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Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of Iheartradioy Elizabeth Dutton.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, okay, well quite frankly, I'm good. How about you?

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Speaker 3: How are you not good? Bob? No, I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 3: I just like to say that I do have a

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Speaker 3: question for you. You know what's ridiculous?

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Speaker 2: I do fifth degree theft, and I'm just kidding. What's

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Speaker 2: ridiculous is okay? You know how like you go on

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Speaker 2: you know how you go on vacation sometimes, Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: I have done You've done.

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Speaker 3: That a long time ago, and I've done that. It's

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Speaker 3: a new thing, but I've been doing that.

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Speaker 2: And you know, people buy souvenirs and you're like a

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Speaker 2: collector guys, I like, do you get souvenirs?

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Speaker 3: I sometimes buy souvenirs, like yeah, But oftimes I will

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Speaker 3: just I have to admit this. I'll like grab a

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Speaker 3: rock and keep a rock.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've done that.

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Speaker 3: I try not to take something really pretty.

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Speaker 2: But I'm a little Yeah, I do that. I usually

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Speaker 2: get try and get a magnet.

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Speaker 3: That's dope. That's fun. But I'm on the side of

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Speaker 3: the that's totally fun.

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Speaker 2: My mom gets mugs and so sometimes vacation and rub

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Speaker 2: it in her face by getting her a mug.

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Speaker 3: She loves that collection of face rubs.

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Speaker 2: And if they have you know what I love. They

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Speaker 2: don't seem to have him around very much anymore. Match Books,

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've got a lot of Yeah, I have

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Speaker 2: a lot from like old fool.

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Speaker 3: Restaurants, old bars.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, So match books. I've never been to

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Speaker 2: Lake Como in Italy.

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Speaker 3: Lives there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean he's invited me so many times.

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Speaker 3: It's very, very deep that lake.

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Speaker 2: No, it's about three feet deep. It's the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: No, it's ridiculous. It's really shallows three.

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Speaker 2: Feet at the center. And George is like, Elizabeth, you

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Speaker 2: got to come out. And I'm like, I haven't got over.

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Speaker 2: Have a busy on the go lifestyle many and anyway.

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Speaker 2: But I was like thinking about it, like if I

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Speaker 2: went to Lake Como and I waded out to the

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Speaker 2: middle of the thing, what souvenir would I get myself?

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Speaker 3: What what souvenir from my trip to from from the

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Speaker 3: middle of the lake, or just to remember your.

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Speaker 2: Time in general? Maybe aside from like George klean.

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Speaker 3: About how about a hand painted wine bottle?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, sure they do so no Zaren.

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Speaker 3: That's not what I would.

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Speaker 2: Go to one of the you know, handful of shops

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Speaker 2: they have les are in Como is a little shop.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: It's something of the.

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Speaker 2: But there's a handful in that sell a very specific

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Speaker 2: souvenir and it's one hundred authentic from Lake Como. Oddly enough,

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Speaker 2: the can is in English. Okay, it's a can of

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Speaker 2: Lake Como air. What fresh air trapped in a can?

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Speaker 2: I mean, they're kind of cool looking cans.

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Speaker 3: Right, WHOA they've been doing that from Canada.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a Canada, does it? They actually in just

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Speaker 2: after World War Two in Naples, Napoli, there was a

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Speaker 2: guy who was taking old US war ration cans and

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Speaker 2: saying it's air from Naples and selling it. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: but like this, they don't sell it online. You have

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Speaker 2: to go, I mean, come on, otherwise, what's the point. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you can just crack it and huff it, and

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Speaker 2: it's got all the same qualities, all the ingredients that

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Speaker 2: listen like ninety eight percent nitrogen et cetera, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: But then so one breath of air, but then point.

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Speaker 2: Zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent of it

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Speaker 2: of it lake Como secret formula?

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Speaker 3: Is that on the can?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Really, it's right here. Look I don't have the

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Speaker 2: can at the website. And you know what that is?

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Speaker 3: What is that?

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Speaker 2: That is one George Clooney Pubican. Oh god, and that,

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Speaker 2: my friends, that's ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of things.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot going on right there.

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Speaker 3: You know what else is ridiculous besides that? Tell me

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Speaker 3: performance enhancing drugs?

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Speaker 2: Oh? I thought you're still talking about the can.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm leaving that fast behind. We were talking recently,

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Speaker 3: you me, producer, do you about microdosing PCP?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 3: This is kind of like the opposite of that.

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Speaker 2: I say microdose everything? Why not a little bit here there?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's tiny bits? How could it hurt? But you know,

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Speaker 3: like in some sports, right, people take drugs to cheat,

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Speaker 3: like crack. Well, yes, gif you're the eighty six mets,

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Speaker 3: But like for other people, it's like steroids, blood doping.

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Speaker 2: Epo let's epos.

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Speaker 3: I had him to a second.

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Speaker 2: It's a is it made of crickets?

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Speaker 3: I believe it's an enzyme and it helps with the

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Speaker 3: blood absorption of oxygen.

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Speaker 2: I take digestive enzymes. Is that? What that is?

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Speaker 3: Very similar, but there's also the clear in the cream.

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Speaker 3: Remember berry bonds Berry, Yeah, exactly. Well, there have been

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Speaker 3: a lot of stories we know of athletes using a

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Speaker 3: chemical advantage. Lance Armstrong comes to mind. Right, most of

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Speaker 3: these stories aren't ridiculous. Some of them obviously are totally

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Speaker 3: But today, Elizabeth, I have a story for you about

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Speaker 3: a guy who, uh, well, he entered a magic the

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Speaker 3: Gathering tournament and he competed. Elizabeth. He's a he's an

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Speaker 3: E sports athlete or whatever I guess get tabletop sports athlete. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: he did this well high on psychedelic mushrooms. My god,

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Speaker 3: that was his performance and anting drugs. Now, some folks

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Speaker 3: may not count magic mushrooms as a performance anting drug,

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Speaker 3: but just you wait, this is ridiculous crime a podcast,

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Speaker 3: aboubsurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons always ninety nine

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Speaker 3: percent murder free and one percent ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: All right, Zaren, I am now convinced that you have

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Speaker 2: been putting together a.

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Speaker 4: List all the things in the world that irritate and

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Speaker 4: cringe me out because you said magic gathering an e

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Speaker 4: sports and now I'm just gonna you tell the story.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to keep ripping my hair out, and and

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Speaker 3: people on shrooms doing it, you know, doing it to

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Speaker 3: like get over on other people like you and magic

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Speaker 3: and chaos. I'm all shroom.

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Speaker 2: I like agents of chaos. Oh my god, Daren.

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Speaker 3: Gathering un I think you know, it's it's ridiculous to

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Speaker 3: watch if they do these things that they do. When

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Speaker 3: I say the words that I say, Have you ever

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Speaker 3: eaten magic mushrooms? Elizabeth sideways on shrooms?

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Speaker 2: I know there's like a church here in Oakland.

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Speaker 3: Do they get a sacrament? They have it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they have around the law candy bars and stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but they usually put it in chocolate because it

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Speaker 3: doesn't taste good. Oh really, yeah, I've eaten my fair share,

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Speaker 3: sure you have. I liked them at first. They were dope.

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Speaker 3: They were fun. Sometimes it was super laughy.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: The times is like you know, of hilarious or other

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Speaker 3: times it's very sensual, like you have visual distortions, auditory hallucinations.

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Speaker 3: Music gets extra lush, uh, fabrics, materials. They become that mesmerizing.

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Speaker 2: It's it's interesting, right and into a delicious portobello mushroom sandwich.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just give you this just a little, a little,

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Speaker 3: a little more, just a little extra maybe that if

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Speaker 3: it was rotten, like if it was bad, maybe we

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Speaker 3: can get close. But honestly, Elizabeth, I don't really like mushrooms.

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Speaker 3: I don't do shrooms anymore. They make my stomach sick.

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Speaker 2: So that I know, I've yea.

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Speaker 3: I spent my first three hours basically doubled over and paying.

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Speaker 2: Going sensitive tummy to begin with.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I do, yes, but for me, it's like, hey,

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Speaker 3: give me LSD now we're talking. But I'm not advocating

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Speaker 3: for anybody else, right, But Elizabeth, do you know the

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Speaker 3: history of people getting twisted on that?

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Speaker 2: I would imagine it goes back to like the druids

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Speaker 2: foraging around and digging up into cow poop.

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Speaker 3: Is even older than that.

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Speaker 2: I imagine it would go back to the caveman like

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Speaker 2: hopping on a wooly mammoth. I imagine it.

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Speaker 3: Went back to hold my fire stick. So it turns

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Speaker 3: out streams were one of the first drugs we ever liked. Right,

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Speaker 3: Our first and oldest drug of choice was pot, Like

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Speaker 3: we've been dealing with pot forever, yeah, but then we

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Speaker 3: got into beer like around four thousand years ago, huh.

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Speaker 3: But with shrooms we started doing that about. It depends

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Speaker 3: on where you look. There's there's rock art in Algeria

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Speaker 3: that shows people eating shrooms and getting twisted, and that

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Speaker 3: dates to about seven thousand, nine thousand BC, which would

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Speaker 3: put that at about nine thousand to eleven thousand years ago,

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Speaker 3: almost three times as long as we've been or two

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Speaker 3: times depending how you count it, as long as we've

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Speaker 3: been drinking beer beer.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 3: There's also rock art in Spain that suggests mushrooms were

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Speaker 3: a key component of ancient religion rituals, so like some

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Speaker 3: of our like our caveman religions. Right, so this was

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Speaker 3: a four thousand BC, right, so about six thousand years ago.

