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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: My wife became neglectful after she became obsessed with roadblocks.

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Speaker 4: You gotta respect the game. It's roadblocks. I don't know

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Speaker 4: what she was.

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Speaker 5: Don't hate the play it game exactly.

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Speaker 3: My wife thirty seven female, and I thirty six male,

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Speaker 3: have always tried to keep the housework pretty evenly split

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Speaker 3: between us. I, for example, mow the lawn and do

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Speaker 3: laundry and dishes, and she meal plans, cooks and picks

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Speaker 3: up slash drops off the kids. And by the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from user middle leading eight four six nine

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Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay Storytime subridit and submit them there. Lately,

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Speaker 3: this has all changed because she has become hopelessly obsessed

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Speaker 3: to a game called Dress to Impress on a Roadblox.

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Speaker 3: If you aren't familiar, it's a game where you have

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Speaker 3: to dress your character in a themed outfit before the

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Speaker 3: time time runs out, and then other players rate it

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Speaker 3: from one to five stars. It started off harmless, just

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Speaker 3: of little fun thing she would do during downtime before bed,

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Speaker 3: But recently she has missed rucial appointments and chores because

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Speaker 3: of this game. I tried to be understanding and gently

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Speaker 3: remind her to do her tasks, but she would always

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Speaker 3: say she forgot and got distracted. The big argument happened

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Speaker 3: last night when she forgot to pick up our nine

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Speaker 3: year old son from basketball practice, which ended at six pm.

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Speaker 3: I hadn't gotten home yet, as I had to work late,

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Speaker 3: and our son doesn't have a phone, so I had

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Speaker 3: no way of knowing the situation. I eventually got home

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Speaker 3: around seven and realized he was not in his room.

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Speaker 3: I looked around further and saw that he was nowhere

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Speaker 3: to be found. I walked into our bedroom, confused to

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Speaker 3: ask my wife where he was, and found her on

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Speaker 3: her iPad playing the game as always.

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Speaker 6: When I asked her.

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Speaker 3: Where our son was, her eyes grew wide, and I

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Speaker 3: knew what happened without her having to say. I immediately

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Speaker 3: got back into my car and went to pick him up. Luckily,

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Speaker 3: his coach had stayed after to make sure he was

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Speaker 3: picked up safe, and I apologized profusely. Apparently he had

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Speaker 3: been calling and texting my wife, who was the emergency contact,

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Speaker 3: and she didn't even notice when we got home.

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Speaker 5: I immediately blew up at her.

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Speaker 3: How could she be so addicted to a kid's game

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Speaker 3: that she completely forgot our own son. Now she's telling

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Speaker 3: me it was a one time thing and that I'm

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Speaker 3: an a hole for getting angry.

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Speaker 6: I don't know what to think.

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Speaker 3: I do kind of understand her side of the story,

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Speaker 3: as it has only happened one time, but she has

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Speaker 3: to be a responsible parent. You can't just completely forget

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Speaker 3: about our child who has no way to get home

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Speaker 3: on his own.

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Speaker 5: So am I the a hole?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: It's like it sure, it's only been one time, but

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Speaker 3: it's like it should be zero times that you forget

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Speaker 3: your kid exists when he's at basketball practice for an hour.

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Speaker 4: Like it can't.

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Speaker 7: It's not the kind of thing where it's just like, oh, sorry,

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Speaker 7: my bad, Like my bad, I didn't pick up my

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Speaker 7: own son who is nine years old. Yeah, Like that's

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Speaker 7: not something that can just be like, hey, you gotta

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Speaker 7: do this, like and then she's like okay, sure, Like

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Speaker 7: this is like no, oh yeah, he's absolutely allowed to

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Speaker 7: be mad at that.

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Speaker 3: And imagine how your kid feels your kid's like my

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Speaker 3: mom forgot about me. Right, there are some relevant comments here.

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Speaker 3: Let's go ahead and get into not the a hole.

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Speaker 3: This is not a chore that she's blowing off. It's

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Speaker 3: forgetting your own child. How could she not even notice

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Speaker 3: the calls and text from the coach. That's what I'm

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Speaker 3: wondering about. Is something else going on with her? OHP

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Speaker 3: says I'm not entirely sure how she missed all the

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Speaker 3: messages and phone calls. We haven't spoken much since the argument.

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Speaker 3: I haven't noticed anything different with her, but I could

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Speaker 3: be missing things. Tom Address, who says, OPI is her

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Speaker 3: iPad hooked up to her iPhone? Because if it is,

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Speaker 3: then your wife willfully ignored the messages and calls. Those

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Speaker 3: things are shown on any Apple device hooked to the

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Speaker 3: same accounts. Also, I would remove your wife from every

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Speaker 3: emergency contact or add yourself with a note requiring they

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Speaker 3: notify you both hope, he says. I think the other

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Speaker 3: replies are right. She has her iPad on silent still,

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Speaker 3: I feel like she would have seen the notifications anyway.

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Speaker 3: I texted the coach to add my number to the

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Speaker 3: emergency contact list, so hopefully nothing like this will happen again.

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Speaker 5: Comment or three Is this real?

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Speaker 3: She needs therapy if she's so into a silly kids

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Speaker 3: game with avatars that she's forgetting her own real child.

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Speaker 3: This is a scary and serious event for your child,

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Speaker 3: exactly and okay, maybe losing track of time, but missing

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Speaker 3: the calls and the texts too, that's insane, not the ahole.

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Speaker 5: Hope your kid's okay.

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Speaker 3: He probably felt so scared and abandon op says, thanks

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Speaker 3: for your concern. I'm planning on talking to her tomorrow morning,

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Speaker 3: because we'll have had a good day to cool off

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Speaker 3: and think about it. I talked to my son in

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Speaker 3: the car after the original event, and he seemed okay

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Speaker 3: from my perspective. Obviously a little afraid and confused, but

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Speaker 3: nothing that should impact him in the long run. I'll

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Speaker 3: continue to be checking up on him and making sure

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Speaker 3: though op Comment four, Op, it could be worth getting

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Speaker 3: one of those phones that can only dial certain numbers

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Speaker 3: for your son and change the emergency contact to yourself

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Speaker 3: and another trustworthy adult within acceptable distance from your area,

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Speaker 3: just till she proves herself and stays off the game.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, good idea. Might look into a flip phone

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Speaker 3: or something similar. I just don't want to give him

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Speaker 3: free rane on the internet so young, so this will

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Speaker 3: probably be a good solution. I'm under five. I'm not

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Speaker 3: the a hole, but I have questions. Does your wife work,

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Speaker 3: what time does she get home? How does your kid

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Speaker 3: get home when he doesn't have practice? How many kids

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Speaker 3: do you have? Jesus A lot of questions.

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Speaker 6: Who normally makes dinner? And when do you all eat?

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Speaker 3: I'm struggling to understand how this happened. Opie says she

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Speaker 3: works part time, usually gets home around two. You only

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Speaker 3: have one kid. He gets home on the school bus

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Speaker 3: when there's no practice. She in the past has been

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Speaker 3: the one in charge of cooking and food, but recently

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Speaker 3: I've started to do this because of the events in

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Speaker 3: the post. We're usually eating around six thirty and there

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Speaker 3: is an update. Hi everyone, thank you for all your

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Speaker 3: advice on my previous post. So I decided to have

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Speaker 3: a conversation with my wife the day after I made

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Speaker 3: the post about the time spent on video games. We

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Speaker 3: talked for a while and I tried to bring up

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Speaker 3: important things people talked about in the comments. I saw

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Speaker 3: a lot of people suggesting that I completely block and

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Speaker 3: delete rollblocks from her devices, and I brought that up.

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Speaker 5: Obviously, she didn't take that well.

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Speaker 3: I told her it's completely unacceptable what she has been

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Speaker 3: doing and there needs to be at least a time

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Speaker 3: limit set on her device. I can't control her, but

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Speaker 3: I made it clear it's a very important thing to

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Speaker 3: me and it would damage our relationship if she said no.

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Speaker 3: After I said this, she agreed to the time limits.

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Speaker 3: Another thing I saw a lot in the comments was

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Speaker 3: concerned for my wife's mental health. I appreciate people's insight

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Speaker 3: into this because it's something I don't really have a

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Speaker 3: lot of experience in. I asked her if she would

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Speaker 3: consider seeing a therapist, and she said she would think

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Speaker 3: about it. People were also concerned about how my son

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Speaker 3: is feeling after all this. I didn't realize that it

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Speaker 3: was something that may have an impact on him. I

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Speaker 3: had a conversation with him and made sure he understood

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Speaker 3: his mom and I love and care for him. Nothing

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Speaker 3: like this would ever happen again.

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Speaker 6: But if you.

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Speaker 3: Want to listen to full episodes with stories like this

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Speaker 3: again and again and again, all you have to do

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Speaker 3: is go to Spotify or have a podcasts or wherever

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Speaker 3: you get your podcasts from and search.

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Speaker 6: Okay, story time, just.

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Speaker 7: If you're if you're listening, just remember to pick up

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Speaker 7: your kids. You could pause us for that, that's okay.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you can. Also you could take us with you.

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Speaker 5: We're mobile, like you can just put us in your

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Speaker 5: ears and so right.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you don't have to dress to impress us you.

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Speaker 6: We take you as you are.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and there is a little bit left in

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Speaker 3: the story here, but I think we've kind of already

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Speaker 3: hit everything.

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Speaker 5: Let's go ahead and dive right in.

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Speaker 4: Let's do it.

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Speaker 3: I have also ordered him a cheap flip phone so

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Speaker 3: he wouldn't be completely stranded alone if these events did

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Speaker 3: end up repeating. If there's anything I should do or

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Speaker 3: could do differently regarding my son, please let me know,

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Speaker 3: because I don't exactly know how to navigate the situation

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Speaker 3: really quickly. On the cell phone bit, it's like I

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Speaker 3: remember I had one like that, like the flip phone.

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Speaker 5: It wasn't a flip phone.

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Speaker 3: It's like literally a phone designed like four kids, where

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Speaker 3: it's like, oh, you can only call numbers that are

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Speaker 3: saved in the phone book, and you can only receive

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Speaker 3: calls from those numbers.

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Speaker 5: It was called a firefly. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: It was like it looked like a little like it

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Speaker 3: was like a little orange like oval phone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so cool here, Yeah, this is so cool, dude.

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Speaker 7: I work with like like a lot of eight year old's,

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Speaker 7: nine year olds, ten year olds.

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Speaker 5: iPhones, iPhones all over the place. It's wild. That is wild.

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Speaker 3: I would not I completely understand I wanting to give

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Speaker 3: your kid an iPhone, but they get safety.

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Speaker 7: I get safety, but like having a phone like that

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Speaker 7: is actually it like I don't know why I didn't

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Speaker 7: even think of that, but that's very smart.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, very different.

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Speaker 3: There are there are, and I there should if there

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Speaker 3: were phones like that before, there should still be phones

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Speaker 3: like that now.

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Speaker 6: I'm sure.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be too harsh on my wife.

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Speaker 3: We love each other and it's been made more clear

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Speaker 3: after our talk that should not be marriage ending or

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Speaker 3: cause any lasting damage. And I agree with that.

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Speaker 6: Ridiculous. Yeah, to consider ending your marriage.

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Speaker 3: Over dress to impress is a wild It's just a conversation,

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Speaker 3: and it's like, why is.

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Speaker 5: Our behavior the way it is right now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, do we see that we need to make changes?

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Speaker 3: If anyone has any further advice or thoughts. I'll be

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Speaker 3: happy to read it.

