Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and date, terminol and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off instile. We want to
Speaker 1: welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about ity scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need.
Speaker 5: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 1: This is Chris Fairbanks, This is Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 6: Turning down strategically turning down the air conditioning. We've driven
Speaker 6: for a while and really cooled the car down.
Speaker 1: Guys, it is a hot one today.
Speaker 6: It is a scorcher in the city and has been
Speaker 6: for two weeks.
Speaker 1: Quite some time.
Speaker 2: It's really summer, summer, summer time time for traffic.
Speaker 5: Right now we're driving in it.
Speaker 1: Back to you, Karen, uh, thank you? Chris?
Speaker 4: Oh you dumb female person on a radio show.
Speaker 5: She always says thank you anyways, sports Sorry. I've always
Speaker 5: kind of wanted to be a radio guy or make
Speaker 5: fun of them.
Speaker 2: You were like a morning zoo guy there where you
Speaker 2: were sexist to me right and talked over like I'd never.
Speaker 5: Even had a dance exactly.
Speaker 1: That's what I was saying.
Speaker 4: You were going to say, sorry, careen everything you were
Speaker 4: going to say? What were you going to say?
Speaker 7: By the way, Oh, I was just going to say,
Speaker 7: I mean right right right right right right right right right, Well, anyway,
Speaker 7: we're giving away tickets to the Jambrie band Explosion, John
Speaker 7: Spencer's Explosion.
Speaker 6: Coming at you. I had something like that the other night, Karen,
Speaker 6: Can I say something embarrassing about you real quick? I
Speaker 6: don't like I really don't wait.
Speaker 1: One time I wanted to do though.
Speaker 2: I was listening to one of the one of the
Speaker 2: stations in Los Angeles and the dj a knew Adele
Speaker 2: hit had come out. It was off of her second
Speaker 2: album and it was the I think it was send
Speaker 2: my love to your new lover.
Speaker 5: Even though she was eighteen or something when she whenn't
Speaker 5: she a child?
Speaker 2: When she uh, well, she was twenty one when she
Speaker 2: her first k album came out.
Speaker 1: It's called that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: This was twenty three, but the DJ was breaking down
Speaker 2: the lyrics of some adel song. I think it was
Speaker 2: semi love but I can't remember, and basically just being
Speaker 2: like can you believe this? And then there was like
Speaker 2: a female coat like sidekick that was like I know,
Speaker 2: she's it's crazy.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh so it's all his faults.
Speaker 2: And it was this weird like it was the weirdest,
Speaker 2: the most defensive, where it's like, dude, it's a song
Speaker 2: like you hear dumb bullshit songs all day, why is
Speaker 2: this one under your skin?
Speaker 5: Just because probably, like us, they're just clawing for content.
Speaker 6: Clearly it's either that or now back to the Lama farm.
Speaker 5: We're at the fair all week, Corn dougs.
Speaker 1: Rices have you gone to the ferr yet this summer?
Speaker 5: I haven't been to a fair.
Speaker 6: I've been wanting to go to a fair for two
Speaker 6: decades and I haven't been.
Speaker 5: You just want to smell the horse, hey you?
Speaker 2: I would love to go to the fair. There's one
Speaker 2: in Pomona. There's like the you know, Los Angeles County Fair.
Speaker 6: I guess, right, I guess I'm the one that's in
Speaker 6: Orange County, which I think is the OC Fair.
Speaker 5: Of course it is. I guess I went to that
Speaker 5: ten years ago.
Speaker 2: Oh so that's a decade that's a long time, Chris, Chris,
Speaker 2: that's a long time.
Speaker 5: Hey, who's paying attention to time? We're on the air.
Speaker 6: By the way, it's six h three. I guess I'm
Speaker 6: time right now. Be quiet, care.
Speaker 5: I can't Okay, I'm gonna stop being that character.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, because I'm really mad.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's actually probably on some level, I'm hurting your feeling.
Speaker 1: I am live it. No, I get the bit.
Speaker 2: There's something about trying to act like a morning DJ.
Speaker 2: And maybe it's just because the women don't ever talk.
Speaker 2: Is I just couldn't think of one fun thing to
Speaker 2: say along with you?
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like they women on radio shows, morning radio shows,
Speaker 6: because you have to. I still do terrestrial morning radio
Speaker 6: shows to promote comedy, right, And it's always seems like
Speaker 6: they're in a position where they're just tagging jokes or
Speaker 6: giving actual information, and then the main guy is a
Speaker 6: guy that kind of either wished he was a comedian
Speaker 6: or did it for a little while, or has animosity
Speaker 6: towards comedy.
Speaker 5: Usually they have some I could have done.
Speaker 6: This, but I had it's broadcast quality voice, and so
Speaker 6: they they kind of mess with you and call you
Speaker 6: out for doing jokes, even though they want you.
Speaker 5: To do your jokes. It's never a good Sometimes it's
Speaker 5: a good time, but not that.
Speaker 6: And I usually feel bad for the females that i'd kick.
Speaker 1: Because they're yeah.
Speaker 2: Well also I think they're there, they're they're they're being
Speaker 2: used for their gender, but they don't get to express themselves.
Speaker 2: They're there to agree, which I think is a bummer.
Speaker 1: Not always.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's there's some cool ones there and have
Speaker 2: a radio.
Speaker 5: Show, and you guys don't do that. We're of course
Speaker 5: not talking to you.
Speaker 1: I'm only thinking of stuff that happened in nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 5: Ever, if you are on the.
Speaker 6: Radio in one we are talking about your Yeah, this
Speaker 6: is at about you personally.
Speaker 2: Have you now, let's be positive about the radio. Have
Speaker 2: you ever listened to Jones's jukebox?
Speaker 5: I loved it.
Speaker 1: It's the best.
Speaker 5: Because he did not follow the rules. He would have
Speaker 5: long pregnant pauses, would just exhale and stop talking, and
Speaker 5: you adjust your dial. I have a dial in eighty
Speaker 5: one escort or just your digital buttons and he.
Speaker 6: And then he just start talking again. It's like, oh,
Speaker 6: I must have gone through a dead zone. No, he
Speaker 6: just was comfortable, Yeah, with his own brain farts, and.
Speaker 1: Also seemed a little tired.
Speaker 2: But then he would like, then he would have an
Speaker 2: amazing guest because he's a legendary guitar player and musician
Speaker 2: and singer.
Speaker 1: Is all right.
Speaker 2: Then suddenly it would be like someone incredible would be
Speaker 2: on with him, and then they were just like.
Speaker 1: Do a song together. Yeah, and it was the best
Speaker 1: radio show.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: There's something to be said for just putting a guest
Speaker 6: at ease by just talking like a person. Yeah, god
Speaker 6: saying yeah. I think he still does that show. It's
Speaker 6: just not on Indy one O three one.
Speaker 2: That's right, I think it's But I do think it's somewhere.
Speaker 2: I believe it exists on NPR perhaps.
Speaker 1: I think KFPP. What's the public radio in Los Angeles?
Speaker 5: In Cincinnati w k OH, WKRP, that's right, yeah, nok.
Speaker 6: You of course, which river divides the country to where
Speaker 6: it's K on one side and W on the other?
Speaker 1: Is it the Ohio River?
Speaker 5: This is a trivia question.
Speaker 6: No, I don't know the answer, but I know it
Speaker 6: is this side of the Mississippi.
Speaker 5: That phrase is goes back to old radio.
Speaker 6: No, you're right, it doesn't but back to your original. Yes,
Speaker 6: it's so oh hot and my new place. I don't
Speaker 6: I feel bad now because I really don't think it's haunted.
Speaker 6: Maybe it was, and I'm just blocking out my experiences,
Speaker 6: which were.
Speaker 1: Real, right, but it was a misplacing thing, and.
Speaker 6: Now it's being haunted by an extremely hot temperature that
Speaker 6: has only had height. Like I'll be sitting in front
Speaker 6: of my air conditioner and then I stand up and
Speaker 6: my face is immediately sweating.
Speaker 5: I think that means there's no insulation in my place.
Speaker 6: Probably I got a big AC unit, and I've never
Speaker 6: had an air conditioning unit in the city, but I've
Speaker 6: really needed it. Yes, and I've been just sweating in
Speaker 6: my house even though I have that acy it's haunted
Speaker 6: by heat.