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Speaker 3: But the real champion mushroom chewers out there are found

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Speaker 3: in Mexico, Central America, and in North America up in

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Speaker 3: here the Pacific Northwest. They got a bus right now,

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Speaker 3: there's the Aztec. They had this word and I will

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Speaker 3: probably pronounce this incorrectly, but I will try tao nut coal.

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Speaker 3: I can try that faster ten nutscle. Anyway, it literally

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Speaker 3: means the divine mushroom. And I apologize for my pronunciation.

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Speaker 3: I'm terrible at that. But the Spanish conquistars when they arrived.

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Speaker 3: The monks. They documented how they are all these mushroom

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Speaker 3: meeting folks, and they had these strange effects when they

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Speaker 3: eat these mushrooms. And they had no experience with this

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Speaker 3: because even though there were cave arts in Spain, they'd

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Speaker 3: forgotten all about this because of religion. Right, So they're like,

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Speaker 3: what are they doing? So these men of God they

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Speaker 3: chalk up the effects of this mushroom, of course, to

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Speaker 3: communion with the demons and the devils.

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Speaker 2: They're just jamming out on Mexican loops hours sitting there

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Speaker 2: in a cozy curta.

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Speaker 3: The conquistitter's coming along. What's the meaning of this? So

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Speaker 3: the mushrooms they get banned as the drug of pagans,

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Speaker 3: shamans and other idolators. Right, So this doesn't stop people

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Speaker 3: from getting wicked with the shrooms. So it keeps going,

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Speaker 3: keeps going. Eventually, in the eighteen hundreds, European scientists finally

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Speaker 3: discover the mushrooms. They're like, hey, wait a minute, what

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Speaker 3: is this?

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Speaker 5: What?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 3: There's an interesting memorable introduction though, because one of the

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Speaker 3: first scientists to discover the we'll say the psychedelic aspects

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Speaker 3: of the mushroom did so by accident. So there's this

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Speaker 3: man in London. He was accidentally serving magic mushrooms to

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Speaker 3: his family for breakfast. I'm guessing about forty minutes later,

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Speaker 3: the family was having the strangest morning of their natural

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Speaker 3: born lives.

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Speaker 2: In an actual English fry up.

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Speaker 3: Exactly like the beans are moving. So if someone had

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Speaker 3: to call for a doctor, as they called themselves at

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Speaker 3: the time, an apothecary. Right, because this is seventeen ninety nine, Okay, right,

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Speaker 3: this gets written up in the London Medical and Physical journals.

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Speaker 2: They got like high heel shoes of buckle, big buckle, baby.

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Speaker 3: So this apothecary went to work to save the family

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Speaker 3: from their hallucinations and delusions and so forth. The youngest boy,

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Speaker 3: he's the most difficult to come around, right, he and

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Speaker 3: I found this. They said he had loved eating. He

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Speaker 3: he was just nibbling. So this kid, he apparently quote

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Speaker 3: was attacked with fits of immoderate laughter, nor could the

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Speaker 3: threats of his father or mother refrain him. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: they're threatening him with the buckle belts and the shoes

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Speaker 3: and they're like we will beat you with an into

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Speaker 3: your life. Stop laughing, boy, he can't stop it. It's

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Speaker 3: the mushrooms. So after that early introduction magic mushrooms, they

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Speaker 3: pretty much mostly remain a Meso American drug. Right, it

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Speaker 3: doesn't really bubble up because they're like, I don't want

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Speaker 3: my boy gibbering like an idiot like that, So it

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Speaker 3: doesn't It's not like cocaine. When they discover it, they're like,

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Speaker 3: now this is a good drug.

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Speaker 2: So I would imagine that they would they would equate

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Speaker 2: it with the you know, sort of liked being possessed. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and so that it's not you know, when they get

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Speaker 2: all coked up in they acts not.

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Speaker 3: Good for business, you know, I mean really Western drug

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Speaker 3: takers for the most it's either you want escapist or

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Speaker 3: you want good for business. So it's cocaine, caffeine, or

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Speaker 3: it's like you know, heroin and pot.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: So anyway, nineteen fifty five, a paaras scientist, they attend

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Speaker 3: an indigenous mushroom ceremony in Mexico. They document it all

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Speaker 3: because they're scientists or ethnobiologists, and they write up the

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Speaker 3: story of their time in the jungle and about getting

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Speaker 3: twisted in. The stories and photos they get published in

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Speaker 3: Life magazine. In nineteen fifty seven, Elizabeth. Can you guess

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Speaker 3: who just happened to read that Life magazine article? And

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Speaker 3: we go on to change the world because of it.

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Speaker 3: Just imagine them, like, I don't know, in a dentist's

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Speaker 3: office picking up an old copy. What is this?

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Speaker 2: Thomas P Magic, Founder, the Magic, the Gathering carts.

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Speaker 3: No Timothy Leary?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay.

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Speaker 3: So he reads this Life magazine all about the mushroom

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Speaker 3: rituals in Mexico and he's like, huh, how soon can

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Speaker 3: I get down to Old Mexico Way? And of course

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Speaker 3: he bounces down there and he finds the mushrooms. He

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Speaker 3: eats a bunch, flips his lid, loves it, opens his

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Speaker 3: head up, airs it out right, let's the Holy Universe

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Speaker 3: come rushing in. He's like, oh my god, I'm a

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Speaker 3: psych go not and then he goes back to the US.

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Speaker 3: Newborn psychonot goes back to Harvard, where he is a professor,

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Speaker 3: right right, young professor though, so he and his partner

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Speaker 3: Richard Alpert, they start the Harvard Psilocybin Project, like we're

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Speaker 3: going to study this scientifically, even though just don't talk

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Speaker 3: to Tim too much about it, right, So at this

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Speaker 3: point it's totally legal to experiment with mushrooms. Nobody has

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Speaker 3: the rules about this, right, this is nineteen sixty ish.

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Speaker 3: The rules will come around sixty four to sixty five.

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Speaker 3: They'll make it illegal sixty eight I think. Anyway, the

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Speaker 3: point being mushrooms and payoty all that stuff is basically illegal,

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Speaker 3: so they're playing around. Timothy Leary starts giving prisoners magic

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Speaker 3: mushrooms to see if it helps them, like remake who

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Speaker 3: they are, like it happened to him down in Mexico, right,

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Speaker 3: So six months after that he finds that shrooms did

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Speaker 3: in fact help the prisoners. Recidivism falls by forty percent.

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Speaker 2: Interesting.

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Speaker 3: I thought that was interesting.

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Speaker 2: I've heard a lot about, you know, people treating complex

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Speaker 2: PTSD totally it, and it's fascinating to me this notion

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Speaker 2: of how you kind of rewire them.

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Speaker 3: Reset a lot of the connections, revalue and rewait some

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Speaker 3: of them.

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Speaker 2: I've never done any psychedelics or hallucinogens because I'm so

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Speaker 2: afraid that I'll lose my mind and not be able

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Speaker 2: to get back there.

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Speaker 3: Actually is a moment the first time you do it

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Speaker 3: where you go well, I always think like this, Yes,

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Speaker 3: almost everybody has that moment and the answer is No.

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Speaker 2: I am like a hairline fracture away from just losing

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Speaker 2: it and already, and I don't need that PoTA cup cract.

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Speaker 3: So at this point we have Timothy Leary, right, and

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Speaker 3: he's like, who else can I give these mushrooms to

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Speaker 3: besides the prisoners? So he starts going, well, grad students there,

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Speaker 3: they have to listen to me. So he gets these

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Speaker 3: grad students from the Divinity Program, that second program of like,

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Speaker 3: let me give these mushrooms to these people. See how

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Speaker 3: it plays out. Doesn't go so well, right, because these

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Speaker 3: people they're not prisoners, they're like grad students. So they

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Speaker 3: write their own records. They think it's controversy, Elizabeth. It

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Speaker 3: blows up in their face. Both Larry and Richard Alpert.

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Speaker 3: They get kicked out of Harvard, right, So they lose

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Speaker 3: their prestigious jobs. Now we're in nineteen sixty three. Can

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Speaker 3: know what happens next? Tim Leary goes west, launches this

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Speaker 3: acadelic revolution in California. We've talked about that bus, the

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Speaker 3: Brotherhood of the Eternal Love, right, Okay, so back to mushrooms.

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Speaker 3: The next big pioneer is inspired by Larry Terrence McKenna

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Speaker 3: right in sixty seven, he's in Berkeley, he's a student

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Speaker 3: at cal He's heard all about this, and that's where

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Speaker 3: he decides to get into his quote opium and cabal phase. So,

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Speaker 3: in other words, he starts studying Tibetan folk religion and

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Speaker 3: smoking opium. Then he decides to travel to Jerusalem and see,

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Speaker 3: like how those ancients got high in the desert. Right,

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Speaker 3: So then he's like, it's good. Sixty nine, he bounces

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Speaker 3: over to ne Pall see how people get high in

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Speaker 3: the Himalayan planes? Right, He's like, hey, what are you

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Speaker 3: shaman smoking? Right? So then at this point he's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: how do I afford all this? I'm just this student

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Speaker 3: bumbling around. He's like, okay, I'll get into drug smuggling,

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Speaker 3: which seems like that's the move in the late sixties,

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Speaker 3: I think. So everyone's like, oh, I want to see

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Speaker 3: more of this world. I'll get into drug smuggling.