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Speaker 5: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: We do have some comments from my experience, it can

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Speaker 3: be quite hard to quit and a behavior like this,

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Speaker 3: so she needs to be really committed and willing to

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Speaker 3: try and fail quite a few times before really getting

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Speaker 3: into a new groove personally. Can't just do something a

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Speaker 3: little bit or have timers. I just have to quit

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Speaker 3: it altogether before the compulsion or obsession disappears. The other

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Speaker 3: things to watch for is switching, so she drops the

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Speaker 3: roeblock but starts playing candy crush or drinking, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: If you're looking for some more information on it, Gabor

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Speaker 3: Matte is a good beginning, and his was classical music

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Speaker 3: rather than substance. Another resource you might like is Johann

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Speaker 3: Hari Dolan focus how big Tech deliberately designed software devices

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Speaker 3: to be dopamine driven and if you guys can stick

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Speaker 3: with it in persistent pushing through the other side, what

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Speaker 3: she might experience as a period of boredom, frustration, or

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Speaker 3: irritability and then gradually start to feel more normal and

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Speaker 3: enjoy life again. Hope you all do well, And there's

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Speaker 3: another comment here another point you don't have to be

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Speaker 3: harsh on your wife, but you should be firm. I

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Speaker 3: like the concept of responsible compassion. You love the person,

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Speaker 3: you sit with their feelings, but they're still held accountable

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Speaker 3: for their behavior and choices. When they fail, you were there,

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Speaker 3: but you expect them to try again, and you hold

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Speaker 3: reasonable boundaries. Commentary three says, Oh, Pee, it's really good

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Speaker 3: that you talked and that she seems to have heard you.

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Speaker 3: My question is that she work outside the home.

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Speaker 2: She does.

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Speaker 3: She has a part time job, and perhaps having a

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Speaker 3: job would help her not be so obsessed. Even a

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Speaker 3: part time job that gets her out of the house

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Speaker 3: or around people, maybe that would help a lot. Perhaps

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Speaker 3: being home alone so much made it too easy to

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Speaker 3: get too involved in gaming. As to your son, if

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Speaker 3: she hasn't grasped how serious that was, she really should

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Speaker 3: get some treatment, which she did could have caused long

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Speaker 3: term trauma to him, abandonment issues and feelings that his

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Speaker 3: mom doesn't want him around, not saying he.

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Speaker 5: Feels this way, but he could.

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Speaker 3: You did great by talking to him and reassuring him,

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Speaker 3: But did she That is the end of that story there.

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Speaker 7: Listen, you give you anything, and phones and games are

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Speaker 7: a very highly at risk.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that big old dopamine generators right there. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: but that is the end of that story. We are

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Speaker 3: going to get into the next one. My husband forgot

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Speaker 3: to RCP to his cousin's wedding. Now he's blaming me.

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Speaker 3: Hey you, my secretary, No, no, you might cousin.

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Speaker 1: Look in the mirror. My thirty three female husband's thirty

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Speaker 1: five male cousin is getting married. And we received our

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Speaker 1: invitations about three months ago. The invite was addressed to

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Speaker 1: our entire family, and when you go online to RCP,

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Speaker 1: it lists each of our names individually. You can check

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Speaker 1: off who you are rsvping for. By the way, this

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Speaker 1: comes from rsv pissed off on the r slash Okay

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Speaker 1: story Times sub reddit. As soon as I received the invite,

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Speaker 1: I went online to RSVP. There was a section four

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Speaker 1: advice to the couple and another four song request smart idea.

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Speaker 1: I checked all our names and filled everything out immediately. However,

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Speaker 1: my husband said he needed time to think about the

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Speaker 1: advice he wanted to give and the songs he wanted

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Speaker 1: to request. We can't just RSVP now. We got to

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Speaker 1: really think about these extra boxes, the optional boxes. We

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Speaker 1: got a fill in, right.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I don't want to answer wrong.

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Speaker 1: All right, no big deal. I'll wait for him to

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Speaker 1: figure it out. But later that night I wanted to

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Speaker 1: ask if we could finish the RSVP together, but he

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Speaker 1: got frustrated and snapped at me, like, God, no, I

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Speaker 1: haven't had time to think about it.

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Speaker 5: Please don't rush me.

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Speaker 4: I need time. I need time.

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Speaker 5: I have a lot of thoughts. I need time for

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Speaker 5: these thoughts.

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Speaker 1: I decided to leave it alone because since he can

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Speaker 1: be dramatic sometimes and to pick your battles and one

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Speaker 1: not Three weeks have passed by and I started to

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Speaker 1: feel stressed because the RSVP the responsible deadline was approaching.

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Speaker 2: Rub Yeah John.

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Speaker 1: Every time I asked about him, he still wasn't ready,

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Speaker 1: saying that he hadn't had time to really sit down

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Speaker 1: and finger about it yet. Eventually I told him I

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Speaker 1: was going to RSVP for myself and the kids and

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Speaker 1: he could do his whenever he was ready. I hated

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Speaker 1: the feeling of nagging him about it, and I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to do it anymore. He agreed and said that

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Speaker 1: he would take care of it.

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Speaker 6: Well yeah, he.

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Speaker 3: Meant it in like the New York Tony soprano way. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: he's just doing a gab the penguin.

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Speaker 2: Hey damn it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, actually, yeah, kind of a little bit. Two weeks

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Speaker 1: went by and the deadline passed. I was at his

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Speaker 1: cousin's bridal shower when she said I'm so sorry that

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Speaker 1: your husband isn't coming to the wedding. I immediately realized

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Speaker 1: he had forgotten RSVP. No to respond play response. I

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Speaker 1: sighed and told her he probably just forgot. She looked

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Speaker 1: at me a bit strangely and confused as to why

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Speaker 1: I didnt RSVP for him along with the kids. I

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Speaker 1: explained the situation, but it felt like she didn't really

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Speaker 1: believe me. Yeah, trying to, because that would be crazy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and everyone thinks that she's, oh god, just.

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Speaker 5: Lying about it.

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Speaker 7: Well.

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Speaker 1: Later that night, my husband got a message from his

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Speaker 1: cousin the bride, asking if what I told her at

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Speaker 1: the bridal shower was true. He admitted that he had

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Speaker 1: forgotten to rs VP. She said that she hadn't realized

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Speaker 1: it was just in an oversight and assumed that he

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Speaker 1: genuinely couldn't come because of his job, which sometimes requires

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Speaker 1: him to travel on weekends when her wedding is She

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Speaker 1: then mentioned that since it had been over a week

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Speaker 1: since the deadline. They had already submitted the numbers to

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Speaker 1: the caterer and signed the contract.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but that's not a big deal. I that's honestly

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Speaker 3: not a big deal. No, you bring a lunch?

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Speaker 1: Well, what about your seat?

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Speaker 3: Are you bringing?

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Speaker 6: You?

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Speaker 1: Are you bringing a lawnchair?

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Speaker 5: Bringing a lunch? I guarantee you that they can bring

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Speaker 5: one more chair.

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Speaker 1: She also said she hadn't made the seating chart yet,

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Speaker 1: but couldn't guarantee they could adjust the dinner arrangements. At

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Speaker 1: this point, I told my husband not to make her

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Speaker 1: go through all that trouble because he forgot to RSTP.

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Speaker 1: He insisted that he wasn't going to miss his cousin's

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Speaker 1: wedding and asked why I just didn't RSVP for him

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Speaker 1: if I knew he was going to miss the deadline.

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Speaker 5: Du No, ways, you know I'm missing competent.

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Speaker 1: Why did you let me do that? Why did you

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Speaker 1: let me?

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Speaker 5: You put me in charge of mail?

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Speaker 1: Oh boy? I told him I didn't realize he had

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Speaker 1: forgotten until his cousin mentioned it at the bridal shower,

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Speaker 1: and by then it was too late. He still thinks

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Speaker 1: I should have reminded him more, and then I'm purposely

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Speaker 1: being an a hole to prove my point. Bro, you said,

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Speaker 1: like you kept getting like, oh.

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Speaker 5: Please stop reminding me, please.

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Speaker 1: But now he's worried he'll look stupid if I go

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Speaker 1: to the wedding with our kids and without him. People

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Speaker 1: start asking why he couldn't make it. So am I

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Speaker 1: the a hole? We have an update? Can we really

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Speaker 1: quickly answer, is OP the a.

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Speaker 2: Hole or not?

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Speaker 1: If she goes to the wedding.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, if you knew your husband was that dumb, yeah

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Speaker 3: you are. No, of course you're not. No, of course

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Speaker 3: you're not.

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Speaker 1: He is the one that messed up. How does he

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00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,120
Speaker 1: not understand that? Cassie O'Brien says, he's an adult, right

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00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,000
Speaker 1: right exactly. But there is an update where the fallout

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Speaker 1: will be revealed. Maybe so update. I didn't realize this

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Speaker 1: would get so many comments, but I've been reading through

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Speaker 1: them all and want to answer a few common questions

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Speaker 1: for those saying I would have just RSVP'd and let

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Speaker 1: him fill it out later. I didn't realize you could

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Speaker 1: do that. When we got married ten years ago, we

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Speaker 1: didn't have a wedding website or anything like that we

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Speaker 1: had people RVP by three cards by mail. I figured

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Speaker 1: that once you submitted the RCP, that's it. You can't

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Speaker 1: go back that to it. I'm looking at the wedding

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Speaker 1: website now, and whilst it doesn't allow us to RCP anymore,

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Speaker 1: it does let us edit the information in it. But again,

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Speaker 1: I genuinely had no idea this was possible. If I

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Speaker 1: had remembered that he had an RSVP'd, I would have

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Speaker 1: done it myself. But I actually forgot because of the

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Speaker 1: next point, which is for those asking if he had ADHD,

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Speaker 1: yes he does, but so do I and both of

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Speaker 1: our kids. We met in an ADHD support group in college.

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Speaker 3: So I think, uh, given that, I think I need

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Speaker 3: to clarify because I feel like it could be really

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Speaker 3: easy to interpret me saying rat brain as like a dismerchment.

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Speaker 5: It's more just like, I consider rat I have rat brain.

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Speaker 3: I'm a rat braindividual tuty ratituti. Yeah, no, but it's

390
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,360
Speaker 3: just like it's rat brain is like you're just doing something,

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Speaker 3: then you're doing something else, and it's like and then

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Speaker 3: you'll go over and every memory you've ever had and

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Speaker 3: your whole life is gone.

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Speaker 1: Where's the cheese because you're busy getting cheesey cheese somewhere else,

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Speaker 1: give it to me.

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Speaker 3: As soon as you lose sight of the cheese, it's

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Speaker 3: onto the next piece of cheese.

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Speaker 1: Well, the reason I was so anxious as the deadline

399
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Speaker 1: approach is because I know how easy it is to

400
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,600
Speaker 1: forget things like RSVPs when you have ADHD any other rhymes.

401
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,320
Speaker 1: I reminded him every time I remembered it was due,

402
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 1: but after we agreed he'd be responsible for his I

403
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 1: eventually stopped reminding him and then forgot about it completely.

404
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 1: For those asking why his cousin just can't add one

405
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,960
Speaker 1: more person, she definitely can, but she made it clear

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00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 1: to him that it would involved several extra steps and

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00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,840
Speaker 1: possibly an additional fee since the deposit is based on

408
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 1: a percentage of the total. It's more about her having

409
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 1: to deal with older people and people overseas not rcping,

410
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 1: than adding them last minute. She's trying to ensure her parents,

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00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 1: the groom's parents, and immediately family members are all factored

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Speaker 1: into the equation. When she checked the RSVP lists, my

413
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 1: husband's RSVP automatically showed up as no. On her end

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00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,000
Speaker 1: because he missed the deadline. So it's like, hey, because

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00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 1: he didn't fill it out, the website just pas it

416
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 1: as no and didn't realize it was in oversight. For

417
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 1: those saying that I should have told the cousin exactly

418
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,160
Speaker 1: what happened, I did exactly as it happened. She didn't

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Speaker 1: believe me. And for those also suggesting that I remind

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Speaker 1: him that I'm not his mom, I did and he agreed.

