Speaker 1: But I'll tell you when I was judging in the book, Yeah,
Speaker 1: your wife was about to move a nigga out.
Speaker 2: My wife was about to move a nigga in the house.
Speaker 3: Excuse me? Was it a family member in the black community?
Speaker 4: That's really there's a tricky It's tricky, It's right.
Speaker 5: So she was like, yeah, my mom told him he
Speaker 5: could kind of stay with us for a while.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, she did it.
Speaker 3: I don't care.
Speaker 5: She was like, heah, but you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 5: he's like family. I said that nigga ain't like family.
Speaker 5: There's family and then there's not family. And I'm not
Speaker 5: even there. I don't know Hell yet, I've never heard
Speaker 5: the name. And I live in LA with our son.
Speaker 6: And you want another man making Sandwichians.
Speaker 3: Welcome to decisions decisions. I don't think you should say
Speaker 3: the decisions. It sounded like you was talking to cursing.
Speaker 1: You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.
Speaker 1: You want to say together the decisions decisions.
Speaker 3: Hey God, welcome to an their episode.
Speaker 1: Of decisions decisions. I'm your girl, man DYV, and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do my aka's today because to be respectful.
Speaker 2: Don't be respectful of your AKA.
Speaker 3: Well I'm your girl.
Speaker 1: Maybe be aka Pagan Marco aka Peg Decigon aka Peggy
Speaker 1: Buddy a ka ton b Hey everybody, I'm weazy and
Speaker 1: let the church say. Ay know I grew up a
Speaker 1: Jewish girl. They're down bad right now.
Speaker 3: But what we do have in the building is loving,
Speaker 3: not fetter line.
Speaker 1: We're more popularly known as keV on stage, not to
Speaker 1: be confused with Kevin.
Speaker 3: See. You know what crazy ideas used to think it
Speaker 3: was keV on so many people do.
Speaker 2: This is kVA stay.
Speaker 1: He definitely thought that because my first time seeing you,
Speaker 1: I think I mentioned when we were on your episode was.
Speaker 3: On a flight yeah, and I was like, well, I
Speaker 3: know what I'm doing well because I'm next to Kevin.
Speaker 3: He's like, I did think you were cave On, but
Speaker 3: we're from Florida's.
Speaker 5: There's also no at this point, if you know me
Speaker 5: on social media like I don't, I'm very ready to
Speaker 5: say Kevin. I mean, like, this is Kevin stage and
Speaker 5: people just know me. I guess they think, but Kevin
Speaker 5: is a name. But the thing that tripping out people
Speaker 5: who think stage is my real last name.
Speaker 2: And I'm like.
Speaker 3: You ain't.
Speaker 2: Never met nobody whose last name is stage.
Speaker 1: You got put in a bostrophe. It could have been
Speaker 1: you know what, what's quite of black? Are you?
Speaker 3: What? Are regular black? Regular? Regular traditional black?
Speaker 1: Actually actually one eighth Mexican. No, technically that's why you
Speaker 1: were red bone.
Speaker 7: We was trying to tell caw Hey he read, so
Speaker 7: we look at the white balance was off.
Speaker 3: But I was like, can't you a little light skinned?
Speaker 3: Said you red Bone? Any white? He said no, he not,
Speaker 3: And then we like, but this is summer cap. This
Speaker 3: is brown. Just so you know, if you was in Florida,
Speaker 3: is giving red bone?
Speaker 7: Okay, like somebody from across the street goes red and
Speaker 7: red white too dog for red ball.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's just iracial opportunity to make
Speaker 1: put somebody because all we experienced October through March is
Speaker 1: damn they were that white. Or then Mandy and I
Speaker 1: arguing about who's whiter.
Speaker 3: Who's darker? Oh yeah, we literally have.
Speaker 7: We was at the pool yesterday and I was literally like,
Speaker 7: m m, look at me, I'm getting red and they're like, no,
Speaker 7: you're We were literally talking about red light skin yellow.
Speaker 7: We was talking about all the shades of mellown. Then
Speaker 7: my homegirl's like, I'm olive. We said, bitch, we give up,
Speaker 7: she said, olive all of us. We're both sorry for makeup.
Speaker 3: We all.
Speaker 1: Anyway, let's talk about Kevin. So, actually, isn't it a
Speaker 1: brilliant of these things to say church announcements? Okay, I
Speaker 1: want to plug it off the top, Yes, off the top.
Speaker 3: As y'all know, we begged you bitches to buy a book.
Speaker 1: I mean I literally some of you went down the street,
Speaker 1: took the put it down your throat and say, get
Speaker 1: another one. This is what Kim is here to promo
Speaker 1: successful failure. I actually read it. I honestly didn't think
Speaker 1: I I was kind of just like, oh, let me skim.
Speaker 3: Then it was actually fun. Yes, I love this honestly,
Speaker 3: actually fun because we'll also because yeah, I don't assume
Speaker 3: books will be now ours.
Speaker 7: Y'all knew you were getting us eating ass like dick
Speaker 7: all the things.
Speaker 1: So I also didn't pictures imagine someone like the dirty
Speaker 1: and funny shit like I audibly laughed out loud.
Speaker 3: But I do doo.
Speaker 1: I don't care how many people heard the story. By
Speaker 1: the way I brought this up with you, they were
Speaker 1: like yeah, we know the dude story. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't care, I want him to tell it again. But
Speaker 1: that shit was great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I like when church people aren't like two churchy,
Speaker 3: but they give a show name Churchy.
Speaker 5: So although I have a show named Churchie that's on
Speaker 5: BT plus August twenty first period. But I think for me,
Speaker 5: being for me, this is not all people for me.
Speaker 5: I think as Christians, I think we've done a bad
Speaker 5: job of showing how you can actually be a regular person.
Speaker 5: Christianity is a huge part of who you are, but
Speaker 5: it shouldn't be the only thing in the sense of like,
Speaker 5: I mean, like you don't go to movies, you can't
Speaker 5: talk about me, Like everything can't be Oh I.
Speaker 1: Am I was they don't go to you were talking
Speaker 1: about something TV.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: When I was a kid, we couldn't go to the
Speaker 5: movie theater, like that's how my family was raised.
Speaker 2: And I was like, but we could watch movies.
Speaker 7: You didn't have the experience of bringing in a whole
Speaker 7: cooked meal to the movie theater as a child.
Speaker 5: Not until we left El Paso. Like once we left
Speaker 5: my home church, my mom kind of relaxed the guidelines. Okay,
Speaker 5: we were poor anyway, So it wasn't that's why you
Speaker 5: had to bring your own snack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie theaters.
Speaker 3: Brought in leftover in the movie logic. So I've heard
Speaker 3: like Harry Potter, my.
Speaker 5: Pastor was like, the movie theater is sinful, and I
Speaker 5: was like, is it inherent? Is it the movie theater
Speaker 5: or the movies? Long story short, later on in life,
Speaker 5: we felt My grandma told me that his son was
Speaker 5: having sex in the theater.
Speaker 3: I knew.
Speaker 1: I know that that's where most girls get thinking for
Speaker 1: the first time, like the movie theaters is I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be really the beginning of Sinners got a little too long,
Speaker 1: and my my nigg was about to figure me right there,
Speaker 1: and then it started to turn it up, because you remember,
Speaker 1: like right the first ten minutes, it was like, oh
Speaker 1: this is great, great cinematography.
Speaker 7: Oh no, great cinematography? Was you and like the reenact,
Speaker 7: oh my god?
Speaker 2: Yeah. We did it remot.
Speaker 7: Sinners to promote U his comedy tour. And when I say,
Speaker 7: so fucking good, and your wife.
Speaker 2: Was in it too, right, No, that's my homegirl Angel.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, that's who we met. Though in the studio,
Speaker 1: everybody confused Melissa and Angel.
Speaker 3: No, I don't know why we do that act.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, no, God, yes, and I got some Melissa
Speaker 1: shade anyway from the book. Okay, so real quick, CHURCHI
Speaker 1: is we stream it? How do we watch it?
Speaker 5: We stream it on bt Plus on August twenty first,
Speaker 5: all ten episodes will be that day. Believe it's a Thursday.
Speaker 5: If I'm not mistaken, you can watch it in the weekend.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you don't want to download bt
Speaker 1: Plus to make it easier, it's just Amazon Prime and.
Speaker 3: You add it.
Speaker 2: That's all you got to do.
Speaker 3: Period. I didn't realize that.
Speaker 1: If you say, hey, we need you to promote FUSE Plus,
Speaker 1: I was like, please download it Android app stores.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it makes it easier, but it's also confusing because
Speaker 5: you don't That's why I say the platform is it's
Speaker 5: harder to have, like, you know, platform dominance now because
Speaker 5: your TV just has the shows on. Oh you don't
Speaker 5: even know. It's just like you want to watch this,
Speaker 5: you want to and then you press play. If you're
Speaker 5: logged in, you go in. So yes, you can give
Speaker 5: BDT plus on Prime period. You could log in through there.