Speaker 1: Well. Also hot air rises as we all.
Speaker 5: Yes, so it's up.
Speaker 1: They're waiting for you all.
Speaker 6: That's why hot air ballooning is taking off, Like God,
Speaker 6: I love it.
Speaker 5: Have you ever hot air ballooned, Chris?
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 4: If there's gonna be a reason to be in a
Speaker 4: basket with your friends, either of your bunch of poppies
Speaker 4: or you're in a hot.
Speaker 6: Air balloon, We'll be right back with Karen's real life
Speaker 6: air balloon story.
Speaker 1: I'm back, did you No?
Speaker 2: I've never gone in one, but I really want to
Speaker 2: go to a hot air balloon festival. I believe they're
Speaker 2: in the fall usually, and in places like Colorado, Arizona
Speaker 2: and places with big open swaths of land.
Speaker 6: And there's always a photographer there that's planning to make
Speaker 6: an inspirational poster.
Speaker 2: That you will forward and forward and forward again through
Speaker 2: the email systems and let everyone see.
Speaker 5: That, Karen, opportunities are like clouds.
Speaker 2: See I told you this at your cousin's wedding. I'm
Speaker 2: going to tell you again. Life is like a hot
Speaker 2: air balloon.
Speaker 5: You said I was drunk, and maybe I was.
Speaker 1: But what's important is hot air balloons.
Speaker 6: They are I should do that. It's like a casual
Speaker 6: way to be up in the sky. You don't have
Speaker 6: to bungee john pre parachute. You just sit helplessly in
Speaker 6: a basket.
Speaker 1: I think you're it's dangerous though, I.
Speaker 5: Think that it is.
Speaker 6: We all know what happened to the Hindenburg. But those,
Speaker 6: I mean, those balloons aren't filled with gas?
Speaker 5: Are they?
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 5: There could be?
Speaker 6: You are next to some kind of a propane tank
Speaker 6: or explosion able unit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, it's explosion able, explosion able. Uh do you
Speaker 2: know Margaret Cho, famous comedian Margaret Cho, she was she
Speaker 2: won a hot air balloon trip somehow.
Speaker 1: I believe she won it. It's a funny thing to win,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: And then she went on it and it crashed and
Speaker 2: they were in the basket and they like had to
Speaker 2: take cover in the basket and it fucking crashed.
Speaker 5: That's horrifying.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I was looking at the I'm looking at the
Speaker 2: asshole in the car behind us that honked and is
Speaker 2: yelling at me because I'm going the speed limits.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 1: I love that guy.
Speaker 5: He's my favorite.
Speaker 1: He's a little bald. Uh, he's a little angry guy.
Speaker 1: Let's not talk about how much air he does or
Speaker 1: doesn't matter.
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, that's selling people out.
Speaker 6: And let's also a lot of people are out there angry.
Speaker 5: We don't want to persecute them.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true.
Speaker 2: I mean I'm one of those exactly. Let's stop putting
Speaker 2: me under the gun.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think it's okay for me to be pissed all
Speaker 6: day because I have a glorious head of hair.
Speaker 2: Also, I very attracted the bald men, so let's not
Speaker 2: act like that's a minus.
Speaker 5: You still have your Jason Alexander Wall of the posters.
Speaker 1: The man is fucking hot. I mean yes, but you.
Speaker 5: Said his bone structure. I really don't see it.
Speaker 6: We're gonna take a right wing call, which is most
Speaker 6: of the calls that come in because we are central to
Speaker 6: the state.
Speaker 5: A problem most you have is uh racist collars collar?
Speaker 5: Are you there?
Speaker 1: He cut out.
Speaker 2: Oh, luckily the phone systems are down and he can't
Speaker 2: communicate his personal problems to us.
Speaker 5: Oh man, that would have been good radio.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm drinking a hot tumbler of coffee right.
Speaker 2: Now, and I don't know why. It doesn't taste good.
Speaker 2: It doesn't feel good. You need it though, It's like
Speaker 2: my bottle my Bubba. I'm it's so weird that my
Speaker 2: bubba was a blanky Oh.
Speaker 6: I have got a new coffee maker, and I've been
Speaker 6: drinking quite a bit of coffee.
Speaker 1: How much would you say you drink a day?
Speaker 5: Three cups? M Yeah, throughout the day, sometimes after eight pm.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 6: And I think I still just fall asleep with ease.
Speaker 6: Is that a problem?
Speaker 1: Not at all?
Speaker 5: The guys are jerk too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all these people are losers.
Speaker 6: No hair, I guess they come in all chicken hay. Look,
Speaker 6: not all losers are baldies.
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm going to give it to the
Speaker 1: baldies this time.
Speaker 6: You know what, Say something to make me not feel
Speaker 6: bad about what I jokingly said, because I just started
Speaker 6: to sweat, because I feel like there's if this.
Speaker 2: Is a real radio show, would be some kind of
Speaker 2: beat me up scotty type of joke. If the glove
Speaker 2: doesn't fit, you must have quit type of joke.
Speaker 1: Right here, did I miss the turn? No?
Speaker 6: No, we are going to turn right in three blocks, perfect,
Speaker 6: three blocks. We're picking up Caitlin Gill. I'm very excited
Speaker 6: to see her.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite comedians.
Speaker 2: I can't believe we haven't had her on yet, have
Speaker 2: we or did me a long time ago? No?
Speaker 6: Never have I just I have to think about it
Speaker 6: because she had a show at the Improblem along the time,
Speaker 6: around the same time that you had business class there,
Speaker 6: and her and Bobcat listening to Bobcat tell stories that
Speaker 6: am were to write here, tell stories about actual celebrities
Speaker 6: and experiences in his life. But she would always call
Speaker 6: him out like he was bragging about on being friends
Speaker 6: with Robin Williams or whatever, and yeah, she was so
Speaker 6: good at roasting him. And it's she lived at the
Speaker 6: time in his basement, and I think they're like there she.
Speaker 5: Is, yes, Oh, oh, she's gonna have so much fun.
Speaker 1: She is going to love this. Sorry. Sorry, that was
Speaker 1: my funny prank on your tailing.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 1: That's a great prink.
Speaker 3: HI know that'd be funny if you just kept driving
Speaker 3: down the street as I panicked and tried to get
Speaker 3: into the car.
Speaker 1: It's just like high school.
Speaker 5: It's so fun to drag your friends.
Speaker 1: Oh man, what a wonderful treat. That was high school memories.
Speaker 1: As soon as he in the car, right, don't ever forget.
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure that, like nine to eleven,
Speaker 2: you never forget high school.
Speaker 5: Always my brain.
Speaker 3: I was out of high school by nine to eleven.
Speaker 3: I was my freshman year of college. That happened, and
Speaker 3: my roommate heard the news like Pacific Coast time, oh,
Speaker 3: and was very groggy and didn't understand and misheard the
Speaker 3: word terrorists as Paris and spent woke me up like
Speaker 3: Paris attacked New York. So until we made our way
Speaker 3: to the living room TV, there was a breed period
Speaker 3: of great confusion, not to say the confusion was.
Speaker 1: Alleviated or that I was like relieved at what?
Speaker 5: Actually, yeah, it really doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: If it only got worse. You know.
Speaker 2: My sister did the same thing, but she attacked No,
Speaker 2: just the confusion. When she called, she made it sound
Speaker 2: she goes they attacked the White House, and I immediately
Speaker 2: assumed aliens and.
Speaker 1: Was like what Because the way she was doing it
Speaker 1: and the level at which the hysteria was happening, I
Speaker 1: was like, she was like, they attacked the White House.
Speaker 1: They attacked the White House. I think.
Speaker 5: The posters were not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all thought it.
Speaker 5: Was going to be a UFO.
Speaker 3: My only image I have of a building exploding is
Speaker 3: the White House exploding in Independence Day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all we have to go on.
Speaker 6: When we were in high school, in this senior studio,
Speaker 6: which was the older kids that he enjoyed drawing, they
Speaker 6: had us do a fake magazine cover and I did
Speaker 6: a Time magazine.
Speaker 5: Cover and it was of our high school burning down.
Speaker 3: It was simpler time when you were allowed to turn
Speaker 3: in such things.
Speaker 6: I would have been in so much trouble nowadays, and
Speaker 6: they just I just got away with it.
Speaker 5: I shouldn't have.