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00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 1: He told me he would handle it himself. For those

422
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 1: asking if he does this a lot or if he

423
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 1: has other redeeming qualities and this is just a one

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00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 1: off thing. He has ADHD and he is so forgetful,

425
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,680
Speaker 1: but so am I. There are things he excels at

426
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,679
Speaker 1: that I struggle with. For example, my ADHD sometimes causes

427
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,359
Speaker 1: me to forget that I left things on or open.

428
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,119
Speaker 1: It could be something simple like leaving the microwave or

429
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 1: a fridge door open, or something more dangerous like leaving

430
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 1: the stove on. This got worse for me after having kids.

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00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,480
Speaker 1: There are definitely a few times when he picks up

432
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,920
Speaker 1: my slack just as I pick up his. We both

433
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,399
Speaker 1: understand that sometimes we can't help it and try not

434
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 1: to judge each other for it. He absolutely has it

435
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,640
Speaker 1: redeeming qualities. So, for instance, he works from home during

436
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 1: the week, and this is on top of the kid's

437
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 1: school stuff and doctor's appointments. He's the primary parent for

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00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 1: those responsibilities. That takes such a low off because he's

439
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 1: so good at it and our kids are his everything.

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00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 6: Wow, it's gotta be hard to do that with ADHD.

441
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 3: When your your your work life, your private life, or

442
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,360
Speaker 3: your work life or your personal life, and your family

443
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,720
Speaker 3: life are all taking place in the exact same area.

444
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 1: It's a lot.

445
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 2: It's a lot. And I like the.

446
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,560
Speaker 1: I like her. You know they're giving it up and

447
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 1: and it's it's it seems like they do have a

448
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 1: true partnership. You know they're helping each other with their

449
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,160
Speaker 1: strengths and weaknesses.

450
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 2: I like it.

451
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:26,919
Speaker 1: I like it.

452
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 2: Well.

453
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 1: When we got pregnant, we made a pack to use

454
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 1: all the attention we have, despite our attention deficit, every

455
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 1: last downs to put our kids first and ourselves last.

456
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,720
Speaker 1: He's held up his end of that bargain. Unfortunately. I

457
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,919
Speaker 1: love him with all my heart and he is a

458
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,200
Speaker 1: good partner most of the time. Most of the time

459
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 1: I'm not babying him, and he's perfectly rational, but sometimes

460
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: he just has his moments. This is one of those moments.

461
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: And you can have one of those moments there, I say,

462
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,480
Speaker 1: a good moment when you realize that you can listen

463
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,959
Speaker 1: to full episodes with stories just like this on our podcast.

464
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,679
Speaker 1: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or your favorite podcast

465
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,239
Speaker 1: platform and search Okay storytime and it'll be right there,

466
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 1: full episodes for you.

467
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 5: You know, I really like the way that you're talking

468
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,360
Speaker 5: right now.

469
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,560
Speaker 1: I don't like the way that you're talking. But Dakota,

470
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,680
Speaker 1: before we get into we have we have more of

471
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 1: the story. I feel like this is a case of

472
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 1: it is what it is. Yeah, seems like they have

473
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 1: a good partnership. It was an honest mistake, he has

474
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,440
Speaker 1: ADHD Everyone we all have our faults. Yeah, we all

475
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,240
Speaker 1: slip up sometimes. It just happened to be a slip

476
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 1: up with the wedding.

477
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 3: What it sounds like he was just wound up in

478
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 3: that moment where it's like that she even thinking about

479
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,360
Speaker 3: doing the RSVP right now is going.

480
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 5: To make my brain explode. I can't do it.

481
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 6: It's I could.

482
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 3: Just do it right now, Like I literally going to

483
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,720
Speaker 3: curl up into a ball and stop existing if I

484
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 3: even try.

485
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,160
Speaker 6: To sign that rsup right now.

486
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,640
Speaker 1: It's trying no reason, trying to make the perfect playlist,

487
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 1: you know, it's yeah, trying to have the perfect advice

488
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 1: for a wedding. I mean, hey, that's tole Oder.

489
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 5: And then the rat brain probably just took over and

490
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 5: he just forgot and.

491
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 3: Probably thought about it at one point where it was

492
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 3: entirely inconven and he is not anywhere nearby the place

493
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 3: where he could even do it.

494
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 5: That's what when I forget stuff like that, That's how

495
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:05,439
Speaker 5: it happens to me.

496
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 3: It's like I'll be somewhere else and I'll be like, oh, yeah,

497
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,120
Speaker 3: that thing I can do, that's like on the other

498
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 3: side of town right now, that I forgot to do

499
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 3: two days ago. Like I can't do it right now

500
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,880
Speaker 3: because I'm not there, Like, but I should do it later.

501
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 1: Okay, let's finish this real quick. So for those saying

502
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: I should let him go in place with the kids

503
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: and take the day for myself, That's exactly what I'm

504
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 1: gonna do. For those suggesting I show him this post,

505
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 1: I did. But even before I did, he had already

506
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 1: apologized for snapping at me. He was frustrated and embarrassed

507
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 1: and unfortunately took it out on me. I've done the

508
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: same to him before we both mess up, but he

509
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: came to the conclusion on his own that he should

510
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,119
Speaker 1: have taken care of it and not blamed me. He's

511
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 1: sorry and is making it up by buying me something

512
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,199
Speaker 1: expensive this week. Can't wait, lil, And we have a

513
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 1: few quick comments. Comment number one, not the a hole.

514
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 1: Why do women have to bear the burden of remembering

515
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 1: to remind their partners? Can we tasked true facts on

516
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 1: top of everything else involved in managing a household? This

517
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 1: typically is defined as nagging quote unquote infuriating. Comment number two,

518
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: not the a hole. Your hus is an adult. He

519
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: made a decision for himself, despite the many reminders and nagging.

520
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: If he can't attend, it's his fault and should own

521
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 1: up to his mistake and not hold you accountable for it,

522
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: which he did at the end. Sorry, he's behaving like

523
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 1: a man child. I hope this is an isolated issue

524
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 1: and not that he pushes the issue at his convenience

525
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: and then blames you for his lack of self awareness.

526
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 1: Coming number three, Let the man maybe deal with his

527
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 1: consequences on his own way way, way you reminded him

528
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 1: multiple times, and he was sniffy about it. You're his wife,

529
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: not a secretary, not his event planner. Coming number four,

530
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: What are you supposed to have done? He told you

531
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: not to do it. This seems to be a situation

532
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 1: where you cannot win. Sorry, he's a booty about stuff

533
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 1: like this. I'm sure he has some good redeeming qualities,

534
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 1: but this must be quite the pain in the booty.

535
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 5: Indeed, But look at that brilliant resolution though. Honestly it's like, yeah,

536
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 5: I don't know. He definitely was annoying, but I'm annoying too,

537
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 5: and he can just take it.

538
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 3: I'll have the day to myself and he can go

539
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 3: to the wedding that he wants to go do way

540
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 3: more than me, and they'll take the kids.

541
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 1: As long as And it seems like OPI wasn't like

542
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 1: like if OP felt more strongly or feelings were more hurt,

543
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,120
Speaker 1: which you know, hey, we all got feelings too, that's okay.

544
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 1: But I really liked the place that we ended at.

545
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: Op acknowledged his stuff. He apologized and acknowledged his stuff,

546
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 1: and OPI said, hey, take my place in the wedding

547
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 1: so you can see your cousin and happily ever after.

548
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like it's a great little microcosm of like.

549
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 3: I caught my wife's friends talking about her a fair

550
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 3: partner in a group chat, so I punted her out.

551
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 5: Go Yeah, that's a field goal. Background. My wife is

552
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 5: an avid skier.

553
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 3: She tries to ski every chance she gets, which is

554
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 3: often multiple times a week. I'm very supportive of this,

555
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 3: and it seems like a good way for her to

556
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 3: relieve stress and generally makes her happier. By the way,

557
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 3: this comes from skiing Wife Throwaway and if you want

558
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go do it at the

559
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime subrendant. She's made multiple close friendships

560
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 3: through this hobby, male and female, and some weekends they

561
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 3: take ski trips to resorts out of town. A ski sometimes,

562
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 3: but I'm not an enthusiast, and this group wants to

563
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 3: tackle a lot of challenging runs that I'm not capable

564
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 3: of at my current skill level. Also, in the off season,

565
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 3: they do other activities to maintain their fitness. None of

566
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 3: this has ever been a problem until recently. A few

567
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 3: months ago, my wife went trail running with a guy

568
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 3: forty five male named Josh, who was new to the group.

569
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 3: I didn't know she was going alone until after she

570
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 3: came back. I found that a little unusual since she

571
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 3: usually goes with a couple of her girlfriends and maybe

572
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 3: one other guy. Also, she had never really done this

573
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 3: activity before. The next thing that happened I thought was

574
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 3: unusual was when she had the VID and was isolating

575
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 3: from me.

576
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 6: He wanted to.

577
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 3: Watch a movie on Amazon Prime, and I told her

578
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 3: to bring me her laptop so I could take care

579
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 3: of the two factor authentication stuff. When I was using

580
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 3: her laptop, she seemed cagy and agitated and was hovering

581
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 3: a little too close to me, considering we were supposed

582
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 3: to be isolating. At this time, I noticed she was

583
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 3: looking at a love horoscope for her sign and Josh

584
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 3: in one of her recently closed tabs. That didn't sit

585
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 3: right with me, and I was stewing about it. My

586
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 3: wife noticed and asked why I was upset, so I

587
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 3: confronted her.

588
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 6: He told me the.

589
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 3: Horoscope thing was just a curiosity and that she looks

590
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 3: it up for other people as well. I find this

591
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 3: hard to believe. She offered me her phone to look

592
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 3: through her messages, and I went through them. There were

593
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 3: a lot of messages for a chain text that started

594
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,439
Speaker 3: only a couple of months ago, probably more than we

595
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 3: exchanged in the same period, mostly her sending him memes

596
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 3: and friendly back and forth. To me, it seemed excessive

597
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 3: and it looked like she was going out of her

598
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 3: way to keep a conversation going with Josh. It was

599
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 3: also a provocative exchange that she made that went something

600
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 3: like this, Josh, I would do bad things for some

601
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 3: lasagna wife.

602
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 5: Oh like what, Josh, I don't know, like steal it wife.

603
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 5: That's not what I was thinking. That's what I get

604
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 5: when my mind is in the gutter. Josh an emoji.

605
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 5: I'm not sure what it is.

606
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 6: Josh sent an emoji to me.

607
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 3: This looks like an unsuccessful attempt by her to escalate

608
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 3: the conversation.

609
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 6: But Josh, to his credit, that doesn't bite.

610
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 3: When I saw this, I pointed it out, and she

611
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 3: took blame for it and said she shouldn't have sent that.

612
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 3: I'm shaking and very upset by all of this. My

613
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,239
Speaker 3: wife claims he's just one of the girls, and she

614
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 3: isn't attracted to him because he's short and he's just

615
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 3: a good friend. All of this reminded me of an

616
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 3: emotional affair slash spacid texting situation that I went through

617
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 3: with my wife ten years ago. We've been married for

618
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: twenty We got through that, and I was hoping it

619
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 3: was behind us. In response to this, I set up

620
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 3: two boundaries. No more one on one events with Josh

621
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 3: and avoid the one on one texting. There's not usually

622
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: a reason to text one on one when the same

623
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 3: type of content can be shared in a group text.

