WEBVTT - Be Best 2018 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:00.920 Hi, guys. 0:00:01.400 --> 0:00:04.720 Hello, let's talk about what's happening on January eleven. 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:07.000 Oh my god, we're giving you more gifts. 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:11.400 We're oh my gifts on gifts on Marry Christmas, Happy holidays, 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:14.880 all the holidays. So we have another live show for 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:18.079 you at Union Hall here in Brooklyn, and it's some 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:20.480 of your favorite comics, some of our favorite guests. 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:23.040 And you guys are gonna really enjoy the show. Sydney, 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:25.799 where can they get tickets? You can get tickets. Write 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:27.880 in the description about that, and then if you go 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:29.760 to the Instagram page, we got that in the link 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:32.279 as well. Also, and who are the guests worry, Oh 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:35.440 my god, Mally Austin, oh Sex State experts. Yes, who else? 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:38.720 Matt Rogers, our Hollywood expert. Yes, he's gonna be our 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:41.200 musical guests. Oh yeah, he's gonna do a couple of ballots. 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:43.920 He's gonna do a couple for y'all. So you're gonna 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:46.960 get comedy, you donna get interview, you're gonna get cabaret. Also, 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:50.239 you gonna get looks fabulous. This is gonna be the 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.600 last episode of the year. God see you in twenty nineteen. 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:55.160 Closing it out with a burn. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:58.680 Your resolution should be what to come see us life? 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:07.280 His sea was with Washington O la oh la. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:10.960 I says, it's it's the end of the year, end 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:11.400 of an era. 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:14.640 Wom wom wom wom. 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:19.319 I'm saying era because twenty eighteen feels like so much 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:20.240 time has passed. 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.399 Yeah, this was the longest was also shortest year. 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:25.679 It was the longest fastest year of my life. Yeah, 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:28.360 it was a lot, but like also, you know, we 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:30.959 did it. We got through it, you know, thank goodness. 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:35.880 I was it was so long. Yeah, it was so long. 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:39.800 But also I feel like the year just started and 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:41.600 I think back, like I was in La for a 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:42.319 month this year. 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:44.919 You sure were? That was this year. Absolutely. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:47.200 We tested for like a bunch of TV shows this year, 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:48.720 like flew. 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:52.040 Back and forth a lot. I ain't got no miles 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.480 on my ship. I should have. I should have like 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:57.000 a card or something. Oh yeah, yeah you should. The 0:01:57.040 --> 0:01:59.920 way I was flying, it's like I should you should 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.840 enrolled this. You should have rolled now. Yeah, I'm gonna 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:03.320 work on that. 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:05.880 I got like jet Blue and and something else. But 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:08.000 I think I went virgin. But I feel like maybe 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:12.359 I'll get like in America American airlines. Okay about join them. 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:14.160 I feel like it's gonna work. 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:15.320 Who else got cute planes? 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:17.280 I don't know. 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:20.840 But when somebody else is paying, I'm like whatever. 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:23.799 Yeah, But but the miles are for you. Oh yeah, 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:25.320 I definitely need those freaking miles. 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.880 Yeah, because flying back at least three thousand miles away, 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.880 so that's six thousand miles round trips. 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:33.720 Come on, man, get them points. Yeah, I need to 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:35.600 think about that. That's where I'm at. It's like, I 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:37.720 gotta think ahead, think about that. 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:40.440 Well, I feel you got some travel coming up in 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:44.840 the next year. You should definitely enrolled. It's it's free. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:47.880 You gotta think about the bigger pictreol get some perks. 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:48.600 Boo boo boo. 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:50.880 Yeah, just all of a sudden, they I want them 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.040 to send me a suitcase. That's how much I want 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:53.679 to be traveling. 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:58.000 Oh, okay, and a little a little away. Yeah, away. 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:03.520 You gotta do away, far, far, far away. Yeah. I'm 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:04.360 so happy that. 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:09.840 You know, things have come and go and comedy this 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.320 was like the craziest comedy year ever. 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:18.200 You know why, just more opportunities. I can't even count 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:21.040 how many stages I've been on this year. I've definitely 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.120 done a lot of stand up and still don't know 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.080 what my fucking five minutes are. But you know what, 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:29.600 we're doing it. We're getting through it. Yeah. 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:34.080 I mean, I feel like I caught you towards the 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.600 beginning of your stand up career, and I always feel 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.240 like whenever I watch you perform, like you're one of 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:41.120 my favorite people. 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.720 To watch perform, especially when you be messing with the audience. 