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Speaker 2: Right. It's great, you know, and you can pick up

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Speaker 2: all sorts of souvenirs, you.

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Speaker 3: Meet interesting people, you know. So he gets involved, just

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Speaker 3: like the Brotherhood Eternal Love in terms of moving various,

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Speaker 3: like the product is hashish opium. Everything out of that

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Speaker 3: part of the world right out of the Afghanistan and

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Speaker 3: so forth.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 3: So now he gets caught with one of his loads

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Speaker 3: by US customs. So he's like, oh, I need to

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Speaker 3: get out of here. He needs a new gig. He

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Speaker 3: ditches out and he goes down to Indonesia where he

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Speaker 3: becomes a butterfly collector. Oh yeah, so he's basically living

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Speaker 3: one of those epic baby boomer lives like you just

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Speaker 3: couldn't do unless you are a baby boomer. You have

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Speaker 3: jet travel, you gotta have a there's a certain window

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Speaker 3: where there just like bounce around the world. Yeah. Then

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Speaker 3: I became a butterfly collector.

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Speaker 2: But it's like his consciousness was expanded. Oh totally, he collects.

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Speaker 3: But once again, the baby boomer thing, they were the

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Speaker 3: first ones to kind of like really go off. I mean,

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Speaker 3: before this you have William william S Burrow's doing his stuff.

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Speaker 3: I mean you have previous generation of the beats, you know.

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Speaker 3: But really the hippies I want to are like go

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Speaker 3: make tramp into the jungle and bring my brother. Right. Well, anyway,

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Speaker 3: his mother, Terrace McKenny. His mother passes away, so he

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Speaker 3: has to return to America after all his drug smuggling

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Speaker 3: bouncing around the world collecting butterflies and mushrooms, and then

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Speaker 3: he goes with his brother back to the nation of

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Speaker 3: Columbia because like, okay, we got mother in the ground. Hey, brother,

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Speaker 3: let's bounce out. I'm gonna show you this world. Right Totally,

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Speaker 3: his mind's of wide open, Elizabeth, you pointed out. So

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Speaker 3: he's like, let me go open my brother's mind. So

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Speaker 3: they go tramping off in the jungle and they try DMT.

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Speaker 3: You've heard about DMT. It's like a super strong psychedelic.

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Speaker 3: Then they also try magic mushrooms, and that totally is

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Speaker 3: their thing. They're like, Okay, this one's out of all

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Speaker 3: this stuff we've tried. This is the thing. So he

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Speaker 3: gets heavy into that and he decides that mushrooms will

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Speaker 3: be the key to unlocking the Jugian collective unconscious of humanity. Okay,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, the great symbolic world mind, Elizabeth. The mushrooms,

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Speaker 3: he decides, is the magic material that the alchemists were

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Speaker 3: after that would unlock the Philosopher's stone.

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Speaker 2: Maybe.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. He hears this voice, Producer, d you may know

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Speaker 3: about this from some of your religious readings. He hears

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Speaker 3: the voice of Logos, which he then calls the teaching voice.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, the word from God, the very exactly logos

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Speaker 6: is the word. It's the all spark from transformers.

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Speaker 2: Is it's word up.

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Speaker 3: So he's basically got God whispering in his ear through

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Speaker 3: the mushrooms, Elizabeth. So at this point we're deep in

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Speaker 3: the jungle. He gets all the way out of there.

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Speaker 3: The early seventies, he returns to Berkeley. They let him

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Speaker 3: finish back his studies because again, baby Boomer, that's how

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Speaker 3: it was for them. He graduates with a degree, publishes

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Speaker 3: a book, publishes another, launches this whole mushroom revolution. Now

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Speaker 3: that we live in where people are actually considering turning

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Speaker 3: mushrooms into a treatment for as you pointed out, complex PTSD.

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Speaker 3: So these two kooks lead to this point where people

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Speaker 3: are going to be like, hey, I may have some

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Speaker 3: alleviation for my suffering God bless see. Yeah, now do

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Speaker 3: you have a different view of magic room?

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Speaker 2: I have.

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Speaker 4: It.

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Speaker 2: I'm fascinated by it. Okay, I terrified for myself, but

388
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Speaker 2: fascinated for others. Okay, interesting, Yeah, I don't think negatively.

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Speaker 3: Let's take a little break. When we get back, I'll

390
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Speaker 3: introduce you to magic. The gathering and we see how

391
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Speaker 3: long this good will carry over?

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Speaker 7: That that's the line, Elizabeth Zaren, we're back.

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Speaker 3: Hi, how are you feeling so good?

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Speaker 4: So?

395
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Speaker 3: Didn't you always worry? Like Zaren? Where is is this

396
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,359
Speaker 3: a crime? I want you to know that magic mushrooms

397
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Speaker 3: they are right now going through a part of legalization

398
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Speaker 3: where people are trying to legalize them. Right so I

399
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 3: looked into it. Or again they passed that initiative to

400
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Speaker 3: legalize it for mental health treatments. That was twenty twenty.

401
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty two, Colorado voted to decriminalize magic mushrooms. Currently

402
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Speaker 3: in the our assembling California, they are looking to legalize

403
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Speaker 3: a bunch of psychedelics, not just magic mushrooms, but lsd MDMA, DMD, mescaline, ibogaine.

404
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,199
Speaker 3: They're going nuts over there in California.

405
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Speaker 2: I think in Oakland proper, I guess there's a law

406
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Speaker 2: about how I.

407
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 3: Didn't look at the civic Yeah, down to the cities.

408
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 3: But yes, that we have decriminalized it.

409
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Speaker 2: From what I have, yes, it's that you can't sell it,

410
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: but possession of the spores is legal.

411
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 3: Exactly so, But in all but two states it's still

412
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Speaker 3: illegal to have mushrooms. So everything we're talking about here,

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Speaker 3: these are criminals, Elizabeth. I just wanted to make that clear.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

415
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 3: So now the DA they will describe I haven't described

416
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Speaker 3: mushrooms for you, so I thought i'd let the experts

417
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Speaker 3: do it. Please do the DA will describe mushrooms thusly,

418
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Speaker 3: in a really dry way. Mushrooms containing psilocybin are available

419
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 3: fresh or dried, and have long, slender stems topped by

420
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Speaker 3: caps with dark gills on the underside. Fresh mushrooms have

421
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 3: white or whitish gray stems. The caps are dark brown

422
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 3: around the edges, in light brown or white in the center.

423
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: Dried mushrooms are usually rusty brown with isolated areas of

424
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Speaker 3: off white. Did that help you at all? Not really?

425
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 3: Not really right? Especially it's like light colored mushrooms wh

426
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Speaker 3: they're dried right.

427
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Speaker 2: Well, it kind of sounds like I had like this

428
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Speaker 2: huge mushroom outbreak in my raised beds over the winter

429
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Speaker 2: of the summer.

430
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Speaker 3: I remember you t tolding me about it.

431
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Speaker 2: Like oyster mushrooms. There was a size of a dinner plate.

432
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Speaker 3: They were insane for you.

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00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 2: What if they were magic?

434
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you can be getting sideways.

435
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 2: I would i'd have like five million dollars.

436
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 3: You could have gotten your whole block sideways. Yep, Like

437
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 3: you went to five million dollars, I went to your

438
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,479
Speaker 3: whole block. Now, typically with mushrooms, I don't know if

439
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 3: you know this, you eat them, right, I would assume,

440
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 3: so you can also drink. You can drink them as

441
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: a tea, okay, right, you can even usually you'd noticed

442
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 3: with chocolates, so with other foods. My friend Chris So

443
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 3: once put magic mushrooms on a slice of pizza and

444
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 3: didn't tell me about it, and then I ate those.

445
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 3: He had a great time laughing at me will waiting

446
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,719
Speaker 3: for me to start tripping. And then I tripped in

447
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,160
Speaker 3: his in his house with him sober and me by myself,

448
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,719
Speaker 3: just going off tripping, and we had a great but rascal.

449
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 3: This is the same guy we had a I once

450
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 3: we had a a paint fight. We were painting, pouring

451
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 3: five gallon buckets of paint on the inside of each

452
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 3: other's cars and on each other's cars. He poured paint

453
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 3: from a roof under me. I threw painted so very bad.

454
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 3: We were past the point of this being like, oh,

455
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 3: that's a terrible thing to do to somebody is what

456
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 3: I'm saying, but it's wild. There was some good American fun.

457
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 2: My point.

458
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 3: Elizabeth is the DEA, So the drugon Force and agency.

459
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 3: They have thoughts about eating magic mushrooms giving them to

460
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 3: your friends unknowingly because.

461
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: Some people it's like assault, isn't it?

462
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 3: Well some people freak out? Yeah, well yeah. According to DA,

463
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 3: there's psychological consequences, including hallucinations and an inability to discern

464
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 3: fantasy from reality. Panic reactions and a psychotic like episode

465
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,919
Speaker 3: may also occur, particularly if a user ingests a high dose.

466
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 2: Oh see, I would have the panic attack to end

467
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 2: all panic attacks, because I'm always at a state of

468
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 2: like mild panic attack red on a scale of one

469
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 2: to ten. Are you having a panic attack? I'm like

470
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 2: always at two?

471
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 3: Oh really, Okay, that's lower than I thought.

472
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 2: Throughout the day, it ebbs and flows, and I think

473
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 2: at least once a day I get it up to

474
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 2: crank it up to about seven eights.

475
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, there you go. I thought you'd be like,

476
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 3: I start around three or four, I work it up

477
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 3: to seven.

