Speaker 1: Okay, all right underword Mark there's ways Are you ready?
Speaker 2: Mark? Heather take it away?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: Trailer over obnoxious pop music like an early eighties two
Speaker 3: thousands ad spot.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Gym, your favorite rundown fitness shithole.
Speaker 3: In this pilot episode, we follow neurotic girlboch Valerie and
Speaker 3: her ragtag employees as they attempt to film a commercial
Speaker 3: for the grand reopening of the gym.
Speaker 1: Valerie grew up.
Speaker 3: In this shitty local gym as her second home and
Speaker 3: purchased the failing establishment after the former owner was exposed
Speaker 3: as the Flamingo King in a scathing tell all documentary.
Speaker 1: The FBI took the.
Speaker 3: Birds, and Valerie spent her life savings to keep the
Speaker 3: place from being bulldozed. Can she restore the gym to
Speaker 3: its former glory so it lives up to her childhood's
Speaker 3: rose colored memories? Or will it pale in comparison to
Speaker 3: its leak and modern competitor.
Speaker 1: Across the street.
Speaker 3: Solsters to find out, Come on down to the gym
Speaker 3: and get a full ab workout, laughing in the comfort
Speaker 3: of your own home.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: The Gym Pilot written by Danny Hayes, Cold Open interior
Speaker 3: cycling studio day set, work fast on a stationary bike.
Speaker 1: Rock hard quads bulged through super.
Speaker 3: Tight biking shorts with the brand the Gym. Johnny late thirties,
Speaker 3: a t MoU version of Atlance Armstrong cycles on a
Speaker 3: play I Guess a front of an indoor cycling studio.
Speaker 3: The thump thump thump of workout music pulses as lights,
Speaker 3: Oh there we go, as lights dance over peeling paint,
Speaker 3: scratched mirrors, and a few scattered bikes labeled out of order.
Speaker 1: A voice speaks over the music.
Speaker 3: The guim isn't just a place behind Johnny Brian thirties
Speaker 3: eye candy and he knows it.
Speaker 1: Copies Johnny's movements to a t. It's the place, It's
Speaker 1: a community.
Speaker 3: Chris twenty eye candy and completely oblivious wobbles off beat.
Speaker 3: This guy skips legg day and it shows a culture,
Speaker 3: a lifestyle.
Speaker 1: It's home.
Speaker 3: Kayla mid twenties, just here for the gram bikes at
Speaker 3: an even base.
Speaker 1: She puffs her chest out. Her shirt reads at Kayla Karma.
Speaker 1: Cut come on, cut, cut, cut.
Speaker 3: Camera reveals a commercial crew packed in this tiny room.
Speaker 3: Valerie mid thirties, type A socially awkward and stuck in nostalgia.
Speaker 1: Lane glares at Kayla.
Speaker 4: Kyla, I told you only our clothes for the commercial,
Speaker 4: but it's my instuck.
Speaker 3: Valerie throws a T shirt at her, It's vomit green and.
Speaker 1: Hugh hel do we have any other shorts? Guys?
Speaker 4: Look, this is all we have in stock. Okay, So
Speaker 4: like Tim Gunn says, make it work.
Speaker 1: I like packsim in tight.
Speaker 3: Bryan flaps his own button, shimmy's his cheeks.
Speaker 4: If I wear my handle I can promote us without
Speaker 4: an ad disclaimer.
Speaker 1: Valerie concedes. Kaylea tosses the giant shirt back to her.
Speaker 4: Okay, here we go, grand reopening commercial Take two.
Speaker 3: Action trainers reassemble on their bikes. Commercial crew rolls, Johnny
Speaker 3: begins to work out again. Valerie clears her throat and
Speaker 3: puts on her sales voice.
Speaker 1: The gym isn't just a place.
Speaker 3: Johnny stands out of the saddle, leans on one handlebar,
Speaker 3: and pulls his shorts to a just luggage that shifted
Speaker 3: in transit.
Speaker 1: A handle bar creaks under his body weight, then snapped.
Speaker 1: Johnny slams into the seat right on his ball. His
Speaker 1: testicles squish.
Speaker 3: And twist, He's groaned and collapses in pain.
Speaker 1: Another one nights the.
Speaker 4: Dusk the bicycle, You guys, He'll be fine and.
Speaker 1: Cold opens all right.
Speaker 3: At one exterior gym parking lot day, only two buildings
Speaker 3: are left standing in this otherwise demolished strip mall, a
Speaker 3: tech repair shop and the gym, where two handyman are
Speaker 3: hanging a banner Grand Reopening, a board EMT and a
Speaker 3: gruff driver Lou Johnny into an ambulance.
