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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Samup, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My friend kept inviting herself on my trip despite me

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Speaker 2: saying no.

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Speaker 3: Literally, just listen.

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Speaker 2: My US friend group is pretty diverse and we've all

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Speaker 2: visited each other's home countries in the past two years.

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Speaker 2: We've either stayed in a hotel or a family home,

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Speaker 2: depending on space. By the way, this comes from that

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Speaker 2: one girly xo five and if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to my home country for two and

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Speaker 2: a half months in the summer. All of my friends

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Speaker 2: have known since Christmas pretty much, and all of them know.

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Speaker 2: It's not an open invite like usual because I'm not

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Speaker 2: going for fun. I'm spending my time there with my

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Speaker 2: family and I'm going to be busy with my fiance

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Speaker 2: finalizing everything wedding related. So my friend decided that she

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Speaker 2: didn't want to go home for the summer. Instead wanted

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Speaker 2: to come with me, and decided that she'll just stay

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Speaker 2: at my family home. Like before, I told her that

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Speaker 2: it really won't be a good time. Plus, we're not

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Speaker 2: opening the family home for anyone outside of the family

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Speaker 2: this year for a very good reason. Instead of accepting that,

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Speaker 2: she asked about my other accommodations. I told her they're

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Speaker 2: in use and not available. I didn't offer a hotel,

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Speaker 2: and from the way she's been talking, she can't afford

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Speaker 2: one right now. So instead of giving up, she said

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Speaker 2: that she can just go there and figure it out then, which,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion translates to I will fly there and

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Speaker 2: make it your problem, so you have no other choice

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Speaker 2: but to accommodate me.

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Speaker 3: Yuh, literally exactly, that I'll figure it out. You'll figure

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Speaker 3: out that you'll need to help me. Actually yeah.

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Speaker 2: I told her if she does that, she'll have to

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Speaker 2: truly figure it out on her own, because I'm not

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Speaker 2: budging or folding. She laughed it off and told me

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Speaker 2: that obviously because she didn't mean it like an ultimatum.

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Speaker 2: Asked her if she's okay, if there's something going on

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Speaker 2: at home or with her personally, etc. Because it's not

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Speaker 2: like her to do something like this. She said, everything's good. I, however,

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Speaker 2: feel like I'm stuck. If she goes through with her

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Speaker 2: brilliant figure it out plan, she'll be a foreign woman

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Speaker 2: in a country she's only visited twice before, with a

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Speaker 2: guide aka me who doesn't speak the native language or

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Speaker 2: understand the map, et cetera. I can't leave her alone,

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Speaker 2: no matter what I warned her, I'd do see.

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Speaker 3: No, but that's false because you could just leave her alone.

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Speaker 2: You just can't make this be your problem because it's

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Speaker 2: not your problem.

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Speaker 3: Even if she decides to come out there, she will

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Speaker 3: have to figure it out unless you cave and cater

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Speaker 3: to her. But you don't have to. You've given her

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Speaker 3: every warning.

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Speaker 2: And then advice. Please do you have any other Let

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Speaker 2: literally let her do it.

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Speaker 3: Let her do it, And then when she's like, I

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Speaker 3: need to place, you'd be like, well, you can try

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Speaker 3: over there.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, send her some recommendations of tourist things

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Speaker 2: to do, and then be like bye bye.

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Speaker 3: Yes, can't sit here, there's a hostel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's enough.

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Speaker 3: Al people traveled alone on a shoestring budget around the

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Speaker 3: world all the time.

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Speaker 2: She'll figure it out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Uh, some of Opie's comments top commenter, I'd just be

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Speaker 2: really direct with her. Hey, I know we usually travel

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Speaker 2: in groups, but this trip is really just for fiance

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Speaker 2: and I. We're staying with family and we've got a

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Speaker 2: packed schedule. I genuinely will not have the time to

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Speaker 2: spend with you, nor the space to accommodate you, and

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Speaker 2: then just leave it.

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Speaker 3: Yes, perfect, that was perfect.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't share any more info about your trip, not

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Speaker 2: the dates you're going or the flight you're booked on.

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Speaker 2: She's an adult, and if she makes the choice to

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Speaker 2: go down there on vacation, that's totally up to her.

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Speaker 2: But she'll have to fend for herself because you've made

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Speaker 2: it clear this was not an open invitation and you're

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Speaker 2: not going to be entertaining or hosting her. And Opie responds,

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Speaker 2: the thing is that I've already told her all of this,

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Speaker 2: but I think she thinks we're being over or something.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't know the exact day I'm leaving or my

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Speaker 2: flight details. But she doesn't need to in a way. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she doesn't need to.

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Speaker 3: Right because she can she has free will. She can

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Speaker 3: whatever she wants.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't need to go the same days as you

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Speaker 2: because she's not staying with you.

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Speaker 3: If you've already told her all of that stuff, there's

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Speaker 3: truly nothing left to do then to tell her you

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Speaker 3: still can't stay here when she inevitably asks you after

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Speaker 3: flying there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she knows the timeframe, which is early July to

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Speaker 2: early September, so she can technically fly there within that. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so she does not know when you're gonna be there,

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Speaker 2: so just don't tell her when you're gonna be there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I know that if she does go through with it,

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Speaker 2: that I need to stick to my pupews. But I

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Speaker 2: will also be worried about her because it's the same

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Speaker 2: person who's gotten lost in malls multiple times.

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Speaker 3: Lo again, not really not really your not really your

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Speaker 3: problem unless you like make it your problem.

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Speaker 2: You can't worry the whole time. You'll ruin your own trip.

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Speaker 3: It's true.

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Speaker 2: Another comment text her, so it's written and she can't

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Speaker 2: say she misunderstood. As I mentioned before, I will be

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Speaker 2: visiting my family and we are not inviting anyone this year.

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Speaker 2: The family has plans, and I will not be available

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Speaker 2: at all during that period or something like that, very

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Speaker 2: clear into the point, do not let any room for

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Speaker 2: interpretation and OPI responds, something similar is written out in

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Speaker 2: our friend group chat, So I guess that counts and

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Speaker 2: we do have an update. You have any other thoughts?

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Speaker 3: Free will is a crazy thing, crazy update?

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Speaker 2: So I took the advice and sent her a long

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Speaker 2: text copy pasted from one of the comments, with just

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Speaker 2: a few things changed up. Then I sent another text

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Speaker 2: to my friend's group chat to make sure again that

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Speaker 2: they know it's not an open invite, and then I

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Speaker 2: wrote out why I'm making sure and what's been said

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Speaker 2: between my friend and I. She left me on scene privately,

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Speaker 2: but replied in the group chat that she's not daft.

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Speaker 2: She understand me perfectly the first time. What she decides

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Speaker 2: to do with her time in vacation is none of

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Speaker 2: my business.

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Speaker 3: All right. The switch up, the classic switch up.

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Speaker 2: I told her that she should stop making it my

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Speaker 2: business then, and stop telling me about her summer plans

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Speaker 2: altogether if it involves my home country. She replied that

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Speaker 2: I don't have a claim to the country, and that

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Speaker 2: my family's reason for not opening up our home is stupid.

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Speaker 2: There it is, and that we need to get over

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Speaker 2: ourselves because it's not the Second Coming of Christ.

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Speaker 3: Dang, hold on, she's salty. Is your name on the

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Speaker 3: deed to the property you're trying to stay at?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: No, so you need to get over yourself and figure

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Speaker 3: out your own lodging accommodations.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not her home country, it's your home country.

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Speaker 5: You do have somewhat of a claim, honness. She's not

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Speaker 5: even trying to claim the whole country. She's just being like,

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Speaker 5: if you're planning to come here, that's great. Stop involving me,

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Speaker 5: because I can't help you at all with any of it.

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Speaker 5: We're not on a trip together.

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Speaker 2: I told her she's free to her opinion, just like

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Speaker 2: I'm free to mine, and that, in my opinion, she's

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Speaker 2: acting like an entitled brat.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I added that she should lose my number until she's

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Speaker 2: ready to apologize. Tell me what's wrong, because she's clearly

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Speaker 2: not okay in my opinion, it's not like her, and

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Speaker 2: talk it out like adults. If anyone's wondering what she

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Speaker 2: perceives as not the Second Coming of Christ. Is My

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Speaker 2: eldest brother and his wife welcoming their second baby in

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Speaker 2: mid July. And my parents, my other older brothers and

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Speaker 2: I being the village that we are and helping them

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Speaker 2: while also spoiling my toddler nephew rotten Looe. So no

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Speaker 2: guests or visitors are allowed outside of our immediate family,

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Speaker 2: while my sister in law heels and she and my

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Speaker 2: brother adjust per their request.

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Speaker 3: Right, there's a baby, there's a wedding.

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Speaker 2: The toddler.

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Speaker 4: There's no time.

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Speaker 3: This is not hot girl summer. This is family business.

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Speaker 2: Why do you want to bond with their newborn so badly? Okay,

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Speaker 2: we have an update June fifteenth, twenty twenty five, just

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Speaker 2: over one month later. Oh boy, Right, So I was

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Speaker 2: asked to update when I made my first post, and

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Speaker 2: I thought I would if she did end up coming

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Speaker 2: after August slash September. However, things ended up happening much Soonero.

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Speaker 2: We didn't talk for nearly two and a half weeks

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Speaker 2: after my last text, and I didn't see her much

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Speaker 2: at hangouts since she was mad at the rest of

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Speaker 2: our friends as well. They didn't exactly take sides, but

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Speaker 2: they did point out that her plan was plain stupid. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: she ended up coming to one of the girls place

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Speaker 2: for a group dinner and we had a private ish chat.

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Speaker 2: She finally opened up about why she's acting like that,

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Speaker 2: and as it turns out, she had a huge crush

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Speaker 2: on one of my brothers and was hoping she'd get

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Speaker 2: him alone this summer to shoot her shot with him.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh come on girls summer. She's trying

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Speaker 3: to go hot girl summer.

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Speaker 2: It's annoying. But I've been used to having friends having

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Speaker 2: crushes on my brothers and my dad and my dad,

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Speaker 2: my whole life.

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Speaker 3: Dang, wait what what?

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Speaker 2: So I just let her talk. She admitted that she

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Speaker 2: has been sending him dms on Instagram, trying to get

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Speaker 2: to know him, but he's been politely cordial at best

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Speaker 2: and ignores half of her texts. Then she started asking

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Speaker 2: me about him about his dating history, which had me

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Speaker 2: disgusted because he's by and she wanted statistics on if

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Speaker 2: he's been more into girls or guys so she can

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Speaker 2: figure out her chances, and then asked me to help her.

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Speaker 3: Out, right, because because that's exactly how that works, That

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Speaker 3: is exactly Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She gave me examples of moments that happened on her

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Speaker 2: last trip with me and my brother, dancing, water fights, karaoke,

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Speaker 2: et cetera, that I could help her reak create with him,

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Speaker 2: which is just disturbing because she made my brother and

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Speaker 2: I sound romantic and it's just helped multiply my disgust.

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Speaker 2: When she was done, I told her that she needed

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Speaker 2: to come out of her fantasy and back to reality.

