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Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

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Speaker 2: She couldn't.

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Speaker 3: She cleaned and cared for her children and the man

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Speaker 3: of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.

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Speaker 1: She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was

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Speaker 1: a good woman who always made good choices.

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Speaker 4: We're good Mom's bad choices.

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Speaker 5: Two single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all

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Speaker 5: their bad choices and.

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Speaker 4: Sound out they were so bad. After all, we're experts,

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Speaker 4: overshares and your new besties.

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Speaker 1: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

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Speaker 2: I can do it.

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Speaker 5: Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices. I'm Nila, I'm Erica,

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Speaker 5: and it's Wednesday. Happy hump Day.

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Speaker 1: Poppy Hemp Gay. Well here I'm doing right now?

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Speaker 4: And what are you doing right now?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something that's gonna piss everybody out.

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Speaker 4: What's that?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna smoke a backwood without weeding it.

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Speaker 4: Oh God, to.

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Speaker 1: Smoke a backwood us like an old man and his cigar. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: have you tried these specifically? I'm not. I think I'm

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Speaker 1: becoming like a real black smoker because the la are

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Speaker 1: aromatic ones.

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Speaker 4: Oh they're good.

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Speaker 1: They taste fucking good. They taste good with just everything

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Speaker 1: that's involved inside of it, not taking out the stuffings,

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Speaker 1: just as God intended this backwards. Specifically, I can smoke

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Speaker 1: in casualness, and this morning or this afternoon, I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I feel like smoking a cigar.

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Speaker 5: You know, I always feel like smoking like a real

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Speaker 5: cigar and a cigar bar because it's just like manly

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Speaker 5: and there's like it just feels like Cuba. I've never

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Speaker 5: been there, but these are the places I feel like

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Speaker 5: smoking cigars and cigar bars amongst the men. Like so

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Speaker 5: I can be cool with cavasier, not just in the

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Speaker 5: morning in my living room, but you know, to each.

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Speaker 1: It's a it's the afternoon.

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Speaker 4: First of all, okay, twelve minutes past.

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Speaker 1: Second of all, I don't reserve cigars for male spaces,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think it's about time that women, you know,

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Speaker 1: I feel like all the men are trying to take

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Speaker 1: over our spaces and like trying to be women do

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Speaker 1: women shit, And so I'm reclaiming. I'm claiming that cigars

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Speaker 1: are for bitches. Cigars are for bitches. I don't know

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Speaker 1: about the men that smoke cigars, but I think that

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Speaker 1: I want to start a cigar smoking club for women.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, there probably is a cigar smoking club

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Speaker 4: for women.

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Speaker 5: We should look into that. Maybe we need to take

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Speaker 5: over a cigar bar. Actually, one time Ashley took me

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Speaker 5: to one and it was a bunch of old niggas

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Speaker 5: and they were on me. You know how much old

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Speaker 5: niggas loved me? And I was really the shit that night.

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Speaker 5: I should really revisit that. I'm gonna go back to

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Speaker 5: the I'm gonna take you to the cigar bar. We're

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Speaker 5: gonna have Actually, we should have a good mom's meetup

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Speaker 5: at the old niggas cigar bar.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if the moms have gotten into the older.

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Speaker 5: Niggas, but I advocate for them, you know, like forty

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Speaker 5: five plus, because they're cool. They give you compliments, they

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Speaker 5: take you out to dinner, they really.

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Speaker 4: See you for the queen that you are.

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Speaker 5: These wayians ey, but over forty five plus, I mean

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Speaker 5: it could go either way. They could still be corny.

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Speaker 5: But the cigar bar has all the ogs, and I

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Speaker 5: support the ogs with the salt and pepper, just like

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Speaker 5: that Silver Fox crew.

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Speaker 1: Do you see this, look this technique.

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Speaker 5: Let me see your technique, your cigar technique. Even though

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Speaker 5: that's not Is that okay?

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Speaker 4: Anyway?

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Speaker 1: And you know what, last thing, I don't think it's

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Speaker 1: bad for you because I'm not inhaling and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to brush my teeth after this.

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Speaker 5: You have to brush your teeth after this, or you're

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Speaker 5: gonna scare away your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I actually think it's worse to inhale it, which I

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Speaker 1: also do, but today we just are casually smoking the cigar. Anyway, baby,

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Speaker 1: take it.

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Speaker 4: Away with weed.

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Speaker 5: You inhale, just backwood, no weed inside. You don't inhale.

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Speaker 5: That's just an autumn. I just want to tell that

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Speaker 5: to everybody. You don't inhale cigars. That's not good for

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Speaker 5: you anywhow Anyway, I'm gonna try it back with la

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Speaker 5: Aromatic this week, with the regular shit in it, and

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna get back to you and tell.

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Speaker 4: You how it goes. I mean, because I thought Eric

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Speaker 4: has lost her goddamn mind. But maybe we're.

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Speaker 1: Good and we're bringing We're gonna we're doing the meetup.

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Speaker 1: We're doing. We are taking over the men's spaces in

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty last quarters of twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 5: I like that, Okay, everybody, DMS hold us to this

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Speaker 5: because I want to go see the if they're y

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Speaker 5: n or the o ns old niggas.

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Speaker 1: None of your state, none of your spaces are safe anymore, niggas,

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Speaker 1: not for.

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Speaker 4: The y Ins or the Owens.

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Speaker 5: Anyway, we're home today because we just we had to

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Speaker 5: honor ourselves and sit the fuck down in the living room.

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Speaker 5: But we do have a special guest, and I'm very

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Speaker 5: excited because we haven't had this guest on in literally,

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Speaker 5: i want to say, like seven years, seven years. She

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Speaker 5: was one of our first guests, our first year in

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Speaker 5: the dining room, and so I'm always happy to see

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Speaker 5: old friends in uh you know, as we've upgraded. So

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Speaker 5: today we welcome to our show our good friend, singer,

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Speaker 5: songwriter and og X reality TV star Amina Butterfly.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 6: Thank you all. Listen.

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Speaker 2: I'm a little bit bummed that we're not like in person,

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Speaker 2: because I always envisioned myself coming back to Good Moms

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Speaker 2: and like it being like the real deal and everything.

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Speaker 2: But I'll take it, and this just means to meet

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Speaker 2: that in another five years or so once more a

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Speaker 2: third time.

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Speaker 4: It could be.

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Speaker 5: It doesn't have to be five years later, right, we

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Speaker 5: do it. Actually, when you get back. It doesn't have

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Speaker 5: you five years later, we need you back on the

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Speaker 5: show more than once every five years.

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Speaker 4: I missed you.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 4: I always see you in passing. Yeah, were happy to

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Speaker 4: have you. How are you? What's been going on?

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Speaker 6: Good?

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Speaker 2: It's crazy because I just saw that thing pop up

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Speaker 2: too where it said seven years ago and I was

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Speaker 2: announcing that I was going to be on the pod

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Speaker 2: and I was like, seven years That seems like, you know,

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Speaker 2: it was just it just happened a little while ago.

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Speaker 2: But I'm good, man, I'm good for the circumstances, Like

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Speaker 2: I'm actually personally feeling amazing, but circumstances.

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Speaker 6: Are not perfect. But you know, life, that's life. And

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Speaker 6: I'm currently in Germany with my kids.

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Speaker 4: How's Germany?

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Speaker 2: It's it's I'm always happy to be here because I'm

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Speaker 2: with my family. I'm always happy to see my mom, my, sisters,

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Speaker 2: my nieces and nephews, and it's always good to have that,

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Speaker 2: especially because I don't have that much, Like I don't

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Speaker 2: really you know, get to see them. And it's been

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Speaker 2: two years that I've seen everybody.

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Speaker 6: And so yeah, I'm just happy to be here. But

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Speaker 6: it was kind of like I was forced to come

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Speaker 6: here because I moved out my place in LA.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't have no work to go with my kids,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, where do I go?

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Speaker 2: I go to my family there in Germany. So that's

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Speaker 2: why I'm here. But it's beautiful. I wanted to come here.

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Speaker 6: I wanted to be with them. So yeah, Well.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say, I mean, like, I really

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Speaker 1: I admire your bravery around just being fully just transparent

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Speaker 1: about your situation, especially as a mom, a single mom.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of shame and guilt around

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Speaker 1: just being honest and saying, hey, like I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't I need help. Yeah, I can't maintain this this

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Speaker 1: lifestyle right now like I could before, especially women in

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Speaker 1: your position, because I think a lot of times people

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Speaker 1: see people on reality TV or just people on the internet,

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Speaker 1: even people like us that are have like have platforms,

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Speaker 1: and they assume that you know, the brand deals are

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Speaker 1: coming in. They assume that we're just getting paid right

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Speaker 1: and left. They assume all these things, And I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of us suffer in silence because we are

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Speaker 1: so we are so busy trying to uphold how people

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Speaker 1: view us, when actually we're struggling and and then we

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Speaker 1: actually put ourselves in even worse positions just to uphold

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Speaker 1: what we assume people think about us. So I just

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Speaker 1: want to say that I really admire your bravery and

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Speaker 1: just your honesty and your vulnerability and transparency. And I

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Speaker 1: think that a lot of women can relate to it.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of women are going through the same

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Speaker 1: exact thing that you are, where they're like they have

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Speaker 1: to move home, they have to go home, recalibrate and

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Speaker 1: reassess and figure it out. And that is okay. Especially

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Speaker 1: and first of all, living in la.

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Speaker 4: Is expensive as fun.

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Speaker 1: So five people don't like people like know it, but

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Speaker 1: when you're actually living it, it's a whole other thing.

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Speaker 6: It's crazy.

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Speaker 5: And I think there's a there's I think because you're

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Speaker 5: saying it out loud. Because you're saying it out loud,

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Speaker 5: I think that it frees you in some capacity.

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Speaker 4: I think there's a level of secret.

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Speaker 5: There's a level of secrecy, and like, especially the black

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Speaker 5: the culture, that we have to keep our struggles to

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Speaker 5: ourselves because there's this perception from the outside world that like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: we're not doing well, or that we're coming up short

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Speaker 5: and all these things, and it's like the more you

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Speaker 5: hide it and the more you act like this is

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Speaker 5: like you normalize that people are not struggling, Like people

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Speaker 5: are struggling out here.

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Speaker 4: It's not if you've been on TV or whatever. The fuck.

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Speaker 5: The situation is like adulthood is hard, and hiding it

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Speaker 5: and pretending like everybody is doing just fine is to

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Speaker 5: our detriment because everybody is struggling in some capacity. And

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Speaker 5: I think there's and I think also like I've struggled,

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Speaker 5: and I've been out of a place, I've been out

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Speaker 5: of a car, I've been evicted, I've been fucking a

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Speaker 5: car has been repossessed, I've been fucked up and with

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Speaker 5: it and with a child, And I think there's so much, literally,

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Speaker 5: like that's real.

