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Speaker 1: Nicky Nikki here, I am. What's up, guys? Good morning,

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Speaker 1: good afternoon, good night, good night. No one says good

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Speaker 1: night as a greeting. You could say good morning, you

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Speaker 1: could say good afternoon. You say good night to someone

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Speaker 1: that means you're leaving. M really really uh interesting thoughts

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Speaker 1: right out of the gate for Old Glaze Dog Wait,

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Speaker 1: is the song like taking on a Does it go

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Speaker 1: into like a new part? What am I hearing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's like a whole song. Oh, it just keeps going

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Speaker 1: and going. Let's just have the whole episode. Happy Labor

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Speaker 1: Day everyone, How are you feeling out there? Snuck up

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Speaker 1: on me? I'll tell you that holidays don't register for

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Speaker 1: me unless it's like Christmas like these like um extended

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Speaker 1: weekend ones, because you know, I've never had a job

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Speaker 1: that like takes off weekends anyway, so it doesn't really compute.

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Speaker 1: But I do get to go have lunch with my

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Speaker 1: sister today after this show, which is a treat. She's pregnant,

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Speaker 1: she has two small children. She's a teacher, and um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I'm looking forward to that. It's like, yeah, we

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Speaker 1: haven't talked in so long. I recently gave her a

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Speaker 1: book that is opening her mind to things that I've

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Speaker 1: been like on board with for a while. I told

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Speaker 1: you about this book. It's called Running on Empty. It's

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Speaker 1: for anyone who has um good parents, like parents that

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Speaker 1: you're like, wow, on paper, they're pretty deece, like no complaints.

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Speaker 1: I mean here and there there's obnoxious things, but like

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Speaker 1: why am I so jacked up? And um, it just

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Speaker 1: talks about It's called emotional um fuck neglect. And everyone

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Speaker 1: does it to their kids, no matter how good of

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Speaker 1: a parent you are, So it kind of gives them.

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Speaker 1: It gives any parent, even with the ones that are

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Speaker 1: listening maybe to this podcast and out, and it really

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Speaker 1: helps you like empathize with yourself and with your parents

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Speaker 1: in the situation and realize that you will do it too.

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Speaker 1: So I gave it to my sister to be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: read this because you're for your own kids and for yourself,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like parents always feel like I'm sucking

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Speaker 1: on my kid this one thing I did, And it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're right, you are sucking up your kids because of

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Speaker 1: that one thing you did that you couldn't help doing,

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Speaker 1: that was a product of you being distracted by your phone,

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Speaker 1: not addressing their feelings in the moment, like those little

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Speaker 1: infractions do lead to stuff down the road, but you

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Speaker 1: can't help it. You're not a bad person. It happened

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Speaker 1: to you, So it's, uh, it's interesting. So I gave

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Speaker 1: you this book, and she's just kind of like she's

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Speaker 1: finally talking a language that I've been wanting to talk

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Speaker 1: with anyone in my family for a while, like I would.

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Speaker 1: I have been going to therapy forever, and she never

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Speaker 1: really has because she just didn't really need to. I

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Speaker 1: don't think there was never any like a dire situation

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Speaker 1: for her. But now she's reading this book and she's

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Speaker 1: very smart, and so she's just being able to pick

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Speaker 1: up on stuff that she's like, Oh so this that

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Speaker 1: like she's just the other night she called me to

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Speaker 1: be like this book is wild, Like it's opening my mind.

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Speaker 1: I was like, welcome to the club. Let's do a

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Speaker 1: book club where we talk about mom and dad um

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Speaker 1: in a loving way. That's the thing. It's like, I

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Speaker 1: don't I'm not even scared about if they heard this,

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Speaker 1: because this book like helps you feel good about everything

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Speaker 1: that happened and forgive yourself because I don't know, I've

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Speaker 1: talked about it before, but in case you didn't, if

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that this is repetitive or redundant, or if

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Speaker 1: that sentence was, which it definitely was, I'm sorry if

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Speaker 1: I'm saying this again and it's redundant how I wrote, UM,

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Speaker 1: but it's just about how a lot of kids that

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Speaker 1: did that came from quote unquote good families. UM. When

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Speaker 1: they get pucked up, they blame themselves because they go nothing,

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Speaker 1: I can't point to anything. But the thing is you

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Speaker 1: can point to things you just don't know it, and

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Speaker 1: this book teaches you what to point at and go

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Speaker 1: it's your fault, not mine. That's what therapy is. Why

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Speaker 1: doesn't anyone want to go to therapy? It honestly lets

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Speaker 1: you off the hook for stuff that you are ashamed about.

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Speaker 1: That's what therapy is. For everyone who's like scared of it.

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Speaker 1: It's awesome. It teaches you to blame your parents, and

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Speaker 1: then you feel like a little bit like okay, and

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Speaker 1: then you learned that it's not even their fault that

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Speaker 1: they did that, and then you blame their parents and

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Speaker 1: it just keeps going down until your whole family tree

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Speaker 1: is a just needs to be chopped down and you go,

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Speaker 1: let's just end the cycle. But that's the thing. You

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Speaker 1: end the cycle because you just keep doing the same

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Speaker 1: things insidiously. Which I use that word a lot, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure that it's even appropriate here, but it's

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Speaker 1: like when you in ways that are not perceptible or

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Speaker 1: maybe that you don't even know, you just continue doing

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Speaker 1: these things because they feel good. I have a friend

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Speaker 1: who like grew up just never feeling like I grew

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Speaker 1: up in a family of like two different families that

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Speaker 1: like parents remarried, and like he was the only product

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Speaker 1: of this couple and then that couple went off to

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Speaker 1: have kids, and so just he never felt like he

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Speaker 1: belonged anywhere and like always felt like an outsider kind of.

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Speaker 1: And man, if this guy didn't like perfectly construct a

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Speaker 1: relationship to mimic that exact situation where it's like and

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Speaker 1: it's it's almost like they they went to a they

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Speaker 1: planned it out and got like blueprints and we're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to exactly replicate this, but they didn't even

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Speaker 1: have to. It's just subconscious. It's very interesting. I love

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Speaker 1: this stuff. I told my parents yesterday, I want to

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Speaker 1: go back to school and like learn more I mean,

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Speaker 1: I guess I could just read books, but I feel

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Speaker 1: like I want some sort of degree or some thing,

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Speaker 1: because you know these like armchair therapists that don't really

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Speaker 1: have the credentials. I don't want to be like a

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Speaker 1: life coach, but I do love this stuff, and I

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Speaker 1: feel like, I don't know, most days, not today, I'm

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Speaker 1: a little bit all over the place, but most days

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Speaker 1: I feel like I can kind of read this stuff

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Speaker 1: and synthesize it and then kind of maybe twisted and

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Speaker 1: put into Layman's terms and or a way that makes

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Speaker 1: people able to grasp it more. I don't know. Some

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Speaker 1: people told me that last week, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's my talent um. So I don't know. I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: about going and taking classes or like going for some degree. Know,

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Speaker 1: how long does it take to get like a master's

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Speaker 1: in like a master's like, Like I I honestly would

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Speaker 1: want to get like a a like because that's when

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Speaker 1: people start like, um calling this they talk to you

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Speaker 1: in master mode. Like that's when people start treating you like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she knows what she's talking about, because you're like, well,

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Speaker 1: I have a master's in this, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: You have like light years or something. Funk. Really, what

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Speaker 1: if I have a bachelor's of nothing? Yeah, you already

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Speaker 1: have your bachelor's another four years and my bachelor's in

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Speaker 1: like English Lit or some bullshit. I don't even know,

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Speaker 1: to be honest with you, So then I do I

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Speaker 1: have four years already? Uh? Well, masters, it's like a

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Speaker 1: it's like a focus. I don't have a master's and

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Speaker 1: telling me how masters work. It's like a focus. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So I feel like I just don't want to write

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Speaker 1: a like a thirty page paper, you know what. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going back to school. You know. The last

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Speaker 1: day I turned into fucking essay was a great day

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Speaker 1: in my life where it was like, this is the

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Speaker 1: last time I'm going to use Courier font new to

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Speaker 1: stretch out these words double space, um it. I was

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Speaker 1: like I remember. And when they would go, oh, it

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Speaker 1: needs to be two to three pages, do you remember

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Speaker 1: what the essay was or the class it was? You know,

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Speaker 1: it was some like um, you know Chaucer or uh

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Speaker 1: Elizabeth Bennett Waite, who is that? That's from Pride and Prejudice?

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Speaker 1: It was like Jane Austin. It was some class of

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Speaker 1: like classical literature. That um or it was just some

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Speaker 1: bullshit class that I didn't want. I really do forget,

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Speaker 1: but I was so good at just being like the

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Speaker 1: concepts in this book reflect the author's own life struggles

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Speaker 1: and this character, and I would just bullshit my way

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Speaker 1: through it. I did barely graduate, though, because I was

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Speaker 1: taking an extracurricular to fill out some credits. It was guitar. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, ironically enough, which is my passion now. Um,

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Speaker 1: but I was in a guitar class with a bunch

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Speaker 1: of freshmen. I was a senior because I needed this

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Speaker 1: credit and I just needed a D. I just needed

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Speaker 1: to pass. It was like past fail And I got

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Speaker 1: a D in guitar because I was not even going.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't because I was like terrible. It wasn't even trying.

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Speaker 1: And um, if I would have gotten an F, I

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Speaker 1: would have not graduated. But I got that D. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I got those d s and uh and got through it.

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Speaker 1: But I just I just remember the last time I

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Speaker 1: had to like I don't even remember what it was,

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Speaker 1: but the last time I turned in something, the last

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Speaker 1: time my baby sat, like the last time I had

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Speaker 1: like a job that I didn't want. I remember all

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Speaker 1: those moments and I don't want to go back to that,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know, it could be a cool challenge. Um,

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Speaker 1: maybe I should just read more books. And the thing is,

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Speaker 1: people don't even need credentials. I went to a crazy

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Speaker 1: therapist who I truly don't even know if she was

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Speaker 1: accredited or had any kind of training, and I went

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Speaker 1: to her for years and gave her so much money,

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Speaker 1: cash under the table, and you know, And not that

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Speaker 1: I want to be that kind of therapist or you know,

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Speaker 1: but I was thinking of, you know, the more I'm

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Speaker 1: on stage doing stand up, I'm just like, God, why

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Speaker 1: does everything have to be funny? Like sometimes I just

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Speaker 1: have an interesting thing to say, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: it to be like let him you know, Like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I like comedy, but sometimes I'm like, what is this saying?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I get people like escape and they laugh

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Speaker 1: and stuff, but I'm just getting kind of like I

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Speaker 1: know how to do that. I just sometimes I'm up

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Speaker 1: there and I'm like, wait, I want to tell you

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Speaker 1: about this really cool thing I know that like might

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Speaker 1: help your relationship. I'm like, I'm I'm tempted to do

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Speaker 1: like self help, like Burnee Brown. And then I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about it, and I was like, Burnee Brown's like

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Speaker 1: Netflix special, comedy special. She had comedy it, by the way,

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Speaker 1: and the bar is so low for self help people

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Speaker 1: to be funny. They say like one thing, like and

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Speaker 1: then my husband and my husband and I have never

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Speaker 1: been closer. I mean, he still doesn't do the dishes,

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Speaker 1: and people are like, oh my god, she they lose

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Speaker 1: that they're growing in the aisles, like you're the funniest ever.

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Speaker 1: Burnee Brown actually is funny, But you know, why does

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Speaker 1: everything have to be? I just feel like once you're

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Speaker 1: a comedian, you're like you have to do comedy or

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Speaker 1: you like get out, Like why can't it kind of Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm saying. I just there are

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Speaker 1: times when I'm on stage and I'm like, funk, I

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Speaker 1: don't have a punch line for this, but I really

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Speaker 1: want to say this because it might like make someone's

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Speaker 1: life better, and um, and I'm allowed to do that,

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Speaker 1: by the way. Like I just my dad, I was

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Speaker 1: telling my parents said yesterday and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: think my first foray into self help is going to

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Speaker 1: be like my book. I think I want to try to,

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Speaker 1: you know, hit that kind of tone in between comedy

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Speaker 1: and self help or what I've learned. And and by

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Speaker 1: the way, it doesn't mean in my life has to

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Speaker 1: be perfect if we all went to therapists whose lives

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Speaker 1: were perfect, well we all think we do, but let

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Speaker 1: me just be honest with you. I have a lot

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Speaker 1: of friends whose parents are therapists and their parents are terrible.

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Speaker 1: And some people know better than they act. You know,

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Speaker 1: we all we all know that you can give better

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Speaker 1: advice than you actually treat yourself. So I told my parents.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I think this book is going to

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Speaker 1: be my first foray into like entering self help genre.

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Speaker 1: And my dad was like, I'm still can be funny, right,

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Speaker 1: just like they picked me up from the airport yesterday

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Speaker 1: and I was on the spield about like I don't

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Speaker 1: know stand ups, not just like doing it for me anymore.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to make like fart jokes every like

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Speaker 1: I just hate that everything has to have a joke

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Speaker 1: or then people are like it wasn't funny, and it's like,

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Speaker 1: can't it just be interesting? But I get it, Like

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Speaker 1: people want to go see a comedy show, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to deliver comedy. Don't worry, It's just like sometimes comedy

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Speaker 1: doesn't like change people's lives. And I know you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to see comedy. Do you get my

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Speaker 1: life changed? Well? Anyway, I said that to my Daddy's like,

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Speaker 1: so your book is going to be just like it's

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Speaker 1: not gonna it's not gonna be funny. And I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: do you think that I would do anything that wasn't funny?

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Speaker 1: Like do you think that I'm ever going to not

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Speaker 1: be funny? Like even when I'm talking about wanting to

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Speaker 1: kill myself, I'm still funny, or like you know, there's

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Speaker 1: always of course it is. I don't know why I

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Speaker 1: tell my parents things. Do you guys do this too?

