WEBVTT - We have a Big problem…(Oliver Hudson weighs in: S1 E7 “The Monogamists”) 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:04.880 Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:10.520 you a Charlotte? Is this very exciting because I have 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.400 the Oliver Hudson here with me important. 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:17.439 Thank you for coming. It's so exciting, so exciting. 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:20.640 We're gonna we rewatched one oh seven, which is called 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:23.760 The Monogamous, And I'm so happy that you're here because 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:25.720 you are a straight guy who's been married a long 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:29.200 time and you can shed some light. Okay, can we 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:31.120 need some help understanding? 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.120 Eighteen years impressive? 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:35.000 Got together twenty three or twenty four? 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:39.720 Unbelievable, So I cannot wait to hear. But I also 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:42.279 want to just say, in case our viewers might not 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:44.560 necessarily know viewers, listeners. 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:46.879 Whichever we call them guests, you were on and just 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:47.600 like that, I was. 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:49.720 And so part of the reason that I love Oliver 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:51.440 and want who to be here is because he played 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:53.640 a very very cool character on. 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:54.600 It, just like that he had. 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.120 I was not there, yeah, which I'm kind of glad 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:57.639 and kind of not. 0:00:57.920 --> 0:01:02.520 I know, you know, to experience with an intimacy coordinator. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:03.880 No way, And what did you think? 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:06.480 I loved it? Honestly, I really did. I really like 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:12.040 intimacy things really easy, Yeah, and really great. Yeah, and 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:15.440 you know I was game for anything. You just tell 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.120 me what to do, you know, because I'm the guest 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.880 star here. Whenever you're comfortable with, I'm comfortable. It was 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:24.280 it was great. I've never done that. I'd had a 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.480 lot of sex scenes in my life. We're kind of 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:27.280 just all. 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.360 Right, just go in wacky right how it used to be. 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:33.080 It's all worked out. But to have it mapped out 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:34.160 and planned out. 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.240 Just because there were three of you there, it kind 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:37.880 of needed to be. 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.479 And it's funny because the next episode is about threesomes 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:45.120 in the original real series Sex City of the original season. Yeah, 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:47.760 so what what a weird you know co instence and 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:51.440 it's still being you know played out. Thres a very 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.160 interesting thing, but ours is not about that. But anyway, 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:57.720 intimacy coordinators, I've had good end bad since this new 0:01:57.800 --> 0:01:59.600 dawning of the intimacy coordinator. 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.000 That bad, I have had bad. 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:07.200 I mean it was one of my first times with one, 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.760 and I think that's part of it, is like you 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:11.760 just for us who've been around a long time, it 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.200 was just they'd say which little tiny thing would you 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.000 like to wear? And then you know, get in bed yes, 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:20.160 and you know, let's get rid of. 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:20.840 The extra crew. 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:22.920 And that was about it, you know, and hopefully you 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:24.560 were in tune with your co star. That's what it 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.600 was about, and the director, but mostly your co star, 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:30.480 like an agreement and like you feel comfortable and kind 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:33.120 of like I think, caring about the other one for 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:35.720 both sides, men and women, right, So it was about that. 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:38.239 But I did this indie and it was a very 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:40.440 very chaotic set. I'm not going to say what it was. 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:44.600 I mean a set where you couldn't trust anything going 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.880 right or properly professionally or whatever. And this woman who 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:51.120 was the intimacy coordinator had been a dancer, so she 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.760 would be like she was working with another actor who 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.639 I love very much, who's also a vet and totally trustworthy, 0:02:56.840 --> 0:03:01.080 like so protective and amazing. She would say, okay, so 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.760 you're gonna kiss three four and then you're gonna we 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:08.240 were like, what, like what I. 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:09.720 Mean, all the spontaneity out of it. 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.120 Listen, I wanted to kiss this person. No, no, no 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:16.520 offense to anyone might be listening. But I mean I 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:21.360 was like, you can go, like I got totally totally. 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:23.320 But the thing that was great, and he also was 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.040 super you know, professional and whatnot. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:27.000 And it all worked out. 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.160 But the thing that we have learned with and just 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:33.359 like that, because we have a lovely uh intimacy coordinator, 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:34.120 it's more. 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:35.840 About like she'll say, what are you worried about? What 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:36.720 are you nervous about? 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.560 And I'll watch the monitors and make sure that's not happening. 