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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our.

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Speaker 2: Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are

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Speaker 2: a sibling Railvalry.

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Speaker 1: No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth, revelry.

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Speaker 2: That's good. So the Oliver Hudson here, and I'm just

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Speaker 2: gonna get I'm not getting it into my life, you know.

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Speaker 2: Usually I'll do a little intro and get into my

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Speaker 2: life whatever. But I'm very excited to get to the

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Speaker 2: guests that's in the waiting room right now. And this

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Speaker 2: person is James Doty. He's a neuroscientist. He's a stand

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Speaker 2: for is extremely smart. But he's getting into this world

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Speaker 2: talking about this world of manifestation and he's just written

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Speaker 2: a book that we're going to talk about as well.

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Speaker 2: Manifesting has been something that is definitely hot right now,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like everyone's like, oh, you

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Speaker 2: need to manifest this. And my wife has a friend

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Speaker 2: who lives across the street. It's like one of her

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Speaker 2: best friends, and she's always manifesting things. And we were skiing,

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Speaker 2: you know, in Utah, and its snowed like twenty four inches,

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Speaker 2: and she goes, see like I manifested this. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I mean, come on, I mean, you can't manifest the snow,

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Speaker 2: you know. So I'm excited to talk to James to

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Speaker 2: get into sort of the neuroscience behind it and really

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Speaker 2: what it means, you know what I mean, Like, it's

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Speaker 2: not even though his book has the word magic in it,

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Speaker 2: it seems like there's a magical element, but you are

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Speaker 2: creating this magic like this is about your drive, you know.

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Speaker 2: It's about the power of sort of positive thinking and

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Speaker 2: putting yourself in the right mind space to then accomplish

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Speaker 2: the things that you want to accomplish. Anyway, You there, buddy.

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Speaker 3: I'm here man. How are you just fucking peachy? How

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Speaker 3: about good?

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Speaker 2: I'm fucking pretty peachy too. You know, my mom called me,

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Speaker 2: and of course you always got to take mom's calls. Yep.

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Speaker 2: I told her I was talking to you. You know,

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Speaker 2: she has a foundation called mind Up that she has

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Speaker 2: been you know, doing for twenty plus years.

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Speaker 3: I'm very familiar.

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Speaker 2: Oh great, so she was. I said, you just come

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Speaker 2: on the show with me right now, talk to James.

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Speaker 2: But she wants to connect. So once we finished, I

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Speaker 2: would love to give you her information because she would

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Speaker 2: love to have conversations with you. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting our passive crossed innumerable times although

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Speaker 3: we've never met, I don't think. And because I've been

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Speaker 3: in the meditation compassion space for well a few decades myself. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and yeah, so I've been at innumerable events where work

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Speaker 3: she's been doing has been highlighted or she's been there.

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Speaker 3: But you know, the fates have never allowed that to happen, and.

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Speaker 2: Well now it has.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's that's wonderful. I appreciate that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she has been sort of in the world of manifestations,

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Speaker 2: I mean for a million years. I mean, this is

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Speaker 2: she she operates and lives this way, you know, and

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Speaker 2: to get into all of this, Yeah, I was even

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Speaker 2: saying it sort of when I was in my intro.

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Speaker 2: It feels like this idea of being manifesting is is

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Speaker 2: sort of buzzy right now, everyone's talking about it. You know.

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Speaker 2: My wife's friend I was just saying this that she

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Speaker 2: manifested twenty four inches of powder in Utah. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, Sam, I mean it fucking snowed, all right,

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Speaker 2: Like you didn't create the snow, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: You know the problem with this is that what do

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Speaker 3: they do when it doesn't happen?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: They never talk about when it didn't happen. They only

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Speaker 3: talked about Oh see, I manifested this. But what can

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Speaker 3: you say?

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Speaker 2: No, But like, let's get into the science behind it,

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Speaker 2: because you know, just to I'm I'm a very open person.

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Speaker 2: I consider myself a spiritual person. I don't believe in

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Speaker 2: God necessarily, I believe in higher energies. I believe that

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Speaker 2: we can actually scientifically know that we can sort of

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Speaker 2: change our neurow pathways. You know, I've been meditator for

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Speaker 2: a while, but I wish I was more consistent because

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Speaker 2: I know how it makes me feel when I am consistent,

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Speaker 2: and it's it's beautiful, you know. But at the same time,

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Speaker 2: I'm a practical person as well. You know. So the

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Speaker 2: power of positive thinking, it's like, oh, if you think

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Speaker 2: positive things will happen. And my argument to that is,

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Speaker 2: there's eight billion people on this earth. You know how

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Speaker 2: many people are thinking positively that it's just not going well.

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Speaker 2: You know how many people are trying to manifest something

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Speaker 2: and it just isn't happening. So I become a skeptic

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Speaker 2: when we talk about that, you know, but I know

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Speaker 2: that the power of positive thinking will put you into

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Speaker 2: a place, a state where you feel good, and when

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Speaker 2: you feel good, you're able to accomplish more and life

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Speaker 2: gets better, just generally, you know, but not necessarily it's

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Speaker 2: going to happen. I'm going to think I need a job,

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Speaker 2: I need to get an acting gig. And if I

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Speaker 2: think hard enough and I'm more and I manifested and

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Speaker 2: I'm positive, and this is going to show up, you know,

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Speaker 2: So how do you speak to that? In my research,

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Speaker 2: it's more about the science behind it than it is

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Speaker 2: about the magic, even though magic is in your book

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Speaker 2: type sure, sure, well, I think there are several aspects

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Speaker 2: of this that need to sort of be unpacked.

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Speaker 3: You know. You look at books like The Secret, which

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Speaker 3: promoted this narrative of I want and the problem that

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Speaker 3: I want is this sort of leads one down the

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Speaker 3: wrong path. And what I mean by that is that

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Speaker 3: people want out of a sense of scarcity. And as

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Speaker 3: an example, if you ask high school students what they

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Speaker 3: want to be, what do they say? They want to

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Speaker 3: be an influencer, they want to be a millionaire or wealthy.

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Speaker 3: They want to be a celebrity, or they want to

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Speaker 3: be a professional athlete. Those are the main ones. And

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Speaker 3: this is you know, part of the problem is when

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Speaker 3: this idea of I want comes from a feeling you're

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Speaker 3: not good enough as you are, and in fact, on

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Speaker 3: some level it's stimulates what we call your sympathetic nervous system.

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Speaker 3: This is the fly fight or fear response, because you're

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Speaker 3: afraid because you're not good, So you have to have

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Speaker 3: these things to prop yourself up. And the problem with

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Speaker 3: the western capitalist narrative is that success equals happiness. Success

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Speaker 3: translates into many power and position, and sadly, so many

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Speaker 3: people have bought into this narrative. And of course The

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Speaker 3: Secret took advantage of that. And don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 3: it's not just the Secret, it's the whole law of

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Speaker 3: attraction narrative. And the problem oftentimes is that the reason

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Speaker 3: it didn't happen is you didn't really try hard enough,

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Speaker 3: and this lays a guilt trip on you. As you

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Speaker 3: pointed out, I mean, there are eight billion people in

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Speaker 3: the world and many people are trying to manifest or

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Speaker 3: have things positive happen to them, and it just doesn't happen.

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Speaker 3: And this is one of the other problems. Problems is

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Speaker 3: that people somehow believe one I just say I wanted it,

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Speaker 3: it should happen. Two I don't have to work for it.

