Speaker 1: I'm struggling, I'm sick. I'm in so much pain. They
Speaker 1: mock me, they ridicule me, they oppressed me. Is following
Speaker 1: you all in vain? Is it worthless?
Speaker 2: All right? Welcome back to the podcast, y'all. We have
Speaker 2: Marshall joining us, my pastor and uh, a man of
Speaker 2: great advice.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, man.
Speaker 2: Marshall. Where are you from.
Speaker 1: Austin, Texas?
Speaker 2: Well, you are from there.
Speaker 1: I was born there, but we moved around a lot
Speaker 1: so Central Texas, so Austin, Georgetown, bas drop back to
Speaker 1: Austin Cedar Park for a little bit.
Speaker 2: What about Smithville does that have? Where does that come in?
Speaker 1: That's what I meant by bastrop. Nobody knows who Smithville?
Speaker 1: So I say, but that was Junior High High School?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah? What about before that? You were in Austin.
Speaker 1: Before before Smithville?
Speaker 2: Where was elementary school?
Speaker 1: Elementary school would have been Austin and Cedar Park. We moved.
Speaker 1: We moved in the middle of elementary school.
Speaker 2: You were like Central Texas born and raised.
Speaker 1: H yeah, seat in downtown. That's where That's where I
Speaker 1: was born.
Speaker 2: There's this, uh, there's this book that Bernie showed me
Speaker 2: called the intentional father, and it talked about that term raised. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and now it has Roman roots where the woman would
Speaker 2: lay the baby on the at the foot of the
Speaker 2: father and if he wanted the baby, he would raise
Speaker 2: it up in the front of everyone, okay, and if
Speaker 2: he didn't want it, he would just turn his back
Speaker 2: and walk away. Interesting since then we get that term
Speaker 2: raised up like I was raised. I was raised by
Speaker 2: my grandparents. I raised by my parents. I've never really
Speaker 2: thought about it. What does it even mean raised?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I've never thought about That's interesting. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you're raised glad my dad raised me up.
Speaker 2: He raised you up in Central Texas, that's right. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you want to answer some of these questions, I'll.
Speaker 1: Do my best.
Speaker 2: People love you here. That's why you're back again and
Speaker 2: hopefully ford willing many other times.
Speaker 1: I love being here.
Speaker 2: We answer your questions. You email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Speaker 2: And this first one comes from Chastity. It says, Hey Granger,
Speaker 2: my name is Chasity. Lately, I've been struggling with emotions
Speaker 2: and getting so easily upset over the past past hurts
Speaker 2: that are resurfacing. I was explaining to my husband that
Speaker 2: some days I feel so on fire for Jesus and
Speaker 2: I want to tell everyone about him, and I'm so
Speaker 2: excited to be a child of God. Then there are
Speaker 2: other times when I feel so overwhelmed and emotional, over
Speaker 2: feeling ignored by others, are just over things that have
Speaker 2: already happened. My question is how do I have faith?
Speaker 2: Because I know that it isn't always based on feelings,
Speaker 2: it's more trust. And do I keep from getting so
Speaker 2: overwhelmed by emotions and acting out saying things that hurt others?
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for all you do God blass
Speaker 2: All right, chassity, let me recap from my own mind here.
Speaker 2: You're wondering. First of all, your big question is how
Speaker 2: do I have faith? And then you say, because it
Speaker 2: isn't always based on feelings, it's more trust, and do
Speaker 2: I keep from getting how do I keep from getting
Speaker 2: overwhelmed by emotions and acting out saying things that hurt others?
Speaker 2: So there's like stuff under here that we don't totally
Speaker 2: know about. In your question, it's kind of it's a
Speaker 2: parent that you're acting out and hurting others, and that
Speaker 2: is part of the purpose of this email, and that
Speaker 2: you're saying is associated with your past hurts that are resurfacing.
Speaker 2: I'm explaining for myself, but all this is totally normal.
Speaker 2: This isn't abnormal for someone to say an email just
Speaker 2: like this. But the fact that you say, I feel
Speaker 2: so on fire for Jesus and I want to tell
Speaker 2: everybody about him. And then there are other times we're
Speaker 2: just overwhelmed by emotion. That's yes, we hear you, Marshall.
Speaker 2: Where do you start with chastity?
Speaker 1: Well, one, you you don't want to put your feelings
Speaker 1: against your faith. They're not enemies, right, one you live
Speaker 1: by and one you just experience. And so faith is
Speaker 1: the assurance of things, hope for no matter what you're feeling,
Speaker 1: positively or negatively, you're on the highest high of the
Speaker 1: lowest low. You're not letting your feelings dictate your steps forward.
Speaker 1: And so your your faith comes in when you when
Speaker 1: you try to think through Okay, I know what I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: but what do I know to be true? What do
Speaker 1: I know God's word says about the situation I'm in?
Speaker 1: And a lot of times, especially when it's the negative
Speaker 1: feeling of pain and hurt and suffering, the truth is well,
Speaker 1: God said we're going to experience this. This is a
Speaker 1: broken world. I'm not I shouldn't be chasing comfort and
Speaker 1: peace here and now. I should be finding my peace
Speaker 1: in Christ. Should be chasing the promise of God that
Speaker 1: this is not the end. There's something better when Christ returns.
Speaker 1: And so that's where my hope is. And so I
Speaker 1: can experience the hurt and the pain and the suffering
Speaker 1: in a way that doesn't overwhelm me because I know
Speaker 1: this is not a lasting thing, that this will end.