Speaker 2: This used to be that third place, right They had
Speaker 2: like what ostrich yoga?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and parapolates.
Speaker 5: Did you hear what happened to him?
Speaker 2: Yeah? It sucks. The birds were the only good thing
Speaker 2: about this dump, but hey, at least we got a
Speaker 2: new gym.
Speaker 3: The ambulance pulls away through the empty parking lot and
Speaker 3: passes a full parking lot across the street.
Speaker 1: This is Solstice with.
Speaker 3: The barbell as the eye and a sign that reads
Speaker 3: Grand Opening Valerie size Brian, Kayla, Chris and Alexa twenties
Speaker 3: not the brightest crayon in the box. Watch the ambulance
Speaker 3: drive away for real.
Speaker 1: Portion is new joke is that what happened to? Is
Speaker 1: that what happened to Neil Armshawn, the trumpet player. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're thinking of Neil Diamond.
Speaker 4: Okay, you guys please circle up. They said that Johnny's
Speaker 4: going to be out for two weeks, so I don't know.
Speaker 4: I guess I have to cover his classes and his clients.
Speaker 1: Wait, what about the commercials?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Kayla.
Speaker 4: I mean, we can't cancel on our members, but the
Speaker 4: film crew is only here for today, so if I
Speaker 4: reschedule them, it's going to cost me an arm and
Speaker 4: a leg. Spirit of alanas help me.
Speaker 1: This is the.
Speaker 6: Rain and we can have Okay, Okay, if we split
Speaker 6: Johnny's work between the three of us and keep the
Speaker 6: place running, you can focus on the commercial and whenever
Speaker 6: we're free, we can be in it like you planned, right, guys.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm happy to be on camera if you
Speaker 4: need an extra.
Speaker 1: I'm a professionally trained actress. Kayla malsalong.
Speaker 3: Professionally trained actress, then shoots the smirk at Brian. Valerie
Speaker 3: checks her clipboard.
Speaker 1: Okay, if we're.
Speaker 4: Really going to do this, Chris, you're going to take
Speaker 4: spin class, Kayla, you take Johnny's clients. Brian, that leaves
Speaker 4: you with group Fitness, but first you're with me.
Speaker 3: Valerie leads the brigade back inside. She snaps at one
Speaker 3: handy man struggling with the grand reopening sign.
Speaker 1: Can we put that up any faster? We are losing customers, Interior.
Speaker 1: You wait to give me a little more of a
Speaker 1: snap on that, a little more attitude on the customer line.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Can we put that up any faster?
Speaker 1: We're losing customers.
Speaker 3: Jury Way Interior Injury Way Day, Brian, Kayla, and Chris
Speaker 3: split off. Alexa heads toward the mailbox that Valerie beats
Speaker 3: her to it. Don't worry, I've got that.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Alexa proceeds to the front desk. Valerie flips through the
Speaker 3: mail invoice urgent overdue notice of default. Failure to play
Speaker 3: will result in foreclosure. She hides the letters in our papers.
Speaker 3: Atop her clipboard is a polaroid of young Valerie and
Speaker 3: her mother in front of the gym.
Speaker 1: Valerie smiles at the memory.
Speaker 5: Breaking news.
Speaker 3: The camera zooms in on a TV above the front desk.
Speaker 3: A cocky newscaster narrates footage of an FBI raate on
Speaker 3: the gym.
Speaker 1: Kick up. A cocky newscaster.
Speaker 3: Narrates footage of an FBI raid on the gym. A
Speaker 3: redneck man is arrested with an ostrich on a leash.
Speaker 5: Nelson Withers, the Flamingo King, was sentenced to five years
Speaker 5: today after a former employee testified that his business was
Speaker 5: a money laundry scheme for training exotic pets.
Speaker 1: Whithers was illegally housing and.
Speaker 5: Selling hundreds of birds, including a flock of penguins in
Speaker 5: the saltwater pool.
Speaker 3: Valerie stands between the camera and the TV.
Speaker 1: To obscure view.
Speaker 5: Tru we turn it off.
Speaker 1: I love snow interior front desk area, at same.
Speaker 3: Time as Alexa Crouch slams into the underside of the desk.
Speaker 1: She pops up and rubs her head.
Speaker 3: Alexa turns off the TV, then crawls back under the
Speaker 3: desk with her iPhone charger. She traces wires through the
Speaker 3: power strip.