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Speaker 4: Life, that's that's the journey.

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Speaker 5: But I think that there is a level of as

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Speaker 5: a mom when you experience these things, there's a level

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Speaker 5: of guilt and shame that you experience because you're supposed

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Speaker 5: to have it all together because you'res a parent. And

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Speaker 5: the truth is is like I think mostly women and

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Speaker 5: mothers experience this, but not so much fathers because women

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Speaker 5: are generally the caretaker, the primary caretaker, and so when

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Speaker 5: you struggle you're like, damn, I'm putting my child in

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Speaker 5: this position.

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Speaker 4: But this is real life.

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Speaker 5: And I think that we also like normalize, we also

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Speaker 5: normalize like twenty year old or like early in your

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Speaker 5: early twenties, you struggle, but baby, guess what shit happens

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Speaker 5: all throughout this motherfucker at thirty, at forty, at all ages,

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Speaker 5: and especially with children. And so I do, like, I

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Speaker 5: really do commend you for being vulnerable and being honest

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Speaker 5: and saying what it is, and also like, thank god

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Speaker 5: you have a family you can go to and you

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Speaker 5: can just you know, reset, and you can talk about

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Speaker 5: this shit because there's time like.

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Speaker 4: I struggle to, Like I'm struggling right now. These bills

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Speaker 4: are high.

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Speaker 5: Money is a source of anxiety for me, and I

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Speaker 5: think that as parents and as black women, we don't

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Speaker 5: talk about it often. And I really, really, really when

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Speaker 5: when I saw you talking about it online, I was like, thank.

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Speaker 4: God, Okay, yeah, and they'll normalize that. This shit is hard.

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Speaker 6: It's it's the only way.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: The only reason why I can be like that and

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Speaker 2: be open with it is because I don't attach my

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Speaker 2: bank account or what I have to my worth. Like

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Speaker 2: I feel the same way about who I am with nothing,

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Speaker 2: then I would feel if I had like millions of

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Speaker 2: dollars like I feel great about the person that I am,

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Speaker 2: And a lot of people don't feel great when they

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Speaker 2: don't have nothing, Like I feel still so capable, so

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Speaker 2: powerful and so just amazing. I have this self worth

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Speaker 2: that is detached from anything like materialistic or yeah, money, right,

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Speaker 2: so I can't admit that I don't.

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Speaker 6: Got it right now like a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: I know so many that are in similar situations, Like

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Speaker 2: you just said, like a lot of people are going

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Speaker 2: through this, right, but they're not gonna say it because

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Speaker 2: they're embarrassed.

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Speaker 6: I'm not embarrassed.

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Speaker 2: This is life, and so I've always just been real

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Speaker 2: and on my platforms and even when.

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Speaker 6: I was on reality TV, I was always the real one.

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Speaker 6: I like to say that kept myself on the back.

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Speaker 2: But I've always been like real to who I am

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Speaker 2: because I'm not ashamed of nothing that I'm going through.

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Speaker 6: Most people are so.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's true. I like people attach their worth

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Speaker 5: to their success and to their bank accounts, and that

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Speaker 5: is something we have to shift as a society because

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Speaker 5: it's fake. Yeah, Because just because you have a billion

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Speaker 5: dollars doesn't mean you're fine, doesn't mean you're right, doesn't

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Speaker 5: mean you're a good motherfucking person, and like what makes

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Speaker 5: and like that's true? Like how do you feel even

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Speaker 5: without the things, even without the titles, even without the car?

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Speaker 4: Who are you without the monetary success?

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Speaker 5: And like that's that's a word, and that's a lesson

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Speaker 5: for our kids too.

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Speaker 1: I saw, like, sorry, go ahead.

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Speaker 6: No, what Mila just said.

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Speaker 2: I just had that in one of my DaMert House

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Speaker 2: you know, talk in my yoga classes on the other

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Speaker 2: teacher as well. So I talk about things like that

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Speaker 2: in the beginning, and I just you just merit exactly

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Speaker 2: what I was saying to my students, like literally like

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Speaker 2: a month ago when I was still in La.

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Speaker 6: So that was It's amazing.

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Speaker 1: I didn't you ever teaching yoga in La.

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Speaker 4: I would have pulled up right my neighborhood A man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I need to like let more people know.

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Speaker 2: But that was one of my jobs that people say

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Speaker 2: I don't have, get yourself a job. I've had so

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Speaker 2: many different jobs that I was so burnt out, and

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Speaker 2: I just that's why I'm so glad.

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Speaker 6: To like have a break right now in Germany.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, how expensive it is to like how how

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Speaker 1: low like the pay rate is, and just jobs in

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Speaker 1: general here, and that the life of an influencer or

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Speaker 1: or someone who you know is able to have a

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Speaker 1: platform with a lot of followers that brands me dean valuable.

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Speaker 1: How that's so up and down and up and down.

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Speaker 1: You have two kids that you're supporting, and like it

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Speaker 1: just money just disappears. I swear about it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I look int my bank account, I'm like, what the

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Speaker 1: fuck did we do this month? Like I'll like groceries

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Speaker 1: every month?

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Speaker 2: Like for me the past year and a half, I

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Speaker 2: barely make it. I barely get everything together. I barely

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Speaker 2: get the money together for all the bills and everything

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Speaker 2: that I need. And I'm back at every single month,

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Speaker 2: Like you don't understand how many I woke up even

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Speaker 2: to my account or negative. It was so stressful that

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Speaker 2: I'm like I just need to reset, like take a break.

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Speaker 2: I just need to fall back and have somebody catch

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Speaker 2: me for a moment because I can't. I I couldn't

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Speaker 2: take it no more.

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Speaker 6: I was like, yo, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know what's gonna happen from here. I know I'll

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Speaker 2: get back up. This is not the end of me,

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Speaker 2: but I need to have a break, Like I just

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Speaker 2: needed that so bad and now I'm in the middle

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Speaker 2: of and so feeling lucky that.

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Speaker 1: You have the opportunity to do something like that too,

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Speaker 1: Like you have the family that can that can help

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Speaker 1: you do that. So, like I have a question because

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Speaker 1: I know, like you got a lot of like you

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Speaker 1: got a lot of pushback on like obviously social media,

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Speaker 1: because everybody thinks they know your fucking life. Yes, they

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Speaker 1: just they think they know you. They think I know

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Speaker 1: your life instances, they think they know your relationship with

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Speaker 1: your baby daddy, and you know, like I know that,

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Speaker 1: Like there was like a I know that Peter had

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Speaker 1: come out kind of disappointed and he made a video

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Speaker 1: the saying that you're homeless because he had, you know,

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Speaker 1: helped and supported you and offered you his house in

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Speaker 1: Dallas or his problem relates in Dallas, and people are like,

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Speaker 1: why didn't you move to Dallas. I'm like, bitch, because

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Speaker 1: what what can I Like, I understand that you could

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Speaker 1: go to Dallas, but like where you don't have support there,

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Speaker 1: so like that wouldn't that would actually be worse. I

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Speaker 1: would still be broken Dallas so good. That's what I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking when people, when people have.

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Speaker 3: These like opinions, I'm like, yeah, you know, the whole

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Speaker 3: thing with Llas like he was obviously he was superhard

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Speaker 3: because it makes him look bad, right, So I understood

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Speaker 3: he was upset that I that I made this publicly

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Speaker 3: that we are struggling, because the truth is it's not

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Speaker 3: just me, him too, and I'm sorry, like we all

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Speaker 3: are together in this because we are, at the end

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Speaker 3: of the day, a family.

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Speaker 2: He's the father of my kids, and he's not able

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Speaker 2: to cover us all the way, which I don't expect.

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Speaker 6: I made another post about this. I don't expect him

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Speaker 6: to cover us.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yes, those are his kids and he's supposed

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Speaker 2: to take care of them, and he has been stepping

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Speaker 2: up so crazy the past year that I'm nothing but

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Speaker 2: thankful and happy for everything that he's done. And I

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00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 2: made another statement after that that you know, Peter is

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Speaker 2: not to be involved in this conversation because I just was.

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Speaker 6: Sharing my truth.

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Speaker 2: Right now, I don't have an apartment, me and my

354
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Speaker 2: kids don't have a place for.

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Speaker 6: Saying with my sister. It's the truth.

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Speaker 2: He did not want me to say that, but I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you offered me to go to Dallas. This is like

358
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Speaker 2: seven months ago. That place doesn't exist anymore. He gave

359
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,080
Speaker 2: that apartment up, so I don't know why he went

360
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,160
Speaker 2: online and did all that. He could have moved to Dallas. Yeah,

361
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,159
Speaker 2: six months ago, not now. When I finally ended up

362
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Speaker 2: getting evicted, the place was not there.

363
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Speaker 6: I could not go there, so I had to go

364
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Speaker 6: to Germany. Like I don't know.

365
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Speaker 2: I did not like respond to his life because there

366
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 2: was so much craziness and he was so upset. And

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Speaker 2: I understood in a way that he was upset, and

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to let him have his little, you know,

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Speaker 2: getting back at me moment.

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Speaker 6: But that the whole Dallas thing. I get so many comments,

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Speaker 6: why didn't you go to Dallas?

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Speaker 2: Peter said, you had an apartment in Dallas that didn't

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Speaker 2: not exist.

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Speaker 6: When I actually got a victor, I would have went there,

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Speaker 6: but it didn't make SI. So yeah, just to clear.

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Speaker 5: That up, and even if even if you had, Yeah,

377
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 5: you're gonna move somewhere a whole different state where there's

378
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 5: no support for six months and then six and then

379
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 5: six months later, you're still gonna be in the same situation.

380
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Speaker 5: So as a mom, I have to think long term

381
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Speaker 5: and not short term because he is thinking and his ego,

382
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 5: because this is how men think, because money is such

383
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Speaker 5: a source for men and their ego.

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Speaker 4: And their pride.

385
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 5: It's like, I did offer you this, but no, I

386
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 5: need this to be stable. I needed to last a

387
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:16,760
Speaker 5: year and I needed to make sense and if it

388
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 5: doesn't make sense, and I'm not going to drag my

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Speaker 5: kids there for six months to ultimately make the same

390
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 5: decisions that I'm making now, right, And you know.

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Speaker 6: It was summertime.

392
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 2: My kids, we're done with the school year, and I'm like,

393
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:31,439
Speaker 2: am I gonna sit in Dallas by myself, like with

394
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Speaker 2: the kids, having all of the work on my own

395
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,199
Speaker 2: again like I had the past two years? Or am

396
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Speaker 2: I going to go to Germany and have some help,

397
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Speaker 2: really help, like real help, because my sisters and everyone

398
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Speaker 2: is physically here to you know, take my kids out

399
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Speaker 2: and do things where I can have breaks, real breaks,

400
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Speaker 2: because you know, if I would have went to Dallas,

401
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 2: I would have been alone.

