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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? Is your girl XP and it's your

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Speaker 1: girl Drey and the call and you are tuned in

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Speaker 1: to another episode of Poor Minds where a drunk mind

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Speaker 1: speaks sober thoughts and we gotta guess today. We gotta

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Speaker 1: guest today.

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Speaker 2: I am so excited. So we have author ceoh, our

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Speaker 2: entrepreneur Mia Jay here with us.

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Speaker 1: Yay, thank you so much, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: Now, if you're living on the rock, y'all know this

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Speaker 2: is young Doll's partner. Y'all are together, you know, so

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Speaker 2: give us a little you know, introduction to you know, who.

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Speaker 1: You are and everything that you got going on. So

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Speaker 1: pretty much some but no, so I am Mia Jay.

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Speaker 1: I am you know it all so made. I am,

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Speaker 1: you know, the mother of his children. And you know

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Speaker 1: I am the one who is just trying to make

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Speaker 1: a difference in honor and his honor through my platform.

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Speaker 1: Black men deserve to grow old. And also you know

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Speaker 1: I have another business or a few of them, but no,

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Speaker 1: I have also the mom and CEO and that's a

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Speaker 1: business that just I want to advocate for families, like

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Speaker 1: for women to be mothers out here. You know that's

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Speaker 1: super important to me. So the family dynamic is super important.

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Speaker 1: And I started a nonprofit called fresh Stark Kids. Not

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Speaker 1: all at the same time. Yeah, and so I have

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Speaker 1: a nonprofit, Fresh Start Kids, that just aim to educate

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Speaker 1: parents and caregivers on how to properly take care of

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Speaker 1: our children when they first come into this world from

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Speaker 1: a from the new treads that they consume to like

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Speaker 1: just the things, the environment and things like that, like

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Speaker 1: a holistic point of view just raising a child, right.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's crazy because we actually talked about that

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Speaker 2: on the show before, because I feel like growing up,

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Speaker 2: I always had a super unhealthy relationship with food. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I felt like I had to finish my food or

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Speaker 2: I would get in trouble. And it was like it

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Speaker 2: was just teaching me unhealthy eating. I was like, we

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Speaker 2: gotta learn, like if you full, you can stop eating.

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Speaker 2: It's okay.

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Speaker 1: Did you feel like that a Ja Mama say, if

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Speaker 1: you don't eat that damn food.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that was my mom's going away.

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Speaker 1: And see my mom wasn't really like that. But I

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Speaker 1: just feel like I used to eat a lot of

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Speaker 1: things out of convenience that now I wouldn't eat necessarily,

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Speaker 1: like and you know, nothing is wrong with it if

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Speaker 1: that's all that you can get. But like, I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna eat McDonald's and stuff, and I'm gonna try not

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Speaker 1: to feed that to my children and stuff too. But

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Speaker 1: I feel like growing up, you were eating a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff out of convenience just because your parents had

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Speaker 1: busy schedules and they couldn't make meals for you all

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Speaker 1: the time. That's true too. We came up in the air.

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Speaker 1: I don't think parents was as conscious as what they

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Speaker 1: are what people are becoming. It right not to say

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Speaker 1: like they had other things that I think that we

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Speaker 1: lack here. It's like a trade office and it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, they definitely I had had, like my parents

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Speaker 1: cooked at home. But if I was like I want

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Speaker 1: Rillyes Wendy's, they don't. I'm just like I'm not doing that,

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Speaker 1: Like and really my kids could probably get only like

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Speaker 1: Chick fil a and Chipotle. Yeah you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: because that's literally the only fans school we eat and

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Speaker 1: we talk about it all look like, Okay, so what

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Speaker 1: does a normal day look like? Like?

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Speaker 2: What do you feed your kids like breakfast, lunch, dinner,

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Speaker 2: Like what does that look like?

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Speaker 1: So for breakfast, I like make them breakfast every morning.

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Speaker 1: And one of my biggest fears. I used to go

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Speaker 1: to school, and not that my parents did a bad job,

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Speaker 1: but I went to school hungry because it'll be like

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Speaker 1: eat cereals. I don't want no serious right, Like I

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Speaker 1: just didn't know what to eat. So I think that

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Speaker 1: most kids, you're not about to know what to eat.

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Speaker 1: You burnt out on oatmeal, you know, like and it

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Speaker 1: just was a real struggle bus right. So I would

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Speaker 1: go to school hungry, and I can remember just sitting

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Speaker 1: in class, like, you know, you got that morning breath,

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Speaker 1: having it for so long, and by lunchtime, I'm just

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Speaker 1: starting I don't want to eat now lunch, So I

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Speaker 1: will call my dad, like bring me some some some

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Speaker 1: you know, fast food. But I'm saying all that to

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Speaker 1: say when I think about those moments, I'll be like, well,

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Speaker 1: my kids, I'm gonna have to wake up. What y'all?

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Speaker 1: I asked them, what would you like? So if they

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Speaker 1: were like, I don't know, then I'm like, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna make out some pancakes. I'm gonna make some toast.

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Speaker 1: You want to bagel this morning? Like I'm literally and

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Speaker 1: give them I give options, but I'm always gonna pair.

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Speaker 1: If it's pancakes, it's gonna be a fruit with it,

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Speaker 1: Like it's gonna be something bready. You know, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be a fruit if I if I really cut up

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Speaker 1: in the morning, and I might do a little you know,

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Speaker 1: a turkey bacon little sandwich. So I do, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: toast turkey bacon and they love that, but always with

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Speaker 1: some fruit because I just always want to, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: help them to break all that stuff down, Like they

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Speaker 1: gonna need a fruit, they gonna need some type of

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Speaker 1: veggie or something. Break all of them carbs and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. You gotta make sure it's balance. It's balance, Listen.

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Speaker 1: I live for balance. Yeah, I feel like.

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Speaker 2: Growing up, you know, you see that on the movies.

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Speaker 2: You know, people have breakfast cook for them in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Because when I was waking up, like my mom was

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Speaker 2: gone at work. She was a single mom, so we

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Speaker 2: just had to get up. We would pop a tosa,

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Speaker 2: stroll in the oven, you know, whatever was in the freezer,

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Speaker 2: and we would have to go. But I do think

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Speaker 2: that's important that you're teaching them at a young age because,

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Speaker 2: like I said, I still struggle with my eating habits

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Speaker 2: from stuff when I was a child. So that's a

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Speaker 2: very important that's a good program to have for kids.

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Speaker 1: And you know, because I ain't know nothing about it.

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Speaker 1: You were saying, portion control is a big thing that

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Speaker 1: a lot of people don't realize. It makes a huge difference.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to eat everything that's on your plate.

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Speaker 1: I feel like so many people overeat all the time. Listen.

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Speaker 1: I know when I first my journey to first losing

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Speaker 1: like a lot of weights, I would go to the

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Speaker 1: restaurant and asked for to go play like as soon

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Speaker 1: as my and literally like go ahead and like I'm

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Speaker 1: going to because and then somebody was like, put salt

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Speaker 1: on it, you won't eat it. I'm like, I ain't

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Speaker 1: doing that anyway. We can go ahead and put that

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Speaker 1: to the side, right, But yes, portion control, that is

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Speaker 1: a major thing.

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Speaker 2: So how much way have you lost? Like when you

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Speaker 2: said you lost some weight, but.

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Speaker 1: This was years ago, okay, years ago, But I've always

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Speaker 1: kind of been like I'm like a tenor like ten

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Speaker 1: fifteen pounds the max, you know, but like ten or

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Speaker 1: ten or less pounds, Like yeah, that I recently lost

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Speaker 1: thirty pounds. Now, look now, look in the past, what

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Speaker 1: like three months. Yeah, it was from May. Now I

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Speaker 1: did I get I got a little.

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Speaker 2: Surgery and I got my booz are due, So it's

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Speaker 2: my boots were really big and I just got a

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Speaker 2: breast reduction.

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Speaker 1: But I knew that.

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Speaker 2: I had to change my eating habits because I think

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Speaker 2: people think the surgeries end all be all, But you

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Speaker 2: have to change the way you eat. Because Drea knows

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Speaker 2: she don't finish her food. So we were about to

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Speaker 2: eat my food.

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Speaker 1: I always I would be picking off a hard play.

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Speaker 2: I was just that person, like I would just eat everything.

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Speaker 2: But now it's like I've just learned portion control when

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Speaker 2: I stopped eating when I'm full. But I think those

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Speaker 2: are habits that we can teach our children, Like if

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Speaker 2: your kid is eating, I feel like as long as

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Speaker 2: they you know, emphasizing them eating their vegetables and their

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Speaker 2: fruit like you said, but if they're full, let them

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Speaker 2: be full.

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Speaker 1: Let them be full and go outside and work off

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Speaker 1: their food and work off that energy. It's okay. Like

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Speaker 1: and also, you know, when we learned to eat more

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Speaker 1: in a day, and that helps keep your metabolism up,

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Speaker 1: like you're supposed to have six small meals a day

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Speaker 1: for us, it was like I was going, damn there

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Speaker 1: the whole day without eating sometimes you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And then by the time you do eat, you eat

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Speaker 1: something that's so unhealthy, something something your body not even

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Speaker 1: really processing and breaking down to.

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Speaker 2: Stick to you because you don't know your body doesn't

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Speaker 2: know when you're gonna eat again.

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Speaker 1: And on top of that, you know what I learned

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Speaker 1: through doing fresh our kids and what even inspired me

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Speaker 1: to do it. A lot of these foods that we

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Speaker 1: eating have so many chemicals that like, our body is amazing.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to God, like literally he did his dang

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Speaker 1: one thing when yeah, but when he put us together

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Speaker 1: for real, Like it's like fruits, veggies, nuts, everything that

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Speaker 1: he created, Like our body can process it right out right.

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Speaker 1: Those things is man made. Like if you read the

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Speaker 1: back of a label and it's say hydro clock, you can't.

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Speaker 1: You can't do that, and your body does it like

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Speaker 1: when it goes into your body, you're by no means.

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Speaker 1: Let me put this disclaimer. I'm not a medical doctor, right,

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Speaker 1: it's just like because little girl not gonna be like

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Speaker 1: it's like literally this is like like physiology biology one

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Speaker 1: on one that we should just all know and understand, right,

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Speaker 1: just to better take care of our body. It's our

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Speaker 1: simple right. And so it's like if you can't read it,

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Speaker 1: you know, you can't understand it when it goes into

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Speaker 1: your body, your body doing the same thing, like this

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Speaker 1: is some foreign material. It breaks it down and it

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Speaker 1: stores it. It's fat and it never right. So when

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Speaker 1: you like grocery shopping stuff, are you only buying like

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Speaker 1: organic products? Do you like make your own juices and

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Speaker 1: stuff at home and stuff you to do that? Like

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna fill off, like I fell off a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but I think I've created a routine like it happened,

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Speaker 1: like I know what to buy like I for a

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Speaker 1: long time I did read the back of my label.

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Speaker 1: It off like a off. Like twenty twenty, the pandemic

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Speaker 1: actually helped him because he had never really he wouldn't

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Speaker 1: go in no grocery store. I just got off the throat.

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Speaker 1: Why he's sending me, right, But in twenty twenty we

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Speaker 1: started going and it was like fun to him, like

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Speaker 1: how pictures like we were literally like it's like so

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Speaker 1: he was on his healthy stuff. He was He's always

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Speaker 1: appreciated me being a health conscious person, so he was

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Speaker 1: always on board, but he never like he never physically

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Speaker 1: did it, like went inside and was a part of

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Speaker 1: the process. So seeing how I pick out groceries, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we're not gonna pick up that bread, We're gonna get

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Speaker 1: this bread, because he asked questions on why you get

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Speaker 1: this one instead, and I would tell him right. So

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Speaker 1: it was like it would be like a field trip

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Speaker 1: and come out six later on a whole bunch of

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Speaker 1: stuff that like just like or whatever, Like he would

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Speaker 1: just go nuts, Like let's like he would just go extra,

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Speaker 1: just be extra in the grocery store, excited about this.

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Speaker 1: But I think that's the thing though, when you start

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Speaker 1: eating healthy, you actually really feel it too. I feel

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Speaker 1: myself like I have so much more energy now, Like

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Speaker 1: I can just move better, and like I have more

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Speaker 1: energy in the morning. Like I think that is so

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Speaker 1: important that people don't realize. And I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of people too, think that it has to be an

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Speaker 1: expensive thing. But I feel like you can still eat

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Speaker 1: healthy and be budgie conchies. Of course, I ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: even lie to y'all if y'all sleeping on Audie. It's

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Speaker 1: like I never go there. So it's like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's the same people who own Trader Joe.

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Speaker 1: That's reversed. And foremost it was like and I love

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Speaker 1: me some Trader Joe's for like young people and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. It already being a lot of places a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. It's not always, but it's a like

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Speaker 1: a lot of food deserted areas, places where people can't

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Speaker 1: get access to fresh food, food desert right, and so

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Speaker 1: they're there, but it's like you don't want to look

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Speaker 1: at it, you know what I'm saying, thinking like it's

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Speaker 1: like saving more or something like that. It's not that

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Speaker 1: like it's like a baby Trader Joe. It's it's a

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Speaker 1: version of Trader Joe. And it's like they you can

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Speaker 1: come up out of there with a whole gang of groceries,

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Speaker 1: you know, good stuff. It's kind of like Trader Jo's

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Speaker 1: scares people away.

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Speaker 2: From eating healthy because they feel like, okay, badfast and

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Speaker 2: it's expensive.

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Speaker 1: You know. So we got especially as black people.

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Speaker 2: We talked about this on the past episode, like we

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Speaker 2: do not pay attention to our health and us And.

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Speaker 1: I also think even if like your concern is like

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Speaker 1: stuff going bad, that there's a lot of tips and

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Speaker 1: tricks where you could preserve vegetables. And I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: real with y'all, that's what we do an excuse what

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Speaker 1: it is. People don't want to make time. They don't

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Speaker 1: really want to make time because it is more. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like everybody's were in a microwave society. It's like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to take the time to prep you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I don't want to take the

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Speaker 1: time to I see this bug, and I'd be like

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Speaker 1: every time, like a dude or somebody be like they

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Speaker 1: acting funny about a banana or a bug on something.

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Speaker 1: You don't put worse things in your mind. You worried

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Speaker 1: about a little bit a little ground spottle. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: then I'm let's go everybody, we don't worry about it.

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Speaker 1: Don't eat the danana, eat that, Okay. So I do

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Speaker 1: want to discuss your Black Men Deserves to Grow old

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Speaker 1: brand because I remember the first time I saw it

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Speaker 1: was crazy because it was actually on my birthday, my

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Speaker 1: birthday August seventeen. Then you had posted it on my birthday.

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Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, this is actually like.

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Speaker 2: Something really good to talk about because I feel like

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Speaker 2: just with just everything that goes on with black people period,

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Speaker 2: when it like while I was talking about even with health,

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Speaker 2: like black men deserve to grow old. So tell us

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Speaker 2: a little bit about that brand and the movement of that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so black men deserve to grow old. I started

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Speaker 1: that because you know, a lot of people don't realize

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Speaker 1: that that has learned about me or like the brand

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Speaker 1: and whatever until recent right, but I started that. I

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Speaker 1: lost my brother. My brother was three years older than me. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So like to visualize or conceptualize what that looks like

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Speaker 1: if you look at aria and try my children, like

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Speaker 1: the connections that they have, like that was me and

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Speaker 1: my brother, you know, like like you know, just they're

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Speaker 1: like you know, so you know, I lost my brother

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Speaker 1: in Memphis to gun violence. My brother he was like

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Speaker 1: he was like first of all, he owned a car dealership,

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Speaker 1: right he was he always was like like that what

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Speaker 1: you call it? Like you knew he was gonna be

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Speaker 1: a preacher, but he didn't, like he just trying to

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Speaker 1: run from it. She always got a good word, but

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Speaker 1: some people just always got something good to say. My

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Speaker 1: brother he was like that. But I'm gonna tell you

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Speaker 1: the other part of it is like I think he

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Speaker 1: wanted to run from it because it was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not ready to be held accountable at that level. Start

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Speaker 1: when you start saying how much and confessing how much

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Speaker 1: you love about God and that being your thing, people

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Speaker 1: like why you do that? You smoke weed? Don't you

295
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Speaker 1: be looking at them women. It had the demons that

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Speaker 1: he was still trying to overcome, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: and not bad like it was just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just don't want people to put me on a pedestal,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not ready yet, right, But he was still

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Speaker 1: like a really good servant of God, like he really

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Speaker 1: like I'm working towards my goal is to have Christ Jehovah.

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Speaker 1: That's what he's right. But he was a really good dude.

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Speaker 1: He ended up being killed by one of his customers.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, a three thousand dollars card that had like

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Speaker 1: two hundred and some some some thousand miles on there,

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Speaker 1: right and over like they like, oh, I got to

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Speaker 1: put more money into the car. And so my brother

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Speaker 1: they had worked out a deal like a day prior,

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Speaker 1: like hey, you know, my brother was like, I'll put

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Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars towards your repairs. You know, we can

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Speaker 1: get my mechanic on the next week, you know, And

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Speaker 1: like he came in super I rate. My brother had

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Speaker 1: a family of fortier that day and his car dealership,

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Speaker 1: his business partners were there, and he defused the situation.

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Speaker 1: And literally the day before he got shot, I talked

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Speaker 1: to him and I was just like he told me

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Speaker 1: about it. He was just so worked up, Like my

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Speaker 1: kids saw that. They was worried, my wife was, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, you feel like it's something that you

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Speaker 1: should be like concerned about, right, And he was like, no, man.

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Speaker 1: We shook hands and he said he understood. I told him, like, man,

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Speaker 1: we're me and we're not about to be doing that

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Speaker 1: out here. Like I I got it. I'm an honest

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Speaker 1: business man. Like you know, there was a man that

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Speaker 1: got a black man, black man, black young man, and

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Speaker 1: he ended up apologizing shaking my brother's hand, and they

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Speaker 1: had this deal that he was going to get it

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Speaker 1: worked on. Literally came back the next day. It was

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Speaker 1: nobody there. I had and my niece was there, not

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Speaker 1: his daughter, but one of my other brother's daughters. My

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Speaker 1: niece was there, her friend was there, and my brother

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Speaker 1: was there and literally the man came in to try

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Speaker 1: to rob my brother and somehow, I mean, we haven't

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Speaker 1: even gone to to to you know, like to hear

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Speaker 1: the facts about exactly what happened, like what went wrong

336
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,200
Speaker 1: or whatever. We haven't had to trial yet, but you know,

337
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 1: he ended up based on what my niece was saying.

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Speaker 1: What she said at the time, and she was still here,

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00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 1: she was like, you know, he was walking towards like

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Speaker 1: he started getting loud and he shot my brother. And

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Speaker 1: my brother you know, he was fighting for his life

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Speaker 1: for a few days, for about four days, and he

343
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,239
Speaker 1: died on the fourth day. And that right there was like,

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00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 1: you know, such a a messed up like I just

345
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 1: couldn't believe it. Like it was like wait what, like

346
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,920
Speaker 1: I lost my brother, Like this is crazy as hell,

347
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,679
Speaker 1: Like and I just knew when he got shot that

348
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Speaker 1: he was going to pull through. I just it was

349
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Speaker 1: like I knew he was going to pull through, and

350
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Speaker 1: he when he didn't, that right there, it fucked me up. Right,

351
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 1: that was my That was the precursor to my grief journey, right,

352
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying to as it evolved, right,

353
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 1: and that really, like I just had to go to counseling.

354
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:47,520
Speaker 1: I had like a spiritual coach, you know. I thrust

355
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 1: in myself into like trying to understand like so many

356
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 1: things that my brother, like what he inspired in me,

357
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 1: and think like just reflecting over him and our journey together,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And that that's when I

359
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna do mommy yo, Like me and

360
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 1: Jeremy talked about this. You know, he inspired that, and

361
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 1: I want to be able to help his his family

362
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, like you know, just something that

363
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 1: he inspired of me that I can be able to

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00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,400
Speaker 1: birth to life right. And I was like in Black

365
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Speaker 1: Men Deserve, I ended up saying like the following year,

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Speaker 1: like you know, after his one year anniversary, I was

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00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,080
Speaker 1: like I want to I'm gonna end up like pushing

368
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 1: like like doing a campaign, not a business or anything

369
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,879
Speaker 1: like that. This was in my brother was shot in

370
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Speaker 1: twenty twenty. Okay, so in twenty twenty, that's when I

371
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,159
Speaker 1: started the mom and see Yo mamy yo because it

372
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 1: was like something that me and him had talked about.

373
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Speaker 1: Like I don't even understand why I recorded a conversation

374
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Speaker 1: of us in twenty nineteen and I was just like

375
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 1: you saying some good stuff. Let me record this and

376
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,439
Speaker 1: recorded this man, And like when I tell you, I

377
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 1: was just like digging in my archives, like for videos,

378
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 1: you know, pictures and everything, you know, Unlike my brother,

379
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,320
Speaker 1: Unlike Adolf, My brother, like he wasn't a celebrity. So

380
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 1: it's like, you know what, Adolf, you can be walking

381
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 1: down the street and hear his music. You know what

382
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying. You can see his face, you can see anything.

383
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: You know. It's like his videos, his interviews and all

384
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:14,400
Speaker 1: of that, always saying some real ship for my brother

385
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 1: that wasn't him. So I'm like telling my family, like

386
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 1: dig everything you have so we can have that for

387
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 1: the kids and so we can be able to cherish

388
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 1: these memories. Right. So when I came across it, I

389
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,400
Speaker 1: ended up starting MAMO and hit a brick walk because

390
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: I was so hurt, like why would somebody take like

391
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 1: why would it? Why would you do that? Like something

392
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,920
Speaker 1: so that he was trying to really help you listen

393
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,879
Speaker 1: and work out with you because I ain't never been

394
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 1: to a dealership and they was telling me what they

395
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: gonna help me out. Listen. Why is violence always the

396
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: end results? You know what? I'm saying, like I don't

397
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,200
Speaker 1: get it, Like why, like what is wrong with you? Like, bro,

398
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: it's you could have if you if it really came

399
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 1: down to me, like, bro, I'm gonna kill you or

400
00:19:53,440 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 1: you give me three thousand dollars exactly, don't even about it.

401
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 1: But for you to take somebody's life or attempt to

402
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 1: take somebody's life, however, that like, it's just like it's

403
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:12,199
Speaker 1: nasty and it's unfortunate that it that it seems like

404
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 1: that is what a lot of people always resort to

405
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,679
Speaker 1: verse first, and it's a lot of the time over money,

406
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: you over material means or and even still just be

407
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,679
Speaker 1: like I mean with that being the root of it,

408
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 1: it's all type of it could be a woman, it

409
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,719
Speaker 1: could be whatever it is. It really be a split

410
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: second emotion or decision. That's about the cost family, these

411
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 1: family members a lifetime of pain and hurt and whatever.

412
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: And yourself. You know what I'm saying, because you would

413
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: have lost your life. You losing your life and even

414
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 1: if you don't get caught, like it's like you can't

415
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: tell me that the misery and the agony of taking

416
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 1: somebody life, Yeah, are you just like that has to

417
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 1: affect you. It has to live with you every day

418
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 1: that I did. Right, that's the problem. And I and

419
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 1: for I don't know, like you know what I'm saying,

420
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 1: how these people who take the life others like for me,

421
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 1: how do you sleep at night? How do you sleep

422
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: at night? Like it would eat me up? You know,

423
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 1: But it's like if it doesn't, it's like I see

424
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: that you're a person that have more trauma, and it's

425
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 1: something underneath the surface for you, like something happened to

426
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: you to even get you to that part. You know.