Speaker 1: Now, Church, here are you bringing? Like, is there any
Speaker 1: raunchiness in it at all.
Speaker 2: There's zero raunches in the first season.
Speaker 3: That's why we're making cap runching, y'all.
Speaker 2: I kissed.
Speaker 5: I kissed a girl in the first season, not a
Speaker 5: cad I kiss with your tongue.
Speaker 2: With my tongue.
Speaker 3: Who watched.
Speaker 5: Her name is Shannie Shockley. She's she had played my
Speaker 5: fiance in the show. I had not kissed another woman
Speaker 5: in since I was sixteen.
Speaker 3: Wait, you and your wife have been together that long.
Speaker 5: Melissa was my my my girlfriend May fifteen, two thousand.
Speaker 5: I asked her to be well technically, long story short,
Speaker 5: I thought we were dating for two weeks and what.
Speaker 3: You thought you were dating?
Speaker 2: How do you think you're doing a school like?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? You want be my girl?
Speaker 5: And I thought she said yeah, So I started. I
Speaker 5: started doing boyfriend's stuff, boyfriend stuff. I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 5: this is my move right, just to say this is
Speaker 5: your knee right?
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 5: I used to do this move where I would like,
Speaker 5: do this like and it would tickle your knee, so
Speaker 5: great move right, Oh my, I did it. She like
Speaker 5: stopped my hand on the bus. She was like, what
Speaker 5: are you doing? I was like, you're my girl. She's like, no,
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 3: And I was like, but remember that time I said
Speaker 3: you're gonna be my girl.
Speaker 2: She's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 8: So I was like, oh so so on May fifteen,
Speaker 8: two thousand, I asked her straight up like, hey, actually,
Speaker 8: it's not even what happened.
Speaker 5: Her cousin, Tony, who's my homeboy to this day. He
Speaker 5: was like, come on, cousin, be with keV. You know
Speaker 5: what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I had been championing this all semester.
Speaker 3: Get the fist.
Speaker 5: I was like, can I you know? She was like,
Speaker 5: be my girl, being my girl, Come on, list that's
Speaker 5: what Tony was saying. She was like, okay, Tony, I
Speaker 5: will be his girl. Dad you happy and threw my hands.
Speaker 5: No free story, threw my hand. We were walking to
Speaker 5: her house from the bus stop.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 5: She said yeah, okay, and she threw my hand and
Speaker 5: I was like, this is gonna be my life.
Speaker 2: And we have never broken up since.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 1: I don't know why that's funny, because I feel like
Speaker 1: everybody any wedding I've ever been to, they'd be like,
Speaker 1: you remember we had want rough pack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've never had a rough pat.
Speaker 2: She tried to break up with me in college.
Speaker 3: Okay, she tried.
Speaker 2: She tried.
Speaker 5: She literally tried, like me and my homeboys and we
Speaker 5: were playing too much Madden. Oh yeah, I would have
Speaker 5: broken up with I was playing Madden.
Speaker 3: You were a gamer.
Speaker 5: I wasn't even a gamer as if like gamers are now.
Speaker 5: But when the new Madden comes out them first two
Speaker 5: three weeks.
Speaker 2: Niggas is only Oh, I tell you're gonna say dazz no, no, no,
Speaker 2: like weeks.
Speaker 5: I mean I was just going by boys possibly played
Speaker 5: the game for the weekend. So apparently she was mad
Speaker 5: that I wasn't like spending enough time with her. Blah
Speaker 5: ballad valid, completely valid. So I'm walking into her dorm,
Speaker 5: up to her dorm to walk into class. Actually was
Speaker 5: just come to check on her, and her door was
Speaker 5: open and she was fussing to her roommate. So the
Speaker 5: big ol' they over here uff in the puppet playing
Speaker 5: the game. Didn't spend no time with me playing the game.
Speaker 5: So so I walked in a room.
Speaker 3: I was like, you good.
Speaker 5: She was like, actually, I think we need to take
Speaker 5: a break. And I was like, and I was like,
Speaker 5: you're a little upset I'm gonna go back to.
Speaker 3: My guess while you go. I was, that's funny, I said,
Speaker 3: you're a little upset.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna I'm gonna go back to my dorm and
Speaker 5: I'll be back in the morning to walk to your class.
Speaker 2: And I did.
Speaker 5: I walked all the way back across campus, so I
Speaker 5: was like a twenty minute walk. I showed up the
Speaker 5: next morning like nothing ever happened, and we have never
Speaker 5: broken up since we.
Speaker 2: Had rough patches.
Speaker 5: Though I ain't gonna hold you, yeah, pandemic rough patch.
Speaker 3: Now because you're spending too much on together or your board. Uh.
Speaker 5: In the pandemic, Yeah, Pandemic was like a mirror out
Speaker 5: of things I think, myriad, I think, how do I
Speaker 5: say this? People weren't realizing how much free time they
Speaker 5: had because of their day to day life. So we
Speaker 5: thought because we were in the house together, we would
Speaker 5: then all of a sudden spend all our time together.
Speaker 2: And I think when we didn't want to.
Speaker 5: It was like incongruent with how we felt because I'm like,
Speaker 5: you know, I'm a touring comedian. You guys have been
Speaker 5: on the road before, like I got my so I'm
Speaker 5: usually in my hotel I'm watching like I have my
Speaker 5: own time. So there was times where I just want
Speaker 5: to go and watch the office in my office with
Speaker 5: the door closed by myself and chill, and you know,
Speaker 5: she was like, you know we why do you want
Speaker 5: to do with me? I'm like, I'd be with you
Speaker 5: all the time. And then the reverse, like when I
Speaker 5: want to be with her. She won her own time,
Speaker 5: and she's not getting her hair done, her nails done,
Speaker 5: and she didn't realize, like just driving to the hair
Speaker 5: salon in La could be an hour and a half.
Speaker 2: She'd go get.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she'd get a nails done, get her hair does.
Speaker 5: She'll go grab lunch so she could have her day.
Speaker 5: So now that's not gone. So we're clashing more than
Speaker 5: we usually do.
Speaker 3: A pandemic was make or break.
Speaker 2: One relationship and true story.
Speaker 5: One day we was into it, deep tension, thick wings
Speaker 5: wasn't saving it because wings often breaks an argument. Chicken
Speaker 5: chicken wing, get then be hungry.
Speaker 3: No, I don't when white people watch stuff and be
Speaker 3: like told chicken wings. Everybody likes chicken.
Speaker 2: It's not a black thing.
Speaker 3: Everybody likes wings.
Speaker 7: You know what, you know what pisses me all about?
Speaker 7: You just saying that bro Alex has his fucking dog
Speaker 7: in here and he's recording it.
Speaker 3: Like looks like a little chicken wing it does you.
Speaker 7: Really like chicken? And now you're being stereotypical Count.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, red bone like a chicken. God damn it.
Speaker 5: So I used to be like, we arguing, like you're
Speaker 5: hungry with wings, and she'd be like, fun and that
Speaker 5: would be the ice breaking.
Speaker 1: What's the flavor of the wings. Of course, you do what.
Speaker 3: You gotta because if you want to make it back.
Speaker 2: So one time, I mean, we was into it.
Speaker 5: We was like walking past each other on the stairs,
Speaker 5: not talking tension people from upstairs downstairs, and she was
Speaker 5: like one day she was like, I'm gonna leave, Like
Speaker 5: I need to go stay in the hotel.
Speaker 3: I just needing to.
Speaker 2: I was not gonna save us.
Speaker 5: She booked the hotel room in Simi Valley, which is
Speaker 5: like way out and she was she, yeah, that's two
Speaker 5: hours ago. They took They took that evidence like a
Speaker 5: whole bunch of cops ave out their true story.
Speaker 3: Not they said the evidence.
Speaker 5: They were they come from Simmy Valley down and harassed
Speaker 5: the niggas and they go right back to Sweet valley
Speaker 5: where so she booked the hotel and like she was leaving,
Speaker 5: and in this moment, I'm like, oh, Like I felt
Speaker 5: like it was gonna be a moment, like if I
Speaker 5: let her go, it was gonna be a moment. I
Speaker 5: was in my draw I'm two seventy, you know, cities hanging,
Speaker 5: belly hanging.
Speaker 2: Over his draws. She goes, pulls her car off the
Speaker 2: garage like the ring.
Speaker 5: The garage app opens and it is like two am
Speaker 5: and she's pulling out and I ran down the stairs
Speaker 5: in my draws, through through the garage before she could
Speaker 5: get out, got in her car and was like, no, no,
Speaker 5: don't leave, like don't nineties R and.
Speaker 3: B don't there. You got on your knees and everything.
Speaker 5: I I went out there because I remember her parents
Speaker 5: got divorced.
Speaker 7: Lady, see if they don't beg bitch, you better just
Speaker 7: go him? Then why not just give.