624
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 3: The next week, she said two of her girlfriends canceled

625
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 3: on an event and she asked if it was okay

626
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,199
Speaker 3: if she went alone with Josh. I told her, obviously not,

627
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 3: because that was a boundary I set, and she was

628
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 3: annoyed with me for saying no. She met with her therapist,

629
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 3: and her therapist largely agreed with my point of view.

630
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 3: She seemed to be less annoyed with me after that.

631
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: I have been often on depressed about all of this,

632
00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 3: and during that she would ask me if there was

633
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,439
Speaker 3: anything you could do.

634
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 6: I just asked her to follow the boundaries I've set.

635
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 3: Cut to this last week, I asked her to check

636
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 3: in on the boundaries, I said. She admitted to texting

637
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 3: with Josh again, and I asked to see her phone.

638
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 3: There was a gap in the texting, but there were

639
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 3: six or seven consecutive days again with a lot of texting. Again,

640
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 3: it's just benign texting, but it just seems kind of unnecessary.

641
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: I don't think you need three days around Christmas to

642
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,479
Speaker 3: text Merry Christmas and start a conversation. I don't think

643
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 3: you need to tell your single guy friend good night.

644
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 3: In the evening, she says that she was just giving

645
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 3: him a resource for some technical safety here, and she

646
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 3: started doing it again. I'm very upset again, and I

647
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 3: tell her she was ignoring a clearly set boundary. I'm

648
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 3: not sure how we get past this as a couple.

649
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 3: I find it really disrespectful and hurtful that she ignored

650
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 3: this boundary, especially when she saw what it.

651
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 6: Was doing to me. I found it very cruel.

652
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 3: I talked to her about blocking contact with this person

653
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 3: and ending the friendship so that we could move on.

654
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 3: Considering that she already violated a clearly set boundary, I

655
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 3: felt the need to escalate. She seemed open to that initially,

656
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 3: but was indignant about it later on. I've asked her

657
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 3: to apologize for ignoring the boundary. And disrespect me and

658
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 3: the marriage, promise she won't do it again and outline

659
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 3: some steps to ensure it won't happen again. She seems

660
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 3: to think I'm setting up an ultimatum on friendship. But

661
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 3: I just want to path forward I can be comfortable with.

662
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 3: She says she wasn't doing this to be cruel. She

663
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 3: doesn't seem at all sorry to me. She says she

664
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 3: has a deep connection with Josh, but again they're just friends.

665
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 5: The deep connection with Josh is so fishy to me. Yeah,

666
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 5: I want some lasagna bad.

667
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 6: What would you do for it?

668
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, I don't know.

669
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 3: Steal maybe in the gutter, and like if it was

670
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 3: like he asked it as a question, like is that

671
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:33,880
Speaker 3: the right one?

672
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 2: What?

673
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 5: I guess I would steal.

674
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 4: Things on you?

675
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 7: I guess yeah, It's like what I wasn't that was

676
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 7: like a one liner bit.

677
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 4: I didn't want to continue that.

678
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, she doesn't want to end the friendship because she

679
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 3: says she'll be outside the core group of enthusiasts at

680
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 3: the activities that they've set up. My position is that

681
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 3: my wife is acting inappropriately and disregarding my feelings by

682
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 3: ignoring the boundary I believe my wife loves me, but

683
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 3: I also think she has a crush on this guy

684
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 3: and is kind of acting on it and downplaying it.

685
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 5: Am I overre acting? Am I being unreasonable? What should

686
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 5: I do?

687
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 6: There's another thing.

688
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 5: Here's the funny part.

689
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 3: Before the rest, I had her read the original post

690
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 3: to show how it looked to everyone. Her palms started

691
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 3: to get so sweaty it left a stain on the laptop.

692
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 3: She didn't have a lot to say about it except wow,

693
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: this is a lot to process. We set up a

694
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 3: counseling appointment to work on things. The working solution we

695
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 3: had was that she would tell me when they texted

696
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: each other. My wife was following through with that, and

697
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 3: I thanked her every time. I also told her if

698
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 3: she slipped up in some way, to just acknowledge it,

699
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 3: not delete messages and all that. The counseling session was

700
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 3: a name. The counselor seemed like he was on autopilot

701
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 3: and just wanted to get to the Gottman books. We

702
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 3: set up a couple of future appointments. She had a

703
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 3: work trip coming up. We went skiing the day before

704
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,479
Speaker 3: and I took her to the airport and kissed her goodbye.

705
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: I texted her from the time to time, and she

706
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: would send pictures of the things she was seeing, but

707
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 3: seemed a little unresponsive. I figured she was just busy

708
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 3: with everything going on, or maybe she's busy with Lasagna boy.

709
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 5: She never called me or our daughter. She would say

710
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 5: she was taking a bath.

711
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 3: At the end of the night, I picked her up

712
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: from the airport and brought her home, and she seemed distant.

713
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 5: I had to ask for a hug.

714
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 3: She went skiing the next day, so things were feeling weird,

715
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 3: and I checked the phone bill and lo and behold,

716
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 3: she called Josh for an hour one night, and then

717
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 3: he called her two other nights for a couple of hours.

718
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 5: I checked her Facebook.

719
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 3: The messages from her friends were talking about how he

720
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 3: tried to kiss her at some point, but they hadn't

721
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 3: cut him out of the group in any way. Also,

722
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 3: one of her friends told her to delete messages and

723
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 3: call logs before coming home, as I might check them. Ugh,

724
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 3: these are all garbage people, yeah, gross, gross, gross, Just

725
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 3: a bunch of dirty, stinky banana peel people. I put

726
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 3: her stuff in garbage bags and told her off. When

727
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 3: she got home, I told her she was a cheater

728
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 3: and the guy was a cheater, and that they deserved

729
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 3: each other. She didn't have much to say because she

730
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: couldn't even come up with a bad lie, filled her

731
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 3: car up and left. I'm astonished at how morally bankrupt

732
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 3: she is and her friends are as well. I've met

733
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: these people. They know who I am and that I'm

734
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 3: a decent guy. I just can't imagine encouraging someone to

735
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 3: hide im moral behavior, truly. I asked her from the

736
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 3: start of this mess if she wanted to exit the relationship,

737
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 3: and she said she wanted to work things out.

738
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 5: She saw how much pain it was causing.

739
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 6: Me, and she kept doing it.

740
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 5: You think you know people.

741
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 3: I believe she was playing me and the guy off

742
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 3: of each other, hinting to him that our relationship wasn't

743
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 3: solid and maybe someday they could be a couple, while

744
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 3: also trying to reconcile with me. She is a narts

745
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 3: and this was feeding her ego. And by the way,

746
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 3: you can feed our ego bye listening to full episodes

747
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 3: and stories like this.

748
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 2: Although we're not narcisists.

749
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 3: All you have to do is go to Spotify or

750
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: have a podcast or wherever you get podcasts.

751
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 6: From and search.

752
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 3: Okay, storytime and you can have the time of your

753
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 3: life listening to all the good advice in the world

754
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 3: given goofily, and we do have a little bit of

755
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 3: the story left. Honestly, I mean, are you on team

756
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 3: I mean I'm on team divorce.

757
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

758
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 7: I mean it's interesting because it's like the thing together

759
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,959
Speaker 7: for twenty years, and I know that that changes your

760
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 7: relationship and like you know, obviously you're like more committed

761
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 7: and stuff, but like I don't know, I've just I've

762
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 7: just heard that, like marriage is just like different in

763
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 7: how you approach problems like this, Like you're a little

764
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 7: more you've been together for so much longer, you're a

765
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 7: little more committed to each other. So like it's possible

766
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 7: for some of these things to be like overlooked again

767
00:30:58,520 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 7: or you know, not overlooked.

768
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 4: So it just like worked through, I guess.

769
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

770
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, it just doesn't feel like they're gonna come to

771
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 7: a solution this way, you know, Like it just doesn't

772
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 7: because he might not be the only one.

773
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 4: Like this could be.

774
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, I was ten years ago, the last one that

775
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 7: we knew about, but maybe.

776
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 4: There was other stuff since then. Yeah, and this is

777
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 4: the one time that she found out.

778
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 3: That's the problem is it calls things like this, call

779
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 3: the entire relationship into question. It makes it like how

780
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 3: long have you been doing this? And then you go,

781
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 3: oh it never, this is the first time, and it's like, well,

782
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 3: guess what. I can't trust you or believe you anymore. Yes,

783
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 3: you've just been lying to me behind my back. Let's

784
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 3: finish this story the short term because I'm stressed and

785
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 3: it's hurting my ability to sleep. Sorry if some of

786
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 3: this doesn't make sense, I know I'll be better off

787
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 3: in the long run, but it does right now.

788
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 6: And that's true.

789
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 3: It's pretty lame that she gets to shack up with

790
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: this dirt bag, and I probably won't feel like dating

791
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 3: for years anyway. Once a cheater, always a cheater, Trust

792
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 3: your gut. I should have told her to f off

793
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 3: a long time ago. Hope I don't get destroyed in

794
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 3: the divorce and that is the end of that story. Wow,

795
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 3: I have a feeling unsus You're in like one of

796
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 3: those countries that I guess just doesn't see cheating as

797
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 3: a as an impacting force in a divorce, like.

798
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 7: Makes divorce very difficult or something that you should probably

799
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 7: get davorable treatment.

800
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 5: I would hope, yeah, yeah, but ope.

801
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 6: You are going to be better off in the long run.

802
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 6: You are going to be better off in the long run.

803
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 6: That does bring us to the end of that story.

804
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here. Bring it back

805
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,680
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806
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Speaker 2: My conservative family keeps trying to control what I wear.

807
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808
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Speaker 2: forty one female. Have always been a chesty woman. Since

809
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Speaker 2: I was thirteen, I have been a double D cup.

810
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Speaker 2: That's bit. I'm pretty sure big polycystic. Follow the oss. Uh,

811
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,120
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812
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Speaker 2: weight gain, and a rapid growth of facial hair during puberty. Whoa,

813
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814
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815
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816
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 2: discovering an OVERI insists the size of a softball, which

817
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 2: was removed. I went from being flat chested to looking

818
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: like an adult film star over a few months. I

819
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 2: can't help but develop so quickly. Are they still growing

820
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 2: past the double d's anyway? My mother and father thought

821
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 2: they could try and hide it with turtlenecks and baggy clothes.

822
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 2: While other teens were cute outfits. I looked like I

823
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 2: wanna be nun covered from head to toe to hide

824
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 2: my body. As I grew up, it got worse. I

825
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: got asked to dances and my parents would buy me

826
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 2: dresses that covered me from the neck to the toes.

827
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: I swear my claustrophobia was at an all time high

828
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: living in that house. Because of all this, I also

829
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 2: develop depression off At this point, I didn't care what

830
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 2: I looked like and ate a lot to cope with

831
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: everything that was going on in my life and mind.

832
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 2: I gained weight, a lot of it, and of course

833
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 2: that was just another thing for my parents to complain about.

834
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 2: Fast forward to now, I'm all grown up and living

835
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 2: on my own. For the past twenty years, I've worked

836
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 2: on myself and my mental health to the point I

837
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 2: lost one hundred and eighty two pounds.

838
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: Who dang empressient.