Speaker 1: That's how good the art was.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of early Simpsons of Bart making the
Speaker 3: school explode, yes, and I feel like they don't do
Speaker 3: that so much in season thirty eight or whatever they're
Speaker 3: on now.
Speaker 1: Well, same with the with Homer strangling Bart.
Speaker 3: Oh right, Yeah, less physical abuse going on in the
Speaker 3: Simpson household in literal strength strangulation.
Speaker 6: Definitely strangle him so hard that his mouth was open
Speaker 6: and his tongue would turn to a snake and jiggle outside.
Speaker 3: To explain animation, Yeah, that's the best way to enjoy
Speaker 3: it is when somebody tells you about it.
Speaker 1: That's the way I've seen Rick and Morty.
Speaker 5: So let me talk in detail about certain Tom and Jerry.
Speaker 2: It's a transcription for the blind, but the podcast version.
Speaker 1: Thank you for picking me up.
Speaker 6: Thank you for being picked up and sitting here so
Speaker 6: far and talking.
Speaker 1: I legitimately do need a ride. Love. I appreciate what live.
Speaker 5: I assume it's on business.
Speaker 1: It's it is business. I am our.
Speaker 3: Final Destination is not a movie about teens dying inevitably,
Speaker 3: but in fact the world famous Hollywood improv which every
Speaker 3: July is taken over by teen tours.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 5: I sit in there without them letting me know.
Speaker 6: And yes, school bus pulls up, try and make fifteen
Speaker 6: year olds laugh.
Speaker 3: And they usually put them in the main room mixed
Speaker 3: in with regular people. Yes, but they don't anymore. It's
Speaker 3: in the lab. Oh that's good. So it's only them.
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's good or not.
Speaker 6: I think that knowing and expecting that and knowing that
Speaker 6: you're not going to be it's not a mixed group
Speaker 6: like adults, I think you'll have fun.
Speaker 5: I would have fun.
Speaker 1: I've already done it three times.
Speaker 3: This week really was the first one was so awful
Speaker 3: that I came back with a plan.
Speaker 5: I did so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm loving this. This is gonna this is all
Speaker 1: the stronger. This is the Caitlin Gill Superstar Stars.
Speaker 5: Sorry I said that it was going to be fine.
Speaker 5: I didn't know it already wasn't fun.
Speaker 3: One time it was already very much not fine. And
Speaker 3: I was hosting, which means the whole night is just hamstring.
Speaker 1: Why, yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: I went in so naively confident, which are usually my
Speaker 3: worst sets. Like you'd come to recognize that feeling of
Speaker 3: like I think this is going to go fine is
Speaker 3: like a pourtent proncester.
Speaker 5: Always you're back against the wall.
Speaker 1: Let's just riff up top, be really easy and cat.
Speaker 3: No, it didn't work at all. I didn't have for
Speaker 3: a single minute. And I was telling jokes and it
Speaker 3: was awful and they didn't like them or me, and
Speaker 3: they weren't wrong.
Speaker 1: It was my fault.
Speaker 6: Yeah, be nervous, be scared, because then you'll fall back
Speaker 6: on your your defense mechanism of self defense funny if humans.
Speaker 3: No, I didn't have, no my my funny bone left
Speaker 3: my body entirely.
Speaker 1: It took a vacation.
Speaker 3: It decided I get the night off, but you get
Speaker 3: to stay on stage for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: I got replaced with the hatred bud.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the fearbone, whatever that was, became all of my bones.
Speaker 1: I hate so many bones.
Speaker 3: I so it was not The hosting gig was very
Speaker 3: bad all the way through. Kerseltanovich did an incredible job,
Speaker 3: but only Karaseltanovich on that lineup.
Speaker 1: She's made of iron, I think and had.
Speaker 3: Children, yes, but I realized after that that it wasn't
Speaker 3: the fact that they are children that makes that audience weird.
Speaker 3: It's the fact that they know each other, and audiences
Speaker 3: are supposed to be strangers another. That's coral, and it's
Speaker 3: insane how much that dynamic changes things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like they if humans.
Speaker 3: Are apex predators, these poor children are like just leaving
Speaker 3: their dens for the first time.
Speaker 1: I'm hunting on their own.
Speaker 3: And the only animals they know to kill are like
Speaker 3: the ones that are weak and limping. So if you
Speaker 3: show them weakness, they have no other instinct other than
Speaker 3: to kill you. Like they don't know hunt for sport,
Speaker 3: they don't know selecting tasty animals. They just thrive on
Speaker 3: finding weakness.
Speaker 2: And the and they're doing it to each other. So
Speaker 2: having you be the common enemy.
Speaker 1: So such a relief when they turn on you together.
Speaker 5: Sure you want us to drop you off?
Speaker 3: Well, okay, So the last couple of times have gone
Speaker 3: much better because I leaned into the whole part where
Speaker 3: they know each other. I don't do any jokes. I
Speaker 3: give away most likely to awards that are all stupid
Speaker 3: and benign, like most likely to ditch the plane home
Speaker 3: and stay in LA and become famous. Wow, most likely
Speaker 3: to become my accountant, just dumb. It ends with beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 3: It's been crushing it worked better. My hope was like,
Speaker 3: well they'll maybe they'll shout names. Ideally they'll all shout
Speaker 3: the same name, and without fail, everyone agrees no matter
Speaker 3: what the question is.
Speaker 1: They all have so want it. It's brian their mind.
Speaker 1: That's awesome.
Speaker 6: Are you asking things like who's most likely to succeed
Speaker 6: or is it more specific?
Speaker 1: Well? I couldn't.
Speaker 3: So the only thing they laugh at is the word fuck, shit, piss.
Speaker 3: But as soon as you're like fucking shitting, pissing, they panic,
Speaker 3: Like nouns are very funny, but verbing those nouns terrifying.
Speaker 1: They want to laugh at fuck they are they don't fuck.
Speaker 5: They're conjugation snobs.
Speaker 3: So comics bounce back and forth between like dirty stories
Speaker 3: and like you know, sort of dirty ribs because they
Speaker 3: all laugh at the word fuck.
Speaker 1: But it is tense in there.
Speaker 6: That's funny because when I did it it was with adults.
Speaker 6: It was just regular crowd with kids thrown in, and
Speaker 6: they wanted us to be clean.
Speaker 3: I guess that they go back and like they it's
Speaker 3: always like do what you want. But nobody's been told
Speaker 3: to censor this time around. I can't say they've been
Speaker 3: careful with these lineups. I love you in prov but
Speaker 3: you are not curating.
Speaker 1: Well the best team perform.
Speaker 6: Maybe they just no money dirty specifically to the things
Speaker 6: they're dealing with, like putting vodka in their buttholes.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, those.
Speaker 5: Blow job parties parties.
Speaker 1: Hold on, Stephen, are you you know?
Speaker 3: I have a vitamin seed drop? Would you like one?
Speaker 5: I might take you up?
Speaker 1: Okay, thinks.
Speaker 3: Back there, So I wanted it would It might be, oh,
Speaker 3: it's a great fruit.
Speaker 6: The last ten minutes is Stephen dead in the bag?
Speaker 1: That would be what happened to right next to you.
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, by the way, I just laugh
Speaker 1: at your death.
Speaker 2: So I was going to tell you one time I
Speaker 2: did that. We of course did, and this was, you know,
Speaker 2: late nineties. I was with Lynn Chakraff, the legendary Oadian
Speaker 2: comedian who's the most funny, and we were we both
Speaker 2: ate it astoundingly and then we were sitting but we
Speaker 2: went and sat back behind them and we were we
Speaker 2: were quietly heckling them for the rest of the show.
Speaker 2: So we would just be like sitting there talking to
Speaker 2: each other, and then Lynn would lean forward and go,
Speaker 2: look that's Tommy Hill figure and you would.
Speaker 1: Just point to a man and then like four of
Speaker 1: whom would look over. It was so hilarious. We were
Speaker 1: just like very.
Speaker 2: Randomly bullying them, but in a way they didn't get
Speaker 2: and it was making us laugh so hard.
Speaker 3: Oh, it feels so good during the tables kids, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I had the power in me.
Speaker 2: Alsoid they were at the show, we were, hut they were.
Speaker 2: They were all given ice cream Sunday.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they got ice cream right before the show starts,
Speaker 3: which is like it's in the day, it's not dark yet.