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Speaker 3: Three I deserve it for it needs to happen on

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Speaker 3: my timeline. And five it needs to happen the way

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Speaker 3: I want it to happen. And fundamentally it just doesn't

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Speaker 3: work that way. But how do you actually manifest? First off,

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Speaker 3: you have to understand the difference between what you want

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Speaker 3: and what you need. And what I mean by that

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Speaker 3: is especially if you're younger. And in my first book,

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Speaker 3: which were called Into the Magic Shop, I'm not sure

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Speaker 3: if you've had a chance to look at it, but

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Speaker 3: it's a memoir that combines neuroscience and meditative practice. But

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Speaker 3: when I was twelve, I walked into a magic shop

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Speaker 3: filled with despair and hopelessness because my own background of

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Speaker 3: growing up with an alcoholic father, living in poverty, A

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Speaker 3: mother had a stroke and ended up being paralyzed, chronically depressed,

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Speaker 3: attempted suicide, which of course is not the ideal environment

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Speaker 3: if you wish to succeed in life. But what changed

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Speaker 3: me or saved me you will. Was I walked into

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Speaker 3: a magic shop and met a woman who knew nothing

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Speaker 3: about magic. She was the owner's mother, but she had

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Speaker 3: this radiant presence about her. And the reason I mentioned

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Speaker 3: that is she made me feel okay talking to her.

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Speaker 3: She made me feel comfortable. She created what we call

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Speaker 3: this environment of psychological safety, and as a result, I

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Speaker 3: opened up and I answered her questions honestly, and after

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Speaker 3: about six or about twenty to thirty minutes, she said

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Speaker 3: to me, she said, you know, I really like you.

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Speaker 3: I'm here for another six weeks. If you show up

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Speaker 3: every day, I think I can teach you something that

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Speaker 3: could really help you. And at that point in time,

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Speaker 3: she taught me a meditation practice. How old were you well?

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Speaker 3: And believe me, I had no self awareness at all.

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Speaker 3: And the reason I showed up was because, frankly, I

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Speaker 3: had absolutely nothing else to do, and she was giving

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Speaker 3: me chocolate chip cookies. Those were the motivators. But I

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Speaker 3: did show up and she taught me. And this was

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Speaker 3: before we talked about meditation or mind mindfulness or neuroplasticity

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Speaker 3: and our modern lexicon if you will, But you did

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Speaker 3: teach me these techniques, and one of those of course

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Speaker 3: was a manifestation technique. So she taught me a meditation

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Speaker 3: practice first. And as you can imagine, when you grew

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Speaker 3: up in the environment I grew up in, it's like

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Speaker 3: being in a constant warzone. You never know what's going

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Speaker 3: to happen. It's chaotic, it's unpredictable, and thanks can go

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Speaker 3: from perfect to horrible in a microsecond. So as a result,

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Speaker 3: your muscles are always tense because you never know what's

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Speaker 3: going to happen. So she taught me the technique of

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Speaker 3: relaxing the body or doing a body survey, followed by

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Speaker 3: being able to focus, in this case on a candle two,

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Speaker 3: because you cannot be present if you can't focus. So

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Speaker 3: she taught me the ability to focus. And then she

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Speaker 3: taught me that the negative dialogue going on in my

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Speaker 3: head was not truth. And this is a problem for

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Speaker 3: a lot of people. Now this is not to say

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Speaker 3: you get rid of that immediately with different techniques. It

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Speaker 3: takes work, and frankly, it never goes away, but you

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Speaker 3: can quelch it and control it with positive affirmations. And

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Speaker 3: the reason I say that is oftentimes when we beat

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Speaker 3: ourselves up, that results in us looking at the world

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Speaker 3: through a negative lens, and we become hypercritical of everybody

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Speaker 3: without realizing. And you pointed out, you know, there are

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Speaker 3: eight billion people around and many of them are suffering.

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Speaker 3: And so it changed my perspective on how I looked

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Speaker 3: at the world. Once I was kind to myself. But

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Speaker 3: what I tell people is also changed how the world

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Speaker 3: connected with me, because once you don't carry that anger

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Speaker 3: and hostility around with you, you're much more open to

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Speaker 3: connect with people. Plus it also allowed me to forgive

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Speaker 3: my parents, who I had a lot of anger and

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Speaker 3: hostility towards because I felt they had failed me, but

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Speaker 3: they did not have the tools to deal with their

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Speaker 3: own problems. But subsequently she taught me a visualization technique,

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Speaker 3: and this required repetition of my intention by writing it down,

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Speaker 3: reading it silently, reading it aloud, visualizing it and these

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Speaker 3: are standard techniques with manifestation, and that helped me. In fact,

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Speaker 3: she had me make a list of ten goals that

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Speaker 3: I had, but again I looked at it through the

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Speaker 3: lens of a twelve year old who was poor, who

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Speaker 3: fell into the narrative of what success is. So I

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Speaker 3: wanted a mansion, I wanted a million dollars. I wanted

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Speaker 3: to be a doctor so I could impress people. I

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Speaker 3: wanted a portie, I wanted a Rolex, and I got

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Speaker 3: all of those things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know exactly just thinking that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so every one of them. But the problem was

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Speaker 3: kept climbing these mountains waiting for this external affirmation, which

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Speaker 3: I got, but it never filled the emptiness that I

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Speaker 3: had inside, or dealt with the insecurity or the shame

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Speaker 3: that I carried with me, and so it didn't work,

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Speaker 3: and it only I only sort of reflected on the

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Speaker 3: whole process after I lost eighty million dollars in six weeks,

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Speaker 3: which does get your attention?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, well this was during the dot com period

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Speaker 3: and I had made some significant bets and so after

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Speaker 3: six weeks I was bankrupt. I was minus three million

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Speaker 3: in the hole. And so I went back to reflect

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Speaker 3: on what had happened, because nominally I did everything. But

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Speaker 3: what I didn't really pay attention to, and I was

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Speaker 3: too young to pay attention to, was the purpose of manifesting.

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Speaker 3: I was confused about. And what I mean by that

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Speaker 3: is that when you look at the world through I want,

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Speaker 3: and I mentioned you, this activates actually your your sympathetic,

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Speaker 3: nervous system. It actually has a negative effect on your physiology,

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Speaker 3: both brain and perpheral physiology. And in some ways it

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Speaker 3: relates to the difference between what we call hadonic happiness

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Speaker 3: and udamanic happiness. And what I mean by that is

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Speaker 3: hadonic happiness or hedonism is you chase, you chase pleasure,

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Speaker 3: you avoid pain, And frequently it relates to things you're

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Speaker 3: looking at the world through. I want this, I deserve

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Speaker 3: that I should have that, and if I just have this,

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Speaker 3: it'll make me okay and feel okay. And it does

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Speaker 3: do that very short term, very shallowly, and not particularly

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Speaker 3: long lasting. But you contrast this with udamonic happiness, which

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Speaker 3: is an understanding that your purpose in this world is

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Speaker 3: to be of service, to care for others, and that's

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Speaker 3: when your physiology actually works. It's breast the best, that's

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Speaker 3: when these cognitive brain networks work their best. That's when

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Speaker 3: your peripheral physiology works its best. And this is when

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Speaker 3: you engage your para sympathetic nervous system. So what's the

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Speaker 3: difference and why is it important? Well, first of all,

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Speaker 3: if you start looking at the world through the lens

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Speaker 3: of being of service and caring for others, it actually

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Speaker 3: changes what you want. It changes what you think is

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Speaker 3: important to understand what's really important, because when you're of

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Speaker 3: service to others, when you look through that lens, ultimately

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Speaker 3: you'll get everything you want if that's what you really want.