427
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,959
Speaker 1: Well you saying that because I did read something that

428
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 1: you had said in the article, and you were basically saying,

429
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 1: like we have to give back to the black families,

430
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,400
Speaker 1: and you were saying, like trauma starts with a black family.

431
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the importance of that. But I do agree

432
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 2: with that. I feel like a lot of these black men,

433
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,239
Speaker 2: and I know we joke about this a lot and

434
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,959
Speaker 2: talk about they don't have safe spaces, but these people

435
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 2: we were talking.

436
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: About this this morning, these men have trauma. Well that's

437
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: another thing that she said in the article too, about

438
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: like how important mental health is. I think so many

439
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: people and I don't know why, as like a black community.

440
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 1: We've been so afraid for such a long time to

441
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 1: like go to therapy, Like it's okay to seek health,

442
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: it's okay to seek constantly. And I think that for

443
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: whatever reason, people feel like me saying that I have

444
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: a problem or I'm struggling with something is a weakness

445
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 1: and it's not. I think I think people facing reality.

446
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: I think it's so much easier for a lot of

447
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: people to live in this fictitious world. I think that's

448
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: why social media it works wonders, right, because it's like, meanwhile,

449
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: my reality is this, but I can create a whole

450
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: new me new reality for myself easier, right, And I

451
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 1: think it's just easier for people not to deal with

452
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 1: their problems, like, for instance, let's give an example, like finances, right,

453
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: do you know how hard it is for people to

454
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 1: face they real for real financial picture, Like it it'd

455
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: be like, you know, you're talking to somebody that you

456
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 1: want to invest with whatever, They're like, send me all

457
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: of your.

458
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 3: Baking statements and it's like, well.

459
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: You know, like that you don't want to do that

460
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: for the I mean, we just started our business and

461
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 1: get I had to do that for the first time.

462
00:22:55,280 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 4: I mean when we asked, was like, because.

463
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,439
Speaker 1: You feel like you just yeah, like somebody gonna sit

464
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 1: there and be like, so you're telling me you got

465
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: on that rolex and you all got you feel like

466
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: somebody about to call you out knowing you know, like,

467
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: don't judge me. I just wanted to you know whatever.

468
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: I think people just don't like the shame that really

469
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 1: truly exist. And I think that it's like you feel

470
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 1: like you're gonna go in front of somebody and they're

471
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: gonna judge you. You may have had a bad experience,

472
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: maybe you've heard about something from you know what it

473
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: is for real, But I know that we're a group

474
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: of people black like black people, men and women that

475
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: have been traumatized for yeah everything, you know what I'm

476
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: saying when you want to take that thing back to

477
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: like slavery, it's a lot of generational trauma that has

478
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: just been passed down and where people you know what

479
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like the whole you get back to like

480
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 1: the thing of your mom saying you better eat that food,

481
00:23:54,600 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: like bro like you being like y'all, I literally had

482
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: a who she wouldn't like let us drink like we

483
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: couldn't get no juice unless we ate all our food.

484
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 1: That's wild. Yeah, but I mean that's how we were raised.

485
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: It's a lot like in our community. And if you

486
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: try to say something like untie, it's a little hard.

487
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 1: That's why I need, you know. I think you know

488
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 1: that's that That's what I was meaning in that that

489
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: that era of people, you know, that generation of people,

490
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 1: It's like they weren't as conscious in their parenting and

491
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: the effects. And I think it was they were just

492
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 1: in the routine. They didn't they didn't question. I think

493
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: we are the people of the wait a minute, like

494
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: why or you know what I'm saying trying to bring

495
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: not so much about the system, but like we seeking

496
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: more of an understanding, you know what.

497
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: I'm We're talking to our children, understanding how they feel,

498
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 2: you know.

499
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: Trying to you know, at least we attempting, you know,

500
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 1: and just in parenting. Do you have your kids not

501
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: yet yet? Okay? But I just think it's more information.

502
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: I feel like with the older generations, you can't really

503
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 1: teach your children. She that you don't know exactly, you know,

504
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 1: And I feel like but with this generation of parents,

505
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: like you just have more information and that's really what

506
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: it boils down to, because I feel like we grew

507
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: up thinking our parents, our grandparents had shit all together.

508
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: But now us being the adults, we realized like they

509
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: didn't got together like I thought they had it together

510
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: by this age. I thought they had the sht together

511
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: bout thirty one, Like no, you still trying to figure

512
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: shit out, Like it's no, it's no blueprint, it's no books,

513
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: like we gotta figure that shit out as you go.

514
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: You gotta figure it out. And I just think that,

515
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: you know, in terms of where I stand, like starting

516
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: bmdtg O, like after my brother and just trying to

517
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 1: figure out. At this point, it was like I was

518
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 1: what thirty my brother passed. Let me see, I was

519
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 1: thirty one when my brother past It's like what does

520
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: life mean? You know what I'm saying, how like shit,

521
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: you get old, you start losing people, myself that old,

522
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 1: but you know, I guess it's like you got to

523
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: accept that you start to lose, Yeah, then how do

524
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: you process that? You know what I'm saying, like how

525
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: do you honor people that you love and that you lose?

526
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: And that started to be my running thing, like how

527
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: do I continue to heal? But how do I honor

528
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: this person? And you know, for my brother, I ended

529
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: up was like I want to start Black Men Deserved

530
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 1: to Grow Home as a campaign to help his family.

531
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 1: Cause I'm like, even though he had things lined out

532
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: from my sister in law, like they have four children together,

533
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like, they had four children.

534
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 1: The youngest at that time was like six or something

535
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: like that. You know, so it was like even still,

536
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: you know, like when you don't think you about to die,

537
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: you ain't preparing that much. You know, even like having

538
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: a little life insurance's cool, whatever, but it's like, you

539
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: got four kids, three still in school. You're trying to

540
00:26:56,480 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 1: put them in in private school. You trying to pay

541
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 1: for mortgages. You got a business, the business on top

542
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 1: of that business, that's a lot. They just pulled her

543
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: out of She was a teacher at the time, you know,

544
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: before he passed or whatever. He was like, you know,

545
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:11,959
Speaker 1: I want you to be home. I want you to

546
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: like be about to build this business because I finally

547
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 1: got it to a point to where I need you

548
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: to do this part. So he pulled her out, you like,

549
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: because I want our kids to have more full access

550
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: to him. They need one of us to be a

551
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: little bit more accessible, right, And so he did all

552
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: of that. So my heart at that particular time, it

553
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: was like it went out to her. It's like, I

554
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: need to be able to just be some sort of

555
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: supportable roles, you know, for you. I'm gonna start this

556
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 1: campaign raise awareness, you know, and maybe you know, like

557
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: once a year, I'm gonna do this campaign. Right, selected

558
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: a few more people to participate in it, like people

559
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: that I knew that had lost their loved ones, their

560
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 1: the fathers, the brothers, whatever, and it was two more families.

561
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: So I did that, and I was like, look, I'm

562
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: trying to you know, like reach out to people and

563
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: like try to raise awareness around black on black crimes. Right,

564
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: you know, Black Lives Matter exists to be able to

565
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: talk about others killing us.

566
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 2: But I'm like, come on, what about us killing each other?

567
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 2: Because I feel like that's something that we have to

568
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 2: talk about with the the.

569
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,880
Speaker 1: And I think that we got to talk about. It's

570
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: so many it's so many woke folk that like it'd

571
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: be cool and stuff like that to hear perspective from them.

572
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: But at the same time, everything is in a debate y'all. Yeah,

573
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: it's like you instead of you being able to say,

574
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: like you know, yes, this is a problem, like black

575
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: people do kill black people at alarming rates. It's always

576
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: this rebuttal like let me but we killing each other.

577
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: But it's like, okay, let's get to the be like

578
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: you know, it's but that is a devices like to say,

579
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: black on black crime. That is a devices tool that

580
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: they use that white people created. It's like you want

581
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: to know, but it is you're you're you're like arguing

582
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: a mood point that's not even okay, I feel you

583
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 1: even that's I'm gonna give it to you. That's right,

584
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: that's true. What we still how we saw that change?

585
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: What can we do to stop that?

586
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 2: Because we actually had a conversation right before we went

587
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: on stage. It was just kind of like I was

588
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 2: like I cannot believe this is still going on, like

589
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 2: because P and B Rocket got killed and we started

590
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: bringing up like you know, like pop smoke, and it's

591
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: like m h.

592
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: And you think about the stuff that was going on.

593
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: They were being robbed.

594
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 2: If you want to rob somebody, that's the lowest of

595
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 2: the lower but just why you gotta.

596
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: Take their lives? Yeah, I mean, Rick Ross had made

597
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: a post like when p and b Rock died, and

598
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: he basically was just like the the thing about getting

599
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: up grinding every day, hustling every day is to go

600
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: get your own so you could have your own shit

601
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: and make your own money. It's insane that people are

602
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: out here killing people for they shit, like the stuff

603
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: that they worked hard for. Right when you have the

604
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 1: same twenty four, you can get up and try to

605
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: go get it, and even if you can't, you don't

606
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 1: have to take somebody else life Like that whole situation.

607
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you. That triggered me so bad.

608
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: It triggered me so bad that I was just like

609
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that I would be that trigger,

610
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 1: you know, to be honest with you, just because it's

611
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: just like it's just like it's disgusting. It's the very

612
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: thing like my brother tried. They tried to rob my brother, right,

613
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: they tried to rob P and B. Like I lost

614
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: ad off, you know what I'm saying. Like it's like

615
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: it's constantly like I be like we be dogging each other, Oh,

616
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: like dudes be dogging each other out. It's like no

617
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: regard you know what I'm saying, like absolutely no regard

618
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: for one another, and that shit boils my blood, you

619
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And then on top of that,

620
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: the other thing on top of that is like, don't

621
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: get me wrong, like if people feel like they want

622
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: to have an opinion on how this happened, really all

623
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: of the facts, you know what I'm saying, Like you

624
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: when things that bad, you know, we don't the facts

625
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: you know in the media are not the facts till

626
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: like it needs some time come out and people don't

627
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: understand that. It's just like and I get it. It's

628
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 1: like you really just don't know, Like you're on the

629
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: other side where everything you see is true, okay, whatever,

630
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: But it's like even if that that is a fact, right,

631
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: or that that why would you want to like guilt

632
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: trip anybody? Like who are you to make somebody feel

633
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: guilty or or carry you on such a huge responsibility

634
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: and being a person who understand what loss at that

635
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 1: level feels like, you know what I'm saying, Like and

636
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: just even like you gotta understand, like people on the

637
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: outside can look at like, oh, you know, it was

638
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 1: just a situation where she was being reckless, but you know,

639
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: if that's something that's a part of your normal activity.

640
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm it's just a level of at the end of

641
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: the day, somebody is grieving. At the end of the day,

642
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: these children have to grieve, and one day they got

643
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: to see that. And this is something like if they

644
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: feel like my mother is hell responsible, like the thing

645
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: is and it's just insensitive. It's messed up. Who are

646
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: you to want to put that on somebody, Like you

647
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: don't have to remind nobody of nothing, like you know

648
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And first of all, you don't even

649
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: have the facts, Like I think it's so messed up,

650
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: so to do that the story around you know, like

651
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: I'm a person, you know, I always pay attention to

652
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: what's going on. I Mean, there's so much gun and

653
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: that's what I want to talk about now, Like the

654
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: gun violence and the hip hopmunity is absolutely insane.

655
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 2: The list goes on. I mean, it's been King Vaughn, Nipsy,

656
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: I mean, the list is so long of important peing it.

657
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: For a long time, because then you could talk about

658
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: Tupac king Bigie like it's.

659
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 2: Been jam Master, Like it goes back to a long

660
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 2: time of you know, important people in the community being

661
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 2: lost and I feel like it goes. But I do

662
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 2: want to talk about this a little bit. Do you

663
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 2: feel like it's because what it's kind of celebrated in music,

664
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 2: because you know, sometimes people do look at it like that,

665
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 2: like it's cool to be a shooter, you know, I

666
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 2: got my op, like it's celebrated in the music.

667
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think it's celebrated though. I just think

668
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 1: that people be talking a lot of people just be

669
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: talking about their real life experience. Right. I'm gonna be honest.

670
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm a like slick, spiritual person and I believe,

671
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: you know, like in terms of like the Bible reading

672
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: and what it says, I do believe is not void.

673
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: And I think that words are powerful. I think that

674
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: words like I think that as much like if you

675
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: believe in manifestation, if you believe that you can sit

676
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: here and be like, I'm i'ma have a big bag

677
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: tomorrow and you say that every day and you feel

678
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: like you can manifest that into your reality. You know

679
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, You have it the thing, you can

680
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 1: have it right, but also be able to understand like

681
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: that our words still have power. In terms of saying

682
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: certain things. You get what I'm saying. And I think

683
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 1: that just even to the hip hop community, it's at

684
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: some point like paying attention. Like I mean, I don't

685
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: think the universe. I don't think God recognized, like, oh

686
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: these words he's saying, this is just like his artcraft.

687
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a differentiation. Yeah, I think it

688
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 1: is what you put out there, you know what I say.

689
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: And I think that, And I'm not saying that in

690
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 1: terms of like that's what a person deserves. I don't

691
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: think that. I don't make those decisions. I'm not the

692
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: I'm not the finisher. I'm not the author of this all.

693
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying I think that just as a whole,

694
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: just what we put out periods as black people, in

695
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: terms of the visuals, the audios and everything. Just being

696
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: intentional about what message are you sending and that's what

697
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 1: if you.

698
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 2: Just said, like you and then also what you're consuming

699
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 2: as well, yeah, what.

700
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 1: You're consuming and being aware of that and and like

701
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 1: I just feel like that's that's where I stand, you know,

702
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 1: and just being very responsible with the messages that you're

703
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: relaying out there, because people are then taken it, and

704
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: even if you know, making sure the intention is there,

705
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 1: because how somebody else takes it, it could be you know,

706
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: like they can be consuming it's like, oh, like you know,

707
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: you didn't say gonna shoot somebody, but based on what

708
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: you did say, they processed it at right, somebody, you

709
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: know exactly like somebody did me wrong? Let me that's

710
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: what I'm supposed to do. So I don't know, and

711
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: I don't want to hold that blame. Like I don't

712
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: want to say that the hip hop community is responsible

713
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: or they put it out there and that's what they got. No.

714
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: I just think that it's a lot of people who

715
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: as they're processing this information right, they processing it traumatized,

716
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: you know, got all the issues that's going on, and

717
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: they have that's unaddressed what I'm saying. And I think that,

718
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: like because if I listen to it, I'm not tripped

719
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: like you that's you don't make me so you know,

720
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: when I was in high school enough, if you buck

721
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: was out right me, you like you'll be looking at

722
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: her like if you would make you feel.

723
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 5: But you ain't really about to like you know, in

724
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 5: high school, you know, I don't.

725
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: Like what you see today guy has worked with me

726
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: and he has right listen because I was definitely one

727
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: that would be like don't don't yet by his cover,

728
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: like that's this one. I was the same way. I

729
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: wanted to be very rowdy saying I feel like god, no,

730
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm so much calmer now. I am

731
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: we made to now. I feel like I'm way calmer.

732
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: I'm not you actually are? You ain't put your hands

733
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: on me. In three years, I gonna be like you

734
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 1: to get the fuck out of my house. Yes, so,

735
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: but bons is not the end. Yeah, and I wonder

736
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: why because, like I said, you know what, I would

737
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 1: honestly though, but I would rather people fight. If you

738
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: feel some type of waite nigga get in the street,

739
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, what I herm it is. I think

740
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 1: the thing is is that even when I be like,

741
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 1: when you look at a lot of different type of situations,

742
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: people feelings be hurt. I think that's what it beat.

743
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: So if I beat you up and your feelings hurt

744
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: you embarrassed, now it's like that's what Now, It's that

745
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: it's really and if you boil that down, it's your ego,

746
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: Like it's like your ego is born like it's like

747
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: a little blemish that It's like, you know, you better

748
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 1: go through something to her like you got like and

749
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: I got people go to the way Mama were. If

750
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: you beat like Sam, we fear car you beat me up,

751
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: i'm a i'm an let's go sneak you see. Just

752
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: hypothetically she might feel some type of ways just like

753
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: it doesn't work and think it just comes down to

754
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, violence like fighting and all,

755
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: like fighting is going to go to the next level

756
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 1: you go, It's gonna continue. It's like like doctor King said, y'all,

757
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: violence breathes silence. You know, at the end of the day,

758
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: no matter if you fighting. You know, if you started

759
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 1: off with a knife, the knife's gonna end up escalating

760
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 1: to THEMN good or whatever. The fi's gonna escalate to

761
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 1: the knife, knife to the good. And it's just like

762
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,240
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, can I like listen,

763
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: I got a problem, Like I got a problem, and

764
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: my problem is you hurt my feelings right flat the

765
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: fuck out, Like they saying, what is the issue? Man?

766
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: You hurt my feelings? You came and me real like

767
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 1: I ain't like that. You know what I'm saying, and

768
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 1: I think people don't like to be that type of

769
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 1: vulnerable because you could go out and try to like,

770
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: you know, but like girls, she can't me talking about

771
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 1: I heard that. You know, maybe they fear that. But

772
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I think that being

773
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: comfortable to come to a place to address people head on,

774
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 1: like not in front of the whole bunch of everybody

775
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: and instigators and people want to see bullshit. They literally

776
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 1: pulling the person to the side, like look, I was

777
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: pissed off and just kind of getting to the meat

778
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: of the issue. And see I was gonna say, like

779
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 1: people always want to talk about like gun violence laws

780
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I think that changing some of the

781
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 1: gun laws could make a difference, But I think that

782
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: is more and so of a mental state that people have,

783
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: Like you have to have a certain mentality to be like,

784
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just not going to resort to

785
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: resort to violence, because even if they change gun laws,

786
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: people will still find a way resort to violence if

787
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 1: that's what they want to do.

788
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 2: Right, Because I feel like, I'm glad that you said that.

789
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 2: Communication is so important to me. It is like the

790
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 2: number one thing that I know I have to work on.

791
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 5: And I I just emphasize that.

792
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: In my relationships and my friendships and everything, because I

793
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 1: feel like if we want to talk about it, like

794
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: in the hip hop community, everybody want to talk about

795
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 1: how they are real nigga.

796
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: Everybody's saying they are real nigga, they are a real nigga.

797
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 2: Well you know what a real nigga can do. A

798
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: real nigga can pick up the phone and fucking talk.

799
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,439
Speaker 1: Y'all want to know the realationship that I've ever heard.

800
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: One of my good friends I went to high school with,

801
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 1: he's had he's paralyzed right now, right, one of the

802
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: smartest people that I knew in high school, right, And

803
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 1: he had a real like complex, like about being tough,

804
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: what was a man? Right? And he ended up he

805
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: felt like fighting, like showing that I'm nigga. I beat

806
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: your ass like that, that's me being a man. And

807
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: he told me. I was talking to him and he

808
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: was like, actually it was you know, one of my

809
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: homeboys before I got shot. You know, he was like,

810
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: I put myself in this predicament. I put myself in

811
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 1: this wheelchair, So why do you say that? And he

812
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 1: was like, because my homeboy had said to me, like

813
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: you you you you get soft out here. You know

814
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You move in you're like, you know,

815
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: it's like almost like you were punk out here. You

816
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You ain't tough as you used

817
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: to be. And he was like, it was that that

818
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 1: like triggered me, like, nigga, no the fuck I ain't.

819
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: So when he went to the club and got into

820
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 1: it with this nigga, you know, he he felt like,

821
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,439
Speaker 1: it's time to show I'm tough. I'm a man. Don't

822
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: don't never underestimate my manhood, you know what I'm saying.

823
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: And so it was that him getting into it, and

824
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 1: when he walked out, the person ended up shoot them.

825
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 1: He ended up being paralyzed. And at the end of

826
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: the day, when he said that, he was like, what

827
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: I realized, he was, like, what you doing? Black men

828
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: deserved to grow old. Young boys need to understand, like

829
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: need to need a right to passage. They need like

830
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: the right to passage is it's like you come to

831
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 1: this this point in life where you're about to cross

832
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 1: over a threshold into another point in life. Right, so

833
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 1: it's almost like your graduation period, like and in every

834
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: other community. For for Jewish people, it's like their barnments.

835
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: For Hispanic people like, it's what do we have? What

836
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: advances you from your your adolescent years into your teenage

837
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: years and stuff like that, and what what introduces you

838
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: to manhoods? Right? And for us it be like take

839
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 1: a body, did you did you kill a nigga? Did

840
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: you know all these things that nigga? You don't cry?

841
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: How many of them did you funk? Oh? You a

842
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: man now? And it's nothing for our young men to

843
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: able to. What is there? What is their their right

844
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 1: to pass it?

845
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:07,760
Speaker 6: What?

846
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,240
Speaker 1: What? What validates them as a man? What's the real nigga?

847
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 1: How about that? People like, it's a real nigga? What

848
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 1: is the what is definition? Is the wild? Was just

849
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 1: saying just now, And I think that honestly, if we all,

850
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: like I would like to say, y'all, let's do some homework.

851
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 1: Let's go home and write it out. What is the

852
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 1: definition of a real nigga? And when you write that

853
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: ship down and you see what actually comes out of

854
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 1: your mouth, what you manifest on paper, you be like,

855
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: I think I'm fucked up in the head. I don't

856
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 1: know what. I don't know what that really means, do

857
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: I really want a man like that? Yeah? Do I

858
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 1: really want to think about it? Do I really want

859
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: a man like that? So then when you reevaluate and

860
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: you do your research on what it means and what

861
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,319
Speaker 1: it takes, they don't look like the men that we

862
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: see in our community for real, not the ones that

863
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 1: we probably would think and go to the club and

864
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: be like, I wan't he right? The ones that we

865
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 1: think and that's the good one. People may put on

866
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: there like he gotta have a watch and a chain.

867
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: That's the real nigga to be me too, Like okay,

868
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 1: well the biggest, the biggest ball in the room. But

869
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: but as you get older and you grow, you realize

870
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: those type of things really don't matter. Like you need

871
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 1: to care about the type of person somebody is, they character,

872
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: they moral.

873
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: And I just said this, I said, you know what,

874
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 2: I was having a conversation with a guy that I

875
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: used to day he used to talk to And I

876
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 2: met this.

877
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 1: Guy a year ago.

878
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 2: And it's crazy because I feel like I grow so

879
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 2: much every day, especially since my mom passed.

880
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 1: It has completely changed my outlook. Thank you. That's the

881
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: whole thing. So last year, like when I met this guy,

882
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, Lex, come on with me.

883
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 2: We about to go do this, We about to go

884
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 2: do this, and it was like, okay, let's go, let's

885
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 2: do it. And it's like then like we had fell

886
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 2: out because of something else, and then we started and

887
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 2: he had hit me up to like kind of talk again,

888
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 2: and we were just having a conversation and you know,

889
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 2: thank God that I've been blessed and my life has

890
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 2: changed so much career wise. So I was like, the

891
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:07,720
Speaker 2: things I was initially attracted to you for that doesn't matter.