839
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 2: I went from a size twenty six to a size

840
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 2: ten to twelve, depending on the style of clothing, and

841
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 2: got my hormones in check. You'd think my family would

842
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 2: be happy for me. Right wrong. I got invited to

843
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: my cousin's wedding a couple months ago. I went out

844
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 2: and bought a dress for the occasion, because why not.

845
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 2: I never buy things for myself, and I wanted to

846
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 2: feel good on this day. I bought a beautiful blush

847
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 2: pink dress with a sweetheart neckline and two to three

848
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: sleeves with a lace overlay on top side like a

849
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 2: beautiful dress. It was the prattiest thing ever and only

850
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: showed a little bit.

851
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: It's like this, and then you have the lace covering

852
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 4: as well.

853
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're just saying, like a little bit. As

854
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 2: soon as I walked into the venue, my mother and

855
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 2: father waved me over to their seats so I could

856
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: sit with them. As soon as I sit down, my

857
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 2: father decided it would be the perfect time to tell

858
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 2: me that while I looked nice, it would be better

859
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 2: if I could cover up with a rap or something.

860
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 2: I looked at my mother and she was clutching her

861
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 2: imaginary pearls and instantly agreed with my father, like me,

862
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 2: showing an inch or two of cleavage was the end

863
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 2: of the world. I ignore them because I was raised

864
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: better than to raise my voice in church and After

865
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 2: the ceremony, I walked away and didn't say a word. Yeah.

866
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 2: I congratulated my cousin and her husband on the way out,

867
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 2: about to head to the reception. As soon as I

868
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 2: got in my car with the love of my life,

869
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 2: I heard my phone blowing up with texts. I glanced

870
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 2: at the screen ensampled my father, mother, and even my

871
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: sister texting me options of wraps I could borrow for

872
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 2: the reception. I sighed and said I didn't need one

873
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 2: because it was eighty four degrees and I was already

874
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,479
Speaker 2: sweating in what I had on. They all responded with, well,

875
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: if your new out address yourself, then we wouldn't have

876
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 2: to help you. That's when I lost it. I texted back,

877
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 2: you all realize I am forty one years old. I

878
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: can dress myself, right. I know, me being big chested

879
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,320
Speaker 2: must be so bad for you. Since I'm the one

880
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 2: who has to live with them and have lived with

881
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 2: them for over twenty years, I like how they're like

882
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 2: little roommates.

883
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 4: I've been living with them. You don't know what it's like.

884
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,280
Speaker 2: I need to charge them rent for being up here.

885
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 2: This is my body and I will wear what I

886
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 2: want where I want stop trying to police my outfits.

887
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 2: You witched and blame me when I was heavier, and

888
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 2: now that I feel good in my own skin, you

889
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 2: want to tear me down more. I'm done. I will

890
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 2: see you at the reception, and if any of you

891
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: try to cover me up or to save face, I

892
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 2: will not hesitate to cut you all off. Yes, I

893
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 2: turned my phone off and had my boyfriend drive us

894
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 2: to the reception. He was so proud of me for

895
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 2: standing up to my parents that we might have taken

896
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 2: a detour to a secluded beach and made out for

897
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: an hour. Okay, oh pete. Anyway, once we got to

898
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 2: the reception, my cousin and aunt pulled me aside and

899
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,919
Speaker 2: scolded me for sending my parents the message I sent.

900
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 2: I explained to them that they have been policing my

901
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 2: clothing for decades and I'm done with it. I'm an

902
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: adult and can decide what's appropriate and what's not. My

903
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 2: aunt understood, but my cousin said she isn't taking sides,

904
00:37:55,480 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: and which wish I hadn't started drama on her day. Okay, wait, pause,

905
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 2: this is ridiculous. Pausing right here, pausing right here. It's

906
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 2: at a wedding the cousin. The cousin's wedding, is OP

907
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:12,959
Speaker 2: at all the a hole for pushing back like on

908
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: that day, No.

909
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 4: Because they kept harassing her. And also this wasn't it

910
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 4: wasn't like they were in front of everyone and OPI

911
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 4: was like, wow, this is a text.

912
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 2: And also text there is there's the issue of placing

913
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 2: blame on the wrong party exactly. Don't place blame on

914
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: OP setting a boundary with their parents being like, Hey,

915
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna wear what I want. I'm an adult woman.

916
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 2: Place blame if you're gonna place blame on anyone on

917
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 2: the parents being like, yeah, cover up.

918
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 4: Child, because I'm assuming the parents came up to the

919
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,399
Speaker 4: cousin was and we're like, oh, p well cut her up,

920
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 4: and we're like complaining or something, and that's how the

921
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 4: cousin found.

922
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: Out the cousin should be like, shut up, shut this

923
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: is my.

924
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 4: Day, wedding day. I don't care. That's what should have happened.

925
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 2: My aunts understand, but my cousin said she isn't taking

926
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 2: sides and wished I hadn't started drama on her day.

927
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 2: I told my cousin if she was so concerned with

928
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 2: drama and maybe she needed to go talk to my

929
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 2: parents and tell them. You stop telling people how I

930
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:15,720
Speaker 2: upset them.

931
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, just said that's what I am. Sam just said,

932
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 4: So Reddit, am I the a hole?

933
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 2: I want to know from all of y'all here with

934
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 2: us in the room right now. Do you believe Opie

935
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: is in the the a hole in any way? And

936
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 2: also like, what should Ope do from here? Is there anything?

937
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 2: Is there anything that can be done?

938
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 4: I think you just told your cousin you said, well,

939
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 4: I think OPI kind of already did. But you say, like,

940
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 4: I don't want to talk about this because it's your

941
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 4: wedding day. We'll talk about later.

942
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, leave at that.

943
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 4: And then you say to your parents, you block them,

944
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 4: you say, stop talking to me.

945
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also stop talking to the cousins.

946
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,479
Speaker 4: Stop talking to the cousins, stop talking to me, shut

947
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,280
Speaker 4: your mouth, and enjoy the day.

948
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 2: We got some edits, we got some up so let's

949
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 2: get into it at it. Some people in the comments

950
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 2: were shocked about the dress color choice, which was what

951
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 2: I think it was, pink. The theme was two shades

952
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 2: of pink. Just envisioned the wedding scene from Steel Magnolia's

953
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: a blush pink and a dusty rose shade of pink.

954
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 2: And to add my aunt, who also had polycystic ovarian

955
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 2: syndrome and was rather a large chest to herself before

956
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:29,280
Speaker 2: she got a reduction, finally understood where I was coming from.

957
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 2: My mother was even wearing the same shade of pink

958
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: as me, so the cousin was not mad about the

959
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 2: pink color. She was just upset that I upset my

960
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 2: parents and sister. The only other person who was on

961
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: my side and didn't see it as a problem see

962
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 2: a problem with my outfit was my brother. The rest

963
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 2: of the reception, my brother and boyfriend were playing defense,

964
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 2: keeping my parents and sister away from me the rest

965
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 2: of the night. Everyone else, now I'm questioning the dress then, like, well, no,

966
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 2: I think everyone like it is either.

967
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 6: The dress or they are around similar people like her parents.

968
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 2: I feel I feel like she's getting like punished for

969
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 2: for for just having a different body a little bit.

970
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,919
Speaker 2: But I also like, I'm like, like, what possibly could

971
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 2: this dress be that it's upsetting this entire gathering.

972
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 4: I think she just literally just has a different body type,

973
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 4: and they all, yeah, they're all hate.

974
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 2: Well yeah potentially, but like and Annie says like, if

975
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 2: no one is on her side, I like, I'm like,

976
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 2: I'm like now, I'm like, I'm like, okay, Like what's

977
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 2: before that?

978
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I may have misread it, but I was reading

979
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 4: it as no, like.

980
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 2: Oh none of her like core family. Yeah, let's get

981
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 2: into it. There's a whole other backstory behind why I

982
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 2: have a strained relationship with my family. But I'll probably

983
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 2: make an update on that at some point. I do

984
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,959
Speaker 2: want to discuss things with my family. I just don't

985
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 2: know how to start. I don't know if I should

986
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 2: go in, uh, shooters blazing or gently bring it up

987
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: so they don't feel like I'm attacking them. I just

988
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,280
Speaker 2: want my voice to be heard. And there is an updates.

989
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 2: Do we want to see the dress now or do

990
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: we want to go to the update give.

991
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 6: Us more context?

992
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's let's see. Let's see it.

993
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 4: But oh, come on, come.

994
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 2: On, that's literally below the knee.

995
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 4: That's like, oh my god, Wow, that is just so

996
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 4: much coverage.

997
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 2: That's a lot of coverage, so much coverage.

998
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 6: But didn't she say she has a double breast, double D, double.

999
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 4: D, double breath. Don't she said you had two.

1000
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 6: Moves double breasted compared to other women. Is that true?

1001
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:45,240
Speaker 4: She's not double breasted.

1002
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 6: It may look like she's double breasted compared to other women.

1003
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 2: Double breast didn't even mean.

1004
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 4: Unless unless they've lost one move.

1005
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1006
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,240
Speaker 2: I'm miss cha. Bird says double d is not that big?

1007
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 2: Isn't that? Is that not big?

1008
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 4: It's not that big?

1009
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 2: All right? But we got an update. So on Saturday,

1010
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 2: I contacted my brother and sister to talk about what

1011
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 2: happened a few months ago at the wedding. So this

1012
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 2: is the update. My sister was hesitant but agreed, and

1013
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 2: my brother was all in and said he'd be there.

1014
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 2: We met up at my sister's place and sat down.

1015
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 2: I started off the conversation by saying that I love

1016
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: my family and would never insult them in any way,

1017
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 2: but for a forty one year old woman to be

1018
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 2: reprimanded over a dress that wasn't even too revealing was ridiculous.

1019
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 2: My sister tried defending herself and my parents, but my

1020
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 2: brother put a stop to it right there. He mentioned

1021
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,280
Speaker 2: all the times mom, dad and her would always nitpick

1022
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 2: my outfits growing up, never allowing me the freedom to

1023
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 2: have my own personality or style. It wasn't about her,

1024
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 2: It was about me and how I feel. That shut

1025
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 2: her up. Well. All I wanted was for her to

1026
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 2: see how it feels for me, always being not when

1027
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 2: I have something good going on in my life, always

1028
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,399
Speaker 2: feel like a second class citizen in the family, never

1029
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 2: living up to their expectations, not wanting to be the

1030
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: dutiful daughter anymore, and wanting to make my own choices

1031
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: and live the life that I want and that doesn't

1032
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 2: include covering myself up from the neck down. My chest

1033
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 2: was no longer up for discussion. Tell you, if they

1034
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 2: can't be happy that I am still willing to be

1035
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 2: a part of the family, then so be it. And

1036
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 2: that goes for her as well. I laid it all out.

1037
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 2: If she can't support me, if she can't support me

1038
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: against my parents, then I would have to cut her

1039
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 2: out too. I also mentioned how being cut out of

1040
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 2: Christmas because of my stunt at the wedding was uncalled.

1041
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 6: She wore a normal dress and you want Christmas.

1042
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 1: As you would what.

1043
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1044
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 2: We saw the dress and it's like it feels very covered.

1045
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 2: It's not like a Kanye girl friend dress where it's

1046
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 2: completely race. Do you even want to be around this family,

1047
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 2: no question for all of you. Is this low contact

1048
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 2: or no contact.

1049
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 4: Kind of m I guess that's as op.

