Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Yo, Elizabeth Dutton.
Speaker 3: Hey is Aaron Burnette.
Speaker 2: It's me Burnett.
Speaker 3: Oh, hey is Aaron Burnette?
Speaker 2: Yes for you? While you were Herenette? So, uh, do
Speaker 2: you know what's ridiculous?
Speaker 3: I do?
Speaker 2: I do you want to share it with Aaron Burnett?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I do want to share it with Annette? So mashups? No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: no no no, Calm down, Calm down. I mean, technically,
Speaker 3: I like to think of it as one product meeting
Speaker 3: another product that are not in the same so like.
Speaker 2: Rock meets rap and then all of a sudden, I
Speaker 2: got the Judgment Nights soundtrack precisely.
Speaker 3: That is exactly what that is. A mash up there,
Speaker 3: but also those are two musical things. I like it
Speaker 3: when it's like a clothing product and a food product,
Speaker 3: or like you know, a bathroom product and a.
Speaker 2: Sky skin of food product.
Speaker 3: And yeah, come on, let's be honest. Okay, so this
Speaker 3: isn't a mashup in my book, but it's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I'm listening.
Speaker 3: It's I mean, it's food related. It's like ridiculous food,
Speaker 3: which is going to be like my little sub segment
Speaker 3: on this show ridiculous food. So the craft Heinz company familiar.
Speaker 2: Yes, ridiculous maker of fine ketchups and cheeses.
Speaker 3: Yes, they unveiled the Heines Remix Remix musical there it is.
Speaker 3: It's the first customizable and IoT internet of things like
Speaker 3: touchscreen enabled digital sauce dispenser that is going to let,
Speaker 3: as they say, consumers personalize their own flavor creations.
Speaker 2: So I could like hack in and like make somebody's
Speaker 2: sauce go crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, So here's the thing. They tout that
Speaker 3: it was developed in record speed six months from initial
Speaker 3: brief to the physical product. Doesn't that feel like in
Speaker 3: a movie. That's when it's like, oh, we did this
Speaker 3: too fast, and then now it's going to like become
Speaker 3: sentient to kill people.
Speaker 2: With sauce sauce two thousand, Yes, like, no, you.
Speaker 3: Didn't do the proper testing anyway. There are over two
Speaker 3: hundred potential sauce combinations.
Speaker 2: Now Sky that is conscious.
Speaker 3: It's part of their away from home division, which means
Speaker 3: this doesn't go in your house unfortunately. Resis fine, just.
Speaker 2: Like a fun, flirty thing for couples to do.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, well, here's the thing Okay. So first
Speaker 3: you select from a range of bases. So heinz ketchup,
Speaker 3: ranch fifty seven sauce, and barbecue sauce.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm making like a secret sauce out of these.
Speaker 3: No, those are the that's the base, that's the foundation.
Speaker 3: And then no, no, no.
Speaker 2: One of one of them. Okay, okay.
Speaker 3: Then you personalize it further with one or more quote
Speaker 3: enhancers Julapano or Gilapino, smoky chipotle cht is pretty good,
Speaker 3: buffalo and mango.
Speaker 2: Buffalo as in the flavor of the animality it's stirred
Speaker 2: from buffalo.
Speaker 3: And then the intensity level low medium are high, so
Speaker 3: that someone out there can be brewing up high intensity
Speaker 3: mango ranch.
Speaker 2: I want low intensity buffalo ketchup.
Speaker 3: That's good, right, No, I want high intensity, high intensity
Speaker 3: smoky Chipotle. Well you can do more than one smoky Chipotle,
Speaker 3: buffalo mango ranch.
Speaker 2: Wow, you're practically a food influencer at this point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2: That amazing.
Speaker 3: So this, like I said, they're in restaurants and fine restaurants.
Speaker 2: They also can I gift somebody one of these?
Speaker 3: Yeah, What'sho's going to stop you? I'm not going to
Speaker 3: stop you. It's you know, they're responding to consumer trends basically,
Speaker 3: and they're disrupting the whole food service.
Speaker 2: Does Sharper image still exists? Can I or go to
Speaker 2: sharp exactly image?
Speaker 3: Just go down to Sharper Image and tell me about
Speaker 3: what happens when you ask for the Heines remix.
Speaker 2: San Francisco's gone. I know that much.
Speaker 3: I know it's still gone too. Is ridiculous.
Speaker 2: That's wild.
Speaker 3: Everything is us.
Speaker 2: Well, if you got a second, you know what else
Speaker 2: is ridiculous? What? Okay? I got one for you, Elizabeth. Okay,
Speaker 2: last year I was I was reading about this this
Speaker 2: socialite she lost her little baby, which happened to be
Speaker 2: a dog. And the socialite she feared that her cute
Speaker 2: little animal child had been stolen and was going to
Speaker 2: be ransomed off. So you know, but this this sounds like,
Speaker 2: you know that you're being hyperbolic. Why would you think that?
Speaker 2: But she had good reason because she had been the
Speaker 2: victim of a like a target of thieves and I'm
Speaker 2: talking like the Bling Ring, right, she had been a
Speaker 2: target of the Bling ring. So she was worried. But
Speaker 2: this this wasn't some you know, jewelry and cloud obsessed
Speaker 2: la kids who'd hit her. This was pet nabbing, Elizabeth,
Speaker 2: I don't like this. Yeah, So what did this worried
Speaker 2: social I do? Well, there was a priceless and precious
Speaker 2: life on the line, namely her dog, Diamond Baby. So
Speaker 2: how could the socialite get her beloved dog back? Elizabeth? Well,
Speaker 2: first she hired a team of pet psychics. When that
Speaker 2: failed to recover her missing pooch, next she turned to
Speaker 2: a pet detective. Did that work? Well, we'll find out.
Speaker 2: This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,
Speaker 2: and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free and ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Arizabeth Zaron. I got a question for you, he is, well,
Speaker 2: not really a question, but like a statement, a string
Speaker 2: of words.
Speaker 3: This isn't so much a question but a comment exactly.
Speaker 2: Long time listener, first time caller. I want to talk
Speaker 2: to you about pet detectives, priceless fur babies, and the
Speaker 2: socialite Paris Hilton.
Speaker 3: I'm ready, all right.
Speaker 2: You know how Paris Hilton, Right, she's like a skin
Speaker 2: mommy to a bunch of pets, right, And I'm sure
Speaker 2: you know she's also been known to sport a little
Speaker 2: handbag pooch or two, right, and she likes to keep
Speaker 2: those things on her right. But in her case, that
Speaker 2: thing is a fluffy chihuahua. Now you don't have to understand, Elizabeth,
Speaker 2: Paris Hilton's pet HuaHua is no ordinary fur baby.
Speaker 3: Of course.
Speaker 2: No. No, I mean, like back in twenty fifteen, the
Speaker 2: New York Post, well, they ran a headline that said,
Speaker 2: or really, I should say, declared how Paris Hilton's Chihuahua
Speaker 2: changed the world forever. Oh really, Oh yeah, that was
Speaker 2: a legit headline. Really, I'm not even kidding out. So
Speaker 2: is it hyperbolic? Yes? Is it? Is? It? Possibly overrated?
Speaker 3: But yes, exactly the dog brokeer piece in the middle
Speaker 3: they did.
Speaker 2: And finally that's how we got the abram of course,
Speaker 2: but anyway, inaccurate, not exactly, because as I learned from
Speaker 2: the article, Elizabeth, I read it, and in there they
Speaker 2: discussed how Paris Hilton's chihuahua was at that time the
Speaker 2: most famous animal in the world. Hmmm, right, yeah, we're
Speaker 2: talking early two thousand.
Speaker 3: I debate that, but yes, oh I'm.
Speaker 2: Glad you did, cause I have the New York Post
Speaker 2: right here to debate you. Here we go. According to
Speaker 2: New York Post, quote back in two thousand and three,
Speaker 2: tinker Bell made her television debut on The Simple Life.
Speaker 2: Opposite her eccentric owner featured on the poster for the show,
Speaker 2: tinker Bell was an instant breakout star, a real life
Speaker 2: Bruiser Woods. The fabulously privileged tinker Bell quickly became not
Speaker 2: only the world's most famous pet, but the world's most
Speaker 2: famous animal. See it's right there in pren.
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Bruiser Woods.
Speaker 2: The from l Woods's dog from Legally Blonde.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what she was modeling. It's art imitating life,
Speaker 2: imitating art.
Speaker 3: That the dog was on Paris Hilton's Dog.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Nicole Richie A Simple Life. You don't watch TV.
Speaker 3: When was this?
Speaker 2: It's like two thousand and three.