402
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,520
Speaker 6: Again. I'm a loner in life. I'm always alone.

403
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Speaker 2: I've been alone with my kids for ten years. I

404
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: couldn't do it anymore. I needed someone around me and

405
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 2: there so the whole thing with going to Dallas another

406
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Speaker 2: quest for me to.

407
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Speaker 1: Do on my own.

408
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 6: Note, Well, thanks, I'm gonna go were.

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Speaker 1: Oh you've done it alone. You've done it. You deserve

410
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:20,159
Speaker 1: a break, You deserve rest, You deserve the space to

411
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 1: re examine how and what you're going to do next.

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Speaker 1: And you cannot do that with two kids running around

413
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,159
Speaker 1: your house all day. You can ish. But if you

414
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,640
Speaker 1: have the option to not have to do it that way,

415
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 1: after doing it that way for ten years and you've

416
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,879
Speaker 1: seen that it hasn't benefited you, and you have this

417
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,680
Speaker 1: other option, fucking take it. I think so many women too,

418
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 1: like don't even have the option and still don't take it.

419
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 1: They would rather suffer. They would rather be like wear

420
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: this Superwoman coat and say I did it all by myself.

421
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: I don't feel like there's a glory in that. Like

422
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: children are supposed to be raised in community, in tribe.

423
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 1: You're supposed to have support. You're not supposed to do

424
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 1: this alone. And if you don't have to, then fucking don't.

425
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: Then let move in with your mom for a minit,

426
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,199
Speaker 1: move in with wherever the fuck you gotta go that

427
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,399
Speaker 1: has the support, move in and because I feel like

428
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 1: a lot of women listening to this probably are in

429
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: similar positions right now and battling with their ego, battling

430
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,479
Speaker 1: with how other people are going to view them as

431
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,640
Speaker 1: a parent that they can't provide. No, I do provide.

432
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: I'm a nurturer. I handle all this all the time,

433
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I feel like we

434
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 1: need to give ourselves like our flowers and realize because

435
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times like it feels like, well,

436
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: that's what I'm supposed to do, and it is you,

437
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, But like there's a lot of moms

438
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 1: that aren't, you know, So I feel like you're a

439
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: good mom and you have all those worries and and

440
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 1: and you're thinking about your children, but you have to

441
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: think about yourself and like how you can actually be

442
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: a good mom to your kids. So I'm just that you.

443
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 6: Yeah. I was to the point where I was healthy.

444
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 2: I was feeling I was starting to get sick every

445
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 2: month every month around the time time of the month,

446
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 2: because that's when the homewards, you know, when my immune

447
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 2: system is and I knew clockwork, like every month that

448
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 2: week before I was.

449
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 6: Going to get sick because of stress. The stress makes

450
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 6: me sick.

451
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 2: And I was just so stressed, and every month I

452
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 2: would get sick, like physically sick, where like on top

453
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 2: of being stressed out and burnt.

454
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 6: Out and everything. Well, people don't understand is that I

455
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 6: was doing so much.

456
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 2: I was working my ass off and I'm like the

457
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 2: last person to be lazy, Like I get up and

458
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 2: go do whatever I need to do. So I had

459
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 2: multiple jobs this whole past year that I was going

460
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 2: to every day and it was still still just not

461
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 2: enough money coming in. So I was just always like

462
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,159
Speaker 2: overwhelmed NonStop, and that gets to you like health wise.

463
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 2: And at some point I was like if I don't

464
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 2: want to take a break here, like I'm going to

465
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 2: end up.

466
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 6: Like in the hospital or something. I was literally physically sick,

467
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 6: So I don't know.

468
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 1: I just like like was it? I was like was

469
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 1: it you that? Like how did you end up going home?

470
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: Because like did your was it you? Then finally asked

471
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 1: your family like this and hey, I need this or

472
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 1: did they or did they like be like girl just

473
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: come here like a little bit of both, because I'm wondering, like, yeah,

474
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 1: sometimes people are just afraid to even ask, like what

475
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 1: does that conversation look like, No, it's like.

476
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 2: Being that I was already going through it so bad,

477
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,479
Speaker 2: just being stressed all the time for years straight. I

478
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 2: was like just missing my family, like I was missing family,

479
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: being able to go see my mom like I was

480
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 2: missing them, and I wanted to go to Germany for

481
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 2: the longest just to visit.

482
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 6: I didn't have the money to take us.

483
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: For a vacation.

484
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 2: And now it was like, Okay, we're going to move out,

485
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 2: We're getting evicted.

486
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 6: Where do I go.

487
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 2: The first thought that comes to mind is my sister,

488
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 2: my twin sister, the closest person in my entire life

489
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:57,959
Speaker 2: to me, we can always fall back, we can always

490
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 2: come and stay there. So that was like where my whole,

491
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 2: my whole mindset was like I just want to go home,

492
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 2: just I just want to get home and then figure

493
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: it out from there because I don't know what I'm doing.

494
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 2: I don't know what is going to be, so I

495
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,199
Speaker 2: just want to go home and then figure it out.

496
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 2: And I mean, it was like, what's the plan?

497
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 6: What are you going to do? You should do X,

498
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 6: Y and Z.

499
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 2: When you don't have space, you can't create, So I can't.

500
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 2: I can't come up. I can't even come up with

501
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 2: a plan when I'm so not okay, you know, Like

502
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 2: so that's why I took these two months.

503
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 6: So I'm a break on my kids. Perfect timing.

504
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 2: I got evictied in end of May, and I'm like, okay,

505
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 2: perfect timing. I just need flights to go home and

506
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 2: props the Peter guns because he actually did pay for

507
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: our lights to go to Germany. So we ended up

508
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 2: here later. And it's like it's like kind of like

509
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 2: open end. But you know, one thing that I have

510
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 2: to say, because people always ask and people know that,

511
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, I got my French geam or French old

512
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 2: dog who is like my third kid, and he got

513
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 2: left behind, and so I have to come back for him.

514
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 2: I like, I'm not I can't deal. I'm like, okay,

515
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 2: like my my third kid is back in LA and.

516
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, I saw you post him. I saw you

517
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: post this. This is your baby.

518
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 6: Oh man, he is. He is like my whole world,

519
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 6: besides my kids, of course, But I don't know. I

520
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 6: was to bring him here for a lot of different reasons.

521
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:30,719
Speaker 2: Not only bringing him here was complicated, but also you know,

522
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,439
Speaker 2: he wasn't able to stay with us here, Like my

523
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: family isn't like rich, Like my sister lives in a

524
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: small apartment. We're all like crunched up with She had

525
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 2: the family, two kids, boyfriend, and you know, we don't

526
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: have a lot of space here either, And so there

527
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 2: was a lot of reasons why I couldn't bring my dog.

528
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: So I have to find a way to be like

529
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 2: back reunited with him, because it's like, that's the hardest

530
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: part about being away, to be honest, right now, my baby.

531
00:24:58,880 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 4: Honest dog.

532
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, not the dog, mom, you had to sacrifice the pet,

533
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 5: the pet child. No, But honestly, this conversation is a

534
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 5: breath of fresh air, just because I think that in LA,

535
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 5: I think a gender in LA, people have this this

536
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 5: misconception that everybody is just doing fine. And I'm always like,

537
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,439
Speaker 5: how the fuck is everybody just fine? I'm like, this

538
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 5: shit is expensive, this shit is hard, especially being a parent,

539
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 5: and I think that we don't hear enough about I mean, obviously,

540
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 5: the internet is going to give you the top one

541
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 5: percent of the best parts of your life, and that's

542
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 5: what it's going to show, and that's what you're gonna post,

543
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 5: and you're always going to look good and you're always

544
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 5: and you know, but the truth But the truth is

545
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 5: it's refreshing to know that other people are going through shit.

546
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 5: And not to say like misery loves company, but it's like,

547
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,239
Speaker 5: I'm not the only one dealing with this thing.

548
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 4: I don't think I'm the only one.

549
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 5: I think sometimes when you're going through things and you

550
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 5: feel like everybody else is not, Like am I the

551
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,959
Speaker 5: only one failing at this thing called adulthood?

552
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,880
Speaker 4: And I've struggled, like I still struggle in adulthood.

553
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 5: I struggle with finances, I struggle with feeling safe with money,

554
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 5: and I feel like sometimes I'm like, am I the

555
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 5: only one?

556
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:08,239
Speaker 4: You know?

557
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 5: And it's like it was refreshing to be like, oh,

558
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 5: it's you're not the only one. And you have to

559
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 5: recalibrate and sometimes you have to go home and you

560
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 5: have to be like, Okay, what's the new plan? Because

561
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 5: I've been there, girl, and I really understand, like how

562
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 5: can I figure it out? When I'm fucking stressed about

563
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 5: the same shit every four weeks?

564
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,920
Speaker 4: Every time, I gotta like, I gotta breathe.

565
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 5: In order to find a new plan, because and if

566
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 5: you unless you have the time to figure out a

567
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 5: new plan, You're going to be constantly in survival mode

568
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,959
Speaker 5: and in hustle mode and and this and this and that,

569
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 5: and like it's it becomes it can consume your whole

570
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 5: fucking sanity.

571
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 4: So like I was, I was.

572
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 5: Very it was refreshing to hear you be honest, like,

573
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 5: I'm sure it's it's given a lot of other people,

574
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 5: you know, like, oh well a Mina from Love and

575
00:26:55,760 --> 00:27:00,239
Speaker 5: Hip Hop is talking honestly, like, hey me too. You know,

576
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 5: like this shit is not easy, and sometimes even after

577
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 5: you struggled or fucked up more than once, you still

578
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,199
Speaker 5: never You may not figure it out right away. It

579
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 5: may take three times, right, you know, like we are

580
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 5: we are human, and even though we're in adult bodies

581
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 5: in some ways, we're learning and we're still figuring it out.

582
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 4: And that's okay.

583
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 5: And I think that people need to use the internet

584
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 5: in a more realistic way instead of just posting the

585
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 5: top five percent good shit in your life, because the

586
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 5: truth of the matter is most people are fucked up.

587
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 5: You know, the economy is not good right now. Shit

588
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 5: is expensive. If you have kids, it's difficult.

589
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 2: And like the things, Yeah, the thing with me is

590
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 2: the food is expensive.

591
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 6: Oh my God.

592
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 2: The thing with me is like I love positivity and

593
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,479
Speaker 2: I post. I love posting positive things because that's what

594
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: life is supposed to be, Like you're supposed to be

595
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 2: making the best of it every day, and so I

596
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 2: love posting positive stuff.

