Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of Iheartradioy Elizabeth Dutton.
Speaker 2: I'm good, okay, well quite frankly, I'm good. How about you?
Speaker 3: How are you not good? Bob? No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: I just like to say that I do have a
Speaker 3: question for you. You know what's ridiculous?
Speaker 2: I do fifth degree theft, and I'm just kidding. What's
Speaker 2: ridiculous is okay? You know how like you go on
Speaker 2: you know how you go on vacation sometimes, Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I have done You've done.
Speaker 3: That a long time ago, and I've done that. It's
Speaker 3: a new thing, but I've been doing that.
Speaker 2: And you know, people buy souvenirs and you're like a
Speaker 2: collector guys, I like, do you get souvenirs?
Speaker 3: I sometimes buy souvenirs, like yeah, But oftimes I will
Speaker 3: just I have to admit this. I'll like grab a
Speaker 3: rock and keep a rock.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've done that.
Speaker 3: I try not to take something really pretty.
Speaker 2: But I'm a little Yeah, I do that. I usually
Speaker 2: get try and get a magnet.
Speaker 3: That's dope. That's fun. But I'm on the side of
Speaker 3: the that's totally fun.
Speaker 2: My mom gets mugs and so sometimes vacation and rub
Speaker 2: it in her face by getting her a mug.
Speaker 3: She loves that collection of face rubs.
Speaker 2: And if they have you know what I love. They
Speaker 2: don't seem to have him around very much anymore. Match Books,
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've got a lot of Yeah, I have
Speaker 2: a lot from like old fool.
Speaker 3: Restaurants, old bars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, So match books. I've never been to
Speaker 2: Lake Como in Italy.
Speaker 3: Lives there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean he's invited me so many times.
Speaker 3: It's very, very deep that lake.
Speaker 2: No, it's about three feet deep. It's the whole thing.
Speaker 3: No, it's ridiculous. It's really shallows three.
Speaker 2: Feet at the center. And George is like, Elizabeth, you
Speaker 2: got to come out. And I'm like, I haven't got over.
Speaker 2: Have a busy on the go lifestyle many and anyway.
Speaker 2: But I was like thinking about it, like if I
Speaker 2: went to Lake Como and I waded out to the
Speaker 2: middle of the thing, what souvenir would I get myself?
Speaker 3: What what souvenir from my trip to from from the
Speaker 3: middle of the lake, or just to remember your.
Speaker 2: Time in general? Maybe aside from like George klean.
Speaker 3: About how about a hand painted wine bottle?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, sure they do so no Zaren.
Speaker 3: That's not what I would.
Speaker 2: Go to one of the you know, handful of shops
Speaker 2: they have les are in Como is a little shop.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's something of the.
Speaker 2: But there's a handful in that sell a very specific
Speaker 2: souvenir and it's one hundred authentic from Lake Como. Oddly enough,
Speaker 2: the can is in English. Okay, it's a can of
Speaker 2: Lake Como air. What fresh air trapped in a can?
Speaker 2: I mean, they're kind of cool looking cans.
Speaker 3: Right, WHOA they've been doing that from Canada.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a Canada, does it? They actually in just
Speaker 2: after World War Two in Naples, Napoli, there was a
Speaker 2: guy who was taking old US war ration cans and
Speaker 2: saying it's air from Naples and selling it. So yeah,
Speaker 2: but like this, they don't sell it online. You have
Speaker 2: to go, I mean, come on, otherwise, what's the point. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you can just crack it and huff it, and
Speaker 2: it's got all the same qualities, all the ingredients that
Speaker 2: listen like ninety eight percent nitrogen et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 3: But then so one breath of air, but then point.
Speaker 2: Zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent of it
Speaker 2: of it lake Como secret formula?
Speaker 3: Is that on the can?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Really, it's right here. Look I don't have the
Speaker 2: can at the website. And you know what that is?
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 2: That is one George Clooney Pubican. Oh god, and that,
Speaker 2: my friends, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of things.
Speaker 2: It's a lot going on right there.
Speaker 3: You know what else is ridiculous besides that? Tell me
Speaker 3: performance enhancing drugs?
Speaker 2: Oh? I thought you're still talking about the can.
Speaker 3: No, I'm leaving that fast behind. We were talking recently,
Speaker 3: you me, producer, do you about microdosing PCP?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: This is kind of like the opposite of that.
Speaker 2: I say microdose everything? Why not a little bit here there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's tiny bits? How could it hurt? But you know,
Speaker 3: like in some sports, right, people take drugs to cheat,
Speaker 3: like crack. Well, yes, gif you're the eighty six mets,
Speaker 3: But like for other people, it's like steroids, blood doping.
Speaker 2: Epo let's epos.
Speaker 3: I had him to a second.
Speaker 2: It's a is it made of crickets?
Speaker 3: I believe it's an enzyme and it helps with the
Speaker 3: blood absorption of oxygen.
Speaker 2: I take digestive enzymes. Is that? What that is?
Speaker 3: Very similar, but there's also the clear in the cream.
Speaker 3: Remember berry bonds Berry, Yeah, exactly. Well, there have been
Speaker 3: a lot of stories we know of athletes using a
Speaker 3: chemical advantage. Lance Armstrong comes to mind. Right, most of
Speaker 3: these stories aren't ridiculous. Some of them obviously are totally
Speaker 3: But today, Elizabeth, I have a story for you about
Speaker 3: a guy who, uh, well, he entered a magic the
Speaker 3: Gathering tournament and he competed. Elizabeth. He's a he's an
Speaker 3: E sports athlete or whatever I guess get tabletop sports athlete. Anyway,
Speaker 3: he did this well high on psychedelic mushrooms. My god,
Speaker 3: that was his performance and anting drugs. Now, some folks
Speaker 3: may not count magic mushrooms as a performance anting drug,
Speaker 3: but just you wait, this is ridiculous crime a podcast,
Speaker 3: aboubsurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons always ninety nine
Speaker 3: percent murder free and one percent ridiculous.
Speaker 2: All right, Zaren, I am now convinced that you have
Speaker 2: been putting together a.
Speaker 4: List all the things in the world that irritate and
Speaker 4: cringe me out because you said magic gathering an e
Speaker 4: sports and now I'm just gonna you tell the story.
Speaker 3: I'm going to keep ripping my hair out, and and
Speaker 3: people on shrooms doing it, you know, doing it to
Speaker 3: like get over on other people like you and magic
Speaker 3: and chaos. I'm all shroom.
Speaker 2: I like agents of chaos. Oh my god, Daren.
Speaker 3: Gathering un I think you know, it's it's ridiculous to
Speaker 3: watch if they do these things that they do. When
Speaker 3: I say the words that I say, Have you ever
Speaker 3: eaten magic mushrooms? Elizabeth sideways on shrooms?
Speaker 2: I know there's like a church here in Oakland.
Speaker 3: Do they get a sacrament? They have it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they have around the law candy bars and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but they usually put it in chocolate because it
Speaker 3: doesn't taste good. Oh really, yeah, I've eaten my fair share,
Speaker 3: sure you have. I liked them at first. They were dope.
Speaker 3: They were fun. Sometimes it was super laughy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: The times is like you know, of hilarious or other
Speaker 3: times it's very sensual, like you have visual distortions, auditory hallucinations.
Speaker 3: Music gets extra lush, uh, fabrics, materials. They become that mesmerizing.
Speaker 2: It's it's interesting, right and into a delicious portobello mushroom sandwich.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just give you this just a little, a little,
Speaker 3: a little more, just a little extra maybe that if
Speaker 3: it was rotten, like if it was bad, maybe we
Speaker 3: can get close. But honestly, Elizabeth, I don't really like mushrooms.
Speaker 3: I don't do shrooms anymore. They make my stomach sick.
Speaker 2: So that I know, I've yea.
Speaker 3: I spent my first three hours basically doubled over and paying.
Speaker 2: Going sensitive tummy to begin with.
Speaker 3: Yes, I do, yes, but for me, it's like, hey,
Speaker 3: give me LSD now we're talking. But I'm not advocating
Speaker 3: for anybody else, right, But Elizabeth, do you know the
Speaker 3: history of people getting twisted on that?
Speaker 2: I would imagine it goes back to like the druids
Speaker 2: foraging around and digging up into cow poop.
Speaker 3: Is even older than that.
Speaker 2: I imagine it would go back to the caveman like
Speaker 2: hopping on a wooly mammoth. I imagine it.
Speaker 3: Went back to hold my fire stick. So it turns
Speaker 3: out streams were one of the first drugs we ever liked. Right,
Speaker 3: Our first and oldest drug of choice was pot, Like
Speaker 3: we've been dealing with pot forever, yeah, but then we
Speaker 3: got into beer like around four thousand years ago, huh.
Speaker 3: But with shrooms we started doing that about. It depends
Speaker 3: on where you look. There's there's rock art in Algeria
Speaker 3: that shows people eating shrooms and getting twisted, and that
Speaker 3: dates to about seven thousand, nine thousand BC, which would
Speaker 3: put that at about nine thousand to eleven thousand years ago,
Speaker 3: almost three times as long as we've been or two
Speaker 3: times depending how you count it, as long as we've
Speaker 3: been drinking beer beer.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 3: There's also rock art in Spain that suggests mushrooms were
Speaker 3: a key component of ancient religion rituals, so like some
Speaker 3: of our like our caveman religions. Right, so this was
Speaker 3: a four thousand BC, right, so about six thousand years ago.
