Speaker 1: This is not a brag. I was gonna say, like
Speaker 1: a humble brag. It's not humble. It's not a brag.
Speaker 1: It's a fact. I know a lot. And I'm when
Speaker 1: I when I'm hesitating to say most famous people, like
Speaker 1: but I don't think I know more. I don't know
Speaker 1: how many famous people that are. I I mean famous
Speaker 1: in like celebrity culture. I would say at a certain
Speaker 1: level and a certain group. I know maybe like twenty
Speaker 1: five percent of famous people. Like and what does no mean?
Speaker 1: I've met Justin Timberlake twice. I don't know him. I
Speaker 1: haven't met Selena Gomez. I I'm thinking of current people
Speaker 1: right now. I haven't met Taylor Swift, I know, but
Speaker 1: I know older. I know Katie Kirk, I know Ellen,
Speaker 1: I know Gail King, haven't met, don't know Oprah Um,
Speaker 1: no Slash have met a couple of times, Rees Witterspoon,
Speaker 1: but no, if I was at a party, she'd say, no,
Speaker 1: Slash of Metgaga, Like I know a decent amount of
Speaker 1: famous people, you know, so like I wouldn't say twenty
Speaker 1: five percent of like every TikTok star or twenty two
Speaker 1: year old musical artist, but of my generation, like of
Speaker 1: the middle aged running from like Matthew McConaughey, you know,
Speaker 1: to like a Tofer Grace or something. So maybe a
Speaker 1: little and now twenty percent. Maybe I know I know
Speaker 1: a decent amount of people, so I would like to
Speaker 1: tell you celebrities that are not assholes. This is not
Speaker 1: going to be all of them, because I know a
Speaker 1: lot of people, but I just randomly, I'm just going
Speaker 1: to tell you about celebrities that are definitively not assholes.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready. Maybe on my deathbed and maybe a soon,
Speaker 1: or I'll tell you about celebrities that are assholes. So
Speaker 1: here are celebrities who are not assholes. So Kelly Rippa
Speaker 1: is not an asshole. You know, I'm friends with her,
Speaker 1: but that's why I'm friends with her. Everybody who knows me,
Speaker 1: who really knows me, like you could call Kelly an
Speaker 1: Aska right now. I've never asked her for a single thing.
Speaker 1: I don't want anything from her. I don't want anything
Speaker 1: from anyone. Nobody has anything I want. I like her
Speaker 1: because she's cool. We are similar, and I became friends
Speaker 1: with her because of that. Because I met her years
Speaker 1: ago when I was a nobody at a sushi restaurant
Speaker 1: in the Hamptons, and that's how you really know when
Speaker 1: someone's not an asshole. And by the way, there are
Speaker 1: people that I know who are assholes to me then
Speaker 1: and still are, and I respect that more than being
Speaker 1: an asshole to me then and nice to me now.
Speaker 1: So Kelly Rippa is definitively not an asshole. There are
Speaker 1: people that are half an asshole, and there are people
Speaker 1: that you think are so nice that are assholes. From
Speaker 1: like so you could you could read it totally wrong.
Speaker 1: Kevin Nealen is so the opposite of an asshole, and
Speaker 1: it's hard to even like put him in the same
Speaker 1: sentence as that. But he just for some reason came
Speaker 1: to my lady Gaga is he is not an asshole.
Speaker 1: She is so cool and nice and real sea beyond
Speaker 1: and not an asshole. Opposite of an asshole. And there
Speaker 1: are people Rhese Witherspoon the opposite of an asshole. Matthew
Speaker 1: McConaughey is completely not an asshole. Of course, you can
Speaker 1: imagine the deck shuffling and me thinking of the assholes.