Speaker 1: But then it also keeps in check the positive emotions
Speaker 1: that we have and the positive feelings when we might
Speaker 1: be tempted to put too much stock into the current situation.
Speaker 1: If only I can stay in this specific situation, this circumstance,
Speaker 1: then everything's going to be good moving forward.
Speaker 2: And so yeah, that's interesting. You start right, you go
Speaker 2: right out the gate and you say we shouldn't pit
Speaker 2: our feelings and our trusting or would you say.
Speaker 1: You can't pit feelings in faith against each other?
Speaker 2: Chastity you said, because I know that it isn't always
Speaker 2: based on my feelings, And so yeah, it's interesting that
Speaker 2: Marshall's saying, why do you need to make those two
Speaker 2: completely separate things like as if feelings are crushing your faith, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's what she's implying. And we see that, We've seen
Speaker 2: it in the Psalms all the time. David wrestles through this.
Speaker 2: In fact, you're preaching on it.
Speaker 1: This Sunday, I'm preaching on Psalm seventy three, where the
Speaker 1: psalm ist Uh sees all this, these wicked people prospering.
Speaker 1: He says, they're healthy, they have all this money, they
Speaker 1: have no problems. The biggest problem they have is the
Speaker 1: fact that they die at some point. But until then
Speaker 1: they just live these great lives. And me, who I'm
Speaker 1: seeking to follow? You got I'm struggling, I'm sick, I'm
Speaker 1: in so much pain. They mock me, they ridicule me,
Speaker 1: they oppress me. Is following you all in vain? Is
Speaker 1: it worthless? Is?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: And right there that's real feelings.
Speaker 1: That's real feelings. Yeah, And so there's not the sense
Speaker 1: of hey, stop feeling that way. Yeah, Like you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't control the way you interpret the situation or
Speaker 1: how you respond to the interpretation of the situation, right,
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna experience things in your life that will
Speaker 1: they will cause your feelings to ebb and flow. They're
Speaker 1: gonna go up and down, and so your faith is
Speaker 1: how you respond to those feelings. It's not like, Okay,
Speaker 1: don't feel one way so that you can be faithful.
Speaker 1: It's how are you going to be faithful in the
Speaker 1: way that you're feeling.
Speaker 2: So let's stop right there and just define that because
Speaker 2: you're saying Chassidy says, because I know it, my faith
Speaker 2: is not based on feelings, and Marshall's saying, no, your
Speaker 2: faith is how you respond to the feelings.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, I mean think about Paul and first Thessalonians.
Speaker 1: When he says, you know, when we have loved ones,
Speaker 1: who ones or friends, you know, things like that, who
Speaker 1: who are followers of Jesus who die? He says, we
Speaker 1: don't grieve as those who have no hope. And the
Speaker 1: second part is tends to be what we lean on.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, you have hope, so so like be hopeful.
Speaker 1: And that's true, but the first part is equally as important.
Speaker 1: He says, we don't grieve as those who have no hope.
Speaker 1: So there's the there's the reality that he's presenting. But
Speaker 1: you're gonna grieve, You're gonna feel that pain. So you're
Speaker 1: gonna have that feeling of hurt and sorrow, but that
Speaker 1: grief doesn't find permanent residence in your soul because of
Speaker 1: the hope that you have. And so he's showing that
Speaker 1: right there. Your faith is going to be the response
Speaker 1: to the feeling of grief that you have because it's
Speaker 1: the hope that you have and so okay, this grief
Speaker 1: is not going to be a lasting grief. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: it's just that was really helpful when my mom passed away,
Speaker 1: was thinking through that of in some stmes, I felt
Speaker 1: for a little bit that I wasn't able to grieve
Speaker 1: fully because I just grew up where it was kind
Speaker 1: of like, hey, you're a Christian, have hope. You know
Speaker 1: there's resurrection one day and she's in a better place
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff. But and really studying
Speaker 1: first Thessalonians and seeing that it hit me pretty hard. No,
Speaker 1: Paul acknowledges we're gonna have grief and that is an
Speaker 1: appropriate time to grief, but that grief doesn't stay, it's
Speaker 1: not lasting because there's something greater than that and that's
Speaker 1: what my faith is in.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is so good.
Speaker 1: So you want your faith to instruct how you work
Speaker 1: through your how you process your feelings. And that's exactly
Speaker 1: what's happening in Psalm seventy three in the sermon this week,
Speaker 1: Like he lists all these things that he's struggling with,
Speaker 1: and I'm bringing this up in the sermon. The interesting
Speaker 1: thing is he lists all this injustice that he sees
Speaker 1: and the wicked prospering and everything, But the issue that
Speaker 1: he actually confesses to God is the fact that he
Speaker 1: was envious of all that. So his biggest concern wasn't
Speaker 1: that they were experiencing this process sparity. It was the
Speaker 1: fact that he wasn't. And so he's trying to process
Speaker 1: all of this, and it says like the turning point
Speaker 1: of the psalm is when he says, when I thought
Speaker 1: to understand this, I was exhausted. It was wearisome task
Speaker 1: to me until I went to the sanctuary and I learned.
Speaker 1: And so there's a shift where he takes his feelings,
Speaker 1: his doubts, his thoughts to the Lord in faith and
Speaker 1: basically says, I need you to help me understand this.
