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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.

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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stuff Mom Never told you?

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Speaker 1: From house Stop works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline, and today is

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Speaker 1: part two of our overview of sex education in the

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Speaker 1: United States of America, and last time on the podcast,

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Speaker 1: we gave an overview of how sex said curriculum developed

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Speaker 1: in American schools and gave some stats at the end

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Speaker 1: to talk about whether or not it's effective, because the

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Speaker 1: point of sex education is to preventing pregnancy, lower rates

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Speaker 1: of STI contraction, and lower the rates of HIV and

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Speaker 1: AIDS contraction as well. Right, And what we touched on

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Speaker 1: last time was basically that despite having so much money

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Speaker 1: in this country poured into sex education or abstinence education

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Speaker 1: for our kids, we have one of the highest rates

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Speaker 1: in the world of team pregnancy and s t I S.

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Speaker 1: So something there's a disconnect somewhere, yes, Right, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of times the knee jerk blame goes to sex said,

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Speaker 1: and especially abstinence only sex education, which is the predominant

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Speaker 1: form of sex said that kids are getting in public schools.

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Speaker 1: Private schools are a different matter because private schools can

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Speaker 1: kind of do what they want. Um. But when it

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Speaker 1: comes to public schools, abstinence is typically the law of

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Speaker 1: the land. But to give you an idea of the

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Speaker 1: difference between abstinence only education and abstinence plus education, which

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Speaker 1: is also taught in public schools and is also synonymous

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Speaker 1: with comprehensive sex education, abstinence only promotes abstinence from sex

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Speaker 1: obvious slee um, it doesn't acknowledge that many teenagers will

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Speaker 1: become sexually active, kind of disregards the whole sex for

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Speaker 1: pleasure and exploration and hormonal drives and things like that. Um.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't typically teach about contraception or condom use, avoids

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Speaker 1: discussions of abortion, and sites sexually transmitted diseases in HIV

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Speaker 1: as reasons to remain abstinent. Whereas abstinence plus also promotes

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Speaker 1: abstinence from sex because yes, that is the only one

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Speaker 1: cent fool proof form of birth control. But it also

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Speaker 1: acknowledges that, you know what, a lot of teens are

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Speaker 1: going to become sexually active at some point, and they

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Speaker 1: will teach them about contraception and condom use as well

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Speaker 1: as abortion, STDs, and HIV Right and Douglas Kirby in

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Speaker 1: Emerging Answers two thousand seven, which is sort of it's

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Speaker 1: it's a big overview of a lot of studies about

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Speaker 1: sex said. Um writes that after looking at all these studies,

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Speaker 1: it's clear that preventing STDs among our young people wires

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Speaker 1: a more complex approach than either don't have sex or

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Speaker 1: if you have sex, use a condom. Um. In addition

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Speaker 1: to promoting abstinence and condom use, programs to prevent STDs

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Speaker 1: can and should infant emphasize reducing the number of sexual partners,

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Speaker 1: avoiding concurrent sexual partners, increasing the number of weeks or

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Speaker 1: months between sexual partners, and getting tested for and seeking

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Speaker 1: treatment for STDs. So so there's a lot of it's

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Speaker 1: it's multifaceted. Basically, in an ideal world sex said would

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Speaker 1: I think maybe touch on a lot of these different

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Speaker 1: topics to really arm kids with the information they need,

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Speaker 1: because the fact of the matter is that, yes, in

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Speaker 1: the teenage years, chances are people will become sexually active. Uh. Statistically,

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Speaker 1: by your nineteenth birthday, seven and ten teens of both

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Speaker 1: sexes have had intercourse Um and one in four teens

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Speaker 1: in the United States who is sexually active will contract

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Speaker 1: an s T I and one, and for college students

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Speaker 1: will contract an SCI during those college years, especially HPV,

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Speaker 1: which we've talked about a lot on the podcast. And

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Speaker 1: there are concerns too amongst sex educators that with the

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Speaker 1: hook up culture that predominates the sexual landscape among younger people,

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Speaker 1: younger singles, uh, that not having a more comprehensive sex