Speaker 3: Her the night? No, I'm gonna tell you why.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna tell you why because in the moment of
Speaker 5: the way she left, it wasn't that right. It wasn't
Speaker 5: like let me get the night. It was like it
Speaker 5: was it felt like a point and I felt like
Speaker 5: if I let her go. It was gonna be too
Speaker 5: hard to get her back. And her parents have got divorced,
Speaker 5: and we talked to them separately, like what is one
Speaker 5: thing you wish you had done differently? And they both said,
Speaker 5: I wish I would have fought more for my marriage,
Speaker 5: and I wish the other person would have fought for me.
Speaker 5: So I remember being like, I remember that was that black?
Speaker 2: Forget that all right? I just say I remember. I
Speaker 2: remember I was seven years old.
Speaker 3: I remember this.
Speaker 5: So I remembered that in my head and I was like,
Speaker 5: there was no ego, there was no nothing. I was like,
Speaker 5: this girl goes to if I let her go to
Speaker 5: this hotel, I think it's gonna we're gonna cross the point.
Speaker 5: That's gonna be too hard because when she goes, then
Speaker 5: my mind's gonna start being like, oh she left.
Speaker 2: You know you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: This is given me a little info right now. Yeah,
Speaker 3: during an argument with.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend, he said to me when I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I did any space or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, sometimes we just
Speaker 1: be around each other too much, and I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to spot day.
Speaker 3: Maybe I'll just stay there tonight.
Speaker 1: And he was like, are you crazy, Like, no, this
Speaker 1: isn't what house did you grow up? And when you
Speaker 1: just think, oh, I'm just gonna go stay up in
Speaker 1: the rich for the night, know how it works, you
Speaker 1: can go another room.
Speaker 3: We are together.
Speaker 2: We together.
Speaker 3: And I used to look at it like, oh, he
Speaker 3: won't give me space. But hearing you.
Speaker 1: Say this, I understand because it just gets you kind
Speaker 1: of used to like separating when you're angry instead of
Speaker 1: work here.
Speaker 2: And I totally agree.
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying that what you're what you're asking
Speaker 5: for is wrong, I think, but that's comes from a
Speaker 5: healthy place in a healthy moment, like hey, I just
Speaker 5: need to date to myself, blah blah blah like that,
Speaker 5: but in an argument to leave in anger for us,
Speaker 5: for us, it's just for me speaking for myself, speaking
Speaker 5: for myself, for myself, myself, I felt like this was
Speaker 5: a point where she was going to get to the
Speaker 5: hotel and start going in her mind about he let
Speaker 5: me go even though that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3: He didn't even fighting for me.
Speaker 2: And whether there's you didn't run behind the car, and
Speaker 2: I would have.
Speaker 3: I would have.
Speaker 5: I would have wear n four two four, I would
Speaker 5: have put my hamstring, but I would have put my
Speaker 5: hamstring in chase because I really can't get up to
Speaker 5: them speeds no more.
Speaker 2: But we sat in the car. I cried, She.
Speaker 5: Cried, We crowed, we crowed, We crowed together, talked to
Speaker 5: like four A m in the car in the car.
Speaker 3: My draw that's a good one. Not only that she
Speaker 3: stayed in that car because you said the wrong mother.
Speaker 1: If you ever get to the point in the argument
Speaker 1: for like everything's getting better than one thing taking me back.
Speaker 2: And we went in the house and it wasn't even
Speaker 2: like happily ever after.
Speaker 5: In that moment, right, but it's like it was like
Speaker 5: a punt, like we didn't score a touchdown, but we
Speaker 5: didn't throw an interception.
Speaker 2: We just punting for field position and type thing. We
Speaker 2: went to bed.
Speaker 3: Madden is still in the mid I mean.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna give you a sports analogy because that's how
Speaker 5: my mind goes. But I don't want people to think
Speaker 5: like we was like, oh it was perfect, Like no, nigga,
Speaker 5: we had to get through that night.
Speaker 2: And then we went to therapy.
Speaker 5: Like that's probably the impetus for us going to therapy
Speaker 5: because at that we weren't trying to do it, and
Speaker 5: I was partially my fault.
Speaker 2: I still was in the mindset.
Speaker 5: That you know, if you if you had to go
Speaker 5: to therapy, your relationship beyond repair. But like two and
Speaker 5: a half years of therapy, we we only stopped because
Speaker 5: our therapist had a baby.
Speaker 2: And then we were just like.
Speaker 3: All right, now, y'all stopped because the therapist.
Speaker 2: Therapists had a baby.
Speaker 3: I was on the road.
Speaker 7: It was just like, I love that you said that though,
Speaker 7: because like a lot of a lot of couples, yeah,
Speaker 7: therapy is like the last straw for them, but to
Speaker 7: know that you did it for an extended amount of
Speaker 7: time and that it did actually make your make your
Speaker 7: make your relationships stronger.
Speaker 1: He just interviewed a really dope couple s km il
Speaker 1: in there a lesbian couple that came on the show
Speaker 1: and they both both carried their children adopted.
Speaker 2: On the Wives Kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, nice, And they talked about how pregnancy changed
Speaker 1: one of them and they went to therapy together. And
Speaker 1: I just love hearing couples talk about it because I
Speaker 1: feel like even five years ago, you hear a couple
Speaker 1: going to therapy, like, oh.
Speaker 5: That's the stigma that I had. The thing is I
Speaker 5: went we both went to individual therapy.
Speaker 3: Who was your therapist?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: Only because whenever.
Speaker 2: It was it was actually an Asian woman.
Speaker 3: Oh that's.
Speaker 5: There was a couple of times people the therapists were
Speaker 5: like knowing who we were, and it felt like that
Speaker 5: you can't know, you can't page, and then I can't
Speaker 5: pour my heart out, you know, and then they like,
Speaker 5: you know, we saw that video. It's like I can't
Speaker 5: our lady was like English second language Asian immigrant. She
Speaker 5: was a beast. Okay, ke bomb, Yeah, I was. I
Speaker 5: was bombing jokes in there. She was not getting none
Speaker 5: of the humor. She would be like, so, why did
Speaker 5: you think that was a time for a joke. I
Speaker 5: was like, I was trying to like diffuse the situations.
Speaker 5: She wasn't going for none of that stuff. And she
Speaker 5: was very emotion based, and she was the relationship was
Speaker 5: the client. So there would be times where I would
Speaker 5: make it I'd be killing in there like yeah listen,
Speaker 5: and then therapists be on my side and then the
Speaker 5: next time, I I'm getting dogged out and I felt
Speaker 5: like I remember telling him, hey man, it's been like
Speaker 5: three sessions in a row y'all feel like y'all TACTV
Speaker 5: and me, I ain't really getting to talk, you know
Speaker 5: what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: And she was like, oh my bad, and she would
Speaker 2: let me talk and I'd be like, then this what listen?
Speaker 2: Did you know?
Speaker 7: I just liked that you were open to that, because
Speaker 7: I don't think would have made it after my friends
Speaker 7: who have like considered uh therapy for relationships, the man
Speaker 7: wants a black man as a therapist, and it's like,
Speaker 7: you know what I mean, Like men like the partners
Speaker 7: that I know have went through that literally were like,
Speaker 7: I don't want a woman because they're gonna like there's
Speaker 7: a side thing about it. There's an understanding and a
Speaker 7: lot of black men that I know, even seeking.
Speaker 3: Therapy want therapy from other black men, don't.
Speaker 1: I think it's talked about mine with the black like
Speaker 1: neal therapist I had when I had an abusive X.
Speaker 3: Everysode about this. I was only like seventeen to twenty.
Speaker 1: I was in this relationship, and I talked about it
Speaker 1: a little bit in the book, but he's not that
Speaker 1: relevant really in my life anymore. Fifteen years later, it
Speaker 1: was the only time I ever went to a couple
Speaker 1: therapy and there was something he wanted a black man.
Speaker 3: He was so so, so specific. Yeah, we sitting in
Speaker 3: front of the dude maybe he was.
Speaker 1: In his fifties at the time, and I remember he's
Speaker 1: my ex said something to me or did something to me,
Speaker 1: and the therapist peeked. He said, let me talk to
Speaker 1: y'all alone for a second. So he talked to me alone.
Speaker 1: He goes, how old are you? And eighteen or nineteen?
Speaker 1: He was like, listen, I don't know what you grew
Speaker 1: up seeing, but this is this isn't how people that treat.
Speaker 3: You like that love you treat you. Oh.
Speaker 1: Really, you shouldn't be jumping, you shouldn't be asking for
Speaker 1: permission to speak to me. You guys are both in
Speaker 1: a space where you're paying me to give you guidance.
Speaker 3: You don't have to look down. Do you understand that?
Speaker 2: And like you was talking to me, I was right,
Speaker 2: I don't even know.
Speaker 3: I was like, yes, sir, I'm not understanding it right.
Speaker 1: He's like, this is your boyfriend, I'm a medical professional, Like,
Speaker 1: what do you think your life is about to be? Like?