Speaker 3: Oh I wasn't born yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, you were just a wee babe, a glimmer
Speaker 2: in your mommy's eyes yet. So there were a puppy
Speaker 2: ended up becoming a trendsetor Elizabeth. I'll just tell you
Speaker 2: all about it. Right. So back to the post because,
Speaker 2: like of course quote, the heiress is often credited with
Speaker 2: the rise of the pet as accessory, but While tinker
Speaker 2: Bell certainly looked great in a purse, there was no
Speaker 2: denying the bond between the starlet and her closest friend.
Speaker 2: In fact, the post goes on to credit the dog
Speaker 2: with humanizing Paris Hilton. The doggie proved that the Heiress
Speaker 2: wasn't just some vapid, emptied eyed they get stared coat hanger.
Speaker 2: But she loved dogs.
Speaker 3: She's just like us, you know, Like, does she carry
Speaker 3: the dog in a purse because the dog lost its
Speaker 3: legs and has no legs.
Speaker 2: The dog had legs warm. No, it was just really
Speaker 2: like being close to her and being you know, it
Speaker 2: knew what it was in for. Yeah, right, And it
Speaker 2: also was down to show that Paris Hilton had recognizable
Speaker 2: human emotion. That Gade was like, this is my job.
Speaker 2: I make her look human.
Speaker 3: I can keep something alive exactly.
Speaker 2: So tink about the chihuahua becomes a star on her
Speaker 2: own or its own. I don't know if it's a
Speaker 2: male or female. Anyway. The dog, by the way, passed
Speaker 2: away in twenty fifteen. Sadly. Yeah, so she loses the
Speaker 2: Bell devastates Paris, right, but she soldiers on Elizabeth and
Speaker 2: she purchases a replacement chihuahua, or actually like three four
Speaker 2: of them, a bunch of them. Right fast forward to
Speaker 2: last year, September nineteen, twenty twenty two, Paris Hilton posted
Speaker 2: that her new beloved chihuahua was missing, government name diamond
Speaker 2: Baby Missing. Paris Hilton posted his video to inform the
Speaker 2: world that her fur baby was out there, possibly taken,
Speaker 2: and she said, quote was at a loss for words,
Speaker 2: but somehow, the socialite, she managed to muddle through and
Speaker 2: type a very lengthy Instagram caption, and she struggled against
Speaker 2: her wordlessness and was victorious. And Paris found the stillables
Speaker 2: and she strung together. Oh well it doesn't I won't
Speaker 2: read it all to you anyway. But according to Paris Hilton,
Speaker 2: diamond Baby went missing on September fourteenth. And you see
Speaker 2: she was they were having a photo shoot, and she
Speaker 2: was also moving, and there were movers in her house.
Speaker 2: And according to the Daily Mail, Paris Hilton was quote
Speaker 2: away from her eight million pound Hollywood Hills home and
Speaker 2: a workman is believed to have left a side door
Speaker 2: open boom, just like Kaiser. SoSE her dog was gone
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 3: Or was he?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Perhaps he didn't just run out but instead he
Speaker 2: was dog napped. Elizabeth m Yeah, so what would any
Speaker 2: worried skin mommy do?
Speaker 3: Post on next door?
Speaker 2: Exactly? So you ever, she didn't do that, She posted everywhere.
Speaker 2: She just posted all over the internet. Right. So, Paris
Speaker 2: Hilton immediately commits to doing quote everything at her power
Speaker 2: to get Diamond Baby back. As Newsweek reported, in a
Speaker 2: lengthy and heart filled Monday Instagram post, the forty one
Speaker 2: year old explained, I just love that, and a lengthy post,
Speaker 2: the forty one year old.
Speaker 3: Explained, anyway, I'm too old for this, yes, exactly, but.
Speaker 2: Moving on, Paris Alden takes the Instagram to let her
Speaker 2: fans and friends know how quote incredibly hard it's been
Speaker 2: on her to live without Diamond Baby, and she said,
Speaker 2: quote I feel like part of me is missing and
Speaker 2: nothing is the same without here here. Diamond Baby is
Speaker 2: my everything, truly like a daughter to me. We were inseparable.
Speaker 2: She was my best friend, always by my side.
Speaker 3: Now that dog's doing a lot of emotional leaders.
Speaker 2: Totally, I feel so bad for Diamond Baby now. Paris
Speaker 2: also took the Instagram to write, and I quote, my
Speaker 2: family and friends have been helping me search high and
Speaker 2: low throughout my entire neighborhood and have gone door to door,
Speaker 2: but we still haven't found her.
Speaker 3: So I wish I live in that neighborhood and she
Speaker 3: knocks on my door and I go, kyote, got it.
Speaker 2: She takes her hunt and turns it over to professionals. Right, So,
Speaker 2: she'd been telling her her followers quote, I've been scared
Speaker 2: to put out an APB to the public for her
Speaker 2: because people can be cruel and I worry about her safety.
Speaker 2: But I'm desperate, and the more time that passes, the
Speaker 2: farther away I feel from the chances are of me
Speaker 2: getting her.
Speaker 3: Back, so you know, and I'm laughing at her, but also,
Speaker 3: my god, that's a horrible feeling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you feel for it, I know you do. You're
Speaker 2: a pet lover, right and whatever, damn the chances she
Speaker 2: wants her fur baby back. So she pleads, if you
Speaker 2: have any tips about Diamondbabies whereabout so you feel like
Speaker 2: you have seen her, please reach out to the email
Speaker 2: address find Diamondbaby at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm signing that up for everything.
Speaker 2: I just knew you were gonna write that one down anyway.
Speaker 2: So she concludes her lengthy Instagram post with a promise
Speaker 2: of reward. There will be a big reward for her
Speaker 2: return and no questions asked. Please please please email if
Speaker 2: you know anything, and please keep an eye out for
Speaker 2: my fur baby. I added the fur part anyway to
Speaker 2: let her friends and followers and fans and how serious
Speaker 2: she was all right and how much she was missing
Speaker 2: her four legged child. She also added we have hired
Speaker 2: a pet detective, a dog whisperer, a pet psychic, and
Speaker 2: are looking into dog finding drones.
Speaker 3: Now yes, yes.
Speaker 2: Can we just take a moment for dog finding drugs?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah?
Speaker 2: And also dog whisperer.
Speaker 3: I want to get a job as well. I want
Speaker 3: to get a job as a pet psychic.
Speaker 2: Pay well, I don't know. I assume so, because it's
Speaker 2: one of those things like it's so silly you figured
Speaker 2: they have to charge a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now it's say you a Paris Hilton money, Elizabeth, Huh,
Speaker 2: which one are you spending your money on to find
Speaker 2: your missing fur baby dog? Yeah? The drones, the detective,
Speaker 2: the psychic, the dog whisper.
Speaker 3: You got to take a step back. She lives what
Speaker 3: you said in the Hollywood Hills or something. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: mean if it did get out and go running. It's
Speaker 3: a predator, got it is?
Speaker 2: My guess it's a It's a pretty good guests.
Speaker 3: I think that if it's chipped and a neighbor found it,
Speaker 3: they take into a vet, get it chipped.
Speaker 2: I assume I think all dogs in these days.
Speaker 3: Are chipped, right, Yeah, pretty much? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, dogs like that?
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. And so then did a mover steal the dog?
Speaker 3: In which case, like, I don't know right now.
Speaker 2: So who are you going to spend your money on
Speaker 2: to get back your dog parasitt I.
Speaker 3: Think the detective. And I'm going to authorize maximum force.
Speaker 2: A lot armed pankertons on this one. So, despite her
Speaker 2: cadre of pet psychics, dog finding drones, dog whispers, and
Speaker 2: your pet detectives, time passes and still no diamond baby.
Speaker 2: So what does she do best? She throws more money
Speaker 2: at the problem. She redoubles her effort. On October thirty,
Speaker 2: reports back to her followers. I've spoken to seven credible
Speaker 2: pet mediums communicators that all say she is alive and
Speaker 2: that someone has her. And then she basically went on
Speaker 2: to say that she has hope.
Speaker 3: Right as long as she's alive, she'll the dog's supposed
Speaker 3: to be alive, though, she'll keep paying the mediums.
Speaker 2: Yes, but she's im.
Speaker 3: Say, oh yeah, that thing's alive exactly.
Speaker 2: You know, the mediums are only have one message. Just yes,
Speaker 2: it's I'm almost getting a message. I think I can.