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Speaker 1: said approach is really kind of sending them into the

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Speaker 1: lions down right. I kind of have this this idea

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Speaker 1: in my mind that comprehensive sex said is sort of

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Speaker 1: vilified in our society. And I got me thinking about

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Speaker 1: what is the mainstream public actually thinking, What are parents, teachers,

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Speaker 1: and even kids themselves thinking about sex ed? And I

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Speaker 1: found that, um, a lot of the mainstream public thinking

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Speaker 1: is that we do need more of a comprehensive sex

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Speaker 1: education program and that UM abstinence only policy and programs

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Speaker 1: that have roots in particular religious viewpoints are often at

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Speaker 1: odds with that mainstream thinking. Well, I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of times the reason that um, you know, there there's

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Speaker 1: kind of a confusion about sex ed and and that

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Speaker 1: vilification of comprehensive sex ed is because we tend to

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Speaker 1: uh to maybe think that comprehensive sex that is promoting sex.

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Speaker 1: The act of sex is saying, hey, you know what, kids,

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Speaker 1: go out, have fun, start a revolution with your bodies.

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Speaker 1: But that's not the case. I mean, you have to

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Speaker 1: you have to separate it and realize that actually sex

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Speaker 1: ed is promoting prevention rather than uh, just a free

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Speaker 1: for all. Right, And one thing I found in uh

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Speaker 1: the Emerging Answers study was that surveys consistently show that

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Speaker 1: the public wants schools to deliver strong abstinence messages alongside

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Speaker 1: information about self protection for young people. So they want, yes,

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Speaker 1: they want their kids to be abstaining from sex and

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Speaker 1: wait until they're mentally, physically, emotionally prepared for it, which

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Speaker 1: is smart. But you know, kids are hormonal and we

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Speaker 1: have a sex driven society, so there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: exploration and curiosity that happens. Kids find themselves in certain

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Speaker 1: sexual situations. Shouldn't they be shouldn't they have this information

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Speaker 1: at hand exactly? And information at hand given to them

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Speaker 1: in the safe confines of a school classroom. Well, we

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Speaker 1: hope it's a safe, safe classroom. Um, Rather than having

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Speaker 1: to seek out that information on their own, cobbulet together

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Speaker 1: from what they hear from peers, what they can gather

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Speaker 1: from the internet, you know, the internet. Uh, because I

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Speaker 1: mean they'll they'll figure they'll figure things out if they

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Speaker 1: if they want to. Not to make myself sound like

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Speaker 1: a a scary old lady, yes, and to continue the

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Speaker 1: theme of trying to scare people, um uh. This New

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Speaker 1: York Times article that we talked about last time mentioned

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Speaker 1: a sex education conference where it was brought up that

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Speaker 1: a lot of kids who aren't get most of their

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Speaker 1: information from school or their parents are actually getting a

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Speaker 1: lot of their sexual and relationship information from porn which

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Speaker 1: they pointed out is not a good thing because you know,

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Speaker 1: they talked to one kid who was in the sex

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Speaker 1: side class and he was like, yeah, being in this

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Speaker 1: comprehensive sexual education class really taught me that there is

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Speaker 1: more to sexual relationships than just having the woman try

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Speaker 1: to please you. And so uh, the idea of like

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Speaker 1: young people just finding out about sex and relationships from pornography,

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Speaker 1: which is which is so accessible now, that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: Pornography used to not be obviously as accessible. I mean

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Speaker 1: you could maybe find you know, the old cliche dead

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Speaker 1: stash dobld you know, dirty rags. But aside from that,

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Speaker 1: you know. But now, man, it is you sit on

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Speaker 1: the internet, different world out there that we're living in. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And then and another thing too, uh that the critics

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Speaker 1: of absinence only education UM will bring up. It's the

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Speaker 1: fact that a lot of populations, team populations are really

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Speaker 1: left out of that kind of education. It's overlooking their

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Speaker 1: specific needs because a lot of times, I mean, as

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Speaker 1: you can imagine, education that basically boxes you into a heteronormative,

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Speaker 1: monogamous heterosexual marriage, married relationship is not all inclusive, right UM.