Speaker 1: So then he says, our conversation can always be private, Okay,
Speaker 1: I said, okay, I walk out the room. We get
Speaker 1: back in the car. After he has his session, he
Speaker 1: was like, what the fuck did you tell him? I
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't tell him anything. He said, I
Speaker 1: just a lecture about how to be a man and
Speaker 1: what men don't do. And we never saw that guy again.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Yo, you either get two. You
Speaker 1: get the black male therapist that holds you accountable for
Speaker 1: the Yeah, and you maybe not expect that because you
Speaker 1: expected them to be your dog.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it showed me like, damn, I really thought the
Speaker 1: dude wouldn't be ont myself. Women do get very scared
Speaker 1: of male therapists in the couple situations.
Speaker 3: I can see that.
Speaker 5: And we went through we went through like three or
Speaker 5: four until we settled on one. We had, you know,
Speaker 5: we had a white dude, we had a black woman. Uh,
Speaker 5: we had a Filipino lady, and then the Asian lady.
Speaker 5: We were like, all right, this doesn't work. We just
Speaker 5: don't think therapies for us because it was like, it
Speaker 5: was hard, and your relationship is very tense, so it's like,
Speaker 5: you know, what I'm saying, really got to work. But like,
Speaker 5: even interestingly enough, we had the best sessions when we
Speaker 5: didn't even have like a an argument that week, Like
Speaker 5: I would be like, wellin't gonna talk about.
Speaker 3: It, But of course it'd be the best because now
Speaker 3: your brain is.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, then you can go back to something
Speaker 5: you didn't When we was connecting dogs, I remember one
Speaker 5: of the best sessions we ever had.
Speaker 2: It was so good because I'd hired this ready guard.
Speaker 5: There was a point in time where comedians were people
Speaker 5: were coming up on stage and fighting comedians and I
Speaker 5: ain't no fighter like that, but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I was like, a nigga, real, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: Before Will Smith?
Speaker 5: No, before that, before I mean the DC Young Fly
Speaker 5: knocked somebody out, somebody came on stage to Gary Owen.
Speaker 5: It was like three or four times, and I was like,
Speaker 5: my wife was like we were talking. I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm a provider for a lot of people. She was like,
Speaker 5: I'm not saying you can't fight, but like if you
Speaker 5: get seriously injured, it impacts a lot of people.
Speaker 3: So I mean you could, you could, You could will yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you could still. Comedians can go up there.
Speaker 1: You just gotta know how to talk.
Speaker 3: Manby said. We were gonna get suited. She was like,
Speaker 3: you can't act like I was yelling. You know, we
Speaker 3: know we are. When I tell you what she be
Speaker 3: acting up, I'd be like, you're gonna get sued. Bro,
Speaker 3: they are coming after you.
Speaker 1: Bro Like, no, we didn't get paid and then we
Speaker 1: gotta pay w I mean, I'm like, bitch, that hold
Speaker 1: was my my mama.
Speaker 3: Are gonna get sued?
Speaker 7: That's coming out of your your pots anyway.
Speaker 2: So like we had hired a security guard human Simone
Speaker 2: dude that my wife came. She comes.
Speaker 5: He's still friends with him because I want me some
Speaker 5: I'm still friends with him. He's great, he's fantastic. I'll
Speaker 5: connect you.
Speaker 3: He looks like he got the tattoos, he.
Speaker 2: Got all the Simone stuff.
Speaker 3: Yes, I want I want everything pack listen.
Speaker 2: Yeah he can sing too.
Speaker 3: It's great. I don't even listen. The Roman reigns, all
Speaker 3: of them. They got me, They got me right now,
Speaker 3: maybe they got me. I want the whole family.
Speaker 5: So she was on the road with us and my
Speaker 5: brother in lawst my tour manager. I think her her
Speaker 5: sister came because my wife always comes to some tour stops,
Speaker 5: no matter how many tours. She comes to at least
Speaker 5: five ten shows.
Speaker 7: Not Jackie Christie who basketball wise, Jackie Christie went on
Speaker 7: the road with Doug Christy.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I know this.
Speaker 7: The thing is like that she was a terrible mom
Speaker 7: because she followed him on the road to make sure
Speaker 7: he ain't group and.
Speaker 3: The mom was trying to beat her up on TV.
Speaker 3: It was goody.
Speaker 2: Is that that he who hit her daughter?
Speaker 3: Yes, that's dog Christie's. The daughter was trying to hit them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I never knew. I didn't that is I
Speaker 5: was like, let me say, some things are better.
Speaker 3: I just want to say thank you.
Speaker 7: You bring so much stuff that shouldn't be my algorithm
Speaker 7: into my algorithm the way I look every week for
Speaker 7: the performance of the Sea World.
Speaker 3: Because of you. I just want to thank you. Okay,
Speaker 3: I just want to thank you. Kevi.
Speaker 2: I do like to be a repurpose repurpose stuff.
Speaker 5: So anyway, after the show, my security guard it was
Speaker 5: his first week and my wife was coming.
Speaker 2: So my brother in law sister in law had another car.
Speaker 5: And it's such a simple thing, but it costs such
Speaker 5: a divide between us and I got a couple of
Speaker 5: comedians and we got to suv my security guard to you.
Speaker 2: She's like six or five, don't tell me.
Speaker 3: She was keep describing so long hair, the strong.
Speaker 5: So she's like, We're walking towards the cars and I'm like, Hey,
Speaker 5: which car do you want to write in?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 5: Because I'm trying not to be overbearing. I'm trying not
Speaker 5: to tell her what to do because I've been like
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say controlling, but I want things my way
Speaker 5: and that didn't leave a lot of rooms. This is
Speaker 5: something I'm working on, right. So I'm trying to invite her,
Speaker 5: but I don't say, hey, ride with me. I say
Speaker 5: which car do you want to ride?
Speaker 2: Ride in?
Speaker 5: To give her the choice. She immediately I ride with
Speaker 5: my sister, right, And I was like, nigga, that's it.
Speaker 5: We're gonna be arguing for the rest of the night.
Speaker 5: Like I knew from that moment. A year later, we
Speaker 5: go in therapy and we're talking about this thing, and
Speaker 5: my therapist was like, I want to stop you right here.
Speaker 5: Let's go back to that moment. If you could say something,
Speaker 5: if you could re enact that moment, what would you
Speaker 5: tell Melissa. So I'm like, oh my gosh, Melissa, please
Speaker 5: ride with me, like I want you to ride with
Speaker 5: me to the hotel. She started crying, like she just
Speaker 5: really wanted to feel wanted in that moment, in that moment,
Speaker 5: and just by me asking her instead of inviting her
Speaker 5: and showing her that I want her, it costs such
Speaker 5: a like rift in that moment, and only a therapist
Speaker 5: could give me, give us the idea to like reenact
Speaker 5: the moment, and it was like a healing that part
Speaker 5: of our relationship. We didn't realize how how impactful that
Speaker 5: was for us. So I think that's a perfect example,
Speaker 5: like only a professional could think like that, whatever it
Speaker 5: is for for you, And it gave us a lot
Speaker 5: of tools to learn how to argue, how to defeat
Speaker 5: the problem, not each other, all that type of stuff.
Speaker 5: So it was it was super impact. We haven't went
Speaker 5: in a minute, but we we still use the tools
Speaker 5: now because last night I made her mad.
Speaker 3: What'd you do? Man? I just it wasn't enough lemon
Speaker 3: pepper on the world. It was a little dry.
Speaker 2: I just didn't listen.
Speaker 5: I thought she was wrong about something instead of oh,
Speaker 5: I would never do that.
Speaker 3: And this is the caucasion of me. I love blue cheese.
Speaker 2: With them pieces of.
Speaker 3: A blue cheese, I don't want red. I want blue cheese,
Speaker 3: not ranch.
Speaker 7: It was I hate when they like, uh, stereotype me
Speaker 7: because they bring the ranch first.
Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, at least.
Speaker 2: They just think you're no human beings.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no no no. Blue cheese is elite.
Speaker 3: We're not gonna do that, or we're not gonna do it.
Speaker 3: Let's get into how churchy are you?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yes, this is great.
Speaker 3: It's filthy. You don't know what? Not that. I would
Speaker 3: like you to tell us what these fetishes are. How
Speaker 3: churchy are you? Okay? Starting easy?
Speaker 2: Spitting?
Speaker 3: What would it be during sex?
Speaker 5: Were you you spit in somebody's mouth? There's the trick question.
Speaker 5: Pet play, pet play?
Speaker 2: This is real?
Speaker 3: This is yes, this is real dog being there. No,
Speaker 3: that's best reality. Okay, I don't know, no, no pet play?
Speaker 3: What do you think?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: There we go.
Speaker 5: Wait one person acts like the pet Yes, okay, I
Speaker 5: don't know, y'all.
Speaker 3: And y'all, y'all, you've never you've never, you never?
