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Speaker 1: Welcome to How to Money. I'm Joel and I'm Matt,

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Speaker 1: and today we're discussing having essential money conversations with your

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Speaker 1: parents with Cameron Huddleston. That's right, Joel. Cameron Huddleston's is

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Speaker 1: an award winning journalist with more than seventeen years of

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Speaker 1: experience writing about personal finance. Her work has appeared in

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Speaker 1: Kiplinger's Personal Finance, Business Insider, Chicago Tribune, plus many more,

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Speaker 1: and she's been all over TV two. She's appeared on MSNBC, Fox,

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Speaker 1: and CNN. Cameron has recently published her book, Mom and Dad,

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Speaker 1: We Need to Talk, which is all about having essential

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Speaker 1: conversations with your parents about their finances. And be sure

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Speaker 1: to stick around until the end of this episode so

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Speaker 1: that you can find out how you can enter to

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Speaker 1: win a copy of the book as well. So, Cameron,

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Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining us on this episode. Thanks

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Speaker 1: so much for having me. Alright, so Cameron. Every week

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Speaker 1: on the show, Matt and I we have a beer.

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Speaker 1: Today on the show, we're drinking a beer called Fairy

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Speaker 1: Nectar by Cross Train Brewing Company. And big thanks to

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Speaker 1: our listener Joey and Omaha for sending in our way.

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Speaker 1: So we intentionally drink a beer on every episode because

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Speaker 1: we think that even while saving for the future and

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Speaker 1: thinking ahead about your money, we should also splurge in

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Speaker 1: the here and now and live life to the fullest.

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Speaker 1: So what's your splurge? What's your beer equivalent? I have

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Speaker 1: a couple of beer equivalents. One is certainly travel, and

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Speaker 1: I know people don't always think of that as a splurge.

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Speaker 1: They think of it as a you know, a great

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Speaker 1: part of life, getting out there and seeing and do things.

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Speaker 1: And we have a goal of getting our kids to

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Speaker 1: all fifty states, So travel is one thing that we're

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Speaker 1: definitely willing to spend money on. And then my two

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Speaker 1: guilty pleasures that I think some people might see as

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Speaker 1: a splurge. One is home to core Like I I

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Speaker 1: I am, like such a huge fan of interior design

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Speaker 1: magazines and blogs, and I want my house to look nice.

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Speaker 1: So I will splurge on things that make my house

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Speaker 1: look nice. Now, because I'm a personal finance journalist, I

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Speaker 1: am strategic about my purchases. I wait for sales, I

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Speaker 1: look for a good deal, so I'm not out there

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Speaker 1: buying the most expensive sofa you can find. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I'm haggling with the store owner to get a good

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Speaker 1: deal on the sofa, which I've which I've done with

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Speaker 1: about every piece of furniture and rug and everything that

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Speaker 1: I have at my house. And so that's one thing

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Speaker 1: I spurge on. And then jewelry too, but I don't again,

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Speaker 1: I don't buy really expensive diamond rings or diamond ear rings.

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Speaker 1: You know. All my nice stuff is stuff that I've

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Speaker 1: inherited that I could never afford on my own. It's

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Speaker 1: just you know, inexpensive costume jewelry that I like, and

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Speaker 1: these these are the things that I these are my

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Speaker 1: guilty pleasures. Well, it's always nice to kind of get

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Speaker 1: a window into what people value. And I feel like

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Speaker 1: this question kind of kicks off things in a really

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Speaker 1: interesting way. And I love that you already brought up

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Speaker 1: your ambitious travel goals. You tell us kind of what

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Speaker 1: your goals are traveling with your family, and then like,

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Speaker 1: how are you saving money on those travels. I would

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Speaker 1: say that my I have three kids and my oldest

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Speaker 1: to have been to more than half of the states already.

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Speaker 1: My youngest has some catching up to do, however, and

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Speaker 1: we got off track a little bit last year because

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Speaker 1: we didn't use our summer vacation time to visit more states.

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Speaker 1: We ended up going overseas, but that's because my husband

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Speaker 1: is a foreigner, so he went overseas to see his

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Speaker 1: family and tucked in a trip to Paris and Dublin,

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Speaker 1: Ireland on the way there and on the way back

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Speaker 1: to Ukraine. You know, I hate to say this, but

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Speaker 1: it was a little bit rough because we flew into

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Speaker 1: Paris and had what two or three days there, and

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Speaker 1: we got there in the morning, and my husband was

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Speaker 1: so deter and to get our money's worth that we

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Speaker 1: I mean, we had to hit the ground running and

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Speaker 1: like start seeing from the moment we got there. I

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Speaker 1: end up falling asleep on a boat to ur through

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Speaker 1: Paris because I was so exhausted. My kids are like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh. I know. My kids are like, mom, Mom,

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Speaker 1: you're asleep, your mouth hanging open. Oh my god, don't care.

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Speaker 1: I'm so tired, you know. But we because we do travel,

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Speaker 1: we're always looking for ways to save money on it.

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Speaker 1: Like if we aren't using rewards points from credit cards

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Speaker 1: to pay for hotels or pay for flights, we're we

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Speaker 1: are searching and searching and searching for the best deal

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Speaker 1: on flights on accommodations. We plan out our itineraries thoroughly

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Speaker 1: to find dining options that fit within our budget, looking

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Speaker 1: for free and low cost things to do. We spend

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Speaker 1: a lot of time when we're planning our travels, so

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Speaker 1: we're certainly not fly by the seat of our pants

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Speaker 1: type of people. We put a lot of planning into

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Speaker 1: it just so we can make it fit within our budget.

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Speaker 1: Nice as far as seeing the country, see in the US,

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Speaker 1: are y'all flying to different cities and kind of going

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Speaker 1: on little Little John's there, or are you actually road

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Speaker 1: tripping and taking like the r V kind of doing

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Speaker 1: that whole thing, because that's something I've been actually thinking

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Speaker 1: about doing in the near future with my family. We

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Speaker 1: have flown to destinations and we have driven. We have

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Speaker 1: not done the r V. My husband wants to so badly,

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Speaker 1: like he really wants to rit one. He's talked about

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Speaker 1: buying one, and I'm like, no, we're not buying an

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Speaker 1: r V. Think about how many trips we could take

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Speaker 1: for the amount we'd have to spend for an RV.

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Speaker 1: He's still hanging onto that idea. I am. I am

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Speaker 1: not on board with it, even though I do like

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Speaker 1: a good road trip. I'm not super excited about the

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Speaker 1: cost of an RV, even if it comes to rinning one,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like if we take our car, stay

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Speaker 1: in hotels versus the cost of the r V, the

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Speaker 1: rental costs, the gas, I don't feel like we would

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Speaker 1: actually come out ahead. Yeah, that that can be true

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Speaker 1: totally depending on on how much you usual the r V.

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Speaker 1: You know, whether how old the RV is that you're buying,

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Speaker 1: if you're buying one, and stuff like that. So I

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Speaker 1: love hearing about your travels, but I want to kind

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Speaker 1: of start talking about the book here in just a second.

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Speaker 1: Before that, can you kind of tell us about how

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Speaker 1: you started writing about money for a living, kind of

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Speaker 1: what what drew you into that. I became a journalist

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Speaker 1: right out of college. I was a journalist major, but

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Speaker 1: I was just a general assignment reporter at a daily

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Speaker 1: newspaper and had no experience writing about money or business.