Speaker 1: I know what's true is that You're good. He says
Speaker 1: at the start of the song, he says, truly, God
Speaker 1: is good. He says, I know this is true, but
Speaker 1: this is what I'm seeing. I need you to help
Speaker 1: me understand and reconcile these two things. So there his
Speaker 1: faith is influencing his feelings in the sense of directing
Speaker 1: where he moves forward from them. He could have just
Speaker 1: stayed in those feelings right of doubt and hurt and envy,
Speaker 1: but in faith, he takes it to the Lord and says,
Speaker 1: I need you to help me understand this. And by
Speaker 1: the end of it, he's like, whom have I in
Speaker 1: heaven but you on earth? There's nothing to desire besides
Speaker 1: you you. And so he really comes to understand. I
Speaker 1: was starting to treasure so many things above you, and
Speaker 1: it caused me to feel this way. But when you
Speaker 1: showed me the end of all of it, so he said,
Speaker 1: you know, the wicked they they'll perish. They'll be judged
Speaker 1: for their wickedness that you're they're doing. So whatever prosperity
Speaker 1: they have, now that's that's the extent of their their happiness,
Speaker 1: because they're going to get judged. But as for me,
Speaker 1: this pain and suffering I'm experiencing now pales in comparison
Speaker 1: to the to the glory. I'm gonna be with with
Speaker 1: you one day. And so that faith helps him get
Speaker 1: through the feelings of doubt and grief and envy and pain.
Speaker 2: So that's so good. So Chastity kind of give you
Speaker 2: some some practical application for this. The at your words,
Speaker 2: you're excited to be a child of God. So as
Speaker 2: a child of God, you are told that you will suffer,
Speaker 2: you will have feelings, you will grieve, you will sin.
Speaker 2: You told a lot of things about yourself, and it
Speaker 2: never says that you won't be that, or you won't
Speaker 2: do that, or you won't feel that. But what the
Speaker 2: Bible does it helps you to make sense of those
Speaker 2: feelings and when you do suffer, how to suffer well,
Speaker 2: when you do grieve, how to grieve with hope. So
Speaker 2: that's the application for you, is that you will go
Speaker 2: through these The fact that you feel or go through
Speaker 2: these things doesn't mean you're a bad child of God.
Speaker 2: But how you respond to it is what we want
Speaker 2: you to know. And then then we're going to get
Speaker 2: into spiritual disciplines with this conversation, because what Marshall is
Speaker 2: basically saying is when he lost his mother and I
Speaker 2: don't know how the scenario worked out, but you went
Speaker 2: to the Bible with your feelings. So, for instance, chastity,
Speaker 2: when you say, well what do I how does that
Speaker 2: look like? Bring it to God? When I bring my feet,
Speaker 2: what does that look like? Well it means. It could
Speaker 2: mean a dark room with a cup of coffee in
Speaker 2: your Bible and you go to your Bible in prayer.
Speaker 2: It's like, Lord, I'm coming to your word. I feel this.
Speaker 2: I think I'm grieving this way, I'm suffering in this way,
Speaker 2: I have sinned in this way, and I'm taking this
Speaker 2: to you, meaning practically, I'm sitting here with the Bible
Speaker 2: in my lap, and Marshall's saying when this happened with
Speaker 2: his mother, he found a word in there that transformed
Speaker 2: and gave him understanding to understand the suffering he was
Speaker 2: going through. Yeah, there's a lot. We could talk for
Speaker 2: probably an hour about spiritual disciplines and how the different
Speaker 2: things you could set up chastity in your life to
Speaker 2: help walk through these I don't think it's necessary to
Speaker 2: do that in this podcast.
Speaker 1: I think the only thing I would say based on
Speaker 1: what she said in the email is feeling things based
Speaker 1: on past experiences. I think there is something to where
Speaker 1: we shouldn't dwell so much on the past. The Lord
Speaker 1: has us where we're at today for a reason, and
Speaker 1: to keep bringing up things in the past is going
Speaker 1: to keep bringing up the same emotions. And so there's
Speaker 1: a sense of just keep moving forward, keep pressing on
Speaker 1: in faith. No, you can't go back and change things,
Speaker 1: and that God was sovereign over all of it. So
Speaker 1: you are where you are today for a reason, and
Speaker 1: and just don't don't dwell so much on the past. Really,
Speaker 1: I mean, I've told some of our people, like, the
Speaker 1: only thing you should dwell on that's in the past
Speaker 1: is the Cross because of all the implications that come
Speaker 1: from that, and that fuels the faith going forward. So
Speaker 1: it's good.
Speaker 2: Amber and I were told one time it happened, but
Speaker 2: it is not happening. This podcast is brought to you
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Speaker 2: even though when we didn't even know it. We were
Speaker 2: working through doing putting in the work for each other,
Speaker 2: for understanding each other, for understanding how we respond or
Speaker 2: why we respond in certain ways. Areas in our life
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Speaker 2: That's Better Help HLP dot com slash Granger. Next question
Speaker 2: comes from Grace. Hey, Granger, have been listening to your
Speaker 2: podcast a lot and I feel very motivated by them.
Speaker 2: What is your advice you'd give to someone who's never
Speaker 2: dated at the age of nineteen, How to pick themselves
Speaker 2: up when everyone around you has a boyfriend who is
Speaker 2: already hanging out with their significant other instead of you,
Speaker 2: and then make me feel lonely by myself? How do
Speaker 2: I keep faith and trust in God, knowing that he
Speaker 2: has a plan for my future when I'm starting to
Speaker 2: lose hope? There it is again, thank you for everything
Speaker 2: you do for others. Grace, Hey, Grace, thanks for emailing.
Speaker 2: I'm nineteen years old. That once again not an uncommon question.
