Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions.
Speaker 2: I don't think you should say decision Decisions. It sounded
Speaker 2: like you was talking to Kurston.
Speaker 1: You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.
Speaker 1: You want to say together the Decisions Decisions.
Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Cizions Decisions.
Speaker 1: I'm your girl, Mandeb I'm weezy, y'all, we have a
Speaker 1: great episode for you today.
Speaker 2: Over the years, you heard us talk about and fuck
Speaker 2: up a lot of conversations about STD and we've fucking
Speaker 2: about Man, which we've had some confusion, but you know
Speaker 2: what we've learned. It's been almost a decade and we're
Speaker 2: still learning. So this episode, I'm actually excited to.
Speaker 1: Like get my myth busted.
Speaker 2: But y'all have heard us also talk about Gilliad. I've
Speaker 2: been doing the risky dinners with them for the last
Speaker 2: five or six years. Mandy and I came with Gilead
Speaker 2: to Essence and they actually introduced us to our guest today.
Speaker 2: Let me give you the real intros. Sister, I want
Speaker 2: to make it feel like you on a real daytime
Speaker 2: TV show, and you.
Speaker 3: Gotta look at us over looking at yourself on a
Speaker 3: We're right here.
Speaker 1: Damn you want to watch this on TV. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Doctor Danielle M.
Speaker 2: Campbell's an HIV prevention, treatment and care researcher and community
Speaker 2: organizer for the HIV AIDS and Sexual and Reproductive Health
Speaker 2: Rights Justice. But you know you you did a type
Speaker 2: on this maybe not anyway, you know a lot and
Speaker 2: we are so glad to have you. You do a lot
Speaker 2: of awareness policies and campaigns and so yeah, we would
Speaker 2: love to have conversations with you today just about the
Speaker 2: stigmas around HIV, the stigmas around std learning, how to
Speaker 2: get prevention, learning, how to get it and not be
Speaker 2: told no.
Speaker 1: As we heard Mandy her experience.
Speaker 3: Years that was yeah years ago. I'm now on on
Speaker 3: that thing. But just a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: If you guys tune into our win as they drops,
Speaker 3: you got decisions. When a sante came on with me
Speaker 3: shout out to a sante. We had a listener write
Speaker 3: in and say that she found the PREP medication in
Speaker 3: her boyfriend's medicine cabinet. And it was just really interesting
Speaker 3: the conversations that shout out to our patrons that dropped below.
Speaker 3: Because there was a conversation around it being that he
Speaker 3: dealt with men or was promiscuous, and so there was
Speaker 3: just I really loved the back and forth conversation around
Speaker 3: why someone may want to get on it. Y'all know me,
Speaker 3: I'm still waiting for my bisexual husband.
Speaker 1: So I'm fine with you know, air aboudy love and
Speaker 1: everybody watching, But him and his boyfriend aren't sure.
Speaker 3: No no no no no no no no, no girlfriend,
Speaker 3: And maybe they just suck a little dick together, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but for me being.
Speaker 3: Super in and like open to dating a person who's fluid,
Speaker 3: I think going to sex clubs. I think also being
Speaker 3: very aware of casual sex and how many people just
Speaker 3: out here don't want to use condoms. I'm very just
Speaker 3: aware of everything, and so prep has been something that
Speaker 3: I've talked about on this pod now for a few years.
Speaker 3: I'm so now I'm on it, and now I'm waiting
Speaker 3: for the goddamn two shots that I hear is out here.
Speaker 1: You have to keep us updated on your journey to
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 3: Yes, because and I actually and I'll talk to you
Speaker 3: off of here, and I wanted to share it. Guys,
Speaker 3: if you are listening to this episode. Go to the description.
Speaker 3: If you're in New York City. There are now two shots,
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna share the four locations that were given
Speaker 3: to me that are giving them out. So look in
Speaker 3: the description of this episode if you're curious about getting it,
Speaker 3: we're gonna put it there.
Speaker 2: And also even just beyond I feel like we all
Speaker 2: know condom, but even beyond that, I think that's why
Speaker 2: the prep conversation is so good, because absolutely one people
Speaker 2: forget condoms can break and at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: sometimes we're lit, they don't happen whatever they cases. If
Speaker 2: it's not one hundred percent, at least you've got this backup.
Speaker 2: And I love having the conversation about PREP because for
Speaker 2: years we've heard our male gay friends talk about it,
Speaker 2: and now we get to have the conversation for our
Speaker 2: number one demo black women and all our.
Speaker 1: Other sisters in there. Twenty seven caucations. Okay, oh lord,
Speaker 1: not the twenty seven Caucasians. We've been joking. We got
Speaker 1: twenty seven white listeners. Since you're one. That's about But
Speaker 1: it's way more than that now, I think, so, oh
Speaker 1: it's way more.
Speaker 2: So you know, it's thirty five, So all right, we
Speaker 2: don't do a little practice with the both of you.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So Mandy actually had just said to us on an episode.
Speaker 2: She was basically saying, this guy was like, all right,
Speaker 2: how many times until we fuck to not use a count?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I think we need to do a
Speaker 2: little role play on even before Nigga gets there.
Speaker 1: So here we go, both of you.
Speaker 2: Okay, scenarios on how to make asking for test results
Speaker 2: less awkward. So previous partner you've had in the past
Speaker 2: spins the block before in the past, you guys have
Speaker 2: shared results, he says, Baby, you just got tested. Though,
Speaker 2: you good? I ain't knowling nobody anyway, so I'm good too. Right,
Speaker 2: what is your response?
Speaker 1: Can I see your my chart? Can I see your
Speaker 1: my chart? Uh huh? Just immediately? Can I see your
Speaker 1: my chart? Now? Yeah? Okay, off teaser. We would have
Speaker 1: the conversation. You have to have a conversation, right. You
Speaker 1: have to feel empowered to ask folks about their sexual
Speaker 1: health history. It's important. It's an important component of empowerment,
Speaker 1: and it's just something that we should normalize as we
Speaker 1: talk about sex.
Speaker 2: I agree with the my chart, but I actually Amandya said.
Speaker 1: Was like a year ago.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, if you don't know what my chart is,
Speaker 2: like you ain't got the language. And I kind of
Speaker 2: agree because.
Speaker 1: I'm being a little empowered parent empower.
Speaker 2: I would say, everybody pretty much knows my chart.
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy? No, no, no lifestyle people.
Speaker 3: And I think for the people that are not a
Speaker 3: lot of my friends do not get tested. Okay, so
Speaker 3: a lot of a lot of men, a lot majority
Speaker 3: of our listeners.
Speaker 1: I would even say, don't know what my chart is.
Speaker 3: I the casual sex person, the person who's in relationships,
Speaker 3: the person who's not in the lifestyle, I don't think
Speaker 3: gets tested as often. I don't think they know what
Speaker 3: my chart is to just ask it like that. Like
Speaker 3: I shared last year, I was wanting to be a
Speaker 3: unicorn and I dated a couple and we all went
Speaker 3: out and they were like, well, recent test results are
Speaker 3: necessary before we play.
Speaker 1: Mind you.
Speaker 3: Also, when I did end up playing with them, condoms,
Speaker 3: were you still but before we all literally me, the guy,
Speaker 3: the woman, we all have to share our recent results.
Speaker 3: And when I told my friend friends that, oh, the
Speaker 3: conversations were like, what do you mean? So like y'all
Speaker 3: were vibing and y'all you didn't go back with them
Speaker 3: because they wanted your results.
Speaker 1: Do they think you're dirty?
Speaker 5: Do that?
Speaker 3: And that's always the conversation too. But when I was
Speaker 3: telling my friends, oh, we're gonna plan to play after
Speaker 3: we all get tested. When I tell you, those conversations
Speaker 3: were like what they like? I know as sex positive
Speaker 3: as I am as long as I've had this podcast.
Speaker 3: My closest friends, I can say my chart and they
Speaker 3: would say, what is that?
Speaker 1: Wow. So even aside from conversations around sexual health, your
Speaker 1: lab results, your plans of care, all of those things
Speaker 1: are part of your mind.
Speaker 5: Child.
Speaker 1: You know, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: They know whether they need ybroid removal, like a lot
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 3: Your check on their reproductive health. But I and I
Speaker 3: guess when they go and get checked for that. Sometimes
Speaker 3: they get checked for the other things as well.
Speaker 1: Times but some times.
Speaker 2: Year is probably the average of most women because if
Speaker 2: they're getting the results, when to get.
Speaker 1: Their path right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but.
Speaker 1: Recommendations around have changed, so it's not annual. But part
Speaker 1: of the conversation we should be having around sexual health
Speaker 1: reproductive health is just what we're saying normalizing.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter if you had only one one sexual
Speaker 3: part three months. Like I'm it's every every three months.
Speaker 1: And if I do a little too much, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: let me like hedonism what Okay?
Speaker 3: So I went and was like, let me make sure
Speaker 3: everything is is in the clear. But it's crazy because
Speaker 3: one of the questions asked, especially when you I go
Speaker 3: to plant parenthood, trump, you fucking orange cheeto bitch, you
Speaker 3: better stop fucking with the goddamn funding. Okay, goddamn it.
Speaker 3: I love planted parenthood ship. I think that's that where
Speaker 3: I got my abortion when I was sixteen. I don't know,
Speaker 3: but for for everything that I get done, one of
Speaker 3: the questions asked often is do you have any symptoms
Speaker 3: of any STDs?
Speaker 1: Like what is your reason for coming in?
Speaker 3: And it's crazy because having that conversation with the provider yesterday,
Speaker 3: I'm an open book, but I can understand how kind
Speaker 3: of like alarming A lot of the questions are they
Speaker 3: ask like men, women, how many partners? How how how
Speaker 3: like how often do you have sex? Like a lot
Speaker 3: of the questions, Even for me when I was putting,
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, bitch, I just want to hear it.