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Speaker 1: A March two thousand to study called Abstinence Only versus

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Speaker 1: Comprehensive Sex Education of pretty straightforward title UM says that

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Speaker 1: abstinence only education really leaves out big chunks of our

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Speaker 1: young people, UM, including men who are having sex with

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Speaker 1: other men, homeless youth and runaways, bisexuals, transgendered individuals, drug

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Speaker 1: users and injection drug users, victims of sexual abuse, mentally

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Speaker 1: ill youth and young people, and the penal or foster

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Speaker 1: care systems. All of these young people are at a

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Speaker 1: an elevated risk of contracting HIV, but they're not really

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Speaker 1: included in this traditional UM abstinence education the point and

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Speaker 1: also according to research from the Gootmaker Institute, black and

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Speaker 1: Latino teens are at higher risk than their white counterparts

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Speaker 1: do have unplanned pregnancies and contract STDs. And that's one

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Speaker 1: of the reasons why, for instance, the New York City

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Speaker 1: Public Schools Justice past August announced that it would start

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Speaker 1: requiring middle and high school students to take sex education

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Speaker 1: classes with curriculum that discusses condom use, appropriate intra sexual

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Speaker 1: activity UM and more under that abstinence plus umbrella, right,

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Speaker 1: and I want to go back and focus on only

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Speaker 1: abstinence only for a minute. UM. From that emerging answers

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Speaker 1: two thousand seven study, UH Douglas Kirby rights that at present,

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Speaker 1: there is no strong evidence that any abstinence program delays

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Speaker 1: the initiation of sex, hastens the return to abstinence, or

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Speaker 1: reduces the number of sexual partners. UM. I did would

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Speaker 1: read that virginity pledges can delay the first sexual the

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Speaker 1: first sexual intercourse, but not forever, and it's typically I

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Speaker 1: think the average was eighteen months, right. And I think

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Speaker 1: what's interesting about virginity pledges UM is that it seems

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Speaker 1: that they're effective when you're part of a small select

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Speaker 1: group making the pledge, like you feel like you're included

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Speaker 1: in this group and you've got your friends backing you up.

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Speaker 1: But if the group is too small, if it's just

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Speaker 1: you and your best friend, if it's too big, it's

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Speaker 1: you in your whole city committing to never having sex

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Speaker 1: before marriage. Um, it doesn't work as well. It's not

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Speaker 1: as effective. So maybe in a youth group situation it

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Speaker 1: could be effective or something along those lines, um, But

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Speaker 1: in bigger or smaller situations, it doesn't really change. See

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Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. Yeah, and and that the thing is

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Speaker 1: too um. Like you said, they might have a little

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Speaker 1: bit of a delaying affect, a motivator for uh, for

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Speaker 1: teens to delay sexual activity until they feel like they're

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Speaker 1: more ready to do so, which is a good thing.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, studies have found that ultimately

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Speaker 1: even kids who take those virginity pledges are equally as

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Speaker 1: likely to contract and STD as their non pledging peers.

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Speaker 1: And just again, like I want to really underscore the

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Speaker 1: fact that we're not saying that abstinence should not be

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Speaker 1: taught in classrooms. Absolutely abstinence should be taught in classrooms

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Speaker 1: definitely be an option for kids. Yeah, um, and it

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be uncool to not be having sex. Um, but

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Speaker 1: it should be part of, you know, of the broader

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Speaker 1: and more realistic conversation because going back to that initial

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Speaker 1: statistic that we tossed out, by the age of nineteen,

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Speaker 1: a majority of kids have had intercourse and should they

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Speaker 1: not be more prepared? Um And and the CDC gave

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Speaker 1: a offered a breakdown of the different types of topics

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Speaker 1: that are and aren't addressed in absinence only courses, which

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Speaker 1: a lot of times for a lot of middle and

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Speaker 1: high schools, really consists of a few hours in the

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Speaker 1: classroom in the entire year. I mean, like I mentioned

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Speaker 1: in the first Uh Sex Said podcast, my sex said

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Speaker 1: in high school lasted about ten minutes in biology class

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Speaker 1: one day. And I don't even really remember if I

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Speaker 1: had any at all. Yeah, I don't think I did.