597
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 6: But I also don't like faking it just to look asa.

598
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 6: So I've never liked that.

599
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 2: So I also I've always shared like my struggles and

600
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 2: so again, like I'm not embarrassed about it, so why

601
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 2: not like share that and be real.

602
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 6: Just because it makes I think you did look best?

603
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: Right? Right?

604
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 6: No, it's like I don't mind people him, I don't.

605
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 1: Think about it. Sometimes it's not about him. It's not

606
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: about him, it's about you, you know. And I think

607
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: a lot of times when we vocalize our like our

608
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: experience as women, it's always connected to like the man

609
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: and like whether he's what, what, what he did? What

610
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: you did to him? What? All these things? And honestly,

611
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: and obviously it may be a little bit different because

612
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: people are are attached to your story because of this

613
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: relationship that you had, but like it was ten years ago.

614
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: And I think like we live in a society too

615
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: that likes to hold people hostage to like moments in

616
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: their life that they're no longer they don't even identify

617
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: with anymore. Yeah, you know, like we had we have

618
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: Lovely mimeon and she was talking about she was on

619
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: love and hip Hop too, and she was just like,

620
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 1: I did this shit so long ago. Why the fuck

621
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: is this shit? I don't even I don't even know

622
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: what that is anymore, you know what I mean. It's

623
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: like I think, because they have these visual time stamps

624
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 1: of who you are, people really like feel comfortable keeping

625
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: you there. So I'm curious, like how do you how

626
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 1: do you, like, I guess, move through that because there's

627
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: so much opinion on the internet talking and like how

628
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: do you stay positive in moments where people feel like

629
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: they know your life where they are attacking you. You know,

630
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: it's because I could I imagine it could be a lot.

631
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 6: Yeah for sure.

632
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 2: I mean I'm like to say, like now I'm like

633
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 2: so immune to what people say, Like yeah, I think

634
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 2: like like you can't like you can't hurt me with

635
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 2: negative comments or like like you said, people are stuck

636
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: in the past.

637
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: Not me.

638
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 6: I am where I am.

639
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 2: I know where I am, this is years ago, this

640
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 2: is not my life. So whatever people say, like I

641
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 2: just let them say it and let them think it

642
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 2: and like let them think they know everything, and I

643
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 2: just kind of like laugh about it. And sometimes I'll

644
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: like reply like, oh, you're stuck in the past or whatever.

645
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 6: But even that is like almost too much for me. Now.

646
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: It's like they haven't followed anything I've done since the show.

647
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 2: They have not seen my growth, they haven't seen my healing,

648
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 2: they haven't gotten to know the person that I am now.

649
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 2: So it's like I don't blame them, but at the

650
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: same time, it's like, wow, do you realize this is

651
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 2: like literally ten years ago that this all happened, And

652
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: do you think that I'm still there? That's kind of dumb.

653
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,719
Speaker 2: And I was the one that was called dumb for years,

654
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 2: like still to this day, Like people call me dumb

655
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 2: for staying with a man for three years that was

656
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 2: cheating ourselves.

657
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 6: And I mean whatever people say, it's just you cannot hurt.

658
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: Me anymore, Like nothing like that can ever hurt me

659
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 2: or get to me because I'm so secure now.

660
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 5: You know, It's crazy how people want to hold you

661
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 5: to like a decision that you made ten years ago.

662
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 5: I'm sure you get those comments on well, you should

663
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 5: have never done this, You should have never done that.

664
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 5: Now this is what you get or this is the

665
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 5: position you're in, And it's like, bitch, if I could

666
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 5: look at your records on TV, we've all been dumb,

667
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 5: bitch once or four hundred times in our life, and

668
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 5: you just don't have the video evidence of it, and

669
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 5: you didn't put it out for the world to see, which,

670
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 5: on a side note, is very brave too.

671
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 4: That was a very brave thing for you to do.

672
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 5: And you have to have tough skin to exist in

673
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 5: that world and be on reality TV because they edit

674
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 5: and pick out what they want you to see and

675
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 5: most women do a lot of dumb shit, but you

676
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 5: don't have any record of it, but you do, and

677
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 5: so you have to live in that because that's what

678
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 5: people think they know you for.

679
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 4: But it's just like.

680
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 5: Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, bitch, But yeah, you

681
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 5: don't have to be held.

682
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 2: Sorry cutting you off, But the thing that's crazy is

683
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 2: like that people gosh, I just lost my what was

684
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 2: it going to say? Say something about what we were

685
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: just talking about with with the reality TV.

686
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: I was just saying that everyone makes mistakes, and like

687
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: people want to hold you to, you know, these versions

688
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: of yourself. But people don't have to make mistakes publicly

689
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: like you've made misticks publicly, where some people are doing

690
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: the same exact ship with cameras.

691
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: You wouldn't believe how many messages and comments I get

692
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 2: from women like how did you leave them in the

693
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 2: same situation?

694
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 6: I can't do it.

695
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 2: And even just yesterday a woman was like, at least

696
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 2: yours was just three years, that mine took nine years,

697
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: Like you know, I'm.

698
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 6: Like, is that everybody? Everyone goes to shit like that?

699
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 2: Like everyone is making everyone gets stuck, like with the man,

700
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 2: there's no good for them, Like like come on, like every.

701
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 6: Really fuck exactly.

702
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 1: I guess I just really get sucked by life. You

703
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: don't get to avoid the fucking of life. Okay, life

704
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: is going to fuck you. The more comfortable you get

705
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: with it, the more in flow and relaxed, you know, open.

706
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm going to go that far and say

707
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: that I'm even I'm saying people say, oh, you wasted

708
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 2: all those years. I'm thankful for everything that I went through.

709
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 2: Someone just ask me yesterday, do you regret And I

710
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: don't regret it.

711
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 6: It was I would not be who I am like

712
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 6: I am so like I have so much.

713
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: More self worth I found I figured out how to

714
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 2: love myself through everything. Because of everything, I figured out

715
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 2: how to like really love myself.

716
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 6: And I don't think I would be here if it

717
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 6: wasn't for everything that I wanted to with.

718
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 2: Not only the show, but the relationship and staying with them.

719
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 2: There was, you know, everything that people were witnessing. I

720
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: don't I would not be the person I am that

721
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 2: I'm so part of today.

722
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 6: So I don't have no regrets none. Like literally, I

723
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 6: have a question.

724
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 1: I mean, how long are your girls now?

725
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 6: There?

726
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 2: Their birthdays are coming next week and the following week

727
00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 2: they're gonna be nine and eleven.

728
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

729
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 6: Yeah man, and they have been born on TV. Yeah,

730
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 6: so that's how.

731
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,919
Speaker 4: Long both of them are born on TV?

732
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 7: Yes, the cameras in the hospital to say that every time, Yeah,

733
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 7: I had I have their their image like the camera

734
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,240
Speaker 7: their first day of their life.

735
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 6: Both of them. Yeah, that's crazy.

736
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: I love What about how are they with the move? Like?

737
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: How are they? Because I think a lot of parents too,

738
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 1: obviously you're considering your children too, and how this kind

739
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,439
Speaker 1: of life change affects them, and you know, also their

740
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: self worth and making sure that it's also it's not

741
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 1: already been tied to value in money because kids don't

742
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: get that ship until later. Like yeah, but it depends

743
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,879
Speaker 1: and also just depends on how things play out for them.

744
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 1: So yeah, thereous how they've been adapted to the move

745
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 1: and everything.

746
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 6: I have to say, Like, the only.

747
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 2: Reason I really sometimes feel bad about the situation that

748
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 2: I'm in is them, Like it's the kids, because I

749
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 2: can't give them certain things.

750
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 6: They're kids.

751
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: They want the toys, they want the stuff, right Like

752
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 2: I'm like not materialistic, Like I don't mean nothing but

753
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,399
Speaker 2: my health and my good feeling about who I am,

754
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 2: but which I got. But my kids they still kids,

755
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 2: and they corey want like my older daughter, she wants

756
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 2: her own room things like that, right They they want

757
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,439
Speaker 2: stuff and I can't give them that right now.

758
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 6: But I know that in the long run and later

759
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 6: on when they're grown, they're.

760
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 2: Gonna love and always cherish and look back on the

761
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 2: time that they had with me and know that I

762
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: was want doing my best and also always there.

763
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 6: I was always there. They're obsessed with me.

764
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 2: They never want me to go nowhere, and I don't

765
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 2: never do, don't, I don't. I'm always with them. So

766
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 2: they're gonna be. I think it's gonna be. It's not

767
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 2: gonna be a big deal that we are going through

768
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 2: this right now for them later on and even right now,

769
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:02,919
Speaker 2: they're happy.

770
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 6: They think this is just a getaway, which I'm trying to.

771
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: Make it into that, right because I'm still figuring stuff out,

772
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 2: and we are supposed to come back to l E

773
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 2: because of the dog and because they want to go

774
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 2: back to their schools and.

775
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 6: Things like that. I have not everything figured out yet.

776
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 2: But they think it's just we're just with family right

777
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 2: now and then we're going to go back, and so

778
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 2: we'll just go with the flow with that, you know.

779
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 6: So they're totally good. They're actually excited to go back,

780
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 6: and I'm working on it. Yeah, that's where it's a

781
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 6: good time. Yeah time, you know, like like it's okay.

782
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 1: Kids are so flexible. Yeah, and like you said, like

783
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: the especially they're still an age or they just want

784
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: to be with their mom and they get to hang

785
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 1: out with their cousins and you know, they're you know

786
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 1: and like they speak a German too, right they because

787
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: I remember I remember you always teaching them. That's a

788
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: big question that we like they can get along honestly

789
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: sucked up because they don't speak it.

790
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 6: I literally yes, but that was when she was wont

791
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 6: to her.

792
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,839
Speaker 2: I spoke to Corey solely when she was from when

793
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 2: she was born to like one or like one and

794
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 2: a half.

795
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 6: And then I had my second baby, Bronx, and then

796
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 6: at that point Corey was too starting to talk, and

797
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 6: I kind of lost it.

798
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 2: And I don't know how it got there, because my

799
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 2: plan was always to have them know my native language

800
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 2: first thing.

801
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 8: It's a great opportunity for them to think about.

802
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I connected this part of them, and I don't know,

803
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: I've grown America's ghetto like you Are you sure I did?

804
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: I texted me and I thought, why would you, like,

805
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, go somewhere else in Europe, somewhere else,

806
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: just don't come back here.

807
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it would have to be somewhere else

808
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 2: because Germany, even though it's my home, my family's here,

809
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: I love it right now, but I can't I don't

810
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 2: see it. I don't see us here like I don't

811
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 2: see myself living here. Like there's a lot of things

812
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: about Germany and follow my tiktop if you want to

813
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 2: know more, because I'm like posting updates on like you know,

814
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 2: prols ands and things that are different from Germany to

815
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 2: the US and things that kind of like made me

816
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 2: leave here like that I'm getting reminded of now, So I.