Speaker 3: Oh I did, But how many people could be like
Speaker 3: not want to share those questions. And so if and
Speaker 3: this is just me telling you, if you don't even
Speaker 3: have symptoms, if you know P is right, you ain't itching,
Speaker 3: you ain't scratching. Still go and get tested because there
Speaker 3: are a lot of us who can be asymptomatic where
Speaker 3: you don't know. And another thing too, because I always
Speaker 3: have to request it. When you go and get tested
Speaker 3: for the things you have to ask for. Trick trick
Speaker 3: is one of the tricky ones, y'all. Trick trick be
Speaker 3: out here, tricky you bitch's trick. Tricksis trick and monias y'all,
Speaker 3: there's both, right, are we just saying it wrong? It's
Speaker 3: trick trick trick what wait, let's get I just know
Speaker 3: trick bitch and it's trick with a C H. But
Speaker 3: the rest of the word trick of tillmania not sure
Speaker 3: be part right? Is that I would disorder that involves recurrent,
Speaker 3: irresistible or.
Speaker 1: Just to pull out by the air. That is something
Speaker 1: completely that is that is given kick.
Speaker 5: Of the week.
Speaker 1: What tricks, which we've been saying it wrong. See what
Speaker 1: I mean, y'all? They new t r I c A
Speaker 1: you got it.
Speaker 2: See that's why we got damn yell dan, y'all, we
Speaker 2: don't a moment to educate.
Speaker 1: I smooth ask you the.
Speaker 2: Trick test though, y'all let me tell you the HIV
Speaker 2: test too, but they ain't gonna test. Let's uh, let's
Speaker 2: take into it a little bit. Would you rather, Okay,
Speaker 2: let's go. Would you rather tell the public you're on
Speaker 2: ozembic or to tell the public you're on prep prep.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. It's easier to tell people await
Speaker 3: loss strung than prep. Especially why because like, first off,
Speaker 3: I say it all the time, we have men who
Speaker 3: aren't able to live in their best selves, and black
Speaker 3: women are a part of that because we don't provide
Speaker 3: a safe space for them to limit that contramatory I
Speaker 3: don't give off fuck they don't.
Speaker 2: And so are you saying all black women? Because you
Speaker 2: said no, no, no, no, I mean I would say majority
Speaker 2: definitely not black. I would say no, not all, but majority. Okay,
Speaker 2: But I know you talk about your friends all the
Speaker 2: time saying that, like, and this is a conversation too.
Speaker 2: When we were getting into it, I'm like, I feel
Speaker 2: like it's the majority. I feel like the majority aren't
Speaker 2: having the conversation. I feel like the majority are blaming
Speaker 2: gay men, and I know you haven't had many of
Speaker 2: those experiences because with your friends.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 2: No they are Oh no, I've said my friends are
Speaker 2: in the lifestyle and my friends.
Speaker 1: No, they're not. Like a lot of my friends are
Speaker 1: not a lot of my friends don't know what my
Speaker 1: chart is. I'm in the lifestyle.
Speaker 3: But when I talk about my friends, my circle of
Speaker 3: non lifestyle groups of people, No, I said, most of
Speaker 3: my friends don't know what my chart is.
Speaker 1: And judge me because.
Speaker 2: No, No, I was talking in regards to the conversation of like, uh,
Speaker 2: we're saying safe space.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've even had.
Speaker 2: This conversation like a year ago, were you're like, I'm
Speaker 2: not having this experience for me over the last few
Speaker 2: years of working with Risky and Gilead. In a room
Speaker 2: full of influencers, so if no one's heard me talk
Speaker 2: about this, it's a dinner where we invite a bunch
Speaker 2: of black women influencers to pretty much educate them and
Speaker 2: the public and their followers on HIV prevention for black women,
Speaker 2: specifically doing this in cities where the rates are high
Speaker 2: amongst black women.
Speaker 1: At your next one, I want you to ask people
Speaker 1: about my chart and bring it back. And that's over one.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever done right, but i'll you.
Speaker 3: Would, but you would rather tell people that you're on
Speaker 3: prep over saying you're on a weight loss drug. I
Speaker 3: just think we've normalized weight loss drugs now, and unfortunately,
Speaker 3: like we just talked, oh my chart, there's not a normalization.
Speaker 1: I think it's culture dependent.
Speaker 2: But so this is why I wanted to go to
Speaker 2: go to this dinner, Go for it. The reason I
Speaker 2: think that it's a lot easier for the weight loss
Speaker 2: drug is ninety percent of the time at these dinners,
Speaker 2: the conversation surrounding HIV prevention is geared towards women that
Speaker 2: are sexually promiscuous and or living in a city. Oh
Speaker 2: y'all should have seen the Atlanta dinner.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, I can imagine.
Speaker 2: It was like, well, these are just out here, line
Speaker 2: every single one, there's someone blaming the men they're sleeping with. Well,
Speaker 2: dub bitch, he ain't gotta be fucking another man. Have
Speaker 2: you fucking a man?
Speaker 1: Are you fucking a woman?
Speaker 2: And you end up getting it like are we just
Speaker 2: under the accusation that black women are only sleeping with
Speaker 2: men that have sex with men, which isn't true.
Speaker 1: HIV prevention starts with you.
Speaker 2: And also keeping it clear to anybody listening, we're encouraging
Speaker 2: you to get tested. This is how you know your status.
Speaker 2: It's not a death sentence. We have so much language
Speaker 2: around it today. Let's just figure out and know that way.
Speaker 2: You're not getting sick that way, it's not turning into
Speaker 2: something else. Like knowing your status is the most powerful thing.
Speaker 2: And we've all heard someone be like, I don't want
Speaker 2: to get tested yet.
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I want room all week. But
Speaker 1: there's the thing, though, we have to provide the framework
Speaker 1: for people to get to a place that they can
Speaker 1: get tested.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: You just describe challenges that you've had in the healthcare
Speaker 1: system around getting ted tested and access to prep. Imagine
Speaker 1: as an advocate who is out and about and in
Speaker 1: the streets and empowered in the street. You said you
Speaker 1: was in the streets.
Speaker 2: You just said, okay, she's in these streets. But the
Speaker 2: girl girl you on the boat, you were telling us like, y'all,
Speaker 2: I had other bitches suck the dick. I stopped sucking
Speaker 2: the dick. Oh wow, anyway to patriot hear the story.
Speaker 2: But yeah, is right.
Speaker 1: We shouldn't assume that people are empowered enough, are educated
Speaker 1: enough about these systems of care that can put them
Speaker 1: into place to be tested. So as we talk about testing,
Speaker 1: we have to talk about all the other systematic structures
Speaker 1: that are in place that prevent people from getting tested.
Speaker 3: But from a psychological standpoint, I will say, I now
Speaker 3: go get tested. Like when I first was getting tested
Speaker 3: with my little whole ass, I set nervous. I used
Speaker 3: to think about, Okay, which bitch, which nigga gave me something?
Speaker 1: One of these is gonna go. Don't care I'm nervous
Speaker 1: every time. No Oh, I was gonna say, I'm not nervous.
Speaker 1: I could have sex with nobody knew.
Speaker 2: And there's something about knowing you got that white. I know,
Speaker 2: once I put that little pea cup through that window,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, how long gonna be? Don't let me
Speaker 2: do it on a Friday and bitch, you don't get
Speaker 2: it back to me till Tuesday weekend. You should have
Speaker 2: seen me yesterday. I actually had fun doing my little swap.
Speaker 2: Y'all know where you used to have to get swabbed
Speaker 2: in your nose, bitch. I took that little cute tip
Speaker 2: of my pussy and I said, oh, let me, I
Speaker 2: was just twirling talked about so we're gonna talk about that.
Speaker 2: Apparently she telling me, bitch, you could still be dirty,
Speaker 2: so I said.
Speaker 1: The word dirty.
Speaker 3: No, well, sorry, we're not using the word dirty, bitch,
Speaker 3: you could still have something.
Speaker 1: Because they didn't do all the swaps. Was there should
Speaker 1: be three? Mind you?
Speaker 3: I have never been swabbed three times. So we had
Speaker 3: the conversation last night. Tell me the correct way, because
Speaker 3: apparently I got the wrong way. But what is the
Speaker 3: correct way or what we what should we advocate for
Speaker 3: when we go and get tested, because you let me
Speaker 3: know something new.
Speaker 1: Right, you're doing the things and putting things in places.
Speaker 1: There should be a swab for all of the place
Speaker 1: you put something.
Speaker 3: Now, I haven't put nothing but a butt plug in
Speaker 3: my ass, so I'm good for my ass.
Speaker 1: Right I had any sex? We haven't had a test run,
Speaker 1: so I can't confirm it.
Speaker 3: No, goddamn you just say no, I've never I've never
Speaker 3: tested my asshole, so I don't haven't either.
Speaker 1: I just found out there. Tell them put the swab
Speaker 1: in your brother?
Speaker 3: How the swaps. The swap should go. You said you
Speaker 3: throw in all of your holes.
Speaker 1: Essentially correct you everywhere something could go.
Speaker 2: I've never had a throw swap, only blood and urine
Speaker 2: and penises in your throat.
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm literally.
Speaker 2: Saying I've actually never been offered the throat swap.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's part of the issue that we're saying. When
Speaker 1: you talk about differential care, care should be universal. Sexual
Speaker 1: health care should be standard across the board wherever something
Speaker 1: goes a swapshift. That's great to know. Well, you ever
Speaker 1: had someone off.
Speaker 3: Well, I know that that's been the conversation recently, that stigma,
Speaker 3: well chlamydia has been being found in a lot of
Speaker 3: people's throats now. And maybe you going to the doctor
Speaker 3: thinking you got strip, strip ain't coming, COVID ain't coming.
Speaker 1: It might And I don't think you're right.
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of healthcare providers that don't
Speaker 3: even think to it's their own patriarchy, it's their own
Speaker 3: perceptions about what women do.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be about you. But if you suck an
Speaker 1: opinions that went in a.
Speaker 2: Butt, Okay, let's.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not trying. We don't we listen and we
Speaker 1: don't judge. All I'm saying is follow up the ass
Speaker 1: What what other?
Speaker 3: What other STDs can be found in the mouth? Like
Speaker 3: I said, I only know of chlamydia, But what are
Speaker 3: what else can what else could could live in your
Speaker 3: throat that maybe you would test positive for.
Speaker 1: I think so if you're not testing, or if you're
Speaker 1: not swabbing your oral cavities, right then there is the
Speaker 1: possibility of STI to live in those places, right. I
Speaker 1: think that's the message. Okay, so let's av rushing.