Speaker 1: They all start by like seven. I want five thirty tomorrow.
Speaker 1: That is not a time for common You do not.
Speaker 3: Tell jokes then, No, but the nuggetings fun. I've never
Speaker 3: seen more French rise in the lab. They must get food,
Speaker 3: so they all order it and they're all rich. Yes,
Speaker 3: they're on a teen tours. It seems like birthright for college.
Speaker 3: It seems like to be a specifically Jewish program, and
Speaker 3: it's like all college tours all over the place.
Speaker 2: So they basically come to look at USC and UCLA
Speaker 2: and then they're gonna go watch some comedy.
Speaker 3: Yes exactly, it would be, but it takes two weeks somehow,
Speaker 3: I don't know. Last night, somebody said they were a
Speaker 3: Russian Jew and one kid in the front just scoffed,
Speaker 3: We're all Russian, and it was like, just such a
Speaker 3: weird flex trying to differentiate what kind of like Jewish
Speaker 3: heritage he has and another kid being like common.
Speaker 1: Was just ridiculous. Oh man.
Speaker 3: During the show, my last award is the most likely
Speaker 3: to be qualified to give me a makeover and my first.
Speaker 1: I've done this twice.
Speaker 3: The first time around, I didn't bring anything to give
Speaker 3: me a makeover with, so I had the kitchen give
Speaker 3: me condiments and a plate of napkins, and I just
Speaker 3: turned around from the crowd and let the kid who
Speaker 3: was elected as a sweet boy, who looked very fancy,
Speaker 3: he aggressively painted my face with.
Speaker 1: And it's some got in my eye and it hurt.
Speaker 3: So I turned around glide like the I ended the
Speaker 3: set just eyes all squinted, and one of the sweetest
Speaker 3: staff members was standing by the stage with this pile
Speaker 3: of napkins, like, oh my god, herre do okay?
Speaker 1: And that was fine.
Speaker 3: I washed it all off, but I found the staff
Speaker 3: like huddled outside later, like she doesn't look as bad
Speaker 3: as I thought, and one of them like turns to me, like,
Speaker 3: did you know there was siracha in that ketchup?
Speaker 1: Once it hit my eyes, I figured it out.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I got learned my lesson and got a
Speaker 3: single thing of lipstick and state that all I wear
Speaker 3: is lipstick. So I allowed a girl. She had every
Speaker 3: opportunity to paint a giant penis on my face.
Speaker 1: But I commend her. She just did hearts, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: on my cheek.
Speaker 5: Only if you had passed out at a party, would she.
Speaker 1: I like to think that she's a good sort.
Speaker 3: I feel like even at a party, she'd just do
Speaker 3: little flowers. She had more time and elegant litt hummingbird.
Speaker 3: Really she painted my face is intimate, not inappropriately so,
Speaker 3: but like you know, she was near my face.
Speaker 1: How many people are on the show? Rustly?
Speaker 6: I want to say, it's six's has that going for it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Not too long? Not too many people?
Speaker 3: No, Yes, it moves along at the right pace when
Speaker 3: t is a long set.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you don't get them back gone, they're gone. Ye.
Speaker 3: Any estimation of you is immediate and certain, and they
Speaker 3: don't shake it.
Speaker 5: There was a daytime already.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is going to be good.
Speaker 5: Five five year old party at a spaghetti factory in Calgary. Oh,
Speaker 5: and they weren't. I have a bunch of childlike word
Speaker 5: jokes though, and they were doing okay.
Speaker 6: They were sweet kids. But then I just started someone
Speaker 6: brought something up. It was like, they're leftover pizza and
Speaker 6: I ate it and they all laughed and then I'm like, okay,
Speaker 6: bring up anything you have in.
Speaker 5: Front of you and they started screaming. They had so
Speaker 5: much fun and I just whatever it is, they're pouring
Speaker 5: mustard on I screaming and it was Yeah, it was
Speaker 5: like it was not the.
Speaker 6: Best situation to put myself in. But the staff was
Speaker 6: coming out like, who's that guy? No one's ever done
Speaker 6: that well with the kids. Yeah, but then they had
Speaker 6: to clean up.
Speaker 1: They weren't happy about the ketchup on the mic the
Speaker 1: first night around.
Speaker 3: That's never any any klinic cleaning mustard and ice cream
Speaker 3: ground into carpet.
Speaker 1: Somebody pays for that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, ketchup.
Speaker 3: It did, like this ridiculous thing. Sorry, this ride is
Speaker 3: just like, let me tell you about sets from my past.
Speaker 1: That's all I can think of right now.
Speaker 3: I did a Halloween at the Punchline where you know,
Speaker 3: comics who dressed up did sets, which is sort of
Speaker 3: the tradition. I suppose that's not unique. It's Halloween, yes,
Speaker 3: But I dressed up as the birthday girl. It was
Speaker 3: my birthday and I was just super poudy and complaining.
Speaker 3: And you know, last year my birthday was on Easter
Speaker 3: and that sucked because that's Jesus a birthday too, kind of,
Speaker 3: but so was Christmas. And when my birthday was on Christmas,
Speaker 3: it was hair. I was just obnoxious and had all
Speaker 3: like all sorts of birthdays.
Speaker 1: And the finishing.
Speaker 3: The little cherry on top was that I only eat
Speaker 3: cake on my birthday, and I can only eat it
Speaker 3: while people are singing Happy Birthday. And I'd had this
Speaker 3: piece of red velvet cake that I brought, and so
Speaker 3: the crowd sang Happy Birthday while I attempted to eat
Speaker 3: a whole piece of cake, which I was very optimistic
Speaker 3: I could accomplish. As it turns out, it was hard.
Speaker 3: I sort of just pushed the cake onto and around
Speaker 3: my face. Sure, I'm gonna say generously, a third of
Speaker 3: it got into my mouth, but the time was moving
Speaker 3: so quickly and I needed to get it out of
Speaker 3: my hand. I got cake all over that stage, all
Speaker 3: over it, and the comics just stepped on it all night.
Speaker 3: I did not hear the end of that for a
Speaker 3: short time.
Speaker 1: I deserved it. I needer to hear about that again.
Speaker 3: My apologies publicly to the San Francisco punchline for the
Speaker 3: time I ground cake into the carpet.
Speaker 5: Oh there, and are they closing or is that a rumor?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I hope not I did. I was
Speaker 1: just up there in June.
Speaker 5: That's your home club, it's my home.
Speaker 3: Club, and just in case it closes, I went up
Speaker 3: there and for the headlining dates I had in June,
Speaker 3: I recorded a little lot of them and it comes
Speaker 3: out in August.
Speaker 2: What is the name of the major? Oh, you're already
Speaker 2: saying it. I named it after my dog? What major?
Speaker 1: Oh? Major? Yeah, that's a good name. The timing just
Speaker 1: came up so fast.
Speaker 3: Usually my family would be around, but it was just
Speaker 3: me and the dog up there for those shows. So
Speaker 3: Red Scott, who's the sweet San Francisco comic, just happened
Speaker 3: to be there with his camera and he got this
Speaker 3: ridiculously great picture me and my dog.
Speaker 1: So that's the cover, and that's the name.
Speaker 5: I love that. It's a great picture.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 5: And then we're going to go. You're doing like a
Speaker 5: tour and I am going with you.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for coming. We're going to the Bay.
Speaker 3: That'll be fun.
Speaker 5: It'll be fun.
Speaker 3: Santa Cruz and San Francisco and Petaluma. Yes, yeah, we're
Speaker 3: to the Palm, the great Distillery that Gin played on
Speaker 3: the seventeenth.
Speaker 1: Yep, yeah, I hear. That's good. I think it is good.
Speaker 3: I've done. I've had fun doing chosen Pedaloma. The Pedalama
Speaker 3: Festival was pretty fun.
Speaker 5: There is a Lama festival. I just made reference to
Speaker 5: a lama.
Speaker 1: It's a comedy fest. We'll call Alma.
Speaker 2: That's what people is sometimes called Pedaloma when they mis
Speaker 2: pronounced it.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 3: I couldn't get to catch it on because I am
Speaker 3: from Napa, a neighboring city to Petaluma. I always wanted
Speaker 3: net people from Napa to be called Napkins. And I
Speaker 3: can't get anyone to jump on board with me. I
Speaker 3: thought it's like right there. I thought it would it
Speaker 3: just be assumed.