1050
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 2: I feel like you. I think, uh, putting your distance

1051
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 2: and checking in to see if they've changed their mind. Yeah,

1052
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 2: which is why I recommend low contact. But it really

1053
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 2: does seem that they're affecting your mental health. And like, agreed,

1054
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 2: you know, nothing's worth that agreed. I told her if

1055
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,919
Speaker 2: she wants to side with mom and Dad, that's fine,

1056
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 2: but I will no longer accept their talx behavior. We

1057
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 2: are all grown ups and should act that way. No

1058
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: more involving people and family drama. And she agreed. She

1059
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 2: said she would talk to Mom and Dad on my

1060
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: behalf because as of right now, I am blocked by them.

1061
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 2: By the way, you should never block us and listen

1062
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 2: to us twenty four to seven in your ears by

1063
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 2: going to our podcast okay, story time wherever you get

1064
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 2: your podcast. You can listen to us while you're doing

1065
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: other stuff. It's pretty great. Tons of other stuff, tons

1066
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 2: about the so. My brother, on the other hand, decided

1067
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 2: to be petty. He's planning a family Easter get together

1068
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,880
Speaker 2: and is going to invite everyone except my parents. He

1069
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 2: might go over there in the morning to see them

1070
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 2: and talk some sense to them, but he's not holding

1071
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,919
Speaker 2: his breath on them realizing their mistakes. So as right now,

1072
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 2: I have both siblings on my side, but we'll see

1073
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,839
Speaker 2: how long that lasts. If I blowout with my parents

1074
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 2: in the future, I'll update, But as of right now,

1075
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,920
Speaker 2: I guess this is all I can give, and that

1076
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: is where that story ends. But we got more for you.

1077
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 4: So much more for you. My parents demanded we skip

1078
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 4: my graduation ceremony for church that happens every Sunday. So

1079
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 4: I'm writing this because my college plans were uprooted at

1080
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 4: as of Sunday, June sixteenth, I'll be graduating this week

1081
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 4: and my ceremony is later this week. However, my church

1082
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 4: announced that they'll be doing their own graduation ceremony on

1083
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 4: July seventh, where they'll have church graduates walk down the

1084
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 4: aisle of the sanctuary during service to be recognized and

1085
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 4: receive prayer. And the pastor announced it on the sixteenth.

1086
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 7: Uh.

1087
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Throwa twenty three eighty one.

1088
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 4: And if you want to spent your own stories, go

1089
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 4: to our slash Ookey Storytime Separate it so according to

1090
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 4: my parents. He said it was important to make sure

1091
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 4: the next generation rooted their future in God, and the

1092
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 4: church will be having a barbecue after service in honor

1093
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 4: of the graduates. However, I haven't attended church since I

1094
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 4: was sixteen due to an incident I'll explain later, but

1095
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 4: my parents seem hell bent on making sure I attend

1096
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 4: not just the church graduation, but church from now on too,

1097
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 4: and they added strings to prior agreements that were never attached.

1098
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 4: Before the church graduation was announced, my parents agreed to

1099
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,359
Speaker 4: split tuition with me to attend a community college. Upon

1100
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 4: me finding a job this summer, I plan to transfer

1101
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 4: afterward to finish my bachelor However, however, after the announcement,

1102
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 4: my parents said they weren't going to attend my graduation

1103
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 4: and that I wasn't allowed to either a complete one

1104
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 4: to eighty out of nowhere. We even invited relatives to

1105
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,399
Speaker 4: attend from out of state, but my parents already told

1106
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 4: them to attend the church graduation instead, and I feel

1107
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 4: like they pulled the rug from under me when I

1108
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 4: said I still planned to attend my high school graduation

1109
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 4: with my friends, they threatened to rescind their offer to

1110
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 4: pay for college if I went and didn't come to

1111
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 4: the church one and I just felt blindsided by this.

1112
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 4: When I tried to explain how they changed their mind

1113
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 4: out of nowhere, they said that the pastor talked about

1114
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 4: how people lost their way in college by disregarding faith

1115
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 4: and morals, So they weren't going to pay for me

1116
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 4: to go and change because of worldly influences. Yes, when people.

1117
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 2: Learn learned about themselves and how they want to interact

1118
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 2: with the world, that identity and beliefs.

1119
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 4: But when I said that I would pay for tuition

1120
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,879
Speaker 4: myself without them if I find a job while still

1121
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 4: attending the high school graduation, they said they charged me

1122
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 4: rent starting in July, which is unfair because I've yet

1123
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 4: to find a job. So not only so, they said

1124
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 4: you have to pay for school, and you're like fine,

1125
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,839
Speaker 4: and they're like, well, you're also gonna have to pay

1126
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 4: for rent. So they're actively trying to make it life

1127
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 4: harder for you.

1128
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's because it's not actually about like the

1129
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 2: school or a rent, it's about control. They're literally just

1130
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 2: trying to control you.

1131
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 4: I've been applying like crazy these past few weeks, and

1132
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 4: I have a few interviews lined up too. They're just

1133
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 4: trying to make me return to church after I stopped

1134
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 4: attending two years ago, and I've been really frustrated with

1135
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 4: their flip flop. They've said they're doing this because they

1136
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 4: made mistakes in college before later finding God, and they

1137
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 4: didn't want me to make the same ones too. The

1138
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 4: last thing I'll add is this, I was bullied in

1139
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 4: that church in the past, and I reached my breaking

1140
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 4: point two years ago. The youth had a camp out

1141
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 4: on the grass buying the church, where I was hazed

1142
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 4: by this really annoying girl, and no one did anything,

1143
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 4: including the assistant and chaperone in our tents. There were

1144
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 4: stupid pranks that were made in good fun, but the

1145
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 4: most hurtful thing was when that one girl made jokes

1146
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,760
Speaker 4: and comments about my body and weight when we were changing.

1147
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 4: That really hurt, and our tent chaperone did nothing when

1148
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 4: I told her afterward because she wasn't in there as

1149
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 4: we changed. This is just one of many things with

1150
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 4: this girl during youth group when leaders weren't looking, but

1151
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 4: that was the most hurtful. However, to my surprise, my

1152
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 4: parents took my side and didn't make me attend youth

1153
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 4: group after that, and they let me stop attending for

1154
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 4: the most part, to my surprise. I miss how they

1155
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 4: were reasonable in the past and hope they can be

1156
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 4: reasonable again with me here. Most of my relatives are

1157
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 4: also churchgoers and have agreed to attend the church graduation instead,

1158
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 4: and I just need advice because it all happened so fast,

1159
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 4: and it especially hurts that they don't want to attend

1160
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 4: my high school graduation. Yeah, but why would they go

1161
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 4: to the church grad situation if you aren't going?

1162
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 2: It doesn't either they're going. You're supposed to go for

1163
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 2: these graduates? Who are you going for? If you're graduate?

1164
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 2: Is not going to be that.

1165
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 4: My friends are in high school and I don't consider

1166
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 4: anyone in our church's youth group to be my friend,

1167
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 4: So of course I want to graduate with my friends.

1168
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 4: But I can't pay rent in July, as they're threatening

1169
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,399
Speaker 4: because it's just a few days away, and I need

1170
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,359
Speaker 4: advice on how to get through to them. All right,

1171
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 4: really is an update? I mean, realistically, if OP doesn't

1172
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 4: pay rent, what are they going to do? I guess

1173
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 4: it depends on how awful they are and how old

1174
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:33,919
Speaker 4: is OP presumably eighteen.

1175
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,320
Speaker 2: Eighteen or like could it be like seventeen going into eighteen.

1176
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 4: Well, they're about to graduate, So what are the.

1177
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:40,879
Speaker 2: Rules about kicking out your eighteen year old kid?

1178
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 4: I mean you can do it, unfortunately, but are can you?

1179
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 2: Yeah? You can kick out Those are like squatters rights,

1180
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 2: there's something you know like they should.

1181
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, all you eighteen year olds, you need to learn

1182
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: about squatters rights. But uh, we're going to get into

1183
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 4: this update. I was unable to update sooner due to

1184
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 4: my phone being taken away. Oh but I'll explain why.

1185
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 4: A few people suggested reaching out to some non religious

1186
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,400
Speaker 4: relatives to see if they could help or even provide

1187
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 4: shelter if they tried to throw me out, and I

1188
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 4: decided on my aunt after having no success with friends.

1189
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 4: I told my friends first about everything my parents threatened,

1190
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 4: but long story short, they talked to their parents, who

1191
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 4: were unable to take me in and they said it

1192
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 4: was last minute or mostly busy with their own things

1193
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 4: slash graduations too. I then tried my aunt and told

1194
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 4: her everything too, and she said I could stay with

1195
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 4: her soon, but not in time for my high school

1196
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 4: graduation because it was really short noted. She said I

1197
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 4: could at some point this summer and she wasn't initially

1198
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,399
Speaker 4: coming to my graduation because she lives on the other

1199
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 4: side of the country, but she said she would try

1200
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 4: to talk some sense into my parents, and that led

1201
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 4: to my phone being removed. My parents didn't like that

1202
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 4: I told her because it was none of our business.

1203
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 4: According to them, I don't know what was said on

1204
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 4: the call, and they threatened to turn off my phone

1205
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 4: plan unless I gave them my phone, and I caved

1206
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:01,919
Speaker 4: and they were yelling at me and gave it to them,

1207
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 4: along with my laptop they wanted to because they threatened

1208
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 4: to punt me out sooner than July for talking about

1209
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 4: them to my aunt because she could tell others.

1210
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 2: And now they're taking away ope's abilities to communicate, Yeah,

1211
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 2: to communicate with people and also get a job and

1212
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 2: have their again, this is all about control.

1213
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, obviously there's different family dynamics.

1214
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 4: But if I had like a friend or a family

1215
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 4: member who was telling me that, like their parents were

1216
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 4: taking away their ability to communicate and we're going to

1217
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:31,919
Speaker 4: kick them out, I'd be like, come as soon.

1218
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:35,239
Speaker 2: As possible, and here's my computer. Yeah, go on. I

1219
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 2: don't know. Indeed, look at some jobs right now.

1220
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 4: They also said that they'd put my stuff outside while

1221
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:42,840
Speaker 4: I was at the high school graduation if I attended.

1222
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:44,800
Speaker 5: Oh my god, they.

1223
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 4: Well, they wouldn't be at the church service sud so

1224
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 4: they would punt me out that night instead of their

1225
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 4: original threat to start charging me rent in July. So,

1226
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 4: for those reasons plus another, all say in a moment,

1227
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 4: I decided not to attend my high school graduation, oh

1228
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 4: because I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. Honestly, for

1229
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 4: your safety, I think that, unfortunately, is the best move. However,

1230
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 4: I think as soon as possible, you need to leave these.

1231
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:11,919
Speaker 5: Like get out of here.

1232
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 2: I think from this moment it's like, Okay, I'm going

1233
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 2: to do what you say right now. Yeah, But essentially

1234
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 2: you're the other kind of relationships like this. This is

1235
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:25,359
Speaker 2: a complete overstep. It's not fair. No Ah man Op,

1236
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 2: I feel bad for you. It sucks.

1237
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 4: I was already having anxiety about what they do to

1238
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,360
Speaker 4: my stuff while there, and I didn't want to be

1239
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 4: homeless when I returned. I also had a loss of

1240
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 4: motivation to do other things leading up to it, obvious,

1241
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 4: like sports, hanging out, or even watching TV. I knew

1242
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 4: I wouldn't enjoy it because I was already dreading it

1243
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,880
Speaker 4: before it happened, and my anxiety there would be worse

1244
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 4: than the lead up. I also didn't want to wear

1245
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 4: a smile the whole time with none of my family

1246
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 4: in attendance either, and I didn't think I could hide

1247
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 4: it emotionally either. I also decided to attend the church

1248
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 4: graduation to get it over with, and I radtionized it

1249
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 4: like I did with other things growing up. I was

1250
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 4: forced to go to youth group and kids choir growing up,

1251
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 4: and I was forced to be baptized too. This was

1252
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 4: no different. Just five minutes of the pastor calling all

1253
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,959
Speaker 4: graduates on stage to pray for them, and they didn't

1254
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 4: even give us a gift like on Mother's Day. Well,

1255
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 4: all my life, I've had to suck up things I

1256
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 4: hated at church, and the church graduation was less tedious

1257
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 4: than the pre baptism classes. They were mandatory. Okay, so

1258
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,959
Speaker 4: you probably got baptized folder because it was only five

1259
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 4: minutes on stage compared to the three weeks of baptism classes.