Speaker 2: I can almost hear the dog barking. Give me a
Speaker 2: little more money, I can possibly strengthen the signal exactly. Anyway,
Speaker 2: So she's like, one thing I won't pay for. You
Speaker 2: know what that is a reward? Oh yeah, she'd offered
Speaker 2: a reward of ten thousand dollars and she was down
Speaker 2: to drop about ten grand a day on psychics and
Speaker 2: mediums and everything else. But she just says she would
Speaker 2: not offer more money why her security team. Paris Hilton
Speaker 2: claimed her security team told her, my dogs might have
Speaker 2: become targets for some sick creep that might try and
Speaker 2: kidnap them for reward. Sad to me that we even
Speaker 2: have to worry about something like that, But unfortunately there
Speaker 2: are some real messed up people in this world.
Speaker 3: Oh so she's thinking if she gives a high value,
Speaker 3: then the other dogs will get.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, her other dogs will get kidnapped, or that
Speaker 2: they'll hold the dog out for more. I don't know
Speaker 2: what it is that basically, she's worried that if you
Speaker 2: put a market price on it, the market will go.
Speaker 3: But if they kidnapped it for ransom, wouldn't they have
Speaker 3: left a ransom note?
Speaker 2: The good point? Right? And very so. The Daily Mail
Speaker 2: stayed on top of the story because they knew how
Speaker 2: run it updates, and so they said. Quote. Miss Hilton
Speaker 2: is said to have not given up hope for her baby,
Speaker 2: which lives in a two hundred and eighty pound doggy
Speaker 2: mansion and wears a thirty five thousand pound diamond encrusted collar,
Speaker 2: and as a family and friend and confided to the
Speaker 2: tabloid quote, She's heartbroken. We'll never give up on diamond Baby.
Speaker 3: Is diamond baby wearing the collar when it probably discappears?
Speaker 2: I'm assuming so interesting right now, Elizabeth prepared to be shocked.
Speaker 2: She gave up on diamond Baby. Oh durn it after
Speaker 2: eighteen days, Paris Hilton eighteen days. Yeah, she opted to
Speaker 2: end the biggest dog hunt in Hollywood history. That was
Speaker 2: in quotes in the Daily Mail. She'd been spending, as
Speaker 2: I told it, an average ten grand per day for
Speaker 2: eighteen days. We're up to one hundred and eighty grand
Speaker 2: at this point on finding the dog, right, she's at
Speaker 2: this point decides to listen to the voice of Elizabeth,
Speaker 2: or as I call it, the voice of nature, because
Speaker 2: nature was whispering to her. The diamond baby is like
Speaker 2: likely at this moment being turned into a coyote.
Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, the dog was probably got picked up by hungry
Speaker 2: coyote and is now a coyote fuel, if one might
Speaker 2: say politely. Now, the experts came to this conclusion, and
Speaker 2: they told her this because they had lived in Socoo
Speaker 2: for a while and they knew this is what happens
Speaker 2: down there exactly. Do you remember that one dad who
Speaker 2: tweeted about how he was going out and getting a
Speaker 2: shelter cats for his girl, and then the shelter cats
Speaker 2: will get out of the house and get taken them
Speaker 2: by coyote and he needs to go get another shelter
Speaker 2: cat and look just like it. And someone was like, bro,
Speaker 2: you're just feeding shelter cats to.
Speaker 3: Coyotes exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: So everybody in so Cow knows this is how gosh
Speaker 2: right now. The second reason that the experts came to
Speaker 2: this conclusion is most importantly, as you called no ransom calls.
Speaker 2: Ransom people were like, we got to get the money somehow,
Speaker 2: all right, so that parents insider, they told the Daily
Speaker 2: Mail quote, it's not looking good. It's been a massive
Speaker 2: hunt with global publicity, but we've not had a single sighting.
Speaker 2: Usually the case like this, there are multiple sightings of
Speaker 2: a dog is roaming loose. If Diamond Baby had been dognapped,
Speaker 2: we would have expected a rant, some demand by now,
Speaker 2: but there have been no calls.
Speaker 3: It was a hawk.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Two months later, just in time for holiday season photos,
Speaker 2: Paris Hilton unveiled her latest love of her life. She
Speaker 2: replaced her dog with a cat, a bendal cat named Keutzi,
Speaker 2: government named Keutesi Hilton. And uh so look there you go.
Speaker 2: A happy ending, there it is. Let's take a little
Speaker 2: short break and we'll be back with more pet nabbing
Speaker 2: and also the stories of dedicated pet detectives. Yes, okay, Elizabeth,
Speaker 2: we're back.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: Now, if you want to revisit the question you got,
Speaker 2: uh you know, Paris Hilton, money you spend it on
Speaker 2: the pet psychic, pet whisper, owner, operator, dog finding drones,
Speaker 2: pet detective or the pound to get a new pet.
Speaker 3: Oh to get an new pet?
Speaker 2: Maybe I thought you may, Yeah, I thought you might
Speaker 2: rethink your answers on that if I gave you another option.
Speaker 2: So in my research for this story, I came across
Speaker 2: a bunch of bummer stories. But I don't want to
Speaker 2: give you a bunch of those. So I found some
Speaker 2: heartwarming stories and I found one that kind of splits
Speaker 2: the middle. And this one is, uh, it's ridiculous, okay,
Speaker 2: And it comes to us from our friends down in Australia.
Speaker 2: All right, there was a family in Queensland. Dog went missing.
Speaker 2: Dog was a Maltese cross and it had a great name.
Speaker 2: His nickname was Limey government name lime lip, lime Lip,
Speaker 2: lime lip, like green lip.
Speaker 3: Limelep Okay, Yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Love that name. I've never like lime lip, that's yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: So anyway, lome Lip belonged to the p Ku family
Speaker 2: and as I said, lime Lip went missing one day.
Speaker 2: So the p a Q family was distraught. They were
Speaker 2: racked with worry. Right, so what do they do. They
Speaker 2: they don't have Parasoltan Monday, they don't have her followers,
Speaker 2: So they post on Facebook and they ask for help.
Speaker 2: Ray of Sun breaks through the clouds and someone has
Speaker 2: found their dog, right, and they contact them. They say, hey,
Speaker 2: I picked them up off the street, sends a photo
Speaker 2: on Facebook to them. Dog in the photo is definitely Limelip. Okay,
Speaker 2: how do we know it's Limelip because it looked like
Speaker 2: Limelp and you knows it has all the same tattoos,
Speaker 2: same haircut. No, but it was a distinctive collar. They
Speaker 2: had a very distinctive collar. So they're like, boom, that's it.
Speaker 2: Family reaches out to the person. They're like, yeah, that's
Speaker 2: totally limey. When can we pick them up? And this
Speaker 2: is where the story goes sideways. Family calls and speaks
Speaker 2: with the person who they believed had the their dog,
Speaker 2: and the initial phone call went kind of well, and
Speaker 2: then the lady who had the dog said, this dog's
Speaker 2: really cute. It's gonna be really hard to give up,
Speaker 2: all right. No, yeah, big red flags so big you
Speaker 2: could see it from space. Right. Family finds more proof
Speaker 2: that Limelip is their dog. They send over registration papers.
Speaker 2: They're like, no, this is our dog, right. But the
Speaker 2: woman she's who decided the dog is you know, so
Speaker 2: cute that she's pretty much decided to keep it for herself.
Speaker 2: She writes back, I'm not sure it's your dog. Doesn't
Speaker 2: really look like eh no, claiming that the photos are
Speaker 2: not the photos. So what does the family do? They
Speaker 2: got terrible news. They're dealing with an actual, factual dog
Speaker 2: napper La Deville in real life. So the p Q family,
Speaker 2: they say, uh, Limelip, this is a member of our family.
Speaker 2: You know, like we would let someone just grab Grandma
Speaker 2: because she was cute. So we got to go back
Speaker 2: and get limelips. So what do they do? Well, they
Speaker 2: get the police involved. They turn this into an alleged theft.
Speaker 2: In the meantime, they hire a pet detective.
Speaker 3: This woman, No, you just go to her. They know
Speaker 3: where she lives. So I'm like, I go zero dark
Speaker 3: thirty on that kick in the front door, wave.
Speaker 2: In the four fourth.
Speaker 3: No, no, there's just that. Okay, they don't hit me
Speaker 3: no more. Don't know where she is, okay, Okay.
Speaker 2: So curly call veteran pet detective. She told the local
Speaker 2: press that she had leads on where the dog might be.
Speaker 2: Call reported police have all that information. The police have
Speaker 2: been in contact with the allegit perpetritis. So she starts
Speaker 2: putting on pressure on them, and uh she I like
Speaker 2: to imagine that she was like all business, like one
Speaker 2: of those cops on the old TV show Dragnet. Just
Speaker 2: the facts man. So for the Piacu family, their pet
Speaker 2: detective becomes a lifeline, right. The pet detective is a
Speaker 2: you know, we all know the Jim Carrey roll. This
Speaker 2: is like a real life pet detectives. There's not just
Speaker 2: some bumbling idiot coming in going it was you know,
Speaker 2: it was the kicker. It was like, this is like
Speaker 2: now a big business and this lady is like a
Speaker 2: hard bitten veteran and uh she manages to get the
Speaker 2: dog back for the people with the police.