Speaker 3: But the real champion mushroom chewers out there are found
Speaker 3: in Mexico, Central America, and in North America up in
Speaker 3: here the Pacific Northwest. They got a bus right now,
Speaker 3: there's the Aztec. They had this word and I will
Speaker 3: probably pronounce this incorrectly, but I will try tao nut coal.
Speaker 3: I can try that faster ten nutscle. Anyway, it literally
Speaker 3: means the divine mushroom. And I apologize for my pronunciation.
Speaker 3: I'm terrible at that. But the Spanish conquistars when they arrived.
Speaker 3: The monks. They documented how they are all these mushroom
Speaker 3: meeting folks, and they had these strange effects when they
Speaker 3: eat these mushrooms. And they had no experience with this
Speaker 3: because even though there were cave arts in Spain, they'd
Speaker 3: forgotten all about this because of religion. Right, So they're like,
Speaker 3: what are they doing? So these men of God they
Speaker 3: chalk up the effects of this mushroom, of course, to
Speaker 3: communion with the demons and the devils.
Speaker 2: They're just jamming out on Mexican loops hours sitting there
Speaker 2: in a cozy curta.
Speaker 3: The conquistitter's coming along. What's the meaning of this? So
Speaker 3: the mushrooms they get banned as the drug of pagans,
Speaker 3: shamans and other idolators. Right, So this doesn't stop people
Speaker 3: from getting wicked with the shrooms. So it keeps going,
Speaker 3: keeps going. Eventually, in the eighteen hundreds, European scientists finally
Speaker 3: discover the mushrooms. They're like, hey, wait a minute, what
Speaker 3: is this?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: There's an interesting memorable introduction though, because one of the
Speaker 3: first scientists to discover the we'll say the psychedelic aspects
Speaker 3: of the mushroom did so by accident. So there's this
Speaker 3: man in London. He was accidentally serving magic mushrooms to
Speaker 3: his family for breakfast. I'm guessing about forty minutes later,
Speaker 3: the family was having the strangest morning of their natural
Speaker 3: born lives.
Speaker 2: In an actual English fry up.
Speaker 3: Exactly like the beans are moving. So if someone had
Speaker 3: to call for a doctor, as they called themselves at
Speaker 3: the time, an apothecary. Right, because this is seventeen ninety nine, Okay, right,
Speaker 3: this gets written up in the London Medical and Physical journals.
Speaker 2: They got like high heel shoes of buckle, big buckle, baby.
Speaker 3: So this apothecary went to work to save the family
Speaker 3: from their hallucinations and delusions and so forth. The youngest boy,
Speaker 3: he's the most difficult to come around, right, he and
Speaker 3: I found this. They said he had loved eating. He
Speaker 3: he was just nibbling. So this kid, he apparently quote
Speaker 3: was attacked with fits of immoderate laughter, nor could the
Speaker 3: threats of his father or mother refrain him. So yeah,
Speaker 3: they're threatening him with the buckle belts and the shoes
Speaker 3: and they're like we will beat you with an into
Speaker 3: your life. Stop laughing, boy, he can't stop it. It's
Speaker 3: the mushrooms. So after that early introduction magic mushrooms, they
Speaker 3: pretty much mostly remain a Meso American drug. Right, it
Speaker 3: doesn't really bubble up because they're like, I don't want
Speaker 3: my boy gibbering like an idiot like that, So it
Speaker 3: doesn't It's not like cocaine. When they discover it, they're like,
Speaker 3: now this is a good drug.
Speaker 2: So I would imagine that they would they would equate
Speaker 2: it with the you know, sort of liked being possessed. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so that it's not you know, when they get
Speaker 2: all coked up in they acts not.
Speaker 3: Good for business, you know, I mean really Western drug
Speaker 3: takers for the most it's either you want escapist or
Speaker 3: you want good for business. So it's cocaine, caffeine, or
Speaker 3: it's like you know, heroin and pot.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: So anyway, nineteen fifty five, a paaras scientist, they attend
Speaker 3: an indigenous mushroom ceremony in Mexico. They document it all
Speaker 3: because they're scientists or ethnobiologists, and they write up the
Speaker 3: story of their time in the jungle and about getting
Speaker 3: twisted in. The stories and photos they get published in
Speaker 3: Life magazine. In nineteen fifty seven, Elizabeth. Can you guess
Speaker 3: who just happened to read that Life magazine article? And
Speaker 3: we go on to change the world because of it.
Speaker 3: Just imagine them, like, I don't know, in a dentist's
Speaker 3: office picking up an old copy. What is this?
Speaker 2: Thomas P Magic, Founder, the Magic, the Gathering carts.
Speaker 3: No Timothy Leary?
Speaker 2: Oh okay.
Speaker 3: So he reads this Life magazine all about the mushroom
Speaker 3: rituals in Mexico and he's like, huh, how soon can
Speaker 3: I get down to Old Mexico Way? And of course
Speaker 3: he bounces down there and he finds the mushrooms. He
Speaker 3: eats a bunch, flips his lid, loves it, opens his
Speaker 3: head up, airs it out right, let's the Holy Universe
Speaker 3: come rushing in. He's like, oh my god, I'm a
Speaker 3: psych go not and then he goes back to the US.
Speaker 3: Newborn psychonot goes back to Harvard, where he is a professor,
Speaker 3: right right, young professor though, so he and his partner
Speaker 3: Richard Alpert, they start the Harvard Psilocybin Project, like we're
Speaker 3: going to study this scientifically, even though just don't talk
Speaker 3: to Tim too much about it, right, So at this
Speaker 3: point it's totally legal to experiment with mushrooms. Nobody has
Speaker 3: the rules about this, right, this is nineteen sixty ish.
Speaker 3: The rules will come around sixty four to sixty five.
Speaker 3: They'll make it illegal sixty eight I think. Anyway, the
Speaker 3: point being mushrooms and payoty all that stuff is basically illegal,
Speaker 3: so they're playing around. Timothy Leary starts giving prisoners magic
Speaker 3: mushrooms to see if it helps them, like remake who
Speaker 3: they are, like it happened to him down in Mexico, right,
Speaker 3: So six months after that he finds that shrooms did
Speaker 3: in fact help the prisoners. Recidivism falls by forty percent.
Speaker 2: Interesting.
Speaker 3: I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 2: I've heard a lot about, you know, people treating complex
Speaker 2: PTSD totally it, and it's fascinating to me this notion
Speaker 2: of how you kind of rewire them.
Speaker 3: Reset a lot of the connections, revalue and rewait some
Speaker 3: of them.
Speaker 2: I've never done any psychedelics or hallucinogens because I'm so
Speaker 2: afraid that I'll lose my mind and not be able
Speaker 2: to get back there.
Speaker 3: Actually is a moment the first time you do it
Speaker 3: where you go well, I always think like this, Yes,
Speaker 3: almost everybody has that moment and the answer is No.
Speaker 2: I am like a hairline fracture away from just losing
Speaker 2: it and already, and I don't need that PoTA cup cract.
Speaker 3: So at this point we have Timothy Leary, right, and
Speaker 3: he's like, who else can I give these mushrooms to
Speaker 3: besides the prisoners? So he starts going, well, grad students there,
Speaker 3: they have to listen to me. So he gets these
Speaker 3: grad students from the Divinity Program, that second program of like,
Speaker 3: let me give these mushrooms to these people. See how
Speaker 3: it plays out. Doesn't go so well, right, because these
Speaker 3: people they're not prisoners, they're like grad students. So they
Speaker 3: write their own records. They think it's controversy, Elizabeth. It
Speaker 3: blows up in their face. Both Larry and Richard Alpert.
Speaker 3: They get kicked out of Harvard, right, So they lose
Speaker 3: their prestigious jobs. Now we're in nineteen sixty three. Can
Speaker 3: know what happens next? Tim Leary goes west, launches this
Speaker 3: acadelic revolution in California. We've talked about that bus, the
Speaker 3: Brotherhood of the Eternal Love, right, Okay, so back to mushrooms.
Speaker 3: The next big pioneer is inspired by Larry Terrence McKenna
Speaker 3: right in sixty seven, he's in Berkeley, he's a student
Speaker 3: at cal He's heard all about this, and that's where
Speaker 3: he decides to get into his quote opium and cabal phase. So,
Speaker 3: in other words, he starts studying Tibetan folk religion and
Speaker 3: smoking opium. Then he decides to travel to Jerusalem and see,
Speaker 3: like how those ancients got high in the desert. Right,
Speaker 3: So then he's like, it's good. Sixty nine, he bounces
Speaker 3: over to ne Pall see how people get high in
Speaker 3: the Himalayan planes? Right, He's like, hey, what are you
Speaker 3: shaman smoking? Right? So then at this point he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: how do I afford all this? I'm just this student
Speaker 3: bumbling around. He's like, okay, I'll get into drug smuggling,
Speaker 3: which seems like that's the move in the late sixties,
Speaker 3: I think. So everyone's like, oh, I want to see
Speaker 3: more of this world. I'll get into drug smuggling.
Speaker 2: Right. It's great, you know, and you can pick up
Speaker 2: all sorts of souvenirs, you.