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Speaker 3: And I'm sure you've had people say to you, God,

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Speaker 3: I really wanted this, and either they'll say, God, I

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Speaker 3: got it and there was nothing there for me, or

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Speaker 3: they'll say, identicet it And I'm sure glad identicet it

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Speaker 3: right because it wasn't the right time, it wasn't the

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Speaker 3: right place, that was the wrong thing. So what happens

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Speaker 3: if you and this is what meditation does, right, It

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Speaker 3: shifts you. And unfortunately, in the modern world, so many

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Speaker 3: of us are sympathetic nervous systems are aggravated or activated

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Speaker 3: because we were never meant to live in this type

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Speaker 3: of a world. We were meant to live with engagement

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Speaker 3: of our parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system was

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Speaker 3: only when our life was in threat. But the nature

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Speaker 3: of modern society where you're required to have a job,

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Speaker 3: you have to feed a family, you have all these

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Speaker 3: pressures on you. For many people chronically activated and frankly

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Speaker 3: is one of the biggest sources of stress and anxiety

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Speaker 3: in this world.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I mean I live with that every day,

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Speaker 2: you know, and then trying to find the joy. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I'm a joyous person just generally, you know. But I

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Speaker 2: mean when you start to think about providing money, finances, this, this,

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Speaker 2: and that, I mean, it can it can take me

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Speaker 2: into a fucking hole.

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Speaker 3: Well, of course, yeah, it would take anybody. And so

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Speaker 3: the problem is that so many live in that state

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Speaker 3: and they get lost in this. Well I really need this,

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Speaker 3: I need this, And when you start looking through a

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Speaker 3: different lens, first of all, you realize many of the

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Speaker 3: things you think you need you don't, and the things

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Speaker 3: that actually make you HAPPI are far different than what

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Speaker 3: you thought. And so there are these different cognitive brain

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Speaker 3: networks that need to work in unison and they only

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Speaker 3: I shouldn't say they only work. They work their best

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Speaker 3: if you're in the right mental state, and this is

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Speaker 3: being able to shift over to engagement of your parasympathetic

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Speaker 3: nervous system.

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Speaker 2: How do you get into that mental state in order

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Speaker 2: for them to work their best? Is that through meditation.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's certainly a way that many people poll can

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Speaker 3: get through. But you know, people oftentimes get all this

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Speaker 3: angst and about meditation right because they always think of

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Speaker 3: a monk and his legs are crossed any sitting like this, Fuck,

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Speaker 3: I can't do that, And you don't need to do

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Speaker 3: any of that. It has to do with the right

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Speaker 3: mental attitude and putting yourself in a position where you're

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Speaker 3: receptive and you can lay down, you can stand, you

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Speaker 3: can sit, you can as long as you're comfortable, as

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Speaker 3: long as it's quiet and your attention is directed. And

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Speaker 3: it starts simply through a breathing exercise. But again, so

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Speaker 3: many people get so tense about thinking they're meditating.

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Speaker 2: So just well, that's the hardest part about meditating, you know,

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Speaker 2: I mean, am I meditating? Am I doing it? Right?

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Speaker 2: I hate this? Is this working? I mean for me specifically,

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Speaker 2: there are you know, the lists that I create throughout

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Speaker 2: for the day to sort of accomplish, and they consists

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Speaker 2: of you know, practical work things and then more physical

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Speaker 2: spiritual health related working out all those things. The hardest

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Speaker 2: thing for me to do is to sit for ten minutes.

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Speaker 2: And I mean even to not to actually do it

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Speaker 2: when I'm in the room but to just get to

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Speaker 2: the room. I procrastinate on my meditation more than anything

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Speaker 2: else in my life, and I can't even put my

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Speaker 2: fingers on why. I don't even know why. I was like,

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Speaker 2: this is not difficult. Just go sit there, go do it.

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Speaker 3: Well. I appreciate that, but you know, sometimes just taking

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Speaker 3: a walk in nature. Again, once you get into your

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Speaker 3: head you're meditating, you obviously have some sort of block there,

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Speaker 3: but it's not even that. Take the time to simply

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Speaker 3: go for a walk and be with your thoughts, be relaxed,

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Speaker 3: and just breathe, and that will get you there. You

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Speaker 3: don't need all of this other stuff that is so distracting,

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Speaker 3: especially for I pay people. You know, they think that

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Speaker 3: there's absolutely a right way and that there's somebody outside

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Speaker 3: themselves who is judging them and going to criticize them

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Speaker 3: right exactly, but nobody gets how far.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's true. You have your own path on

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Speaker 2: how to get get there, you know. I mean just

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Speaker 2: an example of that, I did this to the Hoffmann Institute.

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Speaker 2: You know what that is. Okay, So it was really

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Speaker 2: an amazing experience for me, and I've talked about it

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Speaker 2: a million times on this podcast and then you talk

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Speaker 2: about giving back and what that means and how that feels,

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Speaker 2: and this is just one avenue of that for me.

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Speaker 2: And it's just sort of a byproduct because I talk

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Speaker 2: about it all the time. I'm very open and you know,

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Speaker 2: at the end of Hoffman, you have to write a

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Speaker 2: letter to the person who inspired you to go there.

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Speaker 2: And I have hundreds of them just from talking on

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Speaker 2: podcasts or in the press or whatever. Every time I

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Speaker 2: get a letter, I get emotional because these people are

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Speaker 2: are expressing how listen to me and my experience made

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Speaker 2: them go there, and how it's changed the way that

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Speaker 2: they think. And it's just the most gratifying feeling that

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Speaker 2: I can get, honestly, so I understand what that feels like.

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Speaker 2: Moving to what I was my point, doing it your

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Speaker 2: own way. There's a process, an exercise where you have

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Speaker 2: to sort of, you know, beat a pillow, let's just say,

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Speaker 2: and a pillow is your mom or whatever it is.

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Speaker 2: And people are raging all over the room and I'm

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Speaker 2: faking it and I'm like, what are you doing? I

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Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable doing this. I feel like I'm being judged.

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Speaker 2: I feel people looking at me and laughing at me,

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Speaker 2: even though everyone is doing it. So I went into

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Speaker 2: a board of a meditative place and did it my

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Speaker 2: own way, you know, and it was gratifying to be

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Speaker 2: able to do it my own way. I got to

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Speaker 2: the same place that everyone was getting to, but I

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Speaker 2: had to sort of take a different path to get there.

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Speaker 3: Well, And I think that's the exact point here, And

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Speaker 3: it worked for you and you didn't have all the

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Speaker 3: angst about doing it their way, and I think that's

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Speaker 3: really the point here. So once you're able to get

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Speaker 3: into that state, then your cognitive brain networks work their best.

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Speaker 3: And what I mean by that, they're basically four areas

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Speaker 3: primarily that are involved in manifestation, and one is something

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Speaker 3: called the default mode network, and this is that part

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Speaker 3: of your brain that is associated with daydreaming or mind wondering,

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Speaker 3: but it's very self referential and it's how you paint

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Speaker 3: pictures of who you are, who you wish to be.