Speaker 2: Like what are y'all do?
Speaker 3: Like? You? Good boy? Good boy? You did you watch
Speaker 3: Baby Girl? She was like licking a bowl with milk
Speaker 3: and ship. She was acting like a cat. No, he said.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like Halloween is like the real basic
Speaker 1: because you know, if you ca you could act like
Speaker 1: an animal in the bedroom. Though, keV, what animal would
Speaker 1: you be in the bedroom?
Speaker 2: Is doggy style?
Speaker 3: Not enough, that's the position, but it got dog in
Speaker 3: the world. No, no, no, okay, yeah, good boy? Good boy?
Speaker 5: Is that is that pet play? Yeah? You just bark
Speaker 5: and like there we look at you.
Speaker 3: Why would I do that? Cut cup holding?
Speaker 2: Do you know holding?
Speaker 5: I know that's when you like to watch your partner
Speaker 5: get smashed by somebody else?
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, now I don't know why, just like, how
Speaker 3: are you like? Yep? No, cuck holding? Why do you know?
Speaker 2: I've heard that before?
Speaker 3: Okay, you've heard it?
Speaker 2: Yes, is a new one.
Speaker 3: I want to know where you just heard cut holding
Speaker 3: because it wasn't in the church?
Speaker 2: No, the did he trial? He was watching?
Speaker 3: You just learned that word?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I've known before. That's the most recent example.
Speaker 3: That's a popular one, like go smash my girl? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do it like that? Okay, I don't know why, but
Speaker 3: that's you know, no king.
Speaker 1: Period age play? Now have you ever been daddy Kevin?
Speaker 5: No, I guess I'm just I just kept was actually
Speaker 5: with an older person, or you act.
Speaker 7: For so the real, the real kinky part of it.
Speaker 7: There's a king called d l l G Daddy Daddy
Speaker 7: donalddle girl or something like that. So basically a woman
Speaker 7: may act like.
Speaker 1: A child, but not in the super like let's let's
Speaker 1: all be turned off way and be like daddy comes
Speaker 1: to give you just a voice.
Speaker 3: It could be the playful it's.
Speaker 2: Still grow up. We don't not grow up.
Speaker 5: But people like that baby, No, don't even imitated a google.
Speaker 3: Okay, what is an erotic humiliation?
Speaker 5: Look like erotic? You smack your meat ontobody's face.
Speaker 3: Look at you.
Speaker 6: Okay, kill kill, You've advanced here, Wow, you gotta try
Speaker 6: to throw your meat on the forehand from here and there?
Speaker 3: Okay, but why she's reading a book. I just slaper
Speaker 3: with slap it on the forehead.
Speaker 1: So humiliation plays basically like when someone's a submissive mm hmm.
Speaker 3: So like you said, like, there we.
Speaker 1: Go, there we go, and uh, I think a basic one.
Speaker 1: Another one would be, oh, this one's pretty crazy, but
Speaker 1: what do you think it is?
Speaker 3: What the church queer? I just want to see how
Speaker 3: church you are?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Got you?
Speaker 3: And I think I think you just stepped out the
Speaker 3: church slept. What do you think querophilia is queerl Q
Speaker 3: you I are not queer like that. Okay, come on
Speaker 3: the light and route, let's go, Come on author.
Speaker 2: Okay, so net.
Speaker 3: Questions asking questions.
Speaker 1: Okay, So it's actually the real word for a foot
Speaker 1: in hand fetishes. Oh so involving attraction to the hands
Speaker 1: manicures foot jobs is very okay now at all I
Speaker 1: did not know that at all these fetishes.
Speaker 3: What do you think is the one you could do?
Speaker 3: But Melissa.
Speaker 2: Head playing and being a little childish out, I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna curious.
Speaker 3: But you could be a little daddy. You could be
Speaker 3: a little daddy KIV.
Speaker 2: But am I her father?
Speaker 1: Not? If I her father, it's like sugar daddy hot.
Speaker 3: He said, it's gonna splendid state.
Speaker 2: I could bark in the bedroom. I could do a
Speaker 2: pet but to.
Speaker 3: Be you wouldn't just fu some peek. Yeah, like you
Speaker 3: had to go barking.
Speaker 2: I can't that feet. Ain't you know you're not a person.
Speaker 3: You've never put it in your mouth put it on
Speaker 3: my mouth. But I advanced thing.
Speaker 5: But I mean they ain't like give me them feet, girl,
Speaker 5: like I ain't like, oh no, I forget the titties. Man,
Speaker 5: feet is where it's at, and I guarantee them.
Speaker 1: So I used to live above a bar called Lucky
Speaker 1: Jack's back in the day, and this is when, let
Speaker 1: me know, feet niggas really scared me.
Speaker 3: So sometimes I wouldn't be home and you know New
Speaker 3: York man like that.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, hey, would you mind, Like I have
Speaker 1: a package coming and I'll send it to you and
Speaker 1: you know, tell him to come and give it to you.
Speaker 3: He as long as you come, get you with flip
Speaker 3: flop songs.
Speaker 5: Oh see, I've seen a video of this woman had
Speaker 5: her feet outside the window and the guy was on
Speaker 5: a motorcycle and drove by and licked her foot.
Speaker 2: What that is crazy, Kevin?
Speaker 3: What is your algorithm?
Speaker 5: I'm telling you, well, that's my I thought it was
Speaker 5: just like what the fuck? I am always searching for
Speaker 5: something to make a video about.
Speaker 3: So what do you search to find? Something?
Speaker 5: Like just scrolling my Twitter timeline. I'm not like searching
Speaker 5: like typing things in I'm just like scrolling Twitter and
Speaker 5: he just licked her foot and just kept on beat.
Speaker 3: Shit terrified me.
Speaker 5: I don't know why I don't. I mean, my wife
Speaker 5: has pretty feet, but I don't. It'll it ain't like
Speaker 5: a rottic.
Speaker 3: Do you have Wiki feet too?
Speaker 1: I'm on Wiki feet and the photos of me and
Speaker 1: my dead grandmother, Kevin, just me and my grandma at
Speaker 1: a nursing home with my foot kicked up in the grass,
Speaker 1: and they rating that.
Speaker 3: One in eight point nine. That is crazy. That is
Speaker 3: that isthing.
Speaker 2: People are in sad insane.
Speaker 3: Every every day. I am waiting for the aliens. The
Speaker 3: robots are here down.
Speaker 7: I'm kind of excited because we were talking about at
Speaker 7: the pool yesterday and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 7: if I can make it look like however I want.
Speaker 3: I would love to have a robot nigga like as
Speaker 3: my nigga.
Speaker 7: And I get to program him to do and say
Speaker 7: and all let us you said what you know what
Speaker 7: I and all of you guys, because I believe it
Speaker 7: was Ai. Everyone has been sending me Jason Momo with
Speaker 7: his beard cut off, and they're really like the listen
Speaker 7: fellas Fellas, fellas fellows from city.
Speaker 3: Just keep the beard, y'all. Keep the beard. It's why
Speaker 3: God gave it to you.
Speaker 7: God gave you the beard so that y'all could look,
Speaker 7: keep the goddamn hair.
Speaker 3: On your face. I've definitely stopped off and you were done.
Speaker 3: We weren't like, oh wait, you know, oh I'm.
Speaker 2: Not gonna lie change changed.
Speaker 7: Me and my ex used to get into like he
Speaker 7: would come from the barber and I'd literally be like,
Speaker 7: now why did you do that?
Speaker 1: We didn't like. I was like why did you do that?
Speaker 1: Because I felt away like that's something we should discuss.
Speaker 7: And then and then you though, he said, well, you
Speaker 7: change your hair color without asking me, And literally we
Speaker 7: had a whole like talk about I mean, okay, I do,
Speaker 7: but if I'm able to say don't do it, you
Speaker 7: can tell me not to color my hair.
Speaker 2: Okay, got it.
Speaker 7: I wanted just to say as to when he was
Speaker 7: gonna fucking cut his head off his face or not,
Speaker 7: because now I have to look at you and it's different,
Speaker 7: and now I think I'm gonna want back shots more
Speaker 7: instead of missionary.
Speaker 1: And grows back. Okay, ship, I don't want to look
Speaker 1: at this missionary. See, look, we're bringing church into I
Speaker 1: was a part of the missions at one point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember you said that, Yes, you said, you.
Speaker 3: Know, just one point was at one point.
Speaker 1: I don't know, no, no, no, it was like from
Speaker 1: from eight to eleven okay, okay, good, three years okay, ship.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Tree, let's get it to Howie. It's our
Speaker 1: new segment where we basically tried to read you a
Speaker 1: song that you definitely know in.
Speaker 3: A poetic nature.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is great.
Speaker 3: So you have to as the song.
Speaker 2: Okay, she has one.
Speaker 7: I feel like it's if you don't get it off,
Speaker 7: the first goddamn lives provoking your black cart.