Speaker 3: Meet interesting people, you know. So he gets involved, just
Speaker 3: like the Brotherhood Eternal Love in terms of moving various,
Speaker 3: like the product is hashish opium. Everything out of that
Speaker 3: part of the world right out of the Afghanistan and
Speaker 3: so forth.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 3: So now he gets caught with one of his loads
Speaker 3: by US customs. So he's like, oh, I need to
Speaker 3: get out of here. He needs a new gig. He
Speaker 3: ditches out and he goes down to Indonesia where he
Speaker 3: becomes a butterfly collector. Oh yeah, so he's basically living
Speaker 3: one of those epic baby boomer lives like you just
Speaker 3: couldn't do unless you are a baby boomer. You have
Speaker 3: jet travel, you gotta have a there's a certain window
Speaker 3: where there just like bounce around the world. Yeah. Then
Speaker 3: I became a butterfly collector.
Speaker 2: But it's like his consciousness was expanded. Oh totally, he collects.
Speaker 3: But once again, the baby boomer thing, they were the
Speaker 3: first ones to kind of like really go off. I mean,
Speaker 3: before this you have William william S Burrow's doing his stuff.
Speaker 3: I mean you have previous generation of the beats, you know.
Speaker 3: But really the hippies I want to are like go
Speaker 3: make tramp into the jungle and bring my brother. Right. Well, anyway,
Speaker 3: his mother, Terrace McKenny. His mother passes away, so he
Speaker 3: has to return to America after all his drug smuggling
Speaker 3: bouncing around the world collecting butterflies and mushrooms, and then
Speaker 3: he goes with his brother back to the nation of
Speaker 3: Columbia because like, okay, we got mother in the ground. Hey, brother,
Speaker 3: let's bounce out. I'm gonna show you this world. Right Totally,
Speaker 3: his mind's of wide open, Elizabeth, you pointed out. So
Speaker 3: he's like, let me go open my brother's mind. So
Speaker 3: they go tramping off in the jungle and they try DMT.
Speaker 3: You've heard about DMT. It's like a super strong psychedelic.
Speaker 3: Then they also try magic mushrooms, and that totally is
Speaker 3: their thing. They're like, Okay, this one's out of all
Speaker 3: this stuff we've tried. This is the thing. So he
Speaker 3: gets heavy into that and he decides that mushrooms will
Speaker 3: be the key to unlocking the Jugian collective unconscious of humanity. Okay,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, the great symbolic world mind, Elizabeth. The mushrooms,
Speaker 3: he decides, is the magic material that the alchemists were
Speaker 3: after that would unlock the Philosopher's stone.
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 3: Yeah. He hears this voice, Producer, d you may know
Speaker 3: about this from some of your religious readings. He hears
Speaker 3: the voice of Logos, which he then calls the teaching voice.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, the word from God, the very exactly logos
Speaker 6: is the word. It's the all spark from transformers.
Speaker 2: Is it's word up.
Speaker 3: So he's basically got God whispering in his ear through
Speaker 3: the mushrooms, Elizabeth. So at this point we're deep in
Speaker 3: the jungle. He gets all the way out of there.
Speaker 3: The early seventies, he returns to Berkeley. They let him
Speaker 3: finish back his studies because again, baby Boomer, that's how
Speaker 3: it was for them. He graduates with a degree, publishes
Speaker 3: a book, publishes another, launches this whole mushroom revolution. Now
Speaker 3: that we live in where people are actually considering turning
Speaker 3: mushrooms into a treatment for as you pointed out, complex PTSD.
Speaker 3: So these two kooks lead to this point where people
Speaker 3: are going to be like, hey, I may have some
Speaker 3: alleviation for my suffering God bless see. Yeah, now do
Speaker 3: you have a different view of magic room?
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 4: It.
Speaker 2: I'm fascinated by it. Okay, I terrified for myself, but
Speaker 2: fascinated for others. Okay, interesting, Yeah, I don't think negatively.
Speaker 3: Let's take a little break. When we get back, I'll
Speaker 3: introduce you to magic. The gathering and we see how
Speaker 3: long this good will carry over?
Speaker 7: That that's the line, Elizabeth Zaren, we're back.
Speaker 3: Hi, how are you feeling so good?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 3: Didn't you always worry? Like Zaren? Where is is this
Speaker 3: a crime? I want you to know that magic mushrooms
Speaker 3: they are right now going through a part of legalization
Speaker 3: where people are trying to legalize them. Right so I
Speaker 3: looked into it. Or again they passed that initiative to
Speaker 3: legalize it for mental health treatments. That was twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty two, Colorado voted to decriminalize magic mushrooms. Currently
Speaker 3: in the our assembling California, they are looking to legalize
Speaker 3: a bunch of psychedelics, not just magic mushrooms, but lsd MDMA, DMD, mescaline, ibogaine.
Speaker 3: They're going nuts over there in California.
Speaker 2: I think in Oakland proper, I guess there's a law
Speaker 2: about how I.
Speaker 3: Didn't look at the civic Yeah, down to the cities.
Speaker 3: But yes, that we have decriminalized it.
Speaker 2: From what I have, yes, it's that you can't sell it,
Speaker 2: but possession of the spores is legal.
Speaker 3: Exactly so, But in all but two states it's still
Speaker 3: illegal to have mushrooms. So everything we're talking about here,
Speaker 3: these are criminals, Elizabeth. I just wanted to make that clear.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So now the DA they will describe I haven't described
Speaker 3: mushrooms for you, so I thought i'd let the experts
Speaker 3: do it. Please do the DA will describe mushrooms thusly,
Speaker 3: in a really dry way. Mushrooms containing psilocybin are available
Speaker 3: fresh or dried, and have long, slender stems topped by
Speaker 3: caps with dark gills on the underside. Fresh mushrooms have
Speaker 3: white or whitish gray stems. The caps are dark brown
Speaker 3: around the edges, in light brown or white in the center.
Speaker 3: Dried mushrooms are usually rusty brown with isolated areas of
Speaker 3: off white. Did that help you at all? Not really?
Speaker 3: Not really right? Especially it's like light colored mushrooms wh
Speaker 3: they're dried right.
Speaker 2: Well, it kind of sounds like I had like this
Speaker 2: huge mushroom outbreak in my raised beds over the winter
Speaker 2: of the summer.
Speaker 3: I remember you t tolding me about it.
Speaker 2: Like oyster mushrooms. There was a size of a dinner plate.
Speaker 3: They were insane for you.
Speaker 2: What if they were magic?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you can be getting sideways.
Speaker 2: I would i'd have like five million dollars.
Speaker 3: You could have gotten your whole block sideways. Yep, Like
Speaker 3: you went to five million dollars, I went to your
Speaker 3: whole block. Now, typically with mushrooms, I don't know if
Speaker 3: you know this, you eat them, right, I would assume,
Speaker 3: so you can also drink. You can drink them as
Speaker 3: a tea, okay, right, you can even usually you'd noticed
Speaker 3: with chocolates, so with other foods. My friend Chris So
Speaker 3: once put magic mushrooms on a slice of pizza and
Speaker 3: didn't tell me about it, and then I ate those.
Speaker 3: He had a great time laughing at me will waiting
Speaker 3: for me to start tripping. And then I tripped in
Speaker 3: his in his house with him sober and me by myself,
Speaker 3: just going off tripping, and we had a great but rascal.
Speaker 3: This is the same guy we had a I once
Speaker 3: we had a a paint fight. We were painting, pouring
Speaker 3: five gallon buckets of paint on the inside of each
Speaker 3: other's cars and on each other's cars. He poured paint
Speaker 3: from a roof under me. I threw painted so very bad.
Speaker 3: We were past the point of this being like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's a terrible thing to do to somebody is what
Speaker 3: I'm saying, but it's wild. There was some good American fun.
Speaker 2: My point.
Speaker 3: Elizabeth is the DEA, So the drugon Force and agency.
Speaker 3: They have thoughts about eating magic mushrooms giving them to
Speaker 3: your friends unknowingly because.
Speaker 2: Some people it's like assault, isn't it?
Speaker 3: Well some people freak out? Yeah, well yeah. According to DA,
Speaker 3: there's psychological consequences, including hallucinations and an inability to discern
Speaker 3: fantasy from reality. Panic reactions and a psychotic like episode
Speaker 3: may also occur, particularly if a user ingests a high dose.
Speaker 2: Oh see, I would have the panic attack to end
Speaker 2: all panic attacks, because I'm always at a state of
Speaker 2: like mild panic attack red on a scale of one
Speaker 2: to ten. Are you having a panic attack? I'm like
Speaker 2: always at two?
Speaker 3: Oh really, Okay, that's lower than I thought.
Speaker 2: Throughout the day, it ebbs and flows, and I think
Speaker 2: at least once a day I get it up to
Speaker 2: crank it up to about seven eights.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, there you go. I thought you'd be like,
Speaker 3: I start around three or four, I work it up
Speaker 3: to seven.
Speaker 2: Erections on the world, Sarah, I'm trying to be optimistic,
Speaker 2: right though.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, as with anything Elizabeth, if you don't know this.
Speaker 3: In toxicology, the dose makes the poison, they say, right right, Well,
Speaker 3: with mushrooms, that's kind of difficult to know what an
Speaker 3: appropriate dosage is because you're just eating handfuls of dried mushrooms.