478
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 2: Erections on the world, Sarah, I'm trying to be optimistic,

479
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,359
Speaker 2: right though.

480
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, as with anything Elizabeth, if you don't know this.

481
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,679
Speaker 3: In toxicology, the dose makes the poison, they say, right right, Well,

482
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 3: with mushrooms, that's kind of difficult to know what an

483
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 3: appropriate dosage is because you're just eating handfuls of dried mushrooms.

484
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,159
Speaker 3: Some have real high concentrations, some don't, and they look exactly.

485
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 2: Like saren that is exactly like halapeno peppers.

486
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 3: This really is, Elizabeth, some ub or you know.

487
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 2: A lot of peppers. You know, you take a bite,

488
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: you go, okay, that's fine, you take it. Oh howdy?

489
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 3: Like, oh can I get rid of this part of

490
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 3: my tongue?

491
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 2: So that's exactly the same.

492
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 3: So we've established that, uh, you know, magic mushrooms may

493
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 3: not be the I don't know best drug for performance

494
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 3: enhancing since you really can't know how much you're taking,

495
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 3: right and if you get it wrong you may have

496
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 3: a freak out. Yeah, okay, so enough about that, Elizabeth

497
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 3: into magic the gathering, so the tabletop gamed. What do

498
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 3: you know about it?

499
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 2: Uh? I just reacted.

500
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 3: So it was by this guy, a cat named Richard Garfield.

501
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 3: Now actually a guy Richard.

502
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, Garfield's first name is Richard.

503
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 3: Dicky Garfield back in nineteen ninety three. Right, it's a

504
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 3: lot of things. It's a trading card game. It's also

505
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 3: a tabletop game. It's a collectible. It's genius from a

506
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,160
Speaker 3: capitalism standpoint.

507
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 2: I think that ownership of the cards in the Venn

508
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 2: diagram with those who keep toys in boxes, it's an overlap,

509
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,919
Speaker 2: like on shelves. You're talking about a perfect circle.

510
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think he may be right.

511
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 2: I know I'm right. Baby.

512
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 3: I got friends. I can ask him they play this game.

513
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: I don't have friends.

514
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 3: Do you know that magic clocks a billion dollars a

515
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 3: year annually?

516
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: I'm not surprised, right.

517
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 3: But is it fun for you? Elizabeth? I doubt it.

518
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: But I gotta be honest. I've never played it.

519
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 3: Oh great, I have the rules here right in front

520
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 3: of me. How do you play the game of.

521
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: All the magic? People out there? Like, don't listen to me.

522
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 2: I am a curmudgeon. I'm no fun. You're not hurting anyone,

523
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 2: you do you?

524
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 3: You're not making fun of that.

525
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 2: You're just not in shape and run around and throw

526
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 2: your cards down, you know to hey man.

527
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 3: H Well, since you asked, how do you play the game?

528
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 2: About?

529
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 3: Do you play great question, Elizabeth. Are the wizards the

530
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,360
Speaker 3: game You and another player are dueling wizards?

531
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 2: Of course there wizards. Do you have a staff with

532
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 2: like a crystal orb? You can bring that if you

533
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 2: beat someone to duck?

534
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,679
Speaker 3: You cannot, but you were not.

535
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 2: Do the toes of your shoes curl up.

536
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 3: Onto each other if you are high ranking?

537
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 2: High ranking wizards?

538
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 3: These are just any old wizards, Elizabeth. They have a

539
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 3: special name. They're called planes walkers.

540
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 2: Do they smell like mothballs?

541
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 3: No? They do not smell. Yes, like like wing walkers

542
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 3: are the air circus. But these planes walkers, they walk

543
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 3: the planes of existence walkers.

544
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 2: That's the shoes the zodiac war by.

545
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: The way, oh look at you.

546
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 2: Fact you to take it back to something cool.

547
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 3: You must be fun at dinner parties.

548
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 2: I've never been invited.

549
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 6: We used to have in an office I worked at.

550
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 6: The creative side was all like hardwoods, and the executive

551
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 6: side was all carpets, so we called the executives carpet walkers.

552
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 3: That's good, that's a good card. So these these planes walkers, right,

553
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 3: You duel the other wizard by drawing cards from your

554
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: deck of magic cards. And these cards are spells which

555
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 3: you take turns playing and then responding to the spells

556
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 3: other wizards drop. I won't get into all the details

557
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 3: of how the magic spell cards work because I know

558
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 3: you'd have so many questions. We'd be here all day. Really,

559
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 3: So all the different kinds of cars and wizards they

560
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 3: wage battle. They take combat damage against the wizard's life total, right,

561
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 3: which is usually like twenty to start. So that's why

562
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,360
Speaker 3: they they have these twenty sided dye that they use

563
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 3: to keep track.

564
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 2: Right, I didn't know that. I thought it was just

565
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: cards war. Oh yeah, those are you just slapped down?

566
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 3: Kind of? Yeah, you'll I'll explain.

567
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: Right, like magic, huh, good play my.

568
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 3: Second card now, so magic the gathering. Obviously, I'm no expert, right,

569
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 3: I barely have I'm not even passing deck. No, I

570
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 3: do not. But I did research it. I watched a

571
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 3: bunch of competitive matches. I did. I watched a bunch

572
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 3: of competitive matches.

573
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 2: Why am I surprised?

574
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 1: Well?

575
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 3: I had to know the language and see the rhythms

576
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,479
Speaker 3: and see like how people score, and like what they

577
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: get excited about.

578
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 2: What do they wear when they're doing I'm not going

579
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 2: to do that. They wear like wrap around sunglasses.

580
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 3: It's not like poker where you want to hide your face.

581
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 3: You're not like bluffing people, so you don't need you know,

582
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 3: you don't have like Magic Gathering people who are like

583
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 3: low cut cleavage shirts so you can distract people.

584
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 2: They wear wizards hats.

585
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 3: No, but I mean something. I think some events probably

586
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 3: people get a little more dressed up.

587
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: Leather, fingerless gloves, yes or no, like.

588
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 3: The bike gloves on the cards that I saw, But

589
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Well, in my head, you're,

590
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 3: as I said, your typical magic. The gathering features the

591
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 3: two wizards and they're dueling, right, and that you can

592
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 3: also have a whole melee of planes walkers if you

593
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 3: want to. Right, they get a bunch of wizards together

594
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 3: and I'll fight at once. But these days, Elizabeth, you

595
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 3: can play on a table on a computer on your

596
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 3: phone while you're sitting in the subway. But the story

597
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 3: is about a tabletop game. So let me lay out

598
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 3: the table for you so you get an idea. I

599
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 3: went to the official Magic Gathering website. Well, this isn't

600
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 3: a metaphoric table. So step one the setup. The instructional

601
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 3: YouTube video that I watched promised me that setting up

602
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 3: the playing area is easy, and it turns out it is,

603
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 3: which is good because you and I both like easy.

604
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 3: So apparently you lay out your gameplay area with three

605
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 3: stacks of cards.

606
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:46,239
Speaker 5: Right?

607
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 3: Do you have your your deck of magic cards? You

608
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: don't call it a deck? Oh look, Elizabeth, of course,

609
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,479
Speaker 3: is you're ever playing magic the gathering, please don't call

610
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 3: it a deck. If you remember one thing I tell

611
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 3: you today, remember that because I don't want some wizards

612
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 3: looking at you like who brought the new deck? So

613
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 3: just remember that. What are we going to call it?

614
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: Great question, Elizabeth. A wizard in the no calls their

615
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 3: deck a library a library. Yeah. Now, next you shuffle

616
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 3: your deck I mean library.

617
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 2: And three stacks out of your.

618
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm getting to the library and I'm getting

619
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 3: to it.

620
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 2: Do you divide the stack of there's.

621
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 3: Different ones different You got your stack, your first one

622
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 3: the library, so keep that one in mind, the library. Right,

623
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 3: Then you draw your cards. The numbers can be determined

624
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 3: by the dueling wizards. It's usually seven cards, you know, right,

625
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: So once you draw, that's called your hand. So now

626
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 3: you got your hand? Yeah, okay, So your deck is

627
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 3: the cards that you're dealing to yourself for your hand.

628
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 3: You got it your library.

629
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 2: Own personal library.

630
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 3: Okay, so then you got a second group of cards.

631
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 3: Think of this as your discard pile. This one also

632
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 3: has a name. You want to guess what is called

633
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 3: the cauldron the graveyard. Good guest, though, oh thank.

634
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: You, beacause you know you know that I've told you

635
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 2: before that when people try and explain.

636
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 3: Games, that's why I'm explaining it.

637
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 2: Like I'll like, in my mind, I'm floating in a

638
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: field and chasing a butterfly, and I just.

639
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 3: Why do you think I've tathered you to this moment?

640
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 3: And I'm excited a game to you that we're not

641
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 3: going to play. This is even better.

642
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 6: Yes, the graveyard, and I'm watching I'm watching the blood

643
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 6: pressure cuff as this happens, so I can live narrate

644
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 6: how this is going.

645
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 3: Third stack up cards that were removed from the game. Now,

646
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 3: if you were paying attention, the first one I said

647
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 3: was a discard pile. So wait, what's different about this

648
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 3: discard pile from this other removed? Well, this third pile

649
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: it's called the exiles. So wait, exile's graveyard. What what's

650
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: the difference? Again? Great, question, Elizabeth, really bringing your your

651
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 3: A game to this. So the difference is the cards

652
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 3: in your graveyard can be resurrected. The cards in the

653
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 3: exiles pile cannot. They've been removed from the game playing dimension.