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Speaker 1: So just for an example, uh, this is in pregnancy

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Speaker 1: prevention curriculum UM in public schools in the United States,

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Speaker 1: in high school, six of those kids will learn about

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Speaker 1: condom efficacy, whether or not condoms work, how often they

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Speaker 1: work awesome, And yet only thirty eight point five percent

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Speaker 1: learn how to correctly use a condom, which it seems

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Speaker 1: like those should go hand in hand one with things

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Speaker 1: like I know the sink can work for something, but

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Speaker 1: if only I could get it on right, because I

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Speaker 1: keep filling it with water and throwing it at people

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Speaker 1: not working. Um. Only just under sixty percent will learn

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Speaker 1: about methods of contraception. Uh, A lot more emphasis on

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Speaker 1: risks associated with team pregnancy, resisting peer pressure to engage

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Speaker 1: in sexual behavior, social cultural influences on sexual behavior, all

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Speaker 1: of those things, which are again, yes it's important, but

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Speaker 1: there's so much too sex beyond just teen pregnancy, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's I mean health safety, all of those things. Um.

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Speaker 1: And you know, many abstinence programs improve have been shown

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Speaker 1: to improve teens values about abstinence and their intentions to

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Speaker 1: remain abstinent, but the improvements didn't always stick um, and

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Speaker 1: didn't always translate into changes in behavior. Like going back

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Speaker 1: to the virginity pledge thing. When I was in eighth grade,

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Speaker 1: my math tutor, my algebra tutor, tried to get me

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Speaker 1: to sign one of those pledges. She was a senior,

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Speaker 1: I believe, and you know she she gave up big

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Speaker 1: speech about it and then gave me a piece of

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Speaker 1: paper to sign, and I, as a fourteen year old,

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Speaker 1: was like, well, I mean, I don't plan to have

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Speaker 1: sex tomorrow, but jeez, I can't promise you that I'm

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Speaker 1: going to wait until I get married. Who knows when

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Speaker 1: that's gonna be. Here're very you're very pragmatic fourteen year old.

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Speaker 1: I'm also a genius um and very humble. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I I think it's great if you have

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Speaker 1: these intentions and you are self aware. But I think

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Speaker 1: you can be self aware about not having sex, and

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Speaker 1: you can be self aware about what it might happen

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Speaker 1: one day. I just want to be ready for it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think that's why. There was one study that

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Speaker 1: we ran across UM looking at the efficacy of abstinence

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Speaker 1: only programs, and they said that, yeah, they can. They

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Speaker 1: can be really effective when they're tailored to specific community

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Speaker 1: groups and they don't uh, you know, criticize contraception, birth

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Speaker 1: control and things like that. It's not like abstinence through

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Speaker 1: the highway, uh right, Well, comprehensive sex said, as opposed

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Speaker 1: to abstinence only, it acknowledges that teens will become many teens,

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Speaker 1: not all obviously many teens will become sexually active, and

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Speaker 1: it teaches about contraception economies, like we said, And one

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Speaker 1: study showed that two thirds of the forty eight comprehensive

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Speaker 1: programs that supported both abstinence and the use of condoms

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Speaker 1: and contraceptives had positive behavioral effects. Yeah, meaning that now

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Speaker 1: that these kids knew about st d S and pregnancy

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Speaker 1: and all that stuff, perhaps they could use that information

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Speaker 1: and avoid those things. Uh, and let's offer up some

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Speaker 1: some positive news. We've kind of been We've been a

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Speaker 1: little little downer ish so far. But here's the thing. Uh,

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Speaker 1: National Survey of Family Growth from the CDC this year

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Speaker 1: two thousand eleven reported that team pregnancy has dropped from

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Speaker 1: two thousand nine. And now at this point, I have

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Speaker 1: a feeling a number of listeners are saying thirty seven percent.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty significant. You gals are crazy. I've u slee

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Speaker 1: Absence only education is totally working. Will. The Goodmocker Institute

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Speaker 1: says that a majority six percent of the decline and

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Speaker 1: team pregnancy rate, and this is between ninety five and

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Speaker 1: two thousand two, so it's just a chunk of that

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Speaker 1: time was the result of dramatic improvements in contraceptive use

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Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily mean it's because kids are not um kids.

