliness and.
Speaker 3: Feeling like you have nothing to lose.
Speaker 2: And there's something Jelly's always given me is feeling like
Speaker 2: I had something to lose. You know, when I was
Speaker 2: in prison, he you know, calling him from that jail phone.
Speaker 3: And him being like, oh man, I'm in Missouri. I'm
Speaker 3: in Mississippi.
Speaker 2: You know, he was out doing shows and he was
Speaker 2: sleeping in a van, and you know, he started telling
Speaker 2: me as I was getting close to getting out.
Speaker 3: Like sure, I'm telling you, this is possible. Man.
Speaker 2: You guys made a thousand bucks last night at the show,
Speaker 2: you know, Like why you mean a.
Speaker 3: Thousand dollars in one night without set of drugs, like,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: So there was so much inspiration and hope. And when
Speaker 2: I came home, you know, he still didn't having figured out.
Speaker 2: It was still you know, doing shows and sleeping in
Speaker 2: a van still sometimes and you know he wasn't but
Speaker 2: then he just never gave up. He kept plugging away
Speaker 2: and uh, and it definitely was a big inspiration for
Speaker 2: me to not give up, you know. And then we
Speaker 2: started doing the Weaving and Willie albums together and they
Speaker 2: just took off, and then he signed with Strange Music.
Speaker 2: And then had the song save Me, and.
Speaker 3: It was just like yep, now.
Speaker 2: He's the household name, and I couldn't be more proud
Speaker 2: of him. I love it, and he's he's still this
Speaker 2: day my best friend. You know, we we can sometimes
Speaker 2: talk five times a week, or sometimes we might not
Speaker 2: talk for three or four weeks because of his schedule.
Speaker 1: He's picked left off.
Speaker 2: Well anytime we cost two three hour phone call. You know,
Speaker 2: I can be that sounding board for him and he
Speaker 2: can decompress and know that anything he says that phone
Speaker 2: with me is a thousand percent safe and things that
Speaker 2: you know, a lot of times, men we don't have
Speaker 2: too many people that we can really just vent and
Speaker 2: lay it all on, you know, like our wives, or
Speaker 2: our children, or our mothers or everybody kind of looks
Speaker 2: to us to be that strength in that backbone.
Speaker 3: So in our moments of weakness sometimes it's hard. You know,
Speaker 3: we try.
Speaker 2: To hold that into shield others from feeling you know,
Speaker 2: getting nervous or ANTSI you know, we got to act
Speaker 2: like we've got it all together.
Speaker 3: So me and him have that in each other.
Speaker 2: And you know, I don't call him because I respect
Speaker 2: his time and I know how busy he is, all right.
Speaker 3: I mean, if I had.
Speaker 2: Something, you know, that I really needed to talk to
Speaker 2: him about, it was like an important or something, I
Speaker 2: would call him. I'm not saying I don't ever call him,
Speaker 2: but I just I kind of try to be that
Speaker 2: friend that is just like he knows he can call
Speaker 2: me at any time, and I'm going to shut the
Speaker 2: world down and give him those two or three hours
Speaker 2: that he needs because he's he's really busy right now.
Speaker 2: He's going through a lot a lot of changes, you know,
Speaker 2: from coming from where we came from and going through
Speaker 2: what he's went through to now being the biggest star
Speaker 2: on the face of the planet.
Speaker 3: You know, there's a lot of pressure in that. There's
Speaker 3: a lot of you know, I know he's so busy.
Speaker 2: He's got people pulling them a hundred different ways, right
Speaker 2: So being able to be that support for him and
Speaker 2: just be that guy for.
Speaker 3: Him that's always there for him means the world to me.
Speaker 1: You know, two things, keeping each other grounded and also
Speaker 1: knowing that as much as it's great to ride to
Speaker 1: the success levels, there's also pitfalls that come with it,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure he needs the safety of your friendship
Speaker 1: even though he's.
Speaker 3: Always have it and always have it.
Speaker 2: It really is holding each other accountable to you know,
Speaker 2: like he calls me all my sh it. You know,
Speaker 2: he's like struggle or you're not being accountable or not
Speaker 2: holding yourself accountable right now?
Speaker 3: Why did that happen?
Speaker 1: You know, that's a nice way of putting it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, he likes to give me my own medicine.
Speaker 2: You know, Yes, you know, I got to hear my
Speaker 2: own sermons sometimes from somebody else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like what would you say to yourself? What would
Speaker 1: you tell me? Tell yourself that same thing kind of
Speaker 1: advice it Jelly does that.
Speaker 2: He uses uh, he uses my own sayings against me,
Speaker 2: not against me.