Speaker 1: Wissy computer printer. She unplugs one and plugs her phone in.
Speaker 1: It's up. Hello, Alexa stands and hits her head with
Speaker 1: another smack.
Speaker 3: Shy spin client thirties grimaces. Alexa plasters on a smile.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, welcome to the gym. How can I help you?
Speaker 1: That's my best I know Heather Reader back in from
Speaker 1: Alexa stans yep.
Speaker 3: Alexa stands and hits her head with another smack. Shay
Speaker 3: spind client thirties grimaces. Alexa plasters on a smile.
Speaker 1: Hlly, Hello, Hello, welcome to the d y m. How
Speaker 1: can I help you?
Speaker 4: I'm here for a spin class. I got the by
Speaker 4: to get when tree deal.
Speaker 1: I think I'm bike number five or seven Alex.
Speaker 3: Alexa clicks on her point of service system but only
Speaker 3: gets error the system is down.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry my singy is it loading?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Here? Alexa pulls out a sheet of paper.
Speaker 4: If you put your name down, I'll check you in
Speaker 4: when the system's back up.
Speaker 1: Any bit should be fine.
Speaker 3: Shy spin client signs and wanders off. A tall man
Speaker 3: in a pinstripe suit. Real estate vulture approaches the desk
Speaker 3: with a briefcase and a shit eating grin.
Speaker 1: Hi, welcome to the gym.
Speaker 4: Are you here for our spin class promotion?
Speaker 3: From across the room, Valerie sees real estate Vulture lean
Speaker 3: in to talk to Alexa with a slick smile. Valerie
Speaker 3: charges over and shoes him out like a dog.
Speaker 4: This property is not for sale, buddy, not last week,
Speaker 4: not today, not next week, So make like MJ.
Speaker 1: Just beat it.
Speaker 3: Brian sees the exchange and rushes toward the front desk.
Speaker 1: Oh down, the point of service system isn't working.
Speaker 3: That's why they call it a POS.
Speaker 1: Alexa doesn't get it. Valerie breaks down.
Speaker 4: My god, I knew I should have upgraded that old thing.
Speaker 4: We're already behind schedule.
Speaker 6: We go breath, great, just skilled back skill, right.
Speaker 4: He says, relaxes. Frankie says, relax, relax, don't do it
Speaker 4: when you want to get to do it.
Speaker 6: I'm going to stop you right there, because you set
Speaker 6: up with the film crew and I'm right behind you.
Speaker 6: Alex just got this.
Speaker 1: Okay, call the service agentcy No, no, no, no, no, She's
Speaker 1: got it. Valerie paces towards the weight area.
Speaker 3: Once she's gone, You got this right, Alexa blinks at him.
Speaker 1: Don't don't, don't, don't run over the narration. Alexa blinks
Speaker 1: at him. She does not got this. Okay, how about
Speaker 1: you just called the it guys next door? Why are
Speaker 1: we calling the art guys?
Speaker 3: Kyles swoops in to hear the hot gossip. Chris follows
Speaker 3: behind her. He speaks in broken English with a finish
Speaker 3: accent I.
Speaker 1: The system is down. Brian pulls him into a huddle.
Speaker 1: All right, Sam, Johnny's out. The system is out. This
Speaker 1: place is the Titanic. Okay, we're Leo. We gotta keep
Speaker 1: Kate Aflip and Leo. We just have to supports out.
Speaker 6: The g y M needs this commercial, Kayla. It'll promote
Speaker 6: your instat Chris, you need this place to stay open
Speaker 6: for your visa.
Speaker 1: Being in a commercial would look great on my resume.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we'll see what we can do, and any issues
Speaker 6: come up, we handle them ourselves.
Speaker 2: Deal.
Speaker 1: Okay, come hands in g y N All three on.
Speaker 1: Brian leaves his hand down, Alexa puts hers on top.
Speaker 1: Chris is confused. Kayla rolls her eyes and walks away.
Speaker 1: What two Brian? He rushes off.
Speaker 3: Chris leaves Alexa is alone.
Speaker 1: Okay, he rushes off.
Speaker 3: Chris leaves Alexa is alone. Cameraman Sam twenties no nonsense,
Speaker 3: taps Alexa on the shoulder.
Speaker 1: Alexa smiles and presents herself to the camera. Hey, excuse me.
Speaker 1: What is g y M stand for? It stands for something.
Speaker 1: Interior Free Weights Area Day.