Speaker 1: I actually do know. Ryan's seacrest is the opposite of
Speaker 1: an asshole. And I'm gonna tell you why about Ryan's secret,
Speaker 1: because and I could give color on certain people, like
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga is just cool. Lady Gaga when I met
Speaker 1: her at a party, was so nice and then also
Speaker 1: like commented on a TikTok of mine, like to make
Speaker 1: me feel better when I wasn't feeling well. Like that's
Speaker 1: the opposite of an asshole. Gabrielle Reese married to Larat
Speaker 1: Hamilton's the opposite, like going out of your way. Jenny
Speaker 1: Garth opposite, going out of your way to be a nice,
Speaker 1: good person. Oh Ellen Pompeo opposite of an asshole. Debra
Speaker 1: Messing opposite of an asshole. Susan Sandon met her years
Speaker 1: ago when I was baking cookies and I had eight
Speaker 1: thousand dollars in my name to my bank account, and
Speaker 1: like would deliver them to her house and I try
Speaker 1: to connect to her and her daughter and try to
Speaker 1: be somebody, and she was as nice then as ever.
Speaker 1: She's the opposite of an asshole. Mario Lopez has always
Speaker 1: been nice since he was a kid. He's not an asshole.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to keep a list and write because
Speaker 1: it's nice for you guys to know the people that
Speaker 1: you support or don't, and like you could. There are
Speaker 1: people that you know that I've met and know, and
Speaker 1: if I'm not mentioning that you know some of these
Speaker 1: some people I know are half an asshole, and some
Speaker 1: people I know are full assholes trying so hard to
Speaker 1: pretend that they're not assholes. That's worse. I'd rather an
Speaker 1: asshole be an asshole, But someone trying so hard to
Speaker 1: pretend they're not an asshole, that's a different story. I
Speaker 1: know from secondhand that Meryl Streep is the opposite of
Speaker 1: an asshole because I know her agent who's worked with
Speaker 1: her for ten thousand years, and he wouldn't have worked
Speaker 1: with her for ten thousand years if she were And
Speaker 1: Sarah Jessica Parker's is not an asshole? Should we make
Speaker 1: a definition for asshole someone who's like fronting and stunting
Speaker 1: and only doing it when it should show and like
Speaker 1: not if you really saw who they really were, would
Speaker 1: you likely dig like you know what I mean? Like, Oh,
Speaker 1: hold is the opposite of an asshole? Hold is great?
Speaker 1: By the way, I can't think of one person at
Speaker 1: the Today's Show who is an asshole. Every every talent
Speaker 1: that The Today Show has had has been nice, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, my head's going over to GMA and I
Speaker 1: don't know that group as well. Tell me if you
Speaker 1: like this game, I certainly like it. But what I
Speaker 1: was gonna say is, so an asshole someone who like
Speaker 1: isn't is fronting and stunting and not presenting themselves a
Speaker 1: way that they actually are to people that actually know them.
Speaker 1: And that based on what I know from you guys
Speaker 1: in comments and connecting with you over these years, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't dig. There'd be a lack of authenticity and some
Speaker 1: of them would really surprise. You know who's not an asshole?
Speaker 1: Seth Myers totally not an asshole? Oh my god. The
Speaker 1: biggest opposite of an asshole, like and the reason I'm
Speaker 1: giving opposite of asshole awards is because like they've gone
Speaker 1: out of their way that they didn't need to, Okay,
Speaker 1: and also sometimes it's it's proportionate to the level of
Speaker 1: their fame. So like for example, Sebastian Maniscalco I think
Speaker 1: his last name is, I just discovered him and I
Speaker 1: messed a chain and his wife on Instagram, Stepily, because
Speaker 1: I just wanted to like connect and I want to
Speaker 1: go see a show and so like he was nice
Speaker 1: back to me, but like, and he's very famous in
Speaker 1: doing very well, and often like a person at that
Speaker 1: level thinks they're hot shit and like they'll be an asshole.
Speaker 1: They're not even at like, you know, a list status yet,
Speaker 1: but like sometimes they think they're really like a hot stepper,
Speaker 1: but I don't I won't give an opposite of an
Speaker 1: asshole award usually to someone at that level. I'll give
Speaker 1: an opposite of an asshole award to someone who like
Speaker 1: almost because no one has the reason to be an asshole,
Speaker 1: but like almost has a reason to be an asshole
Speaker 1: because they're so bob third or just so above where
Speaker 1: I am. That like you could almost excuse them because
Speaker 1: they're so phenomenal, if that makes any sense. Like, I'm
Speaker 1: not excusing being an asshole, but they could almost get
Speaker 1: away with it. So Chris Rock is the number one
Speaker 1: opposite of an asshole, and I'm gonna give you receipts.