817
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 6: Don't know our place.

818
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 1: Maybe you need to go on take and take advantage

819
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 1: of having help and go on little quick trips on

820
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 1: train rides to other places. Because I feel like when

821
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: you're in Europe, I mean, Germany is really big, but

822
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: I feel like what's in Europe you can kind of

823
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 1: get around. Yeah, I feel like Spain. Have you been

824
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: to Spain? I really I lived.

825
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 6: I live like a year, almost a year in two even.

826
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: Too much.

827
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I was, I was.

828
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 2: I was living there two thousand, well for like seven months.

829
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,799
Speaker 2: I was there for like a while, performing every night.

830
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: I imagine that another side of a visa that isn't

831
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: like party, because when I think of Aviza, I think

832
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,280
Speaker 1: of Vegas.

833
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,839
Speaker 6: No no, no, no no. I wasn't no, I wasn't one

834
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 6: of those I wasn't and another I was not.

835
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 2: The party Liisa. It was like more like that hid

836
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 2: But yeah, I know, I promise you.

837
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:19,399
Speaker 6: If it wasn't for like.

838
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 2: School and my dog, I would not rush to try

839
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 2: to come back to La at all. Like that's literally

840
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 2: like the reason why I'm trying to get us back.

841
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 5: But yeah, I think kids, I think we we we

842
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 5: we need so much stuff or we give tell telled

843
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 5: ourselves this lie that we need so much stuff that

844
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 5: of course kids are gonna want ship. But those like

845
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 5: once last, you know, they're usually like a five minute one.

846
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 5: I want that and then I forget. But truly, I

847
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 5: think what kids really really long for is love. Yeah,

848
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,919
Speaker 5: to know that you're there, you're physically present, and like

849
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 5: I've been in some fucked up situations with Lona, like

850
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 5: living with live with people types of shit, and ultimately

851
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 5: it's not what she remembers.

852
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 4: You know, She's just like kids are resilient.

853
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 2: We're sleeping on the floor. Like my my sister has

854
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 2: two kids. They have a three bedroom apartment. My niece

855
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,720
Speaker 2: has she's three. She has her room, and we're sleeping

856
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 2: in her room. There's only like a little crip like

857
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: a baby bed in there. We're sleeping on the floor

858
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 2: on Memphisis right now, and they're loving it.

859
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 6: I mean, there's it.

860
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 4: Right, it's a sleepover, it's a sleep every night.

861
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 6: It's like yeah.

862
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 2: And then she has a fourteen year old and like

863
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 2: we're literally like a big like like back then, you know,

864
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: like a tribe. We're like yeah, community and it's it's cool.

865
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 2: On the long term, I don't know.

866
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

867
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 6: That's why I got to figure it out. But for now,

868
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 6: we're all they're happy.

869
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: I'm happy.

870
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 5: You're you're happy, you're safe, you have a roof, you

871
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 5: have food, you're with family. That is what children need,

872
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 5: right and that and that, and that's what you if

873
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 5: you're providing. And you made the right decision to go

874
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 5: home and reset, and honestly, I'm proud.

875
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 4: Of you for doing that.

876
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 5: And you will figure it out because women and moms

877
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 5: are resilient and whatever you want to do, you'll get

878
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 5: back to it because that's what the fuck we do

879
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 5: every time.

880
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 4: Even if it with it.

881
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 5: Within the time period that you think or or not,

882
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 5: whatever it will, you will get back to where you

883
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 5: need to be, just period.

884
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: Thank you.

885
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel that way. I just yeah, I just

886
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,279
Speaker 2: got to figure it out the way and make a plan.

887
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: But again, that's why I needed to sit back, so I.

888
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 6: Can't do that.

889
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 4: I mean, what's your birthday? What's your son?

890
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 6: April eighteenth?

891
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: I'm as aries, yeah, yeah, and yeah, I guess stubborn, right, Like, yeah,

892
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 2: I don't listen. I don't listen. That was a problem

893
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 2: in my last relationship.

894
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 5: Listen that last relationship. You didn't need to listen to

895
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,919
Speaker 5: that man. You didn't need to listen to that man.

896
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 6: Dad wanted me to do nothing.

897
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 1: But I mean, I could see through the internet waves

898
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 1: that I was like something right because I don't know,

899
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: I was like right in his eyes.

900
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 5: I literally told Eric, I said, look at this. I

901
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 5: don't know, but I don't like the feeling of this.

902
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 5: I don't like it. And I was like I was

903
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 5: hoping you That's why I asked you when when I

904
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 5: saw you, I was like, are you guys still together?

905
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 5: And You're like no, And I was like good. I

906
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 5: did not feel like it was good. I was like,

907
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 5: I was looking at the comments. I was like, does

908
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 5: anyone else notice it?

909
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 4: And everyone you're so happy? I was like, she's not.

910
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:39,320
Speaker 4: I don't know, she's.

911
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 6: Had mixed I don't know.

912
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 2: I was telling my sister the same thing. I'm like,

913
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 2: why didn't you send it because I mean, that's my sister.

914
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 2: She could have told me.

915
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,399
Speaker 6: What she thinks she thought. I don't know. She never

916
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 6: really gets involved in anything with me, and kind of

917
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 6: vice versa. I don't with her. She has the best, best,

918
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 6: amazing man ever.

919
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 8: Like there's another talk, Well, if you give me permission,

920
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 8: if you give me permission, if I if I see

921
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 8: another man that I'm like.

922
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: Do I have permission, I'll text you. I will. I'll

923
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: be like my friends, yeah, okay, and my first you

924
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: could do it to me too. I'm just saying, like,

925
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: sometimes we need a friend that's going to get in

926
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 1: your business and be like, so what he's.

927
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 2: Going to hate, He's gonna he follows me like I

928
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 2: wish him the best, like to just to say that

929
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 2: because he's so far. But you nothing, nothing that happened

930
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 2: except that everything every day there was a problem about

931
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 2: something that I did, when I didn't when I didn't

932
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 2: feel like I did anything right, like everything that I

933
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 2: did just being me, I was it was a problem

934
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 2: for him. But that was that was Yeah, some people

935
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 2: it's just not a match, you know, it's not a

936
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 2: match at all. But he was finally someone that was

937
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 2: all about me. That's why it took me so long too. Again,

938
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: it took me so long to me to like figure out, Okay,

939
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 2: I need to, of.

940
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 1: Course, because we get fed like the thing that we

941
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 1: are like in deficit of, and sometimes that can be

942
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: equally as confusing as like, oh, I'm finally say I

943
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 1: never had that was.

944
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 6: All about me.

945
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 2: I had never in my life a man that was

946
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 2: all about me, and this was the first time. So

947
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, I'm going to give this up. I

948
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 2: never had a man where I didn't have to worry

949
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 2: about like other women like he was his I was

950
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 2: his whole life, and I.

951
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 6: Was like feeling suffocated, which perfect, this is what I want.

952
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 1: I think that these I think that which is probably

953
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 1: you needed to know that it exists and that you

954
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:38,439
Speaker 1: can ask yeah, and that it's not my body that

955
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: specific quality, but didn't have the other ones that were.

956
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 1: It taught me your body will tell you your nervous

957
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 1: system man, exactly.

958
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 2: I like your sex drive, oh my god, yes, and

959
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 2: oh my god, that's a whole love.

960
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 6: Oh my god. He was constantly complete. I just I

961
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 6: guess I wasn't that much into him, because when you are,

962
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 6: you want to do it right. It was also I

963
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 6: was also right.

964
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: I didn't.

965
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 6: I didn't because I was constantly just exhausted.

966
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 2: Like, yes, he helped me out with like you know,

967
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 2: money here and there and groceries and listen, gas all

968
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,240
Speaker 2: the time and little things. He didn't pay my bills,

969
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 2: my overhead, so I was still living in survival mode,

970
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 2: trying to get it together every month. And then he

971
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 2: always wanted me to take care of him. That's when

972
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: I made that other post talking about I can't, oh,

973
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 2: don't have the capacity to take care of someone on

974
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,280
Speaker 2: top of what are already the load that is already

975
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 2: like armed me every day.

976
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: And so whenever he wanted to be his mom.

977
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 5: And she didn't want to, she said, are you paying

978
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 5: you paying? You filling my tank and buying some groceries

979
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 5: on top of the two kids, my fucking thirty five

980
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 5: hundred dollars rent that I have to pay for la

981
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 5: it's not motivating me.

982
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 4: The second dick, I'm going to be keeping it real.

983
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 2: It's actually seriously, unless you take me completely out of

984
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,479
Speaker 2: survival mode, like don't ask me for.

985
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 5: It, like don't don't ask me for ship, don't ask

986
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 5: me for ship. No, for real, like it's difficult as

987
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 5: a woman when.

988
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 6: You're stressing people.

989
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: I don't know.

990
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 6: He didn't understand.

991
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 2: No, it felt like work and I just couldn't the complaining,

992
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 2: that star complaining just everything, like I smiled too much,

993
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 2: Like no, this.

994
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:42,879
Speaker 6: Is who I am?

995
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 4: Did you say yes?

996
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 2: Like I'm not going to cheat, Like I'm all for

997
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 2: like compromising, you know, like when you were with a partner.

998
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 6: I'm all for compromising, but not who I am. Not

999
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 6: who I am. You know, I'm not going to compromise myself.

1000
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 2: I'm gonna compromise on things and lifestyle and things that

1001
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 2: we do around the house, if we live together, whatever.

1002
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 2: I'm a compromise on the AC temperature, not who I am.

1003
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 6: Ever, I'm not. I don't know people I don't know.

1004
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: I mean, it's that's that's a very like yes. I

1005
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 1: feel like more women need to hear that. You Like,

1006
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm used about what the compromise means. We get confused

1007
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 1: about what we're supposed to being.

1008
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 6: On your cell, they tell me things you.

1009
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 4: No, you're you're absolutely you're absolutely right.

1010
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 5: Women here compromise, and I feel like gas lighting ass

1011
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 5: Men gets.

1012
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 1: Thrown around so much.

1013
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 4: Men use this a lot.

1014
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:46,439
Speaker 5: The compromise, and the and the uh and the what's

1015
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 5: the other word that men love?

1016
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 4: The S word?

1017
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 5: When you are is it when you are fucking full?