Speaker 3: All right, I know, read it, read it really well.
Speaker 1: It's like I've got the world in my palms, your
Speaker 1: girl up under my arms. She's fucked up from the charm.
Speaker 1: She loved the way that dick stay hard from twelve
Speaker 1: till early in the morning. Fine, bitch, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: you heard me.
Speaker 3: I'm strong.
Speaker 1: If you're going through your cycle, I ain't with it.
Speaker 1: I'm gone. You must have heard about them hoes that
Speaker 1: I beat up in my home, my home.
Speaker 3: They wasn't telling the truth. Baby, you know they was wrong.
Speaker 1: Now I need you, you're just because I'm reading it
Speaker 1: this way the week.
Speaker 3: I literally know what a wait?
Speaker 2: Where are you from Texas?
Speaker 3: This nigga? You should know this. You a southern nigga.
Speaker 2: This More Mexico, New Mexico, Arizona.
Speaker 3: Anybody, all right, you want me, you want me to
Speaker 3: reread it?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 3: It's like I got the world of my palm, the
Speaker 3: girl of under my arm, she up from the tar.
Speaker 5: You the way y'all locked in. I just knew y'all knew.
Speaker 3: I knew.
Speaker 2: But I tell you, I never heard those words.
Speaker 3: I like it like that emotion.
Speaker 5: Yes, nigga, I never I I'm talking about. I was
Speaker 5: just listening to that on Tiny Deaths like two days. Yes,
Speaker 5: all that's my bad. Like, wow, I didn't I didn't
Speaker 5: know what Juey was really saying.
Speaker 3: I was finding with him. I didn't really know what
Speaker 3: I was just. You didn't know nothing. I say slow
Speaker 3: motion for me, I was just he was rapping. It
Speaker 3: was like the seventh draw, the other draw.
Speaker 2: You know what do?
Speaker 3: That's what I was saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't really like, I ain't rap a lot.
Speaker 7: Ask you questions about where I'm driving, you like, I
Speaker 7: know all the words that I thought.
Speaker 3: He said it so eloquently.
Speaker 2: Wanted to for the merits on my black car.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 5: I really I already got to need a backer thing.
Speaker 5: I got the punking pie going, I got the cigarette,
Speaker 5: my grit Stein. Now I got I don't know, slow.
Speaker 3: You don't know, mom? You he said it so great.
Speaker 3: I didn't think there was a draw at all.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, Julie got a good rap voice.
Speaker 3: I was just vibing.
Speaker 2: But I didn't listen. I didn't buy the album.
Speaker 3: You know. I couldn't listen. Now you know. Oh wait,
Speaker 3: they wouldn't let you back in the day. Oh that's right.
Speaker 2: I got it. I snuck, but I didn't experience hip
Speaker 2: hop away a lot of other people.
Speaker 1: But it's second you don't like get excited when the
Speaker 1: girls run for the nine nine in the two thousand,
Speaker 1: that's what that was.
Speaker 2: What I was gonna make certain songs, the biggest song.
Speaker 5: I'm aware of almost everything, the biggest right, slow Motion
Speaker 5: I'm aware of, but I didn't like. I didn't have
Speaker 5: that album, so I don't know every song. But then
Speaker 5: there was like either rough Rider's compilation.
Speaker 2: I know all that.
Speaker 5: I had outcast of Southern Playlist and Cadillac Music, so
Speaker 5: there's random things I'm really well versed in. But if
Speaker 5: it wasn't like a big radio song music videos.
Speaker 1: I did make the third verse thinking that the first verse,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, he's gonna get it.
Speaker 3: No, oh god, that was good because the backup song
Speaker 3: that I had.
Speaker 7: You now that I know well you would have I've
Speaker 7: never guessed you would have never guessed it. I don't
Speaker 7: think either of y'all is gonna get this. I was
Speaker 7: speaking a little a little harder. Okay, picture this.
Speaker 1: I'm in my bed, bodies hot, soaking, what thinking about
Speaker 1: the things that I would like to do to you.
Speaker 1: I'm open wide when it comes to freaking you.
Speaker 3: Oh, every time I close my eyes.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's not freaking imagine me, imagine what as can be. Okay,
Speaker 1: between my legs, you're tasting me. Boy, when you get here,
Speaker 1: you know my love will overflow and you ain't gotta
Speaker 1: worry about my clothes because I got my T shirt
Speaker 1: and my pants.
Speaker 2: I know that song.
Speaker 9: I don't know she said all that stuff, but my
Speaker 9: T shirt and my panties even Alex, Okay.
Speaker 1: I this was Yeah, it was a little harder.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I know, but I didn't know. I'm not
Speaker 5: a verse guy, You're not. I'm not listening to the verses.
Speaker 5: I'm just I love watched it up.
Speaker 3: You're on a sex podcast church.
Speaker 2: As I said, I said, it even.
Speaker 3: Like pause, but but you go to church, you can't pause.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we have another segment, were really letting out
Speaker 1: and Mandy, we're doing it a little different.
Speaker 3: So we have we listen and we judge, and we
Speaker 3: do judge. Okay.
Speaker 1: Now it's normally a segment where we're like telling you
Speaker 1: some gossip from our friends. But I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: when I was judging in the book, Yeah, your.
Speaker 3: Wife was about to move a nigga out.
Speaker 2: My wife was about to move a nigga in the house.
Speaker 3: Excuse me? Yeah, we y'all are y'all are on that
Speaker 3: type of sign?
Speaker 2: No, not even like that at all.
Speaker 4: But wait, was a family member in the black community.
Speaker 4: That's really there's a tricky it's tricky. It's so what
Speaker 4: happened was not let me move my bro in. Yes,
Speaker 4: and that's why that's why I was tripping.
Speaker 5: So my son had booked a Little Rascals movie and
Speaker 5: we were living in Washington. I took fmla from my
Speaker 5: job at Boeing, moved down here to La to live
Speaker 5: with him, and like be a. They called mama, your
Speaker 5: data your thing, but like you need a parental guardian
Speaker 5: to be set right at all times. So I'm down
Speaker 5: here for three months.
Speaker 2: He should in the movie two months. So I mean
Speaker 2: one random day after like rehearsal, my wife called.
Speaker 5: She was like, yeah, my, you know, remember I told
Speaker 5: you I'm not gonna say his name, but say his
Speaker 5: name is Johnny. Remember he told you know Johnny. He
Speaker 5: was like, my god brother, he's going through a rough time, like.
Speaker 3: My god brother.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, right, because God wouldn't be one thousand percent
Speaker 5: her godbrother that I knew for sure, Like I knew
Speaker 5: their names, but this wasn't a name I remember knowing
Speaker 5: that you ever heard of, never heard of? Right, So
Speaker 5: she was like, yeah, my mom told him, because her
Speaker 5: mom is like the like mother hen of the neighborhood. Okay,
Speaker 5: that's her thing, and she to this day will give
Speaker 5: you the shirt off her back. She will make sure
Speaker 5: you're okay, you can come live with her, all that
Speaker 5: type of stuff. So he was going through a rough
Speaker 5: time with his wife and got I don't know, maybe
Speaker 5: got kicked out or whatever the reason was. So she
Speaker 5: was like, yeah, my mom told him he could kind
Speaker 5: of stay with us for a while. I was like, no,
Speaker 5: she did it.
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 3: She was like, yeah, but you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: he's like family. I said that nigga ain't like family.
Speaker 2: There's family and then there's not family.
Speaker 5: If you ain't blood related, if it ain't gonna be instant,
Speaker 5: it ain't. You know what I'm saying, not be crash right,
Speaker 5: but that I never heard that nigga in my life.
Speaker 5: And one thousand and I'm not even there. I don't
Speaker 5: know hell yet, I've never heard the name. And I
Speaker 5: live in l a with with our son. And you
Speaker 5: want another man, I haven't making sandwiches.
Speaker 7: Now, let me ask you what would the church want
Speaker 7: you to do?
Speaker 3: Though I don't welcome there, what.
Speaker 2: Can be outside? She's gonna be all right, and that's
Speaker 2: what I thought.
Speaker 3: I was like, wait, you said that. Yes, I don't care.
Speaker 2: But she was like, but he's gonna be homeless.
Speaker 3: And do you know what this chapter of anything?
Speaker 2: So you'll be dead?
Speaker 3: Bro I care, like you were like, though I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm Melissa. Oh no, I'm judging broke and her. I'm
Speaker 3: judging her. I trust her. Here. You that's the thing
Speaker 3: when you're like a giver.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had tip, I've had everybody. I'm telling you like,
Speaker 1: that's me, Like, I'm stay with me. You're in transit,
Speaker 1: like I don't know why to do it. Told me
Speaker 1: now to be like, you know, looking for places. He goes,
Speaker 1: you see this little third bedroom here, this little nook
Speaker 1: you're gonna put a bed into?
Speaker 3: Write in This is not where people live.