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:41.560 So it's like another set of eyes for you. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:44.080 Yeah, it was great. I mean she was, okay, how 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.440 do you feel about putting your hand here and doing this? 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:51.160 And and you know, I made a move and Soda 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:55.400 was like not cool with it, you know, totally sweet, 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:59.240 but it was sort of triggered them and I was like, 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.760 oh this is this is okay whatever, And that's when 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:06.240 I became completely submissive like a dog. I was on 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:08.560 my back with my feet and hands up. 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.200 I think that was the right way to go. I 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:15.120 think that was the right way to go. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.040 Also, Michael Patrick has a lot of ideas. Yes, and 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:19.880 you know, you got to roll with whatever it is, 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.200 you know. I mean I've learned, I've learned my lessons 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:25.080 over the years. Do not object and just find a 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:25.680 way that you're. 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:27.440 Going to be comfortable so it can be great. But 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:30.240 back in this day, we didn't have such things. No, 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:30.680 we did not. 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:32.920 And the thing that I really love, I mean, there's 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:35.440 so many amazing things. And as we were saying earlier, 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:38.440 I need to know, did you watch this back in 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:40.400 the day, Like, what's your history with the show? 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:42.919 So my history with the show is that everyone talked 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.520 about it. It was the show to watch at the time. 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:52.840 You know, it was a show for women, honestly, and 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:57.719 you know, my friend Alex actually was obsessed with the show, okay, 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:01.040 and we were like, what this is not demographic, I 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:01.919 don't understand. 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:03.719 Right ahead of his tem it was. 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:08.240 And you know, so I never really got into watching 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.320 the show. Later on, I watched a couple but it 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.760 was not it was not something that I got into. Now. 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.000 At the time, I was not as much as into 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:17.159 TV as I am now. 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:18.840 Okay, you know, it was a different time. 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.200 It was a different time. He was waiting every week 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:22.880 to watch the television show. 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.640 Every week he had to be there when it was happening. Yeah, yeah, 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:28.240 nine o'clock Sunday night. 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:34.080 I will say in watching this episode last night, uh, 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:36.560 first of all, so far ahead of its time, as 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:40.120 far as how it was written, you know, how comfortable 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:44.960 everyone was in saying in saying those things, and how 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:48.520 it's just a pure reflection that we haven't ever seen 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.840 before with four women who are being intimate with each 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:54.200 other and saying that, I want to say, we had 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:55.520 never really seen anything like that. 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:55.760 I know. 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.440 It's funny to think about because it's now, I feel like, 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:01.159 and that's one of the things that I love about 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:03.520 talking about it now is to see what's changed and 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.320 what hasn't. Because some things have changed, some things have 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.720 not changed, right, And one thing that I do think 0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:11.880 has changed is that people talk much more freely about 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:14.599 sex and relationships. Yes, and I think partly because of 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.240 social media, we have ways to talk about it. And 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:19.520 also like people go on red carpets like pretty much 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:21.440 naked now, you know, and this was not the case 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:21.920 back then. 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:23.760 No, no, not at all. 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:26.799 So it was that and it was so good. 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:28.120 Thank you, It's so good. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:29.760 I was with my wife watching last night and I 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.880 was like, I think I might start this now. You 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:35.240 know this many years, you know, ahead of time. You know. 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:39.000 It was just it's so good. It's good. The case 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:42.080 so on point, and it's only seven episodes in so 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:43.400 it can only get better and better. 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:45.599 I know for sure it gets better because in my mind, 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:48.039 as I was telling you, I always thought that the 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:50.359 first season was just like kind of a wash, Like 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:51.560 I just thought it was a mess. 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.440 We didn't know what we were doing. We were all 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:54.160 over the place. 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:57.040 I remember Darren saying to us at different times, like, 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:59.599 you guys have to be really funny, Like are really funny? 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.000 He was like, get his hands all agitated. 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.320 And we'd be like, uh, but are you is there 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.920 more jokes or you just want us to make what's 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:08.480 there for you? Like what do you mean? 