Speaker 2: You're not alone in asking this, And for you to
Speaker 2: be nineteen and single and have never dated and looking
Speaker 2: around at a lot of other people that are dating
Speaker 2: now is very common, very normal. Although it seems like
Speaker 2: you're the only one I could tell you just from
Speaker 2: this podcast alone, from two hundred and twenty six episodes,
Speaker 2: I could tell you here by far, you're not alone.
Speaker 2: You have a lot of people going through this, and
Speaker 2: that's the first part. We'll start with that. The second
Speaker 2: part is nineteen seems so old, but you're so young,
Speaker 2: have so much. You have so much, and and I
Speaker 2: would be so encouraged by you that you've actually not
Speaker 2: dated in you're nineteen, and so you think of what
Speaker 2: you what you've been saved from, you know, because all
Speaker 2: these people you're looking at and all these bad breakups,
Speaker 2: and probably the next question we get, I don't know,
Speaker 2: this is something bad that's happening in a relationship that
Speaker 2: people are trying to look Hey, the question we just
Speaker 2: had from Chastity, so she's looking back at the past,
Speaker 2: at things that are now resurfacing. It probably has to
Speaker 2: do with a relationship and grace. You are free from
Speaker 2: that right now. You have a clean slate, And so
Speaker 2: let's start with that's that's your first paragraph. And how
Speaker 2: to keep my faith and trust God knowing that he
Speaker 2: has a plan for the future when I'm starting to
Speaker 2: lose hope. That's that's that. And then then the middle
Speaker 2: part of your question is how to stop looking at
Speaker 2: everyone around you? So just try to think just purely
Speaker 2: practical marshal on this without getting too deep with this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna assume. I'm going to assume that social media
Speaker 2: is part of the problem. It seems a pretty good
Speaker 2: assumption in twenty twenty four, at being nineteen, that you're
Speaker 2: gonna see something else popping up on social media when
Speaker 2: it's another one of your friends and they're in a
Speaker 2: relationship and they're having a good time and you're left out.
Speaker 2: Do you get What are your thoughts on social media?
Speaker 2: And have you and your wife Alex thought about any
Speaker 2: safeguards for your own kids.
Speaker 1: I mean, we've started talking about it. Our oldest is nine,
Speaker 1: so you can go all the way at a time,
Speaker 1: But I mean, who knows what it'll be out there
Speaker 1: by then?
Speaker 2: Right, So in ten years Kim is Grace nineteen. Those
Speaker 2: are ten quick years. Oh yeah, So let's think of
Speaker 2: Kim as your daughter as Grace in the situation, right,
Speaker 2: what are you telling her?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if she's telling me she's losing hope
Speaker 1: on asking what her hope is in, right, that's it.
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna I'm I'm not gonna go to
Speaker 1: deep into that because I don't know yet, But that's
Speaker 1: gonna dictate kind of the some of the practical advice
Speaker 1: I give her, because I mean, part of it would
Speaker 1: be what you've already said like, yeah, nineteen seems like
Speaker 1: you're you're behind the game that you should have already
Speaker 1: dated multiple guys by this point. And it's like you
Speaker 1: got plenty of time. Out of all the people I've
Speaker 1: ever met, I've only met two who or like I've
Speaker 1: married my high school sweetheart yep too, out of all
Speaker 1: the people. Yeah, And so it's you know, the odds
Speaker 1: are not strong in that favor for that. And so
Speaker 1: when I think through people dating, it's it's why do
Speaker 1: you want to date? Right? Like, if you're wanting to
Speaker 1: date just to date, that's just gonna lead to hurt
Speaker 1: because there's no end game in that. It's just and
Speaker 1: it's really about yourself. When really, when you think about
Speaker 1: a relationship, in a relationship, you should be thinking about
Speaker 1: the other person above yourself, and if both people are
Speaker 1: doing that, that leads to a good relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right. And so if the idea is I just I
Speaker 1: want to date because I feel like I should have
Speaker 1: dated by now, that's difficult because you've made it more
Speaker 1: about you than anybody else. Now I have talked two
Speaker 1: people who feel like I haven't dated yet because I
Speaker 1: must not be good enough. Nobody's found me attractive, nobody
Speaker 1: finds me lovable, nobody nobody wants to be with me,
Speaker 1: And then if that's the case, then then then we
Speaker 1: have a whole other discussion on our hands. Right, So,
Speaker 1: if Kim's telling me that, like, I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm worthless, I feel like nobody loves me, nobody cares
Speaker 1: for me, nobody wants to be with me again at nineteen,
Speaker 1: I'm pushing against that a little bit, saying, hey, you're
Speaker 1: only nineteen, don't stress about it. But you know you
Speaker 1: could take the conversation in two different ways at that point.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, I don't think Grace is going there.
Speaker 1: I don't think so either, which why I didn't start there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I do think there is the sense it sounds
Speaker 1: more like I feel like I should have dated by now, yes,
Speaker 1: and I haven't.
Speaker 2: And so yeah, if London, my daughter came to me
Speaker 2: and said, Dad, could you could you give me an
Speaker 2: example of something you would love for me to say
Speaker 2: in the next seven years, I would say, I would
Speaker 2: love for you in the next seven years to say
Speaker 2: I've never dated anyone and I'm still nineteen. I'm just nineteen.