1018
00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 5: When you listen when you men, men love to use

1019
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 5: submissiveness and compromise against us. But let me tell you

1020
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 5: guys something, ladies, Smiling is not something to compromise. Okay,

1021
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 5: if you're a smiling joy, if you're a friendly bitch,

1022
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 5: you're going to smile and there's nothing you can do

1023
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 5: about it. And if a man is asking you to

1024
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 5: be less friendly and to let smile less, if they're

1025
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 5: so deeply insecure about how you interact with the world,

1026
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 5: this is a deep seated issue that you cannot change.

1027
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 4: And you're right.

1028
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 5: You compromise about the temperature on the fucking ac compromise

1029
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 5: about who's driving, you compromise about shit like that. You

1030
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 5: never compromise about the inner workings of who you are

1031
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 5: unless you're just a drunken, hot bitch. And I mean

1032
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 5: that's me actually, and I hadn't didn't even have to

1033
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:45,879
Speaker 5: compromise that much.

1034
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 1: And even I'll say, like, what relationships will inevitably do

1035
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 1: is be a mirror to you. So things might come

1036
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: up where you actually do have to not compromise, just

1037
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 1: self analyze and say, oh, maybe this person's right, maybe

1038
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 1: I do need to data. That's not compromised. That's doing

1039
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 1: the work on yourself, you know, like that's you choosing

1040
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 1: to elevate yourself to really invest time into who you

1041
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: are and who you want to be at your highest resolution,

1042
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 1: not compromising like I actually, this is who I am

1043
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: and this is who you are, and it's just not aligning.

1044
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 5: And by the way, like wearing less hoocy outfits isn't

1045
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 5: not something that you need to compromise. Men will try

1046
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 5: to like weed in certain type of compromisations to make

1047
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 5: you feel like who you are or how you dress

1048
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 5: or how you show up in life is not acceptable,

1049
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:41,399
Speaker 5: not respectable. But that's where you have to be really

1050
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 5: tend toes down and confident in who you are and

1051
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 5: knowing you know, like if you're a faithful woman, if

1052
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 5: you are if you've shown up as a girlfriend, you

1053
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 5: don't have to eliminate all your male friends. You don't

1054
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 5: have to not go out with me, you know, make

1055
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,959
Speaker 5: time to go. These are not things that are compromises.

1056
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 5: These are things that make them feel secure. And your

1057
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 5: job is I mean in ways to make them feel secure.

1058
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 5: But if they showed up insecure, it's not your job

1059
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 5: to fix them because there will never be more secure.

1060
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was.

1061
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 2: Trying to mold me into the girlfriend or woman that

1062
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 2: he wanted for himself.

1063
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 6: He's trying to mold me into it. But it was

1064
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,720
Speaker 6: just not me. And that's how we always will plans grown.

1065
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: I'm not a teenager. I am.

1066
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: I used to have to have to tell him all

1067
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 2: the time, like except me the way I am, or

1068
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 2: like they don't be.

1069
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 6: With me, Like that's literally what I would say.

1070
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 4: And he's like, yeah, but he wanted to be an

1071
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 4: Instagram couple.

1072
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,399
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I mean yeah, I think he wanted

1073
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 6: to be a star.

1074
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 1: He's trying to be a star. I mean you are

1075
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 1: a star, Okay, you are talented, You're gifted, like truly

1076
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: truly gifted. There's a reason why people are drawn to you.

1077
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,319
Speaker 1: There's a reason why there's a light on your life

1078
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: all the time, like there's a there's a reason for it.

1079
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: So you are natively going to attract people that want

1080
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 1: to want the same for themselves. But maybe did is

1081
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 1: not their calling this lifetime. Yeah again, I.

1082
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 2: Always feel like I'm like light and it was trying

1083
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 2: to like he was trying to dim it like so

1084
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:15,280
Speaker 2: I I just I noticed it early on and again

1085
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,240
Speaker 2: like I don't know what I ended up. This lasted

1086
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 2: for two and a half years.

1087
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,760
Speaker 4: Date where you guys dated two and a half years?

1088
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: How do you think you've bought apps? Or how did

1089
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 1: you mean? How do you meet people?

1090
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 6: Are you like, oh gosh, don't ask me now, because

1091
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 6: I totally.

1092
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: Do people slip slide into your DM.

1093
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 2: Like completely, I totally have de centered you know how

1094
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 2: people say the decentering men's thing is the thing man?

1095
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 6: But no, I told your lot on Instagram.

1096
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: I don't date, Like I literally don't date especially I

1097
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 2: mean now my situation is like last year. I haven't

1098
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 2: been with this guy since last like twenty twenty or

1099
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,399
Speaker 2: like summer, so a year now, so we've been we've

1100
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 2: not been together. But I don't date. I don't I

1101
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 2: haven't dated. And it seems to be always like that

1102
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 2: when I get out of the relationship that I just

1103
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: go back to myself for a moment and I just

1104
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 2: don't don't have interesting nothing when I need to, yeah,

1105
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 2: when I need to, I know, like I don't miss

1106
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 2: a man that's the thing I don't miss a man.

1107
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,760
Speaker 6: I miss. If I miss something, it's the sex.

1108
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 2: And I can figure that out somehow if I need to,

1109
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: when I need to, and I yeah, I figured it

1110
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 2: out on my own. But I don't miss anything else

1111
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 2: about a man, because I've never had a man that's

1112
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 2: given me so much that I would now. Yeah, I

1113
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 2: never there's a thing that I could miss about a

1114
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 2: man in sex. And like I again, yeah, I can

1115
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 2: figure that out.

1116
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 6: I get all my.

1117
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 2: Like oxytocin cuddles with my kids and my dogs.

1118
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 1: I'll never forget when I discovered. When I discovered the

1119
00:52:56,360 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 1: section dick, I realized that women we could get by

1120
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: without men for a while, that heartier situation. Right now,

1121
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 1: I wouldn't recommend giving. It's such a section that gets

1122
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 1: sections to like the wall, and then you can get

1123
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:22,439
Speaker 1: it and then you can use your vibra on. When

1124
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 1: that happened to me, I literally remember after that first

1125
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: I had some.

1126
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 6: I had some. I had like a bag.

1127
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 2: In my closet, like all the way up there, like

1128
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 2: in my closet, a bag of like toys and stuff

1129
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 2: like that, and I just threw them in the trash.

1130
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 6: When I moved out. I threw ninety percent owned in

1131
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,240
Speaker 6: the garbage, So now I have nothing.

1132
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 1: I mean that would be a little bit of margin

1133
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,839
Speaker 1: travel like that would be like you know, you pick.

1134
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 2: I got rid of everything. I kept my music instruments

1135
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 2: and that's it. Like a few clothes, but not much.

1136
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 2: So I have a storage unit, but I only kept

1137
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 2: my most important music stuff, guitars.

1138
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 6: And things like that.

1139
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 2: But all the day I had like a toy bag gone.

1140
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 2: So I don't know out.

1141
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 4: There's the thing too.

1142
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,479
Speaker 5: I think the mayor we we were having so much

1143
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 5: ship like, we don't even need half this ship.

1144
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 4: We over keep ship like, we.

1145
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 5: Just over clutter. We think we need a lot of things,

1146
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 5: and we just need the basics. I just went camping

1147
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:27,800
Speaker 5: for five days and I.

1148
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 4: Was just sleeping. We don't really need ship. We don't

1149
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:32,240
Speaker 4: really need much. We need each other. We need food.

1150
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 5: That's really it, you know, And I think we like

1151
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 5: we Sometimes it requires that you lose everything, you declutter

1152
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 5: your life in order to be like what is truly essential?

1153
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 6: But let you go, you know what you really need.

1154
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:47,879
Speaker 4: Those toys could come back to.

1155
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 2: You know what you need to feel, You need to

1156
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 2: feel good about your song.

1157
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 6: Like I figured like that out girls late. I'm forty two.

1158
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 2: But you really just need to feel good about yourself

1159
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,240
Speaker 2: and everything else is small.

1160
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 6: Seriously, that's true.

1161
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, People people literally underestimate. They underestimate how do you

1162
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 5: feel about yourself? Because nine times out of ten, if

1163
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 5: you feel good about yourself, if you know who the

1164
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 5: fuck you are, if you know what you possess a

1165
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 5: You're not going to get into relationships with with with

1166
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 5: men who are trying to dim your light. It's not

1167
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 5: going to be so confusing, even when they're filling your

1168
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:31,720
Speaker 5: tank or even paying your bills. You won't be compromised.

1169
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 5: You won't compromise who you are when you feel confident

1170
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 5: and feel loving about who you are, and there will

1171
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,279
Speaker 5: be never no one can ever say anything about you

1172
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 5: or to you that's going to to tear how you

1173
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 5: feel about yourself, Like self worth is what is going

1174
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 5: to get you back on your feet in no time.

1175
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 5: When you yell you're deserving, that's how you Yeah, I.

1176
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: Think even like, how how did you get wait an.

1177
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 2: Say, do you think it's gonna be because I'm so

1178
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 2: much about Like you know, I'm so good, I'm so

1179
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 2: good just because of the work that I've done, like

1180
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 2: how good I feel about who I am, and even

1181
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 2: without a man, I don't miss it. I don't miss

1182
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 2: I don't even miss like dating, Like, so, do you

1183
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 2: feel like it's going to be so much harder now

1184
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:20,320
Speaker 2: to find someone? Because it would love? I would still

1185
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 2: love love and a partner. But at the same time,

1186
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, not at all. That's before it. Like a

1187
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 2: lot of my friend Like everybody that I know always

1188
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 2: has someone, They always talking to someone, they're.

1189
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 6: Always dating, They always well, who are you talking to?

1190
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 1: Right?

1191
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 6: Like?

1192
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 2: And I'm always like, is this gonna make it so

1193
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 2: much harder for me? Because I'm so okay by myself.

1194
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 5: No, I think as long as you a I think,

1195
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 5: as long as you know who you are, you're confident

1196
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 5: about that. And I think as long as you are

1197
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,839
Speaker 5: open and recognizing, I still want love.

1198
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:55,439
Speaker 4: I still would like a partner. I still want a relationship.

1199
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:56,360
Speaker 4: I think people.

1200
00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 5: I think there's women who are like I don't need it,

1201
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 5: and I'm good I don't need I don't need.

1202
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:04,720
Speaker 4: To think the people who are so traumatized.

1203
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 5: By men and by their decisions that they cut it off,

1204
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 5: the cut off the possibility, and that they don't even

1205
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 5: admit that they want They don't they want.

1206
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 4: Companionship in that way.

1207
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 5: But honestly, I think when you are so clear about

1208
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 5: what exactly it is that you want, and when you

1209
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 5: have relationships that you can you like, oh, you know what,

1210
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 5: he was nice, he was faithful, but no, this didn't work,

1211
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 5: and this didn't work, and this didn't work, So you

1212
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 5: can refine the manifestation. I truly believe that is when

1213
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 5: you become you become so clear that the person that

1214
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 5: you're looking for shows up. Like a lot of people

1215
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 5: told me what I was looking for did not exist.