892
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: So what else is there?

893
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 2: And it's like, when you think about it, like I

894
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 2: used to consider, like, oh, a real nigga is somebody

895
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 2: who's gonna make sure you straight at all times and

896
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 2: take care of this money and take care of this

897
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 2: which you know, I still believe that, because a real

898
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 2: nigga is gonna make sure you straight.

899
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: But it's much more than that, because I'm like, mentally,

900
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 1: I just lost my mom. Yeah, and you talking to

901
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: me about which car you feeling buy? Right now? What

902
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: are we doing here? That's why I wanted to talk

903
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: about like grieving and like your a healing journey because

904
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: I feel like, unfortunately when traumatic things happen and you're grieving,

905
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 1: like it forces you to have to like really shift

906
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: your mindset and like realize what's important in Like, for sure,

907
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: I feel like it's so much shit that Like before

908
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 1: I lost my dad, I just did not give a

909
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 1: fuck about But when I lost my dad, it really

910
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: made me feel like this shit ain't important. It's not.

911
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: This is what's important. Like I care way more about

912
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 1: how people make me feel, if people are conducive to

913
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 1: my growth as a person. Now, Like back in the day,

914
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: this used to be more like what can you do

915
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 1: for me? What you're wanting to the table? I listen.

916
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 1: I think what it is overall is like you realize

917
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:18,320
Speaker 1: how fragile life is. You realize that wait a minute,

918
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: people die like you never see them again, and one

919
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: day that could be me. It's going to be me.

920
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,720
Speaker 1: It's just a matter of when. So at this particular point,

921
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 1: I need to make the best of every moment that

922
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: I have, every breath that I take, I need to

923
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 1: make the best of that. I need to make the

924
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 1: best of Like, listen, if you're about to consume this

925
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 1: air that I got going on, this needs to make sense.

926
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: This needs to make sense. Because listen, I faint promised,

927
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying. Look, we ain't done, child,

928
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 1: We is not done because I got a lot of

929
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 1: shit because wait, oh well look we recorded an episode before,

930
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: so I'm sure we got to. But now when together,

931
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 1: I've been trying to hold it together.

932
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 2: But you know what's crazy, Like I will say this

933
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 2: about my grieving journey. I feel like I saw you, girl,

934
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 2: and I'm not and I'm not gonna get emotional because

935
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 2: I know how I am.

936
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 1: Yes, if you start, I know I'm not. I'm not girl. Yeah,

937
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 1: it's just like the ground, very good, very beautiful. Let

938
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 1: me say this. I had watched the interview you did

939
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 1: at the White House. They had asked you to speak,

940
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,799
Speaker 1: and you were not prepared and you you got up

941
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 1: there and you said you were like, I don't even

942
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: know how I'm doing this, and I don't know how

943
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: I'm strong enough to stay in here.

944
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 2: And I wanted to talk about that just because literally,

945
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 2: like six months before my mom passed, Drea had called

946
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,800
Speaker 2: me and she was upset thinking about her dad and things,

947
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 2: and I was just, you know, trying to help her.

948
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 2: And I was like, man like, but Dre, you're so

949
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 2: strong because I.

950
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: Don't know what I would do with my mom. Would

951
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: Doe say, oh girl, I don't even.

952
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 2: Want to think about it. Let's not even talk about it.

953
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 2: Because literally to day Drea's dad passed.

954
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: She called me at Yeah, she.

955
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 2: Called me at nine o'clock in the morning, ball and crying.

956
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,839
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm sleep, I'm like, what's going on?

957
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 1: She's like, my dad, my dad is going I said, look,

958
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 1: stay home.

959
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna because this is when we used to record

960
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 2: and drop the episode the same week, So I had

961
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 2: to go record. I got it, I'm gonna call my homegirl,

962
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 2: she gonna come up to Stray was like no, Dre

963
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 2: brought her ass to the studio and recorded.

964
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: So me my mom.

965
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 2: My relationship with my mom was a little different. And

966
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 2: I'm not saying different from like you and your dad, but.

967
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: Like it was always me and my mom, like and

968
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 1: I was that was my girl. And people know the listeners,

969
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,479
Speaker 1: y'all know how many and my mom was so and

970
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 1: it was very sudden. It was unexpected. So when my

971
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 1: mom passed, we were just about to announce the tour.

972
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 2: So I had to make a decision. I was like,

973
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 2: do I want to really go on tour. And this

974
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 2: is the first time I've ever talked about this on

975
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 2: the show.

976
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:20,720
Speaker 1: I was like, do I want to go on tour?

977
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 2: And you know, this is what my mom has been

978
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 2: rooting for because she was so proud of us.

979
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: She was so happy about that. I said, do I

980
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 1: want to go on tour or do I just need

981
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 1: to just like be in myself and just grieve and

982
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 1: be sad and go through this. And I was like,

983
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: you know what, bitch, get your ass up and go

984
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 1: on tour, because this is what she would want. And

985
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 1: I found myself I didn't know.

986
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 2: I don't know how I did it, but like we

987
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 2: had our first show in Atlanta, and like when you

988
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 2: said in that moment, I don't know how I'm standing here,

989
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 2: I don't know how.

990
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 1: I do not know how I am doing this. I

991
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,959
Speaker 1: don't know. Sometimes I don't know either. Like it's really

992
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: amazing to watch because I feel like, you know, when

993
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 1: I lost my dad, it was just a little bit

994
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: of a different situation because my dad had been sick

995
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: for like four years. He had a few strokes, so

996
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 1: of course I didn't expect him to pass when he did,

997
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: but I knew that I always knew it was a

998
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: possibility that it could happened, and so when he passed away,

999
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,239
Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, damn. And me and my

1000
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: dad were really really close to because I grew up

1001
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 1: in the two parent household. My parents were married my

1002
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 1: whole life, and like me and my dad was really

1003
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 1: really tight and it was a lot to go through,

1004
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,760
Speaker 1: but I couldn't imagine having to go through it right now,

1005
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: like with everything that we're doing, like being so busy

1006
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 1: and being on the road, because at the time we

1007
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: weren't as busy, you know, as we are now, and

1008
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 1: it's just really amazing to watch you and how you

1009
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: maneuver and stuff. But I just always tell you, I

1010
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 1: feel like it's because like she's guiding you. And that's

1011
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 1: the same way I feel about my dad. Like every day,

1012
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: I feel like when my dad passed away, literally my

1013
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 1: day they have passed away. And then maybe a few

1014
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 1: months later, that's when our show started taking off, and

1015
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 1: that's when we got signed with eighty five South and

1016
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: all of these things just started aligning and happening, and

1017
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 1: I really felt like it's because my dad is really

1018
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: like my god in right now. Do you ever feel

1019
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: that way too. Listen, I'm over here. Yeah, it's like

1020
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 1: it's really clazy. I tell people, they'd be like, you

1021
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 1: on't me crying. I'll be like, listen, I have gotten

1022
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: to a place to like like learn how to suppress. Yeah,

1023
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 1: and I think it's pretty it's hard for people when

1024
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: they don't when people don't walk in your shoes, when

1025
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 1: you don't understand what looks like. Yeah, when it's close

1026
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 1: to you. You got so much to say. I think

1027
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: you know it. Man, if that was me I fell

1028
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: out of that's just oh my god. You would think

1029
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: that you would do all of these things that you

1030
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: don't know what you would do until you do it. Yea,

1031
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 1: until you there. And I always say, I pray that

1032
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,919
Speaker 1: you don't have to hurt, right, you know what I'm saying.

1033
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: For me, I honestly be like listen to the point

1034
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: to I'm not gonna even say I don't know how

1035
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,879
Speaker 1: I do it, because for me to say that, it's real, Like, girl,

1036
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: you better acknowledge where you get your strength from it.

1037
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm like, this is not me, This is

1038
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: not me. I pray to God like I've broken down,

1039
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But ass naked in the shower,

1040
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: just like God, I don't know what to do. I

1041
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,320
Speaker 1: don't I don't have it. I don't have the answers.

1042
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I'm broken. I'm hurt, like crying

1043
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 1: profusely like sadr just feeling like the weight of the

1044
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: world or just here. You know what I'm saying, and

1045
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: I'm just I just need you. I need like literally

1046
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 1: start like saying things that I heard old ladies from

1047
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: church say. I surrender all. You know what I'm saying,

1048
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 1: all to be my blessed savior. I surrender to you,

1049
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: like literally, like the only thing I knew to do.

1050
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,319
Speaker 1: I mean, and I'm talking about like in the heat

1051
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 1: of it, like I don't have nobody to call, I

1052
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: don't have nobody to look to. It's nothing. Nobody can

1053
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 1: say that I'm quiet. Anybody says praying like I just

1054
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,879
Speaker 1: helped me cause I'm hurt. You know what I'm saying.

1055
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 1: And that's the only thing I know that I consistently

1056
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: called on, like for his strength, for his direction, you

1057
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And I do feel like through

1058
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: that he gave eight off the assignment, you know, like

1059
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: be her guard, guardian, my brother. You know what I'm saying,

1060
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: Like like I lost my dad years before. I was

1061
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 1: nineteen when I lost my dad, and girl, when I

1062
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 1: did it, it was like I don't know what to

1063
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,439
Speaker 1: do with these emotions, Like I don't think about it young.

1064
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 1: I was so young. I just got a job. I

1065
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 1: was in college, just got a job at auto. I

1066
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 1: don't know if y'all remember, Yeah, you're gonna be an

1067
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: assistant manager. You know that. So right before my dad passed,

1068
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: I had gotten a job. And so when I told

1069
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 1: him he passed, they were wanting, like to give the

1070
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: job away, and I was like, don't do that, Like

1071
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:02,720
Speaker 1: I need something. And so even me as I thrust

1072
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 1: myself into Mamio or black men deserve to grow. Oh,

1073
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 1: for some that's watching me, they're like, how's she doing that?

1074
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like you must didn't like

1075
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: they's say all types of stupid ass shit that I

1076
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 1: just be like, bro, listen, I'm not gonna even entertain

1077
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 1: that you have not even begin to walk them out

1078
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:22,359
Speaker 1: with a second or anything. And sometimes those things are

1079
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,439
Speaker 1: the things that you need to keep you going. Because

1080
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the same way I was when

1081
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: my dad passed away. I feel like, Okay, I'm gonna

1082
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 1: put all my all into port minds like these she

1083
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: gotta work. I have to have something to feel like

1084
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: I'm living for it right now because I don't like

1085
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 1: it's like from a loss. There's a burn, but having

1086
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: no babies, but you burst in like new life and

1087
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 1: your business, like your purpose, your every like it's it's

1088
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: so much that happens in those moments that people on

1089
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 1: the outside who haven't experienced you won't never understand that

1090
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 1: you know and for And that's what I relate to

1091
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: both of them, Like I don't know you know what

1092
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying, but I feel like I've been positioned to

1093
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: be able to have Like when I open my mouth,

1094
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,839
Speaker 1: it's for a reason, it's for purpose, it's intentional, like

1095
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,920
Speaker 1: and it's like I can tell that, like okay, like

1096
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,839
Speaker 1: my life is ultimately all of our lives, like this

1097
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: is not something that's within our control. Like we have

1098
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,800
Speaker 1: an illustrator, we have an author, We got a person

1099
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: that happens. It doesn't happen by chance. Yeah, because I

1100
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: acknowledge that. I just see how he's directed and he's

1101
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: opening doors for y'all, like for both of y'all, and

1102
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: he's having he's a signing guardian angels to your life.

1103
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 1: And me, I invite those guardian angels. I invite my brother,

1104
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: I invite like Ado's presence, I invite my father's presence

1105
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 1: to be like my three like this looking over it,

1106
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,640
Speaker 1: and they all leos to girl, Lili, Oh my god,

1107
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:54,920
Speaker 1: that is girl. So when you said August seventeen, let

1108
00:54:54,960 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 1: me but like, I'm really intology, you know, I really

1109
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 1: believe in signs and stuff in my morning. I love. Look,

1110
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 1: I got a little long window story. Let me tell y'all.

1111
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 1: Let me tell y'all. Story'm gonna start from starting to finish,

1112
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,720
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna look, I'm gonna make it through the story.

1113
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 2: Okay, but this is how like I said things, just.

1114
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: The line line. God is real.

1115
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 2: So we're on our way, uh to Nashville for our

1116
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 2: first live show, and that's when we found out, you know,

1117
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 2: he had passed, and I.

1118
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:32,399
Speaker 1: Was literally it was the same. Damn.

1119
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:36,360
Speaker 2: It was my first live show and Drew woke me

1120
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 2: up out of my sleep and it was just crazy because.

1121
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 1: I had never been on stage live for my own show.

1122
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: I swear to God on my mother the day before,

1123
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 2: I was going shopping trying to find me Off here.

1124
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,280
Speaker 1: I was listening to off the whole day. I said, bitch,

1125
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 1: like I'm getting ready, like I'm about to you know.

1126
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: So the day when it.

1127
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,360
Speaker 2: Happened, it was just like a whole bunch of craziness.

1128
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 2: So you know, fast forward. I don't want to get

1129
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 2: too much.

1130
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 1: In the day, So fast forward, and you know, we

1131
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 1: had Metal Leaves and she was like saying, you know

1132
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 1: how you know we wanted to bring you on show.

1133
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 1: I was like, ooh, I really, you know, I just

1134
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: want to talk to her.

1135
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:10,439
Speaker 2: You know, like I just feel like it's a lot

1136
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 2: that you could, you know, tell me, because I felt

1137
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 2: like like I'm just struggling. You know, I have my

1138
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:18,360
Speaker 2: moments like I feel like I am a very strong person,

1139
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 2: but I be struggling, you know, like some days I

1140
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 2: really struggle. So in New York, we had a New

1141
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 2: York show, and the New York show was craziness.

1142
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: So in New York, I will say this was the first.

1143
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 2: Show where we had so many people that were coming

1144
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 2: up to us crying, like it was Lex Drea, you

1145
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,840
Speaker 2: got me through my depression, you got me through this,

1146
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 2: you got me through that.

1147
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, we really touching people like cause, don't

1148
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 1: get me wrong, we bullshit a lot on this show,

1149
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: and we have fun. We joke, but we make people

1150
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: feel good and that's all I care about. And I'm like,

1151
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:51,720
Speaker 1: you know, thanking these people.

1152
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,399
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm touching all these people and I'm

1153
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 2: making I'm getting them through their times. And I go

1154
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 2: back to my hotel room and I just lay in

1155
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: the bed and I.

1156
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 1: Had a breakdown. I just lost it. Drea was literally

1157
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 1: walking by my room and like knocked on the door

1158
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 1: and she was like, you know, you had to come

1159
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: in the room and was like, friend, what's going on?

1160
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 1: Because I was crying so loud. I was like, oh

1161
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 1: my god, yes, Like I.

1162
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 2: Was having a breakdown because it's like it's hard because

1163
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 2: you know, you feel like you're touching so many people

1164
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 2: and you don't know, like how do I fulfill myself?

1165
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 2: So it's just crazy because last night, you know, I

1166
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 2: was watching your interview, like I said, when you walked

1167
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 2: in front of the people, and you were like, you know,

1168
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 2: I don't know what to say right now, and I

1169
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,919
Speaker 2: don't know, you know, I'm strong right now, and it's

1170
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 2: like it was just so relatable because it's like you

1171
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 2: don't know how. And I prayed that night that I

1172
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: had that breakdown. I prayed to God. I said, I

1173
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 2: just I just need to talk to my mom. I

1174
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 2: just need a sign. It's been three times where I've

1175
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 2: had a really bad breakdowns and I really was just like,

1176
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 2: please say something to me. And I've had I can

1177
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 2: tell and I dream about my mom and it's just

1178
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 2: kind of like me dreaming versus her talking to me.

1179
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 2: And I've had three bad breakdowns and she's came to

1180
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 2: me every single time and was like the last time

1181
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 2: I had.

1182
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 1: A dream was she when I was in New York

1183
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:17,400
Speaker 1: and she was like, girl, get it together, because you

1184
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: know how my mom was like take care of yourself

1185
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 1: and put yourself first. So you know, when you were saying,

1186
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 1: like you do this for him and he's like giving

1187
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: you that strength and giving you that power, it's like

1188
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 1: that it finally clicked to me, that's why I'm doing this,

1189
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 1: Like she is really pushing me.

1190
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 2: She's pushing me so much to like, I mean, I'm

1191
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 2: to the point to where like I can talk about

1192
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 2: her now and it's not like an emotional I used

1193
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 2: to be on the floor, couldn't even say her name

1194
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 2: or even think about it, you know what I'm saying.

1195
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 2: But I think a lot of things that people need

1196
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 2: to realize too, is that it's a healing journey, and

1197
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 2: it's it's a journey and it's long.

1198
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard to because it's like bittersweet because it's

1199
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 1: like you have this person that you love so much,

1200
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: you care so much about this person, and like everything

1201
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 1: that you're doing, everything that you're experiencing, you wish that

1202
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 1: they were here to experience it with you. And you

1203
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: know that they would be so proud of you and

1204
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: a person that you're becoming. But it's like, and I

1205
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 1: guess in a sense, you are still sharing it with

1206
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 1: them because they're still watching you from where they are.

1207
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: But it's just hard to look at it like this.

1208
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:34,120
Speaker 1: The times like you'd be like, fuck, I miss this person,

1209
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 1: Like I wish they were here. I'm living in my purpose.

1210
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm fulfilling my purpose and I'm happy about that, but

1211
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: I wish you were here to experience it with me.

1212
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 1: Mine is a little different, just because I feel like

1213
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 1: it'd be so bittersweet. It's like, yeah, where like before

1214
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 1: this happened, right, So Adolf was really really big on

1215
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 1: like people like people will be like, oh, dang, I

1216
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:59,280
Speaker 1: didn't know he was in a relationship or all of

1217
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 1: the things that they have now know, unless you follow it.

1218
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 1: Then I always have been about like sharing family, like

1219
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 1: the mom and CEO, like you know, I was always

1220
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:13,040
Speaker 1: just sharing, like advocating for families and just different things

1221
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 1: like make these how you make lunches or whatever. So

1222
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 1: but if you did not know, Adolf protected us so much,

1223
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: you know, and he would try to explain it to me.

1224
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 1: And that's the thing, even going back to p B

1225
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: p m B's girl, Like he would try to explain

1226
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 1: stuff to me that because I just lacked an understanding

1227
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And I would just be

1228
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: like why, like why you know, and he would be

1229
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: trying to explain it in like my brain because you

1230
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 1: be on Instagram so much and you see all these

1231
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: let's normalize. Everybody want you normalize, you know, like putting

1232
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 1: on their relationship, like baby, I'm protecting you. Like people,

1233
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 1: this shit is crazy out here. Very they always like

1234
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 1: saw the side that like shit is crazy. People crazy

1235
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 1: people will come for you to to die and I'm like,

1236
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 1: you know, these people over here, they do it like

1237
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 1: we ain't them, and so it be kind of hard,

1238
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: like social media be kind of hard reality and all

1239
01:01:13,280 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 1: that type of stuff. So he just really tried to

1240
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: protect me. He's like, listen, I don't need you to

1241
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,880
Speaker 1: contribute to this household. I got it. I don't need

1242
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 1: listen love that period should be listen. I was blessed.

1243
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 1: I am blessed. Let me say that. You know what

1244
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It ain't even in past, since I am blessed.

1245
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 1: Adolph was like, listen, I want you to be there.

1246
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 1: I want you to be available to our children. They

1247
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:42,160
Speaker 1: need you, they need you fully present. And I'm like, okay,

1248
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 1: so if I do this, you know I got purpose

1249
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 1: to Fulfiel He like, listen, as long as the household

1250
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 1: don't lack you, good. So I have made it in

1251
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 1: my mind like once I be like, once I do

1252
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 1: all my household chores, you know what I'm saying. Literally,

1253
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 1: it got the point to where it was like I

1254
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 1: heard him. I did finally come to understand. I was like,

1255
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:07,320
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't matter because you got it. Yeah,

1256
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: And it was like I knew that I had purpose

1257
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: to fulfill. But I was just like, Adolf, you know,

1258
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 1: I'm doing this for my brother, like I'm doing black

1259
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,560
Speaker 1: men deserve. I'ma push that, Mama CEO. I'ma push that

1260
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 1: cause like these families they need to hear this and

1261
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 1: if they need to see that, you're a family man

1262
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:21,680
Speaker 1: like and he was just like, I'm mean, I don't

1263
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 1: want people see it, like they don't have to know

1264
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 1: my personal story and hated that. And I was like, baby,

1265
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 1: like this is important. I feel like God got you

1266
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 1: doing so he just was like whatever. So literally I

1267
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: was like right before everything happened, I was like, okay,

1268
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 1: so you know when black men deserve, like I want

1269
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 1: you to like, I want you to be a part

1270
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 1: of this. And he's like me, if I be a

1271
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 1: part of it, he gotta be big, big shit. And

1272
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, what you how do you

1273
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:50,600
Speaker 1: want to do it. He's like me, I don't know,

1274
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 1: i'mnna think about it. I'm'n let you know. And I'm like, okay,

1275
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 1: well you know, like you know, just let me know.

1276
01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: And literally, like I'm telling you this is like no,

1277
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 1: this is like early November endo October, no bull shit,

1278
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 1: Like literally he has said the marst to me, like

1279
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:12,040
Speaker 1: if I do something, it gotta be big and I'm

1280
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 1: gonna think about I'm gonna let you know. And when

1281
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 1: he passed, I was doing this from August. I launched

1282
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 1: it twenty twenty one in August, and people were like

1283
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, I think that's a good thing.

1284
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 1: But I was putting our statistics on how we kill

1285
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 1: each other all types of thing, right, you know. And

1286
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 1: literally when he passed, it was like so many people

1287
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: it was like it took the passing of him for

1288
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:41,280
Speaker 1: the message to be And that crushed me, cause it

1289
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 1: was like, I dang, They're like, but like y'all mother,

1290
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 1: Like it was just like it took for like this,

1291
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 1: this is what I've been talking about, like this, this

1292
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 1: is a part of it. Like you know what I'm saying.

1293
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,800
Speaker 1: It took for me to lose this person for people

1294
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 1: to actually understand that, like black on black crime is

1295
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: the thing we need. What we're gonna do about that?

1296
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:03,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, didn't get hit that like Nipsey hit.

1297
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know people, when that ship hit, it was

1298
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 2: like you fucking lying.

1299
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: And I understand you saying your frustration because like in

1300
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 1: going to therapy, like they teach you, like the different

1301
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:20,920
Speaker 1: stages agreed and anger is always like the first stage.

1302
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: I've been talking. I get what you're saying. Like I've

1303
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 1: been talking about this, I've been trying to tell y'all

1304
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 1: about this, but now y'all like, oh, I giddy and

1305
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 1: it and it was like and then on top of that,

1306
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 1: so as you know, people like, well, you know, like

1307
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:35,600
Speaker 1: when people ask me to come to do interview, it

1308
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 1: was for someone I don't want to. I don't want to.