Speaker 2: I would I would love that for my daughter so
Speaker 2: what you have, grace is truly a gift, and I
Speaker 2: hope you see it that way. And because then we
Speaker 2: can go to your last question, how do you keep
Speaker 2: faith and trust in God? Knowing he has a plan
Speaker 2: for your future? But you're starting to lose hope? And
Speaker 2: I go, if I'm your father, Grace, I say, my
Speaker 2: hope is that you are still single at nineteen. So
Speaker 2: how much more would our heavenly Father want for us? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I think there's a sense of you know, how
Speaker 1: do I I can't remember how she worded it right there,
Speaker 1: you know, you just read it, but you know, how
Speaker 1: do I remain faithful? Trusting God? And this whole thing?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's interesting because his word actually speak speaks
Speaker 1: to this when Paul says, I wish you were all single,
Speaker 1: because then you could devote a lot of time to
Speaker 1: the ministry like I'm doing just to not not like
Speaker 1: paid ministry or working at a church, but just there's
Speaker 1: so much you could be doing for God right now
Speaker 1: when you don't have to worry about a significant other,
Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about children. You have so
Speaker 1: many freedoms in that sense. And so what scripture speaks
Speaker 1: to this is if you're nineteen and you're not dating,
Speaker 1: the Lord actually says that's a good thing. And if
Speaker 1: that's the case, if you're not dating, if you haven't
Speaker 1: found somebody that you're potentially getting married to, if he
Speaker 1: hasn't brought that person into your life, then he's put
Speaker 1: you in a position where you have a lot of
Speaker 1: freedoms to serve him in specific ways. And so, you know,
Speaker 1: how do I remain faithful without losing hope and knowing
Speaker 1: what God's plan is for me in this His plan
Speaker 1: for you is just to glorify Him and everything, whether
Speaker 1: you're dating or not. And so when you're not dating,
Speaker 1: you have all these freedoms that you can do to
Speaker 1: serve him better. And so how do you do it?
Speaker 1: What's the practical step? Figure out the ways you're serving
Speaker 1: the Lord? How are you seeking to glorify Him in
Speaker 1: everything you're presently doing. You know, as you know, I'm
Speaker 1: assuming you're in church being a Christian, and so there's
Speaker 1: you know, you can go on mission trips more easily
Speaker 1: than if you were, you know, with somebody or you know,
Speaker 1: have kids. That's more difficult when you get those situations
Speaker 1: in your life. So you can go on mission trips,
Speaker 1: you can you can be in more Bible, you can
Speaker 1: go to Bible study, you can be in meeting with
Speaker 1: more ladies in the church for discipleship and then discipling
Speaker 1: some of the the the the younger ladies in the church.
Speaker 1: And so you have all these opportunities to be serving
Speaker 1: the Lord. And you know, how how am I supposed
Speaker 1: to know God's plan for my life in this point? Well,
Speaker 1: he actually tells you, if you're single, you have all
Speaker 1: the freedoms to do so many things. Yeah, so go
Speaker 1: and do them.
Speaker 2: I was just I don't remember. I don't remember if
Speaker 2: you're with me or not, Marshall. But recently someone told me,
Speaker 2: I don't remember who was. They told me they met
Speaker 2: their wife on mission.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh man, that's a pretty good place to
Speaker 2: meet your your future spouse. Yeah, so that's what he's saying. Yeah, yeah, Well,
Speaker 2: is there a is there a book we could recommend Grace.
Speaker 1: Not Yet Married? Not not Yet Married by Marshall? Uh Siegel?
Speaker 2: Okay, s E g A L.
Speaker 1: I believe cool. So good question.
Speaker 2: I'm a fan of the outdated book. Jonathan Bakluda outdated,
Speaker 2: I think that is, it's probably the closest target to
Speaker 2: your exact question here, Even though that's coming from a
Speaker 2: married man, it's always a little bit more difficult when
Speaker 2: it's coming from someone's not in your situation at all.
Speaker 2: Next question comes from Austin Hey Granger. I live in
Speaker 2: North Georgia. I'm twenty two years old and a few
Speaker 2: months away and hopefully getting engaged to my girlfriend of
Speaker 2: four years. I've been listening to this podcast for about
Speaker 2: a year now, and my question for you is about
Speaker 2: growing my faith and reading the Bible a couple of mine.
Speaker 2: A goal of mine is to eventually read the whole Bible.
Speaker 2: I've tried to start multiple times, but I always end
Speaker 2: up not following through. I always get stuck feeling like
Speaker 2: reading the Bible just to read is a chore, and
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I get as much out of
Speaker 2: it as I do when I study certain topics, for example,
Speaker 2: doing a devotional or reading along with a pastor at church.
Speaker 2: Should I focus on reading the whole Bible, and if so,
Speaker 2: what would be the best way to focus on that?
Speaker 2: Or should I just read and study certain topics. Thanks
Speaker 2: for all you do to help build the Kingdom of God,
Speaker 2: God Bless, and that is Austin. Austin, I'm gonna agree
Speaker 2: with you right off the bat. It's something you said.
Speaker 2: You said, I feel stuck, feeling like reading the Bible
Speaker 2: just to read it is a chore, and I don't
Speaker 2: feel like I get as much out of it when
Speaker 2: I do. I agree, and I think God would agree.
Speaker 2: If you're reading it just to read it. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't really know anything in life you could say
Speaker 2: that about doing something just to do it, You're not
Speaker 2: going to get anything out of it, regardless of filling
Speaker 2: the blank with whatever that is, including the Bible. So
Speaker 2: when the Bible becomes a chore, or when you think
Speaker 2: of the Bible as something that you need to read
Speaker 2: because that's what you need to do, it is certainly
Speaker 2: getting into the category of works for righteousness at that point.