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.840 And then sometimes he'd come down from upstairs. We were 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:12.600 shooting a Silver Cup in New York at the time. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:15.000 He'd come down. He'd be like everyone has to be sexier, 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:16.560 you have to be a sexier and I'd. 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:21.320 Be like me, me, are you sure, because I don't 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:24.200 now it gets well. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.440 I mean, Charlotte does some stuff that literally I had 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:29.160 not remembered, Like I'm like, what what what? What what? 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:31.280 Because they were trying to figure her out, right, and 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:32.680 so like on the one hand, she's saying I want 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:33.800 to get married, I want to get married, But on 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:36.559 the other hand, she's doing a lot of She's pretty game, 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:40.560 like more so than I remember. You know, yeah, it's interesting. 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:44.600 Your guys can were you Was it immediate your chemistry. 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:46.000 Yeah, we never even read together. We didn't have a 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:46.760 chemistry reader. 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:48.720 But you guys got together. It was like bang. 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:51.920 Yeah, it was pretty much bang. And it was also 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.200 I think it was a couple things. Number One, everyone 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:58.480 was so excited, like it was such an odd and 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.400 unusual thing at the time. Like I remember when I 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.520 had gotten because I knew Darren from Melroy's place, and 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.560 he had sent me the script. And I've said this 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:08.680 many times. Sorry for anyone I'm repeating it. He'd sent 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.440 me the script when Sara Jessica had been unsure for Carrie, 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:14.080 and I was like, I can't pull carry off because 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:18.560 Carie was much more like Kennis Bushnell, the original columnist, right, 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:23.360 a little boulder smoked, swore a lot, very like more 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:27.520 like Samantha in a certain way. And I very clearly 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:28.880 was like, no, no, no, I need to be that 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:31.480 other one, that Charlotte one that doesn't do a lot. 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:33.600 I need to be her because she's more I relate 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:34.960 to her because I grew up in the South, So 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.800 I think that really informed Charlotte, even though she's not 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:43.720 technically Southern. But it was so crazy to think of 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:48.280 four women without lead men Like Big was present, but 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.600 it wasn't clear that he was going to be this 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.560 you know, really really huge through line for her. It 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.040 was just maybe going to be a season or you know, 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:58.320 who knows, right, like they they had to kind of 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.079 make that up once they off in the way that 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.880 we did. So it was really just just the four 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.320 of us in Sara Jessica, and there was nothing like 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:09.680 it at all, and the idea that four women could 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:13.200 lead a show that wasn't a soap opera, Like, yes, 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:15.440 it was about relationships and sex, but it was also funny, 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:19.320 and it was also shocking and brave in a way, 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:20.640 brash and brave, you know. 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:24.000 Back then that part was so thrilling that I think 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.040 all of us were just like, you know, we didn't 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:26.959 even know each other at all. 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.600 So when I talk to each everyone, you know, they 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.680 tell me stuff that I didn't know about their beginning 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:33.320 on the show, which is so interesting. 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.720 No, I know, well even watching it, just talking about 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:39.040 the time that it was it was made. When the 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:41.880 guy that you were with is trying to push you down, 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:45.679 like give him a blow, right, I mean the in 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:49.040 nineteen ninety what six or seven? You know, it was 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:52.840 funny and it was sort of strangely relatable. Well not 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:53.200 to me. 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:55.400 I was a young I was a young man. 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:57.920 But what I'm saying, you could you can't do that 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:02.480 now right with context in the tone that it was 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.000 done then, right, it would be like, whoa wait a minute, 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.760 this is when I did find your power. And you're like, definitely, 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.360 gone right, But but it happens a lot the minute 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.560 he did it in the first scene, right, I'm like, oh, well, she's. 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:17.120 Gone right, I know. Right, I'm like, oh my god. 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:18.800 And then it's like I love you, I love her. 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:21.520 It was like a right, you know, right, But I 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.640 also remember and of course this is I'm going to 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:27.200 regret this, but I mean it's not the first time 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:28.559 that it had happened to me, of course. 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.040 But it's also crazy to think about the. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:37.080 Beauty of it. But you're touching upon, you know, the 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:41.840 relatability of what women are deal with on a daily basis. Yeah, 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.600 you know what I mean, that's the relatable part. Yes, 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:49.079 and even for guys, it's shameful relatability. Potentially right. 