1309
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 1: This is not a success for me. Yeah, this is

1310
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,920
Speaker 1: not no ship. And I'm like, you know, all ship, Yeah,

1311
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 1: I can't even be like how That's why I said

1312
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 1: it's different from y'all because y'all can be like I

1313
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 1: feel like my mother and my father they propelling me

1314
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,479
Speaker 1: to the next level. For me, I'm like, I don't

1315
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 1: like that. Like if somebody was like take advantage of

1316
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:58,200
Speaker 1: like I was pushed into it or don't even like

1317
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 1: you know, it's an opportunity, listen, I would be telling

1318
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 1: my team they probably was thinking I was that shit crazy.

1319
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 1: You know, they probably didn't think I was crazy, but

1320
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:08,480
Speaker 1: I was like, I think this is like, you know,

1321
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 1: a great opportunites, Like, don't say opportunity to me. It

1322
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: would trigger me because it's like my life. This is

1323
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:21,040
Speaker 1: my life, bro, Like, listen, So if it's something that

1324
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:23,280
Speaker 1: you want me to do, give me a second pray

1325
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 1: to God real quick asking this like I would literally

1326
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 1: be like I'm not that religious or spiritual, but I

1327
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 1: would requiring people like you're gonna have to pray before

1328
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,480
Speaker 1: you come to me, because this is my life I

1329
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 1: just lost. But let me tell you this, though, this

1330
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 1: is why people are built different, and everything that you've

1331
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:53,360
Speaker 1: been doing, you different. The ship that you're doing, it's

1332
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 1: a lot of people that lost their spouses and lost

1333
01:05:56,200 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 1: their minds. I had a friend who lost her mom

1334
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 1: a long time ago and she lost her mind still

1335
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 1: and not saying it's not even spouse, it's just people

1336
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 1: like people be losing theyselves.

1337
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 2: After I'm telling you what you're doing, is you built different?

1338
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 2: Like and it's not, and it's not, but it was

1339
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 2: God knew, you know, he knows, he knows who to

1340
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 2: give their journey.

1341
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 1: And then how so cliche you hate to say that

1342
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 1: and be so much I don't want to be your friend,

1343
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:33,560
Speaker 1: but I'm saying, but it's be so much cliche, but

1344
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:36,400
Speaker 1: I am. But when you go through it and it

1345
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 1: hits you, you realize what the people talking about. Because

1346
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 1: I used to hate when people would tell Drea, oh,

1347
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,440
Speaker 1: your dad is he's rooting for you, and I'd be like, y,

1348
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,800
Speaker 1: like you so strong, But when you're going through that,

1349
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 1: it's like, but it is what it is, and that

1350
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 1: makes me cringe that you so strong? Yes, because you

1351
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:58,400
Speaker 1: not because and I'm gonna tell you, I go through

1352
01:06:58,440 --> 01:07:00,960
Speaker 1: the same thing. Yeah, before even all of this happened

1353
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 1: to me. When I start having children, I'm like, I

1354
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,120
Speaker 1: was like this strong black woman ship that I've been

1355
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:11,800
Speaker 1: raised up on. It want to like because I would

1356
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 1: be like, you know, Adolf would be gone, you know

1357
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:16,840
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, care business and I'd be like, I'm pregnant,

1358
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:20,840
Speaker 1: like can you run my feet like I'm a lady,

1359
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,800
Speaker 1: like would be like you know, he was, don't get

1360
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:28,040
Speaker 1: me wrong, like he was even in his busyness, he

1361
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:31,400
Speaker 1: was so gentle like like the like them leos, they

1362
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:34,640
Speaker 1: be like a gentle spirit because my dad and my

1363
01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 1: brother were both one and he still was gentle and

1364
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 1: be so like, you know, don't want to hurt your feelings,

1365
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,959
Speaker 1: like baby I'm just the diary come home. He would

1366
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:46,480
Speaker 1: be so, he will be gentle, he'll be loving, like

1367
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But I just was like,

1368
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:50,400
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be looking at me like

1369
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:54,120
Speaker 1: I can bear the world on my shoulders like want to.

1370
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:57,880
Speaker 1: I'm a strong black woman period, but it's like I

1371
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,280
Speaker 1: think sometimes like I've seen so much. I mean, my

1372
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 1: grandma's strong black woman. I'm not not that. I don't

1373
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:09,320
Speaker 1: need no man.

1374
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 2: I get what you're saying, but watch what you're saying.

1375
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:16,920
Speaker 2: The words that was very much my mother. You know,

1376
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 2: my dad actually passed away when I was two. I

1377
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 2: was very little when my dad passed away. So growing up,

1378
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:25,160
Speaker 2: it was just always me, my mom and my sister.

1379
01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:27,000
Speaker 2: So my mom raised.

1380
01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:29,759
Speaker 1: Us like that, like be strong and take care of yourself,

1381
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,040
Speaker 1: and I'm always do that, but it's like, Mama, I

1382
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 1: don't want that for myself because don't get me wrong,

1383
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,920
Speaker 1: I lived a very beauty I had a very beautiful childhood.

1384
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,360
Speaker 1: I had a very beautiful life, and I always give

1385
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,880
Speaker 1: that to my mom. My mom will always poured into me,

1386
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:46,160
Speaker 1: you know, when people would tell me my personality was

1387
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:48,599
Speaker 1: too much and I need to be quiet. My mom

1388
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:50,439
Speaker 1: was the one like, no, let her do it, you know.

1389
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:54,439
Speaker 2: So I always, you know, thank her for that. But

1390
01:08:54,479 --> 01:08:57,120
Speaker 2: as far as how she was when it comes to like.

1391
01:08:57,680 --> 01:09:00,320
Speaker 1: Working hard, I don't want to work hard. I gotta

1392
01:09:00,360 --> 01:09:02,160
Speaker 1: sit on this table and talk once a week. That's

1393
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,360
Speaker 1: all I wanted to, you know what I'm saying.

1394
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 2: But so it's good that you know that you lip

1395
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 2: because you can also preach to that, like you don't

1396
01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:12,640
Speaker 2: have to if you're dealing with somebody who this is.

1397
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:15,240
Speaker 2: This is what building is about, though, because even though

1398
01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:17,439
Speaker 2: he's not here, you're still building.

1399
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:21,320
Speaker 1: Off of his legacy. And that is so important because

1400
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, I can speak for a lot of people.

1401
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,400
Speaker 2: He was one of the realist rappers in the game.

1402
01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:31,040
Speaker 2: Everybody can say that period everybody.

1403
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:36,720
Speaker 1: Period, period, like you can't. Nigga was one of the

1404
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 1: realists in the game. So and y'all know him as rappers, yes,

1405
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:44,240
Speaker 1: and so for him, you know what, a lot of

1406
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:46,120
Speaker 1: times people pass away and people come out with all

1407
01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 1: these crazy stories and this it ain't been nothing but good.

1408
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:53,880
Speaker 1: But that is like my friends, y'all, like my friends,

1409
01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:56,439
Speaker 1: I'll be like, he's so busy, but he got a

1410
01:09:56,479 --> 01:09:58,439
Speaker 1: good heart. They be like, is this the hard fucking

1411
01:09:58,479 --> 01:10:03,320
Speaker 1: you I'm like they would they would be like, why

1412
01:10:03,439 --> 01:10:06,280
Speaker 1: you always like missed? Like I mean because I know him.

1413
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:11,760
Speaker 1: He's busy, but he is not like and I used

1414
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:14,360
Speaker 1: to be like that Adolf, but his heart really was

1415
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:17,400
Speaker 1: like I mean, I'm talking about to me, but to anybody,

1416
01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:19,120
Speaker 1: like he ain't about to try to hurt nobody feeling.

1417
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:21,280
Speaker 1: He ain't about to try to talk down. He ain't

1418
01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:23,360
Speaker 1: about to try to slick like you know, we in

1419
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 1: a group of people and he was like, man, yo,

1420
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:30,240
Speaker 1: you gaining weight? Los he gonna say something that's so uplifting, like, man,

1421
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:32,360
Speaker 1: I see you looking good like you, you like you

1422
01:10:32,439 --> 01:10:36,000
Speaker 1: on your Like it's gonna be something that makes you

1423
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:39,280
Speaker 1: feel good about yourself now to tear you down. And

1424
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,800
Speaker 1: I would see that to him, with his friends, with

1425
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:46,160
Speaker 1: his family, just his principles and his morals and his values,

1426
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:49,559
Speaker 1: is that what made you like fall in love with him? Like,

1427
01:10:49,840 --> 01:10:51,759
Speaker 1: because at that point in my life, I just graduated

1428
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:54,640
Speaker 1: from college. I was from Detroit. Everything y'all said like

1429
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 1: what y'all thought of real? Like I'm from Detroit. Do

1430
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 1: he got Tomorrow? Yeah? He got the song exactly? You know,

1431
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:09,280
Speaker 1: we love a good book list, like help with song,

1432
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:16,040
Speaker 1: like I'm from betraying, so every materialistic South. I had

1433
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:18,920
Speaker 1: a real reality check people down south to me, they

1434
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:23,280
Speaker 1: were not betrayed, was like put that shi, they wouldn't

1435
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:31,920
Speaker 1: having that ship on always say weld not being know

1436
01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:36,880
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, you know, I'm just saying like it's

1437
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:43,439
Speaker 1: sweet enough, I'm having the fires everything. Yeah, I mean

1438
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:46,559
Speaker 1: literally like you like, man, I need eleaven with the

1439
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:49,000
Speaker 1: fir collar, you know I say, and just all that

1440
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:52,720
Speaker 1: different types of so materialistic and because I with it

1441
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:55,920
Speaker 1: like where I'm from, but when I went down South,

1442
01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:58,720
Speaker 1: it really did humble me. And so when I met

1443
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,840
Speaker 1: with all, I just got I mean, shit, I'm about

1444
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:03,759
Speaker 1: to graduate from college. I'm like, I want like somebody

1445
01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:07,200
Speaker 1: like I didn't want nobody in the streets or anything

1446
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:09,800
Speaker 1: like that. And so when I met him, it was like, okay, cool,

1447
01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:12,880
Speaker 1: you know he you know, I did not see that

1448
01:12:12,960 --> 01:12:15,120
Speaker 1: we're about to share a future together. And so once

1449
01:12:15,160 --> 01:12:18,479
Speaker 1: I got to know him, we started having it was

1450
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:21,120
Speaker 1: like it was like months of getting to know each

1451
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,360
Speaker 1: other months, you know what I'm saying. And he was

1452
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:27,439
Speaker 1: such a gentleman. He was like he was just first

1453
01:12:27,479 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 1: of all, I didn't listen to rap like that. I'm

1454
01:12:28,920 --> 01:12:31,040
Speaker 1: a real R and B. You know what I'm saying.

1455
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:37,120
Speaker 1: So I mean, listen, you get in the car with me.

1456
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:37,840
Speaker 1: We're going to the club.

1457
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:48,559
Speaker 3: Were like listen, and so I didn't know, like you.

1458
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:50,040
Speaker 1: Know, I didn't listen to his music like that. When

1459
01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:52,000
Speaker 1: we started talking, he like looking like you don't know

1460
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:57,920
Speaker 1: who I am. I'm like not, But he was just

1461
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:05,080
Speaker 1: so cool and he was just everybody everybody right, I'm

1462
01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:07,479
Speaker 1: just like But when I started to see his work ethic,

1463
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:10,840
Speaker 1: his morals, his principles, his values, and he started talking

1464
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:14,519
Speaker 1: about his childhood and how instrumental his his grandmother was

1465
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:16,080
Speaker 1: in his life, and he was like, man, I have

1466
01:13:16,120 --> 01:13:17,519
Speaker 1: to be in by the street.

1467
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:19,639
Speaker 3: Like me too.

1468
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:23,280
Speaker 1: Was raised like and I Just as we started to

1469
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:26,000
Speaker 1: connect more and more, I was like, he's the amazing.

1470
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:28,400
Speaker 1: How we would go out to eat ate off, like

1471
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:31,320
Speaker 1: somebody'd be like, you know, I'm hungry, and like they

1472
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:33,000
Speaker 1: can I have y'all left over? So he'd be like,

1473
01:13:33,240 --> 01:13:35,080
Speaker 1: give me a second. He will go back in and

1474
01:13:35,320 --> 01:13:37,720
Speaker 1: for them a whole meal and give him some money

1475
01:13:37,720 --> 01:13:39,080
Speaker 1: and be like I hope this, you know, had this

1476
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:41,840
Speaker 1: for the day and like what he was just so given.

1477
01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:50,240
Speaker 1: I would just be like, are you you When we

1478
01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:52,360
Speaker 1: started again, I was just like, he is like a

1479
01:13:52,439 --> 01:13:56,080
Speaker 1: beautiful person, and he was like, I promise you, I

1480
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:58,400
Speaker 1: don't care if from our good days to our bad

1481
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:02,760
Speaker 1: days consistently. I would be like, I'm irritating with you

1482
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 1: right now. And you got a good ass heart and

1483
01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:10,719
Speaker 1: I can't deny that. And I don't think that anything

1484
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:12,960
Speaker 1: that you do is intentionally to hurt me, you know

1485
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:15,880
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Whatever, And I just always held that

1486
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 1: and he was just a beautiful, very beautiful person, and

1487
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:22,479
Speaker 1: I'm just thankful that I experienced him. So how is

1488
01:14:22,560 --> 01:14:23,600
Speaker 1: like your parenting?

1489
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:27,479
Speaker 2: Like has it had to change a little bit since everything?

1490
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:31,840
Speaker 1: I just got to be more and intentional about like

1491
01:14:31,920 --> 01:14:34,000
Speaker 1: paying attention, you know what I'm saying, because like my

1492
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 1: son lately, I'm just so mad. I'm mad. I'm mad,

1493
01:14:37,400 --> 01:14:40,599
Speaker 1: And he'll say the things that he's mad, and I'm like, oh,

1494
01:14:41,080 --> 01:14:45,360
Speaker 1: he's like he's he has the anger that or madness.

1495
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:47,519
Speaker 1: Like long time ago, he said I'm mad because the

1496
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:50,320
Speaker 1: people took my dad. And when he said that, this

1497
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:53,680
Speaker 1: was probably like months ago, maybe even it's months ago

1498
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:56,840
Speaker 1: at this point. And when he said that, I have

1499
01:14:57,400 --> 01:15:01,439
Speaker 1: noticed that he's building on that, like that mad is

1500
01:15:01,479 --> 01:15:05,760
Speaker 1: the foundation of all other mads. Now he doesn't think

1501
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:08,240
Speaker 1: that it's that mad. Now he thinks it's mad because

1502
01:15:08,280 --> 01:15:10,280
Speaker 1: they told me. No, it's mad because you said no.

1503
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:16,360
Speaker 1: But my son, before this happened, you could say like no,

1504
01:15:16,479 --> 01:15:20,840
Speaker 1: he he was, he was, And I don't want to

1505
01:15:20,920 --> 01:15:24,040
Speaker 1: change his DNA, like he is a he's a beautiful person.

1506
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:27,880
Speaker 1: He is like I be like all of like it's

1507
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:31,479
Speaker 1: like a reincarnated person, like you are so much like

1508
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:33,920
Speaker 1: your dad. And he's so beautiful and he's so hurt.

1509
01:15:34,400 --> 01:15:37,360
Speaker 1: He's so hurt, and so I try to be creative,

1510
01:15:37,479 --> 01:15:40,519
Speaker 1: like how can I how can I breathe life into him?

1511
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:43,720
Speaker 1: Like how can I give him strength? Like you know,

1512
01:15:44,760 --> 01:15:50,400
Speaker 1: Deon Sanders access to come down to Saw for tunnel reveal,

1513
01:15:51,200 --> 01:15:53,280
Speaker 1: and you know, I was like, this is great, Like

1514
01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:55,439
Speaker 1: it's the pr eternal, Like he can be able to

1515
01:15:55,479 --> 01:15:58,880
Speaker 1: see like from the company that his daddy created and

1516
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:02,439
Speaker 1: breathe like into so like the legacy that he lives

1517
01:16:02,479 --> 01:16:04,760
Speaker 1: behind as the person that he was, and see how

1518
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:08,320
Speaker 1: people regarded and respected and all that type of stuff.

1519
01:16:08,320 --> 01:16:10,880
Speaker 1: In terms of like this is your dad. My son

1520
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:14,760
Speaker 1: was so proud. He was so proud, Like it was like,

1521
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 1: you know, he needs those moments to feel like this

1522
01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,920
Speaker 1: is your dad, you know what I'm saying. And this

1523
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:22,960
Speaker 1: is like this is what you're walking into. Like when

1524
01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:25,960
Speaker 1: people see you, like they're like, oh this like they

1525
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:31,640
Speaker 1: you already like this is like this yeah, you like

1526
01:16:32,479 --> 01:16:38,680
Speaker 1: he already respected. Your daddy is so respected and so

1527
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:42,280
Speaker 1: straight up and so solid and and all of those

1528
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:45,320
Speaker 1: things like he you were. You have inherited a gift

1529
01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:48,280
Speaker 1: that a lot of people. I mean, it's beyond money,

1530
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:50,240
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And so it's beyond that

1531
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:56,960
Speaker 1: because it'd be something it's not.

1532
01:16:59,040 --> 01:17:01,439
Speaker 2: But I mean I love that because the fact of

1533
01:17:01,439 --> 01:17:03,360
Speaker 2: the matter is, you know, now we have to start,

1534
01:17:03,439 --> 01:17:05,960
Speaker 2: you know, like the healing journey for your kids as well.

1535
01:17:06,439 --> 01:17:09,320
Speaker 2: So the fact that part of his healing journey probably

1536
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:12,080
Speaker 2: is being around people who knew his dad, you know,

1537
01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:16,240
Speaker 2: outside of mommy, you know, outside of loving him, outside

1538
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:19,360
Speaker 2: of family, so he can see men, other black men

1539
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:22,520
Speaker 2: that had celebrating his dad, celebrating him.

1540
01:17:22,439 --> 01:17:25,040
Speaker 1: And respecting him so much. Like I said, he was

1541
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:28,680
Speaker 1: so respected. And your son and your daughter are going

1542
01:17:28,760 --> 01:17:31,640
Speaker 1: to grow up knowing like y'all had one of the

1543
01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:34,639
Speaker 1: realist niggas in the gag. And so when it's when

1544
01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:37,439
Speaker 1: I tell them, okay, come on, let's let's define a

1545
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:40,719
Speaker 1: real I'm not gonna say a real nigga. Let's define

1546
01:17:40,760 --> 01:17:45,200
Speaker 1: a real nigga lack of better term, They're gonna have

1547
01:17:45,240 --> 01:17:48,599
Speaker 1: their dad in mind. My daughter knows what it means

1548
01:17:48,600 --> 01:17:50,880
Speaker 1: like you don't said to be loved like she she

1549
01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:53,080
Speaker 1: knows what that looks like. She knows what a woman

1550
01:17:53,120 --> 01:17:55,720
Speaker 1: should be like treated like. She was four years old

1551
01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:58,120
Speaker 1: when he passed. But when she speaks to him, she

1552
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:00,679
Speaker 1: was like, oh, my daddy, he was, he was, he

1553
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:02,479
Speaker 1: loved me. He just will come in like, hey, my

1554
01:18:02,600 --> 01:18:06,759
Speaker 1: chocolate baby. Yeah. She would say so many different things

1555
01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:08,760
Speaker 1: like what she holds on to him, And I just

1556
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:13,080
Speaker 1: be like, listen, you gotta hold onto every everything. For me,

1557
01:18:13,160 --> 01:18:16,519
Speaker 1: it's important that I continue to remind them and have

1558
01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:18,719
Speaker 1: them to reflect on what are some of them things

1559
01:18:18,720 --> 01:18:21,000
Speaker 1: that he poured into you, you know, like what some

1560
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:23,720
Speaker 1: of the meaningful things. And he said, let's drop them down,

1561
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:25,639
Speaker 1: let's brow a picture of it, because I want them

1562
01:18:25,640 --> 01:18:27,280
Speaker 1: to hold on to it. Because they four and they

1563
01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:29,680
Speaker 1: were like four and seven when it happened. You know,

1564
01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:31,519
Speaker 1: a lifetime to live a whole lot, you know what

1565
01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And I don't want that to become a

1566
01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:35,800
Speaker 1: faint memory, right because I say, I don't have no

1567
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:38,360
Speaker 1: memories of my dad. Yeah, when you're like really young,

1568
01:18:38,479 --> 01:18:40,240
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, you don't hold a lot

1569
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:42,800
Speaker 1: of memories from my sister a little bit.

1570
01:18:42,840 --> 01:18:46,840
Speaker 2: But like I said, my sister was five or six

1571
01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,080
Speaker 2: on my dad passed and you were and I was like, yeah,

1572
01:18:49,120 --> 01:18:51,280
Speaker 2: two going on three. So I feel like for me

1573
01:18:52,040 --> 01:18:55,439
Speaker 2: and like we said, growing up during that time is

1574
01:18:55,479 --> 01:18:56,360
Speaker 2: different from this time.

1575
01:18:56,439 --> 01:18:59,240
Speaker 1: So my mom she couldn't talk about it. It was

1576
01:18:59,320 --> 01:19:01,240
Speaker 1: it was a strug for her. So when I would

1577
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:04,000
Speaker 1: ask her questions, she would feel uncomfortable and want to

1578
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:05,320
Speaker 1: walk away because she had to cry.

1579
01:19:05,439 --> 01:19:09,360
Speaker 2: You know, she didn't understand how to tell, oh, this

1580
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:11,760
Speaker 2: is what daddy did, this is how daddy felt about you.

1581
01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:13,840
Speaker 1: And you know, it wasn't until I was older she

1582
01:19:13,880 --> 01:19:15,760
Speaker 1: told me, oh, your dad couldn't go to sleep without

1583
01:19:15,800 --> 01:19:18,439
Speaker 1: you sleeping on his chest. That's why you sleep bad. Now.

1584
01:19:18,840 --> 01:19:21,640
Speaker 1: I sleep terrible till this day because she used to

1585
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:23,280
Speaker 1: tell but she didn't tell me that until I was

1586
01:19:23,320 --> 01:19:27,080
Speaker 1: like sixteen or seventeen. By then, my problem wasn't already developed.

1587
01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:28,760
Speaker 1: You know, I already got issues going on.

1588
01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:32,080
Speaker 2: But I'm glad that you're making his memory and his

1589
01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:36,280
Speaker 2: presence known, because people forget, especially when you're a child,

1590
01:19:36,400 --> 01:19:38,760
Speaker 2: like I was a bad I didn't know nothing. So

1591
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:40,880
Speaker 2: I feel like, and I'm not even gonna lie, like,

1592
01:19:40,880 --> 01:19:44,080
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I have daddy issues, but maybe

1593
01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:48,000
Speaker 2: some of my issues with like abandonment issues, like I

1594
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:50,519
Speaker 2: feel like people are always gonna leave and I'll just

1595
01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:54,679
Speaker 2: be scared and these things like that is because because of.

1596
01:19:54,800 --> 01:19:58,400
Speaker 1: Me losing my dad and not having my mom tell me, oh,

1597
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:01,280
Speaker 1: you know, this is how he felt. I never knew

1598
01:20:01,320 --> 01:20:03,720
Speaker 1: how my dad felt about me. I didn't know, you

1599
01:20:03,760 --> 01:20:08,120
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I like, so, how has

1600
01:20:08,240 --> 01:20:10,080
Speaker 1: been Cause I know you say you were working with

1601
01:20:10,160 --> 01:20:13,160
Speaker 1: like a spiritual advisor at one point. How do you

1602
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:15,320
Speaker 1: feel like that helped you navigate through all of these

1603
01:20:15,320 --> 01:20:17,360
Speaker 1: because that's something that I've been kind of thinking about,

1604
01:20:17,560 --> 01:20:20,080
Speaker 1: Like I've tried therapy, but I haven't tried working with

1605
01:20:20,160 --> 01:20:22,360
Speaker 1: like a spiritual When I say spiritual verse, I ain't

1606
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:25,320
Speaker 1: talking about nobody that's being like okay, you use your cars.