Speaker 1: But it was too good of an ideas. Come on,
Speaker 1: what is that?
Speaker 5: Even there's the capital of Montana.
Speaker 6: It's called Helena, and I always wanted to open a
Speaker 6: hand basket store to call it Helen.
Speaker 5: A handbasket. We'd sell other things and it's good, it's base.
Speaker 1: I worry.
Speaker 6: We just have listen. Let me hear the whole. The
Speaker 6: inventory is going to be all over the place.
Speaker 2: There'll just be handhand baskets, farm basket, door, but mainly baskets.
Speaker 1: The TV show Basket, Yes, DVD's of the TV.
Speaker 3: Show Aber Best Good Tree, but Aberdashery is what I
Speaker 3: was going for. I don't even know if I'm saying
Speaker 3: that right, so I can't punt it or portmanteaua and
Speaker 3: I actually know the pronunciation.
Speaker 5: We are an anti pun?
Speaker 1: Is this a punfrey car?
Speaker 3: That's why I don't have a lid on my coffee
Speaker 3: and I'm inclined to make puns.
Speaker 1: You got to tell me before I get in.
Speaker 3: Don't know why bobcat Goldthwaite is my friend, or why
Speaker 3: he would ever give me my phone his phone number,
Speaker 3: because all I did with it for about a solid
Speaker 3: year while I was traveling was just take pictures of
Speaker 3: business pun names and send them and like not even
Speaker 3: high hello, you know, looking forward to see you, buddy. Nope,
Speaker 3: just pictures of like folking tie and like you know,
Speaker 3: it's a There was a bunt cake store and I
Speaker 3: can't remember the name of it.
Speaker 1: Nothing bunt cakes good.
Speaker 5: We actually liked that one. That was better than hell
Speaker 5: and a handbasket.
Speaker 1: I don't know I'm gonna put hell in a hand That's.
Speaker 2: I think the difference is one was real. Actually the
Speaker 2: other one was felt astroligent.
Speaker 1: It felt fake.
Speaker 5: You didn't like that. I didn't commit to actually opening
Speaker 5: the store. That's the only problem with the joke.
Speaker 2: I want to see paperwork. I want to see a
Speaker 2: rental agree, I want indeed.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Right before you got in the car, Caitlin, I
Speaker 6: was talking about how much fun it was to watch
Speaker 6: you host Uh.
Speaker 5: Why am I calling it? When you were in the
Speaker 5: cranberries with Bob. It was not.
Speaker 1: Those were big shoes to fill.
Speaker 3: But for the last couple of years have been trying
Speaker 3: my best. No, I know that, and you can tell
Speaker 3: by my speaking voice that that was would be an option.
Speaker 3: We hosted crab Apples together, the silly show the Problem.
Speaker 6: I kind of roast him and it was really fun
Speaker 6: because like watching two funny siblings.
Speaker 3: We have it's a sibling like relationship. It's very odd.
Speaker 3: I met him at the when the Oh Purple Onion
Speaker 3: was still the Purple Onion. Oh yeah, his daughter was
Speaker 3: there making fun of him, and we're on the same lineup.
Speaker 3: I just sat down and started making fun of him
Speaker 3: and have not stopped making fun of him for years now.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 5: He does well.
Speaker 6: He's a fun person to watch be made fun of
Speaker 6: because he just starts giggling.
Speaker 3: Oh he does start giggling, and I, you know, he's
Speaker 3: the best dude. I'd also, I, you know, have proven
Speaker 3: my loyalty. I did pick the man up from the
Speaker 3: hospital on at least one occasion. He had to have
Speaker 3: shoulder surgery and he went out of the hospital the
Speaker 3: same day, super groggy, like he'd gone all the way under.
Speaker 3: He was on all sorts of pain meds or whatever.
Speaker 3: And he's a sober dude, so a pain med goes
Speaker 3: a long way.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had to pick him up and he was getting
Speaker 3: dressed to leave, and he was in a little gown
Speaker 3: and he swung his legs over and like I'm going
Speaker 3: to pull up his pants, And I asked him, like,
Speaker 3: are you do you have your underwear on yet, and
Speaker 3: he has a sly little smile like no, And then
Speaker 3: he whipped up his gown and he absolutely had his
Speaker 3: underwear on. He still had the wherewithal to get me
Speaker 3: while in a hospital bed. I get, I get as
Speaker 3: good as I give from abcat nice. I did tour
Speaker 3: with him for a little while, and the number of
Speaker 3: bookers that presumed the reason I was touring with him
Speaker 3: was because we were boning was all of them.
Speaker 1: It was just.
Speaker 3: I'd like to work there again. But one lady, it
Speaker 3: was a lady that nearrows it way down. But one
Speaker 3: lady got his one hotel room that was the lady
Speaker 3: and wouldn't shake it the whole weekend, just like, well,
Speaker 3: are you sure what are you doing with that second room?
Speaker 6: Is it just doesn't know what she's doing because she
Speaker 6: has her job, because she has sex with the club owner.
Speaker 6: I mean, I I became that person she is.
Speaker 3: That's I'd blame her. I'd shame right now. We'll blame
Speaker 3: and shame.
Speaker 1: Get it. That's what we're all about on the show.
Speaker 1: Get It. That's what we like.
Speaker 3: No puns and blaming and chain. Oh you just spoke
Speaker 3: that podcast into existence.
Speaker 6: A problem We're also going to do one where we
Speaker 6: talk about Radiohead, even though we don't know much about
Speaker 6: the band.
Speaker 2: They're just going to kind of chat ignorantly about Radiohead.
Speaker 1: We think people look like Riodhead will be really mad.
Speaker 1: People that don't like it will also be mad. I
Speaker 1: man't imagine a fan base. You would anger more easily
Speaker 1: and be like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think like I think of all their songs, i'd say,
Speaker 2: come into America's probably the best one.
Speaker 1: We'll do stuff like that.
Speaker 5: Is that the one that's like me?
Speaker 1: Head? Yeah, but with Trumba.
Speaker 5: I like that one with Trumbo.
Speaker 6: Okay, now we are doing the podcast.
Speaker 3: I bought Radioheads Pablo Honey because I was in a
Speaker 3: Tower Records and I feel like I was holding this
Speaker 3: was in that this had to be like ninety four ish.
Speaker 3: I was holding like maybe something dumber. I was a
Speaker 3: big Cake fan. I'm still a big Cake fan. I
Speaker 3: feel like I hid a Cake album but it's gentle.
Speaker 3: And then a cute man approached me and I asked
Speaker 3: for recommendations, and he recommended Radiohead, and I learned so
Speaker 3: quickly the power of a cute smile. I bought a
Speaker 3: Radiohead CD and was determined to like it. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 3: never gonna see that cute man again. I am a
Speaker 3: thirteen year old child in cargo shorts and birkenstocks and
Speaker 3: a shirt with frogs and they're anatomical names on them.
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not gonna win the prize of Tower
Speaker 3: Records guy, right.
Speaker 1: You don't know. I still didn't get album already.
Speaker 3: I still did learn all the words to creep.
Speaker 1: There's nothing.
Speaker 2: I have always found that a really good way to
Speaker 2: trick a guy into liking you is if you you
Speaker 2: find out what bam they're super into, and then you
Speaker 2: pretend you're already into them.
Speaker 1: That's worked like four different times a lot of movies.
Speaker 1: I'm like, sorry, let me turn down the Sevado while
Speaker 1: I what's that? What do you mean to know?
Speaker 5: You like the album Bake Sale?
Speaker 1: You're listening to this?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Can you believe anything?
Speaker 6: Lou Barlowe, I'm the guy, that guy, You're that guy
Speaker 6: I like, I love, I love SABAD.
Speaker 1: They were good though I wasn't. It wasn't all fake
Speaker 1: on my side.
Speaker 5: You can listen to it now and it's still good.
Speaker 1: It's still it's super depressing about someone's divorce.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love an.
Speaker 3: Album that's like half while they were together and half
Speaker 3: while they broke up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 3: Few good ones rumors. I feel like Okay Goes. Color
Speaker 3: of the Blue Sky is underappreciated for being one of
Speaker 3: those albums.
Speaker 5: It's like, if you're listening to the audio of a divorce, Look,
Speaker 5: my rides here, and then we look back and your
Speaker 5: legs are broken.