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Speaker 2: She was starting to creep me tfout. I told her

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Speaker 2: that the fact is that my brother isn't shy. If

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Speaker 2: he was interested in her, he would act like it,

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Speaker 2: and him ignoring her speaks volumes. Besides that, I told

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Speaker 2: her that she knows I don't involve myself in any

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Speaker 2: of my brother's relationships, and even if I did, I

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Speaker 2: would never allow anyone to use me for insider information.

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Speaker 2: Then I said that this conversation was over and to

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Speaker 2: never bring it up with me again. She got pissed

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Speaker 2: and told me that I'm possessive and acting like a

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Speaker 2: guard dog to my brothers, and then I need to

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Speaker 2: get over myself because there was a spark between them

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Speaker 2: on our last trip.

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Speaker 3: Oh you know what they say, One spark is all

228
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Speaker 3: it takes for someone to ignore you half the time.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't like you, dude, He does.

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Speaker 2: Not like you and she's telling you that he doesn't.

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Speaker 3: Like you, being like you're being like defensive. It's like

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you your you gets clear, my brother doesn't

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Speaker 3: like you.

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Speaker 2: I just got up, said bye to my friends, and

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Speaker 2: left because she's clearly deluded herself into believing something that

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Speaker 2: doesn't exist. On our last trip, my brother was so

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Speaker 2: into the guy he was seeing at the time that

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Speaker 2: he accidentally called the rest of our brothers by his

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Speaker 2: name multiple times.

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Speaker 3: Which is that's kind of cringey inea of itself.

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Speaker 2: But whatever, we have another update. Do you have anything

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Speaker 2: else before we get in?

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Speaker 3: I just don't think this. I think this girl's gonna

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Speaker 3: end up being on the outside of this whole friend

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Speaker 3: group because she's being so entitled.

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Speaker 2: Do you think she's still gonna show up?

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Speaker 3: I hope she does and gets turned away, and then

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Speaker 3: maybe that will start her down like the oh, I've

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Speaker 3: learned a lesson path. You know, she'll be like, oh,

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Speaker 3: so it turns out I am entitled, but now I've

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Speaker 3: discovered myself entitled.

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Speaker 2: Her obsessive made some limerens going on well.

253
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Speaker 3: In both because it's like, because I'm obsessed with your brother,

254
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Speaker 3: I'm entitled to stay here.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I've cut her off completely, and with everything that's

256
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Speaker 2: happening right now, she got scared of traveling and dropped

257
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Speaker 2: her plans, which is what she told the front group.

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Speaker 2: It sucks to lose her as a friend since we

259
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Speaker 2: were close and all that, and I don't know how

260
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Speaker 2: it'll affect the group yet, but crap happens, and I

261
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,240
Speaker 2: have to and I have too much going on to

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Speaker 2: dwell on it right now. I, on the other hand,

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Speaker 2: moved up my traveling and will hopefully be back in

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Speaker 2: my home country in the next few days along with

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Speaker 2: my family, which will allow us to celebrate my dad

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Speaker 2: and one of my brothers on Father's Day. So yay,

267
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Speaker 2: we celebrate on the twenty first. There some other comments

268
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Speaker 2: comments are one, I have a feeling I know where

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Speaker 2: you're traveling, and it's crap crazy for this girl to

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Speaker 2: think she can just rock up and wing it. Absolutely

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Speaker 2: gorgeous country, but I speak two of the local languages,

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Speaker 2: and I'd still be more comfy traveling with a group

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Speaker 2: or my partner. This is not a beginner level travel

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Speaker 2: destination for the average American. Average American, and Opie responds,

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Speaker 2: if you're guessing Lebanon, then you'd be right, And yes,

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Speaker 2: I've lived there half my life and I still get

277
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Speaker 2: lost some times, taking shortcuts and ending up in a

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Speaker 2: whole different area than the one I meant.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 2: And we have an editor's note. OPI has some other

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Speaker 2: posts talking about Lebanon, which is how the commentary guessed

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Speaker 2: that this was the country.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

284
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Speaker 2: A commenter says, might want to warn your brother about her.

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Speaker 2: Her obsession is creepy at best and could very well

286
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Speaker 2: escalate if she continues to spiral into delusions. Opie responds,

287
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Speaker 2: I already talked to him and he just shrugged it off.

288
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Speaker 2: It makes sense for him. I guess not to be worried,

289
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Speaker 2: since he doesn't live in the US and is only

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Speaker 2: going to be in our home country for the planned

291
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Speaker 2: time frame, like the rest of us. A commenter says,

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Speaker 2: still a real possibility that she shows up at their

293
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,680
Speaker 2: house in the other country. Oh Pi responds, she got

294
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Speaker 2: scared with everything that's going on in the Middle East

295
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 2: right now and put the idea out of her head. Still,

296
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Speaker 2: even if she does somehow get to the airport, I'm

297
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 2: one hundred percent certain she couldn't point a taxi driver

298
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Speaker 2: in North or South, much less managed to get to

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Speaker 2: our home.

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Speaker 3: She'd just be fully lost in Lebanon, even at the airport.

301
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Speaker 3: Just yeah, she'd be like, I just need to get

302
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Speaker 3: back on the plane.

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Speaker 2: It's incredible on how the brothers reacted and if they

304
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Speaker 2: made fun of him when he called them the wrong name.

305
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Speaker 3: They did.

306
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Speaker 2: Lol. Each time they or he entered a room, they

307
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,400
Speaker 2: would reintroduce themselves and explain who they are, like he's

308
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Speaker 2: a dementia patient home. They also got name tags for

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00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 2: each of them so he can remember, and even got

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Speaker 2: one for Or at the time baby nephew and pinned

311
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,320
Speaker 2: it to his onesie just in case, and refused to

312
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,240
Speaker 2: take them off when we went out. Commenter says, even

313
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,640
Speaker 2: if Slash when I had a crush on someone, I

314
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,280
Speaker 2: would never ask someone to put us in a position

315
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Speaker 2: to better my chances.

316
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Speaker 3: Which clearly that wouldn't have done right.

317
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Speaker 2: You already try it hard enough. Uh if it doesn't

318
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Speaker 2: happen organically, I don't want it. She's creepy and obsessive,

319
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Speaker 2: and Opie says exactly, I'm now engaged to my eldest

320
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,000
Speaker 2: brother's best friend, but back when I was interested in

321
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,480
Speaker 2: him and he still saw me as his best friend's

322
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Speaker 2: little sister. I never ever asked my brother to play

323
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Speaker 2: matchmaker or tell me stuff about him that I could

324
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,760
Speaker 2: use to soften him up or crap like that. It

325
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 2: would have been manipulation in my opinion, and just plain

326
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,320
Speaker 2: disgusting and desperate. I feel sorry for her because she's

327
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 2: beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have her.

328
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Speaker 2: She doesn't need to resort to tricks and lies. And

329
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Speaker 2: that's the end of that story.

330
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Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, yeah, she well she went and talked herself

331
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Speaker 3: out of it anyway, so she got scared.

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Speaker 2: We're good, there's no problem anymore.

333
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Speaker 3: Uh yeah, except losing a friend took care of itself,

334
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 3: because that's I mean, yeah, it's sad that you're losing

335
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Speaker 3: a friend, but like, uh, I don't know, sounds kind

336
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:18,440
Speaker 3: of crazy, sir, exactly. Yeah. I stopped paying for my

337
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,800
Speaker 3: friend's therapy because nothing ever improved.

338
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,239
Speaker 2: Get a new therapist.

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Speaker 3: Literally, I thirty three female have been paying for my

340
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 3: friends forty female therapy sessions for over a year now.

341
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 3: This began because she was going through some hard times.

342
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user Unexpected African And

343
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,800
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

344
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 3: the art slash okay, storytime subredd it. So she lost

345
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 3: her mother, with whom she was extremely close, in part

346
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,080
Speaker 3: because she did not have the resources to get her

347
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 3: proper care and diagnosis. She lost her soulmate Cat. Her

348
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,840
Speaker 3: screenwriting career took a nose dive due to forces outside

349
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 3: of her control, and the day job she works to

350
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,600
Speaker 3: pay the bills while she works on the screenwriting cut

351
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,119
Speaker 3: her workload and thus her pay in half. She was

352
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 3: and still is dealing with tremendous grief and depression. Nothing

353
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 3: in her life was going right. Yeah, that is a

354
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 3: landslide of bs a land a landslide of horribleness, horrible.

355
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,679
Speaker 2: I wonder if this is the writer's strike.

356
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 3: Could be she doesn't have health insurance, she can't afford it,

357
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,880
Speaker 3: and was paying out of pocket for her therapy sessions

358
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Speaker 3: since it was the only thing giving her some relief

359
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,160
Speaker 3: from all the grief and depression. So when her job

360
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 3: cut her hours, she was going to have to stop going,

361
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 3: and I was genuinely worried about her well being, so

362
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 3: I offered to keep paying for her to go until

363
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,639
Speaker 3: this script that she had sold went into production and

364
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,320
Speaker 3: she got a big payout. The producers had jumped all

365
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,000
Speaker 3: over it and told her that they wanted to start

366
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,359
Speaker 3: production yesterday. I was in a position to afford the

367
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,800
Speaker 3: four hundred dollars a month at the time, and anyway,

368
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 3: it was only going to be for a few months, right.

369
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 3: That was over a year ago. I've been paying four

370
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 3: thousand a month for my friend to go to therapy

371
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 3: for over a year now. Because her film never went

372
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 3: into development. She hasn't sold another script since nothing has

373
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,680
Speaker 3: improved in her life. Maybe time has helped heal the

374
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,639
Speaker 3: grief a bit, but I don't see it changing anytime soon. However,

375
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 3: I can't keep paying this much every month. Things have

376
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 3: changed a lot in my own life, and I'm now

377
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 3: in a relationship with the woman that i'd fully intend

378
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 3: to spend the rest of my life with, and we

379
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 3: have goals and dreams and aspirations things we want to do,

380
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 3: and I could really be putting that money away to

381
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 3: better use. As awful as that may sound, I feel

382
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 3: like I would be the a hole for taking away

383
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,479
Speaker 3: the one thing that has been helping her. But at

384
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 3: the same time, she isn't exactly doing much to improve

385
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,320
Speaker 3: her situation. She refuses to get a different day job

386
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 3: that pays more because she insists she has to be

387
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 3: able to work from home so that she can take

388
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 3: meetings with producers whenever it's convenient for them. But and

389
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,359
Speaker 3: I'm sorry if this comes off crappy, she's not taking

390
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 3: any meetings with any effing producers. She hasn't in over

391
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 3: a year. I feel like at some point she needs

392
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 3: to come to terms with reality and do what needs

393
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 3: to be done to help herself while things are in

394
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,719
Speaker 3: a downturn, but she won't. And I don't know how

395
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 3: to talk to her about this without sounding preachy and condescending,

396
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 3: or without it sounding like I'm telling her to give

397
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 3: up on her dreams, which I absolutely don't want her

398
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 3: to do because she's a fantastic writer. But I really

399
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,479
Speaker 3: can't keep doing this. I don't think you should make

400
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 3: it about her at all.

401
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 2: No, this is your financial situation. Just tell her you can't.