Speaker 3: It's for me, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you need that, you need you know, if
Speaker 2: you're surrounded by yes men or people that just tell
Speaker 2: you what you want to hear, or you know, condone
Speaker 2: your bad behavior rights, We're all going to slip.
Speaker 3: We're all going to make mistakes. That never stops, right.
Speaker 2: It's really just realizing when you make those, taking accountability
Speaker 2: for him and then it because it's really not about
Speaker 2: how many times you falls, about how many times you
Speaker 2: get back up.
Speaker 3: You know, we all have were riddled with human nature.
Speaker 1: Mistakes. I like to say mistakes are tuition, you know,
Speaker 1: if you use them correctly, then they're not mistakes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and sometimes you have to have a piano. A friend
Speaker 1: of mine said this once. It was so sometimes you
Speaker 1: know when like a piano just falls on your head,
Speaker 1: like those are those moments that you need to wake up,
Speaker 1: you know whatever that you know incredibly. I saw a
Speaker 1: video and I believe it just happened this past year,
Speaker 1: and I just want to congratulate you when you were
Speaker 1: invited to the grandel Opry. I'm falling watching the video
Speaker 1: over asking you, well.
Speaker 3: I didn't know what's going to happen.
Speaker 2: He told me I needed to come down there today
Speaker 2: CMS and there was like a little grandell'd opery event
Speaker 2: that he wanted me to come to. And when did
Speaker 2: Billy Bob's with them the night before? And so I'm
Speaker 2: in there and the vent's cool or whatever, but I
Speaker 2: was like, eh, I'm I might have a drink or something,
Speaker 2: you know. So I mows you over to the bar
Speaker 2: and I'm talking to other artists and hanging out, and
Speaker 2: I see him coming across the room and I can
Speaker 2: tell that he's upset.
Speaker 3: But he's like teary ad and he gets up on
Speaker 3: me and I'm paying attention to him.
Speaker 2: So I didn't even realize there was cameras around us, right,
Speaker 2: but they were like camera crew's following him. But I'm
Speaker 2: locked into his eyes because I can see he's like
Speaker 2: choked up. He's like, man, I got to tell you something.
Speaker 2: And my first thing because of our history, and you know,
Speaker 2: I thought somebody had died, you know, like we lost
Speaker 2: one of our best friends, like our little nephew a
Speaker 2: year two years before that, the day me and him
Speaker 2: were doing Red Rocks together, we got the call that
Speaker 2: he had got killed outside of a club in Nashville,
Speaker 2: our nephew, Nate.
Speaker 3: And so it's like we've had so many of those
Speaker 3: kind of moments.
Speaker 2: That I just automatically went into like what's wrong, what's wrong,
Speaker 2: what's wrong? And then he's like they've invited you to
Speaker 2: play the grand old Opery.
Speaker 1: He couldn't even get the words out, he couldn't even
Speaker 1: say it.
Speaker 3: I'd betther look on my face of the video.
Speaker 2: I laugh at it all the time because it was
Speaker 2: like a whirlwind of emotions going from thinking somebody's died
Speaker 2: or something's really wrong to Oh my God, this is
Speaker 2: one of the greatest honors I could ever get, and
Speaker 2: I don't take something else. How God likes to give
Speaker 2: little winks every once in a while and let you
Speaker 2: know you're doing right.
Speaker 3: My Grand Old Opry debut, I didn't get to pick
Speaker 3: the date, you know.
Speaker 2: They said, well, this is the day that you're gonna
Speaker 2: that we want you to come do.
Speaker 3: The Grand Old Opry fell on the same day is
Speaker 3: my last day of parole.
Speaker 2: So I walked out on the stage at the Grand
Speaker 2: Old Opry a free man, and it was like one
Speaker 2: of those wings from God saying this is the end
Speaker 2: of one chapter in.
Speaker 3: The beginning of another.
Speaker 1: You know it sure was.
Speaker 3: You can't make it up, man, can't make it up.
Speaker 3: It's just so beautiful. How if you just stay in
Speaker 3: tune and you stay in line.
Speaker 2: And you listen and you pay attention, do your best
Speaker 2: to be your best and be humble and grateful, so
Speaker 2: much amazing things fall into place, things we could never
Speaker 2: even design.
Speaker 1: You know, Struggle Jennings, thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: on Music Save Me and sharing your story with us. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you, really, I mean, just wonderful, wonderful stuff that
Speaker 1: you're doing, and keep doing what you're doing, and that's
Speaker 1: what we're doing here and highlighting stories like you love
Speaker 1: It are just some of the most amazing things that
Speaker 1: I feel like I've ever been a part of. So
Speaker 1: thanks for coming on to share it and for the liteners.
Speaker 3: Thank you doing what you're doing. Thanks keep touching lives.
Speaker 3: People need to hear it.