Speaker 1: What did you do? Care? When did you do that?
Speaker 5: I just was silent.
Speaker 1: It was somewhere during the Cake story. I just saw
Speaker 1: the movie Crawl and there's a gratuitously broken leg in it.
Speaker 2: I'm going, don't tell me anything else. I'm going tonight. Oh,
Speaker 2: it's just the preview. It's terrific.
Speaker 3: You're gonna have so much fun. Your movie is a previous.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: All I can say is you it's excellent. Summer choice.
Speaker 1: Yay, summer time.
Speaker 5: I don't know anything about it. It's scary.
Speaker 1: It haters. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The poster is my favorite because my friend just sent
Speaker 2: my friend and I Bridger Winninger. We love to go
Speaker 2: see the worst movie we can find, and so and
Speaker 2: then and we really genuinely excited and we're disappointed when
Speaker 2: it's bad.
Speaker 1: Even though we know that's the.
Speaker 5: Reason we're nights. I didn't know you did that too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do it. We do it quite a bit.
Speaker 2: And the nun was a big one when that when that,
Speaker 2: what's every Jesus weird stoners?
Speaker 5: That was a bizarre choice.
Speaker 1: And now he's driving straight into traffic and.
Speaker 5: That guy's I think that maybe.
Speaker 1: They're making a bold left. Yeah, they're just going for it.
Speaker 5: That was a very surprising I was it threw us
Speaker 5: up off subject.
Speaker 1: My heart is racing a little bit.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So the poster for this movie is just an alligator,
Speaker 2: a yellow background and alligator. It says on the top
Speaker 2: it says what's the name of the cross, and then
Speaker 2: on the bottom of it says swim Like hell, yep,
Speaker 2: oh that's great. Isn't that the best? What more do
Speaker 2: you need?
Speaker 6: Have you heard, you guys heard about these math gators?
Speaker 1: Yes you have right, Yes, sure we all have. Yaho
Speaker 1: news it is.
Speaker 5: It was the other day on Yahoo doos. It's apparently
Speaker 5: it's been a problem that math really registers with reptiles
Speaker 5: in particular.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I did some further reading. Other animals fish they don't
Speaker 6: care about math.
Speaker 1: But gators love it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they go crazy for the stuff.
Speaker 1: Are you sure the fish don't care? I don't know.
Speaker 5: For fish are more bath salt people?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but they really
Speaker 2: keep their feelings hidden.
Speaker 3: You know, when you're riding with a wild shoal, you
Speaker 3: can never tell what.
Speaker 1: Somebody's going to find. You've got to kind of keep
Speaker 1: the emotions in check.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine trying to do powder drugs under the
Speaker 3: sea so frustrating?
Speaker 1: What do you even doin to focus?
Speaker 6: It's the same thing that you're about to deal with
Speaker 6: with this show you're going to do. They're in a school,
Speaker 6: so they don't know how to act on their own.
Speaker 6: They're all acting the way they feel the other fish
Speaker 6: wanted they hack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just got to lean into the pack dynamic.
Speaker 1: It's not one you can fight left left.
Speaker 5: You're good at navigating.
Speaker 6: So I'm like, where you have a plan and you're
Speaker 6: talking at the same time.
Speaker 2: I do, because I realized once we came up on
Speaker 2: Melrose pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I was like, it's too soon. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I do live very close to the Hollywood improv, so
Speaker 3: we are forced to circle the Beverly Grove region.
Speaker 1: We're doing some circles. But also that's when the.
Speaker 2: Most interesting thing things happen, like those guys in the
Speaker 2: Money almost killing us.
Speaker 5: Yeah, correct, correct, stuff.
Speaker 1: What a terrible way to go, rushed by a Mini.
Speaker 1: It's just rude. Yeah, killed by a Mini on Beverly.
Speaker 3: I guess it's got that anch of dignity above smart car.
Speaker 1: It was you know what it was.
Speaker 2: It was that there's a Jason Bourne element to his driving.
Speaker 2: Instead of it being an emergency, he was laughing. So
Speaker 2: then you're just kind of like you're you're a menace.
Speaker 5: And he's in his early twenties, like, it's not I
Speaker 5: don't buy it.
Speaker 3: That's why I said, stoner in this neighborhood, that's exactly
Speaker 3: who's driving nice cars. This is a rich child's haven
Speaker 3: food in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I mean, hey, I am rich in every way but money.
Speaker 3: I also say that from the stage. So I'll just
Speaker 3: save the materials from out of the car. She's calling
Speaker 3: herself on it. Yes, I will sell police. I couldn't
Speaker 3: stop it from happening, but I will address that. Can
Speaker 3: I sort of address that? Yes, I put that fowl
Speaker 3: air into the car and.
Speaker 5: I'll pull it back hands And even though I dropped
Speaker 5: a big stinker with it. I really I have said
Speaker 5: helen a handbasket on stage. It wasn't just a tweet.
Speaker 3: I was bracing my guilt and shame about delivering food
Speaker 3: in Los Angeles, which I still frequently do for money.
Speaker 3: Got to because it's it's just a soul scarring experience.
Speaker 2: Because you have to go up and actually interact with
Speaker 2: the people who order.
Speaker 3: I do have to give the food to the humans
Speaker 3: in the In this gig economy, you learn your ins
Speaker 3: and outs, and there's a couple of these services wherein
Speaker 3: you do not see the tip first. And I can't
Speaker 3: do that anymore. Yeah, I can't take one hundred and
Speaker 3: eighty dollars a sushi into the Hollywood Hills for.
Speaker 1: A thank you. Yeah. Fuck that person.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I know your address. Yeah, I don't understand
Speaker 3: why you do this. Well, you don't aggress the aggrationale.
Speaker 2: I would like to ask a question, and maybe it's
Speaker 2: your own question and I shouldn't be asking it, but
Speaker 2: I got some fucking zankou chick in the other day,
Speaker 2: which when you live in Los Angeles, you know that
Speaker 2: when you're ordering that stuff.
Speaker 1: You need it. You need it and want it. It turned.
Speaker 2: It goes from like, oh, this is what I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have for dinner too. Oh my god, this is going
Speaker 2: to be the best.
Speaker 1: I'm going to die unless I ate this immediately.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I order it and the guy comes.
Speaker 2: First of all, it put it not to the Zanku
Speaker 2: closest to my house, but Zanku in Hollywood, which is
Speaker 2: very far away.
Speaker 1: I didn't get that.
Speaker 2: Yes, and then the guy shows up. It says he's
Speaker 2: at your house. I look outside, there's no one there.
Speaker 2: No one knocks on my door.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting.
Speaker 5: I'm waiting.
Speaker 1: I look out. I finally look out.
Speaker 2: The guy's parked up in front of the next house,
Speaker 2: but he's hasn't gotten out of the car. And then
Speaker 2: I look at my app and it says food's been delivered.
Speaker 1: Thank you. How much of a tip do you want
Speaker 1: to give? And I keep trying to get out of that.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So he basically said he delivered it or that I
Speaker 2: didn't answer in five minutes.
Speaker 1: But he never got out of the car. Yes, he
Speaker 1: didn't bring it to the door.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to walk out to his motherfucking car
Speaker 2: and he wasn't even parked in front of my house.
Speaker 1: Can I ask was this? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the worst and the hardest. I can
Speaker 3: tell you a few things that would have happened there.
Speaker 3: First of all, he had like three other orders in
Speaker 3: the car. Okay, that's why it went to Zanku far
Speaker 3: away from you. He was far away from you, and
Speaker 3: that Zanku was either had a bunch of orders or
Speaker 3: was in a cluster of restaurants.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So that dude bounced from like sushi to chicken to
Speaker 3: sandwiches and you were in the middle of that delivery. Oka,
Speaker 3: Either he was hungry and ate your chicken. I'm not
Speaker 3: going to roll out that pility or the map pin
Speaker 3: unbeknownst to you, or at no fault of yours really
Speaker 3: did send him to that place.
Speaker 1: Maybe he got out of the car, maybe he didn't.
Speaker 3: Maybe he tried to text you and it didn't go through,
Speaker 3: because it goes through it like hide your number system.
Speaker 3: Oh right, my bet. He can't leave without waiting that
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes. He can't get to the next stop he's
Speaker 3: supposed to go to.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: So there isn't a lot of benefit in stealing the food.