654
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 2: They rise up and return back after exile.

655
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 3: Come on now, So finally on the table is the area

656
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 3: called the battlefield. That's where all this stuff is happening.

657
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 3: So you lay down cards that your opponent, the dueling wizard,

658
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 3: lays down cards.

659
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: What's on these cards?

660
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you asked, Elizabeth. So, uh, you got

661
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 3: all this? You want me to repeat a section on Okay?

662
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 3: So each turn, each turn is broken up into five phases.

663
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 3: We're the first main phase. That's where you can play

664
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 3: like a land card or you can cast a spell card. Yeah,

665
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 3: I know it makes land or spell the different things. Okay, yeah, right,

666
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 3: So like if a land card, it doesn't matter you

667
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 3: put it down, it may last. In a spell card,

668
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 3: it gets turned into either an effect or a creature.

669
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 2: So land is it's not like, oh, this is a

670
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 2: mountain or this is Galilee. I don't know.

671
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 3: I wish I had answers for you. Yeah. So the

672
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 3: second main phase, you play a land card during say

673
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: your first main phase, right, but instead of me just

674
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 3: giving all this stuff, I don't know, I know, I

675
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 3: have like their language like that way i'll know I'm

676
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: tell you the correct no, no.

677
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 2: Because I mean I'm gonna have to. You can't even.

678
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: Understand the game yet there, so we're still on the second,

679
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 3: you're going to dazzle and then according to the official

680
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 3: website for the Magic the Gathering quote, all types of

681
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 3: cards except lands are spells while you're casting them. For example,

682
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 3: angler Turtle is a creature card. While you're casting it,

683
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 3: it's a creature's spell. When it resolves, it becomes a creature.

684
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 3: Spells can only be cast during your main phase, except

685
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: for instance, which can be cast any time.

686
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 2: What intarnation is an angler turtle spell.

687
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 3: It's just like the name of a creature. So you go,

688
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna play my Angler Turtle and the and then

689
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 3: like they go, oh you got, you know, like a

690
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 3: block or a combat damage kind.

691
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 2: Of situation comes and gets here.

692
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 3: I'm glad you asked that. This brings us to the

693
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 3: third and fourth main phases. Attacks in blocks quote, creatures

694
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 3: deal combat damage by attacking and blocking. Each creature deals

695
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 3: combat damage equal to its power. This damage is dealt

696
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 3: during the combat damage setup, and any other kind of

697
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 3: damage doesn't count as combat damage, even if it's dealt

698
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 3: during the combat phase or is the result of a

699
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 3: creature's ability. So basically, the card will have like plus

700
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 3: five on the top right when the person's like, oh,

701
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 3: I got to take plus five damage. Essentially that may

702
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 3: not be exactly correct, but that's listening. I just simplify.

703
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 2: I talk a lot of smack on these fans, and

704
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 2: it's just because I'm not smart enough to do this.

705
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 3: I know that. That's why I'm taking all this time

706
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 3: to explain it. Smart enough to understand.

707
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 2: We got a turtle, it's five.

708
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 3: So now we get the fifth phase. The end step,

709
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 3: remove any damage from the creatures still in play, resolve

710
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 3: any of the interurn effects, and pass the turn to

711
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 3: your opponents. You got that, you kind of like you

712
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 3: drop cards. You're like, I'm dropping the Angler Turtle, and

713
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 3: then the person's like, oh, that is five points damage.

714
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 3: The other person's like, wait, I can do an instant,

715
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 3: which is that when they can do a block, and

716
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 3: I go, this blocks your Angler Turtle.

717
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 2: What are you even talking?

718
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter you got all that, Elizabeth, So we're

719
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 3: gonna move on. Yeah, you're ready to get tripping and

720
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 3: see what competitive magic gathering.

721
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: Is, Like, I need magic mushrooms.

722
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: The reason we know about it. The story I'm about

723
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 3: to tell you is that this walker decided to do

724
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 3: some shrooms and compete at a magic the gathering event,

725
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 3: and then he wrote about his psychonaut adventure for an

726
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 3: article published by O. G. Gowker in May of twenty fifteen.

727
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 2: Rip do g Gocker? Right?

728
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 3: So the byeline for this gonzo semi anonymously penned article

729
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 3: who gives only the initials because once again the drug

730
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 3: is illegal, Elizabeth. So he's known as coward CML. But

731
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 3: since you would say that, I found his government name,

732
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 3: it's Chris Morris Lent, So there you go. However, out

733
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 3: of respect for his byline, we'll call him CML. So,

734
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 3: as CMO explains in his article, quote, bringing to shrooms

735
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 3: was a spontaneous decision, but I would never have eaten

736
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 3: them without some prior experience. Oh yeah, By prior experience,

737
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 3: he means his previous spontaneous shroom nibbling. He's seen Elizabeth.

738
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 3: CML was watching the NFC Championship game. The twenty fourteen

739
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 3: NFC Championship game with Aaron Rodgers and the Packers facing

740
00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 3: Marshawn Lynch in the Seattle s.

741
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 2: Are you, CML?

742
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 3: No, I have not so since I know you don't

743
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 3: know hot football. It's a very famous game. But I'll

744
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 3: just I'll tell you this a couple of highlights. You

745
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 3: know why he did what he did with the mushrooms.

746
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,919
Speaker 2: Wait a second, This is when Aaron.

747
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 3: Rodgers was on the Packers and then Marshawn Lynch, your

748
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 3: guy was on the Seattle Seahawks.

749
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 2: Was this the quake?

750
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 3: Not that? But so the game opens up. Aaron Rodgers,

751
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: he throws an interception to your guy Richard Sherman.

752
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: Oh, I like him.

753
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:30,399
Speaker 3: Yeah. Then Russell Wilson, Ciara's husband, he gives He gives

754
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 3: the Packers the ball back when he throws an interception

755
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 3: to Haha Clinton Dix.

756
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 4: Oh.

757
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 3: I don't even know that's his street name.

758
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 2: Ha Ha is right because his name's Clinton, is it?

759
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,399
Speaker 3: His government name is Hashwan Treyshawn Clinton Dix. Anyway, we're

760
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 3: watching this game. In the first quarter, CML gets the

761
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 3: idea he needs to eat some mushrooms. Well, of course

762
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 3: is like, I'm gonna help the team right where he

763
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 3: put it quote, I ate some caps and stems. Five

764
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 3: minutes in, I felt great. Fifteen minutes in I flat

765
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 3: out doors. So it didn't quite work out right. So

766
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 3: that's how it goes the mushroom. Suddenly you have to

767
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 3: go and commune with nature, right or is he put

768
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 3: it quote? After communing with nature, it came back in

769
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 3: and I lay on a couch in a room where

770
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 3: I could hear reports of endless defeat and size of

771
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: frustration issuing from the television and the sectional. It sounded

772
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 3: like fiction. The game needed a new narrator. This is

773
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 3: also how mushrooms go. You think you can influence things

774
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,720
Speaker 3: like NFL games with the power of your mind perhaps,

775
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,760
Speaker 3: and who knows, maybe you can. I don't know. Maybe

776
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 3: fans each week are doing you know, psychic battle, right,

777
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 3: and that's how they're doing me. It could be well anyway, CML.

778
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 3: He goes back in to do battle with the TV

779
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 3: and change up the scene for everyone, as he puts it, quote,

780
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 3: midway through the third quarter, I walked back to the TV, concentrated,

781
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 3: and I envisioned a fake field goal. It worked, Elizabeth.

782
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 3: It was one of the key plays of the game.

783
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 3: The coach called a fake field goal right, and he

784
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,280
Speaker 3: has this holder who's also the team's punter, take the snap,

785
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,359
Speaker 3: and then he springs up and he runs to his left,

786
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 3: and the whole defense chases after him, and then they

787
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 3: think it's a blown snap, and then the punter throws back.

788
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 3: But he throws back across the field to a rookie.

789
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 3: Not just any rookie, Elizabeth, it's a tackle, which is

790
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 3: an offensive line. They're not supposed to catch the ball.

791
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 3: They never touch the ball. He gets the ball that

792
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 3: this guy is a secret he played tight end in college.

793
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: So he changes the ball right, yes, and then he

794
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,240
Speaker 3: runs broksymore. He lumbers down the field right and then boom,

795
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 3: he scores a touchdown. Seahawks are on the scoreboard. Packer's

796
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 3: still up sixteen to seven, though, CML goes, thanks to me,

797
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 3: we're back in it.

798
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: Wow.

799
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 3: Yes, so the game is far from over. Seahawks still

800
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 3: down now. Cml's like. As the game grew, grimmer I

801
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 3: fantasized about scenarios where the Seahawks won. Can you guess

802
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 3: what happens, Elizabeth? No, these fantasies grew out increasingly albandas

803
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 3: she says, until one of them came to life. As

804
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 3: I knew it would, defeat had never been an option. Next,

805
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 3: after that success with mushroom mind melding or whatever he

806
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 3: thinks he did, our hero decides that he's gonna take

807
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 3: that same never say die attitude to the world of

808
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 3: competitive Magic the Gathering.

809
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 2: That makes sense.

810
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's take a little break and when we get back,

811
00:37:55,160 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 3: we're gonna go into Magic the Gathering with mushrooms. Elizabeth

812
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 3: arn So we've gotten through all this stuff. Now we're

813
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 3: at the like the moment. Yeah, we're like at the

814
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 3: castle walls about to go busting in. Now, why did

815
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 3: this guy want to go to a Magic the Gathering

816
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 3: and do mushrooms? I mean, you wouldn't think that's a

817
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 3: good idea. Why did he?