Speaker 2: It's it is becoming you said the word often a chore.
Speaker 2: So if that's where you are, and you're like, man,
Speaker 2: I've heard people say I should read the whole Bible,
Speaker 2: and I feel like I probably should read the whole Bible.
Speaker 2: It just makes sense, but I cannot stand doing it,
Speaker 2: and I've tried and I've given up, and it feels
Speaker 2: like a chore because I'm just doing it because I'm
Speaker 2: trying to, you know, put a check in the box.
Speaker 2: And to all that, I say, Okay, then we probably
Speaker 2: need to aim lower, and we need to we need
Speaker 2: to go backwards a little bit and in the spiritual disciplines,
Speaker 2: like we mentioned earlier, let's let's back up a little bit.
Speaker 2: Because first of all, what I always like to encourage
Speaker 2: is instead of thinking of reading the entire Bible, I
Speaker 2: don't really even like that terminology. I don't like to
Speaker 2: think of it in that way because it immediately makes
Speaker 2: me think of reading it to finish it. And it
Speaker 2: should never be like that. And unless you're taking some
Speaker 2: kind of math class, then I don't think any book
Speaker 2: should be looked at as reading it just to finish it.
Speaker 2: What good is it at all? So back way up,
Speaker 2: aim way lower. You know what I want to I
Speaker 2: want to start. I'm want to start reading to the
Speaker 2: Book of John. But I don't want to necessarily read
Speaker 2: the Book of John. I don't want to read the
Speaker 2: whole Bible, and I don't want to read the whole
Speaker 2: Book of John. I just want to read the first chapter.
Speaker 2: And if that seems like too much. Then I just
Speaker 2: want to read the first page in my Bible of John.
Speaker 2: I'm want to start there because I know that this
Speaker 2: whole Bible reading thing something I should do. But your
Speaker 2: eyes have to be open to that. And this is
Speaker 2: this is from someone speaking to you right now that
Speaker 2: understands what it felt like to have my eyes closed
Speaker 2: to it, to have the dust collecting on the Bible itself.
Speaker 2: And I can't tell you. I can't open your eyes, Austin,
Speaker 2: and I can't tell you that you need to be
Speaker 2: doing this. And if you want to be a Christian,
Speaker 2: you need to read your Bible. I can't. I can't
Speaker 2: do it. I can only encourage you if you're going.
Speaker 2: I'm hungry, I love God. My eyes are open, I
Speaker 2: want to know. I want to know word and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna go. Let me show you where it is and
Speaker 2: try to hear in the Bible. And you've probably heard
Speaker 2: me go through that whole spill before on this podcast
Speaker 2: or somewhere else. And that's not what I would say
Speaker 2: to you. To you, I would say, we have to
Speaker 2: get our heart right first, and that's gonna start with prayer. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And it's like I'm thinking, I'm just trying to picture
Speaker 2: this and try to give you just a practical look
Speaker 2: for this, Austin. And so I'm thinking, I hate to
Speaker 2: always say early in the morning, but you know, for
Speaker 2: me in my life, the morning is better for my
Speaker 2: personal reading because that's before my phone starts buzzing and
Speaker 2: the emails come in, and Amber has things for me
Speaker 2: to do, and I've got other obligations, so before all
Speaker 2: that starts. This is why I always go there. I
Speaker 2: would get there, Austin, in the time of day when
Speaker 2: nothing's going on, and just go, Lord, here I am.
Speaker 2: And my mind tells me that I should be reading
Speaker 2: this because I've heard it said that this is your word.
Speaker 2: But Lord, I'm struggling to want to do it, to
Speaker 2: the desire to do it, and I feel like that's
Speaker 2: a I feel like it's a problem. And I also
Speaker 2: realized that God, but my heart is in your hands.
Speaker 2: Will you soften my heart? Will you open up these
Speaker 2: pages where you open up this word, so that so
Speaker 2: that I crave it, so that I long for it,
Speaker 2: so I thirst for it like a dear thirst for
Speaker 2: living waters. You know, I want that. I want that
Speaker 2: from me. I want to I want to desire this,
Speaker 2: will you open up that for me? God? And then
Speaker 2: at that point, Austin, you're not going, Okay, Genesis one,
Speaker 2: here we go. Now You're like, so I'm gonna start
Speaker 2: with these first couple of paragraphs of John one. In
Speaker 2: the beginning was the Word, and the word is with God,
Speaker 2: and then the word was God. He was in the
Speaker 2: beginning with God. And you're just kind of working through that,
Speaker 2: and then you stop and you pray, you read it again.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll say what I mean, five to ten minutes. Yeah,
Speaker 2: close the Bible the next morning, picking up where you
Speaker 2: left off, same prayer. Yeah, second chapter. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: just just slowly, aim lower. That's what I'm trying to
Speaker 2: tell you, aim lowered, to stop thinking about finishing the
Speaker 2: Bible and closing the back of Revelation and going I
Speaker 2: did it, I did it. Shock it up for another one,
Speaker 2: for another person that's read the Bible. Don't be that guy, Austin.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna shut up and let Marshall guide on this. No.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think all that's good man, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to repeat anything Grander said, So I'll just
Speaker 1: try to add a couple of other practical stuff I
Speaker 1: would encourage you to find somebody who's a little more
Speaker 1: mature in the faith than you will be. And that's
Speaker 1: not saying you're immature. That's just saying we all have
Speaker 1: people who are more mature. I have more people in
Speaker 1: my lives who are more mature believers than I am,
Speaker 1: and so I go and I am discipled by them.