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Speaker 3: And once you've painted that picture, then it has to

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Speaker 3: stimulate or activate what we call the salience network. It

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Speaker 3: has to be salient to the brain, and this is

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Speaker 3: on a subconscious level. And so once you've defined an

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Speaker 3: intention as salient, then what the salience network does is

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Speaker 3: it activates what we call your attention network, so it directs,

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Speaker 3: like a laser, your attention on accomplishing that task. And

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Speaker 3: then the next step is that once those are activated

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Speaker 3: on a subconscious level, then this results in what we

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Speaker 3: call your executive control network to be activated. And this

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Speaker 3: is what's associated and I call it the CEO of

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Speaker 3: the brain, if you will. This is in your frontal areas.

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Speaker 3: This gives you access to experience memories and making discerning

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Speaker 3: decisions about what's going to happen. And the reason I

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Speaker 3: say this has to get into your subconscious is that

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Speaker 3: what the subconscious wants, the conscious finds. And what I

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Speaker 3: mean by that is that there's a process of something

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Speaker 3: called value tagging. And what people don't realize is you

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Speaker 3: have about ten million bits of information going into your

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Speaker 3: brain every second from all your sensory organs, but trebled

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Speaker 3: up says only five to fifty to one hundred on

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Speaker 3: a conscious level. So what your information that you have

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Speaker 3: the ability to impact is very small compared to all

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Speaker 3: that other information, much of which goes to what we

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Speaker 3: call maintaining homeostasis of bodily functions. But that's at an

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Speaker 3: unconscious level. But once you value tag something, then it

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Speaker 3: becomes salient ultimately, and then you're focused on that. And

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Speaker 3: when I say focused on that, that's at a subconscious level.

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Speaker 3: It's not at the level of consciousness. And this is

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Speaker 3: as an example, like I'm sure you've been at a party,

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Speaker 3: maybe the party you were at the other night, and

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Speaker 3: it's very loud, Yet if somebody says your name, you

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Speaker 3: immediately turn to it. And why is that? Your identity

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Speaker 3: is deeply embedded in you, and your mind on a

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Speaker 3: subconscious level is always attuned to things related to you.

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Speaker 3: And this is very similar to manifesting. Once you're able

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Speaker 3: to embed an intention, your subconscious is always on the

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Speaker 3: lookout for opportunities for that to manifest. And what do

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Speaker 3: I mean by that? One example is let's say I'm

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Speaker 3: a neurosurgeon should probably know, and I see a patient

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Speaker 3: and I say, you know, you have a benign brain tumors,

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Speaker 3: called them an inchioma, blah blah blah blah blah, and

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Speaker 3: they'll say, oh my god, I've never heard of that before.

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Speaker 3: Yet two months later I'll see them go the most

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Speaker 3: amazing thing I've run into Five people have the exact

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Speaker 3: same thing. I do. Why is that because that suddenly

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Speaker 3: got deeply embedded and their subconscious was on the alert

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Speaker 3: for situations, opportunities people who have the same condition or

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Speaker 3: somehow relate. And I'll give you another example. I was

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Speaker 3: at a coffee shop a few months ago and there's

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Speaker 3: a project that I'm working on which is fairly frankly esoteric,

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Speaker 3: and it was really noisy. Yet out of the den

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Speaker 3: of all of that noise, I heard somebody make say

432
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 3: a couple of words that very much relate to what

433
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 3: this project is about. So I went over, introduced myself,

434
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 3: and now we're working on the project together. Wow, that's

435
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 3: how it works. It looks your subconscious is always looking

436
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 3: for opportunities to create if you want to call them

437
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 3: coincidences or synchronicities.

438
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 2: That's what I was getting at. How do you square

439
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 2: sort of the magic of that? Because I always ask

440
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: is it a coincidence or are we just as our

441
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 2: subconscious now sort of taking it over, you know? Or

442
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 2: or is there something magical out there?

443
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 3: Well you could call how your subconscious works magical if

444
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 3: you want, But as I say, in the first sense

445
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,959
Speaker 3: of the book, the universe doesn't give a fuck about you.

446
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 3: There is no magic true, you know, it's I was

447
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 3: talking to John Hammer a little while ago.

448
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: And I know John's friend of mine.

449
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a good guy. But he was saying he said,

450
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 3: and he was quote from something from Madman. He said,

451
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 3: at best, the universe is indifferent. He used that as

452
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 3: an endorsement for my book.

453
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 2: Actually. Yeah.

454
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 3: So the point is that when you have these the

455
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 3: physiology aligns where your brain works at its best. It

456
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 3: creates these opportunities. But there's several aspects which I should

457
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 3: probably point out. One is all of us from our

458
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 3: childhood's carry baggage. Some of it's wonderful, some of it's

459
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 3: pretty horrible. What people don't appreciate is, and this is

460
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 3: the question of what are you already manifesting. If you

461
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 3: carry baggage with you which you don't appreciate, impacts every

462
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 3: interaction you have with another person, every decision you make.

463
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 3: I'm sure you've been in those situations where somebody will

464
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 3: sit there and say, I don't understand it. You know,

465
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 3: I'm going through my third divorce and I picked the

466
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 3: exact same person every time I got married, Right, Well,

467
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 3: why is that? It's because you're carrying baggage which is

468
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 3: making these decisions for you, and you've never stopped to

469
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 3: reflect on one. What is it that you've been manifesting already?

470
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 3: So that's one point.

471
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 2: So subconsciously manifesting even though it's all exists in your

472
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 2: subconscious even consciously essentially, I mean, are you manifesting every

473
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 2: day subconsciously?

474
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely? Now most people do it inefficiently. It's like

475
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if you're an athlete or a marathon runner.

476
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: No, I mean I'm athletic for sure, I don't run marathons.

477
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 3: The point of that, though, is that all of us

478
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 3: start at zero. We don't start at the Olympic level

479
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 3: right now. Of course, oftentimes people read these books and

480
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna read the book and I'm going to be

481
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 3: an Olympia tomorrow. It doesn't work that way, and so

482
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: one you have to figure out where you've been and

483
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 3: get some insight into that. You have to understand all

484
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 3: of us manifest try to manifest every day, but it's

485
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 3: usually a statement like oh I really like that, and

486
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 3: that's it right, there's no systematic way to do it.

487
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 3: Then the other thing is people get confused because they

488
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 3: somehow think it works on their timeline, right, Well, that

489
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 3: should have happened tomorrow. It can't happen two weeks from now.

490
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 3: The third thing is that people have a tendency to say, well,

491
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 3: I want it to happen exactly this way. It doesn't

492
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 3: work that way. Either it neither works on a timeline,

493
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 3: or you don't get exactly what you want. And sometimes

494
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: the reason you don't get exactly what you want is

495
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 3: because you're subconscious has also processed the fact that some

496
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: of these things are not necessarily good for you, like, oh, geez,

497
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 3: I saw this hot blonde in the bar. I know,

498
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 3: you know, we're going to make a perfect couple, you know,

499
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: when she's a psychopath.

500
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: So essentially is your subconscious sort of your chaperone in

501
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 2: some ways, it's been like looking after you.