402
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just need to be like, hey, I really

403
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 3: can't afford to give you the four hundred dollars a month,

404
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,440
Speaker 3: and really that should be all you need to say.

405
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 2: And it sounds like you haven't updated her at all,

406
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 2: so she probably just doesn't know that you can't afford it.

407
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I know it's probably like, well, I can't

408
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 3: afford it, but I would rather put that money towards

409
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 3: this stuff for like the woman I'm going to spend

410
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,360
Speaker 3: the rest of my life with. It's like, then that

411
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 3: means you can't afford it, Yeah, because you need to

412
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 3: put that four hundred dollars there. Yeah, you know, so

413
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,200
Speaker 3: you just I need to explain that. The other thing,

414
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 3: the final straw, really was a few months ago when

415
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 3: she asked me for nearly two thousand dollars to pay

416
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 3: her taxes. Having just had to shell out for my

417
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 3: own taxes on top of getting the news that my

418
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 3: entire suspension would need to be rebuilt on my car,

419
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 3: I just did not have that money to lend her,

420
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 3: and I told her so. She pushed back and said

421
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 3: she'd be able to pay me back later this year

422
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 3: when she got some payment from the script she sold.

423
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 3: But frankly, nothing ever works out the way she says

424
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 3: it should, so I didn't trust i'd ever get reimbursed,

425
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 3: and anyway, I did not have the money to give,

426
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 3: which I reiterated. She came back again the next day

427
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,880
Speaker 3: and said, what about this much and I can try

428
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: to come up with the rest of the money elsewhere,

429
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 3: and I said no again. She came back again and

430
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 3: I stopped replying, and she finally took the hint, saying, hey,

431
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 3: sorry forget I asked. You've been paying for my therapy

432
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 3: and I'm so grateful, So if you can just keep

433
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 3: doing that, i'd appreciate it.

434
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 2: Okay, So we had a conversation.

435
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but this is so weird.

436
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 2: This is you're telling her and she's just like, no,

437
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 2: you can though, keep paying for this.

438
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 3: I would. I know I can't, Yeah, but you you okay,

439
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 3: but can you? It's like a barter. She's trying to

440
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 3: barter you paying her taxes. That's insane.

441
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 2: And then when you can't, Oh, but you'll just keep

442
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 2: paying that four hundred dollars therapy bill a month, right.

443
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,959
Speaker 3: She goes, And that's the extra weird part. She goes, Actually,

444
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,719
Speaker 3: forget I mentioned it. Since you're gonna keep paying my therapy,

445
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: I guess that's enough.

446
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 2: Not you keep paying, since you'll keep.

447
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:42,639
Speaker 3: Paying, right? Super weird? Yeah, so uh that kind of

448
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:48,680
Speaker 3: felt weird. Yeah, Like she's kindly saying, well, if you're

449
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 3: not gonna help me with this, at least keep paying

450
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 3: for my therapy so I can deal with life or

451
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: something like that. Maybe I just read too much into it. No,

452
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: you read exactly what she said. The thing is, I

453
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: have no problem helping her out. I've given her money

454
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 3: for bills and groceries when things were too tight, when

455
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 3: her mom was still alive. I gave her money for

456
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 3: her medications that she needed. I've even given her twenty

457
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 3: dollars here and there just so she could get a

458
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 3: dang Macha tea every now and again, because going without

459
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,919
Speaker 3: ways on you, and sometimes you just need to be

460
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 3: able to treat yourself to something you want.

461
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 2: So the most you should be doing is little treats.

462
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 2: That's the most you should be doing.

463
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 3: We should be tapping out at little treat anything beyond

464
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 3: little treats outside of my realm of possibilities. So it's

465
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 3: not like I'm trying to be stingy or selfish. Two

466
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 3: thousand dollars was just too much, And then the way

467
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 3: she kept coming back trying to wheedle me into giving

468
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 3: her some amount to make it just made me feel gross,

469
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 3: like I'm just a piggybank she can tap into when

470
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 3: she needs it. So now I'm trying to figure out

471
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 3: how to tell her I need to stop giving her

472
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 3: the money without hurting her or ruining our friendship. But

473
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 3: seeing as her life freakings suck so bad, should I

474
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 3: even be considering doing that? I know I'm not responsible

475
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: for her mental health health, which that's not true. You're

476
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 3: literally responsible for a mental health right now, You've made

477
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: yourself responsible for it. Yeah, so I know I'm not

478
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 3: responsible for her mental health. But if I can help her,

479
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 3: shouldn't I be am I being selfish? If I don't?

480
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 3: What if I cut her off and she hurts herself

481
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 3: or worse? Would I be the ahole if I didn't

482
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 3: keep helping her? And if I'm not the a whole?

483
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 3: How do I tell her? You're not?

484
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 2: You're the a whole if you keep stringing her along

485
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 2: like this? But it's not you should help because you

486
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: can't help. You have a reason for that money, and

487
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 2: you you can't keep giving it to her.

488
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 3: There's there comes a time when stuff like that happens. Yeah,

489
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: I used to be able to help you, Now I can't.

490
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 3: It needs to be like a I'm not helping you

491
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 3: because this is like I hate you or like I

492
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 3: don't like you. It's like I just can't keep spending

493
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 3: four hundred dollars a month on your therapy cause because

494
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 3: it feels like it's gonna just keep going.

495
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 2: And if she gets worse or if it doesn't change,

496
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 2: it like if it changes for the word, it is

497
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: not your fault that you couldn't keep paying for it,

498
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: Like her getting worse is not on you.

499
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,400
Speaker 3: It's truly, it's truly not You have some comments here

500
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 3: coming one. This personal is an emotional vampire as well

501
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 3: as a financial leech. Stop worrying about your alleged friendship

502
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 3: with her, and focus instead on the parts of your

503
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 3: life that you can control, which apparently are looking up.

504
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 3: This includes especially your new relationship and the future you

505
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 3: two will have. Your new girlfriend may be impressed with

506
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 3: how kind you have been to your friend, but as

507
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,400
Speaker 3: the relationship progresses, and as this friend continues to make

508
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 3: demands on you financially and emotionally, your girlfriend's opinion is

509
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 3: bound to change. Meanwhile, the negativity that your friend creates

510
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: around yourself and periodically dumps into your space is not

511
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 3: good for you. You need to keep her problems and

512
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 3: bad energy out of your life. She seems like a

513
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 3: professional problem have her, so that's something to consider. I mean,

514
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if professional problem have her is fair.

515
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 2: For that she's got some really just bad luck with stuff.

516
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 3: You can' spect things to suddenly turn around for her.

517
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: Opie says, Lol, Yes, my girlfriend has made it known

518
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 3: that she doesn't approve of me giving her this money,

519
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 3: even if it is a nice thing to do. In fact,

520
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 3: when I show her this post with everyone's responses, I'm

521
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 3: probably gonna get the biggest I told you so ever. Lol.

522
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 3: But she has always maintained that it's my money and

523
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 3: my friend and she would never interfere with me doing

524
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 3: what I think is right. But she thinks my friend

525
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 3: is using me too. As far as the emotional vampire

526
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,439
Speaker 3: or professional problem have her part goes, You're spot on.

527
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 3: I just have a hard time putting my foot down

528
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 3: because she has so many problems. I don't want to

529
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 3: be yet another one, you know. But in theory, I

530
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 3: agree that I need to step away from the negativity,

531
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 3: but I don't want to leave her on her own either.

532
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 2: You know, I one hundred percent was gonna say if

533
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: it hasn't affected that relationship yet, it's gonna And the

534
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 2: fact that she's making these little comments that's like, hey,

535
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 2: maybe you shouldn't be doing this for this bread Like

536
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 2: it probably bugs her a lot more than she's letting on.

537
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: And she's right that she doesn't have say over it,

538
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: but like.

539
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 3: Right, she's being like, she's trying to give you the hints, Hey,

540
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 3: you need to stop doing this. Yeah, where's my four

541
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 3: hundred dollars a month? Where's my four hundred dollars? Girlfriend? Check?

542
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 3: Not even that.

543
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 2: But I know if you're a girlfriend and you're like, hey,

544
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 2: my boyfriend is actively giving this other woman four hundred

545
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 2: dollars a month for something that's not even helping her

546
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 2: that much.

547
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comment to is is there a reason

548
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 3: she sees a four hundred dollars an hour therapist? Granted

549
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 3: I have insurance, but out of pocket cost for a

550
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 3: one hour session with no insurance is like one hundred

551
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,719
Speaker 3: and thirty bucks according to Psychology Today. Also, tons of

552
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 3: offices have sliding scales for self pay patience. Did she

553
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 3: ever ask this therapist if they offer that. I can't

554
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 3: imagine having a family member, let alone friend, spend that

555
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 3: kind of money every month where there are therapists at

556
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 3: a much lower cost. There is an update they confronted

557
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 3: their friend. I confronted my friend. I was fully prepared

558
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 3: for her to ask me to go to every other

559
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 3: week or try to guilt me, and I had a

560
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 3: response about our friendship being contingent on me giving her

561
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 3: money ready to go. But to my surprise, she said

562
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,880
Speaker 3: she understood and accepted my stance because she wasn't going

563
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 3: to therapy.

564
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 4: I don't know, we'll see.

565
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 3: We have a little bit more of the story left,

566
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: and I have a feeling we're not going to find

567
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 3: out for sure. But that response was one hundred percent.

568
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm totally fine with that because you know,

569
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 3: it doesn't really impact me because I'm not seeing a therapist.

570
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what it felt like immediately.

571
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 3: A little while later, she did send a bit of

572
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: a guilt trippy text, but I think it was more

573
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 3: just her being glum and explaining that she wasn't going

574
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 3: to be able to fix her situation. Even if I

575
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 3: disagree with her on what she's tried, I still understand

576
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 3: her position. But after this, we had a long conversation

577
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 3: about random crap we hadn't talked about in months, and

578
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 3: it was such a relief to feel back to normal.

579
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 3: I'm giving her one more two hundred dollars payment and

580
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 3: then I'm done. Okay, thank you again to everyone who

581
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 3: helped me see the light. And that is the end

582
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 3: of that story. Hey, John og host here, we're gonna

583
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 3: get back to this episode, but a quick three minute

584
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 3: break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

585
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 2: My friend treated me badly on a trip. Now I

586
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: want to send her home.

587
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 3: Send her back express mail.

588
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the Okay storytime Subredditoo. So

589
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: we have our characters Me twenty five female, my husband

590
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 2: twenty five male, Olivia twenty six female, and Sarah twenty

591
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 2: five female. Okay context. Olivia works for me, employee turned friend,

592
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: and I went to high school with Sarah and my husband.

593
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 2: I knew she wasn't economically in the best shape. It's

594
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 2: rough out there, by the way. This comes from Okay

595
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 2: conversation eighty six to fifty nine, And if you want

596
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

597
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subreddit. So we'd help her when we could,

598
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 2: paid for her to come out with us. Let her

599
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 2: have lots of flexibility at work, paid well above minimum wage.

600
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 2: The position is a minimum wage. Bosi made sure she

601
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: had decent benefits. I didn't need it because I get

602
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 2: coverage under my husband. Let her borrow one of our

603
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: vehicles I don't drive, and she would drive us around

604
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 2: for work and we would pay work for mileage, maintenance,

605
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 2: and insurance.