Speaker 3: Some have real high concentrations, some don't, and they look exactly.
Speaker 2: Like saren that is exactly like halapeno peppers.
Speaker 3: This really is, Elizabeth, some ub or you know.
Speaker 2: A lot of peppers. You know, you take a bite,
Speaker 2: you go, okay, that's fine, you take it. Oh howdy?
Speaker 3: Like, oh can I get rid of this part of
Speaker 3: my tongue?
Speaker 2: So that's exactly the same.
Speaker 3: So we've established that, uh, you know, magic mushrooms may
Speaker 3: not be the I don't know best drug for performance
Speaker 3: enhancing since you really can't know how much you're taking,
Speaker 3: right and if you get it wrong you may have
Speaker 3: a freak out. Yeah, okay, so enough about that, Elizabeth
Speaker 3: into magic the gathering, so the tabletop gamed. What do
Speaker 3: you know about it?
Speaker 2: Uh? I just reacted.
Speaker 3: So it was by this guy, a cat named Richard Garfield.
Speaker 3: Now actually a guy Richard.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, Garfield's first name is Richard.
Speaker 3: Dicky Garfield back in nineteen ninety three. Right, it's a
Speaker 3: lot of things. It's a trading card game. It's also
Speaker 3: a tabletop game. It's a collectible. It's genius from a
Speaker 3: capitalism standpoint.
Speaker 2: I think that ownership of the cards in the Venn
Speaker 2: diagram with those who keep toys in boxes, it's an overlap,
Speaker 2: like on shelves. You're talking about a perfect circle.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think he may be right.
Speaker 2: I know I'm right. Baby.
Speaker 3: I got friends. I can ask him they play this game.
Speaker 2: I don't have friends.
Speaker 3: Do you know that magic clocks a billion dollars a
Speaker 3: year annually?
Speaker 2: I'm not surprised, right.
Speaker 3: But is it fun for you? Elizabeth? I doubt it.
Speaker 2: But I gotta be honest. I've never played it.
Speaker 3: Oh great, I have the rules here right in front
Speaker 3: of me. How do you play the game of.
Speaker 2: All the magic? People out there? Like, don't listen to me.
Speaker 2: I am a curmudgeon. I'm no fun. You're not hurting anyone,
Speaker 2: you do you?
Speaker 3: You're not making fun of that.
Speaker 2: You're just not in shape and run around and throw
Speaker 2: your cards down, you know to hey man.
Speaker 3: H Well, since you asked, how do you play the game?
Speaker 2: About?
Speaker 3: Do you play great question, Elizabeth. Are the wizards the
Speaker 3: game You and another player are dueling wizards?
Speaker 2: Of course there wizards. Do you have a staff with
Speaker 2: like a crystal orb? You can bring that if you
Speaker 2: beat someone to duck?
Speaker 3: You cannot, but you were not.
Speaker 2: Do the toes of your shoes curl up.
Speaker 3: Onto each other if you are high ranking?
Speaker 2: High ranking wizards?
Speaker 3: These are just any old wizards, Elizabeth. They have a
Speaker 3: special name. They're called planes walkers.
Speaker 2: Do they smell like mothballs?
Speaker 3: No? They do not smell. Yes, like like wing walkers
Speaker 3: are the air circus. But these planes walkers, they walk
Speaker 3: the planes of existence walkers.
Speaker 2: That's the shoes the zodiac war by.
Speaker 3: The way, oh look at you.
Speaker 2: Fact you to take it back to something cool.
Speaker 3: You must be fun at dinner parties.
Speaker 2: I've never been invited.
Speaker 6: We used to have in an office I worked at.
Speaker 6: The creative side was all like hardwoods, and the executive
Speaker 6: side was all carpets, so we called the executives carpet walkers.
Speaker 3: That's good, that's a good card. So these these planes walkers, right,
Speaker 3: You duel the other wizard by drawing cards from your
Speaker 3: deck of magic cards. And these cards are spells which
Speaker 3: you take turns playing and then responding to the spells
Speaker 3: other wizards drop. I won't get into all the details
Speaker 3: of how the magic spell cards work because I know
Speaker 3: you'd have so many questions. We'd be here all day. Really,
Speaker 3: So all the different kinds of cars and wizards they
Speaker 3: wage battle. They take combat damage against the wizard's life total, right,
Speaker 3: which is usually like twenty to start. So that's why
Speaker 3: they they have these twenty sided dye that they use
Speaker 3: to keep track.
Speaker 2: Right, I didn't know that. I thought it was just
Speaker 2: cards war. Oh yeah, those are you just slapped down?
Speaker 3: Kind of? Yeah, you'll I'll explain.
Speaker 2: Right, like magic, huh, good play my.
Speaker 3: Second card now, so magic the gathering. Obviously, I'm no expert, right,
Speaker 3: I barely have I'm not even passing deck. No, I
Speaker 3: do not. But I did research it. I watched a
Speaker 3: bunch of competitive matches. I did. I watched a bunch
Speaker 3: of competitive matches.
Speaker 2: Why am I surprised?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: I had to know the language and see the rhythms
Speaker 3: and see like how people score, and like what they
Speaker 3: get excited about.
Speaker 2: What do they wear when they're doing I'm not going
Speaker 2: to do that. They wear like wrap around sunglasses.
Speaker 3: It's not like poker where you want to hide your face.
Speaker 3: You're not like bluffing people, so you don't need you know,
Speaker 3: you don't have like Magic Gathering people who are like
Speaker 3: low cut cleavage shirts so you can distract people.
Speaker 2: They wear wizards hats.
Speaker 3: No, but I mean something. I think some events probably
Speaker 3: people get a little more dressed up.
Speaker 2: Leather, fingerless gloves, yes or no, like.
Speaker 3: The bike gloves on the cards that I saw, But
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Well, in my head, you're,
Speaker 3: as I said, your typical magic. The gathering features the
Speaker 3: two wizards and they're dueling, right, and that you can
Speaker 3: also have a whole melee of planes walkers if you
Speaker 3: want to. Right, they get a bunch of wizards together
Speaker 3: and I'll fight at once. But these days, Elizabeth, you
Speaker 3: can play on a table on a computer on your
Speaker 3: phone while you're sitting in the subway. But the story
Speaker 3: is about a tabletop game. So let me lay out
Speaker 3: the table for you so you get an idea. I
Speaker 3: went to the official Magic Gathering website. Well, this isn't
Speaker 3: a metaphoric table. So step one the setup. The instructional
Speaker 3: YouTube video that I watched promised me that setting up
Speaker 3: the playing area is easy, and it turns out it is,
Speaker 3: which is good because you and I both like easy.
Speaker 3: So apparently you lay out your gameplay area with three
Speaker 3: stacks of cards.
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: Do you have your your deck of magic cards? You
Speaker 3: don't call it a deck? Oh look, Elizabeth, of course,
Speaker 3: is you're ever playing magic the gathering, please don't call
Speaker 3: it a deck. If you remember one thing I tell
Speaker 3: you today, remember that because I don't want some wizards
Speaker 3: looking at you like who brought the new deck? So
Speaker 3: just remember that. What are we going to call it?
Speaker 3: Great question, Elizabeth. A wizard in the no calls their
Speaker 3: deck a library a library. Yeah. Now, next you shuffle
Speaker 3: your deck I mean library.
Speaker 2: And three stacks out of your.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm getting to the library and I'm getting
Speaker 3: to it.
Speaker 2: Do you divide the stack of there's.
Speaker 3: Different ones different You got your stack, your first one
Speaker 3: the library, so keep that one in mind, the library. Right,
Speaker 3: Then you draw your cards. The numbers can be determined
Speaker 3: by the dueling wizards. It's usually seven cards, you know, right,
Speaker 3: So once you draw, that's called your hand. So now
Speaker 3: you got your hand? Yeah, okay, So your deck is
Speaker 3: the cards that you're dealing to yourself for your hand.
Speaker 3: You got it your library.
Speaker 2: Own personal library.
Speaker 3: Okay, so then you got a second group of cards.
Speaker 3: Think of this as your discard pile. This one also
Speaker 3: has a name. You want to guess what is called
Speaker 3: the cauldron the graveyard. Good guest, though, oh thank.
Speaker 2: You, beacause you know you know that I've told you
Speaker 2: before that when people try and explain.
Speaker 3: Games, that's why I'm explaining it.
Speaker 2: Like I'll like, in my mind, I'm floating in a
Speaker 2: field and chasing a butterfly, and I just.
Speaker 3: Why do you think I've tathered you to this moment?
Speaker 3: And I'm excited a game to you that we're not
Speaker 3: going to play. This is even better.
Speaker 6: Yes, the graveyard, and I'm watching I'm watching the blood
Speaker 6: pressure cuff as this happens, so I can live narrate
Speaker 6: how this is going.
Speaker 3: Third stack up cards that were removed from the game. Now,
Speaker 3: if you were paying attention, the first one I said
Speaker 3: was a discard pile. So wait, what's different about this
Speaker 3: discard pile from this other removed? Well, this third pile
Speaker 3: it's called the exiles. So wait, exile's graveyard. What what's
Speaker 3: the difference? Again? Great, question, Elizabeth, really bringing your your
Speaker 3: A game to this. So the difference is the cards
Speaker 3: in your graveyard can be resurrected. The cards in the
Speaker 3: exiles pile cannot. They've been removed from the game playing dimension.