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Speaker 1: I think like everyone does this. You tell your parents

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Speaker 1: something that you know they're not going to have the

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Speaker 1: response you want. What are you looking for? It's almost

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Speaker 1: like you're like, like, you know, baiting them to upset

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Speaker 1: you or say the wrong thing so that you can

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Speaker 1: be justified. Like I think I do that sometimes where

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Speaker 1: I'm like I'm just I say things and I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I wanted. I actually I wanted them to

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Speaker 1: be like that's really cool, Nick, We're really excited for you,

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Speaker 1: instead of like, well, you're so You're just not gonna

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Speaker 1: be funny anymore. It's like, well, I didn't say that,

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Speaker 1: you they Sometimes I just think my dad and my

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Speaker 1: mom think that I make terrible decisions with my career,

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Speaker 1: like I am going to just one day do self

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Speaker 1: help porn or something like the worst thing I could do,

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Speaker 1: like that, I'm just gonna Does someone ever ask you

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Speaker 1: a question? You go, do you know me? Do you

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Speaker 1: think I'm where? You go? You do? We're talking about

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Speaker 1: this um one of the first episodes when someone gives

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Speaker 1: you a gift and you go, we can't be friends

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Speaker 1: anymore because you think I would want this, or you

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Speaker 1: think I would enjoy this, or someone suggests a movie

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Speaker 1: that you would like or a book, and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I thought this person knew me. And that's sometimes when

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Speaker 1: my parents asked me something so nicker. You just like, so,

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Speaker 1: you're never gonna brush your hair again, and just like

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Speaker 1: or so you just don't, uh, you're never gonna If

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Speaker 1: I'm bitching about like makeup and being a woman and

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Speaker 1: how I resent it, and you know, you know this

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Speaker 1: is back in the day when I was pitching about

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Speaker 1: you know, the just the expectations for women and I

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Speaker 1: was frustrated by it. They'd be like, well, so you're

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Speaker 1: just not gonna brush your You're just gonna shave your

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Speaker 1: head and uh, you know, have everyone call you Nicholas,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like, no, that would be very out

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Speaker 1: of left field. I hope that if you thought that

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Speaker 1: about me, you would tell you would maybe like confront

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Speaker 1: me before now, you know. That's the thing. I think

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Speaker 1: that's the thing that I get really upset about. Do

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Speaker 1: you guys have this thing too, where you you get

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Speaker 1: really upset when people they confront you about something in

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Speaker 1: a way like that You're having a conversation and they go,

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Speaker 1: so you're just gonna shave your head and give up

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Speaker 1: your life and move to the woods, and you go,

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Speaker 1: if you thought, if you actually thought I was gonna

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Speaker 1: do that, why didn't you talk to me sooner? And

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Speaker 1: I think it stems from when I was, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: had a disease that no one would tell me that

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Speaker 1: I had, even though I kind of knew I had

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Speaker 1: it but didn't know it was a disease. I thought

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Speaker 1: I was like doing it myself secretly, but it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, slowly killing me. Everyone was whispering behind my back,

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Speaker 1: and no one told me until it was taken away

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Speaker 1: by the fucking state. Um, and that bothers me when

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Speaker 1: you know there's that's I'm super paranoid about that. That's why,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to references ever too much.

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Speaker 1: But the Reddit thing bothered me because from last two

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, because it seemed like there was this like

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Speaker 1: elephant in the room that everyone else is talking about

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Speaker 1: me and the people closest to me aren't saying anything.

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Speaker 1: And that's but that wasn't the case, you know, And

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Speaker 1: that bothers me is like when people don't have the

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Speaker 1: balls to like be worried about you to your face.

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Speaker 1: I know it's scary. I've been worried about friends and

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Speaker 1: like not said anything because I'm and a lot of times,

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Speaker 1: especially addicts or whatever, they do not respond. Well, we've

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Speaker 1: all seen intervention. But that's that people talking about me

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Speaker 1: behind my back, not in a negative way. I don't

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Speaker 1: care if people are like Nikki like is annoying, or

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Speaker 1: Nikki is thirsty, or Nikki is loud and mean, like

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Speaker 1: I can handle that. Yes, I agree with all of

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Speaker 1: those things, but a mental instability where you think I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna like hurt myself or someone. Why would you keep

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Speaker 1: that inside? That bothers me and it makes me feel

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Speaker 1: like everyone just thinks I'm crazy and that I might

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Speaker 1: be crazy, because that's the big fear when you start

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Speaker 1: to lose your mind, as like an old person, you know,

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Speaker 1: when people are like we gotta take away Grandma's car keys,

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Speaker 1: Like grandma doesn't know. Bring grandma into those discussions. She's

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Speaker 1: not gonna remember it. She's gonna forget about in two seconds.

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Speaker 1: But like that, whispering and worrying about someone behind their

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Speaker 1: back for ages until the state gets involved, because you're

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Speaker 1: too much of a pussy to confront someone you love.

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Speaker 1: I can't tolerate that. Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe I've done

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Speaker 1: this in my past. Probably This was a long and

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Speaker 1: winding road to bringing in Andrew, who is in Chicago.

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Speaker 1: He got off the plane yesterday. We flew back from Wisconsin.

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Speaker 1: I did a casino there on Saturday night with Andrew

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Speaker 1: and Maddie Weener, who is hilarious twenty two year old

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Speaker 1: comedian who is so funny that it's like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was kind of seeing Maddie that I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to I can't do this any like

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Speaker 1: her jokes are. It's so dense of jokes. It's like

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Speaker 1: the way I used to really enjoy writing and sitting

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Speaker 1: down and being like, how many jokes can I get

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Speaker 1: out of this? And it's not I can do that.

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Speaker 1: I just don't. Really, I will do it because that's

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Speaker 1: what people want from me. I don't get the same

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Speaker 1: joy from it, you know. She really it's just fantastic.

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Speaker 1: And watching her, you know, I like, I asked her

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Speaker 1: to open for me because I saw her um just

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Speaker 1: for laugh set and she's twenty two, and I was

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Speaker 1: so impressed that I go, I gotta bring this bitch

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Speaker 1: on the road because I need to step up my game.

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Speaker 1: I like having people in front of me that do

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Speaker 1: extraordinarily well that people can compare me too, so that

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Speaker 1: then I get competitive and it makes me work harder,

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Speaker 1: if that makes sense. But if anything, it didn't make

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Speaker 1: me competitive. I was like, baby bird, you go fly.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go burn a brown out over here, and

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Speaker 1: maybe I'll see you there when you turn thirty seven.

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Speaker 1: And the entire of making jokes about things that don't matter, actually,

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Speaker 1: Maddie actually talks about things that that matter. She has

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Speaker 1: a great joke about about the body positive movement and

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Speaker 1: how she's like, you know, all these like girls are

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. They're bigger girls, and they're like it's like

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Speaker 1: being fat is amazing and it's it's great and look

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Speaker 1: at it. She's like, but they're all hot, Like they're

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Speaker 1: all hot. She was like, I want to see buddy

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Speaker 1: buzz a movement for like poor fat, like that just

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Speaker 1: fat all in the shoulders, like Walmart fat. Like these

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Speaker 1: girls look like just like a hot girl ate a

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Speaker 1: Mario mushroom. There's like they're taught. You could like throw

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Speaker 1: a penny at them and they're it just pops right off.

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Speaker 1: And it's just so her deconstruct and of that um

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Speaker 1: topic is fascinating and kind of what I've I've been

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Speaker 1: kind of circling around. And I love when there's like

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Speaker 1: a topic that I'm like, Yeah, why do we like Adele?

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Speaker 1: We like because she's we go, oh, she's bigger and

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Speaker 1: she's beautiful a Lizzo. These women are like proportionately like

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Speaker 1: bigger women that were just like yes, but like there's

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Speaker 1: a different kind of and I can't say this as

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Speaker 1: a a twiggy bitch. I'm trying to lanky a bitch.

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm just saying I hate when people uplift

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Speaker 1: a certain thing and go it's okay, We're fine with it.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, you can only give me two examples

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Speaker 1: of when it's okay. And the only the only reason

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00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 1: that we really embrace them is not because we're like,

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00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 1: they're beautiful. It's either they're model beautiful or they're super talented.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise if you're if you're fat, we got to see

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Speaker 1: a talent out of you, otherwise it's going to be

385
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Speaker 1: a problem. And give me an example of when that's

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Speaker 1: not real? And and um, and I mean, I guess

387
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 1: that's true for anyone, even hot models were like, can

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Speaker 1: you do anything else? No, that's not true. Actually, models

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00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: we just except for what they are. So I don't know.

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00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 1: I rest my case. Andrew Hey, Andrew, Hey, what's going

391
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Speaker 1: on over there? St? Louis down there holding down the fort?

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Speaker 1: Uh enjoying um, just you know, having the place to

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Speaker 1: to himself a little bit. It's always nice. I'm sure

394
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,159
Speaker 1: you enjoy it too. How chakak's you racking out in

395
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Speaker 1: the living room? Do you do you? How full of

396
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 1: a show do you do knowing that I'm not there.

397
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: Do you like set up like stuff to animals for

398
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Speaker 1: an audience? You know, I just do like more like

399
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 1: vocal things, you know, like when I when I'm trying

400
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 1: to find my voice. It's it's embarrassing to be like

401
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 1: at Eddie Vetter, Like I always give that example, like

402
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: how does he have the respect of his friends when

403
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 1: he talks like this? Know, we probably talk and he

404
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 1: goes horror horroror like he'll be backstage talking to his

405
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,120
Speaker 1: friends and then he goes out there and or you know,

406
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 1: any artist who puts on an an effect effect. It's

407
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: just you know, we have certain comedian friends of ours

408
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: that talk normally to us at the table at the

409
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: comedy sellar, and then you go walk downstairs two seconds

410
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 1: later and they get on stage and it's like this

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00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: weird voice and they're not doing a character. And then

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00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 1: they get off stage and you just go, are we

413
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: gonna talk about how you just changed? Um? And it

414
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 1: helps it suits them, it's like as part of their act.

415
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 1: But I'm really embarrassed when I try to sound like

416
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: beautiful or cool. And so last night I was recording

417
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: a song for a friend to send them and I'm

418
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: more comfortable like being with a voice and like trying

419
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: out things than I am around you. So I got

420
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:02,120
Speaker 1: something so funny about like thinking about like the coolest

421
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 1: rock stars, like Kurt Cobain doing like do rey me,

422
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 1: you know, to get his voice ready, like yeah, trails

423
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:22,239
Speaker 1: like yeah, like me, like kurtin in the corner of

424
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: like a like I used to have to do all

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00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 1: these like mom muster man, my mom and my mom,

426
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: like and he's just like snorting coke or whatever the

427
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: funk he did. That's so funny. I don't think they

428
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: did do that. I can't believe people smoked cigarettes as

429
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: much as they did in the seventies. I mean, like

430
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 1: the seventies, like now even sometimes they see singers, you know,

431
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: paparazzi shots and I'm like, what the funk are you doing?

432
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 1: J Lo doesn't drink coffee, she doesn't um drink alcohol.

433
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 1: Mariah Carey is the same way. Nothing that would like

434
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: affect her voice. And that's that's what makes me so

435
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: mad about not getting into singing earlier and not being

436
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,159
Speaker 1: like that's my passion, because if I would have, I

437
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,199
Speaker 1: was so obsessed with becoming what I needed, doing what

438
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: I needed to do to get as far as I

439
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: needed to go. That I would have never drank, I

440
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 1: would have never smoked, because those things would have hurt

441
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: my career, whereas in comedy they'd help you and they're encouraged.

442
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 1: So I truly, the second any of those things started

443
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 1: affecting my career, I quit, like I I've that's not

444
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 1: before they affected my relationships and my well being as

445
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: like a human, my career, that's when I quit them.

446
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: So but those things I had to get so bad

447
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: in order for them to impede comedy, because comedy is

448
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: based on just like just you know, the dregs of society,

449
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 1: like the more you drink, like bringing a beer on stage,

450
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: smoking like you're cool, you're like offbeat, your undress Thompson like.

451
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, I guess that stuff is associated

452
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 1: with rock and roll as well. But I just feel

453
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: like if I would have gone to a vocal coach,

454
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: the one that told my mom I didn't have it,

455
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 1: she might have said, the worst thing you can do

456
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 1: is drink anything that isn't water and or tea, And

457
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: so I just only done that. What kind of art

458
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: is you're going to be? You know? But even I

459
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: would have got to wait to out heal my pain.

460
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 1: Though with something else, I would have cut my I

461
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: would have found something that would have been harmful, because well,

462
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 1: pop stars, even like the funnest pop stars, still can

463
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: have a horrible drug addiction. And I would have just

464
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 1: shot things up. I wouldn't have done things that affected

465
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: my voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you've been shooting

466
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 1: heroin in your toes, but you'd have been singing like

467
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 1: a champ. Yeah, my voice would have been crystal clear.

468
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: That's the truth, though, dude. It's like, I think people

469
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: don't realize that. They're like, oh, I'm gonna quit, like

470
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: when you quit drinking. Let's say, right like you it's

471
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 1: been almost three how many three or four years? Years

472
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 1: in December? Three years in December, um, which is incredible,

473
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: And but don't you feel like did it go somewhere else?

474
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't just go away. The thing that you

475
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: were using to mute the feelings has to go somewhere else.

476
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: Or did feelings come up in a way that you

477
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 1: needed to get on zoloft? I mean, were those pretty

478
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:20,919
Speaker 1: much over? Like yeah, the second part yet replaced the

479
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 1: anxiety that led to drinking or or or made the

480
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 1: anxiety lest that led to drinking. So the alcohol was

481
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: doing what zoloft now does, but in a much messier way,

482
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 1: much messier way, which would make it worse. The next

483
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 1: day or the next week, you're get a hangover from

484
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: zoloft that makes you feel even more anxious. That's what

485
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 1: people don't understand about addictions. It's like it's the thing

486
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,719
Speaker 1: that's the withdrawal, and the guilt and the everything that

487
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 1: falls after the thing you do that's quotea bad is

488
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,199
Speaker 1: what leads you to do more. So you're trying to

489
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: you're trying to um stop withdrawal symptoms, which, like you know,

490
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: in terms of pot, which I've recently let go of

491
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: in my life, the withdrawal symptoms are minor for me

492
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: with pot. Luckily there's a lot of people I hear

493
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: on the subreddit leaves struggle way more with it. But

494
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: there's a little bit anxiety the first couple of days

495
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: of like I would just have a feeling when I

496
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: would usually reach for a bowl and smoke it and

497
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: instead of that, I would just like that. That anxiety

498
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 1: was the withdrawal symptom of like I need weed, Like

499
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 1: what are you what are you what do you think

500
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: you're substituting? Right, It's so funny like as soon as

501
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,959
Speaker 1: weed went away, and I wasn't exercising at all before

502
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: at all, and now but that makes me feel good

503
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: because now exercise for me is a stress relief. It

504
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: isn't like I need to burn calories. You know. It's interesting.

505
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 1: I remember you telling me, you know, I was doing

506
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 1: all those classes and working out and and like I

507
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 1: would be looking at my body in the mirror and

508
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: stuff like in in Cayman and so focused on like

509
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: my abs and whatever like, and it came and you

510
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 1: were really like out and you would tell me, you go,

511
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: like you know you're gonna overdo it whatever, like and

512
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 1: when you're in it, you don't really realize it. But

513
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: now when I'm playing golf and it is an exercise

514
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: when I'm hitting four balls, it's great for your abs.