606
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 3: So you have done a lot for this friend.

607
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: You have done everything. She took very poor care of

608
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 2: it and it's now very damaged. We didn't ask for

609
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 2: anything in return. Maybe run me to a doctor's appointment

610
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 2: here and there. She expressed that she wanted to find

611
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 2: a different job because she didn't make enough with me

612
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 2: fair enough, and my husband offered her side gig where

613
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 2: she would be a model, as well as coming over

614
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 2: once a week to help make the designs and attend

615
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: two events on an all expenses paid trip to Europe

616
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 2: for an extra thousand dollars a month.

617
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 3: Is your husband like a fashion I think that's what

618
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 3: it is. Oh my god, fancy.

619
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 2: She wasn't satisfied with this long term and was still

620
00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,959
Speaker 2: looking for something externally.

621
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 3: That's insane. Your friend is completely ungrateful and you should

622
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 3: now do nothing for her. Yet one thousand dollars a month,

623
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 3: you're a model and you get to go to Europe

624
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 3: all expenses paid. That's still not enough for you, and

625
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 3: I'm done with you.

626
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, no problem, I'll keep my business open until she

627
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,719
Speaker 2: found something else to make sure she was okay. I

628
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 2: was wanting to shut my business anyway as I developed

629
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: a chronic illness and could no longer do the physical work.

630
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 2: There were a lot of times I felt like she

631
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 2: took advantage, but I let it go. We go to

632
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 2: two European countries for ten days with Sarah and Olivia.

633
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: My husband and I pay for the flights, hotels, and

634
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: dinners and extra things like high tea and a few outings.

635
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: Mmmm, we're going to high tea, high tea to get

636
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 3: out for high tea.

637
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: They were responsible for lunches, shopping, and any extras they

638
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: wanted to do. Olivia is being super rude and condescending

639
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 2: even before we take off anywhere. How on your all

640
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 2: expenses paid trip to Europe.

641
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 3: Well, actually they're not paying for lunch, and they're not

642
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 3: paying for my shopping.

643
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 2: Your own personal shopping spree is on you. Yeah, with

644
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: your extra thousand dollars.

645
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 3: A month, that's not good enough for her.

646
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: Uh. An example, Sarah and Olivia haven't traveled much, and

647
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 2: Sarah forgot full sized beauty products in her carry on

648
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 2: and realized after we checked her baggage. I say to her,

649
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Security will take that stuff. You're going to

650
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 2: have to buy new stuff when we land, and Olivia

651
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: jumps in rudely with they won't take it if it's

652
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 2: only partially full. I internally roll my eyes and explain

653
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 2: Security goes by what the mill leader's the bottle is,

654
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter how much liquid is actually inside it,

655
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 2: and she just tried to continue arguing. So whatever, Security

656
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 2: took the products and we moved on. This behavior continued

657
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 2: the whole trip, just really condescending and combative and treating

658
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 2: my husband and me like we have no idea what

659
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 2: we're talking about. She was also warned about tourist traps

660
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 2: and what they look like. She got trapped into nice

661
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: so she got out of the first one, but the

662
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: second one she dragged my husband in and he ended

663
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 2: up paying five hundred dollars to get out of it.

664
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 2: And then she yelled at my husband about telling his

665
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 2: wife about the situation and insulted me behind my back

666
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 2: to my husband, saying, I know how she thinks. She

667
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 2: thinks she could have spent that money on herself. YadA, YadA, YadA.

668
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 3: Uh.

669
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: I privately talked to my husband and he agrees her

670
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: behavior is outrageous. To be clear, we didn't expect her

671
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: to spend every moment with us. Just go do your

672
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 2: own thing. I don't care.

673
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 4: Just be nice.

674
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 2: That's really all I wanted was a nice friend's trip.

675
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: We finished the first leg of the trip and land

676
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 2: in our second destination and my husband pulls Olivia aside

677
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: in the airport and asks if she wanted to be there,

678
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 2: and if she didn't, there was a return flight home

679
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: for her.

680
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 3: Yes.

681
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 2: I wasn't there, so I can't really comment on how

682
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 2: this went down, but I guess Olivia was trying to

683
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 2: cause a scene and yell in the airport, and my

684
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: husband just walked away because he didn't want to be.

685
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 3: Detained exactly, which is what you do, walk away. And

686
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 3: it can even get to a point where you go,

687
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 3: you know what, Olivia, You've been so such an oppressive,

688
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 3: negative force this entire time. We don't want to spend

689
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 3: the rest of the trip with you, so we bought you.

690
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 3: We bought you your flight home, and all you're just

691
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 3: the information. If you don't take this flight, You'll have

692
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 3: to find your own way back.

693
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's this or nothing.

694
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 4: Uh oh.

695
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 2: I also found out later that she told my husband

696
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: something I told her in confidence, just to stir up crap.

697
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 2: We continue our trip and she seems normal for the

698
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 2: first few days. We're having a good time. Then she

699
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: starts bothering us for payment. She had a payday while

700
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 2: we were there, and she didn't fill her hours in

701
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 2: on our work portal. On a non working day. She asked, hey,

702
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 2: can I use your laptop? The Apple will let me

703
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 2: fill my hours in. She's supposed to fill hours daily

704
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 2: and we've talked about it, and she doesn't. She puts

705
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: all her hours in on payday, so I'm not sure

706
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: how accurate her hours have even been. I say, just

707
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 2: use the Safari browser. That's what I do, and all

708
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 2: the functions work fine. She gets argumentative and says, no,

709
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 2: it doesn't work, and I explain that I'm not talking

710
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 2: about using the app whatever. I'm done with the conversation

711
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 2: at that point, and I say I'm not dealing with

712
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,879
Speaker 2: this right now, and then she asked my husband when

713
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 2: he'll pay her. He paid her later that evening, I believe,

714
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 2: but only paid for what work she did.

715
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 3: She wait, so I guess she was getting paid on

716
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 3: this trip somehow, So she was getting paid.

717
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 2: We don't know if this is just from like work

718
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: she's done beforehand, that she just hasn't been logging, but

719
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 2: I think she did agree to do one of the

720
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: trips with.

721
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 3: The husband okay, okay, and then maybe she was like,

722
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 3: but I don't want to keep doing it because it's

723
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: not like yeah, Pan.

724
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 2: Like, oh, I'll do this for now, but I'm still

725
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 2: gonna look for something else. So she is getting paid.

726
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 2: She's only putting her hours in on payday.

727
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 3: Absolute freaking dummy that. It's like clearly OPI and her

728
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 3: husband are like just they want to try to make

729
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 3: this work and help her and like make this a

730
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 3: good situation for and she she does not care at all.

731
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, she only attended one of two events listed in

732
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 2: her contract. This was a big point of contention for her.

733
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 2: The last three days of the trip, my husband and

734
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 2: I don't see her at all. It feels like she

735
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,800
Speaker 2: was actively avoiding us. Whatever. We still hung out with Sarah,

736
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 2: A plus for Sarah. Yeah, we see Olivia for the

737
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: first time in three days, and as we're leaving the

738
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 2: hotel to catch our flight at five thirty am. She's

739
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 2: wasted and hanging off some random dude. She's been up

740
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 2: all night clubbing.

741
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 3: Whatever.

742
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 2: Live your life, but don't be loud about it and

743
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 2: make it my problem. Please. Anyway, I'm not a very

744
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 2: nice person that early in the morning, running on three

745
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 2: hours of sleep, So instead of saying anything in the taxi,

746
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 2: I just put my headphones in and chill. We get

747
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 2: to the airport and she's still club dancing and being

748
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 2: so loud. We get through with little issue.

749
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 3: I just want to really point out quickly that Op,

750
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: you are actually nice, because your version of I'm mean

751
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,479
Speaker 3: in the morning is being chill with your headphones on. Yeah,

752
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 3: that's you being mean so nice, that's normal, that's just

753
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 3: being chill. You're just a chill guy.

754
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 2: Just a chill guy crushing it. We get through with

755
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 2: little issue. I say with my husband and he tells

756
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 2: me something about her, saying something about not wanting to

757
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 2: drive the car anymore. While we were in the taxi. Confused,

758
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 2: I went to go ask her about it. The conversation

759
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 2: went like this, me, I haven't seen you in the

760
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 2: last three days. What happened, Olivia? Yeah, that was intentional. Me. Oh, why, Olivia,

761
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 2: your husband threatened me in an airport, right right? Yes?

762
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that being like you seem miserable. If you

763
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 3: want to go home, you can. It's a real thingt

764
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 3: that's that's a threat.

765
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 2: Me. Yeah, I asked him to talk to you because

766
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 2: of how you were treating everyone. You were being really rude. Olivia. Well, yeah,

767
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be at your becking call and

768
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 2: your little lap dog the whole time.

769
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 3: Me.

770
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 2: Whoa, No one said you had to spend every second

771
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 2: with us. My husband also mentioned something about the car.

772
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,439
Speaker 2: What's going on with that, Olivia? Yeah, well I don't

773
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 2: feel comfortable driving it anymore, so you can uber with

774
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: all the supplies and I'll meet you at our jobs

775
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 2: by bus Me stunned. Okay, I'm gonna find coffee. She

776
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: then starts crap talking us in the airport to other

777
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 2: random people. They would sit next to her, she starts ranting,

778
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 2: and they would leave a few minutes later, looking visibly uncomfortable,

779
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 2: and to Sarah with us sitting within ear shop, Jesus

780
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 2: a horrible person.

781
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 3: I mean it's yeah, she's a monster.

782
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 2: And now knowing that this probably is a work trip,

783
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 2: or she's in some way on your husband's payroll. Fire her.

784
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 3: You have clause, yeah, yeah, combat you can fire her.

785
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's officially broken her disparagement clause in the contract

786
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 2: she had with my husband. Finally, sit on the plane

787
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 2: and my husband sends her a termination email. Who she

788
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,240
Speaker 2: loses it? Really, we didn't need descend it on the plane.

789
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 3: Have to do it, have her get arrested by the

790
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 3: sky marshall.

791
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 2: This is why you guys don't have any friends. And

792
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 2: I quit my company, along with a lot of profanity,

793
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 2: to the point where Sarah had to say, shut up

794
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 2: before you get punted off the plane and she sits

795
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 2: and is quiet. Then she starts trying to take pictures

796
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: of us, and I hold my hand out in front

797
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 2: of her camera and said, actually, I really don't want

798
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 2: photos taken of me right now. And in response, I'm

799
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 2: just documenting everything to protect myself. And I just said

800
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 2: of us sitting on a plane anyway, she left me

801
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 2: high and dry with client appointments to do myself, doubling

802
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 2: the time it takes to complete each appointment and significantly

803
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 2: harder on my body. Great, we land and board our

804
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 2: next flight, and she's avoiding us.

805
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 3: I would want her to avoid me. If I was ope,

806
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 3: I'd be like, please avoid me.

807
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 2: I don't know why, I will say, like, she's totally

808
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 2: in the wrong and you don't need her anymore. I

809
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: don't know why you expected to still get driven to appointments.