Speaker 2: Isn't enough brushing your teeth after enough?
Speaker 1: Or are we and brushing you used to just do
Speaker 1: a little throat valve, I mean a little mouth washing.
Speaker 3: It got it, by the way, I did look it
Speaker 3: up because yeah, y'all know I love my husband, shout
Speaker 3: out to chat. So in your throat gonner riia, chlamydia, syphilis,
Speaker 3: the main ones that you get tested for. Those are
Speaker 3: the main exact trick trick can no rarely trick actually
Speaker 3: rarely infects the throat and microplasma also very rare.
Speaker 2: And this is also about sex workers put condoms on
Speaker 2: penises during oral sex too. A lot of times I
Speaker 2: was reading that like it was up to comfort. But
Speaker 2: when documenting out a brothel, it was a moonlight. Maybe
Speaker 2: I'm getting that from Cathouse back in the day. But anyway, girl,
Speaker 2: one of the best television shows of all time, tell
Speaker 2: Me So covers a brothel. No it's not, and the
Speaker 2: owner died. He would have definitely been a trump Pizzo.
Speaker 2: But anyway, when covering this brothel, I only went two
Speaker 2: years ago.
Speaker 1: It was cat House.
Speaker 2: I covered this brothel on sex Cells and they basically
Speaker 2: talked about how no matter what condoms are used. Back
Speaker 2: in the day, they used to say, okay, oral sex,
Speaker 2: maybe without someone can pay a certain price, but always
Speaker 2: condoms during sex. But they're like no, because we're talking
Speaker 2: about open source here. Stuff that we can't see on
Speaker 2: the penis. They do what's called DC's dick checks. So
Speaker 2: basically before taking a client, they're like looking at the
Speaker 2: penis to ensure there's got nothing on it. But there's
Speaker 2: that's still not an We all got to do dick checks,
Speaker 2: bro we do need to do the DC's.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and I did. It was crazy.
Speaker 3: If you got to put it in your mouth, your
Speaker 3: eyes is right there you should be looking at.
Speaker 1: By the way, we know why we really need a
Speaker 1: look tell me.
Speaker 2: Because HPV it's really general warts, but for some reason
Speaker 2: it just at HS right. No, no, no, general warts
Speaker 2: is different h the mouth. So HPV turning into general
Speaker 2: general warts now because men can't get tested for HPV, right,
Speaker 2: so women can and the problem with that is that
Speaker 2: they really don't know their status.
Speaker 1: But they've been fucking all These women are all and
Speaker 1: we know. But there's the assumption if you clean, then
Speaker 1: I'm clean. And guess what. But that's the responsibility on the.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, so back to Theosimpic thing. Okay, this conversation, right,
Speaker 2: it's always get it's always turning into this thing. I'm
Speaker 2: telling you right now, if we hosted a general and
Speaker 2: keeping fitting weight loss that you know one would bat
Speaker 2: nine s cream about Olympic. It is something that we
Speaker 2: have all felt like is understandable. At some point. Everyone
Speaker 2: struggled with their weight. Your mama is somebody. We have
Speaker 2: the weight conversation throughout our life as women, hormones whatever.
Speaker 2: When it comes to sexual health, that's the one that
Speaker 2: we're quiet about. And I really do believe telling someone
Speaker 2: you're on Ozmpic versus telling them you're on prep would
Speaker 2: make them quote unquote judge you less.
Speaker 1: You get judged either way. Yeah, you needed the weight
Speaker 1: loss one though, like a lot of my homegirls, and
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm gonna speak generally, a lot of
Speaker 1: my homegirls would rather or would rather not take Ozmpic.
Speaker 1: I had a homegirl who did this leave. She was
Speaker 1: one hundred percent anti Ozmpic. Same for me. I struggled
Speaker 1: with weight loss and recently I was I've been on
Speaker 1: my all my shit, but it was weight loss associated
Speaker 1: with the dissertation. I'm not even gonna hold you, he said.
Speaker 1: Schools stressing me out. Oh my god, took me to
Speaker 1: with an inch of my life. But folks are just
Speaker 1: not pro let's do this Osembics thing, because when you
Speaker 1: look at all of the potential negative health outcomes that
Speaker 1: have not been studied in women, we know more about
Speaker 1: prep from the science than we do Olympic. And you
Speaker 1: see a lot of folks when this ship started really
Speaker 1: popping off with the Olympics, who were lying like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is me, this is the gym, and then thirty
Speaker 1: minutes later they're on the podcast or on a news
Speaker 1: segment talking about, well, it actually was the Olympic and
Speaker 1: the gems. Yeah, we saw Oprah go from weight Watchers.
Speaker 2: So so let's get into an essence article because it's
Speaker 2: cuffing season right now. It's getting a little chilly, it is,
Speaker 2: and it's time to cuddle. Mandy got pho niggas to cut away,
Speaker 2: But what do you get?
Speaker 1: No, I don't. It's all long distance. I ain't got
Speaker 1: not naw nigga in Atlanta that we are what now?
Speaker 2: I thought you say you was looking for a bisexual
Speaker 2: bay you know I am I, but I ain't found
Speaker 2: one in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: I like you, I'm very big.
Speaker 2: I would love I would love someone local, but right
Speaker 2: now everybody is scattered and we traveled to each other.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I'm gonna be cuddling with body. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be cuddling with my cat this fall, so breaking
Speaker 1: my punkin Spike.
Speaker 2: Here are the top ten cities for black singles to
Speaker 2: find love.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna go, We're gonna give you these cities
Speaker 1: and then we're.
Speaker 2: Gonna tell you what the HIV rates are actually the highest,
Speaker 2: which kind of crazy because they're almost.
Speaker 3: You're starting with the top ten cities that's best for
Speaker 3: single to black women.
Speaker 1: To find love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, black singles doesn't like black singles. So number
Speaker 2: ten bottom the list, Dallas, Texas. I believe that nine, Philly, eight, Delroy,
Speaker 2: Detroit got some. They be generous in Detroit.
Speaker 1: Dang, oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which we're gone the generous with the money.
Speaker 2: Okay, they about to pull out the first, y'all.
Speaker 1: Detroit got them one.
Speaker 2: And you know what else to Yeah, the house to
Speaker 2: they got the follow Detroit.
Speaker 1: Detroit got them one, all right.
Speaker 2: So in to number seven. I think you know why
Speaker 2: they say that. I think it's just so many people
Speaker 2: in Atlanta. But I hold you, I'm an interesting My
Speaker 2: homegirls found love in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: They found them in other cities. My homegirl she was driving.
Speaker 2: To get him man and Birmingham rod him out the
Speaker 2: back of Not only that, the thing about that is,
Speaker 2: if you find love in Atlanta, you're sharing it with somebody.
Speaker 2: There's too many beautiful somebody they don't know how to be.
Speaker 1: It's hard.
Speaker 2: You walk down the street, you go to a cafe,
Speaker 2: like you know, I love shits and gigs.
Speaker 1: But they were wrong in it in Atlanta, jig gigs.
Speaker 2: They said that the girls weren't in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna tell you this. You talk about people
Speaker 1: who don't even live here. I commented on it.
Speaker 2: There is a club culture of Atlanta. There is a
Speaker 2: subculture of Atlanta of the love and hip hop attitude
Speaker 2: with men and women. But you walk down the street
Speaker 2: in Atlanta, you're not gonna not see a bad bitch.
Speaker 2: Number six Baltimore. I actually really believe this one with
Speaker 2: baltimorean hy.
Speaker 1: Of Baltimore is tricky.
Speaker 2: DC is number five because like DC, they end up
Speaker 2: going to Baltimore to.
Speaker 1: Buy the house, okay, and they ready to wipe you up.
Speaker 1: Now the the holes go to Virginia, they go to Maryland.
Speaker 1: When you get up to Baltimore, Maryland, Baltimore, Maryland, Maryland, Maryland, Garland.
Speaker 1: The number four is Charlotte. What number three?
Speaker 3: Charlotte got some one? I'm all some niggas on Instagram
Speaker 3: from Charlotte. Well, they friends, and I'm like, which one
Speaker 3: they in.
Speaker 1: The little Charlotte. Number three is New York, which I do.
Speaker 1: I believe it.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hold you dating in New York. Now,
Speaker 2: it might get tough because there's a lot of volume
Speaker 2: like in Atlanta, but there's a lot of motherfuckers in
Speaker 2: New York. Bitch, go outside, you've had the summer. If
Speaker 2: you wasn't at a black party, what the fuck was
Speaker 2: you doing, probe, get your ass out of the house,
Speaker 2: wake up home.
Speaker 1: Number two Chicago and number one Yago got them ones
Speaker 1: to Houston, Texas.
Speaker 2: Now what's crazy about Houston, Texas is I remember going
Speaker 2: to Risky over there and they said that was some
Speaker 2: of the highest rates for black women with HIV. And
Speaker 2: like Florida didn't make the listen all for black.
Speaker 1: Singles for love, no big for black singles. We all
Speaker 1: been down at this survey. Where would you think black
Speaker 1: singles in Florida? I don't know made Miami? No, they
Speaker 1: all speak Spanish.
Speaker 2: Seven of these cities have the highest rates of HIV
Speaker 2: in the country. By the way, that's because the dick
Speaker 2: is good and you forget to put the condom on.
Speaker 2: So let me tell you the cities that don't. They're
Speaker 2: also Republican. They also don't have some second like let's
Speaker 2: say all of the things. But so Charlotte, Detroit, and
Speaker 2: Dallas are the only ones with the low rates from
Speaker 2: that list, which is crazy when you think about it,
Speaker 2: because it's like Texas to me, especially with like the
Speaker 2: reversal Roe v. Wade people just not wanting even to
Speaker 2: walk into a planned parenthood all of that shit. I
Speaker 2: know a lot of them aren't really getting tested to
Speaker 2: going down in Texas as well, so but Dallas maybe
Speaker 2: because more white people.
Speaker 1: I love Dallas really why?
Speaker 2: I just loved, I love, I love just the shout
Speaker 2: out to Dallas. I go every Thanksgiving, even though I
Speaker 2: might not go this year for Thanksgiving because she got
Speaker 2: a baby and might be at his house anyway, But
Speaker 2: just love Dallas. Out of these oh wait, shout out
Speaker 2: to uh, well, if you're from Dallas, right, we talked,
Speaker 2: We've talked about and he got a Cowboys shirt off.