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Speaker 1: Because these adolescence, these teenagers are not having sex, because

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Speaker 1: eight out of ten teen males used a condom the

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Speaker 1: first time they had sex, which is up nine percent

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Speaker 1: since two thousand two. So we're learning something along the way.

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Speaker 1: Where where they're learning about economy use, that's the question,

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Speaker 1: because you know, only under forty of them are learning

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Speaker 1: anything about how to put on a condom in high school. Right.

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Speaker 1: You would hope that they're having conversations with their parents,

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Speaker 1: but I know that's not always the case either. And

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Speaker 1: but I mean a lot of parents, uh in in surveys,

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Speaker 1: national surveys, UM support all of these conversations happening in school.

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Speaker 1: And that was because having to do to the dinner table, right,

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Speaker 1: And I mean there's nothing not that there's anything wrong

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Speaker 1: with that. I mean parents should parent and talk to

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Speaker 1: their kids and feel like it's okay to be the

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Speaker 1: adult and talk to your kid about sex and whatever

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Speaker 1: and being careful um. But you know, it's good to

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Speaker 1: encourage that conversation to happen in school too. I think

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Speaker 1: absolutely wherever they can get it, you know, I mean

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Speaker 1: wherever they can get that information. That's that's not UM

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Speaker 1: from from Cosmo or the internet, right, yeah, please don't

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Speaker 1: get your information from Cosmo. UM. A survey commissioned by

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Speaker 1: the Kaiser Family Foundation UM show that of parents who responded,

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Speaker 1: that's almost all of them say they want HIV and

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Speaker 1: AIDS discussed in sex head classes and want how to

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Speaker 1: use condoms discussed. So that's a lot of parents who

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Speaker 1: want how to use them to discussed and not a

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Speaker 1: lot of how to use condoms discussed being discussed. But

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Speaker 1: we can't. But speaking of parents though, to me, the

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Speaker 1: take home from all of this information about sex said

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Speaker 1: of you know, does absinence only work? Does abstinence plus work?

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Speaker 1: What do we tell kids? We still the United States

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Speaker 1: still has one of the highest team pregnancy rates in

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Speaker 1: the developed world. What's going on? Um? And really the

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Speaker 1: takeaway is, I mean, the best thing that you can

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Speaker 1: do as a parent is talk to your kids about

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Speaker 1: sex at home and from an early age. Yeah, age,

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Speaker 1: use age appropriate conversation, right, and my and talking about sex.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about sexuality just you know, like kids get

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Speaker 1: curious about different body parts. How does this work? What

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Speaker 1: does that do? UM? You know, it's not all birds

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Speaker 1: and the bees. Yeah, don't leave them alone with their

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Speaker 1: Barbie dolls and Ken dolls. Explain, Explain what's going on

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Speaker 1: in that men don't actually have just a smooth, plastic

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Speaker 1: crotriot like Canada. UH. For instance, the Mayo Clinic advises

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Speaker 1: UH that even by the age of three or four, UM,

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Speaker 1: this is when kids will start to notice, children start

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Speaker 1: to notice that their bodies are perhaps different from other

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Speaker 1: bodies into um, you know, to really address any kind

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Speaker 1: of natural curiosity that they might have. UM and even

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Speaker 1: if you're kind of uncomfortable with it, because yes, of course,

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Speaker 1: talking about sexuality to UH to your children, I am sure.

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Speaker 1: I can't speak from experience, but being that child and

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Speaker 1: having my parents talked to me when I was almost twelve,

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Speaker 1: UM was kind of unnerving but memorable, you know, And

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Speaker 1: I think, and I'm glad that my mom did it right,

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Speaker 1: even though I was like, whoa lady, Well I read

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Speaker 1: I don't I read that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

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Speaker 1: tell their kids sometimes that mom and dad are going

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Speaker 1: off to kiss. So like, you know, your kids are

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Speaker 1: aware things happen, birds and bees and whatnot. But and

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Speaker 1: that's more age appropriate for little kids, you know, when

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Speaker 1: they start asking like where babies come from and how

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Speaker 1: our babies made, maybe it's time to be a little

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Speaker 1: more specific than kissing well, and by fostering that conversation.