Speaker 1: Why So, I don't know if I was on Instagram
Speaker 1: or how. I initially reached out to Chris Rock when
Speaker 1: it was years ago to like connect on something, and
Speaker 1: he responded just very simple like response back and forth.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I met him in Miami at an event,
Speaker 1: and I would never I would never repeat it. But
Speaker 1: he told me. We were comparing divorce notes, and he
Speaker 1: told me what he pays, and I'll just never forget
Speaker 1: him just making a joke about it. Not the number.
Speaker 1: I would never repat the number, but I'm sure he's
Speaker 1: made jokes about that in his act. He has actually,
Speaker 1: and he was nice and we connected and I messaged
Speaker 1: him and he responded, and we have like a very
Speaker 1: very brief, very brief answer generated to buy me, not him.
Speaker 1: But when I was going to do stand up for
Speaker 1: the first and only time for five minutes, which has
Speaker 1: never been released because I went up at New York
Speaker 1: Comedy Club in New York to try something and no
Speaker 1: one has any record of it except for me. I
Speaker 1: messaged people that I know and like bullshit, no, you know,
Speaker 1: so like I know Kathy Griffin and she responded and
Speaker 1: gave me amazing tips, and people like Kim Whitfield and
Speaker 1: Ellen DeGeneres responded, and you know other people. But Chris
Speaker 1: Rock responded in multiple paragraphs with detail. I could tell
Speaker 1: you what he said. I could tell you what he said,
Speaker 1: you know, improvising, he said, it's a very personal thing
Speaker 1: and not to go in there with an entourage. But like,
Speaker 1: don't get this twisted. We don't really know each other,
Speaker 1: like he he like had respect for this craft in
Speaker 1: a way that I was going to try something which
Speaker 1: could also be insulting, like oh you dumb, dumb, We're
Speaker 1: gonna just walk in and like number one, this is
Speaker 1: what he said i'd make I would never share, like
Speaker 1: I'm not a text sharer on social media, like this
Speaker 1: isn't this, I've said this before. This is like Ellen
Speaker 1: said to me, be funny, like I'm not exaggerating. That's
Speaker 1: what she said to me. That was her second line.
Speaker 1: He said, I'd make sure I did it privately, like
Speaker 1: at a small club unannounced before I charged money to
Speaker 1: do it. Check cute that he thinks I would charge money,
Speaker 1: but I did get last by the way. Two, I
Speaker 1: would go with no more than one friend. Comedy is
Speaker 1: very intimate. It's not a group activity. The best comics
Speaker 1: role solo. Great advice. Did that? Also, make sure you
Speaker 1: know how you're going to start and how you're going
Speaker 1: to end. The middle is a feeling. If I were you,
Speaker 1: I'd hire a comedy coach trainer, and he shouted out
Speaker 1: a woman named lim Copleit, so Lynn call me because
Speaker 1: I did do a decent job for five minutes. I
Speaker 1: definitely did like I could do it. People have said
Speaker 1: you should do stand up. I could do it, but
Speaker 1: I also wouldn't disrespect the crap. I've been like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I could do it. Dip in like it's
Speaker 1: a hard work and like, I just watched Chris Rock
Speaker 1: special and meanwhile, it's funny because he says, make sure
Speaker 1: you know how you're going to start and how you're
Speaker 1: gonna end because he felt in his recent special selective outrage.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Chris Rock is my number one opposite of
Speaker 1: an asshole because he does not need to go into
Speaker 1: like he could be like, you know, just be yourself.
Speaker 1: Friends that I have that are stand up comedians gave
Speaker 1: less than Chris Rock. He's getting number one opposite of
Speaker 1: asshole award. So if you like this, which I know
Speaker 1: you do, I'll do more, and I'll think of other people,
Speaker 1: and I'll keep a list of assholes and non assholes
Speaker 1: and one day will pop the asshole panyata. Not today,