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Speaker 1: I didn't take a single course on business or money,

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Speaker 1: so I just happened to fall into it. I had

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Speaker 1: been a reporter for several years, and in my late

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Speaker 1: twenties I landed a job with Dow Jones Newswires. As

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Speaker 1: a business reporter and thought, I want to stick with

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Speaker 1: this line of reporting for a variety of reasons. But

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Speaker 1: because I had not taken any business related courses during

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Speaker 1: my undergrad years, I decided to get a master's at

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Speaker 1: American University. They had a program where you could pick

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Speaker 1: a specialty, and I chose economic journalism. Took economics courses

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Speaker 1: business courses, and it helped that I had a free tutor,

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Speaker 1: my husband, who was getting his doctorate in economics at

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Speaker 1: the time, and yeah, it was super ay, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, if I get stuck up as

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Speaker 1: someone who can help me out. That program lasted for

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Speaker 1: a year, and when I graduated, I graduated into the

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Speaker 1: beginning of a recession. It was two thousand one. The

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Speaker 1: economy was starting to slow and dal Jones had a

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Speaker 1: hiring freeze, so I couldn't get my job back there.

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Speaker 1: Other places had hiring freezes where I wanted to work,

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Speaker 1: but Kiplinger's Personal Finance was hiring an editor for its website,

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Speaker 1: which was pretty new at the time. I mean this

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Speaker 1: was two thousand one and really web journalism, online journal

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Speaker 1: and wisum was a very new thing. I had always

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Speaker 1: written for print and really didn't know much about writing

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Speaker 1: for the web and didn't know anything about personal finance,

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Speaker 1: but they took a chance on me and I stayed

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Speaker 1: with it. I I really enjoyed it. I still enjoy it,

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Speaker 1: and I realized how much I have benefited from the job.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really know much about personal finance before I

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Speaker 1: got started writing about it, and learned so much that

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Speaker 1: has helped me in my everyday life, things I probably

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Speaker 1: would not have learned if I hadn't gotten that job.

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Speaker 1: What better way to learn than just to get thrown

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Speaker 1: right right and then force yourself into it. Yeah, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: I like it. I want to I want to hear

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Speaker 1: more about your book. So it's called mom and Dad.

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Speaker 1: We need to talk and just in a nutshell, can

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Speaker 1: you describe for our listeners just what your book is

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Speaker 1: all about. My book is encouragement for people adult children

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Speaker 1: to have conversations with their parents about their finances. I

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Speaker 1: go through the reasons why you need to have these

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Speaker 1: conversation sations, how to get over your fears of having

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Speaker 1: these conversations, some tips on starting the conversation, how to

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Speaker 1: get through too reluctant parents, What sort of information you

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Speaker 1: need to gather and what to do if your parents

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Speaker 1: refused to talk to you. Yeah, Cameron, I'm actually in

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Speaker 1: this book. I make a little appearance, which is crazy cool.

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Speaker 1: So thank you for having me in the book. And

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Speaker 1: I kind of told my story about talking with my

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Speaker 1: parents about money and what that was like for me.

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Speaker 1: So so tell me about the folks that told their

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Speaker 1: story in this book, like what what were some of

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Speaker 1: the most interesting things that you heard from the people

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Speaker 1: that you invited to participate. I feel so fortunate that

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Speaker 1: people who are willing to share their stories with me,

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Speaker 1: because I got lots of great stories. They ranged from

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Speaker 1: people like you, Joel, who had parents who were very

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Speaker 1: reluctant to talk about their finances, to some people who

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Speaker 1: had the conversation and we're surprised by how easy it was.

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Speaker 1: You know, they had a lot of fears about having

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Speaker 1: bringing it up, and when he actually did, their parents

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Speaker 1: were really willing to talk to them. And I found

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Speaker 1: there were more people in that situation, fortunately, than people

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Speaker 1: in situations like yours where the parents were reluctant to talk,

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Speaker 1: which I think hopefully the readers of the book are

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Speaker 1: going to come away realizing that these conversations aren't as

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Speaker 1: scary as they think they might be. And even sometimes

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Speaker 1: when parents pushed back, if you are patient and you

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Speaker 1: continue trying, you can get through to them. Probably that

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Speaker 1: my favorite story is this kind of worst case scenario

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Speaker 1: story what happens when you don't have the conversation. I

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Speaker 1: really don't want people to skip this chapter. I interviewed

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Speaker 1: a man named Doug Nordman, who is a super financially

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Speaker 1: savvy guy. He's a personal finance blogger and he's written

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Speaker 1: a book about money. It's geared towards military members. He

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Speaker 1: had not talked to his father before he developed Alzheimer's,

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Speaker 1: and his father ended up in the hospital for an

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Speaker 1: emergency surgery and then ended up in a nursing home

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Speaker 1: for rehabilitation for a while. Doug, who lives in Hawaii,

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Speaker 1: had to go to Colorado when his dad was getting

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Speaker 1: the surgery and ended up in the nursing home and

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Speaker 1: wanted to make sure his dad's bills got paid, but

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Speaker 1: he couldn't. He couldn't get access to his dad's bank

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Speaker 1: account because his dad had not named him power of attorney,

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Speaker 1: and so Doug ended up spending nine months and ten

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars going through the court process to get legal

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Speaker 1: access to his dad's financial accounts, and then he also

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Speaker 1: had to spend all this other money out of pocket

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Speaker 1: covering his dad's bills until he did get access to

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Speaker 1: his back his dad's bank account, you know, And I

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Speaker 1: it's so important for people to realize that your parents

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Speaker 1: need certain legal documents before you can step in and

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Speaker 1: start making financial decisions for them or health care decisions

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Speaker 1: for them. If an emergency or wises, you can't just

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Speaker 1: go to the bank and say, you know, hey, my

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Speaker 1: dad just had a stroke or my dad has Alzheimer's

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Speaker 1: and he's in the hospital. I need to sign his

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Speaker 1: chext for them to pay his bill, because the bank

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Speaker 1: is going to say, no, way, not unless your par

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Speaker 1: of attorney. That story, in particular highlights some of the

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Speaker 1: things that can go really wrong if you don't have

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Speaker 1: these conversations soon enough with your parents. Yeah, definitely highlights

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Speaker 1: that necessity. Yeah, I mean, and I'm sure some of

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Speaker 1: those worst case scenario stories like that, I mean, they're

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Speaker 1: just eye opening, all right, Cameron. So, I mean, why

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Speaker 1: is it, though, that you wanted to actually write the book.

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Speaker 1: Was there a sort of moment in your life and

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Speaker 1: you realize that this just need needed to be out

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Speaker 1: there or what was it for you that that kind

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Speaker 1: of lit the fire under you. It was my mom's situation.

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Speaker 1: My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when she was sixty five,

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Speaker 1: and I was only thirty five, and I had to

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Speaker 1: step in and get involved with her finances. And I

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Speaker 1: had not had detailed conversations with her before she started

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Speaker 1: having memory problems. I did talk her into going to

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Speaker 1: meet with an attorney to update all of her legal documents,

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Speaker 1: and this was this was right around the time of

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Speaker 1: the Alzheimer's diagnosis. Her dementia had not progressed too far.

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Speaker 1: She was still competent enough to sign those documents. But

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Speaker 1: because I had not talked to her and had to

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Speaker 1: start getting involved, you know, trying to figure out someone's

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Speaker 1: finances when they don't have a clear picture of them

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Speaker 1: themselves because they're having memory problems was incredibly difficult for me.