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:45.440 I'm like, look at my mean ass friends. 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:51.480 Yeah, riff City is wonderful, you know, fantastic. Crowd work 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:52.360 is beautiful. 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:55.000 It's a skill, guys, for us to be up there 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:58.440 and make it look so effortless. Uh, it's a skill 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:00.800 because people will then try to talk to us and 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:03.400 it's like no, no, no, no, no, I'm a professional comedian 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:04.240 and you're just a fan. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.960 Yeah, Like, this is my job. I'm gonna make this funny. 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.320 Yeah, you're gonna try to figure out the funny and 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:10.920 I already got I already know what it is. 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:11.240 Yeah. 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.280 And then sometimes I'm like, ugh, you know what, that 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.640 didn't go the way it was supposed to, But you 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.760 know what, I still got that money and I'm gonna 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:19.440 leave with my head high. 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:23.120 Looking for my uber pool. Is that it? No, that's 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:25.520 not it. Oh no, it's two blocks down. Okay, gotta 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:26.200 go bye. 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:27.160 Ok, let's talk about it. 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.880 I ordered an uber Express, So uber Express is just 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:33.200 like they pick you up close to where you are 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:34.800 and they drop you off close to where you go. 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:39.680 It's a shuttle, it's it's a bus, right, but it's cold, we're. 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:40.600 We're out late. 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:43.480 And the other day I ordered an uber pool at 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:47.720 eleven forty five pm, right, they were like, walk. 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:49.360 Three minutes to go get this car. 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:54.240 I I'm walking across all these busy intersections and I 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:56.839 could see the car, but on the app it'll still 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:57.680 say a minute away. 0:04:58.240 --> 0:04:59.480 And then it was like leaving soon. 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:01.440 And I was like, okay, well I'm not I'm not 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.080 about to get hit by all these cars for this 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:06.520 uber pool. And the car left, and then every car 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:09.200 after it was like then that you order another Uber expressing. 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:10.960 It's telling you to go back to where It's like, 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:15.360 I'm not, I'm not doing this. Then a car came 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:17.680 and the driver said he was there, and I was like, 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:21.039 I'm here, and he was like maybe thirty feet down 0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:24.839 and I'm facing me and I'm like waving my arms. 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:27.960 He popped a yuwie and canceled the trip. 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:31.840 I'm in his head lights waving at him to come forward, 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.080 and instead of coming to meet me, he just canceled 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:36.600 the trip and made like three point turn, went. 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:39.960 The other way. Patty. So, I'm petty two sis. What's 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:43.640 your rating? I'm four point seven eight okay. 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:47.520 So I tweeted Uber and I was like this is problematic, 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.520 and they were like, send us the receipts. And I 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:53.760 was like, this person refused to pick me up, y'all 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.599 should fire him. 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:57.560 They'd be lazy. 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.360 I sometimes they like start conversations with me, trying to 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.840 tell me about their day, and I'm like, sir, I 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:06.200 am a customer and I'm trying to live my life. 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.640 I have my own issues. I'm not really trying to 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:11.360 hear about your day. I mean, no offense, but all 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:13.920 of the offense. Like this is New York City. I 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.480 know you want a vent, but this is also a 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.560 moving car, so like I'm stuck. 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.320 You'd be in the car like read the roll. I 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:23.919 had this real Christian dude that was my driver the 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:26.080 other day and he was telling me that he lived 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.279 in Westchester. He was telling me he his wife and 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:31.599 the kids had gone to this church Christmas party. 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.800 I was like, bruh, I don't men a care. I 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:37.840 don't care, and he wouldn't stop. 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:38.039 Talking to me. 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:40.880 But he was nice, and it's like, well, I'm not 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:43.160 about to be a dick. He talking about Jesus or whatever. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:47.880 How you feel about drivers in a music I'm just like, 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:48.520 turn it off. 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:50.279 Just we don't even have to listen to music. 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:53.240 I feel like most times most cars that I'm in, 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:55.279 the drivers aren't really listening to music. 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:56.840 Ah, they are. 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.719 Every car and getting into it's like it's not the 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:04.679 right it's like their own mixtape or like a song 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:09.440 of a friend, or like a cultural song, a religious song. 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.480 Cultural song. So they be playing like not chat top music. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:14.760 I don't know, and I just don't want to be rude, 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:17.720 but it's sometimes you're just like I can't listen to 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:19.240 any of that, and it's like, oh, you should have 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:21.280 your own headphones on, and it's like should I. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:22.640 Yeah, anytime I'm in it. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.280 Anytime I'm in a car, I feel like everyone with 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:26.640 me has headphones in. 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:27.360 Let me tell you. 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:31.000 If I'm paying over ten dollars, you gonna do what 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.640 I say I'm sorry if I'm paying eighteen dollars to 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.640 go anywhere and I'm like, I don't want the windows down, 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.120 I don't want the music on. I feel like you should, 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:42.480 you know, abide by Okay, so speak on it. 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:44.640 This is still happening to you. They still not rolling 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:45.400 the windows up. 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:48.840 Every car I get into, the driver is hot, and 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.360 I get it. You're you're driving all night and I'm not. 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:54.800 But I'm frigid, why is driving making you hot? Dude? 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:56.559 Like put a T shirt on and call it a 0:07:56.720 --> 0:07:59.040 layer or no, or just have a T shirt on. 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.760 Don't maybe don't have like twelve quotes on. I don't know, 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:05.720 but like it's frustrating for me to be like, oh, 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:08.240 I don't I don't want to say, oh, I feel weird. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:09.400 Like I'm a customer. 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:11.880 I should be able to be vocal about how I'm 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:15.480 feeling in this weird Toyota Camry. This is the energy 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:19.560 that you should have moving in twenty nineteen. What would 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:22.480 a straight white man do in this situation? 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:26.440 Because they're unapologetically just gonna be them and this they're 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:29.920 not considered aggressive or like that's how I enter my 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.640 emails in twenty nine like everything that The energy that 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.320 I have in twenty nineteen is what what a straight 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.400 white man do in a situation. He will say something 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.800 and he would say it exactly how he means it. 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.240 Excuse me, Can you cut this music down? 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.880 Sir? Windows down? Hey? 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.320 Yeah, Hey buddy, Hey buddy, this, We're not gonna do this. 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:50.040 Heybody, We're not gonna do it. 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.800 Hey, pal, can you turn your music down? This, I'm 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:57.079 not here for your ethnic tunes. Cut it off, hey, driver? 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.040 When he can literally just look down? 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:02.079 What the name is? Yeah, I've had one of those 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:03.600 days and this is not the time. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.240 So sorry, Actually I'm not in the mood to talk tonight, 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:07.800 so could you just drive? 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:10.840 Yeah, it's I think it's one of those things where 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:12.920 I talk to women all the time and they just 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:17.360 let shit go down because they feel weird saying something 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.160 about it, and it's just like, no, just we all 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:23.280 grown speak up, We're speak up. Can we just have 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:27.360 adult white dude energy in twenty nineteen. I just I'm 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:32.439 about to have some Trump energy, okay, grabbing shit, grabbing shit, 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:33.480 building walls. 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:34.800 What would Trump. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.160 Do in the He would be like, hey, a hobibe 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:39.800 cut the music off? Yeah, Well, my name is actually Mark. 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:42.520 You look like a hobby cut it off. Yeah, yeah, 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:44.959 trying this all the way off. I'm just gonna be real. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.040 The bigger tree is gonna be thriving. 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:51.439 Bigger tree. It's gonna be so real in twenty nineteen. 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.199 Well, there has to be like because the we're the 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:58.040 only people who will ever truly advocate for ourselves, right, Like, 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:00.280 no one if you if you're actually you don't have 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:03.160 a problem. People not gonna unless they like really look 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:04.760 at your face and see an eye twitching, They're not 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.160 gonna be like, oh, this is making them uncomfortable. 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:08.000 Oh they don't like this. 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:12.079 No, have Louis k energy like I have Harvey Weinstein 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.920 in that like he did all this crap and then 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:17.320 was emailing everybody in Hollywood, Like hey, if you guys 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:19.960 could just you know, not watch the news to see 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.360 how terrible I am, that'd be great. It's like, dude, 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.800 you was pulling your nasty ass dick out, like you 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.480 should not be emailing anybody. That's the energy I'm having 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:31.320 to pulling my imaginary dick out, throwing it on foreheads 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.600 and cheeks and shoulder bone, putting it on the table, 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:35.480 put your dick on the table, syst that's the type 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.280 of energy I'm gonna have in twenty nineteen. Just like what, like, 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.480 who are you talking to? Well, you're not talking to me, 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:44.599 what do you mean? No, absolutely not. I'm gonna be 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.040 oblivious to things that are quite obvious, and then I'm 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.800 gonna speak on things even when people didn't ask me 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:51.360 to speak on it. 