1607
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:31,280
Speaker 1: Somebody that's literally like like encouraging me. It's almost like

1608
01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:34,400
Speaker 1: like encouraging me to read my Bible, like going over

1609
01:20:34,439 --> 01:20:38,120
Speaker 1: different like scriptures or praying together. Like she literally would

1610
01:20:38,120 --> 01:20:41,360
Speaker 1: call me in the morning like okay. Because she was

1611
01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:43,400
Speaker 1: like a gamut of things right. She was like a

1612
01:20:43,439 --> 01:20:46,960
Speaker 1: life coach slash like she had a very strong faith.

1613
01:20:47,320 --> 01:20:48,880
Speaker 1: So I would tell her like, one of my things

1614
01:20:48,880 --> 01:20:50,599
Speaker 1: I want to do is start waking up early. This

1615
01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,799
Speaker 1: was after my brother passed. I want to wake up early,

1616
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:56,160
Speaker 1: and I want to start like really activating my prayer

1617
01:20:56,200 --> 01:20:58,160
Speaker 1: life because I don't be praying like I need to,

1618
01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:01,839
Speaker 1: don't be reading my Bible. I don't read that often.

1619
01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:05,200
Speaker 1: Like That's so she was like I'm gonna call you

1620
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:06,439
Speaker 1: a like what time you want to get up? And

1621
01:21:06,439 --> 01:21:07,679
Speaker 1: I'm like I want to get up like five fifteen.

1622
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:09,559
Speaker 1: I'm call you five fifteen every morning. We're gonna start

1623
01:21:09,560 --> 01:21:11,040
Speaker 1: with a prayer. You know what I'm saying. So she

1624
01:21:11,120 --> 01:21:14,439
Speaker 1: was like my accountability person. She would girl would be

1625
01:21:14,479 --> 01:21:16,439
Speaker 1: on that phone like hanging out to be like my

1626
01:21:16,520 --> 01:21:18,599
Speaker 1: last ate off, not wanting to get out the bed

1627
01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:22,640
Speaker 1: like O, hey, I'm here, I'm like you know, but

1628
01:21:22,880 --> 01:21:24,760
Speaker 1: I will get there. And she was like, Okay, come on,

1629
01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:26,760
Speaker 1: like now you're ready to go to the gym. And

1630
01:21:26,800 --> 01:21:28,760
Speaker 1: so she would be that, and she'll send me a

1631
01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:31,240
Speaker 1: scripture like let's talk about the scripture later. So it

1632
01:21:31,360 --> 01:21:34,240
Speaker 1: was more so like that, like it wasn't to a

1633
01:21:34,280 --> 01:21:37,240
Speaker 1: place like I'm really like slick scared, like the people

1634
01:21:37,280 --> 01:21:40,200
Speaker 1: that like that get into like the different type of

1635
01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:45,160
Speaker 1: practices you know out there, I'd be scared, nervous, you

1636
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:47,919
Speaker 1: know what I feel. I think I know, I definitely

1637
01:21:48,040 --> 01:21:51,040
Speaker 1: be nervous about that. Like I've gotten a reading one

1638
01:21:51,120 --> 01:21:54,479
Speaker 1: time and it was it on point. It was on point,

1639
01:21:54,520 --> 01:21:57,160
Speaker 1: but it was scary because it's like you're not guy,

1640
01:21:57,560 --> 01:21:59,400
Speaker 1: Like it's got a word like who is so who

1641
01:21:59,400 --> 01:22:01,840
Speaker 1: on my plane? Like That's how I felt about it.

1642
01:22:02,160 --> 01:22:06,280
Speaker 2: I think I have had It's so strange because I've

1643
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:09,120
Speaker 2: had like I had a random Uber driver one day

1644
01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:11,519
Speaker 2: I had came back. I think we were coming back.

1645
01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:15,519
Speaker 2: What was our last show before DC? What was our

1646
01:22:15,520 --> 01:22:19,000
Speaker 2: show before that? Yeah, we came maybe it was Chicago.

1647
01:22:19,080 --> 01:22:22,040
Speaker 2: We came back from Chicago. It was so random because

1648
01:22:22,080 --> 01:22:25,479
Speaker 2: the uber driver had some you know, you get five

1649
01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:28,519
Speaker 2: minutes to get to your ear. So she somebody had

1650
01:22:28,520 --> 01:22:30,160
Speaker 2: missed it, and then I had called her.

1651
01:22:30,479 --> 01:22:33,439
Speaker 1: I had five minutes. Literally, I had like ten seconds

1652
01:22:33,520 --> 01:22:34,519
Speaker 1: left to make it to her car.

1653
01:22:34,560 --> 01:22:36,880
Speaker 2: I finally made it to her car. I was like,

1654
01:22:36,920 --> 01:22:38,439
Speaker 2: oh my god, thank you so much. I didn't think

1655
01:22:38,479 --> 01:22:39,920
Speaker 2: I was gonna make it. She was like, ooh girl,

1656
01:22:39,920 --> 01:22:40,760
Speaker 2: I almost left you.

1657
01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:42,880
Speaker 1: She was real cool. It was an older black lady

1658
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:45,360
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, you look nice. I like

1659
01:22:45,439 --> 01:22:47,559
Speaker 1: your love. She was just talking to me and stuff,

1660
01:22:47,960 --> 01:22:49,639
Speaker 1: and so she was like asking me, well, she was like, well,

1661
01:22:49,640 --> 01:22:50,960
Speaker 1: what do you do. I was like, oh, I have

1662
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:54,680
Speaker 1: a podcast. We actually on tour right now, and you know,

1663
01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:56,120
Speaker 1: I was just telling her how we were on tour

1664
01:22:56,160 --> 01:22:58,880
Speaker 1: and how I'm just so thankful, and she was like,

1665
01:22:58,960 --> 01:22:59,880
Speaker 1: you know what's crazy.

1666
01:23:00,040 --> 01:23:02,320
Speaker 2: She was like she was saying how she's a preacher

1667
01:23:02,760 --> 01:23:05,320
Speaker 2: and she'd be going on Facebook and be doing Facebook

1668
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:07,720
Speaker 2: lives and stuff. And I was like, I was like, well,

1669
01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:09,880
Speaker 2: whatever you do, just get your message across. Because I

1670
01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:12,120
Speaker 2: said it when when we started Poor Minds, nobody was

1671
01:23:12,160 --> 01:23:14,600
Speaker 2: listening and you never know who you're gonna touch, and

1672
01:23:14,680 --> 01:23:18,040
Speaker 2: it was so crazy, and she started talking about purpose

1673
01:23:18,520 --> 01:23:20,639
Speaker 2: and she was like, you know what this is how

1674
01:23:20,760 --> 01:23:22,840
Speaker 2: crazy life is. And that's why I was telling the

1675
01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:25,160
Speaker 2: story earlier. She was like, you was meant to be

1676
01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:25,960
Speaker 2: in my card day.

1677
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:29,479
Speaker 1: She was like, because I told myself, I'm gonna give

1678
01:23:29,479 --> 01:23:31,240
Speaker 1: myself off tonight and I'm not gonna wake up in

1679
01:23:31,280 --> 01:23:32,640
Speaker 1: the morning. She was like, I'm gonna wake up in

1680
01:23:32,680 --> 01:23:34,400
Speaker 1: the morning, I'm gonna get on my Facebook and I'm

1681
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,200
Speaker 1: gonna preach to somebody. She was like, cause, you know what,

1682
01:23:36,439 --> 01:23:38,280
Speaker 1: this morning I got on my Facebook live and it

1683
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:39,640
Speaker 1: wasn't a lot of people on there, and I had

1684
01:23:39,720 --> 01:23:42,559
Speaker 1: one person telling me that they needed to hear my message.

1685
01:23:42,920 --> 01:23:44,439
Speaker 2: And she was like, I don't know what it is

1686
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:47,120
Speaker 2: about you and your spirit. She was like, but I

1687
01:23:47,200 --> 01:23:48,680
Speaker 2: just needed to share this with you.

1688
01:23:48,760 --> 01:23:52,519
Speaker 1: So I feel like for me, I found comforting the

1689
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:56,120
Speaker 1: little signs. Yeah, you have to pay attention to the

1690
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:59,200
Speaker 1: small signs. So for some for a long time, I

1691
01:23:59,280 --> 01:24:00,920
Speaker 1: was searching, like who do I need to talk to.

1692
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:02,439
Speaker 1: I need to go to my therapist, I need to

1693
01:24:02,439 --> 01:24:02,760
Speaker 1: go to this.

1694
01:24:03,240 --> 01:24:07,879
Speaker 2: I found comfort and honestly myself, this may sound crazy.

1695
01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:11,320
Speaker 1: When you walk into my house, I have my whole house.

1696
01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:13,719
Speaker 1: I love my I love a little home decor.

1697
01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:16,680
Speaker 2: So I have my little table when you walk in,

1698
01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:18,720
Speaker 2: and my mom's ashes are right there.

1699
01:24:18,880 --> 01:24:23,120
Speaker 1: When I walk in the house, Hey girl, just like

1700
01:24:23,240 --> 01:24:25,120
Speaker 1: she here. I find comfort in that.

1701
01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:28,639
Speaker 2: So I feel like sometimes as people, we always search

1702
01:24:28,680 --> 01:24:30,960
Speaker 2: for somebody that we need to talk to or something

1703
01:24:31,360 --> 01:24:33,599
Speaker 2: you need to find out what is going to heal

1704
01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:36,479
Speaker 2: you and what makes you feel better. You know, I

1705
01:24:36,520 --> 01:24:39,639
Speaker 2: feel better when I'm talking to my mother like she's here.

1706
01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:42,519
Speaker 1: That makes me feel better because she always talks back.

1707
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:44,880
Speaker 1: That's how I feel. So I think a lot of

1708
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:49,320
Speaker 1: times we are searching for outer experiences and outer things

1709
01:24:49,439 --> 01:24:52,439
Speaker 1: when that's not what you need. I talk to God

1710
01:24:53,040 --> 01:24:54,080
Speaker 1: and I talk to my mom.

1711
01:24:54,479 --> 01:24:56,800
Speaker 2: You don't need no middleman or no middle person to

1712
01:24:56,840 --> 01:25:00,000
Speaker 2: do that, because they're gonna they're You're gonna receive that mes.

1713
01:25:00,880 --> 01:25:03,840
Speaker 2: You were the most important person in his life. Whatever

1714
01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:06,120
Speaker 2: you gotta say to you and things is so you

1715
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:07,840
Speaker 2: are his angel.

1716
01:25:07,880 --> 01:25:12,920
Speaker 1: His baby girl. Whatever to you, That's what I'm saying.

1717
01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:16,240
Speaker 2: He's gonna that message is going to come to you.

1718
01:25:16,280 --> 01:25:18,240
Speaker 1: And I don't look. I love my sister down, but

1719
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:19,479
Speaker 1: I know it was my mama's face.

1720
01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:24,160
Speaker 2: But no, I feel like whatever, and like I said, whatever,

1721
01:25:24,200 --> 01:25:25,360
Speaker 2: my mom got to say to me.

1722
01:25:25,680 --> 01:25:29,880
Speaker 1: Maybe you know my mom, she don't let me know.

1723
01:25:30,120 --> 01:25:32,040
Speaker 1: So I feel like a lot of times in your

1724
01:25:32,120 --> 01:25:36,840
Speaker 1: healing journey, look within him, look with it. I don't

1725
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:39,800
Speaker 1: care what nobody else, like got to say about it,

1726
01:25:39,840 --> 01:25:42,439
Speaker 1: how nobody else want to judge it. Because people got

1727
01:25:42,479 --> 01:25:45,160
Speaker 1: all the answers. Yes, people got all the answers, but

1728
01:25:45,200 --> 01:25:47,559
Speaker 1: it's like deal with like you got the answers to

1729
01:25:48,040 --> 01:25:53,400
Speaker 1: and rely on you more than the people because you

1730
01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:59,120
Speaker 1: you equipped. You know what I'm saying, like, and especially

1731
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:01,479
Speaker 1: if you're connected, and especially if that's something that you're

1732
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:03,599
Speaker 1: in search of, you know what I'm saying, what you're

1733
01:26:03,640 --> 01:26:06,280
Speaker 1: in search of? Like you really do fine, Like you

1734
01:26:06,280 --> 01:26:08,240
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You look and you will find

1735
01:26:08,280 --> 01:26:12,240
Speaker 1: and find it every time. And when you don't want

1736
01:26:12,320 --> 01:26:16,320
Speaker 1: answers and when you want confirmation and all these different things,

1737
01:26:16,360 --> 01:26:19,160
Speaker 1: they come, the signs come. And I know me, I've

1738
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:22,240
Speaker 1: experienced all of the signs. I mean I literally experienced

1739
01:26:22,240 --> 01:26:24,439
Speaker 1: signs to the point to where certain things like should

1740
01:26:24,439 --> 01:26:26,920
Speaker 1: I do this, should I do that? It became it

1741
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:30,479
Speaker 1: was like birds knocking on my door, like like every

1742
01:26:30,479 --> 01:26:35,840
Speaker 1: single morning, like happened physically and then again went from

1743
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:38,080
Speaker 1: one bird to two and it got to the point

1744
01:26:38,080 --> 01:26:44,160
Speaker 1: today they would come like clockwork, like clockwork, and that

1745
01:26:44,160 --> 01:26:46,280
Speaker 1: that signing itself. I was like, oh, so this must

1746
01:26:46,280 --> 01:26:51,840
Speaker 1: be my brother hello. But if people like, oh, like

1747
01:26:51,880 --> 01:26:53,559
Speaker 1: you know, maybe they see their shadow. I was like,

1748
01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:55,400
Speaker 1: look for both of them to sea shadow.

1749
01:26:55,120 --> 01:26:59,840
Speaker 2: And everybody, I say, you have to pay attention to this.

1750
01:27:00,479 --> 01:27:04,200
Speaker 2: Like I'm a strong believer now, you know. Sometimes you

1751
01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:06,479
Speaker 2: gotta go through things. And when people would say things

1752
01:27:06,560 --> 01:27:08,800
Speaker 2: like oh this that, I would be like, Okay, you're

1753
01:27:08,840 --> 01:27:11,840
Speaker 2: a weirdough you know, but now going through is to.

1754
01:27:11,840 --> 01:27:14,240
Speaker 1: Think that too. But then it's so crazy because now

1755
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:17,280
Speaker 1: I really feel like I feel my dad's presence around

1756
01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:19,920
Speaker 1: me all the time. And I used to think it

1757
01:27:19,960 --> 01:27:21,800
Speaker 1: was so strange people would say that because I'd be like,

1758
01:27:21,800 --> 01:27:23,479
Speaker 1: how do you feel this person presence? Like what do

1759
01:27:23,520 --> 01:27:28,200
Speaker 1: you mean, girl, it's probably just cold, Yeah, what do

1760
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:31,960
Speaker 1: you talk about? But like, I literally feel his presence

1761
01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:35,599
Speaker 1: around me. Offt sea I do. I'm not gonna lose y'all.

1762
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:37,720
Speaker 1: I done got so bad with my mom. Like me,

1763
01:27:38,400 --> 01:27:40,479
Speaker 1: I was like, girl, don't you got somebody else to

1764
01:27:40,479 --> 01:27:43,439
Speaker 1: watch yo? See Jackson, go see my sister something like,

1765
01:27:44,080 --> 01:27:45,840
Speaker 1: But I mean but I did.

1766
01:27:46,040 --> 01:27:48,320
Speaker 2: My friend like she's into all that stuff, but she

1767
01:27:48,439 --> 01:27:50,479
Speaker 2: was saying, the reason your mom visits you all the

1768
01:27:50,479 --> 01:27:53,639
Speaker 2: times because you talk to her and by her presence.

1769
01:27:53,840 --> 01:27:57,719
Speaker 2: I girl, I talk to her all the time.

1770
01:27:57,920 --> 01:28:02,400
Speaker 1: So I think that's important of the healing journey, you know, like,

1771
01:28:02,479 --> 01:28:04,679
Speaker 1: don't be afraid of that other side.

1772
01:28:06,040 --> 01:28:08,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, none of us know what happens, but you know,

1773
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:10,320
Speaker 2: we know that we are loved by our ones that

1774
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:13,280
Speaker 2: have passed on. So I feel like one thing about

1775
01:28:13,320 --> 01:28:17,559
Speaker 2: the healing journey for me is just acceptance, accepting that

1776
01:28:17,600 --> 01:28:22,719
Speaker 2: they're gone, and developing a new relationship with their spirit.

1777
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:24,760
Speaker 1: That's very important.

1778
01:28:24,920 --> 01:28:34,880
Speaker 7: You know, my life is totally different, I mean because

1779
01:28:34,920 --> 01:28:36,400
Speaker 7: like I said, you can't change it.

1780
01:28:36,439 --> 01:28:40,240
Speaker 1: So you have my best friend and I ain't. Like

1781
01:28:40,280 --> 01:28:42,519
Speaker 1: we had a photo shoot the day my mom passed,

1782
01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:45,640
Speaker 1: and it was crazy because I knew it. I called, well,

1783
01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:48,479
Speaker 1: you always have said like you always say all the time,

1784
01:28:48,479 --> 01:28:50,840
Speaker 1: which I think is so crazy obviously just because I

1785
01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:54,400
Speaker 1: went through it before you. But you always be like, oh, Dre,

1786
01:28:54,640 --> 01:28:58,400
Speaker 1: you're so strong, like you're such a strong person, but like, no, friend,

1787
01:28:58,479 --> 01:29:03,639
Speaker 1: you're really a strong person, but you have like do nothing.

1788
01:29:03,760 --> 01:29:08,439
Speaker 1: My mom my sister baby me, but like you you've

1789
01:29:08,439 --> 01:29:11,360
Speaker 1: been going through it with it and you've been doing

1790
01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:13,880
Speaker 1: an amazing job. And it was like the day of

1791
01:29:14,120 --> 01:29:17,040
Speaker 1: and it's you know, I called, I called you.

1792
01:29:17,120 --> 01:29:19,679
Speaker 2: I was like, my mom not answering the phone, I said,

1793
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:21,960
Speaker 2: something is weird. You're like, oh, maybe she walked to

1794
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:23,679
Speaker 2: the mailbox and maybe she went to the store.

1795
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:26,479
Speaker 1: And I was like, you're right, maybe she did. My

1796
01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:29,120
Speaker 1: mom was telling me listen to dre but my heart

1797
01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:33,559
Speaker 1: was like, girl, no, I just knew, you know, you

1798
01:29:33,680 --> 01:29:35,719
Speaker 1: just know you know, and I just knew.

1799
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:38,920
Speaker 2: And it was like at that moment, I think that

1800
01:29:39,120 --> 01:29:41,040
Speaker 2: the first I'm not gonna lie, Like the first week

1801
01:29:41,080 --> 01:29:43,920
Speaker 2: of my I really can't remember a lot because I

1802
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,439
Speaker 2: was out of it and I wasn't I didn't drink

1803
01:29:46,520 --> 01:29:48,240
Speaker 2: for three.

1804
01:29:48,000 --> 01:29:50,639
Speaker 1: Months after my mom passed. I didn't drink at all neither.

1805
01:29:50,800 --> 01:29:53,280
Speaker 2: I don't remember a lot from the first two weeks

1806
01:29:53,280 --> 01:29:54,960
Speaker 2: and my mom passed because everything was a blur.

1807
01:29:55,280 --> 01:30:04,320
Speaker 1: Ya I was. It was love y'all. I was fucking

1808
01:30:04,479 --> 01:30:06,519
Speaker 1: up like that was the only way I knew how

1809
01:30:06,560 --> 01:30:08,800
Speaker 1: to cope with it in the beginning, to the point

1810
01:30:08,840 --> 01:30:10,640
Speaker 1: that I felt like I was drinking so much that

1811
01:30:10,720 --> 01:30:13,080
Speaker 1: I had to literally like tell myself, I'm not gonna

1812
01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:16,200
Speaker 1: drink for like forty days. Yeah, And I stopped drinking

1813
01:30:16,479 --> 01:30:18,920
Speaker 1: for a long time, like well not a long time,

1814
01:30:18,960 --> 01:30:21,760
Speaker 1: but for forty days because I wanted to do it

1815
01:30:21,800 --> 01:30:23,519
Speaker 1: for Len And I was like, I'm not gonna drink

1816
01:30:23,560 --> 01:30:26,400
Speaker 1: for forty days. I just have to do this for myself.

1817
01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:28,880
Speaker 1: But literally, when my dad passed away, I was getting

1818
01:30:28,880 --> 01:30:31,320
Speaker 1: so with thug all the time because that was the

1819
01:30:31,360 --> 01:30:34,320
Speaker 1: only time I felt like I didn't like feel it

1820
01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:37,559
Speaker 1: for really, I'm not really feel it though I felt

1821
01:30:37,560 --> 01:30:40,320
Speaker 1: like it was making me feel that way, like in

1822
01:30:40,400 --> 01:30:42,519
Speaker 1: the moment, Yeah, I'm not really feeling it, like I'm

1823
01:30:42,800 --> 01:30:44,960
Speaker 1: doing so many other things like I'm having sown. You

1824
01:30:45,120 --> 01:30:47,080
Speaker 1: got by yourself, for got sober? Did you did it

1825
01:30:47,160 --> 01:30:49,200
Speaker 1: crash down on you or anything? Or no, it was

1826
01:30:49,240 --> 01:30:51,320
Speaker 1: cool you kept going. Now it was crash down on

1827
01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:53,840
Speaker 1: me because I remember literally the night my dad the

1828
01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:55,960
Speaker 1: same day my dad passed away, we had to go

1829
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:58,320
Speaker 1: do the show. We had to record the show, and

1830
01:30:58,360 --> 01:31:00,920
Speaker 1: then my one of my other friends, she came over.

1831
01:31:01,400 --> 01:31:05,040
Speaker 1: We ended up going out, got drunk, smoke hookah. Literally,

1832
01:31:05,160 --> 01:31:07,439
Speaker 1: I came back to my house. We was like in

1833
01:31:07,479 --> 01:31:09,040
Speaker 1: the middle of the street. I was crying. I still

1834
01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,360
Speaker 1: in the middle of the street. It was just like

1835
01:31:10,400 --> 01:31:12,599
Speaker 1: in the middle street crying and she was like, girl,

1836
01:31:12,640 --> 01:31:14,880
Speaker 1: you need to get up. Like somebody gonna work a

1837
01:31:14,960 --> 01:31:17,160
Speaker 1: break down. On my birthday too, I had like a

1838
01:31:17,200 --> 01:31:19,920
Speaker 1: mental breakdown in the middle of the street. Yeah, it was.

1839
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,200
Speaker 1: It was a crazy time that right there. And I

1840
01:31:22,240 --> 01:31:24,000
Speaker 1: think that that right there is one of the things

1841
01:31:24,000 --> 01:31:26,120
Speaker 1: that I think people should just pay attention to it.