Speaker 2: They rise up and return back after exile.
Speaker 3: Come on now, So finally on the table is the area
Speaker 3: called the battlefield. That's where all this stuff is happening.
Speaker 3: So you lay down cards that your opponent, the dueling wizard,
Speaker 3: lays down cards.
Speaker 2: What's on these cards?
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you asked, Elizabeth. So, uh, you got
Speaker 3: all this? You want me to repeat a section on Okay?
Speaker 3: So each turn, each turn is broken up into five phases.
Speaker 3: We're the first main phase. That's where you can play
Speaker 3: like a land card or you can cast a spell card. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I know it makes land or spell the different things. Okay, yeah, right,
Speaker 3: So like if a land card, it doesn't matter you
Speaker 3: put it down, it may last. In a spell card,
Speaker 3: it gets turned into either an effect or a creature.
Speaker 2: So land is it's not like, oh, this is a
Speaker 2: mountain or this is Galilee. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I wish I had answers for you. Yeah. So the
Speaker 3: second main phase, you play a land card during say
Speaker 3: your first main phase, right, but instead of me just
Speaker 3: giving all this stuff, I don't know, I know, I
Speaker 3: have like their language like that way i'll know I'm
Speaker 3: tell you the correct no, no.
Speaker 2: Because I mean I'm gonna have to. You can't even.
Speaker 3: Understand the game yet there, so we're still on the second,
Speaker 3: you're going to dazzle and then according to the official
Speaker 3: website for the Magic the Gathering quote, all types of
Speaker 3: cards except lands are spells while you're casting them. For example,
Speaker 3: angler Turtle is a creature card. While you're casting it,
Speaker 3: it's a creature's spell. When it resolves, it becomes a creature.
Speaker 3: Spells can only be cast during your main phase, except
Speaker 3: for instance, which can be cast any time.
Speaker 2: What intarnation is an angler turtle spell.
Speaker 3: It's just like the name of a creature. So you go,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna play my Angler Turtle and the and then
Speaker 3: like they go, oh you got, you know, like a
Speaker 3: block or a combat damage kind.
Speaker 2: Of situation comes and gets here.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you asked that. This brings us to the
Speaker 3: third and fourth main phases. Attacks in blocks quote, creatures
Speaker 3: deal combat damage by attacking and blocking. Each creature deals
Speaker 3: combat damage equal to its power. This damage is dealt
Speaker 3: during the combat damage setup, and any other kind of
Speaker 3: damage doesn't count as combat damage, even if it's dealt
Speaker 3: during the combat phase or is the result of a
Speaker 3: creature's ability. So basically, the card will have like plus
Speaker 3: five on the top right when the person's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I got to take plus five damage. Essentially that may
Speaker 3: not be exactly correct, but that's listening. I just simplify.
Speaker 2: I talk a lot of smack on these fans, and
Speaker 2: it's just because I'm not smart enough to do this.
Speaker 3: I know that. That's why I'm taking all this time
Speaker 3: to explain it. Smart enough to understand.
Speaker 2: We got a turtle, it's five.
Speaker 3: So now we get the fifth phase. The end step,
Speaker 3: remove any damage from the creatures still in play, resolve
Speaker 3: any of the interurn effects, and pass the turn to
Speaker 3: your opponents. You got that, you kind of like you
Speaker 3: drop cards. You're like, I'm dropping the Angler Turtle, and
Speaker 3: then the person's like, oh, that is five points damage.
Speaker 3: The other person's like, wait, I can do an instant,
Speaker 3: which is that when they can do a block, and
Speaker 3: I go, this blocks your Angler Turtle.
Speaker 2: What are you even talking?
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter you got all that, Elizabeth, So we're
Speaker 3: gonna move on. Yeah, you're ready to get tripping and
Speaker 3: see what competitive magic gathering.
Speaker 2: Is, Like, I need magic mushrooms.
Speaker 3: The reason we know about it. The story I'm about
Speaker 3: to tell you is that this walker decided to do
Speaker 3: some shrooms and compete at a magic the gathering event,
Speaker 3: and then he wrote about his psychonaut adventure for an
Speaker 3: article published by O. G. Gowker in May of twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2: Rip do g Gocker? Right?
Speaker 3: So the byeline for this gonzo semi anonymously penned article
Speaker 3: who gives only the initials because once again the drug
Speaker 3: is illegal, Elizabeth. So he's known as coward CML. But
Speaker 3: since you would say that, I found his government name,
Speaker 3: it's Chris Morris Lent, So there you go. However, out
Speaker 3: of respect for his byline, we'll call him CML. So,
Speaker 3: as CMO explains in his article, quote, bringing to shrooms
Speaker 3: was a spontaneous decision, but I would never have eaten
Speaker 3: them without some prior experience. Oh yeah, By prior experience,
Speaker 3: he means his previous spontaneous shroom nibbling. He's seen Elizabeth.
Speaker 3: CML was watching the NFC Championship game. The twenty fourteen
Speaker 3: NFC Championship game with Aaron Rodgers and the Packers facing
Speaker 3: Marshawn Lynch in the Seattle s.
Speaker 2: Are you, CML?
Speaker 3: No, I have not so since I know you don't
Speaker 3: know hot football. It's a very famous game. But I'll
Speaker 3: just I'll tell you this a couple of highlights. You
Speaker 3: know why he did what he did with the mushrooms.
Speaker 2: Wait a second, This is when Aaron.
Speaker 3: Rodgers was on the Packers and then Marshawn Lynch, your
Speaker 3: guy was on the Seattle Seahawks.
Speaker 2: Was this the quake?
Speaker 3: Not that? But so the game opens up. Aaron Rodgers,
Speaker 3: he throws an interception to your guy Richard Sherman.
Speaker 2: Oh, I like him.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Then Russell Wilson, Ciara's husband, he gives He gives
Speaker 3: the Packers the ball back when he throws an interception
Speaker 3: to Haha Clinton Dix.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 3: I don't even know that's his street name.
Speaker 2: Ha Ha is right because his name's Clinton, is it?
Speaker 3: His government name is Hashwan Treyshawn Clinton Dix. Anyway, we're
Speaker 3: watching this game. In the first quarter, CML gets the
Speaker 3: idea he needs to eat some mushrooms. Well, of course
Speaker 3: is like, I'm gonna help the team right where he
Speaker 3: put it quote, I ate some caps and stems. Five
Speaker 3: minutes in, I felt great. Fifteen minutes in I flat
Speaker 3: out doors. So it didn't quite work out right. So
Speaker 3: that's how it goes the mushroom. Suddenly you have to
Speaker 3: go and commune with nature, right or is he put
Speaker 3: it quote? After communing with nature, it came back in
Speaker 3: and I lay on a couch in a room where
Speaker 3: I could hear reports of endless defeat and size of
Speaker 3: frustration issuing from the television and the sectional. It sounded
Speaker 3: like fiction. The game needed a new narrator. This is
Speaker 3: also how mushrooms go. You think you can influence things
Speaker 3: like NFL games with the power of your mind perhaps,
Speaker 3: and who knows, maybe you can. I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 3: fans each week are doing you know, psychic battle, right,
Speaker 3: and that's how they're doing me. It could be well anyway, CML.
Speaker 3: He goes back in to do battle with the TV
Speaker 3: and change up the scene for everyone, as he puts it, quote,
Speaker 3: midway through the third quarter, I walked back to the TV, concentrated,
Speaker 3: and I envisioned a fake field goal. It worked, Elizabeth.
Speaker 3: It was one of the key plays of the game.
Speaker 3: The coach called a fake field goal right, and he
Speaker 3: has this holder who's also the team's punter, take the snap,
Speaker 3: and then he springs up and he runs to his left,
Speaker 3: and the whole defense chases after him, and then they
Speaker 3: think it's a blown snap, and then the punter throws back.
Speaker 3: But he throws back across the field to a rookie.
Speaker 3: Not just any rookie, Elizabeth, it's a tackle, which is
Speaker 3: an offensive line. They're not supposed to catch the ball.
Speaker 3: They never touch the ball. He gets the ball that
Speaker 3: this guy is a secret he played tight end in college.
Speaker 3: So he changes the ball right, yes, and then he
Speaker 3: runs broksymore. He lumbers down the field right and then boom,
Speaker 3: he scores a touchdown. Seahawks are on the scoreboard. Packer's
Speaker 3: still up sixteen to seven, though, CML goes, thanks to me,
Speaker 3: we're back in it.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yes, so the game is far from over. Seahawks still
Speaker 3: down now. Cml's like. As the game grew, grimmer I
Speaker 3: fantasized about scenarios where the Seahawks won. Can you guess
Speaker 3: what happens, Elizabeth? No, these fantasies grew out increasingly albandas
Speaker 3: she says, until one of them came to life. As
Speaker 3: I knew it would, defeat had never been an option. Next,
Speaker 3: after that success with mushroom mind melding or whatever he
Speaker 3: thinks he did, our hero decides that he's gonna take
Speaker 3: that same never say die attitude to the world of
Speaker 3: competitive Magic the Gathering.