810
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 3: But yeah, of course she was gonna leave you high

811
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 3: and drive. She's a maniac.

812
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 2: She's only caring about herself. I'm surprised she drove you

813
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 2: to them in the first place. Sarah is trying to

814
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 2: stay out of it as much as she can. We

815
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 2: land in our home airport, and she's chatting with my

816
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 2: husband about where to leave the supplies she has and

817
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 2: getting her stuff from inside the car uh which has

818
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 2: parked at our house for the duration of the trip.

819
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: And he said, go talk to Op. I have nothing

820
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: to do with this. I get a text about it

821
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 2: and I don't respond. We leave and go home. We

822
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,760
Speaker 2: email her back and forth about what happened and next steps,

823
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 2: and her story changes so many times that she starts

824
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 2: contradicting herself and eventually stops at one point claiming she

825
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 2: hadn't quit her job with me. No, she got fired.

826
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 3: You didn't quit. You got fired for acting a fool

827
00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 3: and insulting your boss to anyone who would listen to you.

828
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 2: I'm guessing there was the potential that how she was like, well,

829
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: I didn't get fired, I quit and that can change

830
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 2: if you get severance or not. Sometimes so it might

831
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: have just been the back and forth of like you

832
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 2: need to pay me those like two weeks of severance

833
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 2: or whatever, so stupid stuff.

834
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 3: Probably I would just let her spin her wheels. I

835
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 3: highly doubt this person will be able to do anything

836
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 3: in any capacity to actually harm Yeah.

837
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 2: You we have another update, But what are your thoughts?

838
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 3: I mean, we've said it all. When she shows you

839
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 3: who she is, listen to her and then don't take

840
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 3: her to Europe with your husband and.

841
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: Sarah, Yeah, don't expect anything else from her, and don't

842
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 2: keep helping her. A few days later, I messaged Sarah, Hey,

843
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 2: are you upset about what went down? I didn't get

844
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 2: a response for two weeks to the day, basically saying, yeah,

845
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 2: that was incredibly immature of you and your husband. You

846
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 2: won't be seeing me for some time. How could you

847
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 2: guys do that to a so called friend. I'm standing

848
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 2: by Olivia.

849
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 3: Wow, that's actually crazy?

850
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: What and she really shortened it down, but broadschokes are there? Great?

851
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: I lost two friends over this, So Reddit, am I

852
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 2: the a hole?

853
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: I mean, unless you told a completely fraudulent story, like, no,

854
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 3: you're not the a hole. Your friend Olivia was like

855
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 3: a petulant child.

856
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 2: Your friend Sarah also could have been hearing a wildly

857
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,879
Speaker 2: different form of this. Because Olivia is going right to her.

858
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's a chance that she could come back around,

859
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 2: but like, honestly, do you want either of you that.

860
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 3: At this point? I would just like anyone who can't

861
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 3: see that that Olivia is like, is like all right, yeah,

862
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 3: so just maybe don't take it personally with Sarah, Yeah,

863
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 3: just let it go and she'll probably come back around.

864
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 3: Be Like, if she spends any time with Olivia, I'm

865
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 3: sure she'll eventually get to a point where this happens

866
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 3: to her and she'll go, oh my god, I was wrong.

867
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 2: The whole time, or should be so sick of hearing

868
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 2: about it. That's probably all Olivia talks about. But that

869
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 2: is the end of that.

870
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is the end. You should that Let that

871
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 3: be the end of your friendship with Olivia. Yes, my

872
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,760
Speaker 3: sister in law said, I don't deserve my new home.

873
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 3: Now their family is in shambles.

874
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 4: Well, she doesn't deserve to speak.

875
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,359
Speaker 3: I'm afraid of her. My husband, thirty eight male, and

876
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 3: I thirty three female, just bought our first house. My

877
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 3: husband has a pretty high paying job. I work and

878
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 3: make a decent salary, but our budget to buy our

879
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 3: house was definitely influenced more by his earnings. By the way,

880
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,280
Speaker 3: this comes from user cat Drama on the Too Hot

881
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 3: Take subreddit, and if you want to submit your own stories,

882
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 3: why don't you go over to the r sledge Okay

883
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:40,840
Speaker 3: story time subredit. So we had his family over last week. Generally,

884
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 3: I loved his parents. They have always been really good

885
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 3: to me and their fun. I've not spent as much

886
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 3: time with his sister outside of holiday gatherings, but we

887
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 3: do have her son, the husband's nephew, stay with us

888
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 3: for a week over the summer the last few years,

889
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 3: so I know him well too, and I love him.

890
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 3: Everyone mentioned above comes over and we show them around

891
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 3: the house. At one point, I'm showing sister in law

892
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 3: the kitchenette in the basement and I say something like,

893
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 3: it's great that our house has this space now, So

894
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 3: if you want to visit us, you'll have basically a

895
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 3: whole separate apartment. And she goes, our, is it also

896
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 3: your house? I'm immediately confused, but also I guess she

897
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,399
Speaker 3: could have assumed my husband had bought it on his own.

898
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 3: So I said, yeah, we bought it together, and she goes,

899
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,720
Speaker 3: do you think you deserve to own half of this house?

900
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, we bought it together.

901
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is my husband. I don't know. I just

902
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 3: think that's crazy.

903
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 4: Well, you can keep your thoughts to yourself.

904
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think he's my husband and.

905
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 4: I think we bought it together.

906
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 3: I was shocked and I mostly panicked, and I said,

907
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 3: well I do yeah. I fled to the basement. I

908
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 3: immediately told my husband away from his family, and he,

909
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 3: in turn immediately went to talk to his sister. I

910
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 3: went to hang out with his parents and didn't say

911
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 3: anything to them, but then we heard shouting outside. My

912
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 3: husband and his sister. We're yelling at each other. I

913
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,879
Speaker 3: know people are different with their siblings, but I've never

914
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 3: really heard him yell before. I could hear him tell

915
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,479
Speaker 3: her that we don't have a prenup, and she called

916
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 3: him an idiot. I'd tell his parents what was going on.

917
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 3: And they went and intervened and left pretty quickly with

918
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 3: his sister and nephew, who didn't hear any of this

919
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 3: through the magic of video games. I think his mom

920
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 3: said sorry to me on the way out. I did

921
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 3: touch base with my husband and he was livid, like,

922
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 3: way more angry than I'd expect. He told me that

923
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 3: before we got married, his sister was the beneficiary of

924
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 3: his life insurance, and he thought she was angry over

925
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 3: essentially being removed from all his assets. We'd been married

926
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 3: for three years.

927
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 4: Does she think that she deserved that?

928
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 3: Do you think you deserve that? She apparently had texted

929
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: him about being added onto the house paperwork a few

930
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 3: weeks ago during the buying process, and he just ignored her.

931
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 3: Actually rightfully so, because that's cringe. His parents have reached

932
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 3: out to me and have been very sweet and apologetic,

933
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 3: but they really want to fix things and have asked

934
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 3: if I'll talk to sister in law. I'm trying to

935
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,800
Speaker 3: step away from it and just say it's now between

936
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 3: my husband and his sister. Is that fair? Of course,

937
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 3: I'm a bit hurt by her saying that, but at

938
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 3: the end of the day, if she has problems with

939
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 3: how he's handling his assets. That's between the two of them, right.

940
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 3: I feel really bad because his family has always been

941
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 3: so sweet, and I really love his nephew, so I

942
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 3: also want things to be fixed. There is an edit.

943
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 3: I will make an update, but we have plans to

944
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 3: chat about it today, speak to his parents, and figure

945
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 3: out how we want to go forward. I agree with

946
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 3: essentially all of you, and I'm not planning to discuss

947
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 3: it with her until she apologizes. And to answer some

948
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 3: common question, nephew's dad is not and has not been

949
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 3: in the picture for a long time. Sister in law

950
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 3: has been in and out of relationships with not the

951
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 3: best type of dudes. She is younger, and there's no

952
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 3: other siblings. Yes, there's been a pattern of her getting

953
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 3: more help from their parents, but it's because she really

954
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 3: needs it being a single mom, and my husband has

955
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 3: always been pretty independent. I promise I don't tell every

956
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: person on the street about our lack of a prenup.

957
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 3: My husband did come into the marriage with a lot

958
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 3: of assets, so I think when his friends and family

959
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 3: express curiosity about a prenup, it was coming from a

960
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 3: place of concern or care for him, and I love

961
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 3: that so it felt appropriate to share how we made

962
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 3: that decision. No one ever pushed back. I've never talked

963
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 3: to his sister about it, and I think she didn't know,

964
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 3: but my husband sort of yelled at her in anger.

965
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 3: You know, we don't even have a prenup kind of

966
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 3: way we were planning on kids, but could still keep

967
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 3: up what we are currently doing for nephew even if

968
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 3: we did. And he just became an official teenager. So

969
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 3: the college fund is close to complete at this stage.

970
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 3: We don't add much money to it anymore. It's just accruing.

971
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,879
Speaker 3: And we have some comments. But before we get into

972
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 3: those comments, what are your comments?

973
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 4: I just think that I agree with you, Opie. I

974
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 4: don't think that it's really your business to have that

975
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 4: conversation with the sister in law. I think that's absolutely

976
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 4: your partner's responsibility, because what would you even say to her,

977
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 4: Like she's like, you don't deserve that, and you're like, so, hey,

978
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 4: you remember when you said that I didn't deserve that.

979
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 4: I do.

980
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just go back to her, you go. I

981
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 3: was thinking about it. I was thinking about it really hard,

982
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 3: and it turns out I do actually deserve.

983
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 4: That, So I don't know how you would have that

984
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,720
Speaker 4: conversation because she's so clearly wrong.

985
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 3: You should go ask my husband if he thinks I

986
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,399
Speaker 3: deserve to be a part of the house. Yes, why

987
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 3: don't you go ask him?

988
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 4: That would be great comments.

989
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 3: Comment number one, what could you possibly say to your

990
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 3: sister in law? Exactly? I think you say that the

991
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 3: issue isn't really about you. It's about how sister in

992
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 3: law thinks everything that's your husband's is also hers. That's

993
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 3: something your husband needs to set straight, not you. You

994
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 3: just sit there and stay pleasant. You handle this perfectly.

995
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,720
Speaker 3: It's not your battle, and your husband has your back. Clearly.

996
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 3: Sister in law sounds insane. Ope, he says, I know

997
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 3: this is right, but it's just really frustrating. We've had

998
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 3: the awkward conversation of explaining why we don't have a

999
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 3: prenup to some friends and family, and I really don't

1000
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 3: mind getting into those topics or talking about those things,

1001
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 3: which at the end of the day, it's also like

1002
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 3: none of your business if you unless your friend is

1003
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 3: like a prenup, what's that like? If they're informed and

1004
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 3: they've made their decision, it's no one else's decision late, right,

1005
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 3: It's just can you do that proactively?

1006
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 4: You mean after the back?

1007
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, proactive would definitely be the wrong way, yactive

1008
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 3: post active.

1009
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 4: Post numbers reactively, Yeah, sure, I don't.

1010
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 3: I don't know. Can you just like make an agreement?