515
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: It's a great meditative thing. Like it's such a different

516
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: way of exercising and looking at sports and like a

517
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 1: healthier way. I even looked in the mirror at like

518
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: my body and so like like trying to like because

519
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: with your golf club, I grew my body hair out,

520
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: I grew my chest hair out again. Yeah, I think

521
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: it becomes so you become obsessed with Yeah, you become

522
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 1: with yourself, obsessed with your self image, and it becomes

523
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: like you're worth whereas now with golf, like and those

524
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: classes don't lead to like I guess you could see

525
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: progress in those classes. I mean some of them have

526
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: stats on the board and so you're chasing a number

527
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 1: or you're like, have goals, but for you, go for you,

528
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 1: golf is the goal. It's not the body. The body

529
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: is a the fitness and the way you feel physically

530
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: is comes from the thing that you enjoy. So when

531
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: people are just doing classes for the body, which by

532
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: the way, you can have goals for your body. Like

533
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: some people are models. Some people like need to have

534
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: their bodies in a certain way for their job or

535
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,239
Speaker 1: for like what they want to do with it. But

536
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: you and I don't need to be to look anyway like,

537
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: there's no We just need to be healthy and feel good.

538
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: That's really it. And that's anyone who loves us and

539
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: is going to love us forever. Yes, certainly they want

540
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: to be sexually attracted to us, but you know, as

541
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: long as we don't let ourselves go in a terrible way,

542
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: which would indicate that we were unhappy. In other ways,

543
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: people are gonna We're gonna be fine. So like, yeah,

544
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: for me, when when we'd stopped and I was inspired

545
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: to run, I was like, oh, that's such a good

546
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: sign that running for me isn't something I have to

547
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: be scared to you, because I used to think it

548
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 1: was like an eating disorder compulsion, which it was for

549
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: me a while. It was like, Okay, I can't eat

550
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: tonight unless I run four miles today. And now I

551
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: just run four miles because that's the amount that makes

552
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: me sweat in a good way. It gets my It's

553
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: long enough that I enter a zone of like not

554
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: even remembering I'm running um, and I just I like

555
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: it and I don't feel It's like in high school

556
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: when when I played football and stuff, I wasn't. I

557
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: wasn't playing football to look jacked or look good like.

558
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: I just was doing it because I loved football. And

559
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: you forget, like the older you get, you don't get

560
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: that passion of a sport to like, you know, jiu jitsu.

561
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: I know, Noah does that, Like you're learning a sport

562
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 1: which happens to make your body look pretty good, you

563
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like your body is the second

564
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: layer of the of your passion, which it changes the

565
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: way you look at at a fitness and why you're

566
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: doing it as opposed like classes, I don't want to,

567
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: Like some people really enjoy those classes, the social aspect,

568
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: the challenges, like I don't want to. You know, there's

569
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,200
Speaker 1: always a place for that stuff. But I never want

570
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,719
Speaker 1: to work out because I have to again, like I understand,

571
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: I can always find a way to make it enjoyable,

572
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: whether it's a walk with my dog that is almost meditative,

573
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: where I listen to a podcast I really like, or

574
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 1: you know, if you if you stop working out, someone

575
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: listening is like addicted to working out. If you stop

576
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: and like recalibrate, you don't worry you'll want to work

577
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: out again. In a way that's like I need to

578
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 1: just move my body. It's not like I need to

579
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: burn calories. I need to get my steps in. My

580
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: ass needs to be this big for someone to love me.

581
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: It's like, No, I saw a girl with amazing ask

582
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 1: this morning and I was just like my neck almost

583
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: snapped off because I was just like, wow, it was

584
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: so perfect, and you know, and it wasn't our way

585
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: of like I want my face in it. It was like, man,

586
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: I would love to have that ask for a day

587
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: and just see what I could do with it, you know, um,

588
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: but it's never it would I could do with it.

589
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: I would just walk around. I would probably put a

590
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: camera above it to see how many stairs I get

591
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: and like, or just walk around and see, like what

592
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: if how men look at me differently? Like what the

593
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: perception is like Because a girl with a fantastic body

594
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: and tight clothes is getting treated subconsciously, she'll she'll notice

595
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: little things that men and women do. I mean even

596
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 1: me and my daughter. Luigi was like, like it would

597
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: be fun to just to like fall from like four

598
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,479
Speaker 1: ft just to lay in on a nice, nice thick as.

599
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. It's painful for me at times

600
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: to sit on things that don't have cushions because I

601
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 1: don't have any cushion back there. But you know what,

602
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 1: I love my ass and I I just don't I

603
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 1: don't need to have that ask. That girl is probably

604
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: a fitness model or something and and needs that for

605
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: her career. If comedy suddenly or you know, I was

606
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 1: talking about getting into self help work. If someone is like,

607
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: we need for you to write a self burnet Brown's

608
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: at like you need a burnee brown house, I would

609
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: like find a way to get that so that I

610
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: could get that because I want to do that work,

611
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: or I want to make that kind of money, whatever

612
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: it is the inspiration. But to have an ass too, uh,

613
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: that that you think is going to be the answer

614
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: to your happiness, which, by the way, I still don't

615
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: know what makes me happy. I'm still, you know, aiming

616
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: towards all these things that once I get there, I go, well,

617
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 1: this didn't make me happy, So maybe a good ass

618
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: and a plates body will make you happy, and that's

619
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: going to be the solution. Why don't we get this?

620
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: Why don't we Why don't we make a little ass

621
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: suit for you and you walk around. I have had

622
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: one before when I was something. No, it was my

623
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: most I think this is my most embarrassing moment. Now

624
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:57,479
Speaker 1: that I repressed it, I oh god, I don't mean

625
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: to be like when I was intirectic, but it was

626
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: a moment in my life. I had stuff. No, yes,

627
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: but listen, stop, sorry, dude, Okay, we have to get

628
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: to the news. I don't think they've died for the story,

629
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: don't you dare do? No? Okay, well, this is really gross.

630
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: I don't want every I want everyone to be ready

631
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: for this, and this is very vulnerable for me. But

632
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: this is just true. And I think I've said this

633
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 1: before on something because okay, so when you were really

634
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 1: really thin, um, well for me at least, I already

635
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: don't have an ass but when you really have nobody fed,

636
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: I had like just none, like bones, like if you've

637
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: seen Holocaust pictures. And I don't mean to take it

638
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: to this, but I'm not kidding you. I did look

639
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: like when I was naked and I would look in

640
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: the mirror, it looked like when you see pictures of

641
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: like the Holocaust, like like the final days or when

642
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: they were finally for ead and they're all naked, you know,

643
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: and you can kind of see like, oh my god,

644
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 1: that's what a body that emaciated looks like. That's what

645
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 1: I looked like. Now when we're talking about it from

646
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: the back, your butt needs fat to touch the cheeks together.

647
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:18,839
Speaker 1: I had no there was no but there was just

648
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: there was just bones and an asshole. It was just

649
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: there's no. But because I don't have so like your

650
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: butt cheeks are made the crack is made from fat.

651
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 1: So when you have no like if you look at

652
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: all of us, yeah, exactly, I had no cheeks. So

653
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: first of all, this is so gross. I'm so sorry,

654
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 1: Like this one is, this is really weird. But Antarexic

655
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 1: girls that don't have an ass like you can fart

656
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,760
Speaker 1: anytime because the only thing that makes a fart sound

657
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: is your ass cheeks flapping together. So I always were like,

658
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: you know, when you pull your as cheeks apart to

659
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: make it silent. I taught you that that's what you

660
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: can do as an interact, Like you are always like that.

661
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: You're asks are always apart, so you never have any

662
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: fart sounds, which is great because you're eating a lot

663
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 1: of vegetables. And so I bought when I was going

664
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 1: off to college, my my butt was literally concave and

665
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: people would it would hurt to sit and it just

666
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: looked insane. And so I bought this thing that I

667
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 1: saw in a catalog or maybe online. This is two,

668
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: so it wasn't like online shopping was what it is now.

669
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: I ordered um, like this kind of spanks thing that

670
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: had butt pads in it, like a fake butt just

671
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 1: so I could like have a but and not have

672
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: people make fun of me. It wasn't so I could

673
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: like because I got it sent to my dorm and

674
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: the dress was wrong. It is your penis one story.

675
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: The address I got the address wrong and it sent

676
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 1: it was the same as my billing address. It sent

677
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 1: it to my parents, opened it, saw it, and then

678
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: had to repack it and ship it to me, and

679
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: we never talked about it. And arrived at my dorm

680
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 1: from my mom and like a care package with with

681
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 1: Proactive which she also bought me as like I didn't

682
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: even ask to be my mom just like saw my face.

683
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: But the reason I had zipped because I was like

684
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: picking my face because I was still melnourished. I like

685
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 1: these wounds on my face. I mean, it was just

686
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: a terrible time. My friends are all getting care package

687
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 1: is filled with like cookies and like home baked goods

688
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: and like your favorite local thing that we miss you

689
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,479
Speaker 1: so much. And my mom sent me Proactive and butt

690
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: pads that I bought that I knew she saw and

691
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 1: was probably like, oh, Nikki, and like we weren't even

692
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: talking about that. I was so like it was the

693
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 1: secret band aid on it, and then I never wore

694
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: it because I was so embarrassed, so embarrassed that anyone

695
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 1: I just need to get rid of it, like I

696
00:36:54,719 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: needed no one to ever beach like with like a bay.

697
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: It's like, come on, But now you see them on

698
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: Instagram because butts are so in now that women do

699
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,959
Speaker 1: wear it, and it's like fine, but I, uh, yeah,

700
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,399
Speaker 1: that was I would do it again. Now I need

701
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 1: that thing back in my life. It's in a fucking

702
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: landfill somewhere. Is it funny that everything we've ever owned

703
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: is somewhere, like, unless it's biodegradable, it's like still exists.

704
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 1: Like your diapers from when you we're a toddler still

705
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: somewhere that dipe like that. It blows my mind. Well,

706
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: you could get refurbished into things, right, yeah, but those

707
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: are cloth ones, but no one uses those disposable ones.

708
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: The diapers you used are not bio or like a

709
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: plastic toy you at McDonald's. That is somewhere. It's still somewhere.

710
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: It's somewhere on this earth. It's gonna outlast you. All right,

711
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news first. I hope you had

712
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 1: a great weekend out there, had a great time. I've

713
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 1: had all the swells. We had a swell time in Wisconsin.

714
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: We never really saw outside the hotel, but we heard

715
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 1: there's things out there. Okay, the first story, my dad goes,

716
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 1: how is the weather? And I go, Um, I checked

717
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 1: the app before I left, and so high seventy five.

718
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 1: But that's what that's what I found out in St. Louis.

719
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. Yeah, I felt great from

720
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 1: the lobby to to sprint their van because that was um.

721
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: A preditor asked a good question. What's the subtle sign

722
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: that someone is a good person but doesn't want to

723
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: show it? Anonymous donation. There's fifteen things. We have some

724
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: down here picking up litter. They make space for someone

725
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: who is being ignored in a conversation. They are good

726
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: to animals and customer service staff, especially when they are agitated.

727
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 1: They tell you to take your time. When they are

728
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: given a chance to quietly talk bad about someone, they

729
00:38:55,719 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 1: say something good instead. WHOA, that's the first I can't

730
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: say I've done in the last forty eight hours, but

731
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: I've done all the other ones. I can literally give

732
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: you examples of all the times I've done the other three.

733
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,879
Speaker 1: All Right, let's keep going. But but number four, let's

734
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 1: say that one again. Let's revisit that when they are

735
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 1: given a chance to quietly talk bad about someone, they

736
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: say something good instead. That one I'm really working on

737
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 1: and I've done it a couple of times. And let

738
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: me tell you that one is a fucking that's the

739
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,919
Speaker 1: everest of being a good person, because, boy is gossip fun.

740
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: Boy do you just want to please the person in

741
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: front of you who wants to talk to a lot

742
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 1: of times the person that you're talking to has brought

743
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: up shooting on someone and you you want that person

744
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: to like you, so agreeing with them would be the

745
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: right thing to do. And it's just it's a given.

746
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 1: And you might have something bad about this person that

747
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 1: you want to say and that I can't say I'm

748
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: very good at that, but I'm really working at it,

749
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: because that one when you really stop gossiping and being

750
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: and saying things about people behind their back that you

751
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't say to their face, or if you're recording this,

752
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: always remained your conversations recorded, and that it's going to

753
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 1: be played for that person and then see how you

754
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: behave It's very different. Yeah, I know, it's like there's

755
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: nothing more boring than being a brunch and like John's

756
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 1: a fucking dick head and he's like, whoa John did

757
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: one nice thing one time? Hey, No, it doesn't have

758
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: to be that. I think it can be. Well, he's

759
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: out a rough life, and that's how someone kind of

760
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: behaves when they've had a rough time. And I and

761
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 1: let me say, I've said that over and over and over.

762
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: But that's more me trying to teach people how to

763
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: be more empathetic to waiters, like what you were just saying.

764
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: Like my dad last night we went to dinner and

765
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 1: he ordered the Camp sushi combo and you're supposed to

766
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 1: get a salad and soup with it. Salad and soup

767
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 1: didn't come. The entree comes and he literally goes, where's

768
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 1: the soup and salad? Weren't those supposed to come first?

769
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: Like that tone. I can't. I would love to add

770
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 1: onto that, Nick, But your dad, he's pretty good at

771
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: riding a bike, he's good at wearing old Let me

772
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: let me actually amend that and say the exact way

773
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: that he said it, because that would made me exaggerated.

774
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,959
Speaker 1: Hold on, Andrew, will you deliver my sushi? Yeah? Here's

775
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: your sushi combo, sir, supposed we're supposed to get a

776
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: super salad when those come first. That tone so sorry, sir,

777
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 1: into we made a mistake here. And now she did

778
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: the thing that's annoying where she goes, oh, no problem,

779
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,760
Speaker 1: like it's almost like, you know, like it wasn't supposed

780
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 1: to And so that agitated him more. And then when

781
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 1: she brought when she brought something, so I think something

782
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 1: else got delivered before the soup and salad. And he

783
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: threw up a hand like this because the person he

784
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: told the super salading do was just the food runner

785
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 1: and so our waitress didn't hear it. So the waitress

786
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 1: came by to do something, and he throws up his

787
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: hand like, and I just go, I go, is I

788
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: think we're supposed to get a sup and salad with these? Um?

789
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: Is there any way to bring those now? And then

790
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: I turned to him and I go, there's a way

791
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 1: to say things, and it isn't this. And I gave

792
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 1: the hand of what he just did, and you're right,

793
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 1: You're right. So it was very nice of him to

794
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: like acquiesce and let me you know, school did they

795
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,399
Speaker 1: bring the soup and salad? At the same time. Then

796
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: they brought all the soup and salads. I even got one,

797
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,359
Speaker 1: and I didn't order a compost, so I go chi ching.

798
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: You know. Oh you told him though that they made

799
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 1: a mistake and right or no, I just said no,

800
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 1: I'm just working around Oh no, no, no, I did not.

801
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 1: I took it and made it because it's a little

802
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: miso and the little side salad. That's when those like

803
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: thug life glasses co on you and you're smoking a cigarette.