1260
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 4: Some relatives came, gave me money from cards, and we

1261
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 4: ate lunch at a restaurant afterward. Something we did when

1262
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 4: my dad was elected to a church position years ago

1263
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 4: and invited friends to see him get installed before lunch afterward.

1264
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 4: I'm pretty used to the song and dance, and this

1265
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 4: was easier slash shorter than other church bs. My parents

1266
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 4: also returned my phone after the church graduation, and a

1267
00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 4: lot of anxiety lessened when I decided to skip my graduation.

1268
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 4: Don't get me wrong, I'll always hate them for it,

1269
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 4: and I'm no longer accepting their help for college either,

1270
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,400
Speaker 4: which I think, unfortunately is the smartest thing.

1271
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want them to have like any kind

1272
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 2: of grip on you, But how do all right? I

1273
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 2: don't understand how a parent could just totally uh relinquish

1274
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 2: any desire to help their child, like to act to

1275
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 2: actively make your child suffer? Yeah, are you kidding?

1276
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 4: By the way, you know what else is okay? Listening

1277
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 4: to full episodes with stories just like this. Just go

1278
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 4: to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and

1279
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 4: search up okay story. Tom and I also didn't notice

1280
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 4: that we when did we get more time? But there

1281
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 4: is a little bit more to this story, so we're

1282
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,720
Speaker 4: gonna jump into it. I'm gonna find a job hopefully

1283
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 4: too if part time and try to move out over

1284
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 4: the summer if I can, and I won't talk to

1285
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 4: them again afterward because of their stress. I've decided to

1286
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 4: skip a once in a lifetime event to prioritize my

1287
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 4: mental health because I wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway with

1288
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 4: the stress. And the fact that they're happy with me

1289
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 4: for obeying as they gave my phone back should allow

1290
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 4: me to find jobs without additional stress. They also withdrew

1291
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 4: the July rent threat and everything's been peaceful since the

1292
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 4: church graduation, although I'll never forgive them for what they

1293
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 4: tried to do.

1294
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, use this as your moment to be self sufficient

1295
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:26,200
Speaker 2: because you don't want to be under their thumb like

1296
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 2: ever again.

1297
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 4: I also expect them to threaten me with something else

1298
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 4: in the future too, So I hope to move out

1299
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 4: as soon as possible, even if it means staying with

1300
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 4: my aunt until finding a job. I'm glad she said

1301
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 4: I could stay with her, and hopefully the time until

1302
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 4: I do remains peaceful. Also, if you need a little

1303
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:46,040
Speaker 4: extra income, maybe send out send out like a picture

1304
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 4: of yourself graduating to all my family.

1305
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 2: Parents are kicking me out, just say.

1306
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 4: Like, I graduated and then people send you graduation money?

1307
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 2: Did you do that?

1308
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 4: We'll be at a party, But I feel like you could.

1309
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 4: I mean, you could throw a party if you want,

1310
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 4: but you can also just be like I grad waited.

1311
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:04,840
Speaker 2: Ew O, good work? Oh man, op, this sucks. I mean,

1312
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 2: what what job do you get, like in college that

1313
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 2: could actually pay for.

1314
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 4: Well, you can become an ra and get yeah, subsidized housing.

1315
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you get subsidized housing and and.

1316
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 4: Like a food budget and stuff.

1317
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1318
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here og, host of the show. We're

1319
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 1: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

1320
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 1: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1321
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 2: My brother in law took advantage of my sister's grief,

1322
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 2: so I called him out.

1323
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 4: Call him out.

1324
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 2: Characters me female, my hobby, dear husband, my sister law LN,

1325
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 2: and my brother in law Larry Larry right, all of

1326
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 2: us are old enough to have our acts together and

1327
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 2: know how to be adults, or so you thinks. By

1328
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Sensitive Beat twenty four forty two,

1329
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1330
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 2: to our slash Okay story time Cuburty. So the problem

1331
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 2: is that Larry has been on substances and booze on

1332
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 2: and off for the past two years, and even when

1333
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 2: he's clean and sober, he's still a jerk. Do your

1334
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:08,560
Speaker 2: husband and I avoid him like the plague. Lynn is

1335
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 2: a super sweet sibling who's honestly too good for her

1336
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 2: own good and can't bear to tell anyone no tricky.

1337
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 2: She also has her own set of emotional and mental

1338
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 2: health issues, and Lynn is physically disabled to a certain extent,

1339
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:25,440
Speaker 2: so she's getting so she's a sitting duck for Larry

1340
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 2: to take advantage of. Larry sounds like the worst kind

1341
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 2: of person.

1342
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, Larry sounds pretty awful.

1343
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 2: A year ago, my elderly father in law, Dad was

1344
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 2: living with Lynn Or He was passing away from dementia

1345
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 2: and a bunch of other issues, and Lynn took more

1346
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 2: and more care of him. She ended up being his

1347
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:49,960
Speaker 2: full time nurse, but without pay. Larry moved in with

1348
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaker 2: them during the last eight months or so of Dad's

1349
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 2: life and proceeded to empty Dad's bank account each month,

1350
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 2: just spickaball. Oh my god. He had Dad's bank card

1351
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 2: and would help himself to the cash in the account

1352
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 2: whenever Dad's social Security money came through the worst kind

1353
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:14,479
Speaker 2: of people play on the young and elderly. Yeah, Lynn

1354
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 2: had her hands full with nursing Dad and didn't have

1355
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 2: the emotional or physical energy to deal with anything else,

1356
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,920
Speaker 2: So Larry pretty much did whatever he wanted. Of course,

1357
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 2: he contributed nothing to the household expenses. Dear husband and

1358
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 2: I refuse to come over to the house except for

1359
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 2: rare occasions. Then a year ago, Dad finally passed away.

1360
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 2: Lynn was the executor of the will and had to

1361
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 2: get the household. She also inherited all the possessions inside

1362
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 2: the house. We assumed we would help her get the

1363
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 2: house ready to sell and she would handle the estate stuff.

1364
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 2: But three months after Dad's death, nothing was happening. Lynn

1365
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 2: was struggling with depression and could barely even get out

1366
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 2: of bed, let alone start cleaning out the house or

1367
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 2: getting ready to sell. To make it worse, Larry started

1368
01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 2: digging your car and disappearing with it for days or

1369
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 2: even weeks at a time. Then he started committing petty

1370
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 2: crimes while in the car. Oh my god, driving off

1371
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 2: without paying for gas, running red lights, shoplifting. The car

1372
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 2: ended up being impounded in a neighboring state. Larry stayed

1373
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:24,240
Speaker 2: in jail overnight and then called Lynn asking him to

1374
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 2: help him get back home. The audacity my helping and

1375
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 2: I finally had enough put your foot freaking down. I'm

1376
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: not a lawyer or a paralegal, but I work in

1377
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 2: a field that requires me to do a lot of

1378
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 2: things you have to do to settle in a state,

1379
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 2: So I feel confident in my ability to do what

1380
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 2: Lynn wasn't getting done. Picking up the slack and asked

1381
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 2: if she wanted me to help her with the estate,

1382
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 2: and she cried with relief and begged me to do

1383
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,439
Speaker 2: it because she just couldn't. The first thing I did

1384
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 2: was ask her if Larry was paying rent or contributing

1385
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 2: to the household expenses in any way. I mean, this

1386
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 2: is Larry, we're talking about Larry. She said no. I

1387
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 2: confirmed this with her several times and also made sure

1388
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 2: there was no lease agreement anywhere. Somehow Larry got back

1389
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 2: into the house. He took the other vehicle, one that

1390
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 2: belonged to my father in law, and drove off with it.

1391
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 2: With him gone, my hubby and I changed the lock

1392
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 2: from the house and left a note on the door

1393
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 2: telling him he was no longer welcome in the house

1394
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 2: and we waited.

1395
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 4: Larry's loud come in, you're not allowed, Larry.

1396
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 2: Three days later, Larry came back to the house and

1397
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 2: found the note. He was bits. He came back with

1398
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 2: the police. What Larry controls the police. I came back

1399
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 2: with the police and got Lynn to say that yes,

1400
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 2: he was living there and had been paying rent. So

1401
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 2: the police told her that she had to let him

1402
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 2: back in, and everything went back to normal, except now

1403
01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 2: Larry was taking off with the other car, which had

1404
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 2: belonged to Dad whenever he felt like it, and Lynn's

1405
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 2: car was still impounded who knows where. When we found out,

1406
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 2: dear husband and I confronted Larry and then Lynn, and

1407
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 2: that's when we found out that Larry did in fact

1408
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 2: pay for three months after Dad fell into eternal sleep.

1409
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 2: Lynn forgot about it. He gave Lynn cash each time,

1410
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:25,920
Speaker 2: and the cash did show up in her bank account.

1411
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,120
Speaker 4: Wait, so Lynn, that's a big thing to forget about it.

1412
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 2: Maybe Larry isn't such a devo. So that's what I did.

1413
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 2: I decided to treat him like a tenant while I

1414
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 2: behaved like a landlord, a mean and greedy but still

1415
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 2: legal landlord. It was time for maximum betty. I immediately

1416
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 2: wrote out a notice that Larry's rent was going up

1417
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 2: by ten percent, effective in thirty days, and by another

1418
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:52,480
Speaker 2: ten percent in sixty days, the maximum we can do

1419
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 2: by law in this state. I wrote out another notice

1420
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 2: that Larry's lease was terminated again to dig effect in

1421
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 2: sixty days. I knew he wouldn't leave in sixty days,

1422
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 2: so the rent increase was to make it more painful

1423
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 2: for him when he stayed past the termination date. Macon

1424
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 2: Larry squirm cast him out, cast him out. So I

1425
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 2: also notified him that from now on, all rents payments

1426
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 2: must be made by check or credit card, and I

1427
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 2: introduced him into the concept of late fees again to

1428
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 2: the maximum allowable mounts. I had Lynn sign these and

1429
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,840
Speaker 2: then I put them under the door of his room

1430
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 2: and videoed myself doing so. Since I was now basically

1431
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 2: the acting property manager, I also went through the house

1432
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 2: and started taking pictures of any paperwork that had been

1433
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 2: left out and open for view to only guess how

1434
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 2: dirty and messy the house was, with substance paraphernalia, just

1435
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 2: general mayhem everywhere. But the good news is that Larry

1436
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:52,240
Speaker 2: had left his mail open for viewing all over the place,

1437
01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 2: including all the legal notices for his many court cases.

1438
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 4: Larry, Larry, Larry.

1439
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 2: You thought you could run from the Larry Larry on

1440
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 2: the lamb. Oh, Larry, there's the devil.

1441
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:05,240
Speaker 6: He can do whatever he wants.