Speaker 2: Where out of these cities have y'all had some luck
Speaker 2: in dating all of them?
Speaker 1: I had a nigga every last one of them cities.
Speaker 2: I think I've had everything that Detroit and Chicago detroittment
Speaker 2: is that billy y'all tell you this though away, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna you get you a little Root's picnic type
Speaker 2: of nigga that read out Auncle Bobby's baby in the
Speaker 2: feeling Wow, they have a I don't rapper, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I told you, I ain't doing the Muslims. Why not?
Speaker 1: What what happened? They types of Muslim in New York?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they like they're like the Malcolm Mexicans. Okay, they're
Speaker 2: like Malcolm was fine though, was very fine. But they're
Speaker 2: like the ones that converted through your day. You would
Speaker 2: put he drop off for Kevin Gates. Let us not forget.
Speaker 1: By the way, that was entertainment. But my problem is,
Speaker 1: and I think that's why somebody else now though, So
Speaker 1: I don't know if he hold on. Let me see
Speaker 1: can have That's the thing. Muscles can have multiple wives.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: If I started running broke, i'd have my ass out.
Speaker 2: Something gotta be balanced.
Speaker 1: You're your faces out, your hands will be out. Makeup,
Speaker 1: they make up down face. We had a tour Ones.
Speaker 1: We excuse me.
Speaker 2: We had a show on tour Ones where a Mustlim
Speaker 2: girl walked to the door. And I know, because you
Speaker 2: know you book a makeup, I don't really know what
Speaker 2: they look like. This bitch came to my hotel room.
Speaker 2: I said, I know this ship gonna be.
Speaker 1: Getting the lashes out because I'm not your god ship.
Speaker 1: He said, it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2: And by the way, I would love when you Love
Speaker 2: East baddies to come in here and we could do
Speaker 2: anonymous tell us how you be hose because my man
Speaker 2: was telling me when he was ramping in the streets,
Speaker 2: he was like, all them holes.
Speaker 1: In yah said, they was really even right.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I think it's like he's like, yeah, they are religious,
Speaker 2: but like hed be wont the fuck He's like, I'm
Speaker 2: never there first.
Speaker 1: He's like, they just be ready to go. He said,
Speaker 1: they all be every day people. I'm pointing out the bitches. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I know. Wolf. I was like, I was like from
Speaker 1: Dallas and the Cowboys. He has people, but he jibs.
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 2: Okay, now we're gonna get into Howard try. This is
Speaker 2: where you're gonna get a song lyric, Mandy, don't guess
Speaker 2: that you're gonna know from the first word. I say, Okay, Dan, Yelle,
Speaker 2: this is for you. This is almost too damn easy.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to pull like a verse from it that
Speaker 2: you may not get.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Slow head, show me so much love. The best head
Speaker 2: comes from a thug. The dick, good thick, big and long,
Speaker 2: slow thumping till the crack of dawn on the X.
Speaker 1: Making faces and stuff.
Speaker 2: The girl what through the night making so much love
Speaker 2: dead sleep when the sun comes up, you still ain't well.
Speaker 1: I bet you. I got it in my mind. Go
Speaker 1: go go so look it now, look it good? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just like keep going. I don't know the name of
Speaker 1: the song, but I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Yes you do, I don't right now, looking good in
Speaker 2: my mind. Lick this pussy just like you should. It
Speaker 2: was just a commercial now now we get my back
Speaker 2: was just commercial commercial.
Speaker 1: It was commercial walk before I walk? You know what?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 3: She said that song keep her pape. Yes, the way
Speaker 3: they sample and put that song every much. It was
Speaker 3: about a gym or something like wait what yeah, they
Speaker 3: you know how they put the commercials and they'll take
Speaker 3: the song and then they remixed it and there she
Speaker 3: was like all the women out there get ready to
Speaker 3: go to the gym.
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck? And then you hear
Speaker 1: the beat in the background. I just walked up like
Speaker 1: you live in l A. This was for something around
Speaker 1: the corner in New York. This is New York. My neck,
Speaker 1: my back for a gym is funny. I mean, I do.
Speaker 1: Let me get your bread.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about it. Let's do some myth busting. Tell
Speaker 2: us a little bit about some of the people you've
Speaker 2: interacted with and maybe some of the craziest misconceptions you've
Speaker 2: heard when they've come to you for HIV prevention and help,
Speaker 2: or maybe just being confused.
Speaker 1: Around their status.
Speaker 2: Like, I just kind of want to get into what
Speaker 2: you do and the people you've encountered with your work.
Speaker 1: I've done a little bit of everything. So I started
Speaker 1: out wanting to understand more about how HIV affected Black
Speaker 1: women specifically. I was in a class once in this
Speaker 1: instructor was talking about how Black women are disproportionately affected
Speaker 1: by HIV, and I'm like, why is this something that
Speaker 1: we do that makes us more prone to it? Is
Speaker 1: the biological? Is it genetic? What is it? And so girl,
Speaker 1: I started to unpack all of the things, both social
Speaker 1: structural policy related. So I started to volunteer on a
Speaker 1: mobile testing unit. So mobile testing units before they were
Speaker 1: not a thing where you would go to homeless encampments,
Speaker 1: college campuses, anywhere you could drive. We will pull up,
Speaker 1: pop the tent, be outside, and then people would just
Speaker 1: come up to us and ask us for an HIV test.
Speaker 1: I don't see them as often anymore. No, I think
Speaker 1: so some maybe funding it could be funding. I think
Speaker 1: part of its funding. Part of it is that people
Speaker 1: who are in positions of power believe that it's more
Speaker 1: practical for someone to walk into a clinic, then walk
Speaker 1: to a corner work and hop on them.
Speaker 2: In my early twenties, I was getting tested I say annually,
Speaker 2: like like that nineteen to twenty four age yep, I
Speaker 2: was getting tested whenever I went to a doctor, right,
Speaker 2: but HIV specific testing was always a bus, always, actually
Speaker 2: always a bus. Like it was almost like, oh, one
Speaker 2: will pop up a gospel. I don't know, like that
Speaker 2: was really just me.
Speaker 1: You know, in community, you can go on a van
Speaker 1: with people who are trained in sexual health, who can
Speaker 1: administer you a test, give you results in twenty or
Speaker 1: forty or one minute, and you were about, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna need that one minute. You don't have to go
Speaker 1: in and click in, check in with somebody at the
Speaker 1: front desk who got an attitude because they at work,
Speaker 1: or wait thirty seven million minutes to see a provider.
Speaker 1: Boom checkswibby, your mouth, poke your finger and you were out.
Speaker 1: The poking of the finger.
Speaker 3: I remember even getting it done as early as high
Speaker 3: school because I used to be able to get out
Speaker 3: of class for the blood drives, but in order to
Speaker 3: be a part of the blood drive they would It
Speaker 3: would be the same thing.
Speaker 1: School based health centers. You can go right to the
Speaker 1: back boo boo, and they can't tell you. You can't
Speaker 1: walk off campus to go to a school based health center.
Speaker 1: It's part of you can't they can't tell you.
Speaker 2: So one of my craziest tests I ever had was
Speaker 2: during the music festival. I don't know what the fuck
Speaker 2: I was thinking and shout out to VINNI. I always
Speaker 2: remember his reaction. I was twenty one, maybe got on
Speaker 2: this bus.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they was given out. They must
Speaker 1: have been given.
Speaker 2: Out something, because why else was I wearing a tu
Speaker 2: tuo and getting an HIV test?
Speaker 1: I was probably fut up. They might have tested me
Speaker 1: for drugs and HIV. But where were you want with
Speaker 1: the tutu?
Speaker 2: Though I was at a grade, I was at music festival, okay,
Speaker 2: So when he saw me getting on the bus that
Speaker 2: I came off, I was like, I have to wait
Speaker 2: twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: He goes, but what did you have it? Why would
Speaker 1: you do this to us for trying to have a
Speaker 1: good time. And I was like, ship, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: but he was right, now, okay, get your sexual help together.
Speaker 1: Oh think about it. You had a concert and he's like, bitch,
Speaker 1: now what if you got it d We paid four
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is in a room out
Speaker 2: Vinnie's our tour manager too. I'm telling you that. I
Speaker 2: stood there, we were waiting and the guy was like, sorry,
Speaker 2: it's taking too long. Now He's looking at me and
Speaker 2: he was like, but you really did this to us, y'all.
Speaker 2: We are sitting there with four other friends and the
Speaker 2: guy came off the bus. They shared our results of
Speaker 2: us on site.
Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, isn't that great where you can
Speaker 1: get your results? And then if you would have tested positive,
Speaker 1: you would have been pull me back on that bus.
Speaker 1: You would have been connected to care.
Speaker 2: Now tell me one of the craziest stories you've heard,
Speaker 2: one of even something that is a little bit darker,
Speaker 2: said whether be a married woman. It is something like that,
Speaker 2: like that you found out how the HIV and had to.
Speaker 1: Tell I was downtown skip Row in LA and I
Speaker 1: already noticed about to go. Oh yeah, so you see
Speaker 1: some of the most disparaging human conditions that you've ever seen.
Speaker 1: And we were downtown skid Row and there was this guy.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. It was the first positive, a preliminary
Speaker 1: positive result I've ever had to give. And you're in
Speaker 1: skid Row. It's a bunch of tents, people are parked
Speaker 1: at a park. They're just kind of vibing. So I
Speaker 1: found this guy. He came on we were doing like
Speaker 1: twenty dollars subway cards. He got his test, and you
Speaker 1: have to find the person and administer the test result.
Speaker 1: But you bring him back on the van and then
Speaker 1: you connect them to care as best you can. But
Speaker 1: before you go back and get that person, you have
Speaker 1: to have your things in a row. So if they
Speaker 1: test prelim positive, you want to be in a position
Speaker 1: where you're not fumbling looking for resources. You have your
Speaker 1: care plan lined up, so that person is immediately warmed off,
Speaker 1: warm handed off to an HIV care specialist so that
Speaker 1: they can take further test results and then get in care.