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.160 That's how I'm gonna be in twenty nineteen. No, it's 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.720 gonna be like blunt force trauma for me. Next year. 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:57.120 I'ma hit you. 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.079 I'm gonna tell you why, or I'm not gonna not 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:01.960 gonna explain myself. I'm just gonna say no or yes. 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:04.800 You know what I have yelp energy. That's what I'm 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:05.640 gonna have. Yelp. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.520 Okay, so we've changed it. Now we're gonna have the 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:12.880 energy of a white woman, quite woman at a restaurant. Yes, 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.040 that's the energy you should have, white woman that lives 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:15.720 in Long Island. 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:19.520 I'm sorry, I asked for the peanuts on the side. Yeah, okay, 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:23.600 take this back. I'm gonna have a West Nayak energy. 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:27.880 Of Hampton's Real Housewives of New York energy. Yeah, like 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:33.679 I have, uh, Pinagriggio ivy like through me, just real energy, like. 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:37.080 What daytime, white wine. Yeah, I'm gonna take that hat 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.640 off your head. Energy. That's what we're gonna do. Exactly. 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:43.760 Speak to a manager right now? Yes, why this is Onyx? 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:44.600 Did you say white? 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:44.800 Now? 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:48.280 I'm gonna speak to a manager white Now? 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:52.960 What are you looking forward to for the next year? Lord? 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:57.480 A job? Just like for real? Just like a it's time, 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:01.839 A legit job that like is makes sense? 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:06.400 And what's a dream job? I don't even know. I'm 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:08.520 just like I just need to make sure check is 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:11.320 coming in, you know, just there. 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:13.120 Uh, I don't know. 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.960 I feel like I love comedy, but then I don't. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:20.920 So it's just like same, I'm working on what is 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.480 my plan? B? You know, what else can I do 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:30.120 other than this? Because I've dedicated so much time and 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:32.480 I don't have like a real life anymore. It's just 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:38.160 like shows, auditions. All my friends are comedians, and like, 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.440 you know, I want to just be talking to people 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:43.880 who are doing other stuff as well. I feel like 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:47.120 I'm very closed off and I don't know what the 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:51.520 regular folks are doing. You know, I know they liveing 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.360 in a bubble, but like Okay, I guess I'll hang 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:57.040 and just have like this meat and cheese plate and 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.920 talk about the tapestry you know you were. 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:01.600 And I'm always here for a meat and cheese play. 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.680 I do a lot of things. I will push a 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:06.240 small child in traffic for a meat. 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:11.360 And cheese plak. Yeah, I wanna. I want to venture out, 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.720 figure you know, figure out some things. 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:17.440 Travel just you know, yes, your birthday's coming up. Yeah, 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.679 just not be in New York City as well. Like 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.560 it's just like I'm so be in New York less 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.200 or not being New York for your birthday, specifically not 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.240 be in New York City for my birthday, but also 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:29.520 not be in New York City. 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:33.360 It's just like it's just so jaded. People are so 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:36.240 me me, me, me, me, me me. I want to go 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.120 to a town, and they just saying, hey, hey, how 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:40.720 you doing? You know and really fun. 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:42.120 You don't even want to talk to the uber driver 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:43.679 when he asked you want to go to a town 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:44.880 with strangers, also ask you. 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:45.200 How you do? 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:47.640 Because I know the Uber driver, I know Uber driver energy. 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:49.480 He gonna ask me about myself so he could talk 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.400 about himself. I want to go to a town where 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:56.160 they asking me because they're genuinely what do you do? 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:56.880 You know? 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.319 And and want to know about my life? And then 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.840 I asked about and it's like, oh you got a farm? 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:04.640 Oh yeah, I'm not interested in that, Like I want that. 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.360 I want to go somewhere, and they just be enthralled 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.040 in my my being. 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:11.000 That's such a good word. 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:18.240 Enthralled is like obsessed with yeah, like interested, like too much. 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:19.400 That's what I want. 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.880 I want somebody to just like they want to pick 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.280 up my book and then like read the book from 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:26.520 front to back and then tell me about the book 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.560 and then like review the book. That's what kind of 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:30.280 energy I want. I don't get that in New York City. 