Speaker 2: That makes sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's take a little break and when we get back,
Speaker 3: we're gonna go into Magic the Gathering with mushrooms. Elizabeth
Speaker 3: arn So we've gotten through all this stuff. Now we're
Speaker 3: at the like the moment. Yeah, we're like at the
Speaker 3: castle walls about to go busting in. Now, why did
Speaker 3: this guy want to go to a Magic the Gathering
Speaker 3: and do mushrooms? I mean, you wouldn't think that's a
Speaker 3: good idea. Why did he?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean I've had a lot of
Speaker 2: bad ideas in my life.
Speaker 3: We see this guy. He used to be a professional
Speaker 3: online poker player. Yeah, and then he washed out of that,
Speaker 3: and he's like, I gotta get back and refresh my
Speaker 3: love of the cards.
Speaker 2: So he's smart enough to remember how to play a
Speaker 2: card game totally.
Speaker 3: So he turned to Magic the Gathering to like refresh
Speaker 3: his love of the game. And then he went and
Speaker 3: he I'll let him tell it. CML says quote in January,
Speaker 3: I won a qualifier and earned a comped ticket touss
Speaker 3: to battle the most powerful planes walkers in the multiverse.
Speaker 3: What he got free tickets to Brussels, Belgium in Europe
Speaker 3: to go over there and compete with the best ling
Speaker 3: wizards the gathering. He takes the trip, has a terrible time,
Speaker 3: of course, hates it right so bad. In fact, he
Speaker 3: writes an article just tearing down the Magic Pro Tour.
Speaker 3: Really yeah, he puts in that quote. Magic appeals only
Speaker 3: a niche demographic because its events don't matter and even
Speaker 3: suck in a lot of ways for the competitors. Contrast
Speaker 3: with esports, which have iconic pros and have reaped the
Speaker 3: rewards of their real advertising budgets. My article elicited some
Speaker 3: polarized responses, which brought me great joy.
Speaker 2: So did you know that there are colleges that have
Speaker 2: sports teams.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm very familiar.
Speaker 2: College collegiate.
Speaker 3: You can be like signed and get a scholarship to
Speaker 3: be an esports star.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for like you know.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the President.
Speaker 2: Elizabeth let candy cash.
Speaker 3: So one day he learns our dude CMO learned that
Speaker 3: the Magic pro Tour has an event planned in his
Speaker 3: neck of the woods. Right pro Tour stop in Portland,
Speaker 3: he can go troll the magic community on his own backyard.
Speaker 2: A magic tournament in Portland, Oregon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Elizabeth, do you hear it? And he's like, I
Speaker 3: should bring shrooms to that.
Speaker 2: It's resonating through the canyons of my mind.
Speaker 3: You ready to get groovy and some shrooms and go
Speaker 3: to magic the gathering stop pro Tour in Portland. So
Speaker 3: the day of the competition, weekend starts about how you
Speaker 3: might imagine it. CMO says, quote, our journey begins on
Speaker 3: a Saturday at six am, a time I'm more likely
Speaker 3: to stay up until then to get up by In
Speaker 3: my living room were three friends, a strip club DJ,
Speaker 3: a software engineer, and a costplay photographer, which is almost
Speaker 3: enough to fool you into thinking that the world of
Speaker 3: competitive magic is diverse. I felt horrendous. There was only
Speaker 3: one thing that can restore my equilibrium. I wish you
Speaker 3: could see your face right know. I can you guess
Speaker 3: what that one thing was that would restore that? You
Speaker 3: can deliver in for this guy.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, why so early? Why do they
Speaker 2: start this thing?
Speaker 3: So you got to do a road trip. They got
Speaker 3: to drive there, They drive a couple of hours, they
Speaker 3: got to get there in time for the Competitionoms, yeah, mushrooms.
Speaker 3: I mean he's like, hey's Strip Club DJ, hand me
Speaker 3: my backpack. He's like, I don't have it. Cosplay photographer
Speaker 3: down the list again. So he's all teed up ready
Speaker 3: for his day, sets the mood for the road trip,
Speaker 3: and then CMO in his article and I feel like
Speaker 3: I have to include this because it's such a genius choice.
Speaker 3: He quotes from the Insane Clown Posse. He says, quote,
Speaker 3: if magic is all we've ever known, then it's easy
Speaker 3: to miss what really goes on. But I've seen miracles
Speaker 3: in every way, and I've seen miracles every day.
Speaker 2: That's insane. That does not I thought they were all
Speaker 2: bull Scoomy, I got your fist off the beats.
Speaker 3: Maybe a little bit more or so in the look,
Speaker 3: but a lot of their stuff is very positive.
Speaker 2: It's all okay anyway.
Speaker 3: Well, so these guys are all now in the car,
Speaker 3: right so Strip Club DJ, costplay photographer, software engineer, and
Speaker 3: are shroomed out magically gathering competitor. Yeah, and then he's like,
Speaker 3: you know, he's like, okay, I need to get my
Speaker 3: head right. So he gobbles a handful of mushrooms.
Speaker 2: Right, they put on their trench coats, they get in
Speaker 2: the car, and.
Speaker 3: Then, of course, because you know everybody knows the Hunter S.
Speaker 3: Thompson thing, he puts in. He writes out, quote, we
Speaker 3: were somewhere around Lacey when the drug started.
Speaker 2: How you've gone like four pages into the list.
Speaker 3: I'm so deep. So at this point they're good zooted
Speaker 3: on magic mushrooms, feeling the colors with their fingers, tasting
Speaker 3: the sky with his mind. Eventually they arrive at the
Speaker 3: Greater Portland Convention Center. Yeah, so they've safely arrived. CML
Speaker 3: eats another handful of mushrooms. Of course, gobble. Now you
Speaker 3: got to be stayed, you know, properly twisted. So but
Speaker 3: he declines to smoke a joint with his friend because
Speaker 3: he doesn't want to mess up his mind.
Speaker 2: That's a bridge too far.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we got his mix just right. You know, Bill
Speaker 3: might be run and Rich Dumley run and lean inside
Speaker 3: the convention center at the Magic Tournament he sees the
Speaker 3: first round pairings are up on the big board, and Elizabeth,
Speaker 3: I want you to be able to see this scene.
Speaker 3: As CML puts it, quote, magic tournaments are, for lack
Speaker 3: of a better phrase, visually stunning. The sheer number of
Speaker 3: people four hundred and seventy two players in Portland, several
Speaker 3: thousand at some other events. The chaotic lurch towards match
Speaker 3: pairings and orderly arrangement side by side at long, narrow tables,
Speaker 3: the glaring lights and ugly carpets. You have to see
Speaker 3: it to believe it. Clad in orange and sweat eye
Speaker 3: was a part of it.
Speaker 2: Pad an orange and swell, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: He's got an orange T shirt on. I'll get back
Speaker 3: to that in a second. Twisted head full of psilocybe
Speaker 3: and hallucinating, ready to go. I look down at my hand,
Speaker 3: the flesh darkened and shriveled against the bright day outside.
Speaker 3: Was I to be slain and lobottomized and reanimated into
Speaker 3: a dread zombie to do the bidding of vile necromancy?
Speaker 3: Or was this the first sign of my transcendence to
Speaker 3: a higher realm, the tender that would ignite my planes
Speaker 3: walker spark, I swiped right on myself and walked toward
Speaker 3: the first round. Okay, love the pros I could see
Speaker 3: on your face. He turns that squirreling mind against his
Speaker 3: first opponent. I'd seen my opponent's deck the day before,
Speaker 3: so I stared at him through my shades and read
Speaker 3: his soul. Oh shades told you, yeah, sunglasses on you.
Speaker 3: So he's reading his opponent's soul. Wins the first first match,
Speaker 3: goes outside, thinks about Walt Whitman, gobbles some more handfuls
Speaker 3: of mushrooms, goes back inside, now ready for round two.
Speaker 3: He's confronted with the fact he can no longer trust
Speaker 3: his ears because now he cannot tell auditory hallucinations from reality.
Speaker 2: His opponents is terrifying.
Speaker 3: His opponent says to him, I read your article, and then
Speaker 3: he's like, what, so you think the article that trashed
Speaker 3: the Magic Pro Tour in Europe? Right, So goes and
Speaker 3: tries to apologize, I'm sorry, and the opponent thinks that
Speaker 3: he mishurt him, right, So he's like, no, I said
Speaker 3: I read your article. So CML says, I've definitely eaten
Speaker 3: too many, right, So he's just like starting to get
Speaker 3: a little scattered. He's polite though, so he manages to
Speaker 3: tell us a like what did you enjoy the article?
Speaker 3: And you go, oh, I did, right, and then he
Speaker 3: just destroys the guy. He's like, all right, next win.
Speaker 3: So round two done in one right. Round three. A
Speaker 3: camera crew picks him up and they start filming him
Speaker 3: because they're like, oh yeah, so now there's gonna be
Speaker 3: an audience at home watching him on YouTube or whatever.
Speaker 3: CML wins again. He's just stacking up early wins, right.