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Speaker 1: Planned parenthood, you know, says that talking to kids about

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Speaker 1: sexuality is a lifelong conversation and if you start it early,

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Speaker 1: then hopefully the goal is that you create an open

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Speaker 1: enough atmosphere at home. But if your child has a question,

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Speaker 1: then they can they can ask you, right and you know,

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Speaker 1: talking about parents, conversation with parents and conversations at school.

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Speaker 1: I do think it's interesting that no comprehensive program that

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Speaker 1: was studied was shown to hasten the initiation of sex

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Speaker 1: or have the result of increased frequency of sex, which

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Speaker 1: is what a lot of people fear, like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: if we talk about sex and tell them that columns

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Speaker 1: are available, they're all just going to run out and

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Speaker 1: do it, which is not the case. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't remember. I mean, I'm trying to think about sex

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Speaker 1: and if I had it at all, but I mean,

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Speaker 1: I just don't. I think if you're telling kids about STDs,

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Speaker 1: they're not I mean, the two things are connected. I

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Speaker 1: don't think they learned about STDs and they want to

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Speaker 1: go have sex. You should just give them the information

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Speaker 1: to protect themselves and UM. And it's also difficult to

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Speaker 1: quantify whether or not UM certain programs are effective because

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Speaker 1: it's you know what what's the UH, you know, what's

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Speaker 1: your your measurement, what are your goal posts for that?

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Speaker 1: So UM. One study that I found that I thought

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Speaker 1: was a nice comparison UM looked at sex education programs

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Speaker 1: in the United States UM and teen pregnancy rates and

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Speaker 1: teen s TI contraction rates in the US UH compared

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Speaker 1: against other developed countries. And this is in two thousand

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Speaker 1: five and it's US versus France, Netherlands, and Australia. And

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Speaker 1: they found that the average age of the first intercourse

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Speaker 1: was about the same for each country. Kids were having

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Speaker 1: you know, same same sex as, same amounts of sex,

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Speaker 1: same sex and same sexes UM. But the analysis indicated

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Speaker 1: that France, Netherlands, and Australia offered these more pragmatic and

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Speaker 1: sex positive courses and as a result, they tended to

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Speaker 1: have better sexual health related statistics than UH the United

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Speaker 1: States that had a primary primarily sexually absinent based policy. Right, Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean I don't think that. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: just feel like some programs can maybe make sex out

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Speaker 1: to be this this big, bad, awful, scary thing that

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Speaker 1: you should avoid, and because it is, because it's all prevention,

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Speaker 1: it's you don't don't get babies, don't get HIV, don't

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Speaker 1: get don't get babies, don't get babies, don't just go

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Speaker 1: picking up babies. Um. But maybe, I mean, maybe if

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Speaker 1: we fostered a better, more healthy attitude and not that

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Speaker 1: you know, please don't think that I'm saying that abstinence

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Speaker 1: is an unhealthy attitude. But if we fostered a a

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Speaker 1: more open discussion, if we had healthier attitudes in terms

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Speaker 1: of being honest with our kids, uh and our our students,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe maybe kids would have better attitudes about

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Speaker 1: sex and not think of it as this thing that

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Speaker 1: they have to sneak around. You know. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think at some point, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: teens and sex, adolescents and sex will always be kind

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Speaker 1: of taboo. Sure, because you want to protect you want

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Speaker 1: to protect young people. You know, you don't want them

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Speaker 1: exposed to obviously diseases or emotional turmoil or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: But I just feel like, and I don't mean to

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Speaker 1: sound defeatist, but I just think it's inevitable that teenagers

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Speaker 1: are going to have sex. Yeah, a lot of them,

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Speaker 1: a lot of them. And um, although the percentage of

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Speaker 1: kids who are having sex I think UM between the

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Speaker 1: ages of fifteen and nineteen has steadily declined in the

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Speaker 1: US since the late eighties, but yes, it's still happening.