Speaker 1: But when you read scripture with somebody else, there's something
Speaker 1: different that happens, right because you start it's now a
Speaker 1: it's like a three person conversation, like God is speaking,
Speaker 1: and then you're with this other person kind of talking
Speaker 1: about what God is saying, and one that helps hold
Speaker 1: you accountable to actually doing it. But more importantly, they
Speaker 1: might see something that you don't, not something new, not
Speaker 1: something that's like hidden in between the verses, but where
Speaker 1: you they they'll say, do you realize what he's saying here?
Speaker 1: He's actually connecting it back to this And then you're going, oh, wow,
Speaker 1: I never made that connection. That's helpful. Little stuff like
Speaker 1: that then starts feeding that appetite for the word. I mean,
Speaker 1: if you think about eating healthy like the stuff that
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be eating, nobody just jumps dives in it.
Speaker 1: Nobody over eats the healthy stuff, right. But the more
Speaker 1: you cut out junk and the more you start picking
Speaker 1: up the healthy stuff, you start craving it a little
Speaker 1: bit more. And so there's a sense of the more
Speaker 1: you do it, the hungrier you'll get for it. Like
Speaker 1: Grangeer was saying, but I think when you have somebody
Speaker 1: else doing it with you, that that helps kind of
Speaker 1: grow that hunger and that desire for it. And then
Speaker 1: you know, I hope you're in church. If you're not
Speaker 1: gonna encourage you get in church, but if you can,
Speaker 1: if there's a way to do it, figure out what's
Speaker 1: getting preached the next Sunday. So like at our church,
Speaker 1: what I try to do is on Tuesday or Wednesdays
Speaker 1: earlier on Tuesdays, I try to send out, hey, this
Speaker 1: is the sermon text that is coming on Sunday. And
Speaker 1: the reason I'm doing this because I'm praying that the
Speaker 1: church throughout the week is reading that passage and so
Speaker 1: that might be you might read that same passage every
Speaker 1: single day. And what you're doing at that point is
Speaker 1: you're trying to see, Okay, what is this text saying,
Speaker 1: and how's the pastor going to preach this techt like,
Speaker 1: what are some things he might be pulling out of this?
Speaker 1: And I mean, in fact, what we try to do
Speaker 1: is we actually try to give out two months worth
Speaker 1: of texts, So, hey, this is a schedule we're going through.
Speaker 1: So the people should be reading those things to get
Speaker 1: an understanding of what it is. And so if you're
Speaker 1: able to in your church, figure out what the next
Speaker 1: sermon text is and use that as kind of your
Speaker 1: guide of what to be reading, and then maybe read
Speaker 1: the passages around it. So if he's preaching ten verses,
Speaker 1: read twenty of them and kind of see what's happening
Speaker 1: around it and use that for your guide of what
Speaker 1: you're going to be reading. That way, you don't set
Speaker 1: unrealistic goals for yourself. If you've never read the Bible
Speaker 1: in depth before and you go, all right, this year,
Speaker 1: I'm going the entire cover to cover. Yeah, that's like
Speaker 1: saying I've never swam before when I'm diving in the
Speaker 1: deep end from the high dive, like we're going, and
Speaker 1: you're just like, that's not gonna be successful. You got
Speaker 1: to you gotta ease yourself into it.
Speaker 2: So I smiled earlier because I was just thinking Austin.
Speaker 2: First of all, I'm encouraged by your email. Thank you
Speaker 2: for this, But man, I pray, I pray that people
Speaker 2: come to me. Any believer would think the same thing.
Speaker 2: In your community right now in North Georgia, any believer
Speaker 2: is praying that somebody like you would call them or
Speaker 2: text him and go, I really want to read the Bible?
Speaker 2: Would you do that with me? Oh? Man? Like, so
Speaker 2: much of the the work I did, the evangelistic work
Speaker 2: I do, is ground up stuff, or it's from from
Speaker 2: people that don't want it, or they're rejecting God and
Speaker 2: they and they come to me with these questions, these
Speaker 2: like apologetic questions, and it's more rare that someone's like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I think this is important. I'm hungry.
Speaker 2: Will you will you walk this with me? And every
Speaker 2: believer in North Georgia says yes, I will. I will.
Speaker 2: How about tomorrow? How about coffee tomorrow? So you know,
Speaker 2: if you're looking to get a hold of me, maybe
Speaker 2: have me send you a message you know that's available
Speaker 2: to you right now at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith
Speaker 2: if you want a personal message, Happy birthday, happy anniversary,
Speaker 2: maybe a bit of encouragement maybe even a prayer. I
Speaker 2: could do that and you could find me. You could
Speaker 2: tell me exactly what you need from me. You could
Speaker 2: write it out. Hey, Granger, it's my brother's birthday. He's
Speaker 2: doing this and that he's into this, He's not into that,
Speaker 2: he's turning this many years old. Would you please wish
Speaker 2: him a happy birthday? And I'll do that right here
Speaker 2: on my phone. I record it and send you the
Speaker 2: video message of me saying that. You can get that
Speaker 2: at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith anytime. In fact,
Speaker 2: I do these all the time. Again, it's cameo dot
Speaker 2: com slash Granger Smith. You could also download the cameo
Speaker 2: app and search for me Granger Smith. Next question comes
Speaker 2: from Nicole. It says, Hey, I'd like to get your
Speaker 2: input on the practice of manifestation. I have a friend
Speaker 2: who recently started a new business venture that focuses on
Speaker 2: manifesting yourself, ridding yourself of negative energy, and embracing the
Speaker 2: power of your body to heal. While I personally believe
Speaker 2: Jesus is the only answer, I'm having a hard time
Speaker 2: processing what this new outspoken belief system of my friend
Speaker 2: does for our friendship. Should I let it change the
Speaker 2: relationship that we have. I find myself slightly pulling away
Speaker 2: from that relationship because how can you be close to
Speaker 2: someone who has such a different foundational belief? Is it
Speaker 2: wrong for me to step back from a friendship due
Speaker 2: to differences of opinion? I want to surround myself with
Speaker 2: godly like minded people who can encourage and help me grow.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to take to hear your approach on this
Speaker 2: friendship and also the practice of manifestation itself. Nicole. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Marshall.