Speaker 3: Help with the police, I would have taken him.
Speaker 2: She didn't yet. She didn't go out there and like
Speaker 2: kick in the door like you would and got grab it.
Speaker 2: She's like, hey, offices, it's roll out here and knock
Speaker 2: on the door and let's get out that lad.
Speaker 3: I guess because the police in Australia would actually do it.
Speaker 3: If I called the cops here on something like that, they.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't know, they wouldn't even answer.
Speaker 3: Here to as like a pet detective enforcer.
Speaker 2: That's a good call. Speaking of pet detective enforcers. Do
Speaker 2: you remember Lady Gaga's pet napping.
Speaker 3: Oh I do remember that, Okay.
Speaker 2: Her dog walker, dude's name was Ryan Fisher. He's out
Speaker 2: in LA. He's in some nice ass neighborhood walking her
Speaker 2: three French bulldogs names are Asia, Kogi and Gustav. Comes
Speaker 2: at you right, So the car pulls up. Two young
Speaker 2: men get out. They are brandishing weapons. One's got a
Speaker 2: forty cow handgun. That's a big boy gun. And with
Speaker 2: guns in hand, the dog man nappers demand that the
Speaker 2: dog walker hand over the stars for babies. Lady Gaga's
Speaker 2: dog walker, he bravely resisted. Yeah, he stood up to them.
Speaker 2: He's like forty cow be damn son because according to
Speaker 2: the dog walker's coat of honor, I'm muchre if you
Speaker 2: know this, Elizabeth, they are obliged to give their lives
Speaker 2: for the dogs they walk. Yeah, no, that's not true.
Speaker 2: This dude, Fisher, he's down, he doesn't care. He steps up,
Speaker 2: gun in hand, I don't care, and he's like, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna fight for the dogs. And so what did the
Speaker 2: gunmen do? They shoot him? Yeah, so Tubes like surprised
Speaker 2: getting shot. I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. But he's like
Speaker 2: sitting there like, I'm a dog walker. What the hell?
Speaker 2: I thought that was, Like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 2: So he goes down to the ground. They grabbed the
Speaker 2: bull to two of the three French bulldogs, right.
Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't know. They only got two out of three.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they only got two out of three. Imagine one of.
Speaker 3: The driver's guilt of the third or asia.
Speaker 2: So the the the dog, not the continent. So these
Speaker 2: dogs are worth a pretty penny on the open market.
Speaker 2: I found out. I didn't realize. I'm like, who, Like,
Speaker 2: who's buying because it's Lady God gots dogs. Turns out
Speaker 2: doesn't even matter if it's lady.
Speaker 3: Yes happens.
Speaker 2: I yeah, but I didn't realize the amount they were
Speaker 2: going for. I was like, man, I'm gonna get into
Speaker 2: dog napping. I' kidding. I'm not gonna get dog napping anyway.
Speaker 2: So Lady God gots dog walker. He gets shot midday,
Speaker 2: he goes down on the street. He's bleeding now, not
Speaker 2: not really, but he's so. I know you worried about
Speaker 2: these things, so I'll just tell you right now. He's fine.
Speaker 2: He ends up being fine. He didn't even lose any
Speaker 2: body parts right. So meanwhile, the dog walkers sorry dog nappers, rather,
Speaker 2: they drive off with two of the three French bulldogs. Right. So,
Speaker 2: as Fisher is there lying Asia, the other dog comes back.
Speaker 2: And I will quote from his his Instagram post. Because everybody's.
Speaker 3: We don't have real news anymore, that's where the news
Speaker 3: is made.
Speaker 2: So, as I quote, four days ago, while a car
Speaker 2: sped away and blood poured from my gunshot wound, an
Speaker 2: Angel trotted over and laid next to me. My panic
Speaker 2: screams calmed as I looked at her, even though it
Speaker 2: registered the blood pooling around her tiny body was my own.
Speaker 2: I cradled Asia as best I could, thanked her for
Speaker 2: all the incredible adventures we've been on together, apologized that
Speaker 2: I couldn't defend her brothers, and then resolved that I
Speaker 2: would still try to save them and myself. You love that.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: So that's what I said, Angel, that's true.
Speaker 3: I mean that happens where dogs can protect people in
Speaker 3: those in those situations.
Speaker 2: Apparently. Yeah. So, as the dog walker lay in his
Speaker 2: hospital bed recovering, Lady Gaga took to the Instagram airwaves
Speaker 2: and said, I'm offering a reward for my stolen dogs,
Speaker 2: and she said, quote, my beloved dogs, Cogie and Gustav
Speaker 2: were taken in Hollywood two nights ago. My heart is
Speaker 2: sick and I'm praying my family will behold again. With
Speaker 2: an active kindness, I will pay five hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 2: for their safe return. Chazam email Cogiangustav at gmail dot
Speaker 2: com to contact us, or if you bought or found
Speaker 2: them unknowingly, the reward is the same. I continue to
Speaker 2: love you, Ryan Fisher. You risk your life to fight
Speaker 2: for our family. You're forever a hero.
Speaker 3: I love this, I love it. I love her, and
Speaker 3: I also have a new email address.
Speaker 2: I'm just giving you all sorts of gifts today. Right. So,
Speaker 2: within days, an anonymous woman walked into the LAPD on
Speaker 2: a Friday night and he says, here's lady got us dogs?
Speaker 2: She gets her dogs back?
Speaker 3: Yeah nice.
Speaker 2: Now, As for the purpse, there was a five person
Speaker 2: crew of dogs snatching teens. They were all caught and arrested.
Speaker 2: One of the dog knappers was a nineteen year old
Speaker 2: named James Jackson. Old Jimmy was arrested and then quickly
Speaker 2: released by police by mistake. After that, the US Marshalls
Speaker 2: had to offer a reward. They went out and there like,
Speaker 2: we will give one tenth of what Lady Gaga had
Speaker 2: offered one hundred.
Speaker 3: He stole, you know, twenty thousand dollars worth of goods.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally no, So the US Marshal's ponied up five
Speaker 2: grand for information on those twenty grand and goods. It worked.
Speaker 2: Though Jackson was later apprehended, he faced justice for the
Speaker 2: dog snatching crimes. Lady Gaga, as they said, got her
Speaker 2: fur baby's back, returned safely to her unharmed the dog walker.
Speaker 2: Nothing bad happened to them, you know. And they also
Speaker 2: wrote on Instagram how they were really looking forward to
Speaker 2: seeing the dogs again and them excitedly peeing on them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, that's all you want there, you go,
Speaker 3: the dog.
Speaker 2: Pee, excited dog pee makes you know the world's right.
Speaker 2: So Lady Gaga surprisingly did not hire a pet detective. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if I had Lady gagat money, I've been on one
Speaker 2: eight hundred pet detective that night.
Speaker 3: Lady Gaga has special powers. She didn't need it.
Speaker 2: No. Also, she knows Tony Bennedetti. She's like, hey, Tony,
Speaker 2: what can we get on well?
Speaker 3: And she also she knows Beyonce.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and for those who do know, Tony Benadetti is
Speaker 2: Tony Bennett's right, you know, hey, and between Tony Benadetti
Speaker 2: and Beyonce, you pretty much got everything covered, yes, between
Speaker 2: God and the double lock. Now we've talked about pet detectives,
Speaker 2: but pet psychics. What are your thoughts in them?
Speaker 3: Are you talking about people who are psychics who talk
Speaker 3: to pets or pets who are psychics?
Speaker 2: Oh? I like the latter, of course, you would think
Speaker 2: of that. There's the dog is psychic and I listened
Speaker 2: to the dog.
Speaker 3: I mean they're like the there was a dog recently,
Speaker 3: a Corgi Apparently that was like predicting. That was more
Speaker 3: through chance, like the basketball.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they always have, Like there's octopus who predicts
Speaker 2: the world. Yeah, there's a lot of animals who know
Speaker 2: sports apparently or you know. But uh yeah, as far
Speaker 2: as pet psychics, would you believe someone who said I
Speaker 2: can talk to your dog and even though I can't
Speaker 2: see them and I've never met them, No, I don't
Speaker 2: believe in that. Now, pet detectives, unlike pet psychics, surprisingly effective.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like I was reading about my girl Barbara Frye ninety
Speaker 2: percent successful, really ninety percent?
Speaker 3: That's clear in cases.
Speaker 2: Dude, I'm telling you she's like murder police, and that's
Speaker 2: why she has the nickname bring them back Babs? What
Speaker 2: a kid? You not bring them back back? Bring the
Speaker 2: veteran pet detective?