818
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean I've had a lot of

819
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:36,720
Speaker 2: bad ideas in my life.

820
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: We see this guy. He used to be a professional

821
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 3: online poker player. Yeah, and then he washed out of that,

822
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 3: and he's like, I gotta get back and refresh my

823
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 3: love of the cards.

824
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 2: So he's smart enough to remember how to play a

825
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 2: card game totally.

826
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 3: So he turned to Magic the Gathering to like refresh

827
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 3: his love of the game. And then he went and

828
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 3: he I'll let him tell it. CML says quote in January,

829
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 3: I won a qualifier and earned a comped ticket touss

830
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 3: to battle the most powerful planes walkers in the multiverse.

831
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 3: What he got free tickets to Brussels, Belgium in Europe

832
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 3: to go over there and compete with the best ling

833
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 3: wizards the gathering. He takes the trip, has a terrible time,

834
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 3: of course, hates it right so bad. In fact, he

835
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 3: writes an article just tearing down the Magic Pro Tour.

836
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 3: Really yeah, he puts in that quote. Magic appeals only

837
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 3: a niche demographic because its events don't matter and even

838
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 3: suck in a lot of ways for the competitors. Contrast

839
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 3: with esports, which have iconic pros and have reaped the

840
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 3: rewards of their real advertising budgets. My article elicited some

841
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 3: polarized responses, which brought me great joy.

842
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 2: So did you know that there are colleges that have

843
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 2: sports teams.

844
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm very familiar.

845
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 2: College collegiate.

846
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 3: You can be like signed and get a scholarship to

847
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 3: be an esports star.

848
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, for like you know.

849
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 3: Welcome to the President.

850
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 2: Elizabeth let candy cash.

851
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 3: So one day he learns our dude CMO learned that

852
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 3: the Magic pro Tour has an event planned in his

853
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 3: neck of the woods. Right pro Tour stop in Portland,

854
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 3: he can go troll the magic community on his own backyard.

855
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 2: A magic tournament in Portland, Oregon.

856
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, Elizabeth, do you hear it? And he's like, I

857
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 3: should bring shrooms to that.

858
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 2: It's resonating through the canyons of my mind.

859
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 3: You ready to get groovy and some shrooms and go

860
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 3: to magic the gathering stop pro Tour in Portland. So

861
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 3: the day of the competition, weekend starts about how you

862
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 3: might imagine it. CMO says, quote, our journey begins on

863
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 3: a Saturday at six am, a time I'm more likely

864
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 3: to stay up until then to get up by In

865
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,359
Speaker 3: my living room were three friends, a strip club DJ,

866
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 3: a software engineer, and a costplay photographer, which is almost

867
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 3: enough to fool you into thinking that the world of

868
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 3: competitive magic is diverse. I felt horrendous. There was only

869
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 3: one thing that can restore my equilibrium. I wish you

870
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 3: could see your face right know. I can you guess

871
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 3: what that one thing was that would restore that? You

872
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:06,439
Speaker 3: can deliver in for this guy.

873
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, why so early? Why do they

874
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 2: start this thing?

875
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 3: So you got to do a road trip. They got

876
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 3: to drive there, They drive a couple of hours, they

877
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 3: got to get there in time for the Competitionoms, yeah, mushrooms.

878
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 3: I mean he's like, hey's Strip Club DJ, hand me

879
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 3: my backpack. He's like, I don't have it. Cosplay photographer

880
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 3: down the list again. So he's all teed up ready

881
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 3: for his day, sets the mood for the road trip,

882
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 3: and then CMO in his article and I feel like

883
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 3: I have to include this because it's such a genius choice.

884
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 3: He quotes from the Insane Clown Posse. He says, quote,

885
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 3: if magic is all we've ever known, then it's easy

886
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 3: to miss what really goes on. But I've seen miracles

887
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 3: in every way, and I've seen miracles every day.

888
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: That's insane. That does not I thought they were all

889
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 2: bull Scoomy, I got your fist off the beats.

890
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 3: Maybe a little bit more or so in the look,

891
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,760
Speaker 3: but a lot of their stuff is very positive.

892
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 2: It's all okay anyway.

893
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 3: Well, so these guys are all now in the car,

894
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 3: right so Strip Club DJ, costplay photographer, software engineer, and

895
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 3: are shroomed out magically gathering competitor. Yeah, and then he's like,

896
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 3: you know, he's like, okay, I need to get my

897
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 3: head right. So he gobbles a handful of mushrooms.

898
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 2: Right, they put on their trench coats, they get in

899
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 2: the car, and.

900
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,360
Speaker 3: Then, of course, because you know everybody knows the Hunter S.

901
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 3: Thompson thing, he puts in. He writes out, quote, we

902
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 3: were somewhere around Lacey when the drug started.

903
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 2: How you've gone like four pages into the list.

904
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 3: I'm so deep. So at this point they're good zooted

905
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 3: on magic mushrooms, feeling the colors with their fingers, tasting

906
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 3: the sky with his mind. Eventually they arrive at the

907
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 3: Greater Portland Convention Center. Yeah, so they've safely arrived. CML

908
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 3: eats another handful of mushrooms. Of course, gobble. Now you

909
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 3: got to be stayed, you know, properly twisted. So but

910
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,959
Speaker 3: he declines to smoke a joint with his friend because

911
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 3: he doesn't want to mess up his mind.

912
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 2: That's a bridge too far.

913
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, we got his mix just right. You know, Bill

914
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 3: might be run and Rich Dumley run and lean inside

915
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 3: the convention center at the Magic Tournament he sees the

916
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 3: first round pairings are up on the big board, and Elizabeth,

917
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 3: I want you to be able to see this scene.

918
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 3: As CML puts it, quote, magic tournaments are, for lack

919
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 3: of a better phrase, visually stunning. The sheer number of

920
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 3: people four hundred and seventy two players in Portland, several

921
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:24,240
Speaker 3: thousand at some other events. The chaotic lurch towards match

922
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 3: pairings and orderly arrangement side by side at long, narrow tables,

923
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 3: the glaring lights and ugly carpets. You have to see

924
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 3: it to believe it. Clad in orange and sweat eye

925
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 3: was a part of it.

926
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 2: Pad an orange and swell, oh yeah.

927
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: He's got an orange T shirt on. I'll get back

928
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 3: to that in a second. Twisted head full of psilocybe

929
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 3: and hallucinating, ready to go. I look down at my hand,

930
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 3: the flesh darkened and shriveled against the bright day outside.

931
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 3: Was I to be slain and lobottomized and reanimated into

932
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 3: a dread zombie to do the bidding of vile necromancy?

933
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 3: Or was this the first sign of my transcendence to

934
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 3: a higher realm, the tender that would ignite my planes

935
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 3: walker spark, I swiped right on myself and walked toward

936
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 3: the first round. Okay, love the pros I could see

937
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 3: on your face. He turns that squirreling mind against his

938
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,360
Speaker 3: first opponent. I'd seen my opponent's deck the day before,

939
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:17,479
Speaker 3: so I stared at him through my shades and read

940
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 3: his soul. Oh shades told you, yeah, sunglasses on you.

941
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 3: So he's reading his opponent's soul. Wins the first first match,

942
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 3: goes outside, thinks about Walt Whitman, gobbles some more handfuls

943
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 3: of mushrooms, goes back inside, now ready for round two.

944
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: He's confronted with the fact he can no longer trust

945
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 3: his ears because now he cannot tell auditory hallucinations from reality.

946
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 2: His opponents is terrifying.

947
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 3: His opponent says to him, I read your article, and then

948
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 3: he's like, what, so you think the article that trashed

949
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 3: the Magic Pro Tour in Europe? Right, So goes and

950
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 3: tries to apologize, I'm sorry, and the opponent thinks that

951
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 3: he mishurt him, right, So he's like, no, I said

952
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 3: I read your article. So CML says, I've definitely eaten

953
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 3: too many, right, So he's just like starting to get

954
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 3: a little scattered. He's polite though, so he manages to

955
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 3: tell us a like what did you enjoy the article?

956
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 3: And you go, oh, I did, right, and then he

957
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 3: just destroys the guy. He's like, all right, next win.

958
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 3: So round two done in one right. Round three. A

959
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,359
Speaker 3: camera crew picks him up and they start filming him

960
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 3: because they're like, oh yeah, so now there's gonna be

961
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,720
Speaker 3: an audience at home watching him on YouTube or whatever.

962
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 3: CML wins again. He's just stacking up early wins, right.

963
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 3: His software engineering buddy comes over. He's like, hey, would

964
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 3: you classify shrewds as a performance enhancing drug? Now? He

965
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 3: doesn't answer the question because he's convinced that there's this

966
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 3: guy walking up to him in a really brusque and

967
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 3: officious manner, right, and he thinks, oh, that guy's from

968
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 3: the CIA, right, So he's convinced of it. Right, The

969
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 3: guy is not from the CIA, as't no, yeah, true,

970
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 3: he's a journalist from the team that had covered the

971
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 3: Magic Pro Tour event in Europe and recognized him and

972
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 3: also obviously read the article bashing the stuff. So he's like, yeah,

973
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 3: heyde you do you read Chuck Closterman. I want to

974
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 3: know if you reach checks. So the two of them

975
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 3: have their thoughts. Do you have thoughts on Chuckloster?