1442
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:08,160
Speaker 2: I took pictures of all of it and put all

1443
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 2: of the information in a spreadsheet for easier tracking. I

1444
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 2: now know where he was supposed to appear in court

1445
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:17,920
Speaker 2: and where, and Lynn would let me know if he

1446
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,200
Speaker 2: actually made his appearance or not. If he didn't, I

1447
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 2: was sure the relevant court would like to know where

1448
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,480
Speaker 2: he was. Oh, he's trying to snitch do it? And

1449
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 2: we got an update. So Larry is getting charged every

1450
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 2: penny I can legally come up with, but he's still

1451
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:34,959
Speaker 2: in the house. I give him notice after notice about

1452
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 2: the fees he's incurring, which will be deducted from his

1453
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 2: share of the estate. Ah. He refuses to read any

1454
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 2: of them, but I make sure he gets them anyway.

1455
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 2: Plus we know from all of his legal PaperWorks sitting

1456
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 2: around everywhere, that his driver's license is suspended. But he

1457
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,680
Speaker 2: is still taking Dad's car, which is part of the estate,

1458
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaker 2: and driving it wherever he darn pleases. It's a matter

1459
01:05:57,640 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 2: of time before he gets impounded to the money to

1460
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 2: get back would have to come out of his part

1461
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,800
Speaker 2: of the estate, so Larry is Larry is draining his

1462
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 2: estate too right now, fool.

1463
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 4: Run out of money, Larry, and then what will you do?

1464
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 2: We disabled the car by taking out the distributor cap

1465
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 2: and the battery, and because of my son as an

1466
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,320
Speaker 2: auto mechanic, he also takes a picture of the wiring

1467
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 2: in the car before completely undoing it. We can restore

1468
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:27,680
Speaker 2: it easily enough, but Larry would have to get a

1469
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 2: mechanic to figure out how to get the wiring back,

1470
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,040
Speaker 2: and he'd still have to get a new battery and

1471
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:35,600
Speaker 2: distributor cap. But just in case, we also took the

1472
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:38,320
Speaker 2: license plate off so that if he did manage to

1473
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:40,360
Speaker 2: get it started, he would get a lot of attention

1474
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 2: on the road. I just wish we could have seen

1475
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:45,240
Speaker 2: his face when he tried to start it and looked

1476
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:46,240
Speaker 2: under the hood.

1477
01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:50,000
Speaker 4: Breaking part your car so that Larry can't get into it.

1478
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,520
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes you'd got to take drastic measures when

1479
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 2: you got a guy like Larry infecting every area of

1480
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 2: your life. Okay, was just terrible lariness.

1481
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 4: Terrible lariness.

1482
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,160
Speaker 2: A couple months go by, and to make a long

1483
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:07,800
Speaker 2: story short, we managed to get the house under contract

1484
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 2: as is and Larry moves out Cynara. Larry go back

1485
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:15,280
Speaker 2: to When's Head. He rents a U haul to get

1486
01:07:15,280 --> 01:07:17,600
Speaker 2: his stuff out of the house, and then he is gone. Yay.

1487
01:07:18,040 --> 01:07:20,440
Speaker 2: But the week of closing, Larry comes back.

1488
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:21,400
Speaker 4: Now.

1489
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 6: No, just like the devil appears out of nowhere.

1490
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 2: Now he breaks in and trashes the house.

1491
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:30,240
Speaker 6: Larry.

1492
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 2: Not only that, but he shows up at the house

1493
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:39,760
Speaker 2: while the buyer is doing the final inspection as high

1494
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:40,440
Speaker 2: as a kite.

1495
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 5: No Larry.

1496
01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 2: The sale nearly falls through, but in the end the

1497
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 2: house closes, Thank god, Larry couldn't mess that up, and

1498
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 2: the money from it is added to the estate, which

1499
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 2: will be divided equally among three siblings. We have narrowly

1500
01:07:56,080 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 2: managed to avoid disaster, narrowly, but as we known from

1501
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 2: this story, Larry will find a way to mess things up.

1502
01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 2: With the proceeds from the house and some other assets,

1503
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:10,400
Speaker 2: it looks like each of the three siblings will get

1504
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:15,040
Speaker 2: around fifty thousand dollars atance.

1505
01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:16,080
Speaker 4: Not too shabby at all.

1506
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:18,679
Speaker 2: We just have to wait for the estate to close.

1507
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:22,599
Speaker 2: A couple more months go by and Larry is living

1508
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 2: in a trailer that a friend of mine is willing

1509
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:26,320
Speaker 2: to lease to him.

1510
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 4: Where's living Leavita Loca.

1511
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:30,679
Speaker 2: My friend doesn't see him for a couple of weeks,

1512
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:35,520
Speaker 2: but then suddenly state troopers show up on her property

1513
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:37,720
Speaker 2: wanting to know where Larry is.

1514
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,840
Speaker 4: Larry, Larry, Larry, look at you getting in trouble again.

1515
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:47,120
Speaker 2: Larry's got at least three stars GTA stars. They're looking

1516
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:48,479
Speaker 2: for Larry's. They're looking for.

1517
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:49,600
Speaker 5: Larry for Larry.

1518
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:55,360
Speaker 2: Actively turns out that he stole a U haul that

1519
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 2: he used to move out of my dad's house. My

1520
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:01,320
Speaker 2: friend calls and I end up on the phone with

1521
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:04,800
Speaker 2: the state trooper. Since I've been carefully documenting everything about

1522
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:07,280
Speaker 2: Larry for the past few months, I am able to

1523
01:09:07,320 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 2: tell him and the troopers some likely locations to find

1524
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:15,479
Speaker 2: that Larry. Then I also call the U haul store

1525
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:18,040
Speaker 2: where he rented the truck and give him the same information.

1526
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:21,280
Speaker 2: At least they can get their moving van back, but

1527
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 2: Larry will not be able to get anything out of it.

1528
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:28,360
Speaker 2: In less than sixty days. He has lost everything that

1529
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:30,840
Speaker 2: he took out of the house in less than sixty days.

1530
01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:35,320
Speaker 2: Dang Larry was up and then all the way down.

1531
01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,879
Speaker 4: Well, that's how it goes. The house always wins.

1532
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:41,360
Speaker 2: And we got another Larry update. Larry has been punted

1533
01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:44,160
Speaker 2: out of the trailer. My friend was so kind to

1534
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:47,400
Speaker 2: let him use and he has at least one arrest

1535
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:50,679
Speaker 2: warrant out. Man is one star. He's always Larry's always

1536
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 2: at least one star.

1537
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's got a running a running star there.

1538
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:58,040
Speaker 2: As far as we know, he's officially homeless. Lynn is

1539
01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:01,439
Speaker 2: living with us protected f doesn't have to worry about

1540
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:04,439
Speaker 2: him stealing her car, thank god, But Larry still calls

1541
01:10:04,479 --> 01:10:09,559
Speaker 2: her periodically and asks for money, which he thankfully doesn't

1542
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:12,320
Speaker 2: give him. He also begs to live with us, which

1543
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:16,040
Speaker 2: is a giant heck to the note. Meanwhile, we continue

1544
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:19,640
Speaker 2: settling the estates. Assets are liquidated, debts are paid, and

1545
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:22,960
Speaker 2: I submit a final accounting to the court. I carefully

1546
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:26,559
Speaker 2: document what Larry owes to the estate, which includes all

1547
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 2: the money he took out of my father in law's

1548
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:32,960
Speaker 2: bank account before and after his death, along with the

1549
01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:36,599
Speaker 2: rent that he said he paid but we never found

1550
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 2: any evidence of it. Hey, if he claimed to be

1551
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:41,839
Speaker 2: a tenant, I'm going to treat him like a tenant,

1552
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 2: including all the late fees. All right, there we go. Ope,

1553
01:10:45,560 --> 01:10:49,160
Speaker 2: kind of given brass tax to that fre freaking Larry.

1554
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,599
Speaker 2: One of the notices I gave him that he blew

1555
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,760
Speaker 2: off said that we would end the lease the date

1556
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:58,719
Speaker 2: he left the property and he wouldn't owe any rent

1557
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 2: pass that date as long as he's away. But since

1558
01:11:01,080 --> 01:11:03,519
Speaker 2: he actually did come back and trasts the place, I

1559
01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 2: charge him for that time too, plus late fees.

1560
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:11,160
Speaker 4: Hashtag pettit Princess God to fight Larry with Larry.

1561
01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:15,800
Speaker 2: Remember, all this settling of the estate is technically being

1562
01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:18,880
Speaker 2: done by Lynn, not me. She is the executor, but

1563
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 2: I've been doing all the paperwork, explaining everything to her

1564
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:25,040
Speaker 2: and she signs off on it. I make sure all

1565
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 2: the paperwork gets everywhere it needs to go, sending certified letters,

1566
01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 2: dropping off signed forms in person, etc. It's a lot

1567
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:35,559
Speaker 2: of work, but it's the only way the estate will

1568
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:38,680
Speaker 2: get settled. Finally, we receive word that the estate is

1569
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 2: settled and we can distribute the leftover money to the heirs.

1570
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:46,479
Speaker 2: Larry owes the estate tens of thousands of dollars yikes,

1571
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,400
Speaker 2: so that is withheld from his portion and goes to

1572
01:11:49,439 --> 01:11:52,120
Speaker 2: his siblings. But he also owes Lynn one thousand dollars

1573
01:11:52,479 --> 01:11:55,679
Speaker 2: and also owes my friend money for damage to her property.

1574
01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:58,040
Speaker 2: We can't take that out of the estate. I send

1575
01:11:58,120 --> 01:12:01,040
Speaker 2: him a message. If he signs a release allowing us

1576
01:12:01,040 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 2: to pay those debts out of his portion, I will

1577
01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:07,479
Speaker 2: drive wherever he is, most likely in a shelter somewhere

1578
01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:10,160
Speaker 2: and give him his check. If he doesn't, then it's

1579
01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:12,280
Speaker 2: up to lind to figure out exactly what he is

1580
01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:14,240
Speaker 2: owed and how to get him his money. And it

1581
01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 2: will take a lot longer, and Linn is okay with

1582
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:20,479
Speaker 2: his plan. Okay. Best of all, Larry can't complain to

1583
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:23,120
Speaker 2: the court about me not helping. I'm not the executor.

1584
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:25,120
Speaker 2: I don't have to lift a finger if I don't

1585
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:29,280
Speaker 2: like it. By the way, you should always like our podcast, okay, storytime.

1586
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:31,439
Speaker 2: You can search it wherever you get your podcasts and

1587
01:12:31,479 --> 01:12:32,799
Speaker 2: listen to us. Twenty four to seven.

1588
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 4: Of twenty four seven three six five.

1589
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 2: So yes, he agreed to the terms. My hubby and

1590
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:38,880
Speaker 2: I drove into town and met him in the park.

1591
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,479
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to meet him alone. Probably good. He

1592
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:44,120
Speaker 2: signed the release and I gave him the check. He

1593
01:12:44,200 --> 01:12:46,160
Speaker 2: had the nerve to ask us for money, but We

1594
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:48,280
Speaker 2: really weren't even surprised at that point. We just ignored

1595
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,960
Speaker 2: him and walked away, and that is the end of

1596
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 2: our interaction with him, unless he miraculously turns his life

1597
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:58,840
Speaker 2: around someday doubt it. I hope that for his sake,

1598
01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:02,120
Speaker 2: but there are some bridges that you can only cross

1599
01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,600
Speaker 2: in one direction. Like the song goes, you can't go

1600
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:07,560
Speaker 2: back again. I pray that he gets the help and

1601
01:13:07,640 --> 01:13:10,479
Speaker 2: motivation he needs, but I also pray that we, including Lynn,

1602
01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:15,719
Speaker 2: are never subject to his misbehavior again. That is where

1603
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:18,160
Speaker 2: the Larry saga ends.