1842
01:31:26,320 --> 01:31:29,560
Speaker 1: I think we'd be looking for things for coping mechan

1843
01:31:29,640 --> 01:31:31,920
Speaker 1: looking for a fixer, but it don't always it's not

1844
01:31:32,040 --> 01:31:34,799
Speaker 1: a fixer. Nothing's gonna be I was very much drunk,

1845
01:31:34,840 --> 01:31:37,280
Speaker 1: and I very much still had a breakdown. Yeah, so

1846
01:31:37,360 --> 01:31:40,040
Speaker 1: you didn't drink either like I did. Yeah, long, I

1847
01:31:40,080 --> 01:31:42,280
Speaker 1: don't think I started to. I don't think I took

1848
01:31:42,360 --> 01:31:46,360
Speaker 1: a drink until, like I'm gonna say, it was probably

1849
01:31:46,400 --> 01:31:49,519
Speaker 1: like February I had my first drink, m or whatever,

1850
01:31:49,560 --> 01:31:51,719
Speaker 1: my first drink, and that was like it was probably

1851
01:31:51,760 --> 01:31:54,639
Speaker 1: like it took a long time before I got drunk,

1852
01:31:55,720 --> 01:31:58,280
Speaker 1: just like it'd probably just be something like okay, my girl,

1853
01:31:58,320 --> 01:31:59,880
Speaker 1: like you know, let's just go get a little drink

1854
01:31:59,880 --> 01:32:03,519
Speaker 1: and like whatever. But I was scared because I really

1855
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:06,720
Speaker 1: didn't know like how you were going to react. Yeah,

1856
01:32:06,760 --> 01:32:08,960
Speaker 1: because I knew that, Like I mean, I knew. I

1857
01:32:09,040 --> 01:32:11,479
Speaker 1: was like super super hurt. And I think that I was, like,

1858
01:32:11,840 --> 01:32:14,040
Speaker 1: you know, one of the things I know with my losses,

1859
01:32:14,120 --> 01:32:16,920
Speaker 1: like when my brother passed, the media tried to like

1860
01:32:16,960 --> 01:32:20,200
Speaker 1: the news, just the news. This was just regular you know,

1861
01:32:20,400 --> 01:32:23,040
Speaker 1: local news. But you were like in that area, like

1862
01:32:23,160 --> 01:32:25,640
Speaker 1: people knew, y'all. Well, no, it wasn't even that, like

1863
01:32:25,680 --> 01:32:27,880
Speaker 1: they didn't. It wasn't even that part of it. It

1864
01:32:27,920 --> 01:32:30,519
Speaker 1: was that they wanted to report like a drug deal

1865
01:32:30,680 --> 01:32:33,680
Speaker 1: or they didn't even say a drug deal, a transaction

1866
01:32:33,800 --> 01:32:36,000
Speaker 1: gone bad. And I'm like, oh, hell no, you not.

1867
01:32:36,080 --> 01:32:38,920
Speaker 1: Like I'm a fighter at heart, so it's like you're

1868
01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:40,559
Speaker 1: not about to try to paint this picture like my

1869
01:32:40,600 --> 01:32:43,160
Speaker 1: brother was on some bull you know what I'm saying,

1870
01:32:43,200 --> 01:32:45,559
Speaker 1: like it was a drug deal gone bad. And so

1871
01:32:45,640 --> 01:32:48,720
Speaker 1: I went into like I'm about to set the record straight.

1872
01:32:48,920 --> 01:32:51,479
Speaker 1: No he was not. He was a man of God,

1873
01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:53,360
Speaker 1: like I wanted to shret the record straight. So I

1874
01:32:53,400 --> 01:32:57,120
Speaker 1: had experienced feeling like you were not about to try

1875
01:32:57,160 --> 01:33:00,680
Speaker 1: to blemish his name facts period, not about to do that.

1876
01:33:00,760 --> 01:33:04,400
Speaker 1: Not on my watch. So when Adolph passed and because

1877
01:33:04,439 --> 01:33:08,200
Speaker 1: of Black Men Deserve starting like before he passed and

1878
01:33:08,240 --> 01:33:11,599
Speaker 1: everything like that, it was like, you know, with certain things,

1879
01:33:11,600 --> 01:33:15,320
Speaker 1: it's like I'm gonna make sure you're not about to

1880
01:33:15,360 --> 01:33:17,439
Speaker 1: try to paint him out to be nothing more than

1881
01:33:17,439 --> 01:33:21,240
Speaker 1: what he is, what he was like, nothing more and

1882
01:33:21,280 --> 01:33:23,439
Speaker 1: not that I really wanted to be involved with because

1883
01:33:23,479 --> 01:33:26,160
Speaker 1: Black Men Deserve had already been started, and it's like,

1884
01:33:26,160 --> 01:33:27,519
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you don't know for

1885
01:33:27,560 --> 01:33:29,880
Speaker 1: a fact, this black man deserves to grow, Oh, his

1886
01:33:30,080 --> 01:33:33,000
Speaker 1: children deserve, I deserve to still have him here today.

1887
01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:36,360
Speaker 1: So it was like this fighter in me that happened,

1888
01:33:36,479 --> 01:33:40,000
Speaker 1: and it was everything was just going so fast and

1889
01:33:40,080 --> 01:33:43,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't active like that, like I was grieving, but

1890
01:33:43,160 --> 01:33:45,240
Speaker 1: I just it was like I didn't want anything, like

1891
01:33:45,280 --> 01:33:47,160
Speaker 1: I didn't I barely ate a lot, you know what

1892
01:33:47,200 --> 01:33:50,320
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like it was a lot like ye like,

1893
01:33:50,360 --> 01:33:52,160
Speaker 1: and it is a blur for me, like you said too,

1894
01:33:52,240 --> 01:33:54,479
Speaker 1: like a lot of things is like a blur. And

1895
01:33:54,520 --> 01:33:56,439
Speaker 1: it was just like I was not operating. I have

1896
01:33:56,560 --> 01:33:59,400
Speaker 1: people in place, like because I had put that campaign together,

1897
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:02,439
Speaker 1: I had started putting people like this is very meaningful

1898
01:34:02,479 --> 01:34:05,680
Speaker 1: to me. It was just that I made provisions unknowing

1899
01:34:05,800 --> 01:34:08,800
Speaker 1: that like what was going to follow. Did you feel

1900
01:34:08,800 --> 01:34:11,240
Speaker 1: pressure to say something because I know, like I mean,

1901
01:34:11,280 --> 01:34:13,599
Speaker 1: I didn't know you at the time, but I remember

1902
01:34:13,640 --> 01:34:15,920
Speaker 1: when it happened. I went straight to your page, like,

1903
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:18,080
Speaker 1: oh my god, I did not. I think I was

1904
01:34:18,120 --> 01:34:21,200
Speaker 1: in a day like I was like, this is the

1905
01:34:21,280 --> 01:34:23,240
Speaker 1: thing was that I didn't believe, Like it was like

1906
01:34:23,280 --> 01:34:25,519
Speaker 1: a part of me was like in such denial, like

1907
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:28,840
Speaker 1: but it was just like I didn't feel like it

1908
01:34:28,880 --> 01:34:31,599
Speaker 1: was true, Like I didn't feel like it was true,

1909
01:34:32,200 --> 01:34:34,960
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what the truth was, and I

1910
01:34:34,960 --> 01:34:37,040
Speaker 1: didn't like the people were trying to create a truth

1911
01:34:37,240 --> 01:34:40,120
Speaker 1: right right right? I hate that, Like that's the thing

1912
01:34:40,240 --> 01:34:43,240
Speaker 1: it was that trigger my brother. It was just so

1913
01:34:43,320 --> 01:34:47,840
Speaker 1: much like that, like this I think for like for

1914
01:34:47,880 --> 01:34:50,960
Speaker 1: a while, I was it was a denial period, you

1915
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:53,599
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like I didn't I'm like Adolf

1916
01:34:53,880 --> 01:34:56,439
Speaker 1: one thing I know about him, like he know how

1917
01:34:56,439 --> 01:34:59,320
Speaker 1: to move, Like this ain't true. And it was something

1918
01:34:59,439 --> 01:35:02,240
Speaker 1: in me that did not want to fully accept the truth.

1919
01:35:02,680 --> 01:35:05,720
Speaker 1: And I just was like this is it was a

1920
01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:09,240
Speaker 1: weird period that I can't quite explain like and from

1921
01:35:09,280 --> 01:35:11,280
Speaker 1: that period within the months, like you said, like it

1922
01:35:11,320 --> 01:35:13,639
Speaker 1: was a blur. I don't know how I was really

1923
01:35:13,640 --> 01:35:16,280
Speaker 1: processing things. I don't even I don't know, like I

1924
01:35:16,320 --> 01:35:19,280
Speaker 1: know that, like I had responded on Instagram and I

1925
01:35:19,400 --> 01:35:21,960
Speaker 1: saw I was like, but it was like I think

1926
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:25,639
Speaker 1: that in that moment, I can't really just say where

1927
01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:29,040
Speaker 1: I was mentally because I really it's a blur for me.

1928
01:35:29,479 --> 01:35:31,719
Speaker 1: But I know that I didn't feel like this couldn't

1929
01:35:31,720 --> 01:35:34,040
Speaker 1: this can't be real, Like this is not real life.

1930
01:35:34,439 --> 01:35:35,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wake up tomorrow.

1931
01:35:39,120 --> 01:35:41,200
Speaker 2: I mean, of course, of course you're gonna feel different,

1932
01:35:41,200 --> 01:35:44,720
Speaker 2: but when you won't be up by myself, I was like, girl, shut.

1933
01:35:44,479 --> 01:35:46,360
Speaker 1: The this is not true. This is and you got

1934
01:35:46,360 --> 01:35:48,760
Speaker 1: to think you know that one of the time on

1935
01:35:48,840 --> 01:35:51,479
Speaker 1: Twitter once where they tried to say that he like

1936
01:35:51,520 --> 01:35:53,320
Speaker 1: something happened to him and I called him, I'm like

1937
01:35:53,320 --> 01:35:54,519
Speaker 1: what the He was like maybe I don't know what

1938
01:35:54,520 --> 01:35:58,400
Speaker 1: they're talking about. So you know, it's like for me,

1939
01:35:58,479 --> 01:36:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, this ain't true. This ain't true. Like this

1940
01:36:02,120 --> 01:36:07,160
Speaker 1: is not true, this ain't true. Right, So in that

1941
01:36:07,280 --> 01:36:10,120
Speaker 1: moment of trying to process this isn't true, but kind

1942
01:36:10,120 --> 01:36:12,120
Speaker 1: of in my heart feeling like this could be true.

1943
01:36:12,439 --> 01:36:14,160
Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck I was going through,

1944
01:36:14,200 --> 01:36:17,040
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, and I don't know. I

1945
01:36:17,120 --> 01:36:19,960
Speaker 1: just it's like, really it's hard to explain. You know.

1946
01:36:20,680 --> 01:36:22,960
Speaker 2: Do you feel like though, like you got your business

1947
01:36:22,960 --> 01:36:24,920
Speaker 2: mind for him, Like have you always been kind of

1948
01:36:24,960 --> 01:36:29,040
Speaker 2: business minded or do you feel like, yeah, I.

1949
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:31,879
Speaker 1: Know you said people like the same. We didn't graduate.

1950
01:36:31,920 --> 01:36:36,000
Speaker 1: We definitely graduated from college period, even agreed.

1951
01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:40,519
Speaker 2: So you always had a business mind?

1952
01:36:40,680 --> 01:36:44,559
Speaker 1: Yes, But for sure, I'm he is a boss. Fact,

1953
01:36:44,600 --> 01:36:49,160
Speaker 1: I was like, you're my chocolate boss. He was a boss.

1954
01:36:49,200 --> 01:36:51,240
Speaker 1: And I watched him. It wasn't like he would sit

1955
01:36:51,320 --> 01:36:53,519
Speaker 1: me down like okay, classes and session like no, but

1956
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:58,160
Speaker 1: I watched him. I watched him just transact and be

1957
01:36:58,479 --> 01:37:02,560
Speaker 1: and do and negotiate and you know, just everything, and

1958
01:37:02,680 --> 01:37:04,679
Speaker 1: he would talk to me about different things or whatever.

1959
01:37:04,800 --> 01:37:07,240
Speaker 1: So yeah, like I picked.

1960
01:37:07,000 --> 01:37:09,600
Speaker 2: Up a lot, a lot, and that's important because like

1961
01:37:09,640 --> 01:37:12,759
Speaker 2: I said, I feel like now it's so crazy because

1962
01:37:12,880 --> 01:37:15,519
Speaker 2: I think when people watch poor minds, because we have

1963
01:37:15,600 --> 01:37:17,280
Speaker 2: a thing called bdb's.

1964
01:37:18,880 --> 01:37:20,960
Speaker 1: So it's just like a man who don't take.

1965
01:37:20,840 --> 01:37:23,120
Speaker 2: Care of everything. And but I feel like as I've

1966
01:37:23,120 --> 01:37:25,040
Speaker 2: grown as a woman. Don't get me wrong, you still

1967
01:37:25,040 --> 01:37:26,760
Speaker 2: got to be a BDB. You still got to pay

1968
01:37:26,800 --> 01:37:29,479
Speaker 2: and take care of things. But it's like what else

1969
01:37:31,280 --> 01:37:33,400
Speaker 2: what can I learn from you? Like what can you

1970
01:37:33,600 --> 01:37:34,200
Speaker 2: teach me?

1971
01:37:34,320 --> 01:37:37,120
Speaker 1: So? And I feel like that's so important.

1972
01:37:36,680 --> 01:37:47,640
Speaker 8: Like I had a period, you did, but that's but

1973
01:37:47,720 --> 01:37:49,240
Speaker 8: you know what this is how you know you got

1974
01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:50,000
Speaker 8: a BDB I for.

1975
01:37:50,000 --> 01:37:53,800
Speaker 1: Something like this happens and look at you like he implemed,

1976
01:37:53,840 --> 01:37:58,400
Speaker 1: like you impactful, Like it's everything is on you, Like

1977
01:37:58,720 --> 01:37:59,439
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.

1978
01:37:59,479 --> 01:38:12,840
Speaker 6: Secret, Yeah, So she goes to the bathroom and.

1979
01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:19,439
Speaker 1: Through you.

1980
01:38:20,160 --> 01:38:23,320
Speaker 2: So yeah, I feel like that's what's definitely important because

1981
01:38:23,360 --> 01:38:25,320
Speaker 2: I feel like when we first started this show, it

1982
01:38:25,439 --> 01:38:28,320
Speaker 2: was definitely given, like oh you got the money and

1983
01:38:28,360 --> 01:38:28,920
Speaker 2: that was it.

1984
01:38:29,000 --> 01:38:29,840
Speaker 1: But it's so.

1985
01:38:30,000 --> 01:38:32,519
Speaker 2: Much more than that, you know, like I said, he

1986
01:38:32,600 --> 01:38:34,720
Speaker 2: set you. He really set you up for success, you

1987
01:38:34,800 --> 01:38:36,720
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. And like I said, it's not

1988
01:38:36,800 --> 01:38:41,559
Speaker 2: an opportunity, but you're prepared, you know, like you have

1989
01:38:42,320 --> 01:38:46,840
Speaker 2: taken the steps to prepare you know, yourself for your

1990
01:38:46,880 --> 01:38:50,320
Speaker 2: second chapter of life. Because unfortunately for me, I never

1991
01:38:50,400 --> 01:38:52,960
Speaker 2: thought I had to figure out what life is without

1992
01:38:53,000 --> 01:38:53,599
Speaker 2: my mom.

1993
01:38:54,000 --> 01:38:57,519
Speaker 1: So you got to figure shit out. So but thank

1994
01:38:57,600 --> 01:39:02,040
Speaker 1: god she she didn't exactly prepared me for this, but

1995
01:39:02,640 --> 01:39:07,120
Speaker 1: that you prepared anybody. You're not prepared, but the things

1996
01:39:07,200 --> 01:39:09,880
Speaker 1: that the gems that they left for you, you can

1997
01:39:09,920 --> 01:39:12,479
Speaker 1: make it. That's why, like we built different, all three

1998
01:39:12,520 --> 01:39:15,519
Speaker 1: of us. We're just different, you know what I'm saying.

1999
01:39:16,280 --> 01:39:19,400
Speaker 1: So uh, and I the only thing I'm gonna say

2000
01:39:19,200 --> 01:39:21,840
Speaker 1: I I've probably said in times like I feel like

2001
01:39:21,880 --> 01:39:24,080
Speaker 1: I was being prepared because I think that, like I said,

2002
01:39:24,120 --> 01:39:27,120
Speaker 1: my brother was the precursor to greet right, So that

2003
01:39:27,240 --> 01:39:30,160
Speaker 1: was the thing that broke me completely down right to

2004
01:39:30,200 --> 01:39:32,240
Speaker 1: where I had to like be picked back up and

2005
01:39:32,280 --> 01:39:34,320
Speaker 1: go through therapy and the different types of things. And

2006
01:39:34,400 --> 01:39:37,160
Speaker 1: when this happened, it broke me down again, but it

2007
01:39:37,200 --> 01:39:40,400
Speaker 1: was in a different type of way. And I think

2008
01:39:40,520 --> 01:39:42,519
Speaker 1: that at this point, like I had understood when my

2009
01:39:42,560 --> 01:39:45,479
Speaker 1: brother was my brother, I was like, man, you how

2010
01:39:45,520 --> 01:39:48,200
Speaker 1: to learn how to like still acknowledge a person, you know,

2011
01:39:48,280 --> 01:39:49,760
Speaker 1: beat it, How you ride for your brother, how you're

2012
01:39:49,760 --> 01:39:52,479
Speaker 1: gonna show him even his in his in his death,

2013
01:39:52,600 --> 01:39:54,240
Speaker 1: like that you still got his back, that you're gonna

2014
01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:55,960
Speaker 1: look out for his family. So it was like stuff

2015
01:39:56,000 --> 01:39:59,120
Speaker 1: like that I was talking to myself, and when Adolph passed,

2016
01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:01,880
Speaker 1: it was like it broke me down. And it's like

2017
01:40:02,200 --> 01:40:04,320
Speaker 1: how i'mma still ride for him, Like how i'ma still

2018
01:40:04,320 --> 01:40:06,240
Speaker 1: show him and I'm like the one thing I know

2019
01:40:06,360 --> 01:40:10,600
Speaker 1: for a fact like Adolf cared about the most is

2020
01:40:10,640 --> 01:40:14,719
Speaker 1: like our children, right, our children mean the absolute most

2021
01:40:14,760 --> 01:40:16,280
Speaker 1: to him. And another thing that I know for a

2022
01:40:16,320 --> 01:40:19,800
Speaker 1: fact about Adolf is like both of us admired how

2023
01:40:19,800 --> 01:40:22,280
Speaker 1: we parented our children and the way we loved, Like

2024
01:40:22,400 --> 01:40:24,880
Speaker 1: I loved how he loved our children, and he loved

2025
01:40:24,880 --> 01:40:26,920
Speaker 1: how I took care and loved them. Like it was

2026
01:40:26,960 --> 01:40:29,839
Speaker 1: like like I don't care if the world was crashing

2027
01:40:29,880 --> 01:40:31,439
Speaker 1: down and burning, like you know what I'm saying, that

2028
01:40:31,479 --> 01:40:33,719
Speaker 1: everything was going wrong, but we were like we damn

2029
01:40:33,720 --> 01:40:36,200
Speaker 1: good parents to our trade. We could come together and

2030
01:40:36,240 --> 01:40:39,280
Speaker 1: be on one accord. And so it's like I just

2031
01:40:39,439 --> 01:40:42,800
Speaker 1: like I remember the beginning of everything happening, and I

2032
01:40:42,880 --> 01:40:45,680
Speaker 1: was like, I'm about to cook a meal because he

2033
01:40:45,680 --> 01:40:48,479
Speaker 1: would want me to, like you know, he will really

2034
01:40:48,560 --> 01:40:52,479
Speaker 1: like be so proud that like they're not eating out today, right,

2035
01:40:52,680 --> 01:40:55,479
Speaker 1: because that's not you're not slacking, I'm saying, and that's

2036
01:40:55,520 --> 01:40:57,559
Speaker 1: not he know, like that's not even something like we

2037
01:40:57,600 --> 01:41:01,560
Speaker 1: already talked about and stuff like that. He would appreciate

2038
01:41:01,600 --> 01:41:04,479
Speaker 1: that I cook them a good meal, right, and I

2039
01:41:04,520 --> 01:41:07,360
Speaker 1: need to probably just add that to my thing once

2040
01:41:07,400 --> 01:41:09,400
Speaker 1: I get back into my routine. I'm just cooking the

2041
01:41:09,560 --> 01:41:13,519
Speaker 1: meals because they they would appreciate it. He would be like,

2042
01:41:13,560 --> 01:41:14,880
Speaker 1: he would be like me, I'm so proud of you.

2043
01:41:15,080 --> 01:41:16,840
Speaker 1: I know for a fact, if he could come down

2044
01:41:16,880 --> 01:41:18,880
Speaker 1: and have a conversation, he would be like, how you

2045
01:41:18,960 --> 01:41:21,160
Speaker 1: still showing up for them and being there for them

2046
01:41:21,560 --> 01:41:24,920
Speaker 1: and making sure that they good even despite your own hurt, right,

2047
01:41:25,479 --> 01:41:27,920
Speaker 1: But I'm proud of you. He would be so proud.

2048
01:41:28,479 --> 01:41:31,080
Speaker 1: And the thing is is that he wouldn't expect anybody

2049
01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:34,240
Speaker 1: else to be able, like at that capacity, to be

2050
01:41:34,280 --> 01:41:37,479
Speaker 1: able to do what I'm doing, because it's like he

2051
01:41:37,560 --> 01:41:40,559
Speaker 1: knows that we share this mutual like love and affection

2052
01:41:41,160 --> 01:41:43,800
Speaker 1: for our children, So he would just if he can't

2053
01:41:43,800 --> 01:41:46,160
Speaker 1: do it, like, yeah, you know what I'm saying. I

2054
01:41:46,200 --> 01:41:48,519
Speaker 1: feel you, but they need they need you.

2055
01:41:48,479 --> 01:41:51,720
Speaker 2: Right, And that's why I say it's you, like it's

2056
01:41:51,840 --> 01:41:55,880
Speaker 2: in you, It's built in you, Like nobody else could

2057
01:41:55,880 --> 01:41:59,559
Speaker 2: have done this job for him and with his seeds.

2058
01:41:59,600 --> 01:42:01,440
Speaker 1: But you.

2059
01:42:00,000 --> 01:42:05,839
Speaker 2: Oh, you know, it's a like I said, it's a hard.