976
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 4: You know?

977
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 3: Well, so anyway, as you might guess, CML, he reads

978
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 3: Chuck Closterman, the guy from the the guy who's not

979
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 3: from the CIA. He says of Chuck Closterman, quote, you

980
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 3: know how he covers things, but he thinks he's better

981
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 3: than everyone else. So in my opinion, that makes him

982
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 3: kind of an So the two men then discussed the

983
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 3: merits of being it like Chuck Closterman. They decide his

984
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 3: writing would be better if Klosterman was actually smart and

985
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 3: not just a collector of culture. They're just bad mouth

986
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 3: and poor Chuck Closterman.

987
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 2: Right.

988
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 3: Then they describe should CML dude like write some coverage? Right,

989
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 3: and in a very Hollywood way, they're like, yes, let's

990
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 3: talk about this at a later date. Now, my man, CML.

991
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 3: He drops his sunglasses and hits the door marked exit.

992
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 3: This is day one, right, So he into friends. They

993
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 3: go out to celebrate the success so far. They eat

994
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 3: some Greek food. They empty two bottles of wine at dinner.

995
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 3: As they drink, you know, he's still discussing his shroom

996
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 3: enhanced performance and he's also still tripping because he's been

997
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 3: gobbling shrooms all day. So at this point at the tour,

998
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,399
Speaker 3: for the tour event, just for those keeping score, he's

999
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 3: eight and one.

1000
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 2: Wow.

1001
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, not bad, right. So after dinner they want to

1002
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 3: go celebrate more. They go out for more drinks. They

1003
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,760
Speaker 3: get some whiskey sours. He's convinced this will help sober

1004
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 3: him up.

1005
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: Well, nothing's so like a whiskey.

1006
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 3: Sour, right, But I always say that's my granddad used

1007
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 3: to say, that's.

1008
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 2: That they taught me in elementary school.

1009
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 3: His plan fails, Elizabeth, though, he but he still enjoys

1010
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 3: this beautiful moment of reverie. And he said, and I quote,

1011
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 3: all of life appeared before me. Boozy and diaphanous two

1012
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 3: health goths walked by Portland is all about chill hedonism,

1013
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 3: about not working and thinking playing magic there, all the

1014
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 3: stress and dyspepsia, that was well, that was hellenormative. Shroom's off,

1015
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 3: whiskey on, I'd be able to sleep. I hubered back

1016
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 3: to the hotel and did just that. So now we're

1017
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: ready for day two, Elizabeth healths health Goths. Yes, how

1018
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 3: do you think he starts Day two? That's right, more shooms.

1019
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 3: I started my morning with sir, shrooms, he says, And

1020
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 3: he goes downhill from there, and I quote, there seemed

1021
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 3: to be no point in not eating them until I

1022
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 3: understood there was nothing to get rid of the putrid taste,

1023
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 3: or was there beside my leg with some moist and

1024
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 3: fishy my Greek leftovers. There was no fork in the rooms.

1025
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 3: I stole one from the hotel lobby and chased down

1026
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,720
Speaker 3: the shrooms with the salmon skewer. There was more salmon

1027
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 3: left after Wait, so then I ate more shrooms.

1028
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 2: Wait, okay, So he eats something leftover salmon, It's gonna

1029
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:19,720
Speaker 2: upset your stomach. And then he takes salmon leftover salmon

1030
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 2: that has not been refrigerated, has in his pocket.

1031
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,719
Speaker 3: Up against his body, Warmed by his body.

1032
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: He warmed, I'm getting food poisoning.

1033
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. So now he goes back to the Pro Tour,

1034
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 3: the tourney event at the Greater Portland Convention Center. He

1035
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,280
Speaker 3: wins the first round easily.

1036
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 4: Right.

1037
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 3: A tournament judge walks by and says, with a smirk,

1038
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 3: I hear you've added a Chitucky's to your diet today.

1039
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 2: Oh and is he still wearing the pants that he has.

1040
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 3: He's still wearing the orange shirt Elizabeth, but his.

1041
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 2: Pants had salmon in it. He's got to be a pleasure.

1042
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 3: Also now that he thinks that the judges are onto

1043
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 3: him right, and that could be a problem because you know,

1044
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,399
Speaker 3: we're joking about it now. The judges are joking about

1045
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 3: it then, but their story could change later if he

1046
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 3: wins it. All they're like, this is performance enhancing drugs.

1047
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 3: So he denies it to the judge's face, right to him.

1048
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 3: He's like, oh yeah, he's like Peter talking to the Romans.

1049
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 3: He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. So

1050
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 3: next he sits for a match against a friend. That's good,

1051
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,919
Speaker 3: nice friendly match. His friend goes, hey, the rumor's true.

1052
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 3: I hear you been shroming your way through the tournament.

1053
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 3: So he's like, everybody's talking about it. So he's like,

1054
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,839
Speaker 3: hey man, and his friend actually says that I thought

1055
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 3: you'd like this. Why Why would you think shrooming for

1056
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 3: multiple days in a convention center playing magic was a

1057
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 3: good idea?

1058
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 2: I love this guy.

1059
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,720
Speaker 3: His answer is both poetic and philosophical. He says, why anything.

1060
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 2: I feel like, why is he surprised that people know

1061
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 2: that he's doing mushrooms. And I feel like he's been

1062
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:43,880
Speaker 2: telling everything.

1063
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 3: Yes, I think so and his friends EA, strip club DJ,

1064
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 3: the cosplay photographer.

1065
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 2: The rule in the software once you tell a strip

1066
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 2: club DJ.

1067
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,280
Speaker 3: P Yes, so he and his friend now don't.

1068
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,359
Speaker 2: Tell a strip club DJ and anything he wouldn't in.

1069
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 3: The paper or right in the sky. So at this

1070
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 3: point where we oh, yeah, the tournament's going on day two,

1071
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 3: our anti hero CML, he is about to qualify for

1072
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,879
Speaker 3: the elimination rounds of the tournament. That's how well he's doing.

1073
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 3: Think playoffs right, right? So he in this dueling wizard

1074
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 3: or they're in a match and they discuss intentionally tanking

1075
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 3: this match, like ending in a forced draw so that

1076
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 3: they can both qualify for the elimination rounds. And his

1077
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,240
Speaker 3: opponent tells him, you'd be the most awesome guy ever.

1078
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 3: In CML agrees I was the most awesome guy ever.

1079
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 3: He really knew how to flat or someone on trooms.

1080
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 3: So after that, he wins his next match that went

1081
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 3: catapult him onto the main stage. Now he's up back

1082
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 3: onto the camera table where the match will be filmed broadcast.

1083
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 3: There's announcers who are calling the game on This is

1084
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 3: the footage that I watched on YouTube. Yeah, so his

1085
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 3: first game before the cameras. Perhaps he gets a little

1086
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 3: self conscious, I don't know, distracted. Maybe the mushrooms are

1087
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 3: backing up on him. But he doesn't do well. He

1088
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 3: actually he's hell leave it to him, he said, quote

1089
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 3: congratulations and good luck. I said, moved by my own generosity.

1090
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 3: It's easy to be a gracious loser when you're on shrooms.

1091
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 3: It's also easy to be a gracious loser when it

1092
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 3: doesn't matter much. But if that's true, then why do

1093
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 3: we ever get salty after losing a magic Elizabeth? So

1094
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 3: at this point in the playoffs, he's in the seventh spot. Right,

1095
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 3: tournament official comes over to talk to him, and he

1096
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 3: was like, was I being ousted for five counts of

1097
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 3: delinquency and hooliganism? I was shrooming. Everybody knew I was shrooming.

1098
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 3: It's like you a little bit right, Mostly though, he's

1099
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 3: imagining things, because the official then walked past him to

1100
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 3: the guy behind him, tapped him on the shoulder and

1101
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 3: then said, oh, yeah, you've got ninth. You're out right.

1102
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 3: So he's like, oh, and that's the guy who he

1103
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 3: had split the draw with to get him. Man guilty. Anyway,

1104
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 3: onto the quarterfinals. At this point, cml's head fully spinning,

1105
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 3: questioning reality. Convinced everyone knows he's on mushrooms.

1106
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 2: And he said, he still has to do calculations.

1107
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 3: I put down the cards and they get about how

1108
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 3: many cards they have. And yes, so anyway, he's rolling good,

1109
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:08,839
Speaker 3: he says, like Jesus from the Big Lebowski. He rolls

1110
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 3: his way into the semis. So at one point when

1111
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 3: he looks down at his deck box, you know, he's

1112
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 3: a hallucinating so much that he sees this symbol and decides,

1113
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 3: that's the tree of my ancestry. Yes, the tree of

1114
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 3: his ancestry does not help him. He plays badly that round,

1115
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 3: but the tree of his ancestry, So somebody pulls it

1116
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 3: out because I don't know. He must have dropped the

1117
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 3: craziest combos of creature cards ever, But I wish I

1118
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 3: could tell you, But let's be real, I know you

1119
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 3: wouldn't care. So my man CML must reminded troll. He

1120
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,839
Speaker 3: wins his way into the finals the big Game, Elizabeth,

1121
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 3: At this point, you need to have a visual of

1122
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 3: our hero CML wearing the orange T shirt over a

1123
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,399
Speaker 3: button down collared shirt. So that looks so the collar

1124
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,280
Speaker 3: started unevenly popping up out of the orange T shirt,

1125
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 3: which is always a great look, and then the orange

1126
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 3: T shirt looks like it's from the bottom of a

1127
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 3: pile of dirty clothes. His shortish brown hair is kind

1128
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 3: of matted, and he has the sunglass is on top

1129
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 3: of his head like a seventies movie star, but on

1130
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 3: him it's like he forgot they were up there anyway.