Speaker 3: Is that like her license plate frame?
Speaker 2: Has it all? Oh my god, it'd be amazing. I
Speaker 2: hope it is, Babs. If you're listening, we got ideas
Speaker 2: under one. She's available twenty four seventh, three sixty five.
Speaker 2: She takes about sixty twelve calls a week asking for
Speaker 2: her to find missing pets. And she's never charged anyone
Speaker 2: to find a missing pet, and she says she never will.
Speaker 3: How does she she have trust fund? Kid? Does this work? Oh?
Speaker 2: Well, do you want to know?
Speaker 3: How does she live?
Speaker 2: She's a realtor in San Diego.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so this is a sidekick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's a sideway. When you're a real er
Speaker 2: in San Diego, you're basically working on like Thursdays and
Speaker 2: Saturdays and Sundays. I mean, and then you go into
Speaker 2: Monday to see what houses are being listening. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean that's a healthy real estate market. Yeah, you sell
Speaker 2: a couple of houses, you got months out of time. True,
Speaker 2: that's very true, So bring them back back.
Speaker 3: So she's a pro bono.
Speaker 2: She does that so she can pay for her pet
Speaker 2: detective years here like the tireless pet detective located as
Speaker 2: I said, San Diego. She works coast to coast, so
Speaker 2: you know she'll travel and she works a case for
Speaker 2: not the days, weeks if she have to. She slept
Speaker 2: in her car for days while she's on the hunt
Speaker 2: for a missing animal. She's a girl telling bring him back, Babs.
Speaker 2: She discovered she had a gift winter her own pet
Speaker 2: went missing. She had a dog named Prada, and uh Prada.
Speaker 2: She'd only had it for twelve hours, right, and then
Speaker 2: he ran away from home. She freaks out.
Speaker 3: She's distra I don't want to be named.
Speaker 2: He's like the kind of BS house am I in.
Speaker 2: So she contacts her friend, and a friend's like, okay,
Speaker 2: I've got some advice for you and tells her how
Speaker 2: to find the missing dog. A week passes no luck,
Speaker 2: but then she starts listening to what her friend is
Speaker 2: saying and using the techniques, and boom, she finds her
Speaker 2: missing dog. It's a miracle to her. She's like, what,
Speaker 2: I'm pretty good at this, I'm gonna call this a calling.
Speaker 2: And so she decides, I'm now a pet detective. You know,
Speaker 2: fast forward a few years, she becomes a veteran. Now
Speaker 2: she's got all sorts of veteran tricks, and she will
Speaker 2: tell you, you know, the best way to find a
Speaker 2: dog Elizabeth chicken. Oh well yeah, also dirty bed sheets.
Speaker 3: Oh like with the owners smell on them.
Speaker 2: Yeah. She she prefers rotistrie chicken and old socks.
Speaker 3: That's like, is she a golden retriever?
Speaker 2: So apparently the rotistic chicken is a scent that most
Speaker 2: dogs just cannot they go nuts. So better than fried chicken,
Speaker 2: better than roast chicken, rotistrie chicken because of the Yeah,
Speaker 2: there you go. So she also likes pet owners soiled
Speaker 2: socks for a lot of the same reasons. To jubble,
Speaker 2: dirty underwear, used sheets, anything with some good strong aroma. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's what she says. So bring it back. Bab says,
Speaker 2: you have to think like a dog and understand their behavior.
Speaker 2: When dogs leave home, they operate on instinct. Often they
Speaker 2: are afraid. The goal is to lure them back to you.
Speaker 2: Thus the chicken now the best A veteran detective She
Speaker 2: also has advice it's sometimes hard to hear. No, like one,
Speaker 2: when your pet go's missing, don't go looking for it.
Speaker 3: That's yeah, you don't want I don't know what you'll find.
Speaker 2: Well, not just that, no, but that's a really good
Speaker 2: point here in California definitely. But uh, for in places
Speaker 2: they don't have such a hungry coyote population.
Speaker 3: More speeding cars, the cars exactly.
Speaker 2: That's in the South for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now, the reason she says is not to look for
Speaker 2: the animal immediately is because, you know, also, it's not
Speaker 2: like she's like, hey, play hard to get with your pooch. Now,
Speaker 2: she's not saying like nag your pet. But the idea
Speaker 2: is that, you know, not also like make your dog
Speaker 2: feel like you're it's missing you. And it's none of that.
Speaker 2: It's you don't want to spread your scent all over.
Speaker 2: It confuses the animals.
Speaker 3: And I think most animals have the instinct to go home,
Speaker 3: Like they may decide to go out Gallivanton and then
Speaker 3: they realize I got a little far, and then they're
Speaker 3: going to try and make their way home, hopefully first instinct.
Speaker 2: That's what she says. Basically, stay put, leave the lights on,
Speaker 2: your house open the doors. Also, don't go calling your
Speaker 2: dog oh really, Yeah, she says, don't go screaming because
Speaker 2: your voice probably will be emotional, and the dog will
Speaker 2: panic thinking that something's wrong with you. And then sometimes
Speaker 2: then they can run into traffic trying to get to you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then so they you know, so bring a back Babs.
Speaker 2: Put it quote and it's it's in the bush going,
Speaker 2: oh my god, mom's here too. I better stay right
Speaker 2: here because I have no idea what's out there. But
Speaker 2: then she gets scared. I better be really frightened, right,
Speaker 2: So then the dog panics because you're a panic right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now, just like with the missing persons, bring them back, Babs.
Speaker 2: She recommends creating a network used posters social media spread
Speaker 2: the word. She also has her bring them Back Babs
Speaker 2: Missing Dog Top ten.
Speaker 3: Does she say that the first forty eight hours are essential.
Speaker 2: When you're looking for a petty cut it in half, Elizabeth. No,
Speaker 2: she says, basically as they said, one, leave your door
Speaker 2: open off and the dog is smart and returns home
Speaker 2: only to find the door locked.
Speaker 3: Number two.
Speaker 2: Back to the chicken, old socks and bed sheets us
Speaker 2: smell to lure the animal home.
Speaker 3: You just set it out in the front yard or something.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, pretty much. Any Also, you can put it
Speaker 2: in a humane trap if you can create some kind
Speaker 2: of trap that the dog uses, like a crate, maybe
Speaker 2: with like a kickover stick or something, you know, like
Speaker 2: they're crate, not like you know. But anyway, don't walk
Speaker 2: around looking for your dog, I said, don't even drive around.
Speaker 2: She says, they can spread your scent be confusing. Don't
Speaker 2: call for your dog. Don't offer a reward the Paris
Speaker 2: Hilton model, because she says it rewards and incentivizes it's
Speaker 2: pet theft. So if maybe not for you, but for
Speaker 2: down the road. Also, don't try to catch a dog
Speaker 2: if you're the one who sees it and it's not
Speaker 2: your dog, reads Stad reported missing. This is because you
Speaker 2: may scare the dog once again, carried into traffic or
Speaker 2: so forth. According to bring them back, Babs, and I
Speaker 2: quote reporting is crucial because those are the leads that
Speaker 2: get people back to their dogs, or people like me,
Speaker 2: the leads that I need to help an honor do
Speaker 2: the right things. Yeah, and of course she would say
Speaker 2: that's like Elon Musk going. You need to work, not
Speaker 2: work from home. I sell cars. You need to not
Speaker 2: work from home anyway. But I'm just saying she's incentivized.
Speaker 2: But I still say, Elizabeth, you ever want a second career,
Speaker 2: bring them back. Babs is pretty much living your best life.
Speaker 2: It sounds like because I thought you would. You should
Speaker 2: know not only she's selling real estate in San Diego
Speaker 2: and out dog detecting, but she has a ten acre
Speaker 2: ranch where she and her husband keep eight goats, ten horses,
Speaker 2: a slew of rescue cats and dogs, and she runs
Speaker 2: a licensed rescue CA.
Speaker 3: Oh that sounds amazing.
Speaker 2: Special investigator Dot in your Future is calling it sounds amazing.
Speaker 3: But I'll tell you, I think I'm a little too
Speaker 3: fragile to do the like pet detecting.
Speaker 2: You think I would be.
Speaker 3: Upset if something happened to the dog, I don't want to.
Speaker 2: I think your gallows humer would carry you through. No.
Speaker 2: I mean, for real, I think you could manage. I
Speaker 2: think it would be hard on you, But I think
Speaker 2: the rewards of finding the pet balance out all of
Speaker 2: the times you did not true. Okay, let's take a
Speaker 2: little break and uh we will come back and I
Speaker 2: will have some more stories of pet detective Rey. I
Speaker 2: can't wait, and Rebecca Elizabeth. All right, hey, so hey chief,
Speaker 2: you're ready for some more blessed family reunions. You know,
Speaker 2: I've got a couple more pet detective cases for you.