502
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's protecting you, I think in some ways. And

503
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 3: so you have to become friends with that. And again,

504
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 3: like I said, you have to have clarity of what

505
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 3: you really want versus what you think you need, which

506
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 3: is I gave you the example of myself. I got

507
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 3: every one of the things I wanted. And you know,

508
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 3: it's funny because, as I said, I kept waiting for

509
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 3: this external affirmation and I had all these buddies of

510
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 3: mine going wow, Jim God, that's cool man. You know.

511
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 3: I had this mansion overlooking Newport Beach. I had a

512
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 3: penthouse in San Francisco. I had a Ferrari Porsche BMW

513
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: arranged over Mercedes in the garage. I was flying in

514
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 3: private jets. I was meeting all these cool people and

515
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 3: they kept telling me how great my life was. And

516
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 3: I was never more miserable in my entire life.

517
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 2: Really absolutely why.

518
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 3: Because I kept searching for something to fill up this

519
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 3: void that it could never fill it up enough. All

520
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 3: the things in the world could not fill up this

521
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 3: emptiness that I had inside of myself. And this was

522
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 3: accepting myself and loving myself. You see. I was looking

523
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 3: outside of myself to find the affirmation that would say

524
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 3: I'm okay. I deserve to be loved. And what the

525
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 3: reality is, only you can give yourself that gift. Nothing

526
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 3: else is going to give it. All the stuff in

527
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 3: the world is not going to give it. And if

528
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 3: that is what you were seeking, you're never going to

529
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 3: be happy. And as I was saying earlier, so I

530
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 3: ended up losing eighty million dollars and I had actually

531
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 3: at that time if you had a company that had

532
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 3: gone public during the dot com you could borrow a

533
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 3: quarter of that amount of your wealth through the bank

534
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 3: which I had to buy all of these things. And

535
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 3: so when that happened, two people became my best friends.

536
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: My banker who called me because he wanted his money

537
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 3: I didn't have it, and my lawyer. And what happened

538
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 3: ultimately was which gave me great insight. Is so once

539
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 3: I lost everything, I went back to my house in

540
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 3: Newport Beach, which had been sitting empty for some time,

541
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 3: and I had gone through a divorce a year or

542
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 3: so before, and I went through a period of reflection,

543
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 3: and I'm saying, what the fuck happened to me? How

544
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 3: did I get lost here? You know, I kept chasing

545
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 3: these things. I got all of these things, But why

546
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 3: was I so unhappy? And now I've lost everything? And

547
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 3: so during the same time, my lawyer also got a

548
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 3: hold of me, because I had to do all sorts

549
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 3: of reshuffling of things. And I had set up a

550
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 3: variety of trusts, and one was an irrevocable charitable trust,

551
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 3: and I had put a bunch of stock in a

552
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 3: company that I had run into it that had not

553
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 3: gone public, and he called me and he said, look, Jim,

554
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 3: it turns out and they had a junior partner who

555
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 3: was supposed to fill out the paperwork. Kid never actually

556
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 3: they filed the paperwork and they said, you know, if

557
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 3: you want, you could just keep all that stock. You

558
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 3: don't have to give it away. And I really bowled

559
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 3: over this for a long time, and I realized that

560
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 3: one of the monkeys on my back was poverty. That

561
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 3: was always the driver. Poverty equals insecurity equals fear. And

562
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 3: I never since I had enough. So after this period

563
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 3: of reflection, I told the attorney go ahead and still

564
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 3: give it all the charity and that ended up being

565
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 3: thirty million dollars.

566
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: Wow.

567
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 3: But you know, I set up charities throughout the world,

568
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 3: homeless shelters, blood banks, I developed programs for the disabled.

569
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 2: Through this thirty thirty million yep.

570
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 3: And but the other thing that happened is here I

571
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 3: had this trajectory where I went from rags if you will,

572
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 3: to riches literally, and then to rags again. Now I

573
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 3: preface that by saying, when I say I went to

574
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 3: rags again, I was always still a neurosurgeon getting paid

575
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 3: more than ninety nine point nine percent of people, So

576
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 3: I was not starving, right. But what happened was though

577
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 3: by giving that money away, it changed how I looked

578
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 3: at the world. I did look at the world, not

579
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 3: from I'm a doctor, I'm so great, but I'm a doctor,

580
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 3: how can I help people? But what I realized though,

581
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 3: was that I actually became extraordinarily wealthy, but in a

582
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 3: different way. It wasn't through riches. It was I set

583
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 3: up the center at Stanford where we study the neuroscience

584
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 3: of compassion and empathy. We developed programs that have helped

585
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 3: millions of people around the world. The Dalai Lama was

586
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 3: the founding benefactor. I ended up becoming the chairman of

587
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 3: the Dalai Lama Foundation. Through that, I ended up probably

588
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 3: meeting some of the greatest spiritual and religious leaders in

589
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 3: the world who become my friends. As an example, Radhanaswami,

590
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 3: who I was just with last night. He's the head

591
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 3: of ish Khan, Shri Sri Rabi Shankar Sad Guru Ama,

592
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 3: the Hugging.

593
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 2: Saint my Boston. My brother is with her all the time, really, yeah,

594
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 2: all the time, Like there they hang out and he's

595
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,760
Speaker 2: with her all the time. Yeah.

596
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 3: Well, she's a she's a dear friend of mine. And

597
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 3: but eckar Toole byron Kati. All of these folks our

598
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 3: dear friends, and I've learned so much from them just

599
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 3: being in their presence. And this is the thing is

600
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 3: so I have nothing to complain about. But my life

601
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 3: is directed to seeing how I can be of service

602
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 3: to others. And this is not a anti materialism lecture here,

603
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 3: because listen, I live very very well. I have a

604
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 3: very nice house. I drive a Porsche and I enjoy it.

605
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 3: But the difference is, though, and this is an important difference.

606
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 3: If all of that was taken away from me tomorrow,

607
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 3: the house, the cars, all the wonderful benefits I have,

608
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 3: my mental attitude will not change one iota. They're things.

609
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 3: They're there to use. I enjoy them when I have,

610
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: I share them with people if I can. But if

611
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 3: they're gone, it's okay. The most important thing is how

612
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 3: can I live a life of being of service to others?

613
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 3: And if you focus on that, all the other stuff

614
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 3: will happen to you. It's not about you. And I

615
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 3: think that's the important message I hope of this book,

616
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 3: and that's the important message of if you wish to

617
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 3: manifest quote unquote maximally to get the best benefit out

618
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 3: of it, it has to be through that path. Yes,

619
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 3: you can go the other way. It can all be

620
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 3: about you. You can get all of these things, but frankly,

621
00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 3: that's a dead end path.

622
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: I always say though, you know, to my mom, oh,

623
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: you know, the sort of cliched Oh, money, Money's not

624
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 2: going to bring you happiness. You know, money can't buy

625
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 2: you happiness. But then I say, well, I'm happy, you

626
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 2: know what I mean. I got an amazing wife and

627
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: three kids. And I said, but now just back up

628
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 2: the fucking bringstruck and then life will be even better

629
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: because my you know, again, I'm doing fine, but my

630
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 2: struggles come from my finances. You know, I've afforded myself

631
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 2: a nice life as an actor, but you know that

632
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 2: goes away quickly. You're making a lot of money and

633
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 2: you're making zero dollars, and sometimes when those that zero

634
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: dollar plays out for a year and a half, you

635
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 2: start to get a little nutty, you know, And you

636
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 2: know it's about again for me personally, relating all of

637
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 2: this back to my situation, it's trying to stay positive,

638
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 2: trying to sort of you know, I guess call it manifestation,

639
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 2: but just sort of waking up every day and saying, hey,

640
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 2: it's gonna be a good day. That's it. I'm going

641
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,280
Speaker 2: to have a good day. You know, sun is shining,

642
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: and with my kids life is good. I'll figure it out.