Speaker 2: We don't have like a ton of time on this,
Speaker 2: and so we don't and I don't think it really
Speaker 2: needs a lot of time. But one red flag, Nicole,
Speaker 2: that you have recognized, and maybe you don't even realize it,
Speaker 2: but your friend is starting a new business venture that's
Speaker 2: focusing on this. Like that sid says something right there.
Speaker 2: This is not like a faith thing or something that
Speaker 2: she's really It doesn't sound like she's something she's really
Speaker 2: finding comfort in and practicing. She's starting a business venture
Speaker 2: and there's big business in this. Manifesting yourself, ridding yourself
Speaker 2: of negative energy, embracing the power of yourself to heal yourself.
Speaker 2: You know, like those are all just huge red flags
Speaker 2: for a Christian and I feel like you know that.
Speaker 2: And I don't really think you have to hear from
Speaker 2: me and Marshall on why we think that is an
Speaker 2: unhealthy thing, So we won't. I don't think we need
Speaker 2: to go there. What we can do is talk about
Speaker 2: the middle part of your question is saying you're talking
Speaker 2: about the relationship with your friend, and you want to
Speaker 2: be around people that are encouraging you and and helping
Speaker 2: your belief and helping you grow. And to that, I say,
Speaker 2: this is why the Bible will warn us, especially as
Speaker 2: new believers or ones that are weaker in the faith,
Speaker 2: to be careful when we are associating with these new ideas,
Speaker 2: because when you hear basically, this is a myth right.
Speaker 2: So when we hear these myths, we could drift off
Speaker 2: into this nonsense and actually start believing it ourselves if
Speaker 2: we're around it too much. That's a warning. If you're
Speaker 2: newer or weaker in your faith. If that's not you, Nicole,
Speaker 2: and you're like, no, you know, I feel strong in
Speaker 2: my faith, then this is definitely an evangelistic opportunity for
Speaker 2: you that you don't want to cut off necessarily you
Speaker 2: don't want to say, hey, I don't believe in that stuff,
Speaker 2: and because of that, I can't even talk to you.
Speaker 2: I don't even want to be friends with you. That's
Speaker 2: not a good thing. That's not a good message to
Speaker 2: your friend. And it's really if she's dying in this,
Speaker 2: which she is, and you're cutting off a lifeline to
Speaker 2: her by saying, you know what, I just don't agree
Speaker 2: with what you're saying, and I don't want it to
Speaker 2: start affecting me. Well, discourage that. So these are the
Speaker 2: two scenarios for her, and I don't know really which
Speaker 2: one she is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I just think when we have people who
Speaker 1: are close to this in our lives to start chasing
Speaker 1: a different a myth chasing, chasing a myth, chasing false teaching. Basically,
Speaker 1: the guardrails we have is don't embrace it, don't ignore it,
Speaker 1: but engage with with them.
Speaker 2: So don't cut them off.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, don't cut them off. Don't cut her off,
Speaker 1: but you also don't interact with her in a way
Speaker 1: where you're like, I just won't talk about religion. I
Speaker 1: won't talk about faith, I won't talk about spirituality, I
Speaker 1: won't I pretend like she has her way, I have
Speaker 1: my way. You want to be able to have the
Speaker 1: conversations with her where she knows you disagree, but you
Speaker 1: can have loving and truthful conversations with her about why
Speaker 1: you disagree, great, and why you're concerned for her soul.
Speaker 2: For this, you can ask her questions like, how do
Speaker 2: you rid yourself of negative energy? Explain that to me.
Speaker 2: It's a great conversation I started with someone like this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But on the flip side too, I think it
Speaker 1: also means you're putting in the effort outside of that
Speaker 1: relationship to grow and you're understanding better of what you
Speaker 1: believe so that you're not carried away, Yes, by this
Speaker 1: other teaching. So this, this friendship now may require even
Speaker 1: more effort than it did previously because outside of it,
Speaker 1: you're trying to equip yourself and strengthen yourself to engage
Speaker 1: with her in a meaningful, loving, but direct way when
Speaker 1: it comes to this issue, because it isn't just could
Speaker 1: ruin our friendship or I don't want to rock the boat,
Speaker 1: but instead it's, uh, this is extremely dangerous for her
Speaker 1: soul and for those she's influencing, And so you want
Speaker 1: to you want to treat her in love with the truth,
Speaker 1: and and and pray that the Lord would would help
Speaker 1: her to see the truth and help you grow in
Speaker 1: the truth.
Speaker 2: So that's all we got. I love you, guess see
Speaker 2: you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.
Speaker 2: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
Speaker 2: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 2: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
Speaker 2: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I
Speaker 2: upload a video. If you have a question for me
Speaker 2: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. Yie