Speaker 2: So start off, let's go. Let's go right back to
Speaker 2: bring them back Babs. Yeah, okay, because when she's on
Speaker 2: the case, I'm happy to tell you she's gonna get
Speaker 2: joyous family reunions. Hooray. Okay, So let's take the case
Speaker 2: of the missing doctor.
Speaker 3: The case of the Missing Doc.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a Sherlock Holmes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, hardy boys.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, them too. I preferre Nancy due the party
Speaker 2: boys kind of suss. Yeah, it's weird, straight edge. I
Speaker 2: was just like this.
Speaker 3: I never read it, but I liked miss Drew had
Speaker 3: some fired her.
Speaker 2: I liked her anyway. I like anyone who's like a
Speaker 2: little moxie. Anyway, I'm sidetracking. So the case of the
Speaker 2: Missing doctor. Yes, now keep in mind doctor was a dog,
Speaker 2: oh so, a mixed breed. He was the fur baby
Speaker 2: of Darlene and Paul Horn, the married couple. Where they
Speaker 2: were from Soko, and they had been packing for a
Speaker 2: trip to Alaska. They took their beloved dog to their
Speaker 2: pet sitter. Twenty minutes later, back home, they get a
Speaker 2: call dog is missing.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Forty five year old Darlene Horn told the Today Show quote,
Speaker 2: as a childish couple, we consider doctor pretty much our family.
Speaker 2: So she's distraught, right, they've lost their child. Yeah, So
Speaker 2: the couple they cancel their Alaska trip. They call veteran
Speaker 2: pet detective Bab, bring them back alive, Babe Fry. So
Speaker 2: she gets right to work. Over the phone, Bab tells
Speaker 2: the Horns, quote, you two need to split up. One go,
Speaker 2: uh wait at the pet sitters house in case Doctor
Speaker 2: double's back. The other should wait at your house with
Speaker 2: doors open, lights on. You know, it's our general technique. Right,
Speaker 2: they do is instructed, but nothing occurs. No doctor days
Speaker 2: pass the Horns. They grew more and more worried, so
Speaker 2: bring them back, Babs. He's on the case though, So
Speaker 2: the Horns. They also had some luck on their side,
Speaker 2: and they also had one particular host of ridiculous crime. Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: I'd like you to close your eyes, my eyes a
Speaker 2: clue and picture it. It's high nude and you are
Speaker 2: in a dry river bed in southern California. Forty minutes
Speaker 2: east of San Diego, what the locals might call an arroyo.
Speaker 2: The midday heat doesn't bother you since you are a butterfly.
Speaker 2: You are a dazzling monarch butterfly flitting your way across
Speaker 2: the Bear Republic turned US State, on your way south
Speaker 2: to a butterfly sanctuary at the Mexico border. At the moment, though,
Speaker 2: you watch two human beings just below you. They aren't
Speaker 2: aware of you. They are scrambling over the dirty rocks
Speaker 2: along the canyon riverbed. They look worried, and eagle screams
Speaker 2: in the distance, and then the humans do the same,
Speaker 2: only they kind of gently shout, doctor, Doctor. These words
Speaker 2: mean very little to you, you are a migratory butterfly,
Speaker 2: but the soft urgency of their words stay with you,
Speaker 2: so you flit about, hoping to see what the whole
Speaker 2: deal is. You're pretty sure they won't find this doctor
Speaker 2: in the desert, but who knows. The humans look to
Speaker 2: be a married couple. They soft shout again across this
Speaker 2: empty river canyon, doctor, door, and you see that the
Speaker 2: husband is holding a whole rotisserie chick. He waves his
Speaker 2: hands over the cooked bird, wafting the aroman to the air.
Speaker 2: The wife, she spreads out a blanket on the rock.
Speaker 2: She calmly sits down, just like how their pet detective
Speaker 2: bring him back, Babs suggested to them. Babs also recommended
Speaker 2: they bring a whole rotisserie chicken, so not for them
Speaker 2: to eat, but for the husband. So they did that
Speaker 2: as well, the husband dutifully waving and wafting. She is
Speaker 2: also trying not to scream their dog's name. But they
Speaker 2: they're worried, so they've been doing their best to kind
Speaker 2: of soft shout a few more times. Doctor, Doctor, you
Speaker 2: flit down in a light on a desert rose. You
Speaker 2: watch the married couple, now seated on the blanket. The
Speaker 2: husband is still wafting chicken aroma fast as he can
Speaker 2: into the blue of midday, while the wife scans the
Speaker 2: middle distance. She reaches down and brings up a bell.
Speaker 2: She rings the bell, hoping to catch the ear of
Speaker 2: the missing dog. You hear the husband say, honey, it's
Speaker 2: been eighty eight hours. I'm just so worried about doctor.
Speaker 2: The wife calmly replies, bring him back. Babs said, we
Speaker 2: can't panic.
Speaker 3: We have to be cool.
Speaker 2: We have the chicken. We're ringing the bell. Oh, look that.
Speaker 2: Look at that butterfly. Okay, okay, so just keep looking.
Speaker 2: You swell with pride at this pair of obvious appreciators
Speaker 2: of your striking orange color, the spread of your spots.
Speaker 2: You slowly open and spread your wings for them and
Speaker 2: everyone else to enjoy. And you spot movement in the brush.
Speaker 2: It's a very brush fraggled dog. A few pounds later,
Speaker 2: looking very thirsty, comes scrambling out of the dust to Royo.
Speaker 3: It's doctor.
Speaker 2: The wife and husband both shout in unison. You take
Speaker 2: to the air, joyous and happy for this family reunion.
Speaker 2: As you flip back into the blue yonder above. On
Speaker 2: your way to the butterfly sanctuary, you hear the wife
Speaker 2: on the phone with their pet detective. You can't hear
Speaker 2: bring them back Barb's side of the call, but you
Speaker 2: do hear the wife say no charge. Are you sure?
Speaker 2: There's a pause, and then she says, yes, of course,
Speaker 2: we will pay it forward. Thank you so much. You
Speaker 2: are the best pet detective in the world. And there
Speaker 2: you go, Elizabeth on to.
Speaker 3: Mexico, Beautiful. I'm glad I got to witness time.
Speaker 2: See I gave you another happy ending, he did.
Speaker 3: Now refresh my memory what kind of dog is? Doctor?
Speaker 2: I never said, oh, I wasn't paying to No, I
Speaker 2: just let you picture it. You can do any way
Speaker 2: you want. Funny, it's a very distinguished dog. He's been
Speaker 2: to med school.
Speaker 3: And uh, this is the problem. Like when people tell
Speaker 3: me they have a dog, I'm always like, what's the
Speaker 3: dog's name? Okay, what kind of dog is?
Speaker 2: More? You do walk away from people knowing more about
Speaker 2: their pets than that I do.
Speaker 3: Everyone should carry like baseball cards with their dogs, all
Speaker 3: the stats and everything. And oh here, let me give
Speaker 3: you my dog's card.
Speaker 2: Dog bats left, throws right.
Speaker 3: And then I have like a big, you know, binder
Speaker 3: at home. I flip through all the dogs you've met. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like that's when I met fifth one. I met guirrel
Speaker 3: that watch four days ago, nerd out on. Well, I
Speaker 3: have to like keep that inside and then sometimes it
Speaker 3: just eats out.
Speaker 2: Well. I got another table of Pet Detective re for you.
Speaker 3: Does it have a happy ending? Maybe I only do
Speaker 3: happy ending right now? Okay, this world is horrible. We
Speaker 3: can only do happy end.
Speaker 2: I came to you with this in mind. All right,
Speaker 2: So this next one comes was from Texas, but I
Speaker 2: warn you it's not a Texas story like you imagine. Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: a Russian Blue was missing. A Russian Blue is a cat?
Speaker 3: By the way, yeah cat.
Speaker 2: The Russian Blue have been missing for a week. On
Speaker 2: day five from the next door post and the Facebook
Speaker 2: post had led to nothing. The pet owners started researching
Speaker 2: pet detectives. They found Bonnie McCreery Hale of Grapevine, Texas.
Speaker 2: She is a licensed special investigator. Her specialty lost pets.
Speaker 2: She operates out of the Dallas Fort Worth metropolitan area.
Speaker 2: Now her work associates are all dogs. She especially trained
Speaker 2: search and rescue dogs. She works in Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas,
Speaker 2: all across Texas. The first thing that she asked when
Speaker 2: she gets a call is how long has your fur
Speaker 2: baby been missing? Once again, I added the fur part.