1011
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 3: You're like, hey, yeah, mister lawyer, I would like it

1012
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 3: so that if we split up, I get half the money.

1013
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 4: Well, it wouldn't be a prenup anymore, because.

1014
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 3: That's pre nup, a post nub a post, that's that

1015
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 3: post nub clarity post up. I know this is different

1016
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 3: because she's not coming from a place of curiosity or

1017
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 3: just wanting to understand, but it's wild to me that

1018
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 3: it jumped this quickly so suddenly when we bought a house,

1019
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 3: Coming Number two says, I don't think you need to

1020
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 3: do anything. Your husband took care of his greedy sister

1021
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 3: for you, and we have an update, so let's get

1022
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 3: into it.

1023
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 4: Only crap, y'all. I was not expecting.

1024
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 3: That much feedback. Holy holy moly, y'all. I was not

1025
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 3: expecting that much feedback. But I'm super grateful. It was

1026
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 3: really affirming and validating to read a lot of those comments,

1027
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,839
Speaker 3: and a bit humbling too. This recent move did move

1028
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,919
Speaker 3: us a little bit out of ten. So I'm still

1029
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 3: close to my social circle, but didn't immediately have someone

1030
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 3: to vent to, and you all were really helpful in

1031
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 3: that way. So update, she was secretly planning to make

1032
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 3: him disappear to get his life insurance money. Just kidding, no,

1033
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 3: not really. After talking a bunch with both my husband

1034
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 3: and his parents, we figured out a few things. He

1035
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 3: didn't tell her that he's replaced her as the beneficiary

1036
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 3: on everything because he assumed she would know that. So

1037
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 3: she had texted him during the home purchase, Hey do

1038
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 3: you need my signature on anything for this new house?

1039
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: He had messaged her back, no question mark, question mark

1040
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 3: question mark. She then essentially asked if the house was

1041
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 3: an asset set up like his life insurance, and he

1042
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 3: told her that everything is set up fine and that

1043
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,760
Speaker 3: I'm on all the paperwork, and she responded, okay, smiley face.

1044
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 3: So I do think part of this is her truly

1045
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 3: not knowing how marriage is supposed to work, and she

1046
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 3: seems to have expected there wouldn't be any change. I

1047
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 3: found out she also mentioned this with their parents, her

1048
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 3: main concern being that if something happened to my husband,

1049
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 3: I wouldn't help her son like we've been doing as

1050
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,919
Speaker 3: a couple. Mother in law and father in law say

1051
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 3: they told her not to worry and that I love

1052
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 3: our nephew, but that what was going on behind the

1053
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,760
Speaker 3: scenes before all of this. Mother in law and father

1054
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 3: in law also admitted that they may have unintentionally encouraged

1055
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 3: this because they've always really encouraged their kids to support

1056
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,720
Speaker 3: each other. But due to the various dynamics at play,

1057
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,240
Speaker 3: what that ends up being is pressure on my husband

1058
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 3: and a sort of your brother will always be there

1059
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 3: for you message to his sister. This was particularly strong

1060
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 3: in the last few years before I met and married him,

1061
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 3: because his parents thought he was planning to be a

1062
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 3: lifelong bachelor. They're not wrong in this. He definitely had

1063
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 3: that mindset at that time, and so then he and

1064
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 3: his sister really were, in their eyes, each other's lifelong person.

1065
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:43,439
Speaker 3: So the last few years there had been this level

1066
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 3: of fallout I wasn't even aware of due to that.

1067
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 4: Have we learned anything, Ah, We've learned that his sisters

1068
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 4: got weird expectations and their parents are like, yeah, but

1069
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 4: we encouraged that, yeah, and uh, they need to sit

1070
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,000
Speaker 4: the sister down and tell her what's what?

1071
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 3: Yep. Sometimes you just gotta go okay.

1072
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 4: And you don't need to be involved in any of that.

1073
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 3: Hey handle your sister her husband. Yeah, I don't know

1074
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 3: what she's on.

1075
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 4: Because it's not even like you know, she said all that,

1076
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 4: and you like got really mad at her and was like,

1077
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 4: ah no, that didn't happen. You literally were like, she

1078
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 4: was like, do you think you deserve that? And you

1079
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 4: said yes, and she's like or not and you're like, okay, bye,

1080
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:24,439
Speaker 4: and you ran away hot and dry.

1081
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 3: Pretty perfect response the whole way through. I also learned

1082
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 3: sister in law is in a not so great financial

1083
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 3: situation due to past issues. The whole family essentially refuses

1084
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 3: to give her cash, but we'll do things like by

1085
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 3: groceries or pay phone bills, et cetera. So she's been

1086
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,720
Speaker 3: struggling and I think feeling a little desperate and jealous.

1087
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 3: Oh of course, none of this is an excuse, and

1088
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 3: I'm not speaking to her until I get an apology.

1089
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 3: My husband has also said he needs at least a

1090
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 3: week or two before he speaks to her, but he

1091
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 3: does plan to. His parents are totally in agreement and

1092
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 3: understand they're going to tell her that we talked about

1093
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 3: the dynamics at play and that she needs to acknowledge

1094
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 3: what is going on here and take accountability for her

1095
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 3: part in it. So hopefully that'll start things off in

1096
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 3: the right direction. Being too understanding and too flexible has

1097
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 3: been a difficulty for me for a long time. Having

1098
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: feedback about how truly effed up the situation was was

1099
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,439
Speaker 3: really helpful for me, So thank you for me. There's

1100
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 3: a fine line between being unbothered and being a doormat,

1101
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,919
Speaker 3: and I'm definitely working on differentiating those two and that

1102
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 3: this is the end of that story.

1103
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 4: Well there you go, folks.

1104
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 3: Well that's a good that's a good. Yeah. Know when

1105
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:31,399
Speaker 3: you're being a doormat and know when you're just being

1106
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 3: a chill guy.

1107
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, sometimes you're just really not you don't need to

1108
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 4: be involved in this situation.

1109
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 3: I feel like this was a chill guy kind of moment. Yeah,

1110
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 3: just like in the moment, I'm gonna be chill about

1111
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 3: that because yeah, what okay.

1112
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I've been in a situation where a person's

1113
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 4: just like screaming at me and I'm like, I'm actually

1114
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 4: not involved in this.

1115
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like since I have no investment in this,

1116
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 3: I actually don't care. Yeah, I hope you feel better

1117
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 3: about whatever it is. I'm gonna eat out humis. Yeah,

1118
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 3: Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back these stories.

1119
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

1120
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:03,479
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

1121
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 4: My sister in law is purposefully excluding me, even my

1122
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 4: mother in law's upset at her.

1123
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 3: Everyone's mad at sister in law.

1124
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 4: So I am now officially engaged per the Indian culture.

1125
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 4: To MYESO of one point five years. We had traditional

1126
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 4: American engagement and did an Indian engagement later on to

1127
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 4: fulfill the wish of my future mother in law. Future

1128
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 4: mother in law is great and we get along extremely well,

1129
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,919
Speaker 4: and she started calling me her future daughter in law

1130
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 4: at her eldest son's wedding. By the way, this comes

1131
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 4: from randomness, butterfly, and if you want to smit your

1132
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the rs slash Okay story time

1133
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,479
Speaker 4: separate it. So her daughter in law, my future sister

1134
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,359
Speaker 4: in law is a brat. I helped her plan an

1135
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 4: American style wedding as I was a prior wedding planner.

1136
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 4: My future mother in law was overwhelmed and with how

1137
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 4: I was raised agreed to help her because honestly, she

1138
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 4: had never been to an American wedding and didn't know

1139
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,319
Speaker 4: what to do. I lived in a different state, like

1140
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,840
Speaker 4: two thousand miles away. Out to my esso, this should

1141
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:04,359
Speaker 4: be their gift because if I was to charge them

1142
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 4: my rates, it would be well expensive, as I would

1143
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 4: have to cultivate new contacts and add my travel expenses.

1144
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:14,840
Speaker 4: Moving forward, I helped put this wedding together and also

1145
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 4: was a part of the wedding party. I only asked

1146
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 4: she covered my dress as I was putting in a

1147
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 4: lot of time and getting her wedding together. She agreed

1148
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 4: to cover it, but never did and complained that the

1149
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 4: dress was two hundred and eighty dollars.

1150
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:27,240
Speaker 5: Uh.

1151
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 4: Yeah. I was so pissed because she thinks everything should

1152
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 4: be free, and I pointed out, paying for my dress

1153
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 4: will be the least she can do because I was

1154
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 4: putting her wedding together while she was in India.

1155
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 3: Isn't that sort of like the lowest expectation is ye

1156
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 3: pay for the bridesmaid's dress.

1157
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's just like she's asking for one thing. She's like,

1158
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,359
Speaker 4: I'm literally putting together your wedding for free. I did

1159
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 4: what my future mother in law asked and helped put

1160
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 4: the wedding together for including talking to vendors and putting

1161
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 4: decorations together and a backdrop for them in the reception.

1162
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 4: Also during the wedding, I was put into being a

1163
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,800
Speaker 4: host role to help my future mind in law out

1164
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 4: along with myso we pulled off a miracle with only

1165
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 4: one month to plan. I have more stories of the

1166
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 4: crazy that followed after the wedding, but this gives you

1167
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 4: an idea. So O and I are visiting for the

1168
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,320
Speaker 4: holidays after we got engaged Indian engagement in November. Future

1169
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 4: sister in law and future brother in law did not

1170
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 4: come to our engagements. My understanding is that this was

1171
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 4: not good per their culture. Instead, they drove the six

1172
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 4: hours to my future mother in law's house, cleaned and

1173
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 4: put up a new picture including a photo we all

1174
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:33,839
Speaker 4: took and that they had purposely cut me out of

1175
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 4: the photo.

1176
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:36,440
Speaker 3: Dang, they don't like you, criminal.

1177
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,279
Speaker 4: You can see my hand on my Esso's arm, but

1178
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 4: not me. I am hurt by this. I did all

1179
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 4: this work to pull off a miracle during the VID

1180
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 4: on short notice. I would like to point out we've

1181
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,879
Speaker 4: been American engaged since June. I want to call and

1182
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 4: scream at her, but I do not want to upset

1183
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,399
Speaker 4: mother in law, who is already upset because future sister

1184
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 4: in law cut me out of the photo. I am

1185
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 4: so done with her, I have pointed out I do

1186
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 4: not want her at my wedding, as she is all

1187
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 4: about the drama and I'd rather have fun. Any advice

1188
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 4: on how to handle this and some comments say One says,

1189
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,000
Speaker 4: rather than colin yell at your future sister in law,

1190
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 4: I would put her on a severe information diet. Definitely

1191
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 4: don't give her any details about your wedding. Your life

1192
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 4: is no longer any of her business. She should consider

1193
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:23,360
Speaker 4: herself lucky to get an imitation, and to be honest,

1194
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 4: that's totally up to you if you and your partner

1195
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 4: want to invite her personally. I wouldn't invite someone to

1196
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,600
Speaker 4: my wedding who took advantage of me, ignored my work

1197
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 4: for them, and snubbed me with a family photo crop.

1198
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 4: You don't have to say anything to your future mother

1199
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 4: in law. You're allowed to hold your boundaries without explanation.