804
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: You know those means yeah, I love those. Okay, let's

805
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: keep going, good person, all right. They bring their shopping cart,

806
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: they bring their shopping cart to the car return when

807
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 1: they're done with it. Yes, five, I'm five for I'm

808
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,760
Speaker 1: five for five one. I'm a little hazy on okay.

809
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,240
Speaker 1: They ignore things like when you accidentally fart or spit

810
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: while talking so you don't feel embarrassed. Yes, I've done

811
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: that recently. I mean not to you are my close friends,

812
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: but like in someone new or like that's the best

813
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: sentence though, that you just said no, Because when someone

814
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,439
Speaker 1: fartss or it spits with your close friends, that would

815
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: be insane to not call it out and be like,

816
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 1: did you just fart, like not in a way that's like,

817
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: did you four? I woke Brenda up with a fart

818
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,280
Speaker 1: last night, and I really don't know if I farted,

819
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: but it smelled, so I gotta say I love that

820
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: there's a new alarm. You know how alarm clocks sometimes

821
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 1: they'll like brighten, like there's light ones. You do a

822
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 1: smell one that it's just such a brutal far And

823
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: unless your cheeks were not a part or we're apart,

824
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 1: you definitely made a sound maybe the vibrations of the

825
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:57,479
Speaker 1: bed without without really slowly yeah, real slow slow burns.

826
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: Did you know, by the way, I think maybe I

827
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,919
Speaker 1: blew some people's minds with the fart, Like some people

828
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: don't know that the sound, I think there's a little

829
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 1: bit of a sound that your asshole makes, but it's

830
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 1: mostly the flashlights sound is your cheeks and the air

831
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 1: going between your cheeks. Did you know that when you

832
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 1: snap your fingers, the snap sound is made from your uh,

833
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 1: middle finger hitting your palm, and that's the only sound

834
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: that's being made there. And you think it's your fingers

835
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: clicking together, but it's just the sound of your hand

836
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: slapping your palm. That just blew my mind right that

837
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: I've heard on Reddit too, of like, what's something you

838
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: just learned that you never knew? And everyone on the

839
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: thread was like, what the fuck? I'm throwing it out,

840
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 1: And there's a way to make it to prove it

841
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: where you like, oh, here, put your thumb on the

842
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:46,280
Speaker 1: part where your middle fingers on your other hand doesn't

843
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: make a sound. So if you didn't have a palm,

844
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 1: it's like when you don't have butt cheeks, I guess

845
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 1: you have fingers. If you don't have a bomb, like,

846
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: I don't think you could do that. What have you

847
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 1: snap on your ask cheeks? Mm hmmm, oh I heard

848
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 1: a fart number six. Um. They ignore things like when

849
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 1: you know, okay, they do kind things and don't take

850
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 1: credit for it or posted online for likes and praise.

851
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,720
Speaker 1: All right, I do that, but like you know, sometimes

852
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 1: I do want sometimes when I tip, I do want

853
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 1: them to see. But most of the time they never

854
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 1: see and I just have to eat it, you know. Yeah,

855
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: they actually listen to your point when you're having an

856
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: argument or discussion instead of just getting ready to make

857
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: their I mean that one. I do it, but it

858
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: takes a lot of it listen to the end of

859
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 1: my sentence, Nicky, can you just shut up for a

860
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 1: second and then I'll do it? So maybe I'm not

861
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,720
Speaker 1: good at that one. It's hard to slow down an argument,

862
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like fuck you? Fuck you?

863
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 1: Can we just slop fuck you? Yeah? It is. It's like, yeah,

864
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: you just wanna to me like on YouTube. Yes, yeah,

865
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 1: but you shaid that you would chick side long. Why

866
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 1: are you so folks done? That's how we find honestly,

867
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: we would really get a lot more done if we

868
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:28,439
Speaker 1: slowed everything down, all right. Next one, they don't ask

869
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 1: intrusive questions that might hurt other people that I'm I'm

870
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: I do that too much. That's so passive aggressive. But

871
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: I do set up people to like have to address

872
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: things that are annoying me about them in passive aggressive ways.

873
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 1: So alright, I'm I'm out of I'm I'm bordering on

874
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 1: getting a C plus on this desk. Hey, that's pretty solid,

875
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: So I think I'm so, I think we're at eight

876
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 1: and I've had two halves and one fold that I've missed,

877
00:46:55,160 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 1: So I've got two and a half points out of eight. Okay, Uh, well,

878
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: I have to go to an article if we want

879
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: to do the other six, but I think we'll just

880
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 1: go to the next one. Is that cool? Yeah? So

881
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: I got like an you got an eight. I probably

882
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: right around there. I would not say that I was

883
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 1: better or worse. Whoa dude, that's not true. I just

884
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 1: I just know when we like you, like you know,

885
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 1: doing things that don't serve you, I'm not. I am

886
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 1: being nice you. I had to get to a point this.

887
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 1: This took a lot of work of going to therapy

888
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 1: and like meditating and reading books about how to be

889
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 1: a good person, and like working a spiritual program to

890
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 1: like understand that I need to do things that it's

891
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 1: not because you're a bad person. I think that it's

892
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: just like I would say, for example, like I don't

893
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 1: think that you would clean up a mess that you

894
00:47:55,080 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: left in a public situation unless someone true that's not true. Okay,

895
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 1: but I could be wrong, But I think I just

896
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:10,720
Speaker 1: failed the test. I wish you would have been giving

897
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: your credit to yourself too. During that I was saying

898
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm around there, and then you had to win at

899
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 1: the end. It's not about winning. I'm just there's no

900
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: I wasn't you always think it's a competitive and maybe

901
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 1: there is. Maybe I am comb out of it, but

902
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 1: it's not about winning. It's just about being accountable. I know.

903
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: But yes, okay, next next door, a doctor explains, Oh,

904
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 1: this is actually goes right into what we've been talking about. Seriously,

905
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: I can't even listen to this ship anymore. I'm just

906
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 1: doing some people's voices right now, you heard me. A

907
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:50,839
Speaker 1: doctor explains that you should never sleep naked because when

908
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: you pass gas, you're spraying fecal matter directly on your sheets.

909
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,760
Speaker 1: What I mean, I knew this. I know this because

910
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 1: as a woman with like a pussy that gets like

911
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 1: you know, has discharge when sometimes you either are horny,

912
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: or you're about to start your period, or you're on

913
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 1: your period, or you're just anywhere close to your beer.

914
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,279
Speaker 1: If you're just a woman, you're like have things coming out,

915
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 1: and I don't want them on my sheets, and I

916
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 1: don't want my like last night, in fact, I Luigi

917
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: was under my covers because sometimes he burrows, and I farted,

918
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,439
Speaker 1: and sometimes you think your dog is gonna want your

919
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,240
Speaker 1: fart because dogs love ship, but they don't like fart smells,

920
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 1: and and so I had to like open up the

921
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 1: sheets because I didn't want to, you know, hot box. Well,

922
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: they also have like their nose. I mean they could

923
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 1: smell a fart before dogs love pop comes out of

924
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 1: your body smells. You think they would like it, but

925
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: they don't. Here's my question. If it dogs can smells

926
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 1: so well, why do they have to get so close

927
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: to the asshole. It's a really good point because I

928
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: think that it just tells them like I don't, Yeah,

929
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: they want to know more. Is it funny to see

930
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 1: a dog smell an asshole and it's like it goes

931
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 1: like in its brain he sees your whole past, like

932
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: I just threw the smell of your asshole, like he

933
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 1: saw like what you did actually smell my asshole. I

934
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 1: think that's more of a youth thing. If you've had dogs,

935
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 1: sometimes go for my crotch or something. But I think

936
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: that's just because it's you know, concentrated smells there sometimes

937
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 1: you know, during the month or maybe I have cancer,

938
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like I feel like when dogs

939
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: smell other dogs assholes. It's so funny when two people

940
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: are like meeting, you know in our elevator, and Luigi

941
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: will like smell a dog's asshole and start like licking

942
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 1: it and you just have to be like it's hot today,

943
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:48,839
Speaker 1: or like there's construction on third floor? Okay, what's his name?

944
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:50,839
Speaker 1: And they're just both like going down on each other.

945
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 1: It's so funny that you just like you can't say

946
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:59,760
Speaker 1: while Luigi eating some mass today, you like your mom,

947
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 1: And then guys like, yeah, dogs friendly, Yeah it is,

948
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:08,879
Speaker 1: it's sucking my dogs dick dogs genders And when you go, oh,

949
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 1: she's so cute, and they go it's a it's a boy,

950
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: or they kind of pass up agrest you go yeah,

951
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: he's fun, and you're just like, oh my god, I

952
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 1: hate that. Like you could tell by its whiskers. It's like,

953
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: shut up, no you can't. And you named it a

954
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: gender neutral name, like I don't name is their dog's

955
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 1: name is whiskers? That could be a boy or a girl.

956
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,359
Speaker 1: And do you want me to be looking at your

957
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 1: dogs genitals to know what it was said? I was like, oh, sorry,

958
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 1: I didn't get Do you want me to lift up

959
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 1: its leg to go, oh, yeah, it's got a tight

960
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 1: little pussy. Sorry I thought it was a boy or

961
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 1: I just go, oh, your dog is trans It just

962
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 1: told me, but it's I want to do a joke

963
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 1: so bad about dogs with human eyes. I hate dogs

964
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:54,879
Speaker 1: with human eyes. Oh man, my dog, my favorite Hubert,

965
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: has hate And obviously I love all animals. I passed

966
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 1: number two on that test. And I believe, you know,

967
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 1: every animal deserves to live. Ones with human eyes a

968
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 1: little less, so um, you just got I just want

969
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: animals that have Like there's certain dogs and I remember

970
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 1: dating a guy who like and he rejected me, and

971
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: he got a dog with human eyes, and I was like,

972
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 1: I couldn't even fake liking this guy like and this

973
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: guy's dog. It would have to be. It would be

974
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: a fake relationship because I would always be a little

975
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 1: bit like, goet away from me. Like, there are some

976
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: dogs I just don't like. I'm not gonna be mean

977
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 1: to them. It's just like people. You don't have to

978
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 1: like every dog. Ye, my assistant every time she sees

979
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 1: a dog, she goes doggy, and I'm just like, Kirsten

980
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: is the same way. They love animals so much that

981
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 1: they see a dog, any dog, and they go oh, poppy, again,

982
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: that ain't a puppy. That is a gross old dog

983
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: that's about to pass away and has human eyes, like

984
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: it is don't have the same It's so funny to

985
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 1: me when people love dogs that much, or or like

986
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: any animals. I'm I love I'm a vegan, but I

987
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: don't go talky when I see us old mangi service dog.

988
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: Like there's some comedians in New York. I'd be walking

989
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 1: around the city and they'd be like, I hate this

990
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 1: about this, I hate like they're just they hate everything.

991
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: And then they see a dog and puppy and I

992
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 1: was like, oh, something happened when you were a kid

993
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 1: with your dog and your dad probably hit your dog,

994
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 1: and now you blame society, but you love the dog still,

995
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, it's just like it's always interesting

996
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 1: when they like change their whole demeanor for this puppy,

997
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 1: but they couldn't do it for another fellow, you know

998
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 1: what I mean. I do it with birds, like birds,

999
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 1: I get like like birds, an old mangie pigeon, I

1000
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 1: will have the same reaction as like a beautiful little chickie,

1001
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 1: like a little you know, freshly hatched chick I love

1002
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 1: the same kind of like what about an owl though

1003
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: now as human eyes though and now all kind of

1004
00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:57,359
Speaker 1: human birds with human eyes, I don't and they don't

1005
00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: have human eyes. I don't. And Kiwi, my old bird,

1006
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 1: used to sometimes get human eyes like they get and

1007
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: what that means is like it's just not a black eye,

1008
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 1: like it has like dimension to it. It has like

1009
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 1: an iris. And sometimes he would like focus and get

1010
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: like his eye would dilate and it would be my

1011
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: sister and I would be like, Kiwi is not cool today,

1012
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 1: like we just did not. He would be like more intense.

1013
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 1: He was like wanting to get fucked or something like

1014
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 1: he was in heat and we just did not like

1015
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,919
Speaker 1: his energy. But do you know what I'm talking about

1016
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: When people are just love any fucking dog and you go, well,

1017
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,399
Speaker 1: I don't trust you now when you tell me that

1018
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,400
Speaker 1: a dog is cute, because you think any dog is cute.

1019
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: And I'm so over people being like I people do

1020
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 1: with babies. People do it. There are some very ugly,

1021
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: weird babies out there that give me the creeps. Yeah,

1022
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 1: but I'm sorry. You know people under people will sometimes

1023
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 1: think there, but that's that makes sense. If you think

1024
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,839
Speaker 1: you're ugly dog is cute, that makes sense when you

1025
00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 1: think any dog is cute or any No one really

1026
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 1: thinks any ugly baby is cute, that's a and if

1027
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,840
Speaker 1: you do, that's a woman who is just so dying

1028
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 1: to have a baby that it's almost like, you know,

1029
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,480
Speaker 1: embedded in their DNA that they just will take anything

1030
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 1: you know that tells you something about yourself. So maybe, um,

1031
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, but sometimes I'm just like I don't understand,

1032
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 1: Like I get jealous because I love animals and I

1033
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 1: can't get to that level with dogs. Interesting. Interesting, I

1034
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 1: don't know. I just don't. Don't send me a picture

1035
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 1: of him. It will creep me out, like I don't

1036
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: want to see it. And people that have dogs with

1037
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 1: human eyes, listen, I'm sure you had hate something within

1038
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: my life that I like, and so it's okay. And

1039
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: I don't hate your dog. Of course I love your dog.

1040
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: And I would adopt a dog with human eyes. I

1041
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: just would never. I would just I would make it weird,

1042
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: sunglasses like spots mackenzie. I'd have a dress like a

1043
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,919
Speaker 1: pirate every day. All right, let's take a quick break

1044
00:55:55,920 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 1: and get back to why do I care? Why do

1045
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,800
Speaker 1: I care? Andrew, I don't know anymore? Why do I care?

1046
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:11,919
Speaker 1: A tiffany hat Ish entertains dinner goers with an impromptu

1047
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 1: song and dance singing Tina Turner's Proud Mary. The comedian

1048
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 1: was at dinner Saturday night with her boyfriend Comin, Chelsea

1049
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 1: Handler and Joe Koy. There was a jazz band just performing,

1050
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 1: and so she decided to get on stage and make

1051
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: it about herself, I mean, and do a show stopping

1052
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 1: number with the help of the musicians. How is that

1053
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 1: no different? You hate the guy that does the worm

1054
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:42,839
Speaker 1: at a at a wedding. He's not Tiffany Hatta. She's

1055
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 1: not a famous person who everyone in the room is

1056
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:47,720
Speaker 1: already freaking out is in the room? I mean, everyone

1057
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 1: loves Tiffany hats I don't know anyone that's just like not.