Speaker 1: So I found this man and he was like just
Speaker 1: standing on the street and a bunch of guys and
Speaker 1: it's already awkward. They know you work on the HIV bus.
Speaker 1: So you're going back down and interrupting this group of
Speaker 1: guys vibing, and you're like, gonna talk to you for
Speaker 1: a minute, and so everybody looking at him, and so
Speaker 1: it's awkward. So you're automatically putting him in a position
Speaker 1: to make people in his circle wonder that could be
Speaker 1: dangerous for someone who lives on the street.
Speaker 2: Oh, I say, I would never have thought of that.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, So you're interrupting this this social dynamic and
Speaker 1: asking him to come back to the test. Why people
Speaker 1: are gonna ask why. So if I felt that I
Speaker 1: had put him in harm's way by giving his result
Speaker 1: the way I gave it, he didn't wait at the
Speaker 1: mobile unit, so I have to go find him. He
Speaker 1: had already tested prelim positive. So my responsibility is to
Speaker 1: connect him to care immediately so that he can get
Speaker 1: on HIV manage, get his virus suppressed, and then get
Speaker 1: access to any other social services that he may have needed.
Speaker 2: So how do the meds work, because I want to
Speaker 2: talk about specifically PREP and the meds because.
Speaker 1: They work the same way interrupt the So for people
Speaker 1: who are living with HIV, it interrupts the ability of
Speaker 1: the HIV virus to replicate. You take it daily, right,
Speaker 1: it could be daily, or if you're taking a shot,
Speaker 1: it could be less frequent than daily. It can be monthly, quarterly,
Speaker 1: six months. The scientists moving at rapid pace.
Speaker 2: Because we just know Magic Johnson and everybody always used
Speaker 2: to say he must be rich, he must have the
Speaker 2: thing to.
Speaker 1: Make you get rid of it. He lived this on.
Speaker 1: Magic was just in DC the other day at the
Speaker 1: largest HIV conference domestically. He was on the stage saying
Speaker 1: that he takes it to HIV meds like everybody else
Speaker 1: who's diagnosed with HIV.
Speaker 2: And what exactly is we keep saying prep, prep, prep?
Speaker 1: What is it? Is it a shot? Is it pills?
Speaker 1: It's both, it's both, and depending on your sex assigned
Speaker 1: at birth, you have access to different options of prep. Hmmm.
Speaker 2: Now, the girlfriend's episode about being undetectable, Yeah, tell us
Speaker 2: a little bit about that. Can you, like bring back
Speaker 2: that episode the HIV conversation and it can we relive
Speaker 2: that moment with you?
Speaker 1: Tell us about it. So you're talking about where she
Speaker 1: was using a knife and then she bled and everybody
Speaker 1: was like and it's like I was sitting there like girl,
Speaker 1: and so I have nieces who are like my babies.
Speaker 1: I have to know me is to know how I
Speaker 1: am about my family. So we were watching this episode,
Speaker 1: so I oriented them to like ninety sitcoms, and so
Speaker 1: we would like Netflix and just kind of vibe out.
Speaker 1: So there was this one episode and they pulled that
Speaker 1: episode right, don't give a damn. You can find it anywhere?
Speaker 1: Did they really?
Speaker 2: A lot of it's so I know a lot offlix. Well,
Speaker 2: a lot of episodes from the nineties that had like
Speaker 2: problematic things because we now are in a very.
Speaker 1: You know, but they sensitive anything they can find it.
Speaker 3: But a lot of a lot of episodes around certain
Speaker 3: topics and just how it was handled.
Speaker 1: I want to say, I thought it was poor. We're
Speaker 1: gonna find that clip so y'all can see it today.
Speaker 1: Find it.
Speaker 2: So with that whole with the whole slicing thing, et cetera.
Speaker 2: How is how does transmission work outside of sex?
Speaker 1: So HIV transmission we talked about yesterday. Rites spread five
Speaker 1: different ways, two from him, two from her when you share,
Speaker 1: and so if there is a biological fluid that is
Speaker 1: being exchanged, then there's a possibility of HIV transmission. It
Speaker 1: could be a greater possibility or lesser possibility? So what
Speaker 1: are the two from him too? From her pre come
Speaker 1: pre come but them that's him. Blood is one you share? Okay,
Speaker 1: everybody's got blood, right, and then her vaginal secretions, breast milk,
Speaker 1: oh god, it got it? Everyone from him? Two from
Speaker 1: her one you share and so not from spit at all.
Speaker 1: We had this conversation, I know, but I don't.
Speaker 3: Find bringing it on here because I thought this spit
Speaker 3: at one point was so can I swallow semen and
Speaker 3: that person as HIV?
Speaker 1: I'm now at risk? Are are they undetectable risk for what? Okay?
Speaker 1: So you have to qualify not risk, but possibility. Risk
Speaker 1: is a very stigmatizing word. So what's the possibility of
Speaker 1: what getting getting HIV from swallowing? Yes, from swallowing semen? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you just looked up and it's you looked up,
Speaker 1: you googled, or you use your friend chat, and what
Speaker 1: did chat say about HIV or other sdis in the throat?
Speaker 1: It does say you can get HIV. There, it's a possibility. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you need to consult a medical provider. Okay.
Speaker 2: Now, what is the number one way men and women
Speaker 2: heterosexual couples are contracting HIV.
Speaker 1: Do sexual context penetrative sex unprotected and partners could potentially
Speaker 1: be unaware of one one's status and one person could
Speaker 1: be virally could not be virallly suppressed.
Speaker 2: Is that through cuts? It's not through a cut, you're
Speaker 2: saying it's secretion. I feel like we always thought it
Speaker 2: was a viral blood disease growing up. So it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: and that's why anal sex made so much sense. Oh,
Speaker 2: of course, because anal tearing. So men and women having
Speaker 2: vaginal penetrative sex.
Speaker 1: But you you missed one point though. Yeah, let's take
Speaker 1: us back to this. You equals you are undetectable, equals untransmittable.
Speaker 1: So if my virus is suppressed, I have virtually no
Speaker 1: possibility of transmitting HIV to someone else. Now, if it's not,
Speaker 1: then there is the possibility. Right, So if absent, this
Speaker 1: unsuppressed viral low anal tearing means what you address a
Speaker 1: different issue. It could be related to size, it could
Speaker 1: be related to technique, it could be related to activity.
Speaker 1: So it isn't anal sex that increases possibility for HIV possibility.
Speaker 1: It's the undiagnosed and untreated virally not suppressed HIV that
Speaker 1: could create the issue. It's not the sex itself at all.
Speaker 1: It could be through vaginal sex, it could be through
Speaker 1: anal sex, whatever type of sex you want to have.
Speaker 1: We want to encourage people to do all of the things,
Speaker 1: all including getting tested, taking PREP if you want to
Speaker 1: take it, but taking your med prescribed if you are
Speaker 1: someone who is diagnosed, to reduce that risk of transmission
Speaker 1: of HIV to your sexual partners. It's about being aware,
Speaker 1: not someone. We don't want to lay the blame at
Speaker 1: the feet of someone living with HIV regardless. You and
Speaker 1: I had this conversation a couple like about a week ago.
Speaker 1: It's about empowerment, knowing your status and then taking the
Speaker 1: necessary steps to protect yourself thereafter to the of your ability.
Speaker 2: Is there anything you'd want to leave our listeners with
Speaker 2: who may not be I don't know, just in the
Speaker 2: know on where to get prepped, don't feel like they've
Speaker 2: got community enough to discuss this with.
Speaker 1: That's that that blows me sometimes, because I know we
Speaker 1: talk from a place of privilege. Knowledge is power. We
Speaker 1: know about PREP, we know about all the things. We
Speaker 1: feel empowered to advocate for our sexual health. But some
Speaker 1: women are not. Some women are not. I've heard stories
Speaker 1: from women who are in abusive relationships, who have partners
Speaker 1: who do horrible things to them sexually that they don't
Speaker 1: always have control over. But you want to encourage people
Speaker 1: to find a community and answer your DMS. Okay, we'll
Speaker 1: do the community.
Speaker 2: And also, is there any website just for where someone
Speaker 2: in the country can like figure out how to get
Speaker 2: it done, where to get it done, just get more info.
Speaker 1: Ah. So I'm trying to think there are tons of
Speaker 1: different resources planned parenthood. As you mention, I know you
Speaker 1: love a good plant parenthood. So parenthood has resources. It's
Speaker 1: just the easiest. I will say that plan parenthood is yeah,
Speaker 1: in your local state health department.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it depends on where you live. Depends on
Speaker 2: where you live, depends on where you live.
Speaker 1: But also some pharmaceutical companies have amazing websites related to
Speaker 1: the drugs that they manufacture. Okay, but I would start
Speaker 1: with a good instagram of plant parenthood. They have diagrams,
Speaker 1: they have memes, they have videos, testimonials. They are not
Speaker 1: just the abortion place, y'all.
Speaker 2: Okay, They're the birth control place, They're the HIV prevention place.
Speaker 1: Just go over there gender affirming care place.
Speaker 2: Oh great, how about that. There might be a little
Speaker 2: bit of crazies outside with the signs.
Speaker 1: I give them a girl, walk right past them and
Speaker 1: do your business. Jesus love you there.
Speaker 2: Well, bitch, sorry he sent you out here today with
Speaker 2: the hole spiel.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for joining us on the
Speaker 1: podcast today and having this conversation. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Hopefully we encouraged and urged you and we're gonna pave
Speaker 3: you the us to go and.
Speaker 1: Get tested because it's not as scary as y'all. Goddamn think,
Speaker 1: what are you waiting? And we're all humans sometimes we're
Speaker 1: afraid of the thing. I'm telling everybody, get tested in
Speaker 1: forty eight hours. I can't have a good time. It's
Speaker 1: definitely not forty eight hours anymore. And HIV is immediate,
Speaker 1: that's correct. HIV.
Speaker 3: I was still waiting for the provider and my HIV
Speaker 3: result was in my amati. We had a great time
Speaker 3: speaking to doctor Danielle. We are even more excited to
Speaker 3: introduce our next conversation with our m B legend Raheem Devon.