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:33.400 People just be like so into themselves. When people ask 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.640 you what you do here? Do you lie? Because I've 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.560 been lying, but I feel like I should have like 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:42.040 a lie ready to go, But I'm always they know 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:44.320 that I'm lying when I answer because I take way 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:46.120 too long to answer the question they like, what do 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:46.320 you do? 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.880 I'd be like I what sorry, and they're like what 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:52.440 do you do? And I'm like I work in television 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:54.040 And I'm like why would I say that? I should 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:57.760 have said I teach yoga or you know, I'm in childcare. 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:02.840 But I'm always like I am stand up, commit and 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:06.800 like I'm saying the truth, like yeah, I'm trying to lie. 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:07.800 I can't lie. 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.160 Well, I was in open pool and I knew it 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.320 was like packed. It was like four of us, and 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.760 I know one guy had said what he did and 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:16.600 I was like, he sound like he liing. So I 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.400 think we all just going to go around and lie. 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:20.440 And I said that I worked in a funeral home 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.320 and they were like, wow, I said, I'm interning. I 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:26.080 want to be a funeral director. 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:28.960 Did they have follow up questions? Because I would yes 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:30.960 they did. I feel like that's more interesting in saying 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:31.680 I do comedy. 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.400 I know, Well, I actually have a friend that's in uh, 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:39.360 like what is it Morgue school like mortician mortician school, 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.480 And so she was telling me about putting makeup on 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:46.800 the dead people, talking to the families, like the whole process. 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:50.760 I mean she's been in school for I feel like 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.520 like two years now. I'm guys, she getting her associates 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:59.520 in Yes, I don't know morticiany and so she's like 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:03.600 really in to the dead and different. 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:06.040 Is weird? Sister? You had a stranger danger friend. No, no, no. 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:07.760 But she's the type that you look at her and 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.360 you're like you are into dead people, Like she's one 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.080 of those makeup toratorial bitches. It's just like like of 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.400 my Like she's a little ditzy, Like I don't think 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:17.800 I want you around my dead people. 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.000 No, no, no, no, I don't know. I feel like she's 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.960 the type to talk to them while she's like, oh 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:23.480 she is. She is. 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:24.480 She's listening to music. 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.880 She's listening to like Lovely Day and she's singing to them, 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.560 or she's doing their makeup and she's like thank. 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:36.520 You next, like full on conversation like so girl, oh 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:39.760 my god, he hit you. Yeah, we don't cover that 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:41.880 all right, You don't know that bruise right on up? 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:43.720 Yeah, Sally. Yeah. 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.240 And she's she's the type that like if something like 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.840 the family brought in an outfit, like she would like 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:51.320 try to change the styling. 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:52.920 Like she's gonna tie the shirt under the boot. 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.360 Yeah yeah, or she's gonna try to like tell them like, 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.840 oh well, I really feel like this person would be 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.360 better in this. She would have her own fashion line, 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:03.200 like you got a clothing rack? Yeah, Like she'll try 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.200 to bring in her own ship, like, well, I just 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:08.440 happen to have this cat suit. Ye I really feel like, yeah, 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:12.359 Diana would thrive in this. Cats thrive in this. I mean, 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:14.080 you got to be a lot of bit weird to 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:18.640 want to work with dead bodies. It's crazy because she's 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.320 like a nightclub person, like she was like a go 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:24.680 go dancer and just she has she's pregnant. 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:26.440 Now she got she feels. 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:29.560 Like corpses are not good for the baby. In my mind, 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:31.679 you know, dead bodies can't be good for the fetus. 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:32.960 What do you think is that true? 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.000 In my mind, I feel like it's you know, it's 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.560 gonna get I don't know, maggots or something. 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.679 No, it's just like it's just dead person energy. 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.840 I don't want my baby around dead bodies because you 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:45.639 and this is the thing. While she's doing the makeup, 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:48.639 the belly is touching that that arm, that dead arm, 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.399 So the baby is the you know, it's weird. 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:56.000 Yeah, it is also interesting. It's just like you meet 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.080 somebody and you think you know them, and then all 0:17:58.119 --> 0:17:59.560 of a sudden they're like, I want to be a 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:01.840 Martisian and it's like, what what are we learning in 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.800