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Speaker 1: And I was at a point in my life where

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Speaker 1: I didn't have any friends who were going through a

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Speaker 1: similar situation. I mean, I was thirty five years old. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you were young. Your your mom was young to receive

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Speaker 1: that diagnosis. And then on top of just all the

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Speaker 1: emotions that you're feeling in the difficulty of processing this

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Speaker 1: change in your relationship with your mom. You're having to

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Speaker 1: sort off the financial piece too, right, And I didn't

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Speaker 1: have anyone to ask for advice, Like I had to

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Speaker 1: figure this all out on my own, even though you know,

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Speaker 1: there were some things I certainly knew that I needed

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Speaker 1: to do as a financial journalist. But several years down

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Speaker 1: the road, when my friends started coming to me and

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Speaker 1: asking me for advice on how to talk to their parents,

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Speaker 1: and they started having you know, some of their parents

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Speaker 1: are having issues with their own health or memory, I

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Speaker 1: realized that by sharing my story, my experience, my mistakes

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Speaker 1: in a book, I could help other people do what

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Speaker 1: I had to figure out on my own, And so

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Speaker 1: that's what prompted me to write the book. Well, I

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Speaker 1: think hearing that story about you being thirty five and

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Speaker 1: your mom being sixt like that's so young and that's

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Speaker 1: so hard, but it makes me realize like, I'm a

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Speaker 1: thirty five year old sitting right here, and so these

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Speaker 1: things can happen at any time. And the longer we

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Speaker 1: prolong these conversations with our parents about money, just the

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Speaker 1: more likely that we might have to wait through something

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Speaker 1: even more difficult with our parents. So I want to

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Speaker 1: ask you camera, what do you think is keeping most

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Speaker 1: of us from having those hard conversations with our folks,

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Speaker 1: and how do we move past the fears that we

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Speaker 1: have like to get the conversation started. There are a

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Speaker 1: variety of reasons why people don't have these conversations with

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Speaker 1: their parents. For a lot of people, they just don't

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Speaker 1: realize that they need to be having the conversation. And

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Speaker 1: that was my situation. It wasn't that I was afraid

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Speaker 1: to talk to my mom about money. I just didn't

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Speaker 1: realize how important it was to have the conversation. Even

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Speaker 1: though I was and still I am, a financial journalist.

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Speaker 1: It just didn't dawn on me that this was something

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Speaker 1: I needed to talk to her about. So, first of all,

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Speaker 1: you might not realize it's important, and I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: right now that it is. Of course, you might be

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Speaker 1: afraid because you were brought up to believe that you

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Speaker 1: don't talk about money. My father told me, you don't

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Speaker 1: talk about money, it's impolite. And my father was always

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Speaker 1: very reluctant to talk about money, and he died at

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Speaker 1: the sixty one. I was twenty eight and he died

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Speaker 1: without a will, and he was an attorney, so he

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Speaker 1: should have known better, you know. And if I could

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Speaker 1: go back, you know, I would have used the opportunity

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Speaker 1: to when I got married to say Dad, I just

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Speaker 1: got married, do I need a will now? And maybe

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Speaker 1: that would have spurred him to write his own will.

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Speaker 1: You know, so, your your parents might have told you

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Speaker 1: you don't talk about money, and so you're afraid to

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Speaker 1: bring it up with them. You you might be afraid

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Speaker 1: that your parents are thinking you're being nosy or greedy

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Speaker 1: if I if I talked to them about their finances,

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Speaker 1: They're going to think I'm asking because I want to

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Speaker 1: know what I'm going to get when they die. And

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Speaker 1: I want to make it very clear that these conversations

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Speaker 1: need to be about your parents best interest. It's not

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Speaker 1: about you. It's not about what you hope to get.

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Speaker 1: In fact, you shouldn't even go into these conversations thinking

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Speaker 1: that you're going to get anything when your parents die.

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Speaker 1: If they happen to leave you money or property, then hey,

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Speaker 1: that's just icing on the cake. You know, you need

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Speaker 1: to prepare your own finances. You want to talk to

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Speaker 1: them so that you can first of all, figure out

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Speaker 1: where they stand financially, because it could impact your finances

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Speaker 1: if they are going to have to rely on you

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Speaker 1: for support because they haven't saved enough for retirement, or

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Speaker 1: because they're gonna need you to provide long term care

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Speaker 1: for them because they don't have a way to pay

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Speaker 1: for it. This is something you need to know sooner

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Speaker 1: rather than later, so you can prepare your own finances.

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Speaker 1: You want to know whether they have essential legal documents,

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Speaker 1: so will, power of attorney, living will, because if they

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Speaker 1: don't and they are no longer mentally competent enough to

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Speaker 1: sign those documents, it's too late and you could have

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Speaker 1: to go through court to get the legal right to

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Speaker 1: access their finances. And of course, as someone dies without

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Speaker 1: a will, you and your siblings could end up in

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Speaker 1: court battling it out over who gets what. Letting them

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Speaker 1: know that you want to talk to them about their

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Speaker 1: finances because you want to be prepared in case of

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Speaker 1: an emergency. You want to have a plan all of

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Speaker 1: you in case they need long term care, Framing it

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Speaker 1: in the right way, and letting them know Mom and dad,

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Speaker 1: this is about you. This is about making sure that

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Speaker 1: I know what your wishes are that I make sure

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Speaker 1: that I can grant those wishes that I know what

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Speaker 1: sort of care you want to make sure that you

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Speaker 1: can age comfortably. I want to have these conversations because

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Speaker 1: you took such good care of me, and if you

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Speaker 1: ever need me to help you, I want to be

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Speaker 1: able to do that. M Yeah, I mean, obviously there's

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Speaker 1: so much that goes into it as far as the reasoning,

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Speaker 1: like the reason why behind that we're having these conversations

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Speaker 1: is so important to make sure that we're framing it correctly,

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Speaker 1: just like you said, that we have the right tone

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Speaker 1: and that we're presenting it in just a healthy and

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Speaker 1: proper way. And so, Cameron, you just shared a bunch

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Speaker 1: of reasons why we need to be talking about this.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break, but after that we're

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Speaker 1: going to dive into just some of the specific topics

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Speaker 1: that we should be talking about as well as just

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Speaker 1: how to go about having those conversations. All right, we're

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Speaker 1: back and we're talking with Cameron Huddleston and the topic

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Speaker 1: that we're covering today is having these essential money conversations

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Speaker 1: with your parents. So Cameron, naturally, a lot of our

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Speaker 1: minds probably go to what if our parents don't have

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Speaker 1: enough in retirement to last them. That is a question.

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Speaker 1: I think that's probably on the front of our minds.

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Speaker 1: But what are some additional topics that might be easy

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Speaker 1: to overlook that we should be discussing with our parents.

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Speaker 1: A big one is long term care, because studies have

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Speaker 1: found that by the time if you have already reached

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Speaker 1: the age sixty, there's a very good chance that you're

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Speaker 1: going to end up needing long term care at some

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Speaker 1: point in the rest of your life. It's it's as

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Speaker 1: much as like half of adults who reach age sixty five,

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Speaker 1: half or more are going to need long term care.

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Speaker 1: And what that is for anyone who's not familiar with

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Speaker 1: the term long term care is the care that you

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Speaker 1: would get. It can either be in your home and

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Speaker 1: assist a living facility, a nursing facility, care for someone

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Speaker 1: because you can no longer physically or mentally take care

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Speaker 1: of yourself, and it typically involves all activities of daily living.

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Speaker 1: It includes eating, bathing, dressing, everything, really, and so many

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Speaker 1: adults don't have any sort of plan for long term care.