Speaker 3: He is known for his soul full, love centered R
Speaker 3: and B. But what a lot of people do not
Speaker 3: realize is how deeply involved he is in his advocacy,
Speaker 3: especially around HIV prevention. Raheem has been doing the work
Speaker 3: of educating black men about the importance of getting tested,
Speaker 3: knowing their status, and having real, honest conversations about sexual health.
Speaker 3: He's also been using his platform to spread awareness around
Speaker 3: prep the HIV prevention medication, and to normalize brothers taking
Speaker 3: control of their health without shame or stigma. We are
Speaker 3: really excited to continue this conversation and without further ado,
Speaker 3: please enjoy our conversation with Raheem Devon.
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody here, we are with Rahem Devon. We are
Speaker 2: out of the studio in person and we just had
Speaker 2: to join because y'all know I love niggas with drid
Speaker 2: So that's really what sorry, I mean singer songwriters. But
Speaker 2: first what I pulled up on Google. Raheem Devon is
Speaker 2: an American R and B singer songwriter, a tourus known
Speaker 2: for smooth vocals and romantic themes.
Speaker 1: Do you want to know what chat GPT's got for you?
Speaker 4: Rahim influenced by his father's music and his mother's vinyl
Speaker 4: collection from the DMV, and also a radio personality, philanthropic,
Speaker 4: We love all of that.
Speaker 1: I almost couldn't say that word. I got braceist.
Speaker 5: But everybody walking, yeah, hey going.
Speaker 2: Can I also say shout out to anyone that had
Speaker 2: a vinyl collection because I thought that was gonna be
Speaker 2: like my little cheap hobby.
Speaker 1: I did had no clue then.
Speaker 2: Motherfuckers were like sixty to eighty dollars a peak. That
Speaker 2: is an expensive hobby.
Speaker 1: Maybe it wasn't back then. Was it is that expensive
Speaker 1: back then?
Speaker 2: No? Back then I thought they were ten cents. I
Speaker 2: thought I was about to get vinyls for ten cents.
Speaker 1: Honestly, are you know anything?
Speaker 5: You know? You know anything costs more.
Speaker 1: Now Nigga's got an aesthetic.
Speaker 2: Like when you go into somebody's house and they got vinyls,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, wow, he is so like.
Speaker 5: Thee Yeah, check on my vinyl baby.
Speaker 2: Inflation has hit the vinyls. Well, Reggie really excited to
Speaker 2: have you.
Speaker 3: We're gonna be talking about a lot of things today,
Speaker 3: but what we're really excited to I have the conversation
Speaker 3: with you about is you being an advocate for prep
Speaker 3: and continuing the conversation specific specifically as a heterosexual black
Speaker 3: man and the conversation around PREP. So I guess before
Speaker 3: we start, can we talk about how you got involved
Speaker 3: with this specific campaign and why it's so important for
Speaker 3: you to talk about it?
Speaker 5: For sure? Well, I started my foundation, the Love Life Foundation,
Speaker 5: back in twenty twelve. So one of our major initiatives
Speaker 5: has always been HIV awareness and among other things, domestic
Speaker 5: violence and you know, textbook scholarships for the you for
Speaker 5: kids and you know, in my area here in the DMV,
Speaker 5: So I always been doing things as it relates to community.
Speaker 5: But how I found out about how I found out
Speaker 5: about PREP was my primary care physician, who I've had
Speaker 5: for some a few years now at the time, a
Speaker 5: little after COVID, I was searching for a new doctor.
Speaker 5: Stumbled upon doctor Hodge, who's out here in my area
Speaker 5: in the DMV. And one of the first things probably
Speaker 5: he asked me, getting like leading into the conversation as
Speaker 5: we were talking about sexual health. And you know, he's
Speaker 5: drawing my blood and doing the you know, the NECESSF
Speaker 5: the first physical primary care physical. You know, we're getting
Speaker 5: acquainted with each other. He says, are you on PREP?
Speaker 5: And uh? And I said, and I said no, and
Speaker 5: and and you know, at the time. I mean, I
Speaker 5: want to say, maybe I had heard about that there
Speaker 5: was a medication but didn't quite know what it was.
Speaker 5: You know, and with all the different types of stigmas
Speaker 5: out you hear all these different things. So but it
Speaker 5: was the first time that that, you know, I had
Speaker 5: had a primary care doctor, you know, or where they
Speaker 5: just blameant, just like straight up asked. And you know,
Speaker 5: he went on to tell me about statistically what's going
Speaker 5: on in d C and how you know HIV was
Speaker 5: back on the rise. He asked if I was married.
Speaker 5: He has read a lot of questions and he strongly
Speaker 5: suggested we trying. And you know, I quickly asked about
Speaker 5: the side effects. You know what I mean, I'll all
Speaker 5: consider myself like outside outside, but if you know, if
Speaker 5: you're outside your outside, you know, think about HIV. Is
Speaker 5: that anybody could be HIV possible? Everybody's HIV possible, meaning
Speaker 5: if you don't do the proper things, had to you know,
Speaker 5: get tested regularly, had to you know, sexual health conversations
Speaker 5: you need to have with your partner. So I said,
Speaker 5: I try it. I've been on there ever since. You know,
Speaker 5: you're here.
Speaker 3: In one moment, I I the question will not leave
Speaker 3: my head, and I have to ask you, and it's
Speaker 3: going to be completely ignorant. I lean into my ignorance
Speaker 3: because I have questions that maybe other people are asking.
Speaker 5: Lean with it.
Speaker 3: Oh so did your primary care physician tell you or
Speaker 3: ask you or educate you on PREP just because you
Speaker 3: were in a city with high rates like DC, or
Speaker 3: did they ask you first, hey, are you.
Speaker 1: Having sex with men?
Speaker 3: To my knowledge, PREP for a long time was only
Speaker 3: offered to men having sex with other men, so not
Speaker 3: to you know, super ask you about your sexuality. But
Speaker 3: how did your primary care physician straight up ask you
Speaker 3: without knowing your sexual history?
Speaker 5: No, definitely ask my sexual history, like you know, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean. You know, you got to get
Speaker 5: a pro state uh check in the physical. Well, you
Speaker 5: got all the things, so you know, I was just
Speaker 5: as as honest and transparent as I wanted to be,
Speaker 5: you know, with as you know, we got hippo law
Speaker 5: and all that kind of thing. So I felt comfortable,
Speaker 5: you know, And and of course it wasn't like that
Speaker 5: it would be my first physical or visit to a
Speaker 5: doctor's office, you know what I mean. But I think, honestly,
Speaker 5: I think it was purely out of uh, just like
Speaker 5: genuine concern and sexual health conversations, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: That that that he was letting me know like, hey,
Speaker 5: there's something out here that that you know, that can
Speaker 5: kill you, and there's something out here that that can
Speaker 5: be a great say it can be it can save you,
Speaker 5: be a perpenitive measure, you know, Like it's not it's
Speaker 5: not the green light, the go grow dog in it,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, like just just not not
Speaker 5: at all, because obviously it's it's it's a long list
Speaker 5: of other things that that that that are out there
Speaker 5: that we don't want, you know, s T I S
Speaker 5: and stuff like that. So I mean, he really broke
Speaker 5: it down and made me feel very He made me
Speaker 5: feel very comfortable to have a conversation, you know, me
Speaker 5: me in particular, I was looking for a black doctor,
Speaker 5: just me in particular, you know what I mean at
Speaker 5: the time and wed we immediately like hit it off
Speaker 5: and had a and and and and and you know,
Speaker 5: and I feel like it was coming from a place
Speaker 5: of like who I am or what I do? You know,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, because I've been you know,
Speaker 5: being a public figure can be it could be I
Speaker 5: won't say annoying, but you know, I've been in places
Speaker 5: where like I'm not trying to I'm not trying to
Speaker 5: dap you up in the restroom home or literally or
Speaker 5: literally getting you know, getting an HIV testing. It's like
Speaker 5: can I get an autograph? And I'm like, that's crazy,
Speaker 5: are you?
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 5: You know, yeah, so so you know so so yeah again,
Speaker 5: you know, doctor, he's amazing. You know I had I
Speaker 5: did have a lot of questions. I too, I too
Speaker 5: have heard have have heard you know, and and and
Speaker 5: and now that I know what I know that yeah,
Speaker 5: like you know, this is not a you know, HIV
Speaker 5: is not a lgbt Q thing. HIV is a global, yeah,
Speaker 5: pandemic epidemic.
Speaker 2: That that that.
Speaker 5: It's back on the rise. You know, I come from
Speaker 5: a I come from an era where there was a
Speaker 5: lot of messaging, you know, and you just don't see
Speaker 5: that anymore, you know what I mean. So you can
Speaker 5: there you know they're there, there are you know, there
Speaker 5: are there children my you know, my oldest son is
Speaker 5: my oldest son is twenty, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: So his brother right behind him a seventeen. So you
Speaker 5: know they're there for they're you know, there are folks
Speaker 5: out here they don't know what HIV is, which is crazy.
Speaker 2: You know, I really wanted to tell y'all you just
Speaker 2: had me thinking of this. I completely wanted to share
Speaker 2: this story, but forgot this was a perfect time. Last
Speaker 2: week I got tested and for some reason, I was nervous,
Speaker 2: because you know it, you cannot fuck for a year
Speaker 2: still be nervous. And the doctor saw me being nervous
Speaker 2: and she goes, have you heard about PREP? I said, yes,
Speaker 2: I have a sister, and you know what, I appreciate
Speaker 2: you saying that I don't know what I'm giving off.
Speaker 2: And just how Mandy asked you, did the doctor assume
Speaker 2: you might have been gay or sleep well? Man? I
Speaker 2: was starting to think to myself because we all have
Speaker 2: that stigma no matter who we are, even though we're
Speaker 2: all advocates. I was like, does she think I'm a
Speaker 2: home or she just saying it because I'm nervous, And
Speaker 2: it's like, we actually have to get over and it's
Speaker 2: me here right wanting to tell everybody to get on
Speaker 2: this thing.
Speaker 1: But I was also like, damn, I can't believe that
Speaker 1: even came into my brain.