2060
01:42:05,680 --> 01:42:08,200
Speaker 1: It's a hard thing to talk about because it's like,

2061
01:42:08,240 --> 01:42:11,400
Speaker 1: it's just such an unfortunate situation that I feel like

2062
01:42:11,479 --> 01:42:13,720
Speaker 1: everybody has to go through, you know what I mean,

2063
01:42:13,760 --> 01:42:17,240
Speaker 1: and life just grieving and losing somebody. But I do

2064
01:42:17,320 --> 01:42:20,040
Speaker 1: feel like, yah, like some of us, we be built

2065
01:42:20,040 --> 01:42:22,360
Speaker 1: for it. Though, yeah, we be built for it. And

2066
01:42:22,400 --> 01:42:25,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you last little story. I was looking

2067
01:42:25,760 --> 01:42:27,680
Speaker 1: at my during the time of me like working with

2068
01:42:27,760 --> 01:42:31,760
Speaker 1: life coaches and special coaches in like twenty seventeen, I

2069
01:42:31,800 --> 01:42:34,559
Speaker 1: had wrote down like my mission is life and life

2070
01:42:34,640 --> 01:42:37,920
Speaker 1: is to share my experiences to help make light of

2071
01:42:37,960 --> 01:42:41,120
Speaker 1: someone else's right. In short, it was a little longer

2072
01:42:41,120 --> 01:42:44,200
Speaker 1: than that. But when I look and I stand at

2073
01:42:44,200 --> 01:42:47,280
Speaker 1: where I am today, I'm like, it's so many people

2074
01:42:47,280 --> 01:42:50,160
Speaker 1: that's grieving. I mean, I've gotten letters, emails, all type

2075
01:42:50,200 --> 01:42:53,320
Speaker 1: of people like how do you do this? I lost

2076
01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:55,599
Speaker 1: my significant other and I shut myself in the room

2077
01:42:55,600 --> 01:42:58,240
Speaker 1: for three months, like they said, like so many different things,

2078
01:42:58,240 --> 01:43:00,320
Speaker 1: and my heart will go out to them. I don't

2079
01:43:00,360 --> 01:43:02,800
Speaker 1: understand how you're doing it, and I'm like I don't either,

2080
01:43:03,400 --> 01:43:07,920
Speaker 1: but I feel like that me writing that down as

2081
01:43:07,960 --> 01:43:11,360
Speaker 1: a mission in my life. God puts something he planned,

2082
01:43:11,400 --> 01:43:13,200
Speaker 1: the seed so deep inside of me. I don't even

2083
01:43:13,240 --> 01:43:16,320
Speaker 1: know when he did it, how long ago, I don't know.

2084
01:43:17,160 --> 01:43:19,760
Speaker 1: I don't know when it happened, but I can acknowledge

2085
01:43:19,760 --> 01:43:21,720
Speaker 1: that the seed has been planning it and for me

2086
01:43:21,760 --> 01:43:24,680
Speaker 1: to have to like to have rolled that down, inked it,

2087
01:43:24,840 --> 01:43:27,400
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. In twenty seventeen, came back

2088
01:43:27,800 --> 01:43:32,000
Speaker 1: like again and reiterated it. In twenty eighteen, it was

2089
01:43:32,080 --> 01:43:35,439
Speaker 1: just like, I feel like a part of my purpose

2090
01:43:35,520 --> 01:43:40,200
Speaker 1: in life right now is to help people navigate foreign territory,

2091
01:43:40,600 --> 01:43:43,639
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Just be able to share

2092
01:43:43,680 --> 01:43:45,920
Speaker 1: my experience is like, look, I know you've hurt it

2093
01:43:46,000 --> 01:43:49,839
Speaker 1: right now, but don't cut yourself it ain. Life will

2094
01:43:49,960 --> 01:43:52,439
Speaker 1: continue to go one and you will understand new meaning.

2095
01:43:52,520 --> 01:43:56,200
Speaker 1: Right Be there for your children. Don't lock yourself inside

2096
01:43:56,200 --> 01:43:58,559
Speaker 1: your room. They need you. Bring them in, y'all all

2097
01:43:58,560 --> 01:44:01,200
Speaker 1: cuddle up in the bed to get there and reminisce.

2098
01:44:01,280 --> 01:44:03,840
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Cry together, be there for

2099
01:44:04,040 --> 01:44:06,200
Speaker 1: one of like your kids need you because they hurt.

2100
01:44:06,520 --> 01:44:09,520
Speaker 1: Like whatever, I can be able to share my experience

2101
01:44:09,600 --> 01:44:13,040
Speaker 1: that I've had and the several losses that I've experienced,

2102
01:44:13,080 --> 01:44:15,599
Speaker 1: I feel like it's time for me to be vocal.

2103
01:44:15,960 --> 01:44:19,360
Speaker 1: Not so much just because cloud is the last thing.

2104
01:44:20,000 --> 01:44:22,719
Speaker 1: Money is the last thing that's on my agenda that's needed.

2105
01:44:22,800 --> 01:44:25,519
Speaker 1: Like it's that is not even it, and that's it's

2106
01:44:25,600 --> 01:44:27,760
Speaker 1: not even any of those things. It's like it's so

2107
01:44:27,800 --> 01:44:30,280
Speaker 1: many people that's hurting, that are going through things and

2108
01:44:30,360 --> 01:44:37,759
Speaker 1: don't have or any time nobody is really talking about

2109
01:44:37,800 --> 01:44:39,960
Speaker 1: these things. You get what I'm saying, because you're also

2110
01:44:40,200 --> 01:44:43,240
Speaker 1: very honest, like when you be having a bad day

2111
01:44:43,240 --> 01:44:45,840
Speaker 1: and sometimes like you express that on your social media,

2112
01:44:45,960 --> 01:44:46,439
Speaker 1: like I.

2113
01:44:46,360 --> 01:44:49,320
Speaker 2: Feel like a lot of times and I haven't done

2114
01:44:49,320 --> 01:44:53,519
Speaker 2: that because I ain't got that in me yet. You know,

2115
01:44:53,720 --> 01:44:56,800
Speaker 2: like on his birthday, you know, you had penned the

2116
01:44:56,880 --> 01:45:00,360
Speaker 2: letter and it was just so beautiful, you know, and

2117
01:45:00,680 --> 01:45:03,320
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know if I'm married because Drea

2118
01:45:03,479 --> 01:45:07,599
Speaker 2: my mom have the same birthday. Your birthday April twenty second,

2119
01:45:07,800 --> 01:45:09,639
Speaker 2: My mom and Drea share the.

2120
01:45:09,600 --> 01:45:12,080
Speaker 1: Same birthday birthday. You know what's crazy.

2121
01:45:12,240 --> 01:45:13,920
Speaker 2: The thing that's been on my mind is like, how

2122
01:45:13,960 --> 01:45:15,680
Speaker 2: am I going to celebrate the most one of the

2123
01:45:15,720 --> 01:45:17,920
Speaker 2: most important people in my life outside of my sister

2124
01:45:17,960 --> 01:45:21,680
Speaker 2: and my nephew's birthday when that's my mother's birthday, you know,

2125
01:45:22,479 --> 01:45:23,879
Speaker 2: because I'm not there.

2126
01:45:23,720 --> 01:45:24,960
Speaker 1: Yet, I shared.

2127
01:45:25,280 --> 01:45:27,960
Speaker 2: I shared one post whenever my mom passed, and I

2128
01:45:27,960 --> 01:45:30,719
Speaker 2: haven't posted anything about it since. I'll post her pictures

2129
01:45:30,720 --> 01:45:33,600
Speaker 2: on my story and things like that. But this is

2130
01:45:33,640 --> 01:45:35,400
Speaker 2: the first time I've talked about it on the show.

2131
01:45:36,040 --> 01:45:38,439
Speaker 2: I said something whenever she passed. I was like, hey,

2132
01:45:38,479 --> 01:45:40,640
Speaker 2: thank y'all for the sport. Yeah, my mom passed and

2133
01:45:40,680 --> 01:45:41,439
Speaker 2: I closed the show.

2134
01:45:41,760 --> 01:45:44,600
Speaker 1: So this is the first time, like me, actually really

2135
01:45:44,360 --> 01:45:48,679
Speaker 1: really really speaking on it. So that's what I commend

2136
01:45:48,720 --> 01:45:50,840
Speaker 1: you for, Like you're very open with.

2137
01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:53,640
Speaker 2: Your journey and you grieving and you going through it,

2138
01:45:53,680 --> 01:45:55,200
Speaker 2: because you know, a lot of times I feel like

2139
01:45:55,240 --> 01:45:57,360
Speaker 2: people will look at you and be like, damn, she's

2140
01:45:57,360 --> 01:45:58,720
Speaker 2: so strong, she making it, she.

2141
01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:03,000
Speaker 1: Going through But I was like, yeah, like she's still

2142
01:46:03,439 --> 01:46:06,240
Speaker 1: it's an everyday journey for you. That journey, I mean,

2143
01:46:06,320 --> 01:46:08,960
Speaker 1: and I've come to grips to understand. And I think

2144
01:46:09,000 --> 01:46:11,400
Speaker 1: Adolph prepared me, Like people are gonna say all types

2145
01:46:11,439 --> 01:46:13,800
Speaker 1: of shit. People gonna say, oh, how she doing that,

2146
01:46:13,880 --> 01:46:18,679
Speaker 1: she wasn't type of stuff. It's like, I'm so overb

2147
01:46:18,840 --> 01:46:22,640
Speaker 1: people got to say seriously, and I still that transparency

2148
01:46:22,720 --> 01:46:25,320
Speaker 1: and yeah, because I'm like, it's so many more people.

2149
01:46:25,520 --> 01:46:28,160
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's a fraction of people that got some

2150
01:46:28,200 --> 01:46:32,759
Speaker 1: ship to say. That's like you just like down there whatever,

2151
01:46:33,000 --> 01:46:35,559
Speaker 1: But it's this amount of people that need to be touched. Yes,

2152
01:46:35,600 --> 01:46:39,880
Speaker 1: that's that's hurting. That's hurting. That's a little we I mean,

2153
01:46:39,880 --> 01:46:41,679
Speaker 1: come on now, like you look in the black community.

2154
01:46:41,800 --> 01:46:44,280
Speaker 1: If they ain't getting shot, they got cancer, they got something,

2155
01:46:44,280 --> 01:46:47,600
Speaker 1: they got like we losing people left and right from

2156
01:46:47,960 --> 01:46:52,240
Speaker 1: crazy stuff that happening. So people just need some type

2157
01:46:52,240 --> 01:46:54,479
Speaker 1: of help and insight on how to heal from that.

2158
01:46:54,560 --> 01:46:56,360
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. The only thing I can

2159
01:46:56,360 --> 01:46:58,720
Speaker 1: share is my experience, and from my experience, when my

2160
01:46:58,800 --> 01:47:01,760
Speaker 1: dad passed when I was nineteen, I didn't talk about like,

2161
01:47:02,160 --> 01:47:05,120
Speaker 1: I didn't talk about him social media. And when I

2162
01:47:05,160 --> 01:47:08,439
Speaker 1: was nineteen, I was like, what twenty ten, twenty ten

2163
01:47:08,520 --> 01:47:16,040
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be, or so it was.

2164
01:47:16,160 --> 01:47:19,840
Speaker 1: I'll probably it was a year, but I just never

2165
01:47:19,920 --> 01:47:23,240
Speaker 1: acknowledged it. I did follow it away. I just was like,

2166
01:47:23,560 --> 01:47:24,880
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it too much because

2167
01:47:24,880 --> 01:47:27,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to cry, right right, right, And that's

2168
01:47:27,439 --> 01:47:29,679
Speaker 1: how I was. And I think it was the lack

2169
01:47:29,720 --> 01:47:33,160
Speaker 1: of emotional intelligence. And not to say that you lacking

2170
01:47:33,360 --> 01:47:35,400
Speaker 1: or anything, but I think that I didn't know how

2171
01:47:35,439 --> 01:47:39,880
Speaker 1: to deal with grief or anything emotionally related, right, but

2172
01:47:40,000 --> 01:47:42,240
Speaker 1: I just avoided it. And so I think when my

2173
01:47:42,240 --> 01:47:46,120
Speaker 1: brother passed, I was older, I had went to therapist

2174
01:47:46,200 --> 01:47:48,519
Speaker 1: after therapist after therapist. I think that I have gotten

2175
01:47:48,640 --> 01:47:52,840
Speaker 1: much more in tune with my my emotional state and

2176
01:47:52,880 --> 01:47:55,719
Speaker 1: stuff like that I was older. I say that again,

2177
01:47:57,040 --> 01:48:00,559
Speaker 1: I mean you also had children to children, and because

2178
01:48:00,640 --> 01:48:03,320
Speaker 1: I could say and recognize like, oh I'm efed up,

2179
01:48:03,360 --> 01:48:06,679
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like I recognized real off top,

2180
01:48:06,880 --> 01:48:09,080
Speaker 1: like oh I'm efed up. So I need some help.

2181
01:48:09,120 --> 01:48:12,559
Speaker 1: So I sought out help. And so you know, I

2182
01:48:12,640 --> 01:48:15,599
Speaker 1: just say all of that to say, at this particular point,

2183
01:48:15,680 --> 01:48:19,960
Speaker 1: I learned how it's that that expression of love that

2184
01:48:20,040 --> 01:48:23,200
Speaker 1: helps me through you know, I expressed my like you know,

2185
01:48:23,280 --> 01:48:25,599
Speaker 1: through creative expression and stuff like that. How I felt

2186
01:48:25,600 --> 01:48:28,759
Speaker 1: about my brother. That made that made that built my spirit.

2187
01:48:28,840 --> 01:48:30,400
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. That was like something that

2188
01:48:30,479 --> 01:48:32,799
Speaker 1: I needed, like for me to be able to express

2189
01:48:32,880 --> 01:48:36,240
Speaker 1: my love for him. So when Adolph died. That's what

2190
01:48:36,320 --> 01:48:38,920
Speaker 1: I had learned to do, was to express my love,

2191
01:48:39,080 --> 01:48:41,760
Speaker 1: like I can't leave it in. It ain't so I

2192
01:48:41,800 --> 01:48:44,120
Speaker 1: need to express this, you know what I'm saying, Like

2193
01:48:44,840 --> 01:48:46,759
Speaker 1: I just need to express it and let it out

2194
01:48:46,840 --> 01:48:49,880
Speaker 1: and let it, let it continue to just like reach

2195
01:48:49,960 --> 01:48:52,320
Speaker 1: him as it goes out, like it's gonna go up

2196
01:48:52,320 --> 01:48:55,080
Speaker 1: into the sky and like he catches it or something.

2197
01:48:55,240 --> 01:48:57,439
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. And that's what I'm saying.

2198
01:48:57,760 --> 01:49:00,280
Speaker 2: I feel like that's why I feel like my mom

2199
01:49:00,360 --> 01:49:01,519
Speaker 2: comes to me because I talked to her.

2200
01:49:01,560 --> 01:49:03,720
Speaker 1: So you coming out and doing these interviews and.

2201
01:49:03,680 --> 01:49:06,719
Speaker 2: Talking about him like that's what you're supposed to be doing,

2202
01:49:06,840 --> 01:49:09,280
Speaker 2: is like spreading that.

2203
01:49:09,560 --> 01:49:11,080
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to get to a point too, to

2204
01:49:11,120 --> 01:49:12,840
Speaker 1: where I'm more like that, because I do think it

2205
01:49:12,880 --> 01:49:15,840
Speaker 1: has a lot to do with emotional intelligence, because for

2206
01:49:15,880 --> 01:49:17,800
Speaker 1: a long time, I just never wanted to Like I'm

2207
01:49:17,800 --> 01:49:19,280
Speaker 1: the type of person I just don't want to talk

2208
01:49:19,280 --> 01:49:22,240
Speaker 1: about she like I just bodied all up inside and

2209
01:49:22,280 --> 01:49:24,400
Speaker 1: I try to deal with it internally and deal with

2210
01:49:24,439 --> 01:49:25,960
Speaker 1: it how I'm gonna deal with it. But I never

2211
01:49:26,000 --> 01:49:27,960
Speaker 1: want to talk about things because even when my dad

2212
01:49:27,960 --> 01:49:30,800
Speaker 1: passed away, I think my dad had had been going

2213
01:49:30,840 --> 01:49:33,360
Speaker 1: for probably like two months before. I actually like came

2214
01:49:33,400 --> 01:49:36,360
Speaker 1: on the show and said something, made a post about

2215
01:49:36,400 --> 01:49:39,400
Speaker 1: it on social media because I just didn't want to

2216
01:49:39,439 --> 01:49:43,840
Speaker 1: accept the accept the facts, and I just about it.

2217
01:49:43,920 --> 01:49:49,320
Speaker 1: You have to accept it and recognize is a spirit. Now,

2218
01:49:49,400 --> 01:49:51,439
Speaker 1: you know it's crazy because y'all know me. I play

2219
01:49:51,439 --> 01:49:54,320
Speaker 1: about everything. It was crazy because.

2220
01:49:54,120 --> 01:49:57,840
Speaker 2: After my mom passed, I had already had set up,

2221
01:49:57,920 --> 01:50:00,920
Speaker 2: like my cosmetic surgery I was getting, and I was

2222
01:50:00,960 --> 01:50:03,280
Speaker 2: thinking about canceling it and stuff, and I was like, man,

2223
01:50:03,720 --> 01:50:06,080
Speaker 2: I already told my mom about it. She was like, yes, girl,

2224
01:50:06,080 --> 01:50:07,879
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see it like it was outside.

2225
01:50:08,200 --> 01:50:08,760
Speaker 1: And I was like.

2226
01:50:08,920 --> 01:50:11,000
Speaker 2: Thinking, like, okay, well, what is something happened to me?

2227
01:50:11,360 --> 01:50:13,160
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, my sister gonna have

2228
01:50:13,160 --> 01:50:13,639
Speaker 2: to deal.

2229
01:50:13,439 --> 01:50:15,320
Speaker 1: With my mom. I was like, well, you know what,

2230
01:50:15,320 --> 01:50:17,400
Speaker 1: at least Mom be like, at least you died doing

2231
01:50:17,400 --> 01:50:20,080
Speaker 1: something you love, bitch, and you up here being a

2232
01:50:20,120 --> 01:50:20,960
Speaker 1: bad bitch.

2233
01:50:23,600 --> 01:50:27,120
Speaker 7: Get's what you gotta do.

2234
01:50:28,160 --> 01:50:31,920
Speaker 1: That's why it's gonna miss. And that's why I say

2235
01:50:32,400 --> 01:50:34,080
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, my mom was like,

2236
01:50:34,320 --> 01:50:36,400
Speaker 1: my bady bad because that's what she used to say.

2237
01:50:37,200 --> 01:50:40,400
Speaker 1: I know she's looking out like that like period and

2238
01:50:40,520 --> 01:50:43,960
Speaker 1: y'all still not fucking with my baby and I and

2239
01:50:44,040 --> 01:50:55,320
Speaker 1: y'all never will. Now we're gonna get into about about Bow.

2240
01:50:57,000 --> 01:50:58,920
Speaker 1: So I'm not gonna lie for my bout of the week.

2241
01:50:59,240 --> 01:51:01,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make my of the Week of doll song

2242
01:51:01,040 --> 01:51:03,960
Speaker 1: me too, because this was a song. This was one

2243
01:51:03,960 --> 01:51:05,599
Speaker 1: of the time I had my like my first little

2244
01:51:05,600 --> 01:51:08,639
Speaker 1: bad b girl and he was trying to impress me, like, oh,

2245
01:51:08,880 --> 01:51:11,080
Speaker 1: when I hear this song, I think about you. So

2246
01:51:11,160 --> 01:51:13,720
Speaker 1: Dof had a tape with Key Glock and you had

2247
01:51:13,720 --> 01:51:19,840
Speaker 1: a song called Juicy and he was like you juicy Juicy.

2248
01:51:20,040 --> 01:51:22,040
Speaker 1: He was just like, yeah, whenever I hear this song,

2249
01:51:22,080 --> 01:51:23,640
Speaker 1: I think about you a song, was like, oh, I

2250
01:51:23,680 --> 01:51:27,240
Speaker 1: know he loved me down, which he didn't, but that's

2251
01:51:27,320 --> 01:51:30,960
Speaker 1: my father. You ain't never heard dog juicy. That is

2252
01:51:31,000 --> 01:51:35,360
Speaker 1: a bop girl. That's I know what my song is?

2253
01:51:35,600 --> 01:51:39,840
Speaker 1: What's your R and B fast Nigga's my song? Yeah,

2254
01:51:40,000 --> 01:51:43,320
Speaker 1: because bag Ate she didn't want to and I mean,

2255
01:51:43,320 --> 01:51:50,200
Speaker 1: who don't want to be a period? I'm not mad

2256
01:51:50,200 --> 01:51:53,240
Speaker 1: at neither one of those. But my my favorite or

2257
01:51:53,280 --> 01:51:56,160
Speaker 1: my bob is my favorite. It is my song that's

2258
01:51:56,200 --> 01:51:58,920
Speaker 1: what I call my song. Okay, and it's him and

2259
01:51:59,000 --> 01:52:01,080
Speaker 1: Beato where he like like, you know, talking about you

2260
01:52:01,160 --> 01:52:05,360
Speaker 1: got it, that you got it remass that was yeah,

2261
01:52:05,200 --> 01:52:08,920
Speaker 1: no record. I just want you to know.

2262
01:52:09,080 --> 01:52:11,880
Speaker 2: But I feel like if you because you were saying earlier,

2263
01:52:11,920 --> 01:52:14,240
Speaker 2: like people didn't know he was like if you.

2264
01:52:14,640 --> 01:52:18,760
Speaker 1: Like everybody, it was like not like he was a

2265
01:52:18,960 --> 01:52:22,479
Speaker 1: very stiff nigg like he was not like he was

2266
01:52:22,600 --> 01:52:23,280
Speaker 1: very stiff.

2267
01:52:23,320 --> 01:52:26,680
Speaker 2: He was not playing so every if you was a

2268
01:52:26,720 --> 01:52:29,120
Speaker 2: fan of dof like you knew like, oh maybe he

2269
01:52:29,479 --> 01:52:32,160
Speaker 2: loved funny listen.

2270
01:52:32,000 --> 01:52:35,479
Speaker 9: If if she suck your dick, like I mean, like

2271
01:52:36,280 --> 01:52:43,280
Speaker 9: I'm surprised, but I feel like something like like that's

2272
01:52:43,320 --> 01:52:46,320
Speaker 9: all you're gonna end up doing, like like it's nothing

2273
01:52:46,920 --> 01:52:49,919
Speaker 9: from me, Like I'm gonna be honest with you, like people.

2274
01:52:49,720 --> 01:52:53,320
Speaker 1: Like how could you. I'm like, listen, if she listened,

2275
01:52:53,479 --> 01:52:55,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna end up being like so it happened, you

2276
01:52:55,800 --> 01:52:58,519
Speaker 1: would have to be something so like and I'm not

2277
01:52:58,560 --> 01:53:03,280
Speaker 1: even talking about your body or like you and they

2278
01:53:03,320 --> 01:53:05,360
Speaker 1: don't got it. Let me tell you something. I worked

2279
01:53:05,400 --> 01:53:06,960
Speaker 1: in the club for a very long time. I got

2280
01:53:07,000 --> 01:53:10,080
Speaker 1: stories about all the rappers, not one story about dolf.

2281
01:53:10,120 --> 01:53:12,240
Speaker 2: And I'm not just saying that because you're here, y'all

2282
01:53:12,240 --> 01:53:16,920
Speaker 2: know a lot of stories about things that these rappers

2283
01:53:16,960 --> 01:53:18,439
Speaker 2: be never because.