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Speaker 1: They don't have long term care insurance to pay for it.

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Speaker 1: And people need to know Medicare does not pay for

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Speaker 1: long term care, not the type of care that you

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Speaker 1: would get an assisted living facility and a nursing home

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Speaker 1: if it's actually long term care, but not just you know,

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Speaker 1: rehabilitation after a stroke, even the care that you would

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Speaker 1: get in home. Medicare does not pay for that. Long

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Speaker 1: term care. Insurance will obviously if you have savings, it

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Speaker 1: will pay for that. There are a couple other different strategies.

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Speaker 1: You can use. An annuity, for example, a reverse mortgage

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Speaker 1: can help pay for it. Medicaid will pay for long

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Speaker 1: term care, but you have to have very few assets

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Speaker 1: and very low income. So it's really important to discuss

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Speaker 1: with your parents. Hey, mom and dad, you know, I

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Speaker 1: was just reading this article about the real high cost

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Speaker 1: of long term care. Did you know that an assist

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Speaker 1: a living facility or a home health aid can cost

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Speaker 1: four thousand dollars a month? And that's right now? You know,

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Speaker 1: that's in you know, twenty nineteen dollars. You know, mom

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Speaker 1: and dad, you're only in your sixties now. By the

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Speaker 1: time you're in your seventies or eighties, that cost could

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Speaker 1: be a lot higher. I just want to know if

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Speaker 1: you have any sort of plan for this. Have you

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Speaker 1: thought about how you would pay for it? If you

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Speaker 1: need this care? Have you thought about where you would

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Speaker 1: want to receive care? And of course they're gonna likely

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Speaker 1: wanted in their homes, because that's where most people want

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Speaker 1: to receive care. Sometimes it's not possible. And if they say, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, if something happens to me and I have dementia,

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Speaker 1: or if I have a stroke and I'm I'm in

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Speaker 1: a wheelchair and I can't get around on my own,

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Speaker 1: I need help, of course i'd like it in my home. Well,

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Speaker 1: then the conversation turned to is the house that you're

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Speaker 1: living in now set up to allow you to continue

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Speaker 1: living there if something were to happen to you. You

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Speaker 1: have stairs, you have a two story house. How are

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Speaker 1: you going to get to your bedroom if you're in

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Speaker 1: a wheelchair? How are you going to get in and

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Speaker 1: out of the bathtub to bathe if you cannot move

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Speaker 1: well on your own. So the long term care conversation

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Speaker 1: is very important. The housing conversation, do you want to

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Speaker 1: stay in your house? Can you stay in your house?

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Speaker 1: You know, maybe it would be a good idea for

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Speaker 1: you to down size now. Then it all free up

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Speaker 1: extra money for retirement and you can do fun things

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Speaker 1: like travel. You don't have to put a negative spin

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Speaker 1: on it. Certainly, the long term care, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: hard to get around the fact that it's it is

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Speaker 1: indeed a depressing topic no one. No one wants to

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Speaker 1: think about the fact that they might have to rely

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Speaker 1: on someone else for support. But the housing conversation doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily have to be as difficult talking to your parents

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Speaker 1: about the benefits as opposed to, oh my gosh, mom

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Speaker 1: and dad, you really need to move out at this

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Speaker 1: giant house because I know you can't afford the upkeep,

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Speaker 1: and I know I don't want you call on me

433
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: every day to mow your grass. And you know you

434
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 1: don't want to make it negative. You want to focus

435
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 1: on the positive aspects. Yeah, and and so you you

436
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 1: mentioned like the potential of doing something like reverse mortgage

437
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: to fund long term care that's needed. You know, reverse

438
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: mortgages of course fraught with fees and petial pitfalls as well.

439
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 1: But on the other side, long term care insurance is

440
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,679
Speaker 1: so expensive and the costs have risen so much in

441
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 1: the last few years, so that's been a pitfall for

442
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: folks too. What kind of costs are we talking about

443
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: if mom and dad don't have a long term care

444
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: insurance policy, and is that something that they should be considering,

445
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: even as the costs have risen so greatly, It's certainly

446
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: something you should encourage your parents to look into. If

447
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: your parents are still in their fifties, they are going

448
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: to get a much better rate on long term care

449
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: insurance then if they wait until their sixties, and certainly

450
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 1: if they wait until their seventies, there's a good chance

451
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 1: they can't even get it. They won't even qualify. They

452
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: might have too many other health issues. If you are

453
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: in good health, if you are in your fifties, it's

454
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: going to cost you, and it is expensive, but it

455
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 1: can cost you around two to three hundred dollars a month,

456
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: and this could be for a couple with a shared benefit.

457
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 1: My husband and I actually went through the process recently

458
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: of getting some quotes for a long term care insurance

459
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: and we decided we're going to wait a few more

460
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: years before we sign up because it is expensive. There

461
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: are a variety of ways to keep the cost down.

462
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: But you can encourage your parents to look into it

463
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: and see if they could afford it, and they might say, oh,

464
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: my gosh, three ds a month. There's no way, but

465
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 1: it's worth pointing out, if you can't afford three hundred

466
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 1: dollars a month for long term care insurance, how are

467
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: you going to be able to afford four thousand dollars

468
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 1: a month five thousand dollars a month for the actual

469
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: long term care If if they're great with their retirement savings,

470
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 1: or they have a pension, and they have a guaranteed

471
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: source of income, and they've done a great job of

472
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: planning for their retirement, then there might be the funds

473
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 1: there to pay for it out of pocket if they

474
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: own their house out right, and perhaps and this would

475
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: certainly be harder if there are two parents, because you

476
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 1: don't want to sell the house only one parent without

477
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 1: a place to live. But this is something I did

478
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: with my mother because she and my father were divorced

479
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: and she was living on her own, and she did

480
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 1: not have long term care insurance, so I basically had

481
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: to have a very strategic plan for paying for her

482
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 1: long term care. And one of the first things I

483
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: did is when it became obvious she could no longer

484
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: live in her house, she moved in with me for

485
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: a while. We sold the house, and that was a

486
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: source of money for the long term care. There are

487
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 1: some ways to pay for it. There are some ways

488
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: to keep the cost down, like moving your parents in

489
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: with you, taking advantage of programs such as like adult

490
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: daycare services that will keep Basically, it's what the name suggests.

491
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a it's daycare for adults, but it's

492
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: only during the day. And if you've got a parent

493
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: who has serious dementia or serious issues with mobility, they're

494
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 1: going to need more extensive, round the clock care and

495
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: that certainly can get a lot more expensive. And unfortunately,

496
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: most people's long term care plan is a family member.

497
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: It's a spouse, it's a child, some other relative who

498
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 1: has to provide that care, and that providing that care

499
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: can be a full time job. So, Cameron, you mentioned

500
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: like your parents were divorced and that your mom, you know,

501
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 1: you had to kind of look after her, Like, how

502
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,719
Speaker 1: does that actually change the conversation when your parents are

503
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,479
Speaker 1: separated like that? Do you cover different topics because of

504
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: that or is the timing difference how does that come

505
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: into play? I don't think the timing is different at all.

506
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: In fact, if your parents do get divorced and you

507
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 1: haven't had this conversation already. It's an opportune moment to

508
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: have the conversation, you know, reaching out to mom or

509
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: dad and saying, you know, I know this divorce has

510
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 1: been very difficult for you, but I really would love

511
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 1: to sit down when you have a moment to talk

512
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 1: about what things are going to be like going forward,

513
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: what sort of plans you have now that you are alone,

514
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: and how I might have to play a role as

515
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 1: you age because there's no longer dad there or there's

516
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: no longer mom. You know, your spouse to help you out.