Speaker 2: So I can't imagine those of you listening that are
Speaker 2: like maybe feeling a little pressured to get on prep
Speaker 2: or feeling like you don't need it because you ain't
Speaker 2: out here. But it's the pool, the dating pool that
Speaker 2: we're in, right. You could be with one person, but
Speaker 2: when rates are as high as they are, that one
Speaker 2: person can be affected. But speaking of one person, I
Speaker 2: wanted to play a little icebreaker game with you, Mandy,
Speaker 2: and I love to do this with our guest, and
Speaker 2: I feel like you're gonna have some good answers, so
Speaker 2: you will play smash your pasts.
Speaker 1: But it's.
Speaker 2: So even now to honesty their past sex and longestant relationships. Okay,
Speaker 2: so she is a ten, but you find out by
Speaker 2: scrolling on her ig before the date that she's been
Speaker 2: to a bunch of your shows before, even though she
Speaker 2: says she's never heard your music.
Speaker 1: You're gonna smash your past.
Speaker 5: I'm probably gonna past and she's a man.
Speaker 1: Depend on what she looked like.
Speaker 5: Nah, I'm a past because.
Speaker 1: He said she's a liar helped the game. She's a ten.
Speaker 5: I mean with these so you gotta factor and the
Speaker 5: lion you know, you know that's it's that seems like
Speaker 5: while why live about something like live about the little things,
Speaker 5: live about the big things, and and the and the
Speaker 5: and and then there's a lot of other things that
Speaker 5: come into play, like what what's what's the what's what's
Speaker 5: the agenda?
Speaker 1: Like what you know to get your money?
Speaker 5: What's what's the alternated?
Speaker 2: Okay for the past, she's a ten But five years
Speaker 2: ago on Twitter, she said, damn Donald Trump really starting
Speaker 2: a new wave?
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 5: Five years ago, five years ago meaning meaning like we're
Speaker 5: going meaning like meaning like we are, we're already together.
Speaker 5: And then and then like one day I stumbled upon.
Speaker 2: The old you didn't smash yet, so you're gonna smash
Speaker 2: your pass based on the tweet it was five years ago.
Speaker 5: Though, Yeah, I'm a probably past.
Speaker 1: I'm smashing and we're having a conversation. And depending how
Speaker 1: far you are.
Speaker 5: I mean, I mean, let me say that it ain't
Speaker 5: gonna be paid. It wouldn't be just upon that that
Speaker 5: I'm going to base my decision. No either, So so
Speaker 5: there's a there's a few other dynamics that are involved.
Speaker 5: But you know, maybe be there. How about this. I
Speaker 5: smashed and I'm good and I'm there for a good time,
Speaker 5: not a long.
Speaker 2: Time while Okay, all right, hold on a ten your
Speaker 2: dreams celebrity crush. You've been liking all her photos on
Speaker 2: I G. She says, Hey, rahiem, I'm in Australia on set.
Speaker 2: I can't leave, but I want you to come and
Speaker 2: see me. Are you gonna blindly fly out to smash.
Speaker 5: Hell? No, they got all kind of face recognition of
Speaker 5: what they got, all kind of you said, you said,
Speaker 5: you said, Am I flying out off of the You're not.
Speaker 1: Going to Australia to beat your celebrity streets?
Speaker 5: Na, not without not not not not without confirming that.
Speaker 1: It's really it's they're writing you back.
Speaker 5: You're having this convent, we're having this conversation on.
Speaker 1: On I G G.
Speaker 5: You want me to assume they're real. We don't live
Speaker 5: in the era. We don't do We don't live in
Speaker 5: the air where you can assume me. You got to
Speaker 5: fight check everything now flight or not? Oh for sure,
Speaker 5: for sure, like depending on what. Absolutely it's my dream
Speaker 5: celebrity now absolute, absolutely absolutely Australia am back.
Speaker 1: I'll go to Middle America. What are we talking about? Australia,
Speaker 1: But I'll go to funking Dayton Ohio, what I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of Australia.
Speaker 2: Okay, she's a ten, but it's the final one that
Speaker 2: sex related. She thinks Prep is a little gay.
Speaker 1: Now do you mean to educate?
Speaker 5: Do you still I'm not so so one, I'm not
Speaker 5: insecure about my sexuality, you know what I mean? So
Speaker 5: so yeah, so I'm I'm I'm that's an opportunity to educate,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Like I've and and and ironically,
Speaker 5: you know, you know, I've dated and since being on prep,
Speaker 5: I've had to have a conversation, Hey, I'm on prep,
Speaker 5: and it was it's it's a it's a It's amazing
Speaker 5: the amount of people who still think, you know, which
Speaker 5: is which is a crazy stigma that it's only for
Speaker 5: gay people or you know, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, I can imagine explaining it as a as a man,
Speaker 3: like because even as a woman.
Speaker 1: I was just telling my boyfriend about it and he
Speaker 1: was like, so does that mean you have sex with
Speaker 1: guys that have sex with guys? Like what does that mean?
Speaker 1: And and we're open, so we have sex with other people.
Speaker 2: And the conversation literally went to educating that, especially as
Speaker 2: someone who goes to sex clubs, who has other partners.
Speaker 2: It's just like mind you and I use condoms with everybody,
Speaker 2: but boy, do I just not trust anybody for real?
Speaker 2: And again, like kind of like you said, h HIV
Speaker 2: is you know, it's it's possible for anybody. It doesn't
Speaker 2: care who it attaches itself to.
Speaker 1: It literally can be for all of us.
Speaker 2: You had a QR code before they can meet you
Speaker 2: to learn about PREP.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, to learn about HIV, to learn about health,
Speaker 5: to learn about PREP, to notice statistics of what was
Speaker 5: going on, statistics, what's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that you bring that up because like
Speaker 2: so many people have a negative thought on celebrities who
Speaker 2: get involved, say with you know, voting and elections and
Speaker 2: getting into politics.
Speaker 1: I love that you're getting into this space. And we've
Speaker 1: seen other artists recently talk about PREP as well. I
Speaker 1: know Tamar has talked about it. Do a liipa cardi B.
Speaker 3: I want to ask you, however, though, taking the celebrity
Speaker 3: out of it, how do you have this conversation with
Speaker 3: your male counterparts, with your friends. I don't know many
Speaker 3: other men advocating for this at this moment, celebrity wise
Speaker 3: or just influencer wise. So I would like to know,
Speaker 3: how does this conversation start or begin with your male friends, Like,
Speaker 3: are you also educating them outside of black women? We
Speaker 3: know that that's who we're trying to reach, but we
Speaker 3: also have a lot of black male listeners here as well.
Speaker 1: What do those conversations look like?
Speaker 5: Absolutely absolutely having a conversation. I mean, for me, it's
Speaker 5: it's it's you know, it's easy. You know, most of
Speaker 5: my male friends, most of my closest in a circle
Speaker 5: that I can think of, everybody's married except for me,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? And which which By the way,
Speaker 5: taking it back a step with doctor Hodge, he mentioned
Speaker 5: to me when he was when he was telling me
Speaker 5: about rep You know, that was one of the things
Speaker 5: that kind of stood out to me, I think in
Speaker 5: that conversation that day, is that he has married couples
Speaker 5: that are on app for a number of different reasons
Speaker 5: as well. Okay, you know what I mean, so that
Speaker 5: you know, so it was just it was just that
Speaker 5: he was just telling he was just just being like
Speaker 5: really raw and honest, just just what he's seeing it
Speaker 5: on the day to day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: The fact that uh, you know, people are stepping outside
Speaker 5: of their relationships. You know that maybe maybe maybe they're
Speaker 5: you know, maybe maybe they what one partner thinks is
Speaker 5: a monogamous relationship while living a poly lifestyle, Like just
Speaker 5: so many things, not being honest about their partners about
Speaker 5: you know, their sexual health, of what it is they're into.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean when you when you thawt
Speaker 3: to your homeboys and we we know homies share like
Speaker 3: when they have side chicks or when they're stepping out,
Speaker 3: Like are those moments that you that you would bring
Speaker 3: up prep to your friends? Like again, like I know
Speaker 3: the importance of bringing this to public platforms and going
Speaker 3: on tour with you, but I think it's important also
Speaker 3: to talk about how these conversations can be had in
Speaker 3: the group chat or over a spade game or how
Speaker 3: to cookout, Like how are you bringing this into your
Speaker 3: personal life?
Speaker 5: Absolutely? I mean for me, Like again, it's an easy
Speaker 5: conversation because I'm not you know, if any conversation that
Speaker 5: can save you know, my life, my homies life, Like
Speaker 5: I'm going to have a conversation, right, but I had
Speaker 5: a conversation with my twenty year old son and my
Speaker 5: seventeen year old in particular, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: I mean we we're out and I mean I was
Speaker 5: just I'm one of those dads. It's like we have
Speaker 5: like warp sense of humor anyway, so that so that
Speaker 5: allows us to be able to kind of like tie into,
Speaker 5: you know, conversations about sex. I mean, I think, I think,
Speaker 5: I think it. I think it never be I don't
Speaker 5: know if it ever becomes comfortable for your kid that
Speaker 5: like want to talk to you about like what they
Speaker 5: got going on sexually, you know, dating, you know, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, and coming and coming to you
Speaker 5: for a vice. He in there, but but I like
Speaker 5: to always I like for them, I always know that
Speaker 5: the doors open and had a conversations, you know. So
Speaker 5: you know, my oldest he's in he's in the military.
Speaker 5: He's an airman and stationed out in Arizona. So I know,
Speaker 5: like I'm pretty certain he's no.
Speaker 1: No, you know, my my sister and my brother are
Speaker 1: army veteran.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know he gets some sticky and I've been
Speaker 5: and I've been on a base of two in a lifetime.
Speaker 1: Maybe now, no, you hear something crazy.
Speaker 2: We had a risky dinner that I've been doing with
Speaker 2: Gilliad and y'all probably seen it.
Speaker 1: It's the whole red thing.
Speaker 2: So one of the women at the dinner starts the
Speaker 2: conversation by saying, yo, like, I can't have children anymore
Speaker 2: due to a sexually transmitted infection I had. So I'm
Speaker 2: telling y'all make sure you protect yourself. This is like
Speaker 2: first five minutes of dinner, right, so everybody judging her.
Speaker 2: An hour later we started getting to the real thing.
Speaker 2: She's like, I was on the base with my husband.