Speaker 7: No, I want oh, I got a two bedroom now
Speaker 7: and refuse to put a bed in the want you.
Speaker 7: I don't want my last, my last, my last two
Speaker 7: bedroom apartment. Literally, I ended up having like three or
Speaker 7: four friends. I didn't want a roommate. I didn't want anyone.
Speaker 1: But I'm I'm gonna let someone if there's an extra bed,
Speaker 1: it's more than I want.
Speaker 3: I'm going to couch myself to make it. Put a
Speaker 3: TV in there?
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 5: No, And see Melissa grew up, her grew up with
Speaker 5: foster care children. Her mom was like, I will help
Speaker 5: you bringing people into They were like so they So
Speaker 5: Melissa grew up like that, and that's why I trust her.
Speaker 2: But I don't want that nigga there.
Speaker 5: I don't know that me walking out in a towel
Speaker 5: and appropriate my son mar oh my town just slipping
Speaker 5: and I don't know.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I was mad.
Speaker 7: I'm actually judging her for even asking. But Mom, I'm
Speaker 7: not mad that. I'm not mad that she's I would
Speaker 7: have said.
Speaker 3: That one thousand percent.
Speaker 5: I was like, listen, like, imagine, I said, a girl's
Speaker 5: just gonna come live with me.
Speaker 3: She was like, but it's not like that, blah blah blah,
Speaker 3: and I trust her.
Speaker 2: Want to be clear, that's my boot. I love you.
Speaker 5: I don't trust that. And your mom is tripping. No,
Speaker 5: everybody go to bed.
Speaker 3: Everybody to wherever that is, wherever.
Speaker 5: That bed is, go there. I'm sorry, bro, we can't
Speaker 5: help you. We had a two bedroom house.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, wait bedroom like another prime only one feet
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
Speaker 5: Our bathroom downstairs was in the kitchen, basically like if
Speaker 5: the door closed, but you open the door, you're the
Speaker 5: frigerator to you open the door and the frigerator is
Speaker 5: the first thing you see.
Speaker 2: This house is not shareable.
Speaker 3: What was her response? Did she try to go She because.
Speaker 5: She is a kind and genuine person, she didn't want
Speaker 5: him to be out on the street, but she understood,
Speaker 5: like she didn't really factor how it was gonna make
Speaker 5: me feel and she also grew up.
Speaker 2: Like you got to understand.
Speaker 5: We grew up together, me and Melissa, like from sixteen
Speaker 5: and one of the hardest and one of the best
Speaker 5: thing about over in la is it allowed us to
Speaker 5: grow up for real because we are like heavily influenced
Speaker 5: by our parents, our pastors. We didn't really grow up,
Speaker 5: you know, we black, We're not really telling our parents
Speaker 5: know the stuff. Remember the first within our first month,
Speaker 5: her mother in law, my mother in law, was like,
Speaker 5: I need you this. She had a foster kid and
Speaker 5: she was going out of town. She was like, he
Speaker 5: needs to spend the nine at her house. And I
Speaker 5: was like, no, he's not what. He's like six. She's like,
Speaker 5: can you watch him and spend the night pick him
Speaker 5: up the morning. I was like, no, we can watch
Speaker 5: him and you can pick him up that night and
Speaker 5: we're done.
Speaker 3: She was like why not.
Speaker 2: Why could he spend the night, because I don't he
Speaker 2: my nigga, man, I don't want this hit up house,
Speaker 2: not a six year old.
Speaker 5: No, man, get him out, because if you say yes once,
Speaker 5: then you want two kids and then I'm going to
Speaker 5: the weekend.
Speaker 2: Now you don't open the door. Now, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: not that option.
Speaker 1: You know, we only had one bed as many siblings
Speaker 1: as you.
Speaker 5: We have the same amount of siblings. She's the oldest,
Speaker 5: two younger sisters. I'm the middle. I had older brother,
Speaker 5: younger sisters.
Speaker 1: Okay, because I'm realizing when people have siblings, they're less
Speaker 1: like little children, are.
Speaker 2: I am?
Speaker 3: Okay? Okay?
Speaker 1: So maybe, oh, I'm noticing that like with dating people
Speaker 1: with siblings and having friends with siblings, they're I don't
Speaker 1: want to say less giving, that's a funked up way
Speaker 1: to put it, but a little more selfish with their
Speaker 1: space in a way that I'm not.
Speaker 2: Are you only child? Yes, you both.
Speaker 1: No, I'm the oldest, but I noticed it, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's because you are sharing a lot. Yes, Like with me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, because I don't have anyone around.
Speaker 3: Right, let's do a sleepover it.
Speaker 5: No, I think where you fall in the birth order,
Speaker 5: how many siblings, doesn't matter. It sets you up minus
Speaker 5: one hundred. I was like, absolutely not. And I don't
Speaker 5: want your mom thinking we can have foster kids and
Speaker 5: this is not We're not an option for you to
Speaker 5: help youngest.
Speaker 3: Youngest children are spoiled. I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I'm scared to get in the phase where money you
Speaker 1: gotta start checking.
Speaker 3: My mam all scared, but her.
Speaker 5: Mom respects me. After that, after the foster care kid,
Speaker 5: she was mad at first. She was like, I'm not
Speaker 5: gonna help you at all, and I was like okay,
Speaker 5: like no, and then like two weeks later she was like,
Speaker 5: you know what, I was wrong, Like I was wrong
Speaker 5: to impose that on you. And she never asked again.
Speaker 5: And after that, Nigga tried to live with us, like
Speaker 5: and I don't think it was Johnny bro you that is.
Speaker 5: That is Nigga try to live with us. Your mom
Speaker 5: just trying to help. And I think he was on
Speaker 5: the West Coast. It was really just like, oh, these
Speaker 5: are the closest people to get him out of this
Speaker 5: tough spot, Motel six.
Speaker 2: They'll leave the lot on for you.
Speaker 3: You know that. Did he end up getting back on.
Speaker 2: His speak to him?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: Not my concern period. And I'm dead serious, I know
Speaker 5: you are. I hung off the phone and I was like,
Speaker 5: I didn't think about that. Man, y'all are tripping. No,
Speaker 5: all right, no.
Speaker 2: I'm not home.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as a man, I got to protect my house.
Speaker 2: He could flip. I don't know why he's not. I
Speaker 2: don't know that not now I can't protect you at home.
Speaker 2: And he didn't put his hands on like I think.
Speaker 5: All the worst things, especially if somebody you don't know, right,
Speaker 5: And my son was there, My youngest son was like, two.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie, and not that you care, but
Speaker 3: I would just say, probably a man with terrible dick,
Speaker 3: because for him to not be able to rely on
Speaker 3: any woman, that means his dick was. You thought of
Speaker 3: the worst, and she thought of this. I'm just saying
Speaker 3: the dick was good.
Speaker 7: One of the women that he's ever smashed would have
Speaker 7: brought him in the fact that he had to rely
Speaker 7: on a stranger. It's just ain't gonna lie if he
Speaker 7: fucked me, right, That's what I'm saying. He only gave
Speaker 7: out trash dick his entire life. He deserves me.
Speaker 3: You guys have been don't need to put the kid.
Speaker 2: In to be home.
Speaker 5: She'd be questioning her choices, explaining herself to her friends
Speaker 5: of her family.
Speaker 3: Oh, the friends will talk about her and listen.
Speaker 7: She gonna be like, but that dig big and he
Speaker 7: just need to be here for a little bit till
Speaker 7: he get back on there, let me tell you, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Here to help him.
Speaker 1: A few years ago, maybe four years ago, I fucked
Speaker 1: a homeless nigga.
Speaker 3: Bit not homeless, homeless.
Speaker 1: You were out with Brianda and we were kicking it
Speaker 1: and there was a very cute dude, very like if
Speaker 1: you live in New York, you get a very lower
Speaker 1: east side black guy looks like he's a skateboard looks poor,
Speaker 1: but he's also wearing Rick.
Speaker 3: Omen So who knew. So he's on me.
Speaker 1: We're talking in the street and I'm like, by Alex,
Speaker 1: we're going to the Box. And so we go to
Speaker 1: the Box, which is a very hard club to get
Speaker 1: into New York, and we're vibing. He knows everyone not
Speaker 1: paying for drinks, but it's not coming to me. I'm
Speaker 1: just thinking he's lit. That's why we're not paying for shit.
Speaker 1: Take him home, great sex, wake up. I was like, shit,
Speaker 1: I need some water. He's like, oh, I'll go get
Speaker 1: it where else in the fridge. He opens the fridge
Speaker 1: and goes, damn, you got a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2: You got milk and cheese and stuff, this garmiment.
Speaker 3: Mind you, I'm looking at the dog. I'm looking at
Speaker 3: other valuables in the house.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, god, Dade, I'm looking at the clothes
Speaker 1: and I'm like some ditch bottom. He's fucking raight. So
Speaker 1: he gets back in the bed. I'm just starting to
Speaker 1: look at him, and I'm like, what.