517
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,439
Speaker 1: I want to know if you ever need me to

518
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: help you, what I need to know about your finances

519
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: so that I can help you. It's life events are

520
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: a great opportunity to start these conversations, and certainly it

521
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 1: is so imperative to have these conversations if your parents

522
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: do get divorced, because there's a greater chance that the

523
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 1: parent will rely on the child for help as a

524
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 1: age because they no longer have the support I'm a spouse. Yeah,

525
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: I was gonna say there's almost more pressure on kids

526
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 1: with divorced parents because you're dealing with with each parent individually,

527
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 1: and I could see them relying on you a lot

528
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: more because they don't have right there, their their better

529
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: half to to relate to when it comes to saving

530
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: for their future, thinking about long term care, thinking about

531
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: the retirement. So I gotta imagine that those conversations become

532
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 1: a little more difficult. I wanted to ask you to camera,

533
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: what about involving siblings in the conversation. Let's say you

534
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: have multiple siblings or at least just one other siblings,

535
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 1: how do you involve your siblings in these conversations with

536
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: your parents about money? And then, like, also, how do

537
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: you prevent arguments amongst each other during the process, because man,

538
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: we've all heard stories about siblings just getting caught up

539
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: in in minutia and then arguing just intensely during that process.

540
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: I think it's really important if you have siblings to

541
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: talk to them before you even have the these financial

542
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: conversations with your parents. And I say this for several reasons.

543
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: First of all, if you go to your parents and

544
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: have the conversation with them about their finances and don't

545
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: even tell your siblings that you're going to be doing it,

546
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: and then they get when that you've had the conversation.

547
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: They might be angry, they might be resentful. You know,

548
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: why why did you do this without telling me? I

549
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: are you trying to, like, you know, work your way

550
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 1: in on mom and Dad's good side so you get

551
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: all the money when they die. I mean, who knows

552
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: you're trying to be here? I get it, I get it.

553
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: You're the oldest you wanna you know, you want to

554
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: step in and take charge and make sure you get everything.

555
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: It could create resentment, It could create anger, and it

556
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 1: could cause a split among the siblings. Aside from avoiding

557
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: any sort of resentment, you want to get on the

558
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: same page with your siblings. You want to discuss together

559
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: the best time to have the conversation with mom and dad,

560
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: the best way to approach it, whether you want to

561
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: do it together, And maybe you're not the right person

562
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: to be having the a station. Maybe mom and dad

563
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: get along a little better with your older brother or

564
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: sister or your younger brother or sister, and maybe it's

565
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: the other sibling who should be initiating the conversation. Talking

566
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: to your siblings allows you to figure out how you

567
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 1: should best approach your parents, and it also allows you

568
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 1: to agree on what roles you're willing to play in

569
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 1: your parents lives as they age. You might say, I

570
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: live closest to mom and dad, so I'm going to

571
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: be the one to step up and drive them to

572
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: doctor's appointments and help them out if they need it.

573
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: And you know, your brother, your sister who's better with money,

574
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 1: maybe they're going to be the one who says, okay,

575
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: I volunteered to be power of attorney. You know, if

576
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 1: mom and Dad want to name me power of attorney,

577
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: I volunteered to be the executor for their will because

578
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: I feel more comfortable with the financial side of things.

579
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 1: And maybe you've got another sibling who's more comfortable, you know,

580
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: stepping into the role of healthcare proxy, the person who

581
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: will make medical decisions for mom and dad if they

582
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: are no longer able to. So kind of hashing out

583
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: these roles beforehand so that when you go to your

584
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 1: parents you can say, you know, we've been talking. You know,

585
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: we love you, Mom and dad. You took such good

586
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: care of us. We want to return the favor. You know,

587
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: we all have kind of figured out what we can do,

588
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: what we're willing to do. Of course, we want to

589
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: respect what you want, but we want you to know

590
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: that we've had these conversations that we want to be

591
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: able to help and and we're in this together. And

592
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: you know that that can make it easier for parents

593
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: to feel comfortable talking to their kids if they know

594
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: their kids are united and not divided, because you know,

595
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: the last thing parents want to do is see their

596
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: kids fight. Now, like you said, and some families they

597
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: are there is going there will be fights. Like you,

598
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: no matter how hard you try, you know your siblings

599
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: might not want to do it your way. And it

600
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: shouldn't be just about doing it your way, on say,

601
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: it should be we're having this conversation so we can

602
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: figure out what's best for mom and dad, and and

603
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: and agreeing when you sit down that this is all

604
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: about what's best for mom and dad might help limit

605
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: the arguments and allowing everyone to have a say. And

606
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: if you're the one who's calling the meeting with your siblings,

607
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: you go last and let everyone have a chance to

608
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: talk and not pass any judgment, and then everyone has

609
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: their say, and at the end you speak, and then

610
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: you try to find some common ground, try to get

611
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 1: on the same page with them, try to come to

612
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: some agreement before talking to them. Yeah, it makes sense

613
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: that you should include them on the front end. But

614
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: I love that strategy to get together before you end

615
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 1: up having that conversation with your parents. So we're gonna

616
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: take a break real quick, and then we've got a

617
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: few more things that we want to ask you, Cameron,

618
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 1: and specifically, we are going to talk about how to

619
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: organize some of the information as these conversations occur, and

620
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: we're going to get to that right after the break.

621
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: Al Right, we are back to the break, and Cameron,

622
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you because most folks, they would

623
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: rather talk about like sex or politics, literally anything else

624
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: than have these money conversations, oftentimes with their parents, and

625
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 1: then sometimes it's too late because they're putting it off. Right,

626
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: when do you feel that folks should just start having

627
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: the conversations with their parents. Ideally, these conversations should happen

628
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: when your parents are relatively young, and by that I mean,

629
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: you know, in their fifties would be perfect, when they're healthy,

630
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: ideally before they've even retired. Now that means you know,

631
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: you're probably in your twenties when you're having this conversation,

632
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: and you're probably in your twenties, like, oh, my gosh,

633
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 1: I don't even have my own financial act together. How

634
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: am I supposed to go talk to my parents about

635
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: their finances. Yeah, you might not even have like started

636
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: investing in a four own cave and ira or anything

637
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: like that. You probably don't even know what you're doing.

638
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: But it's a perfect opportunity for you to have this

639
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 1: conversation in a very natural way because you go to

640
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: your parents asking for advice. Mom and Dad, I just

641
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: started a new job. They are giving me a chance

642
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 1: to set aside some of my paycheck for retirement. Should

643
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: I do it? And then your parents response is going

644
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: to give you a clue as to what they've done.

645
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 1: They might say, well, you know, I have a pension

646
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,959
Speaker 1: and I didn't have to worry about that, or yes,

647
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: do it. I wish I started saving sooner, or I

648
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: don't know, I really I have a retirement account of

649
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: work and I really don't even understand it. Their response

650
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: is going to give you some insight into what they've

651
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 1: done with their own retirement planning. Or maybe you say, hey,

652
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: I just got married, do I need a will? Do

653
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: any life insurance? And your parents might say yes, do

654
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: it now, or they might say, gosh, you know, I'm

655
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: a meaning to write a will forever, and that life

656
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 1: insurance policy, I don't know it was a term policy.