643
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 2: I'll fucking figure it out, you know. But then that

644
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,720
Speaker 2: can get the best of you, no.

645
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 3: Doubt, no, absolutely, And this is why I suggest for

646
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 3: some people that they change how they're thinking of stuff.

647
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 3: And in the book I give several examples. But as

648
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 3: an example, I had a young lady who she wanted

649
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 3: to become a doctor, and she reached out to me.

650
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 3: And you know that my first book was really not

651
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 3: only about my own struggles and the trajectory of my life,

652
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 3: but the challenges I had getting into medical school because

653
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 3: I was always called out from college to deal with

654
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 3: family situations. My great point average was two point five

655
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 3: y three when the average to get into med school

656
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 3: was three point seventy nine. And what often happens, of course,

657
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 3: in those cases, people who quote unquote are your friends

658
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 3: will tell you how you're never going to get into

659
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 3: medical school. And fortunately I didn't listen to any of them.

660
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 3: But so I talked about that struggle. But this young

661
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 3: lady reached out to me and she's from Sri Lanka,

662
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 3: and she was saying, you know, I wanted to be

663
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 3: a doctor, and I've now been rejected three times. And

664
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 3: I went through this with her, and the reason she

665
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,800
Speaker 3: wanted to be a doctor was to make her parents

666
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 3: proud in the sense that they had left Sri Lanka

667
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 3: to come to the US, and even though they were

668
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 3: middle class in Sri Lanka, they were very poor in

669
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 3: the US. She struggled. She worked really hard to get

670
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 3: into a nice college, but all of her struggles were

671
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 3: filled with anxiety because she was living to fulfill her parents' expectation.

672
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 3: And we had a long talk and I went over

673
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 3: a lot of these things with her, and I said,

674
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 3: the difference is, it's not about you or your parents.

675
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 3: Why want to be a doctor. You want to be

676
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 3: a doctor to be of service, to help people. You

677
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 3: have to change how you're looking through that lens. And

678
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 3: you could use it even using the context of an actor. Right,

679
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 3: I need a job is different from saying I want

680
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 3: to be engaged in a project that is life affirming

681
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 3: and that helps other people. Yep, those are completely two

682
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 3: different dynamics. One is self oriented, the other is outside

683
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 3: of yourself or in it.

684
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 2: Do people trick themselves though, meaning, Oh, I want a

685
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 2: job because I need money. But I'm just going to

686
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 2: say to the universe again, the univers doesn't give a fuck,

687
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: as we know, well, you know, I'm just gonna say,

688
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 2: I'm going to couch it in. This idea is for

689
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 2: other people. But really, deep down, I know why I

690
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 2: want this job. Well, you can't fool yourself, right at

691
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,320
Speaker 2: the end of the day. Actually, there's a research project

692
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 2: that was done which would probably be interested, and we're

693
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: talking about volunteering, right, And the point of this was

694
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 2: the value volunteerism. So I followed a group of people

695
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 2: over the age of sixty five for I think a

696
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 2: couple of years, and they volunteered a minimum number of

697
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: hours a week. And at the end of it the study,

698
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 2: the people who volunteered compared to those who did not

699
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 2: actually doubled their longevity. Doubled it almost, okay, which is huge.

700
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: But there were some exceptions. And the exceptions were the

701
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 2: people who were, like you were saying, they were doing

702
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 2: it to impress people or they wanted to get an award.

703
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 2: It didn't work for them.

704
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, because you know the difference between what your

705
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 3: end game is. Now, that's not to sit there and say, well,

706
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,280
Speaker 3: I get nothing out of There's nothing wrong with getting

707
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 3: something out of it, but the focus fundamentally has to

708
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 3: be I am doing something to benefit others, And if

709
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 3: you look at it through that lens, the likelihood of

710
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 3: been happening is much much higher than the other way.

711
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 3: You could look at me and say, Jim, you're full

712
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 3: of shit, and that's certainly possible. But at least in

713
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 3: my review of the science and looking through all of

714
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 3: the literature, that seems to be the greatest way that

715
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 3: one can not only benefit themselves but benefit others, you

716
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:20,760
Speaker 3: know Themama says, if you want to make others happy,

717
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,879
Speaker 3: be compassionate. If you wish to be happy, be compassionate.

718
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh man, I know that. If we need to

719
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 2: get into a subconscious right, you sort of gave the

720
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 2: example of debeni and brain tumor, and it's almost like

721
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 2: it's almost like shock memory. You know, that flash bulb

722
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 2: type of memory where it's boom and it's going to

723
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:47,439
Speaker 2: stick in there. So how do you and how long

724
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 2: does it take? I know, there's an impossible answer. But

725
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: how do you put something into your subconscious? I mean

726
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 2: it almost seems counterintuitive, like, oh, I want this to

727
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: be in my subconscious, so then I'm constantly working on

728
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 2: it without even knowing it.

729
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I mean that's what we talk about in

730
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 3: the book, and there's actually six steps that are fairly

731
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 3: well defined that include a meditative practice. But again, like

732
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:16,879
Speaker 3: I said, it's using some of the same techniques. One

733
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 3: is using your sensors too, because there's a term that

734
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 3: says what fires together wires together, right, this is how

735
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:30,240
Speaker 3: you develop neuropathways. It involves repetition, it involves practice, So again,

736
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 3: using your sensory organs to stimulate the nervous system. Write

737
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 3: everything down right, look at it, read it silently, read

738
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 3: it aloud, sit in silence, and visualize that manifesting and

739
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 3: those strengthen those neuropathways to further embed it into your

740
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 3: subconscious mind. As you said, you can have the shock therapy,

741
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 3: which as example, telling somebody they have a brain tumor

742
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 3: and it's a meningioma is a normal shock therapy that

743
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 3: gets blasted in. It's just like your identity as who

744
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 3: you are is deeply embedded in your subconscious. And so

745
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 3: when you're able to embed it there where it gets salience,

746
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: and this is through this technique of value tagging, then

747
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 3: that's what you do.

748
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,280
Speaker 2: Explain value tagging quickly.

749
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 3: How does taking your intention and creating a value so

750
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 3: that it sticks into your subconscious?

751
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 2: So if my intention is okay, you know, if my

752
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 2: intention is to sort of get a great part, you know,

753
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 2: or or as an actor sort of being do something

754
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: that I really care about, you know, So how would

755
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 2: I create a value tag around that concept or that manifestation.

756
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. So again, whether you're walking in nature, whatever it

757
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 3: is that you're using, you get yourself into the mindset

758
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 3: and you say, I wish to be in a part

759
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 3: or have a part in a movie or whatever it

760
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 3: is in which my character is doing something that is

761
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 3: of service to a greater cause. It's not I need

762
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 3: a part this week to pay the bills so I

763
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 3: can pay the mortgage payment and the car payment. And again,

764
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 3: those are two completely different ways to look at it. Now.