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Speaker 1: And UM. I will say that the healthcare form legislation

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Speaker 1: that the Obama administration passed did include UM hundred and

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Speaker 1: fourteen point five million dollar allocation for a team pregnancy

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Speaker 1: prevention program through the Office of Adolescent Health that wanted

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Speaker 1: to provide for more of that abstinence plus education because

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Speaker 1: there are some states, which we mentioned in the last podcasts,

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Speaker 1: there are actually a number of states that are beginning

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Speaker 1: to and already have refused the federal funding for abstinence

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Speaker 1: only education. And states that have rejected federal abstinence only

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Speaker 1: funds generally cite concerns about the efficacy and accuracy of

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Speaker 1: the curricula. Because one thing that I read over and

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Speaker 1: over again was that a lot of and not all,

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Speaker 1: a lot of abstinence only programs use somewhat inaccurate information

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Speaker 1: and sometimes scare tactics about condoms. They've they've taken a

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Speaker 1: couple of studies that that show, you know, condoms aren't

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Speaker 1: the best, you know, the most effective form of birth control,

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Speaker 1: and are maybe inflating those negative results to make it

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Speaker 1: seem like, oh, well, tough love, you just better never

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Speaker 1: have sex in your life. So, I mean, I think

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Speaker 1: there's there's definitely concerns out there about some of the

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Speaker 1: abstinence only curricula. Well here, why don't I put it

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Speaker 1: in some pretty harsh terms from a two thousand and

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Speaker 1: ten study from Sexuality Research and Social Policy at the

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Speaker 1: University of California, which concluded that absinence only until marriage

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Speaker 1: sex education programs fail to change sexual behavior, provide an

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Speaker 1: accurate information about condoms, and even violate human rights principles. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: harsh verdict students right to know things and teachers right

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Speaker 1: to answer questions and tell them that information. And um,

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Speaker 1: I would really like to hear from from sex educators

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Speaker 1: out there, because a what a difficult job that has

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Speaker 1: to be. You have to walk a very fun line,

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Speaker 1: I would think, sure, especially if you're in uh, in

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Speaker 1: a public school. Um So I'm kind of curious to

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Speaker 1: know how sex educators handle that and and work to

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Speaker 1: educate kids. Um, and whether or not kids in classrooms

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Speaker 1: really want to know, because yeah, sure, especially if like

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Speaker 1: you're in middle school or even elementary school, kids can

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Speaker 1: get very uncomfortable and giggly when you start talking about

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Speaker 1: these kinds of things. So UM, I'm yes, I'm impressed

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00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 1: with the with the work that sex sex educators are doing. Um,

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00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: I'd like to know what listeners sex that experiences were

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00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: because I can barely remember mine except for an assembly

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00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: I talked about last the last podcast about an assembly

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00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: about AIDS in HIV where actual patients came in and

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00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 1: talk to us. Um. But I don't really remember having

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00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 1: any sort of comprehensive or abstinence only education through my

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00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: way in a in a private school setting. So yeah,

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00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,479
Speaker 1: what are what are our listeners experiences? What did they

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00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: learn anything? Yeah? And do you think it even matters

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00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 1: at this point? Is should we care less about the

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00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: schools and worry more about what's being taught at home? Um?

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00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 1: It's a big questions out there, and I will say

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00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: one more time, folks, we are not saying that ad

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00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 1: and it seems to be tossed out the window. Right,

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00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: We're just saying that perhaps absence plus at least all

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00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: of the studies seem to indicate, might be a better

446
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: way to go. Sure, And I mean I think absolutely

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00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 1: if a teacher, if a sex sid teacher is talking

448
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: to young kids, you absolutely want to put abstinence in

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00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: the pot as far as options, because you want to

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00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 1: make sure kids feel safe saying no if they don't

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00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: feel like if I don't have sex, all my other

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00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: friends are having sex and I don't do it, people