Speaker 2: You got to get tested to even obviously get into
Speaker 2: the military, she said.
Speaker 1: While being there, her man was such a hey.
Speaker 2: She found out when she got her next annual that
Speaker 2: he ended up giving her something. And because she wasn't
Speaker 2: able to check because like you know, they were busy,
Speaker 2: they were doing anything, they're not getting tested as often.
Speaker 2: She literally they had to remove her fallopian tubes. And
Speaker 2: she said to me and the rest of the women
Speaker 2: at this dinner, like, y'all are married at this table,
Speaker 2: not realizing that this protective conversation also has to do
Speaker 2: with you. It ain't just me, it ain't just the
Speaker 2: other single bitches here, Like, we're all included in this.
Speaker 2: And when you think about how so many people in
Speaker 2: relationships feel safer.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, I'm not on the streets no more. I'm good.
Speaker 2: Like this conversation is for everybody, not just the three
Speaker 2: of us who are outside. You know, like sometimes Mandy
Speaker 2: and I are talking about things, our open relationships and
Speaker 2: the fun crazy things we do, and I really feel
Speaker 2: like people be listening to us or you know, a
Speaker 2: mean comment saying like.
Speaker 1: Oh they why they this. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: I'm not putting myself at risk that may be out
Speaker 2: with his friends, like it's the same.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And that was, and that was and you know,
Speaker 5: and that was the conversation you know that I have
Speaker 5: with the boys. It was just like just like, hey,
Speaker 5: just so you know, there's something out here called HIV
Speaker 5: that can become as you know what I mean, and
Speaker 5: it can kill you. And you know, it was interesting
Speaker 5: because they don't it's not being talked about and you know,
Speaker 5: amongst amongst their them and their crews and you know,
Speaker 5: their their their their age bracket, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So are you single or are you dating? Single?
Speaker 2: Dating?
Speaker 1: Or that's the same thing.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Because I want to know how you bring this conversation
Speaker 2: to any of your partners as a man, how do you.
Speaker 1: Say, let's get tested together?
Speaker 2: Do you have any stories of how that conversation happens
Speaker 2: while dating?
Speaker 5: I've dated, and I've dated and had I've been in
Speaker 5: multiple situations where I've dated and where we sat down
Speaker 5: and like got tested like before we did whatever we did,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. So I've been So I've
Speaker 5: been Yeah, but so I've been in like little like
Speaker 5: literally you know what I mean. Like and at the
Speaker 5: first in the first time, it was it was it
Speaker 5: was if it was it was awkward for me, but
Speaker 5: it was refreshing them, Okay, I mean because because of
Speaker 5: course there's like a there's like a you know, there's
Speaker 5: like a who saw that happens like after the fact,
Speaker 5: right and then and then I can't deny, like you know,
Speaker 5: there's a period where you're waiting, You're waiting for the
Speaker 5: you're waiting for the results. You're sitting there and you're
Speaker 5: waiting for the results with your partner and you're like, ship,
Speaker 5: what if it comes back? When did it comes back post.
Speaker 1: You know, at home test?
Speaker 5: Yeah, tell us about it. Bring the at home test? Yeah.
Speaker 5: So so so at home tests. And I definitely was
Speaker 5: seventeen with that test. That's very it's definitely, there's definitely
Speaker 5: it's definitely, there's definitely back in it. This is definitely
Speaker 5: within the next Lets we just said in the last decade,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean for sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And where are you getting these at home tests?
Speaker 1: Let's for anyone want.
Speaker 5: They got a home tests everywhere, CBS, Amazon, same place
Speaker 5: you Amazon, they do home delivery, same place you go,
Speaker 5: you know, same place you go, you know to get
Speaker 5: a pack of Magnam said yell.
Speaker 1: The brand.
Speaker 2: The ones that I've used are or Quick and they're
Speaker 2: like dollars I think and Dwayne read I know some.
Speaker 2: But the ones that I've seen in the stores or
Speaker 2: Quick and it's quick and it's not even blood.
Speaker 5: It's so yeah, so so so that so there's that
Speaker 5: period of time where you're like, what if my test
Speaker 5: go that positive? Ship, where does she positive? You know
Speaker 5: what I mean? Like, you know, but yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean wait, wait, now what would you do if the
Speaker 2: test did come back positive?
Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean not his test, but the other person,
Speaker 1: right right, yeah, you know me.
Speaker 5: I'm a human being. So the first thing I'm gonna
Speaker 5: the first thing I'm gonna do is try to be
Speaker 5: consoling or I'm probably gonna talk like this listen real, yeah,
Speaker 5: I mean obviously they just got some news that is like, right,
Speaker 5: life changing, right do I do I just burn up
Speaker 5: the road to just leave, like absolutely not, Like you know,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna, you know, on a serious note, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: be as helpful as I can be. And and and
Speaker 5: you know, I'm assuming like this is somebody that I
Speaker 5: don't know that well, right, and maybe this is our
Speaker 5: first time, maybe we've been hanging out, we've been a
Speaker 5: few dates, whatever, and we decided that we were about
Speaker 5: to be intimate, and then we get that news. Like
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna just like just roll out, like you know,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna try to try with with with with with
Speaker 5: Now I got it, And now of course I got
Speaker 5: cheat code advantage that I can call somebody literally from
Speaker 5: Gilliad or you know, somebody from my team. I can
Speaker 5: call and say, like Hevy in confidentiality, I have a
Speaker 5: friend and you know, and and try to be there
Speaker 5: like you know, that's that I would imagine that that
Speaker 5: would be like I can I can imagine.
Speaker 1: And luckily, you know Senten right, because at the end
Speaker 1: of the day.
Speaker 2: There's a path of health forward regardless of your HIV status.
Speaker 2: Like there's prevention. You're already on prep, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. Like condoms, like the thing I think that
Speaker 2: people don't understand. We're all trying to force them to
Speaker 2: get tested. I feel like sometimes I'm screaming it is
Speaker 2: because the only problem is not knowing if you have it,
Speaker 2: you can control it.
Speaker 1: You get on medicine, you live life easy. But not
Speaker 1: only that, we see Magic Johnson and Cookie. Yeah, baby,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So there's also a path.
Speaker 2: Or a relationship and romantic partnership in all of these things,
Speaker 2: you know, with medication and things.
Speaker 5: But respectfully, though, when we talk about Magic Johnson the Cookie,
Speaker 5: be talking about a different generation, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: Like that there's a whole enough, there's a whole enough
Speaker 5: that set of demographics you know, from what fourteen to
Speaker 5: twenty eight that may not they may not either they
Speaker 5: may they may not know or they don't care. You know.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I think at one point, especially seeing how long Magic
Speaker 2: Johnson has lived, there was quite a bit of time
Speaker 2: or an era where the conversation around HIV literally ceased
Speaker 2: to exist.
Speaker 1: It's almost like they thought it just disappeared though he was,
Speaker 1: so I can definitely I'm back then. I was just like,
Speaker 1: ain't no way he paid somebody like he got the magic.
Speaker 2: Well, even I say, the generation under us, I think
Speaker 2: we definitely had enough education to know.
Speaker 1: How it was.
Speaker 2: I actually lost an aunt too to the virus, and so,
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's interesting just now seeing that the
Speaker 2: conversation is coming back to the front, which I think
Speaker 2: is very important because you're right, Inge, I do think
Speaker 2: like this younger generation right now just isn't having the conversation.
Speaker 1: And even though they're having less sex, I think with
Speaker 1: the sensationalizing of raw sex, I think these conversations go
Speaker 1: hand in hand. For sure.
Speaker 5: It makes it makes for it makes for a very
Speaker 5: dangerous time. You know. You think when you think about
Speaker 5: where we are, you know, on this political climate, and
Speaker 5: you think about what's what what, what's what it's potentially
Speaker 5: about to happen in terms of like insurance, growing up
Speaker 5: and care and.
Speaker 1: The deep funding of planned parenthood.
Speaker 5: It's like that, it's it's like the perfect storm. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I do want to also remind you guys that we did,
Speaker 2: in fact have an episode.
Speaker 1: This was maybe within our first year. We did have
Speaker 1: an episode where.
Speaker 2: Someone was born with HIV, so I'm gonna make sure
Speaker 2: to link that episode in the description here.
Speaker 1: But we spoke to someone who literally their.
Speaker 2: Mother had it and contracted it prior to being pregnant
Speaker 2: and they were born with HIV, so I'll be sure
Speaker 2: to link that episode as well in the description of
Speaker 2: this file.
Speaker 1: Well, Rahiem, I do want to thank you so much
Speaker 1: for having this conversation with us. I guess if you
Speaker 1: can leave with a final words, I would love to know.
Speaker 3: Your final thoughts to getting tested and also just speaking
Speaker 3: to our male listeners as well.
Speaker 5: Again, you know, anybody is HIV possible, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean. So you know, have the conversations you need
Speaker 5: to have, you know, learn about crap, you know, see
Speaker 5: if it's for you, talk to your primary care physician
Speaker 5: about it, you know, educate yourself about it on it
Speaker 5: and and and and see if it's for you. And
Speaker 5: then and then of course for like all the things
Speaker 5: that we've been talking about, you can go to Healthy
Speaker 5: sexual or Healthy Sexuals with the s dot com, uh,
Speaker 5: you know, to give more information.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's something that you know that that we continue
Speaker 5: to fight and you know, create awareness about you know.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me on the platform. I look
Speaker 5: forward to the coming back and having more of a
Speaker 5: raw conversation.
Speaker 1: Yes, protected, protected, but protect Ratty.
Speaker 2: Thank you so very much, And guys, we will be
Speaker 2: putting all of the resources and links in the description
Speaker 2: of this episode, make sure you also join us over
Speaker 2: on patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions where we're gonna
Speaker 2: continue the conversation but also provide you with those links
Speaker 2: and resources so that you can educate yourself on prep.
Speaker 2: The year is almost over, but you definitely want to
Speaker 2: go into twenty twenty six knowing your status, so make
Speaker 2: sure you go ahead and set up those appointments to
Speaker 2: get tested. We highly encourage it, and we want to
Speaker 2: thank you guys for being educated and edutained while.
Speaker 1: Listening to this episode. Thank you so much, and we
Speaker 1: will see you next week.