1131
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 3: His face is decorated with a mustache, but that's obscured

1132
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 3: by the uneven two week old beard. His eyes swimming

1133
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 3: in his face right to the top of it all off.

1134
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 3: He has this sort of goofy grin. Okay, the mushrooms

1135
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 3: and he hits the finals heavily. Mushroom codd look right,

1136
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 3: and the whole finals is just quite a scene. I

1137
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 3: watched the thing on YouTube. It's amazing. But rather than

1138
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 3: me tell you about it, Elizabeth, I'd like you to

1139
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 3: close your eyes and I'd like you to picture it. No,

1140
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 3: you are in the Greater Portland Convention Center. The air

1141
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 3: is conditioned, and the sounds of the crowd give the room.

1142
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 3: It's vibe hushed conversations like you'd hear at a chess

1143
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 3: championship or a golf tournament. At the moment, you are

1144
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 3: at a table and there is an expensive video camera

1145
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 3: trained on you. There are also headphone wearing announcers watching

1146
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 3: your every move and commenting on it for the viewers

1147
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 3: at home. This all makes sense because you are facing

1148
00:53:56,760 --> 00:54:00,720
Speaker 3: CML in the finals. You are a dueling with Of course,

1149
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 3: I am that's right, Elizabeth, your planning for the whole mcgilla.

1150
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 3: This it's you versus him to win all the kit

1151
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 3: and caboodle of this pro magic tour. You look over

1152
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:12,399
Speaker 3: your library of cards one last time. Your mind is set.

1153
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,399
Speaker 3: You look up from your cards when you hear your

1154
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 3: opponent CML say to no One in particular, I am

1155
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 3: where I need to be? Come again, you replied, not

1156
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 3: sure you heard your opponent correctly. Your opponent, he doesn't answer. Instead,

1157
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 3: he sort of stares at you with eyes like swirling

1158
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 3: pinwheels of an inebriated cartoon character. He mutters again once again, too,

1159
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 3: no one in particular. A flashback within a flashback within

1160
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 3: a flashback that makes absolutely no sense to you. So

1161
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 3: instead You play your first card. He counters with his card,

1162
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 3: the Temple of Malady. You check your cards, nothing good

1163
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:49,319
Speaker 3: to counter. You have to draw. The announcers say it's

1164
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 3: not the best mood, but you should be in fine shape.

1165
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 3: Your pinwheeled eyed opponent grins at you, then plays a

1166
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 3: death missed Raptor, and he lays down his hand. You

1167
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 3: put his whole spread. You put a hand to your forehead.

1168
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,719
Speaker 3: Has he got you? He has got you? Has any

1169
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 3: what card can you play? The announcers speculate what cards

1170
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 3: you have in your hand, what cards you have in

1171
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 3: your deck? You stall for time. Your opponent has definitely

1172
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 3: got you up against a magical wall. Meanwhile, he confidently

1173
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,359
Speaker 3: grins at you like a drunk cheshire cat. You can

1174
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,720
Speaker 3: see the game and move on to game two. But again,

1175
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,319
Speaker 3: early on, he's got you playing cards and stepping into

1176
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 3: his trapped It's like he can see through the deck.

1177
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,839
Speaker 3: It's like he can see into your soul. Then you

1178
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 3: hear him say you're pretty sure to himself once again,

1179
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 3: I am one with my deck. I am the whip

1180
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 3: of Arebos that resurrected the Hornet Queen. I am the

1181
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 3: satire wayfinder that blazed a fretty trail through the Virgin Lands.

1182
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 3: I am the temple of Malady that sucked dry the

1183
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:52,280
Speaker 3: forest of impurity and affliction. Before you know it, twenty

1184
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 3: five minutes later, it's all over. You've lost. You're not

1185
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 3: sure how he did it, but his cards were like

1186
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,800
Speaker 3: piano keys under the fingers of Franz Lipt. He played

1187
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 3: the game so beautifully it was like he indeed was

1188
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 3: the whip of Arabos that resurrected the Hornet Queen. He

1189
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 3: did it, Elizabeth, They did it to you. Can you like?

1190
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 3: It's just tell me how it felt to be at

1191
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:14,439
Speaker 3: a magic the Gather.

1192
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 2: I played that draw for.

1193
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 3: And by the way, he won and successfully trolled the

1194
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 3: magic the Gathering community wins it all right, agent a chaos,

1195
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 3: which I thought you would appreciate. He did it on

1196
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 3: magic mushrooms, which I appreciated. Now, one question, can you

1197
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 3: imagine if you were his significant other, you had to

1198
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 3: spend this weekend in the Portland Convention Center rooting for

1199
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 3: your dueling wizard.

1200
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 2: This person actually went up there.

1201
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 3: I don't think he has. I was just throwing it

1202
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:49,880
Speaker 3: out there as a speculation after his performance enhanced victory

1203
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 3: CMO has to pop over and give a winner's interview

1204
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 3: on camera. Somehow, on camera he seems kind of sober.

1205
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 3: Of course, obviously he's not all told. Dude wins five

1206
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 3: thousand dollars. Wow, splits the with the top four players.

1207
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 3: Oh real, nice guy. He takes on twenty two to fifty.

1208
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 3: On the way home, CML still has a head full

1209
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: of mushrooms, and so as the road is rolling on

1210
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 3: underneath the car, he says, and I quote, I closed

1211
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 3: my eyes to Vista's endless geometry, all was well, there

1212
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 3: you go. It's a little trip for you, Elizabeth. What's

1213
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 3: our ridiculous takeaway here?

1214
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 2: Oh? Stay far away from Portland, Oregon when you're on

1215
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 2: mushrooms and wanting to play magic together. I don't know.

1216
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 3: You can find this in Santa Cruz.

1217
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 2: That's true.

1218
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 3: You can find this cry, that's true. There's somebody. What

1219
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:39,480
Speaker 3: is it about that?

1220
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 2: What is it that the woods us to.

1221
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 3: That you won't find? I want to know to people

1222
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 3: playing magic, the gathering in the desert, or is this

1223
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 3: more like the Pacific Northwest kind of thing?

1224
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 2: I think it's I think you can only buy them

1225
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 2: New Mexico.

1226
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 3: Let us hear Arizona, South Nevada raised house. So my

1227
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 3: ridiculous takeaway, Elizabeth, thank you for asking. Right is I

1228
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 3: found a game that I don't think you'll ever play.

1229
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 3: And you love games.

1230
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 2: I do love games.

1231
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm going to buy a Magic the Gatherings.

1232
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 2: What if I get so into it that's all I do.

1233
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 3: Then I'm gonna find somebody who like, really like a

1234
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 3: kid who wants you to play.

1235
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 2: I don't have the wattage in my head to make

1236
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 2: it work.

1237
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 3: Sure you do, well, you move for a talkback. We

1238
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 3: can refresh that wattage, producer. Do you got to talk back? Ready? Sure?

1239
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 3: Do you? Oh?

1240
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, super I love you.

1241
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 5: Hi, Saron and Elizabeth.

1242
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 4: Uh So.

1243
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 5: The other night I went to my first ever live

1244
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 5: comedy show with my friend and while we were waiting

1245
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 5: for the main act, there was trivia up on the

1246
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 5: screen and the question was this was the first person

1247
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 5: to win a Grammy for Comedy Album. And I turned

1248
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 5: my friend and said, oh my gosh, we were just

1249
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,920
Speaker 5: talking about that, and she was like what, And then

1250
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 5: I realized it had been me listening to a Ridiculous

1251
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 5: crime and Zarin talking about Bob Newhart. I love the show.

1252
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 2: Thanks at the bar trivia for yeah, I love that.

1253
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 3: Yeahs was bar trivia, they said trivia, they did say. Anyway,

1254
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 3: as always, you can find us online Ridiculous Crime on

1255
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 3: the social media is We're over on the Blue Skies

1256
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 3: now and so look for us there, and we have

1257
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 3: our website, ridiculous Crime dot com. Check it out. We

1258
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 3: got all sorts of merch for you. And obviously we

1259
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 3: love the talkback, so go to the iHeart app download it,

1260
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 3: leave us a talkback maybe here at your voice here.

1261
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 3: And also you can email us if you like Ridiculous

1262
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 3: Crime at gmail dot com. As always started deer producer

1263
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 3: d Thanks for listening. We will catch you next crime.

1264
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 3: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnettes,

1265
00:59:56,680 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 3: produced and edited by the satire Wavefinder That Lazed of

1266
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 3: Freddy Trail. Dave Houston is starring Annalis Rucker as Judith.

1267
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 3: Research is by the inventors of the tabletop card game

1268
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:12,040
Speaker 3: Tragic The Ungathering Marissa Brown and Andrea Song Sharpened Tear,

1269
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 3: Our theme song is by the Temple of Malady that

1270
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 3: Sucked Dry The Force of Impurity and Affliction aka Thomas

1271
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 3: Lee and Travis Dudno. Host wardrobe provided by Botany five

1272
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 3: hundred guest hair and makeup by Sparkleshow and Mister Andre.

1273
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 3: Executive producers are Magic the Gathering pro Tour announcers Ben

1274
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 3: Boleen and Noel.

1275
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 2: Brown Cime Say It one more Time.

1276
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 1: Cry Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more

1277
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 1: podcasts My heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

1278
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.