Speaker 3: The most likely circumstances that you got boned by the technology,
Speaker 3: and that guy was unwilling to try hard to deliver
Speaker 3: the food. I'm scrupulous. I like get out and I'll
Speaker 3: hunt it down and I'll actually call you. I have
Speaker 3: like enough complexes about service work that like I do
Speaker 3: it well. I do not blame anyone who just sits
Speaker 3: Nate's the chicken. I got lost in Marina del Rey's
Speaker 3: in Misstriana apartment complex. I tried to call a guy
Speaker 3: for five minutes, and I just started fucking eating.
Speaker 1: His California chicken cafe.
Speaker 3: And I did not carry You ordered all white meat
Speaker 3: with no sauces. Sucker, you don't even get your food.
Speaker 1: You're not even low carb. You got bread. Well, but
Speaker 1: my thing.
Speaker 2: Was it wasn't fifteen minutes, it was five, Yeah, And
Speaker 2: I tried to text him yeah, saying I can see
Speaker 2: your car.
Speaker 1: You're not in front of the right house.
Speaker 2: And then I watched him race away, so there was
Speaker 2: other whatever it was. I just kind of went, what
Speaker 2: a bummer that you have to drive all the way
Speaker 2: over here, and you didn't even like because you won't
Speaker 2: get out of the car right. It didn't I because
Speaker 2: then it wouldn't let me off the tip page, so
Speaker 2: I entered zero dollars and zero shus for the tips, Like,
Speaker 2: fuck you dude, you wouldn't just all you had to
Speaker 2: do is walk to my door, which is like ten feet.
Speaker 1: Yes, it wasn't like you had to go through.
Speaker 2: An apartment complex or like any kind of a bummer situation.
Speaker 1: It was very odd.
Speaker 3: I feel like I don't use it enough as a
Speaker 3: customer to know, but people sometimes do just meet me
Speaker 3: outside like they were prompted to do so by the app.
Speaker 3: That usually happens if you have a bunch of food
Speaker 3: in the car. It's just insidious, Like that guy had
Speaker 3: cold taco bell and someone else calling it that's another possibility.
Speaker 1: Oh he's got ness by someone else. It happens all
Speaker 1: the fun.
Speaker 6: I haven't eaten at soccer Well for a while, but
Speaker 6: I ordered some from the old The last dress I
Speaker 6: was at, it defaulted to that man I'm in Marina Delray.
Speaker 6: So he went all the way to Low's Feelies and
Speaker 6: my stomach and.
Speaker 1: I called him.
Speaker 6: I'm like, I'm so sorry, you're going to the wrong place.
Speaker 6: You don't I'll pay you, you don't have to come.
Speaker 6: He's like, oh, I'm coming. He was like angry about it,
Speaker 6: and it took him like an hour, and then he
Speaker 6: was just on my porch with a fistful of cold
Speaker 6: taco bell and he just shoved it in my face.
Speaker 6: And he was sweaty and angry and wearing a Freddy Krueger.
Speaker 3: And I felt to complete your deliveries to get bonuses, right,
Speaker 3: those are the only thing that worked.
Speaker 6: But he was so angry that it was traumatic. I
Speaker 6: didn't want to eat the food. He was so angry
Speaker 6: that I'm like, well, this isn't even safe to eat.
Speaker 1: Ye, he's spin on it.
Speaker 6: I went outside to say, hey, man, that was inappropriate.
Speaker 5: Anger.
Speaker 6: Also, here's a handful of cash, like seven bucks to
Speaker 6: and he was peeing on the side of my house
Speaker 6: like the I understand the ride was a long ride
Speaker 6: and he had to go to the bathroom. I pulled
Speaker 6: over to pee, but I but I still gave him
Speaker 6: that money while he peed on my geraniums.
Speaker 3: Well done, both of you were right. It's a horrible
Speaker 3: it's a horrible existence. People do wait too long, and
Speaker 3: they do get their food. Just disappeared a responsor.
Speaker 1: I mean, we can.
Speaker 2: Bleep the name. I think everyone knows though, but I've
Speaker 2: used all. I've used all and the thing I think
Speaker 2: is funny and that runs throughout are and it's always dudes.
Speaker 1: Dudes won't come to your door.
Speaker 2: And it's literally like it's honestly like that you pull
Speaker 2: There was one guy that pulled up and I I
Speaker 2: stood on my porch and with my arms crossed.
Speaker 1: It was just like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Like the idea that you think you're going to work
Speaker 2: for a delivery app and not get out of your car?
Speaker 1: Fuck you? Yeah, yeah, Wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 6: I think it'd be fun to do it and just
Speaker 6: put on roller skates and skate up to the door
Speaker 6: like it's the all tide.
Speaker 1: Getting up is the best part.
Speaker 3: Like I've done ride share and I won't because you
Speaker 3: can't ever get out of your car. You're trapped for
Speaker 3: question mark. You don't know how long. Wow, getting up
Speaker 3: is the best part. Breathe the fresh air.
Speaker 1: Yeah, walk around a little bit.
Speaker 2: I guess I did feel bad. It was there's a
Speaker 2: lot of problems. I'm responsible for what comes to my door.
Speaker 2: I'm responsible for what happens in my life.
Speaker 1: No, you're not. That is responsible.
Speaker 3: It's the worst, uh, you know, unless they are a
Speaker 3: sponsor in which case, congratulations and everybody please use it
Speaker 3: eagerly with the proper code.
Speaker 5: But Henry, he had a song about waffle houses where
Speaker 5: it's just a list of how descriptively.
Speaker 6: How gross they are, and they he got a cease
Speaker 6: and assist letter that was like handwritten and so kind
Speaker 6: that he felt really bad and changed.
Speaker 5: He just changed it to an unnamed place.
Speaker 6: But then at the end he accidentally blurts waffle house.
Speaker 1: So it's so funny.
Speaker 6: But yeah, yeah, I remember that it'd be fun to
Speaker 6: get a letter from a business please stop it and
Speaker 6: written it's like, god, I'm famous. Like that time Walter
Speaker 6: Mondale said my mom a Christmas card. I had to
Speaker 6: see it as.
Speaker 5: Really in kind of of course smudged it.
Speaker 1: I never heard the end of that was And it
Speaker 1: was real. You can't sell it on to it now.
Speaker 5: That was a genuine It was a real Mondale.
Speaker 1: Well, he also did what did your mom send a
Speaker 1: Christmas card? First? Yeah? Did she initiate the correspondence?
Speaker 6: I think he just liked some of some of the
Speaker 6: work she was doing to support him being elected.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, all right, I thought you meant when working
Speaker 2: at the page or whatever place.
Speaker 6: No, no, guest company. No, oh yeah, yeah, no, it
Speaker 6: was just I'm not sure why. I think it was like,
Speaker 6: thank you for ordering the poster. We ordered this, or
Speaker 6: I didn't order it. I as a child when.
Speaker 5: A poster arrived and it was Mondale and who was
Speaker 5: running at Ferrara.
Speaker 6: Geraldine Ferrara or Ferraro not Ferrari. But it was the
Speaker 6: like her as the Scales of Justice liberty lady with
Speaker 6: a brast out, so it was just like running mate
Speaker 6: with an exposed titty on the poster.
Speaker 1: Who made that poster?
Speaker 5: And it was naked boob? I ever saw?
Speaker 1: Did your mom draw that poster? That's the work he loved?
Speaker 5: Maybe that was it?
Speaker 1: Oh man, that was it.
Speaker 5: It was her early poster where I can't. I hope
Speaker 5: that guy tripped. I hope he tripped.
Speaker 1: Look how cute that dog.
Speaker 5: I hope he tripped over his cute dog. That dog
Speaker 5: has one missing eye.
Speaker 1: He does, you're still doing it. I'm going to go.
Speaker 3: Oh little My dog was so mad when I left.
Speaker 3: She was not interested, and she wanted to come so badly.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I took her out for a little break, you know,
Speaker 3: just to see if she had to whee before you
Speaker 3: arrived and she just went to the car and stood
Speaker 3: by it. She knew I was leaving. It's like you're
Speaker 3: taking me. We're going to the mall right, I'm going
Speaker 3: to teen tours.
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 2: You can't handle the comedy. That's gonna beat. It's gonna props.