657
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's still in effect. So

658
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: their answers are going to give you a clue to

659
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,240
Speaker 1: what they've done. And and and when you're young, it makes

660
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: sense to be asking them for advice when you're in

661
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: your right right by the time, by the time you're

662
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 1: my age and you're in your forties, it would be

663
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: a little bit awkward to go to your parents and

664
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: ask for advice because they might think, you know, you

665
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: should have this figured out by now. You're you're a

666
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: grown up, you have your own kids. Why are you

667
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 1: asking me for advice? Your husband has a doctorate and

668
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: economics exactly. Don't you know this? Yeah, because when you're young,

669
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 1: you have a really good opportunity to have these conversations

670
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: without its seeming so awkward. Obviously, not all your listeners

671
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: are in their twenties. That ship is sailed. But the

672
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 1: thing is, don't wait. Don't wait for your parents to

673
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 1: start having health issues. Don't wait for them to start

674
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 1: showing signs that they might be having trouble getting by

675
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 1: in retirement. The sooner you can have these conversations, the better,

676
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: and you know this personally, Joe, because sometimes it can

677
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: take a while, we're talking, years to get your parents

678
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 1: comfortable enough talking about what can be a very sensitive topic.

679
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 1: And if you wait until they're, you know, in their

680
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,879
Speaker 1: late sixties, early seventies, and they're electant to talk, by

681
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 1: the time they finally might come around, it might be

682
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: because an emergency is forcing them to talk to you,

683
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: and you don't have things in place for you to

684
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: actually legally get involved with their finances, legally make healthier

685
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: decisions for them. So don't wait, commit yourself to having

686
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: these conversations as soon as possible. Yeah, you reference kind

687
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 1: of my situation with my parents, and for sure, I

688
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: gotta say I'm willing to fall on the sword in

689
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: large part on this too, I, especially in my twenties,

690
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: was a little more abrasive and thought I thought I

691
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 1: knew more than I did probably and didn't always approach

692
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 1: the situation with care, with kind of that tenderness that

693
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: I needed to. And so I think my parents probably

694
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: felt a little I don't know if threatens the right

695
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: word or what it was, but you know, I'm like,

696
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 1: like I mentioned to you too, Cameron in the book,

697
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 1: like my parents and are incredibly close with this great

698
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 1: relationship that's been built, you know, over over thirty five

699
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 1: years that I've been alive, and so I certainly don't

700
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: want to make it sound like it's been all difficulty

701
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: my my parents, we have this fantastic relationship. It's just

702
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: that this area of money is so sensitive and I

703
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: didn't always approach it really well. So I want to

704
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 1: ask you, Let's say you are in your twenties and

705
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: you're like me, and you're bad at beginning the conversation.

706
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: Does it ever, does it ever help to to have

707
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: like a third party to come in and to help

708
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: you start that conversation. It certainly can help, especially if

709
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: you have parents who are reluctant to talk about money.

710
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 1: You might ask a family friend whom you know has

711
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: had conversations with their children, or who has been really

712
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: good about planning for their retirement, or they have all

713
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:11,280
Speaker 1: the estate documents that they need, getting them to mention

714
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: something to your parents. You know, Hey, I I talked

715
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 1: to my kids. It's really great. You know, we're all

716
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: on the same page. Now we have a plan for

717
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: dealing with emergencies. You know, they know who the power

718
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 1: of attorney is, they know who the executor or the

719
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: will is. Getting a family, friends, a relative. If your

720
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 1: parents are already working with an attorney or an accountant

721
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 1: or a financial professional, reaching out to that professional. Of course,

722
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: they cannot divulge any information about their parents, your parents

723
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: finances or legal situation to you, but you can ask

724
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 1: them that they suggest to your parents that they share

725
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: information with you because you know, as their children, these

726
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: are things that you need to know. You might have

727
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: a clergy member, you know, your your rabbi or the

728
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: minister at your church reaching out to that person and saying,

729
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: you know, please, I would love it if you could

730
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: talk to my mom and dad about how important it

731
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: would be to talk to me and my siblings about

732
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: their finances. Getting that third party involved can be very

733
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: helpful because oftentimes your parents are going to take the

734
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 1: advice of appear more so than they're going to listen

735
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: to their kids, because they still think of you as

736
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: kids and that kid maybe who you know, broke the

737
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 1: rules and stayed out too late and didn't listen to them,

738
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,879
Speaker 1: and even though you're thirty five years old now and successful,

739
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 1: you're still their kid and they don't want to listen

740
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 1: to advice from you. It's much easier for it to

741
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 1: come from someone their own age. It sounds like you

742
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: just described Matt with all the breaks Almost honestly, I

743
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: was thinking about just me taking advice from my kids.

744
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not ready to take advice for my

745
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: two year old. Just do you think about your spouse

746
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 1: to Okay, you think about this, like how many times

747
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 1: have you been in a stitch wation where you've told

748
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: your spouse, hey, honey, you should do this, Hey honey,

749
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: you should do this, and then the friend comes over

750
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: and suggest it, and then your spouse is like, do

751
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: you know what someone so just said to me? I

752
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: think we should do that? And you're like, I've been

753
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: telling you that for like the past month. And it

754
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 1: applies to your parents too. You know, you could say,

755
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 1: mom and dad, let's have this conversation, let's talk. Can

756
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: we talk about do you have a will? Whatever? And

757
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,879
Speaker 1: they're like, I don't want to talk about this. We're

758
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: gonna talk about it later. I don't want to talk

759
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: about it. And then their best friend says it and

760
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 1: they're like, oh my gosh, Martha was just telling me

761
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: about how she you know, recently updated her will and

762
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 1: all her estate documents and told the kids where they are.

763
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: I think we need to sit down and do this.

764
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: So getting someone in else else involved might light that

765
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 1: fire under your parents. As a Cameron, as we have

766
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: these conversations with our parents, how would you recommend we

767
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 1: go about organizing that information and and what should we

768
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: include in these documents or files or however it is

769
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: that we kind of gather all the stuff together. Ideally,

770
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 1: then more information you can get from your parents, the better.

771
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: And if they are willing to sit down and have

772
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 1: conversations with you, you want to take notes. That doesn't

773
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: mean you need to bring your computer along and you know,

774
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: fire up the Excel spreadsheet, because that's that can be

775
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: more intimidating. It makes it look like it's a it's

776
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: a business meeting, not a conversation where your parents can relax.

777
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: And these and these conversations they should be relaxed because

778
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 1: they can be awkward. But you know, let your parents

779
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: know that you you want to sit down and have

780
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: the conversations. And is it okay if I take some

781
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: notes because I don't want to forget this Mom and

782
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: Nette and it's so important and I want to make

783
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,399
Speaker 1: sure I get it right, and so you know, if

784
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,359
Speaker 1: we they're going to say sure, or you could just

785
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: simply say you know, Mom and Nette, I recognize that

786
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: this might be a little bit awkward and you might

787
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: feel a little uncomfortable telling me these details about your finances.

788
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: How about we do this instead. How about you write

789
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: down the details of your finances for me. You make

790
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: at to the accounts you have, You make a list

791
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: of the insurance policies you have, You make a list

792
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: of the assets you have. Anything that you can think of,

793
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: put it on the list. And the more detail you

794
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: can provide me the better. With user names and passwords

795
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 1: for online accounts, account numbers, the name of the bank

796
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: where you bank, the types of accounts that you have

797
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: at your bank, the location of the key to the

798
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 1: house where the will is. You know who's your power

799
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: of attorney, the name of your actual attorney or your accountant.