Speaker 3: Oh, I feel like, ma'am, I don't use that term.
Speaker 2: Doesn't regret.
Speaker 3: I regret coming up with skin mom.
Speaker 2: I know, and I love throwing about you. I know.
Speaker 3: It's like I created a monster.
Speaker 2: If the pet owner, when they call her, they say
Speaker 2: that the pet's been missing for more than two weeks,
Speaker 2: she won't take the case. That's the forty eight hours
Speaker 2: thing you're talking about. Yeah, there's a farther one out,
Speaker 2: which is like, look, we ain't looking yeah, especially like cats. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So when she got the call about the Russian Blue,
Speaker 2: they were still inside that two week window. Okay, So
Speaker 2: McCreery hale she gets to work and she did, and
Speaker 2: Elizabeth Dutton, she pulled up Google street View. Yes, she
Speaker 2: took out satellite tour of the area, investigated what the
Speaker 2: predator profile of the area was.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 2: While she's driving Dauston, she told the pet owner to
Speaker 2: have their neighbors take their dogs out and sniff around
Speaker 2: their sheds, around their houses. They did as instructed, No
Speaker 2: Russian Blue. Right. Then a text comes in, is this
Speaker 2: your cat? Boom? Another job well done? Scratch one up
Speaker 2: for the pet detectives. Yeah, McCreary hale had all the
Speaker 2: training she needed to be excellent because she had trained
Speaker 2: with someone named Cat Albrecht, who was a former cop
Speaker 2: who turned into the founder of Missing Animal Response Network
Speaker 2: and the National Center for Missing Pets. Albright has been
Speaker 2: training a generation of pet detectives. So Albrick relies on
Speaker 2: trained bloodhounds and like a classic detective like in like
Speaker 2: a deer stalker coat Sherlock Holmes had she's out there
Speaker 2: with the like the bloodhounds. That No, no, it's just
Speaker 2: how I imagine it's Sorry, I didn't falsely hypeio. But
Speaker 2: starting nineteen ninety seven, she's been working as a pet investigator,
Speaker 2: not a pet detective. She's out there like a PI.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So she she also, by the way, was a in
Speaker 2: law enforcement for years prior, and she brings her law
Speaker 2: enforcement background her dedicated to detective qualities, and she's, you know,
Speaker 2: a very good detective for police and turns to her
Speaker 2: police work for pets. Right, but she's also like the
Speaker 2: Batman of pet detectives. Because I know this sounds like,
Speaker 2: oh she operates at night and beats up like people
Speaker 2: in the shadows. No, No, what I mean is she
Speaker 2: brings like a Batman utility belt to her job. She's
Speaker 2: got like all this high tech gear, infrared cameras, listening devices,
Speaker 2: search cameras like I bet she's got some of them,
Speaker 2: dog finding drones like I bet. Oh, yeah, she's all
Speaker 2: about that, right. She's the person who everybody in the
Speaker 2: pet detective world they credit her with pioneering the use
Speaker 2: of quote search probability theory as well as quote deductive
Speaker 2: reasoning for missing cats and feline behavioral profiling. Feline behavioral
Speaker 2: profiling is a quote, a system of predicting patterns of
Speaker 2: feline behavior, similar to how the FBI profiles criminal behavior.
Speaker 3: So did they interview cats who've gone missing? Your cats?
Speaker 3: So tell me about your experience?
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me. Tell me about your mother and about
Speaker 2: your father. Okay, did do you ever torture pets when
Speaker 2: you were a kidd? To other cats? So basically, this
Speaker 2: Joe Mantania, FBI profiler for missing cats, she's the person
Speaker 2: who's credited also for creating quote cat detection dogs. I
Speaker 2: just love that as a term cat detection dogs. I
Speaker 2: think all dogs are cat detection dogs. But anyway, it's
Speaker 2: like a cadaver dog, but for living cats.
Speaker 3: Right, So cat detection dogs chicken roat hissory dogs exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: The cat detection dogs are the search dogs. But then
Speaker 2: there are also trailing dogs, and these are the ones
Speaker 2: who specialize in following missing dogs. So they they're more
Speaker 2: like the bloodhounds blood cat detectors, they're more like trailing dog.
Speaker 3: I think that's fascinating, all that search and rescue type.
Speaker 2: Oh, she once used DNA to solve one of her
Speaker 2: cases from just a single cat whisker. Yeah, totally. She's
Speaker 2: also identified a type of evidence that she has dubbed
Speaker 2: high probability evidence, and but she describes that as quote,
Speaker 2: cat fibers on objects that often indicate where a lost
Speaker 2: cat is likely to be found.
Speaker 3: When she goes it feels like Encyclopedia Brown, like she
Speaker 3: goes to someone's house and they have like white cat
Speaker 3: fur on their sweatshirt, and she's like, have you seen fluffy?
Speaker 2: No, No, I haven't.
Speaker 3: Do you own a cat? No doubt?
Speaker 2: Is that an angora sweater?
Speaker 3: Well you've got fur all over his sweater. Busted boom.
Speaker 2: Encyclopedia Brown solves another. Great, we'll be a great pet detective,
Speaker 2: by the way, Yeah totally. I learned a lot as
Speaker 2: a young detective and training Encyclopedia Brown on it. That
Speaker 2: was Okay, we're gonna be real about it. That was
Speaker 2: my favorite kid detective. I won't even lie anyway. So anyway,
Speaker 2: all right, right, she's trained to hold generation of pet detectives.
Speaker 2: And the thing that she brought to it is she
Speaker 2: recognizes that you were basically dealing with a unique crisis.
Speaker 2: This is a kin to a missing child for these people.
Speaker 2: So she's been very keen to make sure that all
Speaker 2: pet detectives they know that these skin mommies and flesh
Speaker 2: don't spiral out when their baby is missing. Yeah. Yeah, So,
Speaker 2: in case you're wondering, do pet detectives as specialties, Yes,
Speaker 2: and no, Elizabeth, some do, others don't. But there are
Speaker 2: ones who are better at, say, finding cats, or a
Speaker 2: better finding dogs. Right, and so McCreary hale better finding cats,
Speaker 2: they say, quote, we find so many more cats than
Speaker 2: we do dogs. The reason why quote McCree hale says,
Speaker 2: cats are ever so much easier to find and quite
Speaker 2: predictable in some of their behaviors. The main thing is
Speaker 2: they're there to find. Yeah, yeah, So, which is weird
Speaker 2: that cats don't get picked up by other animals as
Speaker 2: often as dogs do. Oh, I don't know, they say.
Speaker 2: That's from what she's described. I'm not the pet detective, Elizabeth.
Speaker 3: Cats are more inclined to slip out and hide.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what she said. Yes, she said that it's
Speaker 2: easier to find because of missing dog roams and cat's hide.
Speaker 2: You called it check under the porch. We'll look at
Speaker 2: you now. She also says the reason why she does
Speaker 2: it is the thing we were talking about earlier. I
Speaker 2: don't know anywhere else to get that, and what that
Speaker 2: is is the feeling of quote. I just can't find
Speaker 2: any one other place in this world to observe or
Speaker 2: to be a part of, or to help bring about
Speaker 2: that kind of joy. So when she is able to
Speaker 2: reunite a pet, the ninety makes up for the ten percent, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that makes sense.
Speaker 3: And then the other ten percent she shows up on
Speaker 3: their doorstep with like a telegram and a folded flag, wearing.
Speaker 2: A US Army costume costume, a uniform costume.
Speaker 3: Why are you dressed like that? Because we don't do.
Speaker 2: Stolen valor saw the party Rental had?
Speaker 3: Are you dressed like that? Ma'am?
Speaker 2: I have bad news. Now you may be wondering, Saren
Speaker 2: Are there any men who are pet detectives? We've only
Speaker 2: been talking about women.
Speaker 3: Any men?
Speaker 2: Are there any non binaries who are pet detectives? Because
Speaker 2: let's just say that women in non binaries are way
Speaker 2: better than men at this, because that's all I pretty
Speaker 2: much just able to find. Oh really, although I did
Speaker 2: find one dude, but he was like whatever. So we're
Speaker 2: not even going to discuss him. He wasn't very good
Speaker 2: at what He's not even fun is a Spentura. Right.
Speaker 2: So what I do want to talk to you, though,
Speaker 2: is about what we haven't discussed yet, which is someone
Speaker 2: who specializes in cats. Yeah right, because I don't want
Speaker 2: to think the cat owners to think that we're not
Speaker 2: concerned about their missing pets as well. So let's treat
Speaker 2: them all equally.
Speaker 3: Although I got to say, like, you know, I lurk
Speaker 3: on next door. Yeah, and it's like so full of
Speaker 3: missing pets, So I don't like to look actually that
Speaker 3: much anymore because it's upsetting to me. Yeah, I feel
Speaker 3: bad when people miss.