1216
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 5: A lot of people told me the type of personality

1217
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 5: I have would be very difficult to find a man.

1218
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 5: But I was clear about exactly who it was I

1219
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 5: was looking for. Who would who would be like compatible

1220
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 5: with me? And that's exactly who I attracted. Someone who's

1221
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 5: wild and fun and free and also wants me to

1222
00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 5: be free and also loves me who I for, who

1223
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 5: I am. When I when I honed down on that

1224
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 5: vision and that feeling, that's when that person showed up.

1225
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 5: I mean, of course, there's a lot of frogs, the

1226
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 5: and the and the journey, a lot of kissing frogs.

1227
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 5: But I think that as long as you're clear, like

1228
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 5: I do want to partner, I'm just not about to

1229
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 5: settle for some function.

1230
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that that's I think.

1231
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 5: And I also think women who are pressed when you

1232
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 5: are pressed about having a nigga, when you are pressed

1233
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 5: and always looking, and that's never run conversation, it's desperate

1234
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 5: and what like. When you are desperate, the universe just

1235
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,480
Speaker 5: brings in whatever stragglers.

1236
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 4: That are available, and that's what you don't want.

1237
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 5: You have got to be picky, and you've got to

1238
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 5: be clear and don't make compromises, be compromising because they

1239
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 5: may not show up exactly how you think.

1240
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 4: But also just to be clear about what it is

1241
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 4: you won't accept.

1242
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 5: Like a nigga telling you not to smile a lot.

1243
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: I think also I'd like to add that when you do,

1244
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:51,600
Speaker 1: because I'm I'm curious to me to like, what are

1245
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 1: a few things that I guess helped you be really

1246
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: good secure yourself. But also I just want to add

1247
00:58:56,800 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: to the level of a track that we're talking about,

1248
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 1: because I think that sometimes though what happens and I've

1249
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 1: seen and I've like I've done this, I've seen that

1250
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 1: happen with people that I've done a lot of work

1251
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 1: on themselves, is that they still can't like sometimes they

1252
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 1: might miss the blessing, like because they might not show

1253
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 1: up exactly as you thought. Because even even you mean,

1254
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 1: like even you, like Orlando you first met and you're like,

1255
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know what I mean, And like

1256
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 1: you had to like reimagine what this person you called

1257
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 1: in looks like, not like physically, but just like their personality,

1258
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 1: And like if you want someone that mirrors you, can

1259
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 1: you mirror? Can you mirror yourself back?

1260
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 5: Is that now you know what it feels like it.

1261
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: You know, and it's like, actually that's really me. Fuck,

1262
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 1: Like I want someone to accept me for all of

1263
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 1: these things. But like you know, so it's like I

1264
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 1: think that even after you've done the work and you

1265
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 1: start to look for love, there's still like things you

1266
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 1: have to work through as someone who has done a

1267
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: lot of work, and like also just releasing the work

1268
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 1: a little bit and letting life just happen and guide

1269
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 1: you and not trying to like overprotect or over police

1270
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 1: the work that even best it into yourself because you're like,

1271
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 1: I'll never make that mistake again. I'll never see you know,

1272
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: and it's so it's like kind of finding I guess

1273
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: a discernment like within that as well and and being

1274
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 1: open to Yeah.

1275
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:22,840
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know, I feel like ask you too.

1276
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm like, I'm sorry.

1277
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:26,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I just feel like something.

1278
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1279
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 2: So I just feel like I've made it now that

1280
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,479
Speaker 2: I've become this person that I am, like secure one,

1281
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 2: the one that loves themselves like I made it so

1282
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 2: much different, so much more difficult for anyone because I

1283
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 2: just don't take no ship, like I don't take like

1284
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:51,400
Speaker 2: I will not accept anything, but like something that really

1285
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:55,360
Speaker 2: like really fits and really like aligns with who I

1286
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 2: am and everything. Like so I feel like it's just

1287
01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:00,919
Speaker 2: so much more harder now for anyone it's to be

1288
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 2: really difficult.

1289
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 6: And I feel like they're intimidates men just in general.

1290
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 2: They can kind of like sense it and feel it,

1291
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 2: and then a lot of times they don't want to

1292
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 2: get like involved, like they like me, but they kind

1293
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:15,480
Speaker 2: of like, oh I can't live up to that.

1294
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 5: I don't know, it eliminates the fuck shit. Let that

1295
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 5: let them all fall toes.

1296
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 6: Thank you.

1297
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm not maybe sometimes I think like

1298
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 2: maybe I just need to wait till fifty when my

1299
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 2: kids are grown, because like it's too much for most

1300
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,919
Speaker 2: men right now with the three kids and the dog,

1301
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 2: and I'm like, this is that they're literally all my life,

1302
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 2: live my life, Like I'm always with that, and like

1303
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 2: if you can't fit into this world, then it just

1304
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 2: won't work right now.

1305
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:52,880
Speaker 6: But they're going to be grown, so when it went

1306
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 6: by so.

1307
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 2: Fast, they're already ten and eleven, like in another six years,

1308
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 2: like they're going to be doing their own thing, and

1309
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 2: I'm going to be freed up.

1310
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 6: Maybe sometimes I'm like, maybe I'm just gonna wait a

1311
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 6: few years.

1312
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 1: No, you don't have to wait, but also you should

1313
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,120
Speaker 1: probably you also probably I mean I can't tell you

1314
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: what to do, but I would suggest also getting used

1315
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 1: to having freeing up a little bit, because at some

1316
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: point they will be out of the house, and then

1317
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 1: when they are, you're gonna be like, what the fuck

1318
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,200
Speaker 1: do I do with myself? You know, like so so

1319
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 1: not maybe right out the time I know you live

1320
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 1: your girls. I'm not telling you not to be with them,

1321
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 1: but there's also like a balance that maybe you need

1322
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:26,920
Speaker 1: to find too, so that you can open yourself up

1323
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 1: for dating, it's not. It doesn't make you any less

1324
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,600
Speaker 1: of a present parent or a lesser mom. If you

1325
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 1: need to have a way to work on love, for

1326
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 1: you to prioritize love in your life, Like, I think

1327
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 1: that that ultimately will open up your heart and even

1328
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 1: more and being even like you might even become a

1329
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 1: different mother. I know that I have. I feel like

1330
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: a different mother now that I'm in a relationship that

1331
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm in, Like I know that, Like my heart feels

1332
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 1: more like softer, more patient, like more family oriented. Like

1333
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 1: it just it's different, you know. So. Yeah, I think

1334
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 1: like you needed just to bring your afe on the

1335
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 1: good vibe. Retreat. Oh yeah, retreat you love to We're

1336
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: gonna figure We're going to figure that. We're going to

1337
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 1: figure that out. We're going to figure that out. Twenty

1338
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 1: twenty six. I would manifest in twenty six.

1339
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:17,640
Speaker 6: I would love to next year.

1340
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's yoga, it's right up your alley.

1341
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:22,919
Speaker 6: I need that so bad.

1342
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, somebody needs to hold my girls out,

1343
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:27,800
Speaker 2: so I'll figure that.

1344
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you have to let them, You have to

1345
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 1: let them do it, and you have to you know,

1346
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 1: be able to release that control too, because it's hard

1347
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: when you've been doing everything for as long as you have,

1348
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 1: like and you and I know you feel good doing

1349
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: it and it's not like but like you don't know

1350
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,120
Speaker 1: what you feel like without doing it, so it's like,

1351
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 1: what what does that feel like? Like? You know, so

1352
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 1: like being able to kind of really and your your girls, like,

1353
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:54,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure they would love like some sort

1354
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 1: of I don't know. I don't know where they would go.

1355
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,520
Speaker 1: I mean, if I know there other experience, if I

1356
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:00,160
Speaker 1: know they're safe.

1357
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, safe and comfortable. Comfortable it's a word for me, because.

1358
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 5: I am we should we should have planned this sooner.

1359
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 5: I know that while they're there with this with family.

1360
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 6: Man, like, I just know that if they're not comfortable,

1361
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:18,360
Speaker 6: I can't enjoy myself. But if I figure it.

1362
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 2: Out where they're comfortable, right, oh my god, please please

1363
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 2: I need it and really.

1364
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:32,000
Speaker 1: Badly. Yeah, I feel you, I feel you. Okay, Wait,

1365
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 1: we didn't do an affirmation. I don't know if you

1366
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:39,120
Speaker 1: have one that you'd like to share. M I just

1367
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 1: said something earlier that I felt like it doesn't have

1368
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 1: to be an affirmation, but it was something that I

1369
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 1: wrote down because I think it's really I think it's

1370
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:50,160
Speaker 1: really important and it like relates to my life as well.

1371
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 1: You said when you don't have space, you can't create,

1372
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, yeah, man, because I have

1373
01:04:58,440 --> 01:04:59,080
Speaker 1: no ideas.

1374
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 6: I have know this because I was getting bombarded.

1375
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 2: With these ideas from strangers, not only strangers, also like

1376
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 2: friends and people suggesting what I should be doing. But

1377
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 2: I just couldn't. There was no womb for me to

1378
01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:17,919
Speaker 2: like start even the thought process of what something could

1379
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:22,439
Speaker 2: you know, become Like so I just when I read

1380
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 2: that quote, I read it somewhere I don't know where,

1381
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 2: but I read the quote like you can't like you

1382
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:26,680
Speaker 2: need space.

1383
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:27,160
Speaker 6: In order to create.

1384
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 2: I was like, God, you need to just create some

1385
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 2: space and I will be able to come up with

1386
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 2: something and come up with a plan and so that.

1387
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:38,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a great one.

1388
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 2: I love that one, and I always since I saw it,

1389
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 2: I always keep it in my head and I feel

1390
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 2: like it's really true.

1391
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,400
Speaker 6: It's really true, and now I'm living it.

1392
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:55,560
Speaker 8: Literally mm hmmm, because I'll be coming back. Yeah, I'm

1393
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 8: excited what you create with this this new space that

1394
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 8: you have. Yeah, yeah, and it's only something.

1395
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: Only this, The only good is going to come of this,

1396
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 1: you know, Like you're prioritizing yourself. You've made a choice,

1397
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:12,720
Speaker 1: a powerful choice for your family. You're giving yourself space. Yeah,

1398
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:18,520
Speaker 1: like you're using your throat chakra exactly. You know, you're

1399
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 1: in your body, like you have so many tools that

1400
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 1: you already are using just naturally and like innately in you.

1401
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 2: So I just I'm excited to see that's like the yoki.

1402
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:32,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's like that's the yo and me

1403
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 2: a big, big one is like change me so much too,

1404
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:38,440
Speaker 2: And I think that is a big, a.