800
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 1: The more information you can put on this list for me,

801
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: Mom and Dad, the better. And then you put it

802
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 1: someplace safe and tell me where it is in case

803
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: I need to access it. And we can even agree

804
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 1: on the instances when I would be allowed to access

805
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: this information. And this gives your parents control because a

806
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: lot of times they're reluctant to have these conversations because

807
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: they're feeling like they're giving up control to you, and

808
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: so you're letting them. I'm I'm giving you control. You

809
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: have the list, you have all this information, You tell

810
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: me where to find it, and you tell me at

811
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: what point I can access it, at what point you

812
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 1: might need help and you might need my help, And

813
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: so you're letting them maintain that control. But I do

814
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 1: have on my website on Camermon Huddleston dot com and

815
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: fill in the blank financial inventory that's free, and you

816
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: can download it and give it to your parents and

817
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 1: ask them to fill it out and store it someplace

818
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 1: safe to make it easy. Yeah, that's great. We'll totally

819
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 1: include a link to that in the show notes by

820
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: the way as well. So I mean, as far as

821
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 1: these documents, right, like, how often, like you mentioned this earlier,

822
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: I think, but how often should you go back and

823
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 1: and update those Is this something that you should sort

824
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: of revisit every six months every year, or you know,

825
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,439
Speaker 1: maybe like once every five years, just to make sure

826
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 1: that nothing major has changed. I'm curious about that. I

827
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:51,399
Speaker 1: would certainly recommend you know that if your parents are,

828
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: you know, open to these conversations and they're open to

829
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: giving you this information, set a reminder for yourself once

830
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 1: a year to check in. Hey, mom and dad, I

831
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: just you know, I just went through and updated my

832
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: list of accounts, and I just want to check in

833
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: to make sure there haven't been any changes. Maybe you've

834
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: changed some passwords or user names, maybe you've gotten rid

835
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: of an account that you no longer are using. Just

836
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 1: update your list. If you've got your list, or if

837
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 1: you've given it to me, anything that I need to

838
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: know about, just so that we're on top of everything,

839
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 1: you know, set yourself a reminder and then talk to

840
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: him about it. I actually have some friends whose parents

841
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 1: give them an updated Excel spreadsheet every six months. They're

842
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: that on top of it. Those those are the lucky few,

843
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 1: you know, you know, those are the those are the

844
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: lucky few. But you know, not all parents are gonna

845
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: do that. But you might be surprised, you know, your

846
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: parents might be much more willing to give you this

847
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: information than you think, and you're making it out to

848
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 1: be a bigger the deal than it really is. But certainly,

849
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 1: setting a reminder to remind your parents to update any

850
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: list of accounts that they have or to update you

851
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 1: on an major changes certainly would be a good idea.

852
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: Just we haven't talked a whole lot about this, but

853
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: I really want to highlight the importance of those legal documents.

854
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: Like if the only thing that you can find out

855
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,479
Speaker 1: from your parents is whether they have a will, power

856
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 1: of attorney, and a living will, which is also called

857
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 1: an advanced healthcare directive, if that's the only information you

858
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: could pull out of them, that's great because those documents

859
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: are so important, you know, and it sounds like it's

860
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: something only rich people do when you talk about the

861
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: state planning documents, but these are documents everyone should have.

862
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: You need a will to spell out who gets what,

863
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 1: even if you don't have a lot, because your state

864
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 1: has a will for you if you don't have your own,

865
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,360
Speaker 1: and the state law is going to decide who gets what,

866
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,240
Speaker 1: and it might not be the person your parents want

867
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 1: to get the house or the car, whatever they leave behind.

868
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: The Power of attorney is a legal document that lets

869
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: you name someone to make financial decisions for you if

870
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 1: you no longer can. So you're parents need to name

871
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,879
Speaker 1: a power of attorney, and again this feels like they're

872
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 1: giving up power by doing this, but you want to

873
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: remind them Mom and dad, wouldn't you rather pick the

874
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: person who's going to make these very important decisions for

875
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 1: you if you no longer can, then to have a

876
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: judge decide who's going to do it, then have someone

877
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 1: step up and say, hey, I want to be the

878
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: one who's in charge, and they go through the legal

879
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: process to do it. And then finally, the living Will

880
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 1: Advanced health Care Directive lets you spell out your end

881
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,800
Speaker 1: of life medical treatment that you do or do not want,

882
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: and lets you name someone to make medical decisions for you.

883
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: All of these documents have to be signed while you

884
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 1: are still mentally competent, so it's so important to have them. Ideally,

885
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: you want to meet with an attorney to draft them.

886
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 1: If that doesn't fit within your parents budget, there are

887
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: lower cost versions online at sites such as no Law

888
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: dot com, legal zoom rock at lawyer Um. You know,

889
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: but you could offer if you are in a financial

890
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 1: position where you can afford it. You might even suggest

891
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: that you want to give it to your parents as

892
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 1: a gift. You know, I did my will and my

893
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: power of attorney and all my other state planning documents.

894
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 1: Mom and Dad, I'm so glad I've done this. I'd

895
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 1: love to give it to you as a Christmas s

896
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 1: gift this year. I'd love to give it to you

897
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 1: as a mother's take gift to father's take gift, offer

898
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 1: it to them. That's a great idea, Cameron. I just

899
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 1: want to say, if anybody is thinking about getting me

900
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 1: a will for my birthday or Christmas, don't do it,

901
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 1: because that's not what I want. Okay. And we did

902
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: talk about wills actually back in episode forty two, so

903
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: folks want to know even for themselves, if you're in

904
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,720
Speaker 1: your twenties or thirties and you've started a young family,

905
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: the importance of wills for for your own self and

906
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: your own family are that's a very important step to take.

907
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 1: So you can check that out and we'll link to

908
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 1: that in the show notes. We have one more question

909
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: for you, Camon and and by the way, Cameron, thank

910
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: you so much for going over those specific necessities, those

911
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: legal needs that really helps give people a place to

912
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 1: start on the right foot. But on that note, what

913
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: one piece of advice do you have for people to

914
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 1: kind of get the ball rolling in this direction. If

915
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: they've gotten information overload from this conversation and they're like,

916
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: where do I begin? Where do they begin? I know

917
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 1: it is a lot of information. First, begin by telling

918
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 1: yourself that as scary as these conversations might seem, they're

919
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: probably not going to be nearly as awkward as you

920
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 1: think they will be. You're you're probably building it up

921
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: in your head to be something terrible. Your parents are

922
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:29,479
Speaker 1: gonna get mad. That is probably not going to happen,

923
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 1: especially if you have a good relationship with your parents.

924
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: So first thing, get over the fear that you might have,

925
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 1: because I can tell you that as scary as the

926
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: conversations might seem, the consequences of not having them can

927
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 1: be a whole lot worse and a whole lot more

928
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,760
Speaker 1: expensive for you. If you end up in courts because

929
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: your parents didn't name a power attorney, you have to

930
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: go through the legal process of becoming their conservator. Get

931
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 1: past your fears of having the conversation because it is

932
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 1: so important that you have it, and then figure out

933
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 1: what approach you want to take, whether it's using a

934
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 1: story about me, for example, whose mother developed Alzheimer's at

935
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 1: sixty five and I had to get involved with their finances,

936
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,760
Speaker 1: and say, I listen to a podcast about a woman

937
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 1: who had to get involved with her mom's finances and

938
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 1: she hadn't had conversations Mom and dad, let's talk so

939
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,800
Speaker 1: this doesn't happen to us, or asking your parents for advice,

940
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 1: or you know, just simply telling them, Mom and dad,

941
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 1: I really want to have conversations with you about your

942
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 1: finances so we can be prepared. Get over your fears

943
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: and figure out the approach you want to take, and

944
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 1: then find the time to do it. Find the time

945
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:44,360
Speaker 1: when you can sit down have the conversation without being rushed.