1058
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 1: And by the way, she's an insanely good performer. And

1059
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 1: so even if she's a bad singer, Uh, Like, if

1060
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:59,359
Speaker 1: I got up there and did Proud Mary, no one

1061
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: needs to see that's not like mine. You would be

1062
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:08,839
Speaker 1: an ashamed Mary. Um you And seriously, I would rather

1063
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,319
Speaker 1: have you sent me my butt pads in the mail

1064
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 1: like that would be excruciating for everyone. But Tiffany, honest,

1065
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: even if she has a garbage voice, she's someone that

1066
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 1: has such such like Tina Turner energy that I feel

1067
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: like that, even me being kind of, you know, jaded

1068
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 1: about celebrities and especially comedians who you know, came up

1069
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 1: with and and kind of knew them before they were stars.

1070
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 1: And I'm not like dazzled Tiffany. I didn't really know

1071
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: that well, so I am just dazzled by her anyway.

1072
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 1: But I think I would have really loved that, And

1073
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:44,560
Speaker 1: especially if Chelsea Handler and Common and yeah, that guy

1074
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: opened for in Tampa, like, I can't ever be like

1075
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,439
Speaker 1: and Joe Coy was laughing. I mean, joke is great,

1076
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to be like. And Joe Coy

1077
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 1: listed among those good for him, and he's very successful.

1078
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 1: He probably has more followers than me. But you know,

1079
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 1: I just that's what I'm talking about. Someone like Joe Koy,

1080
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 1: who I've known forever. I'm not going to suddenly be

1081
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 1: like and Joe Koi was there, man, I used to

1082
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 1: call it coying. I hope he doesn't hear this. He

1083
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 1: probably will, but Joe Cooy is like a a famous

1084
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 1: comedian and really good one and a performer that, by

1085
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 1: the way, if he gets up to sing a song,

1086
00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 1: you better fucking listen. Because he used to close with

1087
00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:28,959
Speaker 1: a Michael Jackson impersonation where he would molest a couple

1088
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 1: of boys. You bring him on stage. No he would, um,

1089
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 1: I was like, when I kind of like this act, No,

1090
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 1: he would do it. He's insanely talented dancer, singer, But

1091
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 1: hed do this thing? Now, go ahead, go ahead? What

1092
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 1: would he do? He would? I opened him for him

1093
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 1: in Tampa at the Improv and worked a weekend with him,

1094
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 1: and he would do this thing where when he got

1095
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 1: off stage, and let's let me be honest, it probably

1096
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 1: would have happened anyway. Let me just let me be

1097
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: let me see if I honestly think that. Yes, I

1098
00:58:57,840 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 1: do honestly think that. I'm not lying when I say that.

1099
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: But you did this trick that performers. If you're a

1100
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 1: performer and you get to a point where people are

1101
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,600
Speaker 1: coming out to see you, and they like, I could

1102
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 1: do this now at the level I'm at, but I'm

1103
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:14,920
Speaker 1: not going to because it is it. I don't. I

1104
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 1: don't even look at people. I blur my eyes because

1105
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: I know that when I look at someone, it forces

1106
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 1: them to laugh. And I don't want anyone to laugh

1107
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,440
Speaker 1: that doesn't want to laugh. I don't want to trick

1108
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 1: anyone into doing anything for me ever, um, I don't

1109
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 1: want to say ever. Maybe I do subconsciously, but like intentionally,

1110
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,919
Speaker 1: I'll never use one of these devices I read about

1111
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 1: Dale Carnegie to get you to like me, the one

1112
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 1: where you like, ask someone to hand you something that

1113
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 1: you could grab and if they get it for you,

1114
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 1: because they don't want to think they're a bit, they'll go,

1115
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 1: I guess I like her, and then they end up

1116
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,120
Speaker 1: liking you more. That's a trick that where they don't

1117
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: really like you more, you just tricked them into like anymore.

1118
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:49,720
Speaker 1: I don't do that ship. But here's a trick to

1119
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,840
Speaker 1: um get people to think that they enjoyed your show

1120
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 1: more than they maybe did, or maybe just get them

1121
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 1: to um make you feel a way that you want

1122
00:59:59,840 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: to feel after your show that you just gave it all,

1123
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,080
Speaker 1: because he would give just these you know, he would

1124
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,439
Speaker 1: give it all. He would leave it like a very

1125
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: exhaustive set, and he would get done with it and

1126
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 1: you go, thank you guys, good night. And at that point,

1127
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 1: usually for me, because I just have low self esteem,

1128
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 1: I wave and I like start walking off the stage

1129
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,400
Speaker 1: and I go like thank you Tampa. Like it would

1130
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 1: go it would go and you know that was the

1131
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 1: story of my abortion. Thank you, Tampa, You've been amazing.

1132
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 1: Good night, And then I start waving and walking off

1133
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 1: the stage and maybe I'll go back to the mic

1134
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 1: and go, seriously, thank you so much for whatever you

1135
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: did tonight to get here. I appreciate it. Thank you're

1136
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 1: spending your money, like I give like because I forget

1137
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 1: to do say that at the beginning, and I just like,

1138
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 1: I'm trying to win them over, like I hope, I

1139
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 1: guess it's just as manipulative, but I do mean that, like,

1140
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you for spending your money. If and

1141
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: I also say, if I offended you, I'm really sorry.

1142
01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to. I like, I give all these caveats.

1143
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 1: That's me. And then I walk off stage and I

1144
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 1: wave right and by also, I do a dance number

1145
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 1: at the end, but that is just in case everyone

1146
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 1: hated my act and we're like, oh, at least we

1147
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 1: get to watch the silly dance. And the last a

1148
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 1: minute it's to ginger after eating. Can you guess what

1149
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:13,480
Speaker 1: he does? Yes, yes, it totally is. You need a

1150
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 1: cleanser at the end before yea. Sometimes I people eat, uh,

1151
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 1: sometimes I force feed them with sabby when they think

1152
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 1: it's a slice of avocado that fell out. That happened

1153
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:24,560
Speaker 1: to my friend. She just popped a huge bot with

1154
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 1: sabby because she thought it was a piece of California.

1155
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 1: All that fell out and she died and we miss her. Um.

1156
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 1: Can you guess what he does? Thank you a good night.

1157
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 1: And then he probably goes he uh, he waits, he goes,

1158
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 1: thank you good night. Oh my gosh, guys, thank you

1159
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 1: so much, thank you? No, thank you? What do you

1160
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: think happens if you wait long enough? He gets Yes,

1161
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 1: people start one person will stand because let me just say,

1162
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: every time I finished the show, one guy no no, no, yes,

1163
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 1: I know to leave and stuff, but at least one

1164
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 1: person and will stand up to be like I like

1165
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 1: you the most. There's always like some obnoxious and and

1166
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 1: by the way, I love that when people stand up.

1167
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 1: Sometimes like I rarely get the whole room like at

1168
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 1: once standing up. You know when when a standing ovation

1169
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 1: happens in any setting, what happens it's a couple of

1170
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 1: people stand and then you look like an idiot if

1171
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: you don't stand, so you end up standing, and then

1172
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 1: they get the whole room. So it's you get one

1173
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 1: applause break and you go, thanks for the one applause,

1174
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:30,520
Speaker 1: and then everyoneuse So if you if you do it now,

1175
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 1: people aren't going to do this unless you give a

1176
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 1: good show. So this is not taking anything. He deserves this,

1177
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 1: and everyone gets it's so rare that an applause, that

1178
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: a standing ovation happens if someone doesn't wait, if you

1179
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 1: just flee the stage, people don't get on their feet,

1180
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 1: and or no one ever just jumps up all at once.

1181
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:51,080
Speaker 1: He would do that and then he would go, oh

1182
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 1: my gosh, no, that's too kind, guys, and then everyone's

1183
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: don't go. If you're watching, I'm really sorry. But one

1184
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 1: time after I started just like noticing it was happening,

1185
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 1: and he started like kind of counting them. And I

1186
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: remember we had a weekend where we did seven shows,

1187
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 1: and on the Sunday night he goes cut seven standing ovations,

1188
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,760
Speaker 1: like I can't believe it, like he started, yeah, like

1189
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 1: he started. He wasn't counting like seven sold out shows,

1190
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: which was also true and impressive in and other stuff.

1191
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 1: Seven shows where I killed the entire time talking about him,

1192
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,960
Speaker 1: not me. He was that meant something to him, and

1193
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 1: I realized I wanted to be like, yeah, but you

1194
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:32,919
Speaker 1: you're tricking them into doing it. I mean they want

1195
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 1: to and they're glad to show their enthusiasm that way,

1196
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 1: but you're waiting for it. If you just walked off

1197
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: stage some like you know, some of them would stand,

1198
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 1: but they would just applaud for It's it would be

1199
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:45,920
Speaker 1: the same, like they would feel the same about you,

1200
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 1: But actually I don't think they would feel the same.

1201
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 1: Much like the trick where you ask someone to give

1202
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 1: you something that you could reach yourself if someone stands

1203
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,960
Speaker 1: up in applaudse even when I do it at a

1204
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 1: show and I'm like, actually I am going to stand

1205
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 1: to stand and and do give that someone. You have

1206
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 1: to convince yourself I actually like this because you're not

1207
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 1: being told you're not one of the fucking lemmings next

1208
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 1: to you. You actually believe this, so your brain will

1209
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 1: actually get you to believe that you like this better.

1210
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:14,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start doing it. I want people to like

1211
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:17,600
Speaker 1: me more. Honestly, Yeah, I'm gonna do it at a

1212
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: jazz club when no one asked me to perform. Let's

1213
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 1: do top one, bottom one. That's why I care. Sorry joke, Ay,

1214
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:29,000
Speaker 1: I love you um, everything on stage is manipulation that

1215
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 1: and I'm sure he's not the only one that does that.

1216
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 1: I'm positive of it. Top one, bottom one today, that's

1217
01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:37,320
Speaker 1: where we put the the top and bottom um thing

1218
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 1: out of the list. The category today is Instagram Trends, tropes,

1219
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 1: things we see on Instagram, kinds of posts, anything on Instagram.

1220
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 1: Your favorite thing you see on Instagram, whether it's a person,

1221
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 1: a post, or a type of post um uh filter,

1222
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 1: and your least favorite thing. Andrew, can we start with you?

1223
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,600
Speaker 1: Are you ready? I am ready. I would say my

1224
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:06,400
Speaker 1: least favorite thing is the photo dump that people do,

1225
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 1: because I'll tell you why. Is because Instagram has become

1226
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 1: this thing of like, look at me, Look how great

1227
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 1: I am, Look how perfect the filter is. And then

1228
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:20,560
Speaker 1: the the photo dump gives you a scapegoat of putting

1229
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,000
Speaker 1: up real shitty pictures and like ten of them at

1230
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,439
Speaker 1: a time, and you're like, oh, this is just who

1231
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: I really am in a photo, like just fucking post

1232
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:33,120
Speaker 1: the shitty photo, not in a photo. So you find

1233
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:35,840
Speaker 1: that photo dumps are people are ways for people to

1234
01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:39,080
Speaker 1: like kind of clear out their pictures and they don't

1235
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:42,120
Speaker 1: find as much time making the curating them. Do you

1236
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 1: want more time spent or do you think they're being

1237
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 1: manipulative of like this is the real me, but I

1238
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 1: can get away with it because I'm confused. It's it's

1239
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:55,120
Speaker 1: the it's the feeling of like all the other photos

1240
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 1: are like perfectly curated and like nice and filtered and

1241
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 1: they look hot, and then these photo dumps are like

1242
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:05,320
Speaker 1: a picture of a tree and a picture of you know,

1243
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 1: maybe me, uh, like from a side angle that's blurry

1244
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:12,200
Speaker 1: or like, and it's just more real photos. I feel

1245
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:14,880
Speaker 1: like that they if they posted them on their own,

1246
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:17,840
Speaker 1: they want to get that many likes, But because they

1247
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 1: put it inside a photo dump with a caveat of like, hey,

1248
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: this is kind of like just my regular, every day

1249
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 1: kind of shitty photos, it gets just as many likes

1250
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:30,840
Speaker 1: as the actual curated photo got it. Okay, I did not.

1251
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:33,640
Speaker 1: I would never have thought of photo dumps that way.

1252
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 1: I tend to like them because they because they allow

1253
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 1: for more vulnerable things, because I think people are so

1254
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 1: scared to post things on their main feed because it

1255
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 1: gets so much attention because it's just one photo. I

1256
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 1: know I am. That's why I love the Nicki Glazer

1257
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:48,560
Speaker 1: pod account because I can post things that are more

1258
01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:51,720
Speaker 1: vulnerable because I trust those people more that when there's

1259
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:54,880
Speaker 1: a photo dump, people feel safer putting more vulnerable things

1260
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 1: on that because they don't they know that everyone's not

1261
01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: going to look through the whole thing, and that of

1262
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:01,880
Speaker 1: more vulnerable thinking be hidden. So I enjoy those and

1263
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,960
Speaker 1: I go all the way through on people I'm interested in,

1264
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 1: because generally there's a little thing on there that you

1265
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:08,200
Speaker 1: would have never gotten to see had there not been

1266
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:10,720
Speaker 1: the trend of the photo dump. Interesting way to look

1267
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:14,640
Speaker 1: at it. Noah, do you have a least favorite trend

1268
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:18,400
Speaker 1: or thing on Instagram? My one of my least favorite

1269
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:22,320
Speaker 1: things on Instagram is people who put filters on their

1270
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:32,400
Speaker 1: babies or children. What is that? You know? How like

1271
01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 1: in the stories and you could put like a fairy

1272
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,360
Speaker 1: or like make your kid into a cartoon. That just

1273
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:43,400
Speaker 1: creeps me out. Oh see, kids love that because like,

1274
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: can you imagine being a kid and having your face

1275
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:47,840
Speaker 1: like I was doing it with Arlow the other day

1276
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:50,320
Speaker 1: and I didn't post it, but it's so fun that

1277
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:52,560
Speaker 1: his face could be a Thomas the Train engine and

1278
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,320
Speaker 1: he was like talking and being like I'm are low

1279
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 1: and it was like she's saying, don't try to make

1280
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,240
Speaker 1: your five people right where it like brings their eyes

1281
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,880
Speaker 1: up and puts them long lashes and makes their noise

1282
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:14,120
Speaker 1: their nose pointy. It's just yes, I totally know what

1283
01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:16,799
Speaker 1: you're saying. No those and I would I would extend

1284
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:21,519
Speaker 1: that to everyone like these stopping in denial that because

1285
01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:23,599
Speaker 1: I think a lot of guys, even Andrew, I remember

1286
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 1: you saying that, like, no, the first, you know, the

1287
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:30,040
Speaker 1: first the Paris filter, Yes, you even go oh, I

1288
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:32,599
Speaker 1: thought that was just like a put a coloring on it,

1289
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 1: like it didn't know, but it like actually makes your

1290
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:39,160
Speaker 1: skin look more smooth, It makes your eyes slightly bigger,

1291
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 1: like it just it it makes you more It takes

1292
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:44,920
Speaker 1: a human face and makes it more appealing, and it

1293
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: makes you look not like you really look. It's not

1294
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:50,360
Speaker 1: just like a like the old Instagram filters would were

1295
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 1: purely like you know, would just be like a sheen

1296
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:55,960
Speaker 1: over it, and you could kind of tell Paris will

1297
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:58,840
Speaker 1: actually make people think that's what you look like. Yeah,

1298
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:01,880
Speaker 1: and so until one guy goes, I could tell that's

1299
01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:04,680
Speaker 1: a filter, and it ruins everything. Yeah. I always I

1300
01:09:04,720 --> 01:09:06,840
Speaker 1: always kind of warn when it's a Paris filter because

1301
01:09:06,840 --> 01:09:10,240
Speaker 1: I just don't want people to. I think it's so

1302
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 1: harmful for girls a k a. Myself to to see

1303
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:17,599
Speaker 1: celebrities and people putting on those Paris filters and using

1304
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:23,360
Speaker 1: filters and not having a discerning eye and not you

1305
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:27,160
Speaker 1: can look completely different. And to that point, I feel

1306
01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:32,000
Speaker 1: like we don't have any like actual photographs of ourselves anymore.