Speaker 3: His software engineering buddy comes over. He's like, hey, would
Speaker 3: you classify shrewds as a performance enhancing drug? Now? He
Speaker 3: doesn't answer the question because he's convinced that there's this
Speaker 3: guy walking up to him in a really brusque and
Speaker 3: officious manner, right, and he thinks, oh, that guy's from
Speaker 3: the CIA, right, So he's convinced of it. Right, The
Speaker 3: guy is not from the CIA, as't no, yeah, true,
Speaker 3: he's a journalist from the team that had covered the
Speaker 3: Magic Pro Tour event in Europe and recognized him and
Speaker 3: also obviously read the article bashing the stuff. So he's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: heyde you do you read Chuck Closterman. I want to
Speaker 3: know if you reach checks. So the two of them
Speaker 3: have their thoughts. Do you have thoughts on Chuckloster?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: Well, so anyway, as you might guess, CML, he reads
Speaker 3: Chuck Closterman, the guy from the the guy who's not
Speaker 3: from the CIA. He says of Chuck Closterman, quote, you
Speaker 3: know how he covers things, but he thinks he's better
Speaker 3: than everyone else. So in my opinion, that makes him
Speaker 3: kind of an So the two men then discussed the
Speaker 3: merits of being it like Chuck Closterman. They decide his
Speaker 3: writing would be better if Klosterman was actually smart and
Speaker 3: not just a collector of culture. They're just bad mouth
Speaker 3: and poor Chuck Closterman.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: Then they describe should CML dude like write some coverage? Right,
Speaker 3: and in a very Hollywood way, they're like, yes, let's
Speaker 3: talk about this at a later date. Now, my man, CML.
Speaker 3: He drops his sunglasses and hits the door marked exit.
Speaker 3: This is day one, right, So he into friends. They
Speaker 3: go out to celebrate the success so far. They eat
Speaker 3: some Greek food. They empty two bottles of wine at dinner.
Speaker 3: As they drink, you know, he's still discussing his shroom
Speaker 3: enhanced performance and he's also still tripping because he's been
Speaker 3: gobbling shrooms all day. So at this point at the tour,
Speaker 3: for the tour event, just for those keeping score, he's
Speaker 3: eight and one.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not bad, right. So after dinner they want to
Speaker 3: go celebrate more. They go out for more drinks. They
Speaker 3: get some whiskey sours. He's convinced this will help sober
Speaker 3: him up.
Speaker 2: Well, nothing's so like a whiskey.
Speaker 3: Sour, right, But I always say that's my granddad used
Speaker 3: to say, that's.
Speaker 2: That they taught me in elementary school.
Speaker 3: His plan fails, Elizabeth, though, he but he still enjoys
Speaker 3: this beautiful moment of reverie. And he said, and I quote,
Speaker 3: all of life appeared before me. Boozy and diaphanous two
Speaker 3: health goths walked by Portland is all about chill hedonism,
Speaker 3: about not working and thinking playing magic there, all the
Speaker 3: stress and dyspepsia, that was well, that was hellenormative. Shroom's off,
Speaker 3: whiskey on, I'd be able to sleep. I hubered back
Speaker 3: to the hotel and did just that. So now we're
Speaker 3: ready for day two, Elizabeth healths health Goths. Yes, how
Speaker 3: do you think he starts Day two? That's right, more shooms.
Speaker 3: I started my morning with sir, shrooms, he says, And
Speaker 3: he goes downhill from there, and I quote, there seemed
Speaker 3: to be no point in not eating them until I
Speaker 3: understood there was nothing to get rid of the putrid taste,
Speaker 3: or was there beside my leg with some moist and
Speaker 3: fishy my Greek leftovers. There was no fork in the rooms.
Speaker 3: I stole one from the hotel lobby and chased down
Speaker 3: the shrooms with the salmon skewer. There was more salmon
Speaker 3: left after Wait, so then I ate more shrooms.
Speaker 2: Wait, okay, So he eats something leftover salmon, It's gonna
Speaker 2: upset your stomach. And then he takes salmon leftover salmon
Speaker 2: that has not been refrigerated, has in his pocket.
Speaker 3: Up against his body, Warmed by his body.
Speaker 2: He warmed, I'm getting food poisoning.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. So now he goes back to the Pro Tour,
Speaker 3: the tourney event at the Greater Portland Convention Center. He
Speaker 3: wins the first round easily.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: A tournament judge walks by and says, with a smirk,
Speaker 3: I hear you've added a Chitucky's to your diet today.
Speaker 2: Oh and is he still wearing the pants that he has.
Speaker 3: He's still wearing the orange shirt Elizabeth, but his.
Speaker 2: Pants had salmon in it. He's got to be a pleasure.
Speaker 3: Also now that he thinks that the judges are onto
Speaker 3: him right, and that could be a problem because you know,
Speaker 3: we're joking about it now. The judges are joking about
Speaker 3: it then, but their story could change later if he
Speaker 3: wins it. All they're like, this is performance enhancing drugs.
Speaker 3: So he denies it to the judge's face, right to him.
Speaker 3: He's like, oh yeah, he's like Peter talking to the Romans.
Speaker 3: He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. So
Speaker 3: next he sits for a match against a friend. That's good,
Speaker 3: nice friendly match. His friend goes, hey, the rumor's true.
Speaker 3: I hear you been shroming your way through the tournament.
Speaker 3: So he's like, everybody's talking about it. So he's like,
Speaker 3: hey man, and his friend actually says that I thought
Speaker 3: you'd like this. Why Why would you think shrooming for
Speaker 3: multiple days in a convention center playing magic was a
Speaker 3: good idea?
Speaker 2: I love this guy.
Speaker 3: His answer is both poetic and philosophical. He says, why anything.
Speaker 2: I feel like, why is he surprised that people know
Speaker 2: that he's doing mushrooms. And I feel like he's been
Speaker 2: telling everything.
Speaker 3: Yes, I think so and his friends EA, strip club DJ,
Speaker 3: the cosplay photographer.
Speaker 2: The rule in the software once you tell a strip
Speaker 2: club DJ.
Speaker 3: P Yes, so he and his friend now don't.
Speaker 2: Tell a strip club DJ and anything he wouldn't in.
Speaker 3: The paper or right in the sky. So at this
Speaker 3: point where we oh, yeah, the tournament's going on day two,
Speaker 3: our anti hero CML, he is about to qualify for
Speaker 3: the elimination rounds of the tournament. That's how well he's doing.
Speaker 3: Think playoffs right, right? So he in this dueling wizard
Speaker 3: or they're in a match and they discuss intentionally tanking
Speaker 3: this match, like ending in a forced draw so that
Speaker 3: they can both qualify for the elimination rounds. And his
Speaker 3: opponent tells him, you'd be the most awesome guy ever.
Speaker 3: In CML agrees I was the most awesome guy ever.
Speaker 3: He really knew how to flat or someone on trooms.
Speaker 3: So after that, he wins his next match that went
Speaker 3: catapult him onto the main stage. Now he's up back
Speaker 3: onto the camera table where the match will be filmed broadcast.
Speaker 3: There's announcers who are calling the game on This is
Speaker 3: the footage that I watched on YouTube. Yeah, so his
Speaker 3: first game before the cameras. Perhaps he gets a little
Speaker 3: self conscious, I don't know, distracted. Maybe the mushrooms are
Speaker 3: backing up on him. But he doesn't do well. He
Speaker 3: actually he's hell leave it to him, he said, quote
Speaker 3: congratulations and good luck. I said, moved by my own generosity.
Speaker 3: It's easy to be a gracious loser when you're on shrooms.
Speaker 3: It's also easy to be a gracious loser when it
Speaker 3: doesn't matter much. But if that's true, then why do
Speaker 3: we ever get salty after losing a magic Elizabeth? So
Speaker 3: at this point in the playoffs, he's in the seventh spot. Right,
Speaker 3: tournament official comes over to talk to him, and he
Speaker 3: was like, was I being ousted for five counts of
Speaker 3: delinquency and hooliganism? I was shrooming. Everybody knew I was shrooming.
Speaker 3: It's like you a little bit right, Mostly though, he's
Speaker 3: imagining things, because the official then walked past him to
Speaker 3: the guy behind him, tapped him on the shoulder and
Speaker 3: then said, oh, yeah, you've got ninth. You're out right.
Speaker 3: So he's like, oh, and that's the guy who he
Speaker 3: had split the draw with to get him. Man guilty. Anyway,
Speaker 3: onto the quarterfinals. At this point, cml's head fully spinning,
Speaker 3: questioning reality. Convinced everyone knows he's on mushrooms.
Speaker 2: And he said, he still has to do calculations.
Speaker 3: I put down the cards and they get about how
Speaker 3: many cards they have. And yes, so anyway, he's rolling good,
Speaker 3: he says, like Jesus from the Big Lebowski. He rolls
Speaker 3: his way into the semis. So at one point when
Speaker 3: he looks down at his deck box, you know, he's
Speaker 3: a hallucinating so much that he sees this symbol and decides,
Speaker 3: that's the tree of my ancestry. Yes, the tree of
Speaker 3: his ancestry does not help him. He plays badly that round,
Speaker 3: but the tree of his ancestry, So somebody pulls it
Speaker 3: out because I don't know. He must have dropped the
Speaker 3: craziest combos of creature cards ever, But I wish I
Speaker 3: could tell you, But let's be real, I know you
Speaker 3: wouldn't care. So my man CML must reminded troll. He
Speaker 3: wins his way into the finals the big Game, Elizabeth,
Speaker 3: At this point, you need to have a visual of
Speaker 3: our hero CML wearing the orange T shirt over a
Speaker 3: button down collared shirt. So that looks so the collar
Speaker 3: started unevenly popping up out of the orange T shirt,
Speaker 3: which is always a great look, and then the orange
Speaker 3: T shirt looks like it's from the bottom of a
Speaker 3: pile of dirty clothes. His shortish brown hair is kind
Speaker 3: of matted, and he has the sunglass is on top
Speaker 3: of his head like a seventies movie star, but on
Speaker 3: him it's like he forgot they were up there anyway.