Speaker 3: Valerie watches Brian Flubb push up claps through a monitor.
Speaker 1: Brian, I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 4: I've only seen you land one of these, drunk off
Speaker 4: your ass at a gay bar.
Speaker 1: You No, I got this.
Speaker 2: I get this.
Speaker 4: I did like poor my internew for Solstice Jim that
Speaker 4: shall not be named, Oh, Group Fitness.
Speaker 6: Do we have a program written up?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: And the system Alexa. Call the company number right.
Speaker 3: Interior Front Desk day Wade, thirties people pleaser shuffles in
Speaker 3: the door with a messenger bag and his shirt buttons
Speaker 3: all the way to the top.
Speaker 1: Oh no, is it your NEMO? Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, Ti, I'm from Check.
Speaker 1: Why do we read?
Speaker 2: Can we read a bit?
Speaker 3: Interior Front Desk day Wade, thirties people pleaser shuffles in
Speaker 3: the door with a messenger bag and his shirt buttoned
Speaker 3: all the way to the top.
Speaker 2: I'm from tech Warrior. Uh next door?
Speaker 1: Thank god, the system is down. I can't log in.
Speaker 1: Nothing sloading.
Speaker 3: She turns the screen towards him and rapidly clicks refreshed.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, okay, yet, yes, that's all right. That
Speaker 1: doesn't help. Could be an issue with the server. Do
Speaker 1: you know where the box is? Kayla spots way from
Speaker 1: across the room and hurries over.
Speaker 4: I'll show you, I'll show you handsome.
Speaker 1: Interior free weights area Day.
Speaker 3: Brian cues for another push up, but sees Kayla leading
Speaker 3: Wade into the server closet.
Speaker 1: Valerie turns to follow.
Speaker 3: His gaze, but Brian fumbles a push up.
Speaker 1: Valerie helps him up. You're gonna break something. What's the
Speaker 1: matter with you?
Speaker 3: Kayla hurries, waiting to the closet, Valerie none the wiser.
Speaker 3: A TV above Brian displays a local news spotlight.
Speaker 1: All thanks down, that was the old and in what's
Speaker 1: the new? Luxury Joe Cha Solstice, It's opening up?
Speaker 5: Brand news?
Speaker 1: Locare this thing?
Speaker 4: Anyone?
Speaker 3: Interior Front Desk Day, White Trash Spin Diva fifties riftish
Speaker 3: sheet struts past Alexa without stopping.
Speaker 1: You know me, sweetheart Bike Chris approaches the desk class food.
Speaker 1: Huh how we have ten people only night and bike's working?
Speaker 1: Johnny brooklue this morning? Shoot Fike number one just got here.
Speaker 3: They share a look and run Interior Cycling Studio Day,
Speaker 3: Chris and Alexa around the corner, just as White Trash
Speaker 3: Spin Diva notices shy spin client.
Speaker 1: On Bike one. Who the hell do you think you are?
Speaker 1: Shoot Love Cool Interior Free Weights Area Day.
Speaker 3: Brian finally lands a perfect clap push up when.
Speaker 1: Number one since Richard Simmons was sweating too. The oldie
Speaker 1: white dressed spin Diva Chase's sy stink.
Speaker 3: Client out the front door, ruining Valerie shot interior Front
Speaker 3: Desk Day.
Speaker 1: Valerie confronts Alexa. Brian hot at her heel. What is
Speaker 1: going on? Brian grimaces and gives it a cut it
Speaker 1: out motion? Geeze us upset. We didn't want to be
Speaker 1: on the list. The class is fall because of the promotion?
Speaker 4: Are you on something?
Speaker 2: Bright?
Speaker 1: Commercial blares on the TV above the front.
Speaker 3: Desk sleek aesthetics, modern machines, sexy fitness trainers.
Speaker 5: Now here you want to get fit? Your first is Free.
Speaker 1: Valerie slaps the off button.
Speaker 3: All TVs are conspicuously off for the rest of the episode.
Speaker 1: We get the TV commercial again, and while you do it,
Speaker 1: I'd like to get some you know reactions, you know,
Speaker 1: booze hissess that commercial place? Okay, So we'll read it
Speaker 1: and you can do a radiover the commercial.
Speaker 2: Stupid is Free.
Speaker 1: Valerie slaps the off button.
Speaker 3: All TVs are conspicuously off for the rest of the episode.
Speaker 1: End of back one, Yeah, pitch up.
Speaker 3: Okay, Now pretend you're all listening the next week in
Speaker 3: your car