Speaker 2: The I understand that I didn't realize the numbers.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's crazy. And like there's a lady who's
Speaker 3: been like posting for weeks now about her dog that
Speaker 3: got out. She reposts every day. Anyway, I as much
Speaker 3: as I love animals and I'm tenderhearted, I do kind
Speaker 3: of like every time I see a missing cat, I
Speaker 3: just go rip and like go to the scenes.
Speaker 2: As I'm talking about, this is a gallows shammer. This
Speaker 2: is what I mean. I think you could detective Rip.
Speaker 3: If you're catting gone for like a week. I'm not
Speaker 3: around anyone.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you you could do fine on the cat
Speaker 2: crime scenes. All right, Well, last one I got for
Speaker 2: you is Kim Freeman, founder of Lost Cat Finder. She's
Speaker 2: known as quote, the world's first full time cat detective.
Speaker 2: No time I thought that she is a cat who
Speaker 2: is a detective.
Speaker 3: But whatever, this is not as exciting, but whatever, so
Speaker 3: help me.
Speaker 2: Exactly her tails swatting around behind her anyway, if you
Speaker 2: can believe it. Her partner, though, is a cat, and
Speaker 2: she her partner is a detective cat. So I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's the cat.
Speaker 3: And does her partner could like convey what his thoughts
Speaker 3: are with like a speak and spell?
Speaker 2: I don't know about that.
Speaker 3: How do they communicate?
Speaker 2: Well, I assume he's got some kind of like a
Speaker 2: body language like.
Speaker 3: That dog one up with ohstbox, Yeah, that would.
Speaker 2: Be dope, getting really close with that. They've they've gotten
Speaker 2: really far with the dolphins and also with dogs. I
Speaker 2: don't know where they are, but I keep hearing twenty
Speaker 2: twenty four. We'll have something. So anyway, So cat's name
Speaker 2: was Henry or is Henry. It's a tuxedo cat spoiler sorry,
Speaker 2: Tuxedo cat, And, as Kim Freeman put quote, most cats
Speaker 2: don't want to be found by a dog, even a
Speaker 2: search and rescue dog. She's a little about this right anyway.
Speaker 2: So but it makes sense based on everything I've learned
Speaker 2: from cartoons. So, yes, dogs don't like cats. Cats don't
Speaker 2: like dogs. True, that's what I learned.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I've always had you time.
Speaker 2: Me cartoons are wrong.
Speaker 3: No, but I've just I am an accept I've always
Speaker 3: had dogs and cats living in harmony. No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when they grow up together, I'm saying, but strangers
Speaker 2: to each other.
Speaker 3: Let me bring a new one in.
Speaker 2: No, but I'm saying, like on the street, like they
Speaker 2: don't know, y'all get along. In this house, we respect them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Yes, well, Kim Freeman the cat Petfinder. She's an Atlanta
Speaker 2: based pet sleuth and her pet detective partner who really
Speaker 2: is the cat detective, Henry. They've worked together now to
Speaker 2: locate numerous missing cats, and she claims that Henry is
Speaker 2: trained to follow the scent of cats who escape home.
Speaker 2: So she's got a cat who's following other cats.
Speaker 3: Sense a nosy cat.
Speaker 2: Yes, a nosy cat. I thought you'd like this. And
Speaker 2: also like, for instance, Henry has quote found a cat
Speaker 2: who jumped out of a car at a gas station. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like he's a baller detective. And if you're wondering how
Speaker 2: detective Henry operates, he's not some wild cannon turn in
Speaker 2: your badge and gun detective. No, Henry is like, you know,
Speaker 2: oh you shot the mayor's wife again? Not him, right?
Speaker 2: Not Henry?
Speaker 3: Is he a real cowboy?
Speaker 2: Know this guy? He is a leash trained cat. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: he's he's like a very gum in cats. He's following
Speaker 2: all the lanes and away. So he wears a camera
Speaker 2: so he can show Freeman what only a cat can
Speaker 2: see and where only a cat can go.
Speaker 3: He's got like the what do they call himen the
Speaker 3: cops wear it? What the camera?
Speaker 2: Oh the bodycam?
Speaker 3: Body cam?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, you know you did your handle. It was
Speaker 2: like a holster. I'm like, what like the body hey?
Speaker 2: I like to imagine Henry is like as a pet detective,
Speaker 2: Like he smokes too much. He's always complaining about his
Speaker 2: ex wife pay alimony. So she's like just tired of
Speaker 2: hearing it, having to always drive Lenny Prisco. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: I want him to be like a like yeah, early
Speaker 2: nineties law and order. That's what I want from him.
Speaker 2: That's what he is now, if you're wondering. Freeman also
Speaker 2: has her top ten cat detective commandments, but she's limited
Speaker 2: to three, so there you go.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: Number one, a litter box is not inviting so, as
Speaker 2: Freeman says, quote, this action will attract wildlife and predators,
Speaker 2: as well as territorial bully cats who may chase your
Speaker 2: cat farther away.
Speaker 3: See, I've always been told you supposed to put the
Speaker 3: litter box outside of so that's what she says.
Speaker 2: Don't do that. Wow. Number two, don't go chasing after
Speaker 2: your cat. Instead, bring the treats and shake them like
Speaker 2: a money maker. I added that last part. She said,
Speaker 2: if you call and shake the treats, your cat may
Speaker 2: move towards your voice, but not come out of hiding
Speaker 2: and may end up farther away from your home. So
Speaker 2: the treats can help. And three and again repeating number
Speaker 2: two for effect, do not chase your cat.
Speaker 3: So you're to chase it with an airhorn exactly, hold
Speaker 3: back and a water gun.
Speaker 2: And she's like quote you can't catch a cat. They
Speaker 2: are too fast, and even a three legged cat can
Speaker 2: outrun you.
Speaker 3: True.
Speaker 2: I love that even a three legged cat can out
Speaker 2: run you, ma'am. You don't even know me.
Speaker 3: It just gets up on its hind too.
Speaker 2: Where can I race this three legged cat to prove
Speaker 2: you are wrong, ma'am? Anyway, Freeman warns that chasing them
Speaker 2: will make them feel like prey and they will run
Speaker 2: farther and faster. Instead, sit down and open a cat
Speaker 2: of tuna. Just get comfortable, chill, hang out, I added
Speaker 2: to this last. Yeah, I just like the jubble's on
Speaker 2: you be it a familiar place like your door. She's
Speaker 2: got a real tone.
Speaker 3: To standing there for twenty four hours at your door.
Speaker 2: And she goes back to your point once again, dog's roam,
Speaker 2: cat's hide, so once again, don't look. And yeah, so
Speaker 2: it takes time and diligence, And I have said one
Speaker 2: other happy note. Freeman, unlike most of the criminals we cover,
Speaker 2: was able to get a book deal without going to prison. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: she wrote how to Find Your Lost Cat, Advice from
Speaker 2: a Cat Detective. I would only buy it if Henry
Speaker 2: wrote it.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's me, is signed.
Speaker 2: I'd like to write that book, but have none of
Speaker 2: it be good advice.
Speaker 3: I'd like to write that cats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all about whales.
Speaker 3: It's not even about finding an.
Speaker 2: It's about like financing Canada exactly like things like my
Speaker 2: things to be like talk wildly and loosely, like go out,
Speaker 2: talk game about your cat. See you come down.
Speaker 3: I dressed like a harlet exact.
Speaker 2: Puit your fast ass out there. No, but anyway, if
Speaker 2: you want to find a cat like me, that would work.
Speaker 2: That and maybe some Gwendolyn Brooks poetry. I don't know.
Speaker 2: But it's a brave, strange new world of pet detectives.
Speaker 2: And there you go. I hope you enjoyed your tour.
Speaker 2: I did a ridiculous takeaway.
Speaker 3: Keep track of your pets. Yeah you know, I mean,
Speaker 3: I understand it happens, but you know mine is fix
Speaker 3: your fence.
Speaker 2: Chicken makes things better and it'll bring your pets back.
Speaker 3: There's nothing like a good rotisserie chicken.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, thanks for listening. That's all I got for you.
Speaker 3: Okay, you can find us online.
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Speaker 2: Always the Birch by the way is only there from
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Speaker 2: That's Lady gagas Dogs. It's Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Once again, thanks for listening, y'all. Ridiculous Crime is hosted
Speaker 2: by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnette, produced and edited by
Speaker 2: our resident dog Whisperer to the Stars, Dave Kustin. Research
Speaker 2: is by Marisa I'm an Owl Detective Brown and Andrea
Speaker 2: I'm a Dolphin PI song sharpened here. Our theme song
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