1405
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 6: Crucial part of like how I found.

1406
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 2: The self love and all of that and the self

1407
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,600
Speaker 2: worth because that was one of the biggest things that

1408
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:50,760
Speaker 2: I was get thrown at me, like when I was on.

1409
01:06:50,720 --> 01:06:53,560
Speaker 6: The show, you don't have self word to be staying

1410
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 6: with this.

1411
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 2: Guy, and like I feel like I came out on

1412
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 2: the other side so big, Like I'm like now overflowing

1413
01:06:59,280 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 2: with it.

1414
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 6: Like I'm so I'm like just really proud of myself

1415
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 6: and let let us see that.

1416
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm proud of you too. I'm proud of you

1417
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:13,560
Speaker 4: and of your will be back. Everything will be better

1418
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:14,000
Speaker 4: than ever.

1419
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 6: Thank you, thank you, Oh my god.

1420
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:23,320
Speaker 5: When you know you know no one can tell you differently,

1421
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 5: So that's all that matters for real, ferral, thank you,

1422
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:28,040
Speaker 5: thank you.

1423
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:32,400
Speaker 1: Well, I've pulled some cards here, ladies. I know that

1424
01:07:32,720 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 1: we're not in person right now, but I pulled.

1425
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 2: Let's see, Oh my god, yes the deck okay, okay,

1426
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 2: shout out to mahogany Taro.

1427
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 1: And so I'm just going to pull a collective card.

1428
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:53,920
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm.

1429
01:07:53,800 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 3: Hmmm mm hmm.

1430
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 4: The card is it turned around?

1431
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 1: Sorry to count because my rooman knowledge isn't so great.

1432
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:13,720
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, is this nine? So it's nine

1433
01:08:13,720 --> 01:08:17,800
Speaker 1: of pedacles? We have the nine pentacles that we here.

1434
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:20,599
Speaker 4: Oh it looks like you about to be rich, bitch.

1435
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was positive. I think.

1436
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:29,759
Speaker 5: Look at her, she's in her garden. She has coins

1437
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,760
Speaker 5: all around her. She looks like royal, she looks she

1438
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:36,360
Speaker 5: looks like she's the nervous system is relaxed and she's

1439
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:39,760
Speaker 5: chilling and she's just all knowing that she's in abundance.

1440
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:44,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're manifesting coins for amina for all women listening.

1441
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: Yes included, okay, coins let me okay, so I have

1442
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:58,439
Speaker 1: the the meaning mm hmm. So when a nine of

1443
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 1: pedacles shows up up in your tarror, reading it means sorry,

1444
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:13,720
Speaker 1: it's still loading bitty taro oh Okay, abundance, luxury, self sufficiency,

1445
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 1: financial independence. The tarot cards never.

1446
01:09:20,200 --> 01:09:21,759
Speaker 6: Perfect one right now.

1447
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,400
Speaker 1: Okay, you have worked hard to create abundance in your life,

1448
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 1: and the nin ap Pednacles says you can finally enjoy

1449
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:32,680
Speaker 1: the fruits of your labor than when the nine A

1450
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:35,040
Speaker 1: pedicles appears in a taroor reading, do not be scared

1451
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:40,360
Speaker 1: to splurge, okay, indulge or pamper yourself, especially as a

1452
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,080
Speaker 1: reward for a reward for all your hard work. Treat

1453
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:45,400
Speaker 1: yourself to a special occasion or a personal gift to

1454
01:09:45,439 --> 01:09:49,160
Speaker 1: celebrate your journey. Here. You have achieved so much. You

1455
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:53,479
Speaker 1: have you have. You may not be at the finish

1456
01:09:53,560 --> 01:09:56,559
Speaker 1: line just yet. This is your opportunity to acknowledge your

1457
01:09:56,560 --> 01:10:00,800
Speaker 1: achievements and re energize yourself for the final phase. The

1458
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 1: nine of Pentacles also speaks of financial independence. The woman

1459
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 1: in this car and has created a luxurious lifestyle by

1460
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:09,400
Speaker 1: her own actions and efforts. She encourages you to do

1461
01:10:09,479 --> 01:10:12,160
Speaker 1: the same to create abundance and independence so that you

1462
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:15,280
Speaker 1: can take care of yourself in the long term. Invest

1463
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:18,000
Speaker 1: wisely and seek financial advice to make the most of

1464
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,880
Speaker 1: your wealth. Don't rely on others to support you. This

1465
01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:24,719
Speaker 1: nine is an independent woman. While the suit of Pinnacles

1466
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,759
Speaker 1: typically focuses on material wealth and gain, this car suggests

1467
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:30,720
Speaker 1: that you are in harmony with the environment around you.

1468
01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:33,439
Speaker 1: You appreciate the beauty and abundance sound in nature, and

1469
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 1: you can harness this high vive energy to bring pleasure

1470
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:39,280
Speaker 1: into your life. You may enjoy gardening or floristry, or

1471
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:40,880
Speaker 1: you may just like to pass your time in the

1472
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:44,080
Speaker 1: beauty of nature with picnics and long walks.

1473
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:48,519
Speaker 6: This could not be more perfect. That is so you

1474
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:55,280
Speaker 6: so perfect? Oh yes, wow, as wow.

1475
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:56,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to send you a picture of this.

1476
01:10:57,120 --> 01:11:00,000
Speaker 5: It's the universe confirming all the things that you're already

1477
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:02,759
Speaker 5: know that are about to be upon you. So don't

1478
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:05,519
Speaker 5: even worry when you know, you know, and that's all

1479
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:06,000
Speaker 5: you have to do.

1480
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:08,000
Speaker 4: That's all it is. It's just a matter of time.

1481
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:09,559
Speaker 4: I love that.

1482
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:12,559
Speaker 1: That was that was great.

1483
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:16,760
Speaker 4: Wow, thank you, thank you for this time.

1484
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:20,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it's late in Germany, so we're gonna

1485
01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:21,320
Speaker 1: let it go.

1486
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:23,280
Speaker 6: It's like, yeah, thank.

1487
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,960
Speaker 1: You so much for coming back on the show. And

1488
01:11:26,439 --> 01:11:31,000
Speaker 1: we love you. I love you. Good energy.

1489
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:32,920
Speaker 4: Tell everybody where they can find you before we get

1490
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:33,559
Speaker 4: out of here too.

1491
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:36,719
Speaker 2: Oh, just social media, I mean a butterfly on everything.

1492
01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:40,599
Speaker 2: I mean on instead of TikTok, I am a mean

1493
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 2: a butterfly. But yeah, just I mean a butterfly. And

1494
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:46,000
Speaker 2: my music to just search, I mean a better always

1495
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:48,640
Speaker 2: ask when can we find it? It's like all platforms

1496
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:52,120
Speaker 2: have music. Just search, I mean a butterfly. And then

1497
01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:54,679
Speaker 2: if you're interested in me and my sister stick together

1498
01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:56,639
Speaker 2: black butterfly as well.

1499
01:11:58,479 --> 01:12:01,320
Speaker 4: And that's a butterfly with two D B U D

1500
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:01,640
Speaker 4: D A.

1501
01:12:01,880 --> 01:12:02,960
Speaker 6: F y yes.

1502
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,200
Speaker 1: And well, and we'll make sure every link everything in

1503
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:09,040
Speaker 1: this episode description, so make sure you check out the

1504
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:10,960
Speaker 1: links in this episode description. We have a lot of

1505
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:14,240
Speaker 1: special things happening in the copy of these episodes. So

1506
01:12:14,240 --> 01:12:16,479
Speaker 1: if you have a second, go ahead and go just

1507
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:19,560
Speaker 1: read our little beautiful description and all the things we

1508
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:24,280
Speaker 1: got going on over there, and I'll see you next week.

1509
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:25,040
Speaker 6: It's crazy, you guys.

1510
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:28,760
Speaker 2: Let this like this weird time in my life. This

1511
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:32,400
Speaker 2: just means that we need to follow up one day.

1512
01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 5: No, absolutely, and you know what we called you at

1513
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:36,439
Speaker 5: this time because this is what people needed to hear.

1514
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:38,799
Speaker 5: Other moms and other women needed to hear this message,

1515
01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:42,680
Speaker 5: and it's important, Like it's not always fucking sprinkles and butterflies,

1516
01:12:42,720 --> 01:12:44,960
Speaker 5: but it always is sprinkles and butterflies if you let

1517
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:46,800
Speaker 5: it and just you know, let me you know what,

1518
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:47,839
Speaker 5: and you are a butterfly.

1519
01:12:48,040 --> 01:12:50,080
Speaker 1: You're in transformation right.

1520
01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:52,439
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I didn't even think of that. Hello.

1521
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:56,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been in it since you named, gave yourself

1522
01:12:56,320 --> 01:13:03,240
Speaker 1: that name. It with you transformation energy, so.

1523
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:04,760
Speaker 4: It will always fly no matter what.

1524
01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:11,800
Speaker 1: My nights, my night, drink your wine.

1525
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:15,120
Speaker 4: Enjoy your time in Germany. Able see you a human.

1526
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:19,160
Speaker 6: So I love y'all, love you by by.

1527
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm living so good. Can't you tell? I went

1528
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 9: through a drought, that's until I found a well. May

1529
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:28,200
Speaker 9: might have been known Earth that used to be broken

1530
01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:31,120
Speaker 9: tail now got the blues in to like Beyonce justll

1531
01:13:31,479 --> 01:13:34,760
Speaker 9: throat shot or popping his car wearing our voices. Patriarchy

1532
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:36,480
Speaker 9: kept it in the box to it'spois.

1533
01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:38,840
Speaker 1: Women put the pee and powers.

1534
01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:39,160
Speaker 4: So what's pointless?

1535
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:40,240
Speaker 9: They want me to be good?

1536
01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:41,839
Speaker 1: So I made bad choices.

1537
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:44,439
Speaker 9: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom

1538
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:47,400
Speaker 9: geters in on, put cannabis in their bath, bon walk

1539
01:13:47,520 --> 01:13:50,360
Speaker 9: in bosses cap and I blew his cat balls hot dog.

1540
01:13:50,479 --> 01:13:51,680
Speaker 6: Now I'm immune to the.

1541
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:54,200
Speaker 9: Cat called her being no waisted straight to win like

1542
01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:54,920
Speaker 9: a dollar sign.

1543
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:56,160
Speaker 2: Mother rent the number when.

1544
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:58,439
Speaker 9: Two winds, like a water summer where you're in the winter,

1545
01:13:58,640 --> 01:13:59,759
Speaker 9: essential will win the summer.

1546
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:02,040
Speaker 4: So I do with all. Ain't no one that needs

1547
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:02,680
Speaker 4: to run it by