765
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 3: Now listen, I certainly appreciate you may need to make

766
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 3: the mortgage in the car payment, But I'm just saying

767
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 3: that the strength of this is changing the narrative to

768
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,280
Speaker 3: not one of self service, but of overall service, where

769
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 3: you're doing something that benefits others, but you ultimately get

770
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 3: the benefit yourself. Which is that quote I just mentioned

771
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 3: about the Dalai Lama.

772
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 2: That's interesting because as I said before, or can you

773
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: trick yourself? Or and obviously you cannot. I mean that

774
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 2: seems redundant. I don't know how you're gonna trick yourself.

775
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: But you know right now if you are in need

776
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 2: of money to pay that mortgage. But we know that

777
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 2: that's not the way to go about manifesting because it

778
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 2: is not of service. But now we're going to create

779
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 2: that narrative.

780
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 3: Well, but then you can also change or to say,

781
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 3: I am trying to create an environment where my children

782
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:32,280
Speaker 3: will thrive. Right, it requires me to be in a house,

783
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,439
Speaker 3: and I need the money so that I can create

784
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 3: that environment for my children.

785
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 2: Love that that is my truth. I mean, you know,

786
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: I don't want money so you can fly in private

787
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 2: planes and be on yachts. It's just about creating a

788
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: comfortable sort of lifestyle, you know, for my own health,

789
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,439
Speaker 2: even my own stress, my stress markers, you know.

790
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,399
Speaker 3: No, no, so but you see how you change how

791
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 3: you think, and that change should because so many people

792
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 3: think I have to have this for X, which is

793
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 3: typically you you know, I need to drive my Porsche

794
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 3: around so people see me my portion think I'm successful

795
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 3: right right right now? Yeah, I used to think that

796
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 3: though I was as vain and a jackass as anybody.

797
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 2: Come on, when did that shift for you?

798
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 3: When I lost eighty million dollars. Now, don't get me wrong,

799
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 3: I wasn't an asshole, but I was always nice. But

800
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 3: it was more about me, you know, like, and I'm

801
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 3: sure you've experienced this. You know, there used to be

802
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 3: I used to live in Newport Beach. Right there used

803
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 3: to be a very popular restaurant, and I used to

804
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 3: drive a yellow Ferrara.

805
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I pull up the front, you know.

806
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 3: Then I knew everybody, and I would just leave my

807
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 3: car there and there's a line a mile long, and

808
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 3: I would just walk in the front and there was

809
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,879
Speaker 3: my own table there, and you know.

810
00:47:55,920 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 2: It feels good. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm just fascinated. It's

811
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 2: just if I can talk to you for hours like

812
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 2: this is such I need to, like I needed to

813
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 2: be my my spiritual manifestation mentor you know, I mean,

814
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 2: I'm a very practical person. But these are the things

815
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 2: that you said something and I got the chills, and

816
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 2: you know, got a bit of emotional. I'm a very

817
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:23,240
Speaker 2: emotional person just generally. You know, I cry very easily.

818
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,919
Speaker 2: I feel things sometimes like what is wrong with you?

819
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 2: Why are you feeling these feelings right now? You know?

820
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 2: But you said that you just have this overwhelming feeling

821
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 2: that it's all going to it's all going to turn out,

822
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 2: it's all going to happen for you. And I have

823
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 2: that and I don't even know where it comes from,

824
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 2: but I just I have that. And sometimes I think

825
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: it makes me lazy, to be honest, you know, because

826
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it's going to work out. I know

827
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 2: it's going to work out, and then I don't. I

828
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 2: don't put the work in, you know what I mean.

829
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:58,439
Speaker 3: Well, that can be a challenge too, But I guess

830
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:00,919
Speaker 3: the question is what works, what doesn't work? If that's

831
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 3: worked for you, you know. I I always have a list

832
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 3: of projects, and don't get me wrong, I don't go insane.

833
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 3: I just slowly work on them and hopefully they ultimately manifest.

834
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 3: But I don't get lost in whether they don't or do.

835
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 3: And again, this is you know, the greatest cause of

836
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 3: suffering is attachment and craving, right yeah. And it's interesting

837
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 3: because you'll see some people on podcasts will go, you know,

838
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,239
Speaker 3: I can run, you know, twenty miles. I get up

839
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 3: every morning at four am and then I wait lift

840
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 3: for three hours and I and my shit together. And

841
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 3: if you don't do it, you're a loser man. And

842
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,240
Speaker 3: I'm glad that narrative works for some of these people,

843
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 3: but you shouldn't even be in that direction. I mean, yes,

844
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 3: if that you want that, but I'm not quite sure

845
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 3: who wants that. My point is, what is it that

846
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 3: you need that will make you wholed? And you know,

847
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 3: one of the people are the person I was alluding to.

848
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,320
Speaker 3: You know, this is a person had a very challenging background,

849
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 3: but he feels he has to beat himself to death

850
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 3: every day to somehow prove that, you know, he's got

851
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 3: it together. And all it is is it's a sad

852
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 3: statement of just beating yourself up to prove you're okay

853
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 3: when you were okay to begin with. And we're all okay,

854
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:40,439
Speaker 3: you know, we're perfectly imperfect. Now that's not to say

855
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 3: we don't continue to strive, but you know, getting to

856
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 3: the top of a mountain and waving an a ward

857
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 3: around and you look behind you and you have no family,

858
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 3: children who dislike you, multiple broken relationships and broken people

859
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 3: in your wake. What is it that you've accomplished?

860
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, son, And this.

861
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:02,439
Speaker 3: Is, you know, the sad thing.

862
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 2: What about self talk? You know, just generally, because I'm

863
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 2: a I use self deprecation. Humor for me is big,

864
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 2: you know, and sometimes I use it to sort of

865
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 2: mask some sort of an insecurity. You know. I've got

866
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 2: a family of you know, to move three movie stars,

867
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 2: and my my younger brother is sort of on his way.

868
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,359
Speaker 2: And not to take away my career, it's been. I've

869
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 2: been very successful, but I do feel like a black sheep,

870
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 2: And you will use not a black sheep, but someone

871
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 2: who has not accomplished or reached their potential, because I

872
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: honestly do believe that I have a lot of untapped talent.

873
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,879
Speaker 2: I do believe that, you know, given the right opportunity,

874
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,760
Speaker 2: things can be even better for me. But I'll use

875
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 2: self deprecation, you know, and I will self talk poorly,

876
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 2: you know, to myself, and I imagine that that can

877
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 2: be detrimental subconsciously, right.

878
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:02,399
Speaker 3: Well, of course, uh you know. I I mean each

879
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,839
Speaker 3: of us carries a different type of burden, right. Uh

880
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 3: you know I have mine, which is the insecurity of poverty.

881
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 3: You have yours living up to expectations in a situation.

882
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 3: And there's there's no reason for you to feel that

883
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 3: way at all, because your life is not their life.

884
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 3: And and again it gets back to the thing. Are

885
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 3: your actions to show that you're worthy or your actions

886
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 3: about who you are? And I think that's you know,

887
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 3: a challenge sometimes and you have to you have to

888
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 3: forgive yourself and not beat yourself up. And I appreciate

889
00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 3: the self deprecation certainly, but you have to get to

890
00:52:56,719 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 3: the point where you understand that it's not about them.

891
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 3: It's simply about you and who you want to be

892
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 3: and what's the best path or vehicle for you to

893
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 3: get there. And again, the more you beat yourself up,

894
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 3: that probably works against you. I guess we're doing a

895
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 3: therapy session now.