1200
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 4: She might not love that her daughter is not involved

1201
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 4: with your wedding, but she also might understand. You get

1202
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:48,280
Speaker 4: to decide whom you involve in your day and how

1203
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,280
Speaker 4: Opie says so, and I already talked about low contact

1204
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 4: with both future brother in law and sister in law

1205
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 4: for other reasons before this happened. We are in a

1206
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 4: bit of a hard spot because future brother in law

1207
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 4: is the best man and cultural reasons. I know SO

1208
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 4: doesn't want to cause war with the only family he

1209
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 4: has stateside, but he also wants me to be happy

1210
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 4: and welcomed save the day it's have been sent, and

1211
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 4: I am really considering forgetting to send the invite. But

1212
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 4: Indian culture is so different. I am an outsider, but

1213
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 4: there are a lot more commons to do. You any

1214
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 4: thoughts before we get into those.

1215
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 3: I think, regardless of if it's like the right or

1216
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 3: deserved or not, I think probably play politics here until

1217
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 3: just to like Playkate the extended family. You don't want

1218
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 3: to like have the whole again it does. You're not

1219
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 3: in the wrong, of course she's in the wrong, but

1220
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 3: it's like, ah, how often are you actually gonna have

1221
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 3: to deal with this person outside of this context?

1222
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 4: It's like, well, yeah, and if it is a lot,

1223
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 4: then maybe it's like post wedding, because you're saying there

1224
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 4: are a lot of cultural reasons too that you have

1225
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 4: to invite for. Then maybe post wedding, that's when we

1226
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 4: are like, Okay, you already wanted to limit contacts, so

1227
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 4: maybe that's when we start right push me.

1228
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 3: It's a timing issue at this point, is like just

1229
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:00,120
Speaker 3: doing it in a way that doesn't turn maybe all

1230
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 3: of these people like against you in some way, Opie.

1231
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 4: That ads Right now, sister in law and brother in

1232
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 4: law are at mother in law's house and the gold

1233
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 4: framed photo of me not cut out is next to theirs.

1234
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 4: So a husband is waiting to hear how that went

1235
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 4: because his mother truly does not like sister in law.

1236
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 4: I am still very upset with mother in law, and

1237
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,400
Speaker 4: that is truly because she has allowed old beliefs to

1238
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 4: run her life. The family has made husband the scapegoat

1239
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 4: for years, and because I refuse to bend to the

1240
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 4: demands of others, I am now the problem. According to

1241
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 4: brother in law, brother in law does unfortunately influence mother

1242
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 4: in law. Old tradition states that the eldest son is

1243
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 4: like the husband to the mother. If the father is

1244
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 4: no longer in the picture, the thirty six year old

1245
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 4: second year residency in emergency medicine wanted to let his

1246
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:49,959
Speaker 4: vidsick wife into the same home that is elderly mother

1247
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:54,480
Speaker 4: whose diabetic and sibling was staying at. Yeah, I had

1248
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 4: no issue telling him he was out of line and

1249
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 4: needed to go to his place. Was the only one

1250
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:02,600
Speaker 4: who added in her right mind to say, uh no,

1251
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 4: you can't bring someone with the VID into your mom's home.

1252
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 4: Clearly you're a bad doctor. So because of that, I'm

1253
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 4: a problem. Mother in law just refuses to apologize for

1254
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 4: threatening husband in my wedding day, and I won't let

1255
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 4: them get away with brushing it under the rug. I'm

1256
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 4: almost thirty and I've had enough bs that if you're unkind,

1257
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 4: I'll just cut you off. Has been agrees and is

1258
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 4: aware I posted on Reddit. Oh, he continues, I was

1259
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 4: already not going to have her in my wedding party.

1260
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 4: I have several friends who have been through heck and

1261
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 4: back with me, and I have three other sister in

1262
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 4: laws in my family who would outrank her. Yeah, don't

1263
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 4: have the sucky one and your bridal party.

1264
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:38,919
Speaker 3: I think the whole point is that it's like kind

1265
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 3: of a kind of being forced to foisted upon her.

1266
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 4: I told my s O and he agrees, but also

1267
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 4: knows he has to be careful to not cause too

1268
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 4: many waves. He is the youngest, and we both decided

1269
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 4: we might not follow all traditions when it comes to

1270
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 4: our wedding update. Thank you all for commenting, So here's

1271
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 4: the current update. We took down the photo while staying

1272
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 4: at mother in law because it was causing so much

1273
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 4: drama and future husband knew that seeing the photo hurt me,

1274
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 4: so we asked mother in law if we could have

1275
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 4: it put out of sight for the duration of our visit,

1276
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 4: and she agreed. Future husband and I are heading back

1277
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 4: home soon, hopefully due to weather, and mother in law

1278
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 4: was very upset she would have to see the photo

1279
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 4: again because brother in law and sister in law are

1280
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 4: now suddenly wanting to visit to check on the house.

1281
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 4: Insert I roll. Yeah, I found out they're trying to

1282
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 4: make claim to mother in law's home by also saying

1283
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 4: they take care of your mom, so we should get

1284
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 4: the house. Total bs, what that's just insane. They're like, yeah,

1285
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 4: we're coming over because we want your house. I know

1286
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 4: you're alive, but we want your house.

1287
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 3: There's just no context of that, or it's like, imagine

1288
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 3: applying that to like a business context. Yeah, it's like, yeah,

1289
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 3: I've done a lot of work for the company, so

1290
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 3: I think i'd be CEO, and it's just like.

1291
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 4: Oh, the business is mine now.

1292
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 3: I mean, we appreciate what you've done. But that seems

1293
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 3: like maybe a bit of a jump.

1294
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 4: This, of course unsettled mother in law because they are

1295
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 4: acting like she's gonna pass away this year. Yeah, the

1296
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 4: sixty five year old woman who managed six properties and

1297
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 4: pre the vid traveled to India on her own every year.

1298
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1299
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 4: Sure, she's unable to take care of herself. Today, mother

1300
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 4: in law made an offhand comment, I don't want to

1301
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 4: see that photo, but I must put it back because

1302
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 4: they're coming. Yeah. I was ready to make a move.

1303
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 4: Ordered the photos sister in law cut me out of,

1304
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 4: and a bunch of other photos from future husband and

1305
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,560
Speaker 4: my engagement and engagement photos used in the announcement. Made

1306
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 4: sure I had the one photo printed out in the

1307
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 4: largest print I could get. Tonight, when to the store,

1308
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 4: got frames in gold, hers were in black, came home,

1309
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 4: put the frames together, and even let mother in law

1310
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 4: choose some of the photos to put in got three frames,

1311
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:40,040
Speaker 4: one large, one medium, and a mixed small frame, all

1312
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 4: in gold, put the photos she cut me out of

1313
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,080
Speaker 4: next to sister in laws and had mother in law

1314
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 4: choose where the other frames should go. Ladies and gentlemen,

1315
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 4: My mother in law was so pleased. I think I

1316
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:53,280
Speaker 4: gained more favor as she put the photos near the

1317
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,720
Speaker 4: TV and fireplace. At this moment, future husband is happy

1318
01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 4: and I am too. I'll update when this progresses, but

1319
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 4: wanted to let you all know before we head back

1320
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 4: to our two thousand.

1321
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 3: Mile home way way home.

1322
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 4: I will update as this progresses, but wanted to let

1323
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,640
Speaker 4: you all know before we had my home Update two.

1324
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:14,040
Speaker 3: I think all of this comes down to, like, you know,

1325
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 3: there's a lot of nitty gritty little political intrigues going

1326
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 3: on here. Me personally, I don't have the energy for

1327
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 3: any of that. I just will stop caring. That's just me,

1328
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 3: though I'm not saying that that's what you should do.

1329
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 3: Like if I'm like, all right, and now the ungrateful

1330
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:30,919
Speaker 3: sister in law cut me out of the photo, Okay,

1331
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 3: I don't care. Yeah, a distance sister in law is ungrateful.

1332
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 3: I don't care. Likes you guys, right, that's the only

1333
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 3: one that really matters. Yeah, because mom like me, his

1334
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:45,480
Speaker 3: dad like me. Whatever, and there we go check check boom.

1335
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 3: So kill them with kindness.

1336
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 4: Update two. So this is an update regarding the actions

1337
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:52,919
Speaker 4: of my fiance's sister in law who has literally cut

1338
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 4: me out of a group photo. I was not only

1339
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,560
Speaker 4: her bridesmaid, but her wedding planner. So wow, these two

1340
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 4: months have been busy. My love and fiance has started

1341
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 4: a new job that we are both so happy and

1342
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 4: excited about, and we both realized we can be debt

1343
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 4: free and afford the things we really want for our

1344
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 4: big day, as well as help out some of our

1345
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 4: wedding party who might need a little assistance. It is

1346
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 4: important to note that we've chosen not to inform sister

1347
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 4: in law and brother in law, as brother in law

1348
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 4: is notorious for asking for a loan and never paying

1349
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 4: back or having mother in law pay his debts to

1350
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,920
Speaker 4: my fiance. I have the shiny backbone to say no,

1351
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 4: and thankfully my fiance found his and has been echoing

1352
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,240
Speaker 4: the same. Brother in law is becoming a doctor and

1353
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 4: will be in his third year of residency by the

1354
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 4: time our wedding occurs. Needless to say, fiance was asked

1355
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 4: by brother in law via mother in law to see

1356
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:42,479
Speaker 4: if he can borrow one of our cars. He told

1357
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 4: mother in law no, and even said he would check

1358
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:47,240
Speaker 4: with me as we are already going to be having

1359
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:49,320
Speaker 4: a lot of my family coming in. I agreed with

1360
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 4: the no by pointing out that they can afford to

1361
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:55,040
Speaker 4: rent a car, especially after we rented a large SUV

1362
01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:57,200
Speaker 4: for a thorough wedding when we could have gotten a

1363
01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 4: small car. I also pointed out that one of my

1364
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 4: brothers is financially tight, being a single income with kids

1365
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 4: and his wife being permanently disabled. We both agreed he

1366
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 4: needs one of our cars more than his brother, who

1367
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 4: was a bloody doctor and has no problem flaunting their

1368
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 4: purchases on the insta.

1369
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, I'm like, uh, you guys can afford it,

1370
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 3: especially but regardless of if they can even afford it, Like,

1371
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 3: I think it's just the principle of like what what

1372
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 3: happened with the wedding was so inherently like ungrateful. It's like,

1373
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 3: why would I give you anything?

1374
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:31,040
Speaker 4: Exactly?

1375
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 3: I did all this stuff for you and all I

1376
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 3: got back was nothing.

1377
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 4: Not a Also, my brother has agreed to help get

1378
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:40,440
Speaker 4: mother in law to and from places as a favor

1379
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 4: to use one of our cars, which is a win

1380
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 4: for us. So, as we all noticed, weddings are expensive,

1381
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:47,560
Speaker 4: and I managed to build a bit of a business

1382
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,000
Speaker 4: relationship with one of the Indian shops in my area.

1383
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 4: The owner was willing to cut me a deal if

1384
01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 4: I could get the men's measurements asap while he's in India,

1385
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:58,400
Speaker 4: so we could pay lower labor costs. Fiance sent the

1386
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 4: group of groomsmen, including his brother, the list of measurements needed.