1307
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:34,840
Speaker 1: So for kids who are growing up today, they won't

1308
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:37,320
Speaker 1: have actual photos to look back. So just imagine looking

1309
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:40,479
Speaker 1: at your parents Instagram feed and just seeing yourself as

1310
01:09:40,479 --> 01:09:42,680
Speaker 1: a kid with all these filters. That's really the thing

1311
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:45,760
Speaker 1: that creeps me out. But you know, I don't know

1312
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:47,840
Speaker 1: that they're going to go away, so it'll probably be

1313
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:50,720
Speaker 1: exactly what they're seeing in the future. Like it's not

1314
01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:53,920
Speaker 1: gonna be, but they and everyone will think they're a

1315
01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:57,040
Speaker 1: beautiful child that has like sparkles on their like eyebrows,

1316
01:09:57,920 --> 01:09:59,719
Speaker 1: you know, the ones that kind of glimmer. Taylor shift

1317
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,200
Speaker 1: uses a lot any kind of highlight on the skin,

1318
01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:05,559
Speaker 1: the lightest part of any like if you have a

1319
01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 1: a gloss on your lips. The filter will take whatever

1320
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,240
Speaker 1: the lightest point in that photo is and put a

1321
01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:15,919
Speaker 1: little like a little like you know, uh flicker on it,

1322
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:18,960
Speaker 1: so it looks like you're so highlighted like your dewey

1323
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 1: and it catches the light. It's a beautiful filter. I mean,

1324
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:25,920
Speaker 1: these things are incredibly impressively advanced, but um, you kind

1325
01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 1: of reminded me of something, Noah, that I hate, and

1326
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:31,840
Speaker 1: it's I'll use this one even though I have. You know,

1327
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:34,240
Speaker 1: we could do this topic every week. It's kind of

1328
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:36,719
Speaker 1: fun actually, and we should do more of these and

1329
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:39,160
Speaker 1: and and feel free to send us in voice memos

1330
01:10:39,160 --> 01:10:41,800
Speaker 1: of specific things on Instagram you hate. If you're just

1331
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:44,120
Speaker 1: like biting your tongue or like dying for us to

1332
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:46,160
Speaker 1: to say it right now, call into the voice memo

1333
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:52,040
Speaker 1: and leave us one. Okay, when celebrities won't post pictures

1334
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:55,440
Speaker 1: of their kids and instead they put like an emoji

1335
01:10:55,520 --> 01:11:00,240
Speaker 1: on the kid's head, and it just to me looks

1336
01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:06,960
Speaker 1: like a It makes it look like to me a

1337
01:11:06,960 --> 01:11:11,439
Speaker 1: a child sex image that is being reported on on dateline,

1338
01:11:11,479 --> 01:11:14,200
Speaker 1: you know, when like a child is being has been

1339
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:16,720
Speaker 1: abused or something and they need to report on it,

1340
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 1: and they show the suspect but and he's holding the child,

1341
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,280
Speaker 1: but then they put something over the child's face. In

1342
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:24,639
Speaker 1: that case, of course, blur the child's face to protect

1343
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:28,800
Speaker 1: the child. Um, but when it reminds me of that,

1344
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:30,960
Speaker 1: you know, like it's not just it's obviously not that.

1345
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:33,799
Speaker 1: But when Kristen Bell puts on like a sunglass emoji

1346
01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:36,840
Speaker 1: over her kid's face, it makes me first of all,

1347
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:41,000
Speaker 1: more curious about what that child looks like it and

1348
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 1: it's like, we why do we need to see you

1349
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:47,800
Speaker 1: with a child? And anyway, and what if I'm into

1350
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:50,320
Speaker 1: children's feet? What if a PERV isn't it? I guess

1351
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:53,080
Speaker 1: you can. You're just trying to protect their identity. I

1352
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:56,240
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm just it just when guys do it

1353
01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:58,000
Speaker 1: on bumble. I used to say that, I go, it

1354
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,280
Speaker 1: looks like when you have a picture of your niece

1355
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:02,479
Speaker 1: or nephew and you blur their face or put on

1356
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:06,759
Speaker 1: some kind of like scribble over the Yes, it looks

1357
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:09,840
Speaker 1: like a picture of your like, you know, kind of

1358
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:15,720
Speaker 1: not not your What how did I used to phrase it?

1359
01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:18,040
Speaker 1: I said, it looks like a picture of your suspicious

1360
01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:20,760
Speaker 1: solo trip to Thailand, Like it looks like you were

1361
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:23,960
Speaker 1: doing weird things with kids. It just it's a thing

1362
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,599
Speaker 1: that happens in child sex abuse images and so why

1363
01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:29,680
Speaker 1: would you recreate that on your Instagram and put that

1364
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:32,240
Speaker 1: in people's minds. And you know, I tend to think

1365
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:35,040
Speaker 1: one step ahead of everyone, but it just it just

1366
01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:38,000
Speaker 1: gives me to think. Like the baby is like, um,

1367
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:45,400
Speaker 1: a witness in a mob. What's it called witness program?

1368
01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:48,479
Speaker 1: They change his voice to Google, got got John Gotti?

1369
01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:53,360
Speaker 1: Did it? You know or something? I don't know what.

1370
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:58,839
Speaker 1: That's so funny, Google got it. It's so funny. Andrew,

1371
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:03,320
Speaker 1: you have to do that. That's too funny. Um, okay,

1372
01:13:03,400 --> 01:13:08,360
Speaker 1: let's yeah, what's your favorite thing on Instagram? I'm finding

1373
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:12,120
Speaker 1: very few and few like favorite things about it that

1374
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:15,080
Speaker 1: makes me happy. All right, So I like this that

1375
01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:17,919
Speaker 1: it's so easy to come. We have so many endless

1376
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:21,080
Speaker 1: bottom ones because I know and I mean that was

1377
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:23,599
Speaker 1: when I just pulled out. Its changed mine halfway through

1378
01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:26,439
Speaker 1: because I have so many more. Oh I have that

1379
01:13:27,080 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 1: I read. You know what it is. It's honestly, it

1380
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:35,880
Speaker 1: is more about my soul stuff because it's not being

1381
01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:39,519
Speaker 1: reading with a pessimistic brain and reading more so. My

1382
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:42,360
Speaker 1: buddy wrote, you had an extra T and pestimistic, but

1383
01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:51,519
Speaker 1: or you said pestimistic, I'm talking about insects, and um, yeah,

1384
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:55,960
Speaker 1: you're really into termite Instagram. There's a whole um. Yeah

1385
01:13:56,000 --> 01:14:01,280
Speaker 1: read this. So this fucking termite was eating my house? Right? No? No, okay,

1386
01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:05,920
Speaker 1: so no, this was from Okay. So I had a buddy.

1387
01:14:06,439 --> 01:14:09,840
Speaker 1: I've showed you him before. He's the restaurant tour in

1388
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:13,320
Speaker 1: uh In l A. He was my roommate in college.

1389
01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:15,880
Speaker 1: Oh right, Oh my god, we have stories for you

1390
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:18,160
Speaker 1: to tell about that guy. I mean, he's the best.

1391
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:20,040
Speaker 1: But he said he wanted to light your clothes on

1392
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:22,479
Speaker 1: fire because it smelled so bad in your room and

1393
01:14:22,479 --> 01:14:24,280
Speaker 1: you weren't watching them that. He was like, I'm dude,

1394
01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna burn all your clothes unless you watch wash them.

1395
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:29,280
Speaker 1: Didn't you say that to you? Yeah? I want to

1396
01:14:29,320 --> 01:14:31,439
Speaker 1: have him on the podcast, oh no, so badly, to

1397
01:14:31,479 --> 01:14:33,920
Speaker 1: interview him about his side of living with Andrew Colin.

1398
01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:36,000
Speaker 1: We would do it in a second. I mean we

1399
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,160
Speaker 1: we must. I mean I'm not talking. I'm saying this week,

1400
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 1: we're putting this into action. We need to get him

1401
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:43,000
Speaker 1: on the podcast this week because it will be just

1402
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:45,920
Speaker 1: one story. Canna be a Colin. We should call you

1403
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: know Wednesday, we should do story time with people who've

1404
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:53,439
Speaker 1: lived with Andrew. Jesus shaky. No, no, one's going no, no, no,

1405
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:55,040
Speaker 1: because we have a guest. Oh we have a guest

1406
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:56,680
Speaker 1: on Wednesday. Oh that's right, that's right. Oh I'm so

1407
01:14:56,720 --> 01:14:59,160
Speaker 1: excited for our guest. But listen, listen to this thing.

1408
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 1: So so he's he's silly, he's a silly guy who whatever,

1409
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:05,639
Speaker 1: But okay, so he goes. I woke up this morning

1410
01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:09,400
Speaker 1: and my heart was literally full the last eighteen months.

1411
01:15:10,280 --> 01:15:12,519
Speaker 1: I'm already having a problem with people using literally when

1412
01:15:12,520 --> 01:15:17,160
Speaker 1: it okay, um, but I'm just saying that's a perfect

1413
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:20,120
Speaker 1: example of the wrong muse of literally. Yeah, so my

1414
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:24,320
Speaker 1: heart was kind of full. The last eighteen months has

1415
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:26,800
Speaker 1: been trying for so many people. I feel fortunate every

1416
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:29,120
Speaker 1: day to be alive, healthy, and surrounded by so many

1417
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:32,640
Speaker 1: wonderful people. Yesterday I was reminded of this sentence. It's

1418
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:38,760
Speaker 1: a little redundant, keep going, Yesterday, I'm just being an

1419
01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:42,519
Speaker 1: English teacher for the captain already I'm annoyed. Yesterday I

1420
01:15:42,600 --> 01:15:44,960
Speaker 1: was reminded of this yet again, as I received tons

1421
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:48,240
Speaker 1: of beautiful birthday cards, phone calls, tax and emails from family,

1422
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:51,040
Speaker 1: friends and colleagues. I am blessed to have such wonderful

1423
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:53,760
Speaker 1: thoughtful people in my life. Hope everyone has a great

1424
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:58,519
Speaker 1: holiday weekend. We deserve it. And yes, if I've read this,

1425
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:04,080
Speaker 1: maybe even today someone else, I would be like, oh God,

1426
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:08,360
Speaker 1: like stop with the like, um not, what's it called?

1427
01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:14,439
Speaker 1: Like virtue or like saccharin like uh like almost like

1428
01:16:14,439 --> 01:16:19,400
Speaker 1: too positive like self healthy kind of Yeah, everyone lived

1429
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:21,280
Speaker 1: your life to the best. But it just sounded like

1430
01:16:21,320 --> 01:16:24,240
Speaker 1: he was having a moment of gratitude. Yeah, and it's

1431
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,839
Speaker 1: like it's okay to just not have to twist it

1432
01:16:26,960 --> 01:16:31,320
Speaker 1: or whatever or be make it. But at the end,

1433
01:16:31,360 --> 01:16:33,040
Speaker 1: if you wrote that eption, you would put a joke

1434
01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:35,120
Speaker 1: at that because we need to cut it with a joke. Yeah,

1435
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:37,680
Speaker 1: of course. And that sucks because I sometimes I just

1436
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:40,840
Speaker 1: want to be Sincere. I know, that's what I'm talking about, dude.

1437
01:16:41,280 --> 01:16:47,040
Speaker 1: So Instagram, I like Sincere posts that that unless I

1438
01:16:47,160 --> 01:16:49,240
Speaker 1: read them and I'm like, oh, this motherfucker is just

1439
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:51,360
Speaker 1: trying to get legs and stuff. I really felt like

1440
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:54,200
Speaker 1: some of these are like actually very pure, but if

1441
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:57,080
Speaker 1: they're not, I'll still rip you apart. Yeah, you know,

1442
01:16:57,360 --> 01:17:00,640
Speaker 1: I'm ready. There's this great new girl on in Instagram

1443
01:17:00,680 --> 01:17:03,200
Speaker 1: that everyone's sending to each other. I mean I've gotten

1444
01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:06,600
Speaker 1: people sending to her to me countless times, and she

1445
01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:09,920
Speaker 1: kind of makes fun of that kind of sincere stuff

1446
01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:15,160
Speaker 1: that actresses do. She just does actresses on Instagram, and

1447
01:17:15,400 --> 01:17:18,559
Speaker 1: her name is got people center to it all the time.

1448
01:17:19,160 --> 01:17:21,719
Speaker 1: Where is it? Where is it? Her name is away

1449
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:24,200
Speaker 1: center to NYA. Hold on one second, I'm gonna occur up.

1450
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:26,120
Speaker 1: I just want to play a little bit of what

1451
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:30,120
Speaker 1: she did, and people should follow her. Her name is

1452
01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:33,800
Speaker 1: Hi Caitlin Riley c A I T L I N

1453
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:37,240
Speaker 1: Riley r E I L L Y. And this is this.

1454
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:41,280
Speaker 1: She does impressions of actresses, like just doing things on Instagram.