896
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 2: I know. I'm sorry. I always it always gets it

897
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:25,439
Speaker 2: always goes there with me, Okay, I just love deal.

898
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 2: I just you know, the humanity is very interesting and

899
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 2: why I operate and why people operate. I think, you know,

900
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 2: to wrap it all up though, But like compassion, forgiveness

901
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 2: was a big sement and Hoffmann Institute. And it's not

902
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,359
Speaker 2: just about, you know, forgiving your parents, and but it's

903
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 2: about forgiving and having compassion for yourself and finding self

904
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,280
Speaker 2: love and finding self worth, because we all are worthy

905
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 2: of loving ourselves. There's no doubt about that. And then,

906
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 2: you know, you said something interesting in the beginning of

907
00:53:55,080 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 2: our chat, which was sort of having forgiveness or passion

908
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 2: for your parents because they didn't have the tools to

909
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 2: help you, you know. And then when we look back

910
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 2: on their childhoods and how they were raised and how

911
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: they are just sort of extending those negative patterns into

912
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,919
Speaker 2: onto their children. You know, that helped me a lot

913
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 2: with my father, you know, understanding where he came from,

914
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 2: why he was who he was, you know, and immediately

915
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 2: you feel this beautiful, overwhelming compassion for people who normally

916
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,359
Speaker 2: you would feel vindictive towards you know.

917
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 3: Well, and and that's the thing and this you know,

918
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 3: idea of vindictiveness or not forgiving, it doesn't help anybody,

919
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:43,359
Speaker 3: and it only hurts you. You know. There's a from

920
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:48,319
Speaker 3: my first book, Into the Magic Shop, someone asked me

921
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 3: to give a talk to incoming medical students at my

922
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 3: medical school, which was a great honor for me, since

923
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:57,800
Speaker 3: by every marker, I should never have gotten into medical school.

924
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 3: But I reflected on the lessons I had learned, and

925
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 3: I wanted to give these medical students something because you know,

926
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,840
Speaker 3: they have to remember a lot of stuff, and a

927
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 3: lot of people use mnemonics to remember. So I distilled

928
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,280
Speaker 3: down what I had learned into ten letters of the alphabet.

929
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 3: And you know, people say, what is your personal practice?

930
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:25,759
Speaker 3: And my personal practice includes this, And what I do

931
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 3: every morning when I wake up is one. I sit

932
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 3: on the side of the bed and I do a

933
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 3: breathing exercise again to put me into the engagement of

934
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 3: my par sympathetic nervous system. I think of the joy

935
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 3: and awe of being in this world. And then I

936
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 3: go through these ten letters, and they are C Compassion

937
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 3: for self and others, d Recognizing the dignity of every person. E,

938
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 3: practicing equanimity or evenness of temperament, not getting lost in

939
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 3: how you want to be or the great things that

940
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,799
Speaker 3: have happened to you, but also not dwelling on the

941
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,839
Speaker 3: bad things that happen, because they're all transitory, and if

942
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,359
Speaker 3: you can look at them with the same feeling and

943
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 3: have this evenness of temperament, appreciating the good times, understanding

944
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 3: the bad times, but always maintaining this evenness of temperament.

945
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 3: And then of course forgiveness. So many people attach an

946
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 3: emotion to an event, and every time they think of it,

947
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: of course it comes back and it only hurts them.

948
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 3: And so being able to forgive people not necessarily to forget,

949
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 3: having gratitude for what you have. You know, if you

950
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 3: simply reflect on the reality that half of the world's

951
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 3: population subsist on less than two dollars and fifty cents

952
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 3: a day, we're incredibly fortunate. And then humility, And I'll

953
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,560
Speaker 3: assure you as a neurosurge, and humility is the hardest

954
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 3: thing to have.

955
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 2: Is it because because of ego?

956
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: Of course, yah h or I is integrity and values

957
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 3: that bound your behavior. They define who you are, how

958
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:16,520
Speaker 3: you act. Jay is justice for our responsibility for caring

959
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 3: for those who are vulnerable. Hey is kindness simply for

960
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 3: doing the right thing and caring for people they don't

961
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 3: have to be suffering. And all of this is contained

962
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 3: by love, Oh.

963
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 2: My God, love that love that and that's in your

964
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 2: first book, yes, because everyone's got to go buy that one.

965
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 2: First is that Magic.

966
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 3: Shop, Yeah, into the Magic Shop. But Neurosurgeon's quest to

967
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 3: discover the mysteries of the brain and the secrets of

968
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:42,640
Speaker 3: the heart amazing.

969
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: And then and then the new one.

970
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 3: Mind Magic, the neuroscience and manifestation and how it changes everything.

971
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:52,439
Speaker 2: Wow, this is so good, dude, Thank you so much.

972
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 2: You know, I love I just love you know how

973
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 2: how open you are about everything, you know, I mean,

974
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,480
Speaker 2: just the way that you feel your ego. You were

975
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 2: saying it's the hardest thing for you to do, losing

976
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 2: all that money you driving the ferraris be trying to

977
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 2: be the man. I mean, those that reality just makes

978
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 2: everything so much more palatable when reading something, because it

979
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like you're on a pedestal sort of speaking

980
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 2: down to people. You are right in the game with

981
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 2: everybody you know. And that's a beautiful thing, Dude. I

982
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 2: appreciate it. And I'm going to hook you up with

983
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 2: Mom too, because you guys are going to definitely hit

984
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 2: it off. I mean, there's no doubt.

985
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 3: Well, Oliver, I'd love to hit it off with you

986
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 3: if you have some time at some point.

987
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:40,080
Speaker 2: And one all right, well this has been really fun. Man.

988
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 2: I appreciate you. Thank you you. Take care dude, okay,

989
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 2: take care all right? Oh my god, wow this I

990
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 2: feel I got energy. Now. I want him to live

991
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 2: with me and teach me the way is how to manifest,

992
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 2: how to remain positive. Think he has such a clear outlook,

993
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 2: you know, and a very realistic outlook. It's not it's

994
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 2: not he's not trying to I mean, he's trying to

995
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 2: sell books. But it's not about sort of oh you

996
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 2: can you can have whatever you want. You know, you

997
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 2: can whatever you want, you can have and just fucking

998
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 2: manifest it. No. No, this is about using manifestation through

999
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 2: giving back essentially, And this is what I loved about it.

1000
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 2: You know, even asking the questions of oh, what if

1001
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 2: I want a job, Well, it's not just about you know,

1002
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 2: I want a job because I want to be rich

1003
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 2: and I want to win awards. No, I want I

1004
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 2: need a job to be able to support my family

1005
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 2: so my kids can do this and they can look

1006
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:46,040
Speaker 2: up to me and know that I work hard. It's

1007
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 2: just about reframing some of these things, you know. Anyway,

1008
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 2: that was awesome. Thank you guys for listening. I feel

1009
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 2: like this is a good one. You know, buy these books,

1010
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 2: buy his books, and yeah, maybe, hey, maybe listening to

1011
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 2: this podcast right now, this specific episode is going to

1012
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:13,640
Speaker 2: change the entire trajectory of your life. So in ten

1013
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 2: years from now, you can say Oliver Hudson changed my

1014
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 2: goddamn life, changed my life, and then that will make

1015
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 2: me feel good and I'll feel very powerful, and then

1016
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 2: I got to manifest humility anyway, all right, love you guys.

1017
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 2: I'm out beast