453
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: are gonna think I'm lame and I'm going to be

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00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 1: left out and I'm not gonna be whatever. Like, No,

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00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: you know, young kids should know that abstinence is a

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00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: purely wonderful, you know option. But for those kids who

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00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 1: decide to eventually become sexually active, they need to know

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00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: about contraception, condoms, STDs, the risks and the rewards that

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00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: are out there. Yeah, prevention and preparation. So listeners, send

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00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: us your thoughts. Moms. Stuff at how stuff works dot

461
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: com is the address, and I of one here about

462
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 1: our episode on women and anxiety from Mitch and he writes,

463
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 1: my close friend just had multiple heart attacks. She's twenty

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00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 1: seven works out eats healthier than anyone I know doesn't smoke,

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00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 1: drink alcohol, or use caffeine. Doctors were perplexed by her

466
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: case and trying to put in a stint, they caused

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00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: her to go into cardiac arrest. She was then rushed

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00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: into an emergency open heart surgery. My goodness, a few

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00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: weeks after the surgery, she started having chest pions again,

470
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: and when she went back to the hospital, the staff

471
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,479
Speaker 1: treated her horrifically. They kept suggesting that the pains were

472
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 1: psycho somatic, and a nurse came in and told her,

473
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: you know, you can change a lot of how you

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00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: feel with your mind, and the nurse proceeded to put

475
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: my friend on adavan, anxiety medication that did her more

476
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: harm than good. And even though she just had this

477
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: extremely serious surgery, none of the hospital staff took her seriously.

478
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: And finally she found a doctor that took her symptoms seriously,

479
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: because a seven year old should not have three heart

480
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: attacks and under a week. However, I can't help but

481
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: under if her extremely serious condition would have been taken

482
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: more seriously if she were a man. Good questions we did.

483
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: We touched on that in our podcast about men responses

484
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: to men versus women, as far as anxiety gist. Another

485
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: anxiety email is from Ian. He said, I had one

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00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: full blown panic attack in my life that I was

487
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: afraid was a heart attack. Social anxiety and slight O

488
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: c D. I will set my alarm five times when

489
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: I'm particularly stressed out, or touch the top of door

490
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: jams as I walked through them. Ian, I do the

491
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: thing with the alarm clock all the time. Don't worry,

492
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: I'm with you anyway. Strong social bonds are the thing

493
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: that really keeps it at Bay more than anything else.

494
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: Most of my very close friends live on the West Coast,

495
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: and the times I am more relaxed and not anxious

496
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: or when I get to visit them. Strong social bonds

497
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: are the thing that really keeps it at Bay more

498
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: than anything else. Though most of my very close friends

499
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,239
Speaker 1: live on the West Coast, and the times I am

500
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: most most relaxed and not anxious are when I get

501
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: to visit them, compared to where I live on the

502
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: East Coast, where I've struggled to find meaningful friendships, and

503
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: I think that is correlated with my higher anxiety level here.

504
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: I'm working on it, but it's a slow process, as

505
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: opening up to the new people produces a lot of

506
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: anxiety in me even still. Anyway, it is a little

507
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 1: nerve wracking writing this to complete strangers, but I thought

508
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: i'd share my story as another thing that helps me

509
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: with anxiety is forcing yourself to push your comfort zone

510
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: a bit at a time and subsequently realizing that the

511
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: world did not end. Thank you, Ian, and thank you

512
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,479
Speaker 1: to everyone who has written in and shared their stories

513
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 1: as well at mom Stuff at how stuff works dot com.

514
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: You can also hit us up on Facebook and follow

515
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast, and you can

516
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: check out the blog Dre in the week It's stuff

517
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: Mom Never told You at how stuff works dot com.

518
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: Be sure to check out our new video podcast, Stuff

519
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: from the Future. Join how Stuff Work staff as we

520
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: explore the most promising and perplexing possibilities of tomorrow. The

521
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: hou Stuff Works iPhone app has a ride. Download it

522
00:30:54,240 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: today on iTunes. Brought to you by the reinvented two

523
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: thousand twelve Camrey. It's ready, Are you