1455
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:43,519
Speaker 1: She's a really good actress herself. But she has a

1456
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:45,640
Speaker 1: huge following now. I mean every day she has like

1457
01:17:45,680 --> 01:17:49,200
Speaker 1: thirty thousand new followers. Um, Hi Caitlin Riley. So this

1458
01:17:49,280 --> 01:17:55,360
Speaker 1: is her actress on Instagram getting quote unquote personal. Okay,

1459
01:17:56,760 --> 01:18:04,680
Speaker 1: hey guys, in a minute, how are you? How are

1460
01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:09,599
Speaker 1: my lovely? I hope that everyone's walking into the light

1461
01:18:09,920 --> 01:18:14,559
Speaker 1: or should I say happiness. I'm just sitting here on

1462
01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,599
Speaker 1: my white bouclet sofa. My puppers is in the corner

1463
01:18:19,040 --> 01:18:23,680
Speaker 1: corn and happers. She does corner. I just wanted to

1464
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:29,439
Speaker 1: share something with you guys, something that I so I

1465
01:18:29,439 --> 01:18:32,640
Speaker 1: didn't think I was getting, get a good emotional um,

1466
01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:35,800
Speaker 1: something that I've been struggling with every day. I wanted

1467
01:18:35,840 --> 01:18:39,080
Speaker 1: to get real and row with you, um real and raw,

1468
01:18:39,520 --> 01:18:51,120
Speaker 1: I I have a massive butth hole. So I just yeah,

1469
01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:54,960
Speaker 1: that reminded me of that like fox sincere. Your friend

1470
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:57,559
Speaker 1: did like a real sincere, that fox sincere thing of

1471
01:18:57,640 --> 01:19:01,720
Speaker 1: like and and the way she said corn this is

1472
01:19:01,880 --> 01:19:04,080
Speaker 1: actually a thing we can talk about in final thought.

1473
01:19:04,479 --> 01:19:09,080
Speaker 1: But also, um we I created that in high school

1474
01:19:09,080 --> 01:19:11,240
Speaker 1: with my friends. We also created something else called a girl.

1475
01:19:11,479 --> 01:19:13,559
Speaker 1: And I'll just get into it now. Sometimes Noah has one,

1476
01:19:13,840 --> 01:19:17,000
Speaker 1: but it's not an affect. It's just the way she talks.

1477
01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:19,599
Speaker 1: But sometimes people put on this affect because it makes

1478
01:19:19,640 --> 01:19:22,599
Speaker 1: them sound crisp and crunchy, and it's just a way

1479
01:19:22,640 --> 01:19:24,960
Speaker 1: to girl. And we called it a girl because when

1480
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:28,040
Speaker 1: you say like, burger king, it's just like a gerger

1481
01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:33,640
Speaker 1: burger burger gap baby burger burger gerber baby burger king.

1482
01:19:34,439 --> 01:19:37,200
Speaker 1: And she has a girl when she said corner and

1483
01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:39,320
Speaker 1: you can do it with any kind of er or

1484
01:19:40,280 --> 01:19:45,639
Speaker 1: and um, so no will you say burger king burger king,

1485
01:19:45,760 --> 01:19:48,000
Speaker 1: So I have a little bit of bur bur how

1486
01:19:48,040 --> 01:19:51,760
Speaker 1: do you say burger king? Burger burger burgers like a

1487
01:19:51,840 --> 01:19:55,240
Speaker 1: burg and yours is a burg like it's sounds it

1488
01:19:55,280 --> 01:19:57,960
Speaker 1: sounds good. That's why people affect it, use it to

1489
01:19:58,120 --> 01:20:01,840
Speaker 1: like manipulate And a lot of actresses will talk like

1490
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,920
Speaker 1: this just to sound like crunchy and crispy, and it's

1491
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:07,679
Speaker 1: called a girl and and a lot of times people

1492
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,000
Speaker 1: just naturally out of this and it's not a manipulative tool.

1493
01:20:10,080 --> 01:20:11,960
Speaker 1: But she was using it in that and I loved

1494
01:20:11,960 --> 01:20:14,879
Speaker 1: that she chose to say my poppers in the corner.

1495
01:20:15,439 --> 01:20:17,920
Speaker 1: It was like she dipped into it. And it's just

1496
01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:22,120
Speaker 1: such a perfect little She's a really good actress. Uh again,

1497
01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:24,680
Speaker 1: it's hi, Hi, Caitlin Riley. No, what's your number one

1498
01:20:24,680 --> 01:20:28,160
Speaker 1: thing on Instagram? My number one thing on Instagram very

1499
01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:35,000
Speaker 1: quickly is accounts of two different species of animals coexisting,

1500
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:40,320
Speaker 1: and one in particular is Raylan Underscore the Underscore Dog.

1501
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:43,439
Speaker 1: It's this like older dog who takes care of foster

1502
01:20:43,520 --> 01:20:48,480
Speaker 1: kittens and most recently, um he had like little ducklings

1503
01:20:48,520 --> 01:20:52,880
Speaker 1: that he was caring and r a y l A

1504
01:20:53,200 --> 01:20:58,000
Speaker 1: n okay. Raylan the dog eighty one followers, and it

1505
01:20:58,120 --> 01:21:00,560
Speaker 1: takes careful little kittens, which, by the way, you have

1506
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:04,480
Speaker 1: a new cat right not yet, I'm getting him. On Wednesday,

1507
01:21:07,439 --> 01:21:10,400
Speaker 1: I forgot what you were doing top one and and

1508
01:21:10,439 --> 01:21:15,120
Speaker 1: I thought, no, just complaining about two animals. Oh my god,

1509
01:21:14,280 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 1: it's so angry over here. This is set to the

1510
01:21:18,439 --> 01:21:21,479
Speaker 1: music from Always Sunny. But it's this dog who's just

1511
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:24,640
Speaker 1: kind of tolerating a little kitten playing with it. So

1512
01:21:24,720 --> 01:21:26,559
Speaker 1: this dog just to sing on him is just like

1513
01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:30,880
Speaker 1: friends with little like little like you know, rescued cats. Yeah,

1514
01:21:30,960 --> 01:21:33,479
Speaker 1: so he well I guess he doesn't foster them. His

1515
01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:36,839
Speaker 1: parents do. But it's just such a sweet account to follow.

1516
01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:39,479
Speaker 1: It just always my heart feel warm. I love that.

1517
01:21:39,720 --> 01:21:43,080
Speaker 1: No um, I will say that that was one of

1518
01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:45,400
Speaker 1: my favorite posts ever was from the Dodo, which is

1519
01:21:45,439 --> 01:21:47,880
Speaker 1: often account that posts like sweet animal videos that break

1520
01:21:47,920 --> 01:21:49,400
Speaker 1: your heart. And I think I talked about it, but

1521
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:53,160
Speaker 1: but that be video was like the most that that

1522
01:21:53,240 --> 01:21:54,719
Speaker 1: brought tears in my eyes in a way. I didn't

1523
01:21:54,760 --> 01:21:57,439
Speaker 1: understand that like a bumblebee without wings that only lives

1524
01:21:57,439 --> 01:21:59,719
Speaker 1: a month, that these people adopted like was so beautiful

1525
01:22:00,280 --> 01:22:03,920
Speaker 1: and like so had such a personality and like liked music,

1526
01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:06,240
Speaker 1: and when it died, I started sobbing. I mean, and

1527
01:22:06,280 --> 01:22:07,800
Speaker 1: it wasn't because I was about to be on my period.

1528
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:11,040
Speaker 1: It just like it was really heart wrenching this video,

1529
01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:12,880
Speaker 1: and so go check that out. It's on the Dodo

1530
01:22:13,240 --> 01:22:16,519
Speaker 1: and it was It's a bumblebee. My favorite thing on

1531
01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:21,240
Speaker 1: Instagram currently is um the real I don't do TikTok

1532
01:22:21,280 --> 01:22:24,559
Speaker 1: because it's too addicting, so I will sometimes indulge in reels,

1533
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:28,440
Speaker 1: which is their version of TikTok, and um my Instagram

1534
01:22:28,479 --> 01:22:30,759
Speaker 1: knows very much how much I care about Taylor Swift

1535
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:34,840
Speaker 1: and so it will just be really great moments from

1536
01:22:34,840 --> 01:22:38,720
Speaker 1: her life performances, and um, I don't really watch her

1537
01:22:38,760 --> 01:22:42,080
Speaker 1: interviews that much because I get nervous when she talks

1538
01:22:42,080 --> 01:22:44,200
Speaker 1: because I just want her. I have such a her

1539
01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:46,240
Speaker 1: on a pedestal that if she says something when she

1540
01:22:46,280 --> 01:22:48,320
Speaker 1: talks that I don't like, like sometimes I'll read the caption.

1541
01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:50,960
Speaker 1: She says a lot of amazing things, like the thing

1542
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:53,880
Speaker 1: she said about like when a woman is a man

1543
01:22:54,920 --> 01:22:59,080
Speaker 1: is uh, a man plans ahead, a woman is calculating

1544
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:03,519
Speaker 1: a man and a woman is like you know, a bitch.

1545
01:23:03,680 --> 01:23:05,760
Speaker 1: A man knows what he wants like, she'll say she

1546
01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:08,800
Speaker 1: has good like soundbites for oh, she goes I was

1547
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:11,800
Speaker 1: tired of being a hanger for clothes. She was like,

1548
01:23:11,840 --> 01:23:15,120
Speaker 1: that's not why, that's not why my body exists. I'm

1549
01:23:15,160 --> 01:23:17,200
Speaker 1: not like a I think a lot of times women

1550
01:23:17,280 --> 01:23:20,639
Speaker 1: just are like mannequins for fashion, and it's like, that's

1551
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:23,519
Speaker 1: not me. I just there's certain things that she I mean,

1552
01:23:23,520 --> 01:23:26,719
Speaker 1: she's a poet, she's amazing. But just sometimes I'll see

1553
01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:29,200
Speaker 1: her just like a reel of her, like I never

1554
01:23:29,280 --> 01:23:32,240
Speaker 1: trust in narcissist because they love me, and she's like

1555
01:23:32,280 --> 01:23:34,800
Speaker 1: boom boom boom, and it's just like, I don't know,

1556
01:23:35,040 --> 01:23:36,719
Speaker 1: you know how much I care about her and feel

1557
01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:39,200
Speaker 1: about her. So when I go on reel sometimes I

1558
01:23:39,320 --> 01:23:43,320
Speaker 1: really get inspired by just like these these moments. And

1559
01:23:43,360 --> 01:23:46,479
Speaker 1: then you know, and they'll throw in like a Selena

1560
01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:48,840
Speaker 1: Gomez here and there, and I'll quickly and then I

1561
01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:50,640
Speaker 1: want to teach the algorithm because I'm like, I'm not

1562
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:54,000
Speaker 1: ready for Selena. You can inject some Miley. Miley is

1563
01:23:54,520 --> 01:23:56,280
Speaker 1: coming into my life in a way that I'm like,

1564
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:59,160
Speaker 1: I really because she has a husky voice, and I

1565
01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:00,920
Speaker 1: think that like maybe I can like figure out how

1566
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:03,519
Speaker 1: things like her, and so maybe, like sometimes I really

1567
01:24:03,520 --> 01:24:05,840
Speaker 1: do want to watch Molly, and I do think she's

1568
01:24:05,840 --> 01:24:08,479
Speaker 1: an amazing performer and like said, does really crazy things

1569
01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:13,360
Speaker 1: on Instagram. And I like Miley now because she um,

1570
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:15,160
Speaker 1: you know, she went through that phase where she's grinding

1571
01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:17,400
Speaker 1: on Robin Thick and she's just like the tongue out

1572
01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:20,519
Speaker 1: and like rubbing things on her vagina and smoking weed

1573
01:24:20,680 --> 01:24:24,360
Speaker 1: and just like you know, being anti Hannah Montana. And

1574
01:24:24,400 --> 01:24:28,280
Speaker 1: then she stopped smoking weed and now she's found a

1575
01:24:28,280 --> 01:24:31,800
Speaker 1: place where she's still extremely sexual and wild and uninhibited,

1576
01:24:31,960 --> 01:24:34,240
Speaker 1: but she's not trying too hard, and I just like

1577
01:24:34,680 --> 01:24:37,120
Speaker 1: And she has merch that says I hate Miley Cyrus

1578
01:24:37,200 --> 01:24:39,920
Speaker 1: or Miley sucks, and she wears her own merch and

1579
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:41,400
Speaker 1: that makes me want to wear my own merch because

1580
01:24:41,439 --> 01:24:43,720
Speaker 1: my march is fucking sick right now, you guys. The

1581
01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:45,519
Speaker 1: only reason I'm not wearing my merch every day is

1582
01:24:45,520 --> 01:24:47,360
Speaker 1: because it has my face on it. It It feels ridiculous.

1583
01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:49,080
Speaker 1: But my march is so good. If you come to

1584
01:24:49,120 --> 01:24:51,200
Speaker 1: my shows, please get a shirt, and like know that

1585
01:24:51,280 --> 01:24:54,280
Speaker 1: I design this as something I would wear, and I'm like, mad,

1586
01:24:54,320 --> 01:24:59,400
Speaker 1: I can't wear my own merch. Final thought. I gave

1587
01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:03,519
Speaker 1: the best gift I have ever given in my life

1588
01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:10,160
Speaker 1: this weekend, and it is inspired by um a Conan

1589
01:25:11,640 --> 01:25:14,040
Speaker 1: video that I posted. So. A guy named Brian Stack

1590
01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:16,880
Speaker 1: is one of the most brilliant comedy writers of all time.

1591
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:19,920
Speaker 1: He worked on Conan for over twenty years. He started

1592
01:25:19,920 --> 01:25:21,080
Speaker 1: with him at Late Night. I don't know if he

1593
01:25:21,160 --> 01:25:23,840
Speaker 1: started there, but he um had been at Late Night

1594
01:25:23,920 --> 01:25:27,000
Speaker 1: for ever, went with him to the Tonight show, then

1595
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:29,800
Speaker 1: went with him to TBS and he, uh, I think

1596
01:25:29,800 --> 01:25:31,920
Speaker 1: moved to Cold Bet. I don't know if he's still there,

1597
01:25:32,160 --> 01:25:36,439
Speaker 1: but he moved to Cold Bet. Um, you know whatever,

1598
01:25:36,479 --> 01:25:38,599
Speaker 1: He's just look one of the most prolific things that

1599
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:40,880
Speaker 1: you know, classic Conan bits that you know if you

1600
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:43,559
Speaker 1: know Conan, which you should know him if you don't, um,

1601
01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:49,559
Speaker 1: uh crooner, Sorry, I'm looking this up kind of Um.

1602
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:52,760
Speaker 1: He does this bit on Conan that me and my

1603
01:25:52,760 --> 01:25:55,800
Speaker 1: friend had become recently obsessed with. My friend just turned

1604
01:25:55,800 --> 01:26:01,160
Speaker 1: forty yesterday. My ex boyfriend Chris convey Um and he

1605
01:26:01,360 --> 01:26:03,360
Speaker 1: in the past couple of weeks we've been hanging out

1606
01:26:03,400 --> 01:26:05,720
Speaker 1: and he's been like showing me. We we've both been

1607
01:26:05,720 --> 01:26:08,719
Speaker 1: getting into this this bit we knew about already on Conan.

1608
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:10,600
Speaker 1: Andrew knows it well because I made him watch it

1609
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:13,559
Speaker 1: the other day. It's back in the and it's he's

1610
01:26:13,560 --> 01:26:15,639
Speaker 1: done it on Conan back in the late night days.