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:53.160 So let me just say, from a perspective of understanding 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.079 the societal you know, pressures and whatever, I don't think 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.480 anyone was telling you guys that that was not cool. 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.280 No, of course not So I don't blame everybody kind 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.000 of I don't know. I mean, what do you think. 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:06.720 I honestly, and I've had my share of women, I 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:10.360 have never in my life even come close to doing 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.320 anything like that because it's not my nature. 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:17.240 There's a respect there, I guess, or it's like it's. 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:20.600 Almost leaves me speechless. It's beyond the way I can 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:21.319 even think. 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:25.520 Because I want someone to be doing that. It's not 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:26.520 exciting to. 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:30.360 Make sex life even right now with my wife, you know, 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.160 by the way, twenty five years together, sex is still 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:35.520 like unbelievably incredible. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:35.960 Wow. 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:39.000 It goes from like eighteen times a day when you're young, 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:43.280 but it's deeper and deeper and deeper as you get 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:49.920 older and once. I think, especially for the man. And 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:51.720 I've done a lot of work on myself. I've been 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:54.440 to the Hoffman Institute to deal with my own I mean, 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:59.679 I've done some stuff. Vulnerability for men just generally is difficult, right, 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:04.560 Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult to 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:06.840 be able to sort of even say the nice things. 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:08.360 And for me, it was hard to even look at 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:10.839 Aaron and say, I just want to tell you right now, 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:12.960 I'm solicited that I love you and like I'm so 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.200 just lucky that you're in my life. It was to 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:20.120 say something like that makes me want to like hide. 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.000 That's the feeling of like, oh my god, it's cringe 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:27.160 worthy for me because it's so vulnerable, right. I did 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:29.400 a lot of work on myself with that. I was 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.920 able to be more open and it changed the game. 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:39.319 First amazing what happens is is for men, A little 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.800 note to men is yes, we get when we are 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:46.200 open and vulnerable like that. There's a safety that comes 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:49.400 from her, from Aaron, let's just say now, right, which 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:53.320 allows her to be more open and connected with sex. 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.920 It's been a million years, so new doors are open, 0:12:57.000 --> 0:13:00.360 not just from like a dirty standpoint, which is always fun, 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:05.880 but just from a intimately intimate connected place where we 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:09.920 would have sex and be like, oh my god, like 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:10.520 what is that. 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:12.439 That's amazing? That's the best kind. 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:14.840 Oh it really is, yeah, it really really Oh yeah, 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.920 oh yeah. So I went off on a bit. 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:20.480 Of I know, but it is so good because like, 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:22.160 one of the things I want to ask you about 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:25.560 is a male perspective of Big here because in this episode, 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.800 which is super interesting to look back on because Charlotte 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.000 was always pro Big, but I'm looking back on this 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:35.120 early season and being like, eh oh, because Carrie is 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:37.360 very connected and very open. We start the beginning of 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:40.120 the episode and she's saying, like, you know, we're in 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.360 the middle of New York, seven million people, and it's 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:45.240 that great shot where you know, real New Yorkers are 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.720 walking acward the camera. It's so cool and it looks 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:48.479 so seventies. 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:51.280 Yeah, now to our eyes now in twenty five right 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:53.880 close right, all of the cars everything. 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:58.200 Yeah, So they're they're like so united and within this crowd, 0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:01.679 and she's obviously, you know, over the moon into it, 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:04.840 and we assume he is too, and they're spending all 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:06.640 their time together to the point where she hasn't seen 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.800 the girlfriends at all, and we think she's, you know, 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.959 falling off the cliff or whatever. And then cut to 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.360 he says he has a work dinner, and yes, and 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.160 we go out to dinner with her because she says, 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:21.080 oh yeah, Big has a work dinner tonight, A work 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:22.920 thing tonight, you know, let's go out to dinner. We 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:24.200 go out to dinner, and we see him in the 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:27.000 corner having dinner with another woman, which I'm just like, 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.160 he should have been out. 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:29.920 Then, like, oh, what the heck? 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:35.320 Like just because to me, I would feel that they 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:37.080 were not in sync. That if I was in that 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:39.440 relationship and I thought we were over the moon, not 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.280 even talking to our friend's level of connected and then 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:43.560 he's gone out with another woman. 