Speaker 3: His face is decorated with a mustache, but that's obscured
Speaker 3: by the uneven two week old beard. His eyes swimming
Speaker 3: in his face right to the top of it all off.
Speaker 3: He has this sort of goofy grin. Okay, the mushrooms
Speaker 3: and he hits the finals heavily. Mushroom codd look right,
Speaker 3: and the whole finals is just quite a scene. I
Speaker 3: watched the thing on YouTube. It's amazing. But rather than
Speaker 3: me tell you about it, Elizabeth, I'd like you to
Speaker 3: close your eyes and I'd like you to picture it. No,
Speaker 3: you are in the Greater Portland Convention Center. The air
Speaker 3: is conditioned, and the sounds of the crowd give the room.
Speaker 3: It's vibe hushed conversations like you'd hear at a chess
Speaker 3: championship or a golf tournament. At the moment, you are
Speaker 3: at a table and there is an expensive video camera
Speaker 3: trained on you. There are also headphone wearing announcers watching
Speaker 3: your every move and commenting on it for the viewers
Speaker 3: at home. This all makes sense because you are facing
Speaker 3: CML in the finals. You are a dueling with Of course,
Speaker 3: I am that's right, Elizabeth, your planning for the whole mcgilla.
Speaker 3: This it's you versus him to win all the kit
Speaker 3: and caboodle of this pro magic tour. You look over
Speaker 3: your library of cards one last time. Your mind is set.
Speaker 3: You look up from your cards when you hear your
Speaker 3: opponent CML say to no One in particular, I am
Speaker 3: where I need to be? Come again, you replied, not
Speaker 3: sure you heard your opponent correctly. Your opponent, he doesn't answer. Instead,
Speaker 3: he sort of stares at you with eyes like swirling
Speaker 3: pinwheels of an inebriated cartoon character. He mutters again once again, too,
Speaker 3: no one in particular. A flashback within a flashback within
Speaker 3: a flashback that makes absolutely no sense to you. So
Speaker 3: instead You play your first card. He counters with his card,
Speaker 3: the Temple of Malady. You check your cards, nothing good
Speaker 3: to counter. You have to draw. The announcers say it's
Speaker 3: not the best mood, but you should be in fine shape.
Speaker 3: Your pinwheeled eyed opponent grins at you, then plays a
Speaker 3: death missed Raptor, and he lays down his hand. You
Speaker 3: put his whole spread. You put a hand to your forehead.
Speaker 3: Has he got you? He has got you? Has any
Speaker 3: what card can you play? The announcers speculate what cards
Speaker 3: you have in your hand, what cards you have in
Speaker 3: your deck? You stall for time. Your opponent has definitely
Speaker 3: got you up against a magical wall. Meanwhile, he confidently
Speaker 3: grins at you like a drunk cheshire cat. You can
Speaker 3: see the game and move on to game two. But again,
Speaker 3: early on, he's got you playing cards and stepping into
Speaker 3: his trapped It's like he can see through the deck.
Speaker 3: It's like he can see into your soul. Then you
Speaker 3: hear him say you're pretty sure to himself once again,
Speaker 3: I am one with my deck. I am the whip
Speaker 3: of Arebos that resurrected the Hornet Queen. I am the
Speaker 3: satire wayfinder that blazed a fretty trail through the Virgin Lands.
Speaker 3: I am the temple of Malady that sucked dry the
Speaker 3: forest of impurity and affliction. Before you know it, twenty
Speaker 3: five minutes later, it's all over. You've lost. You're not
Speaker 3: sure how he did it, but his cards were like
Speaker 3: piano keys under the fingers of Franz Lipt. He played
Speaker 3: the game so beautifully it was like he indeed was
Speaker 3: the whip of Arabos that resurrected the Hornet Queen. He
Speaker 3: did it, Elizabeth, They did it to you. Can you like?
Speaker 3: It's just tell me how it felt to be at
Speaker 3: a magic the Gather.
Speaker 2: I played that draw for.
Speaker 3: And by the way, he won and successfully trolled the
Speaker 3: magic the Gathering community wins it all right, agent a chaos,
Speaker 3: which I thought you would appreciate. He did it on
Speaker 3: magic mushrooms, which I appreciated. Now, one question, can you
Speaker 3: imagine if you were his significant other, you had to
Speaker 3: spend this weekend in the Portland Convention Center rooting for
Speaker 3: your dueling wizard.
Speaker 2: This person actually went up there.
Speaker 3: I don't think he has. I was just throwing it
Speaker 3: out there as a speculation after his performance enhanced victory
Speaker 3: CMO has to pop over and give a winner's interview
Speaker 3: on camera. Somehow, on camera he seems kind of sober.
Speaker 3: Of course, obviously he's not all told. Dude wins five
Speaker 3: thousand dollars. Wow, splits the with the top four players.
Speaker 3: Oh real, nice guy. He takes on twenty two to fifty.
Speaker 3: On the way home, CML still has a head full
Speaker 3: of mushrooms, and so as the road is rolling on
Speaker 3: underneath the car, he says, and I quote, I closed
Speaker 3: my eyes to Vista's endless geometry, all was well, there
Speaker 3: you go. It's a little trip for you, Elizabeth. What's
Speaker 3: our ridiculous takeaway here?
Speaker 2: Oh? Stay far away from Portland, Oregon when you're on
Speaker 2: mushrooms and wanting to play magic together. I don't know.
Speaker 3: You can find this in Santa Cruz.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 3: You can find this cry, that's true. There's somebody. What
Speaker 3: is it about that?
Speaker 2: What is it that the woods us to.
Speaker 3: That you won't find? I want to know to people
Speaker 3: playing magic, the gathering in the desert, or is this
Speaker 3: more like the Pacific Northwest kind of thing?
Speaker 2: I think it's I think you can only buy them
Speaker 2: New Mexico.
Speaker 3: Let us hear Arizona, South Nevada raised house. So my
Speaker 3: ridiculous takeaway, Elizabeth, thank you for asking. Right is I
Speaker 3: found a game that I don't think you'll ever play.
Speaker 3: And you love games.
Speaker 2: I do love games.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm going to buy a Magic the Gatherings.
Speaker 2: What if I get so into it that's all I do.
Speaker 3: Then I'm gonna find somebody who like, really like a
Speaker 3: kid who wants you to play.
Speaker 2: I don't have the wattage in my head to make
Speaker 2: it work.
Speaker 3: Sure you do, well, you move for a talkback. We
Speaker 3: can refresh that wattage, producer. Do you got to talk back? Ready? Sure?
Speaker 3: Do you? Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, super I love you.
Speaker 5: Hi, Saron and Elizabeth.
Speaker 4: Uh So.
Speaker 5: The other night I went to my first ever live
Speaker 5: comedy show with my friend and while we were waiting
Speaker 5: for the main act, there was trivia up on the
Speaker 5: screen and the question was this was the first person
Speaker 5: to win a Grammy for Comedy Album. And I turned
Speaker 5: my friend and said, oh my gosh, we were just
Speaker 5: talking about that, and she was like what, And then
Speaker 5: I realized it had been me listening to a Ridiculous
Speaker 5: crime and Zarin talking about Bob Newhart. I love the show.
Speaker 2: Thanks at the bar trivia for yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3: Yeahs was bar trivia, they said trivia, they did say. Anyway,
Speaker 3: as always, you can find us online Ridiculous Crime on
Speaker 3: the social media is We're over on the Blue Skies
Speaker 3: now and so look for us there, and we have
Speaker 3: our website, ridiculous Crime dot com. Check it out. We
Speaker 3: got all sorts of merch for you. And obviously we
Speaker 3: love the talkback, so go to the iHeart app download it,
Speaker 3: leave us a talkback maybe here at your voice here.
Speaker 3: And also you can email us if you like Ridiculous
Speaker 3: Crime at gmail dot com. As always started deer producer
Speaker 3: d Thanks for listening. We will catch you next crime.
Speaker 3: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnettes,
Speaker 3: produced and edited by the satire Wavefinder That Lazed of
Speaker 3: Freddy Trail. Dave Houston is starring Annalis Rucker as Judith.
Speaker 3: Research is by the inventors of the tabletop card game
Speaker 3: Tragic The Ungathering Marissa Brown and Andrea Song Sharpened Tear,
Speaker 3: Our theme song is by the Temple of Malady that
Speaker 3: Sucked Dry The Force of Impurity and Affliction aka Thomas
Speaker 3: Lee and Travis Dudno. Host wardrobe provided by Botany five
Speaker 3: hundred guest hair and makeup by Sparkleshow and Mister Andre.
Speaker 3: Executive producers are Magic the Gathering pro Tour announcers Ben
Speaker 3: Boleen and Noel.
Speaker 2: Brown Cime Say It one more Time.
Speaker 1: Cry Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more
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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.