2284
01:53:21,000 --> 01:53:24,120
Speaker 1: Yes, and I mean even like in the time of us,

2285
01:53:24,160 --> 01:53:26,720
Speaker 1: like he just I just was not that was not

2286
01:53:26,880 --> 01:53:29,400
Speaker 1: my thing, Like I was not worried about no other woman,

2287
01:53:29,439 --> 01:53:31,439
Speaker 1: Like that was last thing like we were dealing with

2288
01:53:31,720 --> 01:53:34,400
Speaker 1: if we had an issue, it was like something real,

2289
01:53:34,560 --> 01:53:38,160
Speaker 1: like real life, real life stuff like okay, I need

2290
01:53:38,160 --> 01:53:41,439
Speaker 1: your presence more something like that, Like it's not no woman,

2291
01:53:41,520 --> 01:53:43,439
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. People will always assume like

2292
01:53:43,479 --> 01:53:45,000
Speaker 1: I know, you can relate to your nigga chet and

2293
01:53:45,000 --> 01:53:49,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, but with some niggas they do, they just

2294
01:53:49,400 --> 01:53:51,960
Speaker 1: be so stiff that it's like in order for you

2295
01:53:52,040 --> 01:53:54,800
Speaker 1: to catch his attention, you just gotta be something so

2296
01:53:55,000 --> 01:53:57,720
Speaker 1: special like you have You're gonna have to like or

2297
01:53:57,920 --> 01:54:00,320
Speaker 1: you just gonna have to be like so like I mean,

2298
01:54:00,360 --> 01:54:02,120
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, a man like I

2299
01:54:02,160 --> 01:54:06,160
Speaker 1: got brothers, you would have to be so like let

2300
01:54:06,160 --> 01:54:09,920
Speaker 1: me like you do something so whatever that I don't know,

2301
01:54:10,000 --> 01:54:11,479
Speaker 1: like it's gonna you wanna have to catch him at

2302
01:54:11,520 --> 01:54:14,760
Speaker 1: the right time, be the right type of director. And

2303
01:54:14,760 --> 01:54:17,679
Speaker 1: this ship kind of sexy because otherwise he probably gonna

2304
01:54:17,680 --> 01:54:19,120
Speaker 1: look at you like, bitch, get your ass out of

2305
01:54:20,840 --> 01:54:23,479
Speaker 1: that or it just I don't know, but I just

2306
01:54:23,720 --> 01:54:24,960
Speaker 1: it was like, at the end of the day, you're

2307
01:54:25,000 --> 01:54:27,320
Speaker 1: not about to have his heart. That's that's number one.

2308
01:54:27,360 --> 01:54:30,200
Speaker 1: You're not gonna have his heart. Not having you know,

2309
01:54:30,439 --> 01:54:32,960
Speaker 1: Adolf is no type of trick. He got money, but

2310
01:54:33,080 --> 01:54:35,000
Speaker 1: he not about to be And that's what.

2311
01:54:37,440 --> 01:54:38,080
Speaker 8: You mean.

2312
01:54:38,200 --> 01:54:44,960
Speaker 1: He's paying a bitch rent. That's my trigger everything.

2313
01:54:46,560 --> 01:54:48,840
Speaker 2: So look, like I said, I used to work in

2314
01:54:48,840 --> 01:54:51,800
Speaker 2: the club. The girl I never heard I had. I

2315
01:54:51,800 --> 01:54:53,360
Speaker 2: got stories about everybody in the game.

2316
01:54:53,560 --> 01:54:58,320
Speaker 1: Well say that for y'all tell me, but like, but exactly,

2317
01:54:58,440 --> 01:55:02,160
Speaker 1: but never you have a solid nigger in the games.

2318
01:55:02,560 --> 01:55:05,360
Speaker 1: What's up, Y'all's your girl x pee and it's sugarsary

2319
01:55:05,400 --> 01:55:07,400
Speaker 1: and a call. We're here to talk to y'all about

2320
01:55:07,400 --> 01:55:09,960
Speaker 1: Hello Fresh. Y'all know this is false season.

2321
01:55:10,080 --> 01:55:11,760
Speaker 2: This is a time where you're supposed to be eaten

2322
01:55:11,840 --> 01:55:13,320
Speaker 2: healthy and getting that body right.

2323
01:55:13,440 --> 01:55:16,360
Speaker 1: Period. Yes, we love Hello Fresh because it's twenty five

2324
01:55:16,360 --> 01:55:19,600
Speaker 1: percent cheaper than takeout, and it's to any time going

2325
01:55:19,640 --> 01:55:21,760
Speaker 1: to the to the grocery store if you literally can

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Speaker 1: is your sign to start now and just try you Okay,

2364
01:57:23,680 --> 01:57:26,440
Speaker 1: So now were gonna get into our favorite segment of

2365
01:57:26,520 --> 01:57:30,960
Speaker 1: the week. If you have questions, make sure you email

2366
01:57:31,040 --> 01:57:34,320
Speaker 1: us at ask poor Minds at gmail dot com. Make

2367
01:57:34,360 --> 01:57:36,560
Speaker 1: sure you email us ask your questions.

2368
01:57:36,800 --> 01:57:39,920
Speaker 2: If you're a Patreon member, make sure you email and

2369
01:57:40,000 --> 01:57:42,440
Speaker 2: just put Patreon in the subject line.

2370
01:57:42,520 --> 01:57:43,640
Speaker 1: We gonna answer your question.

2371
01:57:44,480 --> 01:57:49,200
Speaker 2: Okay, So question number one, it says, Hey, Lexindrea, y'all

2372
01:57:49,200 --> 01:57:51,040
Speaker 2: are so beautiful and brilliant, like.

2373
01:57:51,040 --> 01:57:53,560
Speaker 1: For real, for real. I wanna tell y'all how much

2374
01:57:53,600 --> 01:57:54,640
Speaker 1: you help my life.

2375
01:57:54,880 --> 01:57:58,320
Speaker 2: I finally started my podcast and I'm four episodes in

2376
01:57:58,360 --> 01:58:01,760
Speaker 2: and out awesome. Oh, I started school and I'm eight

2377
01:58:01,840 --> 01:58:05,560
Speaker 2: classes down, fourteen to go with three kids.

2378
01:58:05,800 --> 01:58:07,240
Speaker 1: It gets wild up in her.

2379
01:58:08,000 --> 01:58:10,680
Speaker 2: You ladies have helped me get back, get my sexy back,

2380
01:58:10,760 --> 01:58:14,280
Speaker 2: and remember I'm a boss bitch. I'm currently separating from

2381
01:58:14,280 --> 01:58:18,320
Speaker 2: an unhealthy relationship and I've severed ties. Things are going

2382
01:58:18,400 --> 01:58:20,400
Speaker 2: up and it's stuck because God is good and I

2383
01:58:20,440 --> 01:58:23,880
Speaker 2: stay true to myself and my kids. I love y'all

2384
01:58:23,880 --> 01:58:27,280
Speaker 2: for real, and y'all my therapy and forever grateful for.

2385
01:58:27,320 --> 01:58:31,720
Speaker 1: What y'all ladies do. Thank you. Oh, so we don't

2386
01:58:31,720 --> 01:58:34,520
Speaker 1: be sucking up everybody like yeah, because we be asking

2387
01:58:34,560 --> 01:58:37,160
Speaker 1: for testimonials and sometimes I be saying, I'll be like

2388
01:58:37,800 --> 01:58:40,560
Speaker 1: y'all lost my man? Fuck you Holy good, I'd be like,

2389
01:58:40,640 --> 01:58:47,480
Speaker 1: you know, I shouldn't listen to y'all, like yeow, I

2390
01:58:47,520 --> 01:58:52,680
Speaker 1: can't keep a man. Why would y'all listen to my star?

2391
01:58:54,360 --> 01:58:57,040
Speaker 1: I got a question over too, Hey, loves. I just

2392
01:58:57,080 --> 01:58:59,360
Speaker 1: found y'all on TikTok a few months ago, and I'll

2393
01:58:59,400 --> 01:59:01,880
Speaker 1: literally be listening to y'all at work. It makes my

2394
01:59:02,000 --> 01:59:04,680
Speaker 1: days fly by. I'm a twenty eight year old woman

2395
01:59:04,760 --> 01:59:06,760
Speaker 1: and have been with my man the last three years

2396
01:59:06,760 --> 01:59:09,440
Speaker 1: and we have two kids together. We are very well

2397
01:59:09,480 --> 01:59:11,640
Speaker 1: to driven and our main goals are to get out

2398
01:59:11,640 --> 01:59:14,400
Speaker 1: of the workforce and build businesses and a portfolio of

2399
01:59:14,440 --> 01:59:17,360
Speaker 1: properties to leave for our children and the entirety of

2400
01:59:17,400 --> 01:59:20,200
Speaker 1: our relationship. My man's mom has been in my presence

2401
01:59:20,240 --> 01:59:23,800
Speaker 1: maybe twice where I wasn't rubbed the wrong way by her.

2402
01:59:24,040 --> 01:59:26,640
Speaker 1: Majority of the time, just her being there makes my

2403
01:59:26,760 --> 01:59:30,240
Speaker 1: ass each because she's a complainer. She will invite herself

2404
01:59:30,280 --> 01:59:32,560
Speaker 1: to dinner at our house and complain the whole time

2405
01:59:32,600 --> 01:59:36,400
Speaker 1: about our plant based diet. She's loud and always over talking,

2406
01:59:36,640 --> 01:59:39,120
Speaker 1: so I just don't care for conversation with her anymore.

2407
01:59:39,920 --> 01:59:42,080
Speaker 1: Me and my man have been discussing buying a house

2408
01:59:42,120 --> 01:59:45,000
Speaker 1: next year, and his mother suggested we get a six

2409
01:59:45,080 --> 01:59:48,920
Speaker 1: slash seven bedroom house together and all pay extra to

2410
01:59:48,960 --> 01:59:51,040
Speaker 1: pay the house off in the next five years and

2411
01:59:51,080 --> 01:59:54,560
Speaker 1: do it over again to start accumulating property. I be

2412
01:59:54,680 --> 01:59:56,720
Speaker 1: down to do this if this was the right people,

2413
01:59:56,720 --> 01:59:59,760
Speaker 1: but his mama not an option for me. Your home

2414
01:59:59,760 --> 02:00:01,720
Speaker 1: needs to be a place of peace, and I ain't

2415
02:00:01,760 --> 02:00:04,160
Speaker 1: walking on egg shells in my sheet because you know,

2416
02:00:04,240 --> 02:00:07,560
Speaker 1: niggas be sensitive about they mamas. Any advice for how

2417
02:00:07,680 --> 02:00:12,640
Speaker 1: to have this conversation carefully? Okay, so we're gonna let

2418
02:00:12,680 --> 02:00:16,560
Speaker 1: me answer this because you have a son, I do. So,

2419
02:00:17,320 --> 02:00:19,400
Speaker 1: how do you feel like whenever your son gets to

2420
02:00:19,440 --> 02:00:21,440
Speaker 1: that age of dating, how are you gonna handle that.

2421
02:00:21,640 --> 02:00:24,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, I ain't even gonna talk in future

2422
02:00:24,280 --> 02:00:26,640
Speaker 1: like Adolph was for real about his family. Oh yea,

2423
02:00:27,040 --> 02:00:29,920
Speaker 1: so we could talk like one thing. I always said,

2424
02:00:30,040 --> 02:00:33,920
Speaker 1: like I'm not beefing with my in laws, like no

2425
02:00:34,000 --> 02:00:36,520
Speaker 1: matter what type. But I just I don't believe in that,

2426
02:00:36,600 --> 02:00:39,240
Speaker 1: cause it just makes the relationship harder. Like I'll have

2427
02:00:39,240 --> 02:00:41,120
Speaker 1: to choose, you know what I'm saying, and I don't

2428
02:00:41,360 --> 02:00:44,280
Speaker 1: have to be like damn, he choose me because family

2429
02:00:44,360 --> 02:00:47,400
Speaker 1: is important, you know what I'm saying. So I would probably,

2430
02:00:47,520 --> 02:00:49,200
Speaker 1: you know, like look for a house with an in

2431
02:00:49,320 --> 02:00:51,920
Speaker 1: law suite if this is a non negotiable and they

2432
02:00:52,000 --> 02:00:55,520
Speaker 1: really going for this, Okay, they got like whole garages

2433
02:00:55,560 --> 02:00:59,800
Speaker 1: with a whole apartment, yeah, I would like you don't

2434
02:00:59,840 --> 02:01:02,400
Speaker 1: look for that, or I would look for they got

2435
02:01:02,400 --> 02:01:05,960
Speaker 1: homes with basements, like they got a whole got a

2436
02:01:05,960 --> 02:01:09,920
Speaker 1: house like that. Her mama lived like I don't know

2437
02:01:10,040 --> 02:01:13,080
Speaker 1: she still does, but one of the property. Yeah, she

2438
02:01:13,160 --> 02:01:14,960
Speaker 1: had a low house and the property back for it.

2439
02:01:15,120 --> 02:01:17,840
Speaker 1: So honestly, if ever I was gonna get married, my

2440
02:01:17,880 --> 02:01:20,280
Speaker 1: mama was definitely gonna be on the stage. But what

2441
02:01:20,640 --> 02:01:24,120
Speaker 1: you do if you it's like his mama insufferable because

2442
02:01:24,160 --> 02:01:26,480
Speaker 1: that's how it sounds like she making it seemed. Then

2443
02:01:26,520 --> 02:01:28,600
Speaker 1: what would you do in the situation Like it's one

2444
02:01:28,600 --> 02:01:31,240
Speaker 1: of them type of things, Like it's just like get

2445
02:01:31,280 --> 02:01:36,720
Speaker 1: to a point like training yourself that like like girl't

2446
02:01:36,720 --> 02:01:39,120
Speaker 1: gonna listens, like okay, since well listen what you want

2447
02:01:39,120 --> 02:01:41,760
Speaker 1: to you don't like playing because she don't like playing,

2448
02:01:41,760 --> 02:01:46,720
Speaker 1: banks gonna make her stay? Yeah, you know what I'm

2449
02:01:47,000 --> 02:01:49,160
Speaker 1: just because I would be like when I would be

2450
02:01:49,160 --> 02:01:51,360
Speaker 1: playing base, my family didn't want it, so I would

2451
02:01:51,400 --> 02:01:54,240
Speaker 1: just go ahead. And that's what I think he loves

2452
02:01:54,280 --> 02:01:56,320
Speaker 1: me even more. It's like that extra mile that you

2453
02:01:56,480 --> 02:01:59,280
Speaker 1: go to appreciate him or his people, you know what

2454
02:01:59,320 --> 02:02:01,640
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's like I would go ahead and be like, look,

2455
02:02:01,720 --> 02:02:04,880
Speaker 1: I'm eating that, but here you go, like you know

2456
02:02:04,880 --> 02:02:07,720
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, child like, or I'll call it, I'll

2457
02:02:07,720 --> 02:02:09,200
Speaker 1: take out. You know what I'm saying. I call in

2458
02:02:09,240 --> 02:02:11,640
Speaker 1: something especially for her, and you know, I know it's

2459
02:02:11,920 --> 02:02:14,520
Speaker 1: like I ain't fing her. People would like to say that,

2460
02:02:14,560 --> 02:02:16,400
Speaker 1: but it's like it's not about that. Your man will

2461
02:02:16,440 --> 02:02:20,280
Speaker 1: appreciate the gestures you make for the people like it

2462
02:02:20,400 --> 02:02:22,080
Speaker 1: breaks to the people that he loved, you know what

2463
02:02:22,120 --> 02:02:24,280
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And I know when my brother when him

2464
02:02:24,320 --> 02:02:26,160
Speaker 1: and my sister when I first got together, it was

2465
02:02:26,520 --> 02:02:28,840
Speaker 1: hell because everybody didn't get along, you know what I say.

2466
02:02:30,280 --> 02:02:33,480
Speaker 1: And he's like, yeah, I always dreams of my wife

2467
02:02:33,520 --> 02:02:36,080
Speaker 1: and my slister and we set out and I like,

2468
02:02:36,160 --> 02:02:39,120
Speaker 1: because I love my brother and I'm alwaydn't get along.

2469
02:02:39,920 --> 02:02:42,640
Speaker 1: It was just a miscommunity, right, Okay, it was the

2470
02:02:42,760 --> 02:02:45,480
Speaker 1: very beginning, you know, they was young and married. They

2471
02:02:45,480 --> 02:02:49,640
Speaker 1: were eighteen nineteen, nineteen twenty. So I don't know about

2472
02:02:49,640 --> 02:02:54,120
Speaker 1: no relationship. Let's go, let's go. He like, all right,

2473
02:02:54,200 --> 02:02:57,720
Speaker 1: let's go. So she'll be mad, like you didn't ask me,

2474
02:02:57,960 --> 02:03:01,880
Speaker 1: braf she you know, so I was just young. But

2475
02:03:01,920 --> 02:03:04,240
Speaker 1: at the same time, when he expressed like, it's important

2476
02:03:04,640 --> 02:03:06,160
Speaker 1: when I talk to her and I got to know

2477
02:03:06,240 --> 02:03:10,160
Speaker 1: her relationships period, like you gotta learn how to accommodate

2478
02:03:10,200 --> 02:03:12,640
Speaker 1: people like you know, like it's just a part of it,

2479
02:03:12,720 --> 02:03:15,040
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And so I would just

2480
02:03:15,040 --> 02:03:17,120
Speaker 1: be like, I'm an accommodate this situation, but I can't

2481
02:03:17,120 --> 02:03:20,240
Speaker 1: make this all are y'all? Good? Seem gone? Don't take

2482
02:03:20,240 --> 02:03:25,000
Speaker 1: care of your business and stop taking things so personal.

2483
02:03:25,160 --> 02:03:29,280
Speaker 1: I think sometimes mom say things and it may offend you. Girl.

2484
02:03:29,320 --> 02:03:31,920
Speaker 1: Let that shit go on one just let it ride.

2485
02:03:31,960 --> 02:03:33,840
Speaker 1: I mean talking about this all the time on the show.

2486
02:03:33,960 --> 02:03:35,480
Speaker 1: Don't be like my mom. Let she beat up my

2487
02:03:35,520 --> 02:03:41,160
Speaker 1: greenee but she beat But don't do that, y'all. Don't

2488
02:03:41,200 --> 02:03:45,640
Speaker 1: be that. My daddy still say, dude, that's how you know,

2489
02:03:45,720 --> 02:03:50,280
Speaker 1: Barba put it on him right right now. Barbara got

2490
02:03:50,280 --> 02:03:53,360
Speaker 1: that what I can't see. That's something that so I

2491
02:03:53,400 --> 02:03:59,760
Speaker 1: can't be like somebody.

2492
02:03:59,800 --> 02:04:06,280
Speaker 4: But because everybody know, I mean like the family, get

2493
02:04:06,320 --> 02:04:08,560
Speaker 4: along with her, you know, just for the meaning of

2494
02:04:08,600 --> 02:04:09,800
Speaker 4: y'all's family and the growth.

2495
02:04:09,880 --> 02:04:13,720
Speaker 1: And I don't love you for that. He gonna especially

2496
02:04:13,720 --> 02:04:16,280
Speaker 1: if that's his mama, like he like he loved his mama,

2497
02:04:16,720 --> 02:04:17,760
Speaker 1: he gonna appreciate that.

2498
02:04:19,040 --> 02:04:22,880
Speaker 2: Get let everybody know where they can find you, what

2499
02:04:23,000 --> 02:04:25,440
Speaker 2: you're working on, what you got coming up this stuff?

2500
02:04:25,560 --> 02:04:28,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you can find me on my personal page.

2501
02:04:28,920 --> 02:04:32,480
Speaker 1: I am your jay on Instagram. But for my businesses,

2502
02:04:32,520 --> 02:04:35,200
Speaker 1: that's really like that's that's the meaningful stuff, like when

2503
02:04:35,200 --> 02:04:37,920
Speaker 1: I got talking about and ship. But black men deserve

2504
02:04:38,000 --> 02:04:40,840
Speaker 1: to grow. Oh, it's important for this black community to

2505
02:04:41,280 --> 02:04:44,040
Speaker 1: put our heads together and to support and advocate for

2506
02:04:44,080 --> 02:04:47,800
Speaker 1: the message because I'm tired. I'm tired of seeing our

2507
02:04:47,840 --> 02:04:50,720
Speaker 1: black men and boys being killed by one another. Right

2508
02:04:51,480 --> 02:04:53,520
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you tired, because don't nobody want to

2509
02:04:53,560 --> 02:04:56,080
Speaker 1: keep getting knocks at their door? They little cousins, they brothers,

2510
02:04:56,120 --> 02:04:59,560
Speaker 1: they uncles, they daddies not coming home before that. So

2511
02:04:59,760 --> 02:05:02,160
Speaker 1: f me for that on Black men deserve to grow

2512
02:05:02,280 --> 02:05:05,400
Speaker 1: old on Instagram or uh b M D T G

2513
02:05:05,520 --> 02:05:10,000
Speaker 1: O dot com you know, shorten that thing. You can

2514
02:05:10,040 --> 02:05:13,560
Speaker 1: also find me at the mom and CEO on Instagram

2515
02:05:13,920 --> 02:05:17,160
Speaker 1: and fresh Start Kids. That's the nonprofit that's where we

2516
02:05:17,200 --> 02:05:19,160
Speaker 1: ain't really live in pushing over there. I'm gonna be honest,

2517
02:05:19,200 --> 02:05:23,040
Speaker 1: because it's a lot going on right I'm like everywhere,

2518
02:05:23,200 --> 02:05:27,000
Speaker 1: Like when we're gonna get together, I'm like, I'm gonna

2519
02:05:27,040 --> 02:05:30,200
Speaker 1: call you all in the minute. It's just I'm overwhelmed,

2520
02:05:30,280 --> 02:05:33,920
Speaker 1: you know, like seriously. So eventually we'll get back to

2521
02:05:34,160 --> 02:05:37,320
Speaker 1: like doing things and really really pouring into the community.

2522
02:05:37,360 --> 02:05:40,920
Speaker 1: But following turn on them notifications won't be like, oh

2523
02:05:40,960 --> 02:05:44,200
Speaker 1: I ain't no beause it started, we ain't stopping. And

2524
02:05:44,320 --> 02:05:48,240
Speaker 1: that's a fact. Okay, you so much great emphasize that

2525
02:05:48,440 --> 02:05:52,520
Speaker 1: was so good because you know what, we've been wanting

2526
02:05:52,520 --> 02:05:54,680
Speaker 1: to talk about this stuff for a long time. We've

2527
02:05:54,720 --> 02:05:57,480
Speaker 1: been dealing with a lie. So I'm gonna close. This

2528
02:05:57,640 --> 02:06:00,800
Speaker 1: was one of my favorite quotes. It is your favorite

2529
02:06:00,840 --> 02:06:06,160
Speaker 1: quote with these niggas because they shady, these inches. They

2530
02:06:06,280 --> 02:06:10,160
Speaker 1: just want to have my baby born in the eighties,

2531
02:06:10,360 --> 02:06:14,160
Speaker 1: cracked baby. As I was, I was like, thank y'all

2532
02:06:14,160 --> 02:06:17,320
Speaker 1: so much for We'll see y'all next week.

2533
02:06:17,920 --> 02:06:18,200
Speaker 4: Bye.

2534
02:06:18,280 --> 02:06:19,840
Speaker 1: Y'all, y'all,