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.640 What the heck? Boo out the door? I guess, what 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:48.120 do you think? 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:53.920 Well, so here's the show specifically, Yes, he said he 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.160 had a work dinner, so right, a work. 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:57.680 Thing, I think dinner. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:04.800 Yeah, there's a lie lie there. Okay, take that away 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.840 just for a second later on in the not later on. 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.320 But I love the way that that scene was handled. 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.560 And it's funny you're asking me about this because I 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:16.400 took note of it where he wasn't caught. He didn't 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.720 play it like he was caught, which is that an actor, 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:22.200 by the way, But he didn't play like. 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.479 He was that's a good point. 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:26.040 He's like, oh, hey, maybe a little uncomfortable, but hey, 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:28.480 this is Bonnie or whatever her name is ew But 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:31.360 and I just had this conversation with a friend in 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:37.200 real life? Was there an established there was no situation, 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.880 and there wasn't here was where it's like, are we 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:45.320 boyfriend girlfriend? Are we committed? And so you can't just 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:49.240 assume that one is committed and the other isn't. Even 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:52.680 if you're getting the committed vibes, you still have to 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:57.000 have the conversation for sure, but you just talk emotionally. 0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:00.760 Yes, I agree with you, but emotionally it would really 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:03.640 hurt me to think that we were not on the 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.920 same level, Like when she goes, oh, I didn't realize 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.520 I was in these feelings by myself, Like that's an 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:10.320 upsetting feeling. 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.440 Sure, but then you have to take into account the 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:17.040 reasons why he might not be Why why might not be? Well, 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.360 there could be a psychological thing, there could be something 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:21.760 like he's been burned before, he's been hurt before, his 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:28.520 parents have divorced, he's a noncommittal person, he's feeling loved women. 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:31.920 Okay, okay, okay, but let's say that those Okay. He's 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.960 a grown up, right, he's not twenty five, he's not thirty. 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:35.880 He's a grown up. 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:43.280 Okay, So she is obviously open to this in a way. 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.960 That he seems like he might not be. It's unclear. 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:49.680 It's unclear right Like, when I'm watching it back, I'm 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:53.119 thinking myself, Big is sending her so many mixed messages, 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:56.320 like kind of from the get go, you know, and 0:16:56.400 --> 0:17:00.000 she just hangs in and you know, tries to figure 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:01.800 you're it out and she goes out with Miranda and 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:02.880 she's overthinking it. 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:04.480 But like, I completely relate to that. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.840 She's like, maybe you know when he said I missed you, babe, 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.960 because then he calls her from his silly car moment, 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.440 which is so adorable, and he says like, I missed 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.320 you babe. This is right after she's seen him on 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:17.720 the day with the other woman. Like, that's very mixed 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:18.840 messages and confusing. 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.920 He's a manipulative Yeah, but maybe he Do you think 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:22.760 he really missed her? 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:23.280 Yes? 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:23.680 I do. 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:25.680 But then I'm like, why did you go on that date? 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:27.439 And why didn't you tell her? But this is my 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:28.560 question that I did because we. 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.639 Weren't committed, I know, but we never had the conversation 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:33.679 Like I'm how do I know what? I don't know 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:37.280 what you're doing? You know, maybe I have a fear 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:39.720 that you know you're doing other things too. 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:43.040 Okay, okay, let me ask you this about psychology and 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:44.800 the psycho, but let me ask you about the psychology 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:46.320 of it, okay, because you don't know what. 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:46.800 I get it. 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:49.160 I get it, and listen, I am like number one 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:55.679 annoyingly understanding of people's psychology. But at a certain point 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.679 you cannot do their work for them, and so you 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:01.640 need to know are they going to do any work 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:03.760 on this or are they not sure? 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:05.520 And is this just the way it's going to be? 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:09.440 Well, yes, once you get deeper into a relationship, yeah, 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:13.320 but in the beginning stages when we're watching, it's still 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.440 a feel out process, meaning yes, they're to get there 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:21.000 together and there's feeling things. But it stated in the show, 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:23.920 we were not we never had that conversation. 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:25.720 Yeah, but if you spent like. 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:27.800 Eight days, I believe she says she hadn't seen us 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:31.200 in eight days the friends. If you spent eight days 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:35.800