1387
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 4: All but his brother got us the measurements within a week.

1388
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,680
Speaker 4: This last weekend was the deadline we gave the groom's

1389
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:09,120
Speaker 4: men to get us the measurements so my contact can

1390
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 4: get the outfits made on time to come back. Fiance

1391
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,840
Speaker 4: gets a call from his brother and now this is

1392
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:16,440
Speaker 4: what I know of the conversation. Keep in mind his

1393
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,880
Speaker 4: brother should be lucky I was not near when this happened. Beyonce, Hey,

1394
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 4: did you get your measurements?

1395
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:21,400
Speaker 3: Brother?

1396
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:21,920
Speaker 2: No?

1397
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 4: Uh, I've been kicking the can because you and OPI

1398
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,880
Speaker 4: upset Dad. Fiance, what are you talking about? When did

1399
01:05:27,960 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 4: we do that? Brother? I just know Dad has been

1400
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 4: crying and upset because of what OPI said and said

1401
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 4: something about having to pay half the wedding. Do you

1402
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 4: know anything about that, Beyonce, What are you talking about?

1403
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:40,400
Speaker 4: We never talked about the wedding to dad. Brother. Well,

1404
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 4: any woman who offends my family, no matter who she is,

1405
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:47,480
Speaker 4: isn't welcomed. I hope you choose better. My fiance was

1406
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 4: so bothered he called me right away and told me

1407
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 4: I lost it. How dare they give him an ultimatum?

1408
01:05:54,520 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 4: My mother heard me and told my fiance to come

1409
01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 4: over and we could go over the conversation. He said

1410
01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 4: he needed to pay ups and groceries, but should be

1411
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:04,160
Speaker 4: over within the hour. In the process, his mother called

1412
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 4: and asked if he talked to brother in law and

1413
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 4: he said yes, but was very bothered by the call

1414
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 4: and would call back once my fiance came over. I

1415
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,280
Speaker 4: was still mad and upset after we talked. My fiance

1416
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,440
Speaker 4: was so done with the drama of his brother and

1417
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 4: he was not happy with any woman comment. He called

1418
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 4: up his mom and told her that due to the

1419
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:23,560
Speaker 4: drama and with what he has on is played alone,

1420
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 4: ye had to remove brother in law from the lineup,

1421
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,800
Speaker 4: and as best man is still invited to the wedding,

1422
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 4: but isn't allowed to be in the wedding party.

1423
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you Yeah, if you tell me I shouldn't

1424
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,560
Speaker 3: marry my wife, you're not going to be my best man.

1425
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:38,919
Speaker 4: Nope, Why would I want you next to me while

1426
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 4: I'm marrying the person you don't like.

1427
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 3: I'm going to put you in the back and make

1428
01:06:42,840 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 3: you the worst man.

1429
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 4: Worst man of the wedding. His mother at this point

1430
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 4: agrees and proceeds to call his brother and tell him,

1431
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 4: at which brother in law kept asking if this was

1432
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:55,480
Speaker 4: my fiance's decision only and I had no influence on this.

1433
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:58,480
Speaker 4: My fiance pointed out to him that as his wife,

1434
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,080
Speaker 4: of course I will always in influence him, but it's

1435
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:04,040
Speaker 4: still his decision and he will always choose to protect me,

1436
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 4: and it was his choice to remove brother in law

1437
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,880
Speaker 4: from the wedding. His brother sounded fine. We went about

1438
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:12,000
Speaker 4: our day as we had other things to do. In

1439
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,880
Speaker 4: the process, I remembered recording the conversation we had with

1440
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 4: his dad as we'd been trying to solve what was

1441
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:19,920
Speaker 4: said to upset him. We listened to that call and

1442
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:23,160
Speaker 4: nothing was said other than we are not responsible for

1443
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:26,440
Speaker 4: other people's choices, nor are they responsible for ours. We

1444
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:29,120
Speaker 4: did this calmly and honestly. I was impressed with myself

1445
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:31,680
Speaker 4: for keeping my temper down, so we kept this in

1446
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 4: our back pocket. That night, fiance and mother in law

1447
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 4: talked and she does this whole one eighty about how

1448
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:40,120
Speaker 4: dare he not involve his brother and even threatens to

1449
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 4: not come. She and I share some words, but how

1450
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 4: dare she manipulate her youngest because her oh, this is

1451
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 4: being a brat like his wife, and she showed respect

1452
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 4: the fact we want no drama. He and her of

1453
01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:52,880
Speaker 4: these on and off phone calls and ended up making

1454
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,400
Speaker 4: her promise no matter what, that she'll come and let

1455
01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 4: us handle this. The next day, his father calls. We

1456
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,280
Speaker 4: really didn't want to take this calls. We both know

1457
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 4: his father loves to manipulate fiance, as we both witnessed

1458
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 4: it from the recording, So fiance puts it on speakers

1459
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:08,800
Speaker 4: so I and my mother can hear. Hey, Dad, what

1460
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:11,120
Speaker 4: was brother in law talking about that you were upset over?

1461
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:11,640
Speaker 3: Dad?

1462
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:15,080
Speaker 4: Oh, paus, my son, I'm upset because you and a

1463
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 4: OP are getting a prenup agreement and she'll take your

1464
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:21,160
Speaker 4: money away when you make more money. I about blew up,

1465
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 4: and my mom signaled to me to be quiet and listen. Fiance,

1466
01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 4: where are you hearing that there is no prenup? Dad?

1467
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 4: She'll take you to the cleators.

1468
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 3: She'll take more than half your incum, make you broke.

1469
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:35,439
Speaker 3: You'll lose your incup, your life everything. Learn from me, son,

1470
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 3: don't do this.

1471
01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:38,920
Speaker 4: It was clear they have no idea what a prenup

1472
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,880
Speaker 4: is and are clearly speaking out of line. Fiance, Dad,

1473
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:44,679
Speaker 4: there's no prenup. There's never been one drafted and whoever

1474
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:46,680
Speaker 4: you got this from is wrong. Tell brother in law

1475
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:49,600
Speaker 4: needs to check his facts before spreading rumors about me

1476
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:53,559
Speaker 4: and OP. I'm done with this conversation ended call boom.

1477
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:56,160
Speaker 4: At this point we confirm we were being gas lit

1478
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:59,320
Speaker 4: and manipulated. We both agreed it's us against the world

1479
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:03,040
Speaker 4: and as many say Efham. That night, fiance and mother

1480
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 4: in law talked and she does this whole one eighty

1481
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:08,240
Speaker 4: again about how daring not involve his brother and even

1482
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:11,440
Speaker 4: threatens to not come and even dares us to postpone

1483
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 4: the wedding. I was shattered, as I had this experience

1484
01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:16,799
Speaker 4: before and ended up being left at the altar because

1485
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:20,599
Speaker 4: my ex chose his mother day. My fiance was livid

1486
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 4: and told his mom, I am marrying op on our

1487
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 4: wedding date and if you do not support us, that's fine.

1488
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:28,280
Speaker 4: We'll get married without you there, which I'm glad he

1489
01:09:28,320 --> 01:09:30,559
Speaker 4: stood up to his mom, but my heart was broken.

1490
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 4: They did this whole phone on and off thing for

1491
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:36,479
Speaker 4: a few hours. We figured she'd call fiance, then brother

1492
01:09:36,479 --> 01:09:39,799
Speaker 4: in law. That fiance she plays peacekeeper instead of peace maker,

1493
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:43,439
Speaker 4: but doesn't let sleeping dogs lie. And there's a little

1494
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:46,320
Speaker 4: bit left to this story, but too many final thoughts.

1495
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 3: Dude, like raise you know, I get like, you know

1496
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:52,120
Speaker 3: this is a cultural issue. It seems like partially that

1497
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:54,679
Speaker 3: it's like you know, it has to be and happen

1498
01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:57,680
Speaker 3: a certain way, and it's like you know, family politics

1499
01:09:57,760 --> 01:09:59,559
Speaker 3: and cultural expectations and.

1500
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:04,080
Speaker 6: All that, And I say, okay, no, like if at

1501
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 6: this point it seems like you guys are like sick

1502
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:10,000
Speaker 6: of everyone, so it's like even trying to acquiesce all

1503
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,920
Speaker 6: of the cultural stuff, it's like you don't even you

1504
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 6: don't want any of them.

1505
01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:15,280
Speaker 3: There if I if I get to a point where

1506
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 3: I'm forced to choose between the peace of me and

1507
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:22,920
Speaker 3: my partner, Yeah, versus like coalescing to like the expectations

1508
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:24,960
Speaker 3: of others. I'm always going to pick peace.

1509
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:25,599
Speaker 4: Peace.

1510
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 3: I'm always going to pick peace.

1511
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 4: Take the piece, choose the piece.

1512
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:30,000
Speaker 3: And this was not very peaceful.

1513
01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:32,720
Speaker 4: No, but let's finish the story off. She wanted to

1514
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:34,880
Speaker 4: talk to me, and my fiance said no, and that

1515
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:36,840
Speaker 4: it was not a good idea because she wouldn't like

1516
01:10:36,880 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 4: the results, which was right. I was done playing nice

1517
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:41,599
Speaker 4: and would have called her by my ex's mother's name.

1518
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:44,920
Speaker 4: After the phone calls ended, we both agreed it's us

1519
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:47,400
Speaker 4: against the world, and thank god we have my parents,

1520
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:50,280
Speaker 4: who said you guys need not listen to any parent

1521
01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:52,800
Speaker 4: once you agreed to be married. We know what you're

1522
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,040
Speaker 4: going through and just know we love you both and

1523
01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:57,120
Speaker 4: support you. We will make sure you both get down

1524
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,800
Speaker 4: that aisle and get married. My dad, who honestly has

1525
01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:02,200
Speaker 4: been more of a father to my fiance than his dad,

1526
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:04,720
Speaker 4: told them you're my son and no one's gonna get

1527
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:07,320
Speaker 4: away with hurting you or my daughter. There will be

1528
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:09,800
Speaker 4: a day of reckoning and you two only need to

1529
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,280
Speaker 4: worry about your relationship with each other in what flavor

1530
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 4: of cake you want. I so love my parents and

1531
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:18,080
Speaker 4: I'm glad we have them to support us and provide

1532
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:20,519
Speaker 4: us a safe space. So wedding is still on and

1533
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:23,599
Speaker 4: Fiances informed me his mother did apologize, but he pointed

1534
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,200
Speaker 4: out she needed to apologize to me and to let

1535
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:28,160
Speaker 4: me cool down. It's been a lot and he has

1536
01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,960
Speaker 4: wondered if others have experienced the same. Right now, we've

1537
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,680
Speaker 4: been doing self care by taking dance lessons nice and

1538
01:11:33,800 --> 01:11:36,120
Speaker 4: talking with our pastor as to how to handle this

1539
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:39,479
Speaker 4: with respect and folks, that's the end of that story,

1540
01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:44,880
Speaker 4: Yes it is, and the end of this episode respectfully, respectfully,

1541
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:48,680
Speaker 4: So we love you and Sitamoorrow