946
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 1: Should not be during the Thanksgiving meal or the holiday meal,

947
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,359
Speaker 1: because they're going to be other people there who don't

948
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 1: need to be part of the conversation. Talk to your siblings,

949
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,439
Speaker 1: get them all on board, but get over your fear,

950
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: make your plan and do it. And we all know

951
00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 1: what the trip to Fan of the Turkey would do

952
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 1: to a versation, you know, train all the energy on it.

953
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: Right someone's being you know, I had too much wine

954
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 1: and then things get out of hand and everyone starts

955
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: yelling and it's not a good scene at all. O Cameron,

956
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: this has been an awesome conversation. We really appreciate you

957
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 1: joining us on this episode. And where can folks find

958
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,439
Speaker 1: you as well as your book, you can find out

959
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:22,360
Speaker 1: more information about me about my book, I've got resources

960
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 1: for people to use with their parents. It's all at

961
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:30,320
Speaker 1: Cameron Huddleston dot com and there are links to Amazon,

962
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: Barnes and Noble and the other places where you can

963
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 1: buy the book. Awesome, Cameron, thank you so much. This

964
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 1: has been a great conversation. We really appreciate you joining us.

965
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, thanks Cameron. All Right, Joel Man, that

966
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 1: was so good. What a great conversation. Which is funny

967
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: to say about something that isn't always the brightest topic.

968
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: I remember when we did our episode on wills. Anytime

969
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: we talk about something that is about end of life

970
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: care or insurance, bad situations, it's kind of a downer.

971
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 1: But man, this was actually a really encouraging conversation, and

972
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm glad we were able to talk with Cameron about this. Well.

973
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people, well, there's this trepidation

974
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,720
Speaker 1: to even get started, right. It is such a difficult

975
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: thing to say, I'm going to talk to my parents

976
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 1: about their money and their future and their retirement and

977
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: long term care. But I think Cameron gave us some

978
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: of the tools to get started and some of the

979
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 1: motivation of why it's important and how it's going to

980
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 1: help us and our parents at the same time. So

981
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 1: it's really good stuff. Yeah, I totally agree, man. So

982
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: for you, what was your big takeaway? I think my

983
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: big takeaway was the fact that, you know, my parents

984
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,399
Speaker 1: are are in their mid sixties, but I still need

985
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 1: to get a handle on some of these specific documents

986
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,319
Speaker 1: and whether they have them, what state they're in, and

987
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: that's a conversation. You know, We've had other conversations about

988
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 1: retirement in the future and how they're doing getting ready

989
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 1: for retirement, but but I haven't gotten a power of

990
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 1: attorney or and I don't know if they have a will,

991
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 1: And so that's on my to do list for the

992
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: coming weeks to to kind of start to have those

993
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 1: specific conversations and drilled down and see where they're at

994
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,399
Speaker 1: in those regards. What about you, What was the big

995
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: takeaway for you in this? For me, I thought the

996
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 1: biggest takeaway that I gleaned was for our younger listeners,

997
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 1: for them to start these conversations with their parents when

998
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 1: they're young, maybe fresh out of college, and to start

999
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: building this sort of culture of talking about these things. Right,

1000
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 1: there shouldn't be something that has never talked about until

1001
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 1: you're in a tough situation. This could instead be a

1002
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: healthy dialogue. And in particular, I just loved what she

1003
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 1: said about going to your parents for advice to Yeah,

1004
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 1: and you start learning about maybe what to actually do

1005
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: in life. But you kind of start seeing what they're doing,

1006
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 1: and some of that might be good, some of that

1007
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: might not be so good. But you start kind of

1008
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 1: gauging the temperature of the water a little bit. But

1009
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: what a great way to have the smaller conversation sooner

1010
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 1: that feel just more casual. I think that's how I

1011
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 1: would have liked to have approached it, maybe when I

1012
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,800
Speaker 1: was fresh out of college. As it is, I actually

1013
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 1: can't really remember when I started having these conversations with

1014
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 1: my parents, But I know for a lot of our

1015
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: younger listeners that that could be an amazing way to

1016
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,720
Speaker 1: just start that dialogue. Yeah, you know, it feels sneaky,

1017
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 1: like a fox to to ask for advice and then

1018
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 1: get the conversation rolling that way, Like the smart kind

1019
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 1: of way to approach it. You know, people love being

1020
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 1: asked for advice, and so if you approach the conversation

1021
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,919
Speaker 1: in that way, you'll find that the doors just opened

1022
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,840
Speaker 1: a little bit easier. So it makes a lot of sense.

1023
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: All right, man, let's get back to the beer that

1024
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 1: we had on the show. While we were talking with Cameron.

1025
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: We had a brewery called Fairy Nectar I p A

1026
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 1: by Cross Train Brewing Company. This beer was donated to

1027
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 1: us by Joey in Omaha. And what do you think

1028
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 1: it is? Beer? Man? I am a huge fan of

1029
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:19,920
Speaker 1: this beer that I thought this was really fantastic. It

1030
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: was incredibly balanced and so it didn't quite taste like

1031
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: an old school I p A. But it also wasn't

1032
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 1: full on New England style hazy I PA either. It

1033
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: was just really balanced. I love the hot bitterness that

1034
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: came through, but I also really like there's some juicy

1035
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: notes coming through as well. But how about you, man,

1036
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: what were your thoughts on this beer? Yeah? To me,

1037
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:38,800
Speaker 1: I agree, this wasn't old school, This wasn't completely new school.

1038
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 1: It was kind of like the cool kid, but the

1039
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: effortlessly cool kid, right uh, And so it was a

1040
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: really good beer. It was, it was even bodied, it

1041
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 1: was it was fresh, had these nice aromas, and I

1042
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: thought I had this nice, little great fruit vibe going on,

1043
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 1: which I love and a good I PA. So I

1044
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: thought this was a really really good beer. And so

1045
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 1: big thanks to Joey for sending it our way, man,

1046
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,839
Speaker 1: we really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks so much. Show All right, Matt,

1047
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: that's gonna be it for this episode, and we are

1048
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,759
Speaker 1: giving away a couple of copies of Cameron's book Mom

1049
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: and Dad We need to Talk and a lot of

1050
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 1: our listeners could use the in depth, long form advice

1051
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: in Cameron's book. And so the way to get entered

1052
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 1: into that drawing is to follow us on Instagram. All

1053
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 1: you have to do is click that follow button and

1054
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,399
Speaker 1: then send us an email at how to Money Pod

1055
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com by Friday at noon, and you

1056
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: will be entered into that drawing. We'll announce the winners

1057
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: on Monday's podcast a week from today. Yeah, Joel, end

1058
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 1: to find us on Instagram just search how to Money Pod. Yeah,

1059
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 1: and if you already follow us on Instagram, that's cool too.

1060
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 1: You are already entered in, but we still need that

1061
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: email from you. Letting us know that's how you get

1062
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: entered exactly. Yeah, so that's gonna be it for this episode. Man,

1063
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: We'll have our show notes up per usual and how

1064
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: some money dot Com and Joel Until next time, Best

1065
00:54:48,000 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: Friends Out, Best Friends Out, m