1611
01:26:15,720 --> 01:26:17,400
Speaker 1: Because a lot of the bits that they did on

1612
01:26:17,479 --> 01:26:20,200
Speaker 1: Late Night on NBC, when Conan moved to TBS, they

1613
01:26:20,240 --> 01:26:22,759
Speaker 1: had to dump. They couldn't recreate those bits. They couldn't

1614
01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:25,760
Speaker 1: bring those characters around because they were, you know, intellectual

1615
01:26:25,800 --> 01:26:29,559
Speaker 1: property of NBC. So this only existed in the late

1616
01:26:29,680 --> 01:26:34,080
Speaker 1: night I think Conan switched to you know, Late uh TBS,

1617
01:26:34,120 --> 01:26:36,639
Speaker 1: you know, twelve years ago or something. So this character

1618
01:26:36,640 --> 01:26:39,080
Speaker 1: has not been on TVs in twelve years. But there's

1619
01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:42,080
Speaker 1: all these YouTube complations and it's called Artie Kendall, the

1620
01:26:42,160 --> 01:26:45,519
Speaker 1: Singing Ghost. So what would happen was Conan would be

1621
01:26:45,520 --> 01:26:47,760
Speaker 1: in studio and it would be between guests and he

1622
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:50,000
Speaker 1: would be like, guys, our next guest, next week, you

1623
01:26:50,040 --> 01:26:51,800
Speaker 1: gotta check on the shows. We're gonna have Kanye West,

1624
01:26:51,800 --> 01:26:53,439
Speaker 1: we're gonna have Mindy Kaling. And then all of a sudden,

1625
01:26:53,439 --> 01:26:57,800
Speaker 1: you're here ba ba boo boo, and he'd be like,

1626
01:26:57,880 --> 01:26:59,240
Speaker 1: what is that? And then all of a sudden, this

1627
01:26:59,360 --> 01:27:01,680
Speaker 1: like kind of ghost figure would appeared next to him,

1628
01:27:01,680 --> 01:27:04,240
Speaker 1: and it's Brian Stack who created this character called Alretie Kendall.

1629
01:27:04,280 --> 01:27:06,679
Speaker 1: The croon and ghost already would then explain to Conan,

1630
01:27:06,720 --> 01:27:10,320
Speaker 1: I was a nineteen thirties singer and I got started

1631
01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:12,439
Speaker 1: here at this NBC studio, and and Conan would say,

1632
01:27:12,439 --> 01:27:14,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, this used to be an old radio studio.

1633
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:15,800
Speaker 1: That's so cool, and he goes, yeah, I wrote all

1634
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:18,360
Speaker 1: my own songs actually, and I'm sure my old songs

1635
01:27:18,360 --> 01:27:20,720
Speaker 1: would not a really a lot corny er now and

1636
01:27:20,760 --> 01:27:23,160
Speaker 1: wouldn't really hold up kind of thing. And then he

1637
01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:24,680
Speaker 1: would go out and go and goes, no, I think

1638
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:26,519
Speaker 1: we'd love to hear these songs. So he had this

1639
01:27:26,560 --> 01:27:29,479
Speaker 1: old timey like microphone. He's in this like nineteen thirties outfit,

1640
01:27:29,880 --> 01:27:32,000
Speaker 1: and he would sing these songs. And this is um

1641
01:27:32,040 --> 01:27:34,439
Speaker 1: an example of one of the songs he would sing.

1642
01:27:34,600 --> 01:27:37,120
Speaker 1: He would always start off by being singing a song

1643
01:27:37,160 --> 01:27:39,280
Speaker 1: that was a little bit controversial, like it would be

1644
01:27:39,320 --> 01:27:43,320
Speaker 1: talking about you know, this guy was just the themes

1645
01:27:43,320 --> 01:27:45,040
Speaker 1: of the ninety thirties. The joke is that in the

1646
01:27:45,080 --> 01:27:49,240
Speaker 1: ninety thirties they're singing about racist and misogynistic, like thing misogynists.

1647
01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:52,160
Speaker 1: We know that word is interchangeable things. And this ghost

1648
01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:54,000
Speaker 1: would just sing a song that he wrote about like

1649
01:27:54,040 --> 01:27:55,559
Speaker 1: the worst things. So this one is a song for

1650
01:27:55,600 --> 01:28:05,120
Speaker 1: the ladies. Shouldn't feel out of things, should all be

1651
01:28:05,400 --> 01:28:13,160
Speaker 1: mindless zombies, resting thing. We have ribbons in that catatonic

1652
01:28:13,280 --> 01:28:19,960
Speaker 1: stafum in case they start the sting and then it

1653
01:28:19,960 --> 01:28:22,080
Speaker 1: would goes, that's the worst song ever, and it would

1654
01:28:22,080 --> 01:28:24,640
Speaker 1: just get it's so he would sing these songs. And

1655
01:28:24,680 --> 01:28:27,040
Speaker 1: my friend Chris and I my ex boyfriend Chris, we

1656
01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:29,120
Speaker 1: were were obsessed with this. We've been watching it for

1657
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:32,320
Speaker 1: weeks and weeks. I meditated the other day. I was

1658
01:28:32,320 --> 01:28:33,559
Speaker 1: trying to think of a good gift to give him,

1659
01:28:33,560 --> 01:28:35,920
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking of cameos, like what cameo could I buy?

1660
01:28:35,920 --> 01:28:37,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, I'd be amazing

1661
01:28:37,120 --> 01:28:38,800
Speaker 1: if I could like reach out to Conan and have

1662
01:28:38,920 --> 01:28:41,559
Speaker 1: him same message, because Chris, let's Conan. And then I go,

1663
01:28:41,640 --> 01:28:44,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, I've I've d M with Brian Stack,

1664
01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:47,400
Speaker 1: the guy that created that character what if? And and

1665
01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:50,160
Speaker 1: Chris's brother was putting together a birthday compilation video of

1666
01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:52,160
Speaker 1: all of his friends making a video for Chris and

1667
01:28:52,200 --> 01:28:54,720
Speaker 1: it would go together like you know, like everyone does

1668
01:28:54,720 --> 01:28:59,280
Speaker 1: in those things. So I I wrote a bit. I

1669
01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:02,120
Speaker 1: wrote an entire a sketch with three songs, an entire

1670
01:29:02,200 --> 01:29:05,840
Speaker 1: like talking in between with Artie Kendall. I pitched it

1671
01:29:05,880 --> 01:29:08,479
Speaker 1: to Bryan Stack. He was on board. I filmed it.

1672
01:29:08,880 --> 01:29:12,200
Speaker 1: I had um Carlyle's boyfriend Chase edited together to make

1673
01:29:12,240 --> 01:29:14,320
Speaker 1: him appear as a ghost, and put music behind it.

1674
01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:17,479
Speaker 1: And Chris didn't even know this was possible. I mean,

1675
01:29:17,479 --> 01:29:19,280
Speaker 1: this guy hasn't been on TVs for fifteen years since

1676
01:29:19,360 --> 01:29:24,040
Speaker 1: an old bit from comedy. He's yeah. Brian Stack got

1677
01:29:24,080 --> 01:29:25,679
Speaker 1: on with me. He did it for free. I offered

1678
01:29:25,720 --> 01:29:27,200
Speaker 1: him when he was like, no, I'm happy to do it.

1679
01:29:27,240 --> 01:29:29,000
Speaker 1: He loved what I wrote. I got to write the

1680
01:29:29,000 --> 01:29:31,599
Speaker 1: sketch that it was for one of my favorite people

1681
01:29:31,680 --> 01:29:34,000
Speaker 1: of all favorite comedic voices of all time. I get

1682
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:36,719
Speaker 1: to play the coning character of the street character. It's

1683
01:29:36,840 --> 01:29:39,920
Speaker 1: so funny. And I watched it last night as Chris

1684
01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:42,840
Speaker 1: was watching it. So his brother called me and gave

1685
01:29:42,920 --> 01:29:44,439
Speaker 1: the phone to Chris, and Chris is like, okay, I'm

1686
01:29:44,439 --> 01:29:45,840
Speaker 1: about to put on your video. You know, my whole

1687
01:29:45,840 --> 01:29:47,800
Speaker 1: family's here like this isn't inappropriate, and I was like,

1688
01:29:47,960 --> 01:29:49,640
Speaker 1: it actually was a challenge to write something that I

1689
01:29:49,680 --> 01:29:51,640
Speaker 1: knew his mom and his nephews would be in the

1690
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:54,879
Speaker 1: room and see that was also like racist and sexist

1691
01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:56,800
Speaker 1: and all the things that this ghost is. And you

1692
01:29:56,840 --> 01:30:00,599
Speaker 1: guys his face when he heard, because the ghost always

1693
01:30:00,600 --> 01:30:04,000
Speaker 1: introduces himself in these twenty sketches, we know Codin's always

1694
01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:08,559
Speaker 1: talking and then the ghost goes bob boo. So when

1695
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:12,040
Speaker 1: when I'm watching it, Chris's face, He's holding the camera

1696
01:30:12,080 --> 01:30:14,040
Speaker 1: and I'm watching him watching me on the screen, and

1697
01:30:14,040 --> 01:30:15,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, Chris, I'm sorry I can't be there

1698
01:30:15,680 --> 01:30:17,559
Speaker 1: for your birthday. I care so much about you. I'm

1699
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:18,720
Speaker 1: so glad you're in my life. And then all of

1700
01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:23,920
Speaker 1: a sudden, you and Chris just goes like his face

1701
01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:26,719
Speaker 1: was like, you know, he just won a car on Oprah.

1702
01:30:26,760 --> 01:30:29,280
Speaker 1: He could not believe it was like it was reuniting

1703
01:30:29,320 --> 01:30:32,439
Speaker 1: him with his long lost best friend. It was the

1704
01:30:32,479 --> 01:30:34,760
Speaker 1: best surprise I've ever given. He followed it up and

1705
01:30:34,800 --> 01:30:37,240
Speaker 1: said he can't stop thinking about it. He was like,

1706
01:30:37,680 --> 01:30:39,320
Speaker 1: and I even told Brian Stackman with this, I go,

1707
01:30:39,400 --> 01:30:40,920
Speaker 1: I think this is better than if I gave him

1708
01:30:40,920 --> 01:30:43,080
Speaker 1: a tesla, Like, I'm not even joking you, this is

1709
01:30:43,200 --> 01:30:46,639
Speaker 1: and it was just the most gratifying gift to give.

1710
01:30:46,720 --> 01:30:48,639
Speaker 1: So like, I just want to say that this cost

1711
01:30:48,680 --> 01:30:50,960
Speaker 1: me nothing. And it did cost me asking someone I

1712
01:30:50,960 --> 01:30:53,200
Speaker 1: really care about for a favor. But you can do

1713
01:30:53,439 --> 01:30:56,040
Speaker 1: if you think outside the box and you're famous enough

1714
01:30:56,040 --> 01:30:57,800
Speaker 1: to be able to d m with people who wrote

1715
01:30:57,800 --> 01:31:01,639
Speaker 1: for Goman, you know, I mean, like, obviously there's things

1716
01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:03,679
Speaker 1: that I got to do in this circumstance that led

1717
01:31:03,680 --> 01:31:06,960
Speaker 1: it to it. But you know, I could have buying

1718
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:08,840
Speaker 1: him a car and putting a ribbon on it and

1719
01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:11,040
Speaker 1: surprising him wouldn't have been as good as the reaction.

1720
01:31:11,360 --> 01:31:12,720
Speaker 1: And I told my mom this, I go, this bust

1721
01:31:12,720 --> 01:31:14,320
Speaker 1: gift I've ever given. She goes, you bought me a car,

1722
01:31:14,360 --> 01:31:16,080
Speaker 1: and I go, it's honestly better than that. Like the

1723
01:31:16,120 --> 01:31:18,080
Speaker 1: surprise on his face was better than me being like,

1724
01:31:18,360 --> 01:31:22,800
Speaker 1: pick out a car, Mom. It is true of the

1725
01:31:22,880 --> 01:31:27,439
Speaker 1: surprise too, was like, oh, like this might be no, no, no,

1726
01:31:27,479 --> 01:31:30,280
Speaker 1: because I told him beforehand it's totally p g And

1727
01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:32,720
Speaker 1: let me just say, like when I said at the

1728
01:31:32,760 --> 01:31:34,080
Speaker 1: top of the show that I wanted to get away

1729
01:31:34,120 --> 01:31:36,840
Speaker 1: from comedy and get into self help. I'm finding now

1730
01:31:36,880 --> 01:31:40,440
Speaker 1: after writing that Conan sketch, which is so comedy it's absurdest,

1731
01:31:40,479 --> 01:31:42,759
Speaker 1: you know, It's like it's not even trying to say anything,

1732
01:31:42,760 --> 01:31:46,639
Speaker 1: it's trying to talk about that. I'm saying that. Now

1733
01:31:46,680 --> 01:31:48,840
Speaker 1: I know I can write that, and I think I

1734
01:31:48,880 --> 01:31:52,320
Speaker 1: want to. I want to divide my comedy into sketch

1735
01:31:52,960 --> 01:31:55,880
Speaker 1: and self help and like do too. So I'm not

1736
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:58,120
Speaker 1: gonna quit comedy. But I just really just learned for

1737
01:31:58,160 --> 01:31:59,920
Speaker 1: the first time ever that I'm good at writing sketch

1738
01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:01,880
Speaker 1: as I've never tried because I was always scared because

1739
01:32:01,920 --> 01:32:03,800
Speaker 1: I thought if I tried, I would fail. And a

1740
01:32:03,880 --> 01:32:05,800
Speaker 1: birthday gift forced me to do something that I was

1741
01:32:05,880 --> 01:32:09,120
Speaker 1: scared to do. I also yeah, so that, Um, that's

1742
01:32:09,160 --> 01:32:10,920
Speaker 1: the final thought. I gotta go. We're way over time.

1743
01:32:10,920 --> 01:32:13,360
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you tomorrow

1744
01:32:13,360 --> 01:32:16,240
Speaker 1: on the podcast and um join the subretd subred at

1745
01:32:16,280 --> 01:32:19,599
Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer Besties. Thank you to um Cozy Wall who

1746
01:32:19,680 --> 01:32:23,240
Speaker 1: started that, and UM Andrew will see you tomorrow and

1747
01:32:23,320 --> 01:32:25,120
Speaker 1: studio have fun with Brenna and we missed you so much.

1748
01:32:25,120 --> 01:32:29,280
Speaker 1: Brenna baby, and she's right there. Andrew you don't keep

1749
01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:33,960
Speaker 1: here okay, Love you Brenna, and thank you Noah, thank

1750
01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:36,960
Speaker 1: you everyone, and thank you besties. Don't be cut out

1751
01:32:37,000 --> 01:32:44,040
Speaker 1: there and see tomorrow. I was trying to try to

1752
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:46,080
Speaker 1: do uh,