Speaker 1: Although the dog is a good a small all right,
Speaker 1: jokes aren't working. She does tricks. Come here maker, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right.
Speaker 6: That pack mentality though, of those teens, and would just
Speaker 6: tear that part.
Speaker 1: She's an alpha. She'd lead them twelve.
Speaker 3: Pounds a dog at the front of a pack of
Speaker 3: teenagers just running down Melrose.
Speaker 6: Which is right here, speaking of taking a ride, closing thoughts,
Speaker 6: closing statements.
Speaker 5: When is our tour? Where I know it?
Speaker 2: I tell the people, want to make sure you know that,
Speaker 2: you know we know gues fifteenth.
Speaker 3: We were at a DNA's comedy lab in Santa Cruz.
Speaker 3: These are all album release parties, all hosts for friends
Speaker 3: Chris Fairbanks and Jackie Casia And what a tour. Yeah,
Speaker 3: oh my god, that's kind of going to do it
Speaker 3: in a car too, in a real car. We're driving
Speaker 3: up and then we got a little airbnb in the
Speaker 3: North Bay to stay in the whole darm time. We
Speaker 3: really cool, and then we stay in. We go to
Speaker 3: San Francisco at the Verity Club on the sixteenth me
Speaker 3: I think Italian for green in this instance, a lot
Speaker 3: of Germanic romantic romance languages on those seventy for at
Speaker 3: the Griffo in Pedaloma. You can get tickets at all
Speaker 3: those places, or at comedy at Caitlin Gilcomedy dot com.
Speaker 3: Because I lost the rights to Caitlin Gill dot com.
Speaker 3: But that comedy, oh, just to many of my lapsed payments,
Speaker 3: became a website, and I keep getting these emails from
Speaker 3: the sharks that snapped it up that are like, if
Speaker 3: you want your web domain back, it's just five thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I want you to die in a fire for same.
Speaker 5: Oh, that's like a scam.
Speaker 1: It is a scam. It is exactly a scam. But
Speaker 1: Gil Comedy was that for me.
Speaker 2: It's a dumb scam. It's like it's not like they're
Speaker 2: they're finding like recent lottery winners, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's no, they're doing it to comics.
Speaker 3: Yeah, start with my taxes first. We're backwards, you're not.
Speaker 3: You got to pick a more appropriate number. I appreciate
Speaker 3: the belief that that scam artist has in my potential.
Speaker 3: I mean, I share that belief, or it wouldn't still
Speaker 3: be delusionarly living in Los Angeles. But someday you gotta believe.
Speaker 3: Man if I had five thousand dollars to sneeze, but.
Speaker 2: Now you have to do Caitlin Gill dot ed, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I can Gil dot comedy.
Speaker 3: I guess I'll still take you there. Now it's Kaitlin
Speaker 3: Gilcomedy dot com. All the tickets are there. And then
Speaker 3: I keep going up to Eureka and Salem and Portland
Speaker 3: and Seattle and a whole bunch of other places. I'm
Speaker 3: road tripping with my dad, which is gonna be ridiculous.
Speaker 3: So Dad will be at the merch table and he
Speaker 3: won't let you walk by without fine records.
Speaker 1: To look out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and when I come back, I'm road tripping with
Speaker 5: my sister.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Back there, that's super fun. We're gonna have.
Speaker 5: Fun, family comedy, fun, drive time.
Speaker 3: My dad's such a goofy fan. And we took this trip.
Speaker 3: I had shows in Portland and they came up, my
Speaker 3: dad and my stepmom and Kathy left a little early.
Speaker 3: Dad and I drove back together. We stayed at a
Speaker 3: casino seven Feathers on the way down, and my dad's
Speaker 3: just so hooked. He's like planning roots, like, well, there's
Speaker 3: this casino and I've looked at pictures not there. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like we're on Airbnb's and casinos. He's totally hooked. So, yes,
Speaker 3: we are taking this crazy West Coast trip together.
Speaker 6: Anyone in this car or taking it? I know the answer.
Speaker 6: Taking a photo in front of that pink wall. There's
Speaker 6: just a pink wall the store that at the Paul
Speaker 6: Smith store and everyone there's a group of people waiting
Speaker 6: to take a photo in front of a wall that's
Speaker 6: simply painted pink.
Speaker 1: And it's like it's instagram famous.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like on the probably they mentioned it on
Speaker 6: one of those double decker start to our buses.
Speaker 1: Are you killing Eve fans? Yeah, I'm not murdered.
Speaker 5: Oh it's a show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's great.
Speaker 3: Someone asks Eve for a picture to put on their
Speaker 3: Instagram because she's dressed fabulously and her response is just
Speaker 3: picture perfect, like no in a life. Yeah, it's impressive.
Speaker 3: How instagrammable this particular strip is.
Speaker 1: Look at these teens. I know the audiences common. They
Speaker 1: seem like nice time time all right.
Speaker 3: Lest my final plea if August second, grab up a
Speaker 3: copy of Major. It's available everywhere Major. But for now
Speaker 3: I must step into the purgatory that is entertaining kids
Speaker 3: fourteen to seventeen.
Speaker 5: It's going to be great.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: It sucks so bad, but thank you so much for
Speaker 2: being on this. That felt like the shortest ride of
Speaker 2: all time.
Speaker 1: I had a delightful time.
Speaker 5: I think it was good.
Speaker 1: Okay good, Yeah, it felt fast perfect.
Speaker 3: I should say, as a fan of the pod, you
Speaker 3: should know that inevitably your theme song makes me tear up.
Speaker 1: Oh was it really? Every time? I'm a soft touch.
Speaker 3: I have to wear song lasses to concerts like humans
Speaker 3: collaborating to make music makes me cry. But it's rare
Speaker 3: that a recorded song I've heard many times and there's
Speaker 3: a short list really get me. But I have to
Speaker 3: listen beginning and end because it's always the end one.
Speaker 3: But so whoever else is out there listening that gets
Speaker 3: a little misty eyed when they hear this theme song,
Speaker 3: you are not alone.
Speaker 1: One of my favorites. That's the ultimate compliment.
Speaker 5: That's good.
Speaker 1: I mean the mouth worn the sweet. It's just the best.
Speaker 1: We really didn't come together, and we came together on
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 5: One of our first come togethers.
Speaker 1: That's the best. Have a great it'll be strong set.
Speaker 1: You're in charge. That's right, you're safe. Tell me what
Speaker 1: to do. No, I'm a thirty eight year old woman.
Speaker 1: I'm strong. You're a Yes, I'm gonna I can wear
Speaker 1: a talk ten shirt. It's totally fine. You're totally mind.
Speaker 5: I don't know I went on if I'm a school bally.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, thank you, have a good night, you too.
Speaker 5: And I think now is a good time to remind people.
Speaker 5: Go to Apple Podcasts, give us a.
Speaker 1: Good review, rate review, and subscribe and.
Speaker 6: Tell your friends, even if it's on the street, do
Speaker 6: have grassroots. Go just go somewhere, write it down on
Speaker 6: a piece of paper, slide it over to a stranger.
Speaker 1: Please you beg You'll tell.
Speaker 5: Your friends if that's more comfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever it takes.
Speaker 6: And oh and our merch. Yeah, a lot of people
Speaker 6: are like, where do you get the merch? You get
Speaker 6: it exactly right dot com.
Speaker 2: That's right on the exactly right website. There's a merch page.
Speaker 2: And I think it has merched from all the podcasts
Speaker 2: that are on Exactly Right, but most especially the Chris
Speaker 2: Fairbanks designed Do You Need a Ride shirt, which I
Speaker 2: love and would wear.
Speaker 5: Yeah, i'd wear too.
Speaker 6: But then every time you wear one of your own
Speaker 6: shirts you get rassed by your friends.
Speaker 5: Yeah, give your raspberries.
Speaker 1: You deserve it, because that means you're a dumb dick.
Speaker 1: It's just the first.
Speaker 5: Shirt in my drawer. I do keep it in a drawer,
Speaker 5: This dumb dick You've been listening to Do you Need
Speaker 5: a Ride?
Speaker 1: Arc?
Speaker 6: This has been an exactly Right production produced by Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 5: Mixed by Edson Choi.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Coottner.
Speaker 5: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 2: podcast That's d y n Ar podcast.
Speaker 5: For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh You're welcome.