Speaker 3: Do you do? You know him? An artist? I told
Speaker 3: him an artist. I'm like, oh no, and where do
Speaker 3: you live? This is the answer.
Speaker 1: Well, right now, I'm between not too coast west Chester,
Speaker 1: Jersey and.
Speaker 3: Like green Point, that's where he lives.
Speaker 1: You between three neighborhoods that are all within forty five
Speaker 1: minute drive.
Speaker 3: You don't have all.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: Someone says I'm between New York and I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 3: that's about That's what I want to hear you where you.
Speaker 1: Can go to the post office. Then it gets worse.
Speaker 1: He says, what is that is that? Like your dog's
Speaker 1: wear kids to I'm like, that's my dog. So he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: my son has something like that. And where does your
Speaker 1: son live? My son's in DC with his mom. And
Speaker 1: why aren't you there?
Speaker 3: I know that's that's common. Get you home. I ain't
Speaker 3: gonna lie to you'all fucked him again, but.
Speaker 1: I see, look, look.
Speaker 3: Look at it Alan. Oh my god, the story was going.
Speaker 2: But it's the point you were just making up.
Speaker 3: Dick is good. You will never be homel. I'm him
Speaker 3: in Paris. He was out there for fashion week. He
Speaker 3: wasn't that broken.
Speaker 1: Somebody flew him there for art. I'm convinced he was
Speaker 1: selling Dick and art not.
Speaker 3: Here selling good.
Speaker 1: Well, if it was, you did was better than the
Speaker 1: art because he had a gallery opening, and I.
Speaker 3: Was Dick was better than the arts. It was not
Speaker 3: a gallery. It was subjective. It was a pop up
Speaker 3: gallery and a coffee shop. And I said, now it
Speaker 3: was given.
Speaker 2: What's the thing where the kids make a macaroni.
Speaker 3: When you have to make something in school? Diorama?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, that's what diorama.
Speaker 5: It's like a little like shoe box when you put
Speaker 5: like the planets and stuff, or you got your.
Speaker 3: Little I did that be phone girl.
Speaker 1: He did some shit with Legos and if anyone's answering,
Speaker 1: you're gonna know not the Nigeria good like like legos.
Speaker 1: Bitch that where was his arts and crafts? I think
Speaker 1: he stole it from his son. Okay, So successful failing, Yah,
Speaker 1: successful failures. That is the name of your book. A
Speaker 1: few things in there. I wanted to highlight to talk
Speaker 1: about horrible first drink.
Speaker 3: At twenty nine? What the fuck? What was it? What
Speaker 3: the sell us? Shot up?
Speaker 2: Patron, This was in LA.
Speaker 3: I was sure you were about to say I'm a retal, Soary.
Speaker 2: No, No, we was gonna go hard.
Speaker 5: We were super church kids, like I was telling y'all
Speaker 5: and like grew up that like alcohol is sin, sin, sin, right,
Speaker 5: So me and Melissa we're here in La. She would
Speaker 5: come down every other weekend my sod. I was shooting
Speaker 5: little roscuals. But my boys are making videos for Austin TV.
Speaker 5: So we have to shoot two videos and they go
Speaker 5: back home. And also we just missed each other, but
Speaker 5: the company will fly them down. So we're all in
Speaker 5: this little studio corporate housing studio in Burbank, and we're like, we.
Speaker 2: Want to get drunk.
Speaker 8: Man.
Speaker 5: We like we changed in our lives. We didn't we know,
Speaker 5: I gonna believe drinking was a sin, but we didn't
Speaker 5: know how to get started. Got like you know, the
Speaker 5: like single shots. Yeah, patrols. We went to the liquor store.
Speaker 5: We got what.
Speaker 3: Made you shoes? Patrol It was like the bottle.
Speaker 5: It was in the rap songs. They was just I'm
Speaker 5: very gullible. I'm influenced by rap tremendous.
Speaker 3: That my first choice.
Speaker 5: This was twenty twelve, twenty thirteen, twenty.
Speaker 2: That's a good first choice, hennessy.
Speaker 1: Now I'm biologically We wanted to take shots the rock
Speaker 1: like Mexican Mexican. Oh that rock tequila would be the
Speaker 1: first one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that one Mexico? Did they anything? Did you when
Speaker 3: you had it?
Speaker 5: So this is what we thought. I think in my mind,
Speaker 5: we thought we was gonna have like an LSD trip
Speaker 5: right off of one shot patrol well not even I
Speaker 5: guess it was like half a shot technically, because we like,
Speaker 5: oh wait, y'all shared the bottle.
Speaker 2: We poured it into like we puted in Solo cup store.
Speaker 5: Oh so we lights off, boys are sleep reported shots
Speaker 5: half and half cheers were about to get drunk.
Speaker 2: Are you ready ready?
Speaker 5: Okay, we took this this like eleven thirty at night.
Speaker 5: We took the shot of patron burned down our throat.
Speaker 5: We laid down on the bed and all right, here
Speaker 5: it goes. And I'm like prepared, we're both prepared to
Speaker 5: take an LSD trip and be like who we woke
Speaker 5: up the next morning and we were like, I don't
Speaker 5: think anything happened. So we text her sister, her younger sister,
Speaker 5: who was much more fun. She was like, nigga, what
Speaker 5: what You took half a shot of Patron and laid down,
Speaker 5: like I don't think any You gotta drink and dance,
Speaker 5: and like you gotta be dancing, and like you that's
Speaker 5: you're not You're never gonna get drunk off of half
Speaker 5: a shot of Patron.
Speaker 2: So obviously we didn't know what we're doing.
Speaker 3: We tried it again.
Speaker 2: We tried it.
Speaker 5: Again, but I mean that we didn't do it just
Speaker 5: like that, Like now, I've been drunk before.
Speaker 1: But drinking takes activation. That's a good point. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know you're depressed and you sit in the house. Yeah,
Speaker 1: or like I had my first drink in two months
Speaker 1: because I was just like on a little fitness journey.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So this Saturday I went out in La and I
Speaker 1: was like, it's time.
Speaker 3: Man. Let me tell you, it's like riding a bike
Speaker 3: when you're a party guy. I had three SIPs in Cow.
Speaker 3: I said we should call the drug guy. All the
Speaker 3: drug dive hard.
Speaker 1: Summer's the festival that's going on this is three SIPs
Speaker 1: in mescal.
Speaker 3: Care it's ten forty five.
Speaker 1: This is just because you know how they say acid
Speaker 1: and LSD stays in your spine. Drugs can stay in
Speaker 1: your spine. I think I pulled it back out, so
Speaker 1: have three SIPs in mescal.
Speaker 3: And I was like, let's call them all you died.
Speaker 3: Let's fucking the music festivals ending.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a techno rave and he's like, bitch,
Speaker 1: don't we aren't.
Speaker 3: You gonna work the fuck? I'm like, but we need
Speaker 3: this story for the podcast.
Speaker 1: Don't imagine if I get the bag, get a little
Speaker 1: drugs and did I show up?
Speaker 3: I got more to tawn. Did you have you ever
Speaker 3: tried any drugs? Weed?
Speaker 2: Weed is in the book. Okay, I smoked the weeds.
Speaker 3: You smoke the weeds.
Speaker 5: I smoke the weeds one time, one time. One time
Speaker 5: I smoked the weeds. And one time I did an
Speaker 5: edible the full stories in the book.
Speaker 7: Okay, I wanted I had to read you on an
Speaker 7: edible because the first time I took.
Speaker 3: An edible, well it was edible.
Speaker 1: It was during pandemic and uh, my friend at the
Speaker 1: time shout out to destiny.
Speaker 3: She listens to the pod.
Speaker 1: She had a guy that put him into like food
Speaker 1: and so this was my So this was my first time.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh shit, this nigga got.
Speaker 1: Cheesecake, he got he had all the things.
Speaker 3: No, Lie and I probably have shared this story on Horrible.
Speaker 7: So I get the cheesecake, but you know, there's no
Speaker 7: it doesn't say how much wheat is in there.
Speaker 3: And the cheesecake was divine.
Speaker 10: So I literally eat the cheesecake anime and literally next
Speaker 10: thing you know, I am in bed holding up.
Speaker 1: I'm in the group chatting now like mind you, this
Speaker 1: is when all the rappers were dying from shit, and
Speaker 1: I said, oh my god, if I die, y'all.
Speaker 3: It was just the cheesecake. And I'm literally hold on no,
Speaker 3: my heart was out of my chest.
Speaker 1: I'm literally in a fetal position in my bed in
Speaker 1: this group chat like dog. I'm literally I'm so fucking scared. Finally,
Speaker 1: I don't know what happens. Literally, as I'm laying there, I.
Speaker 7: Just start throwing up exorcist style. That's that's the way
Speaker 7: I know it. When I tell you that whole dobb
Speaker 7: baby I had to go. It was exorcistile just because
Speaker 7: I was still so high.
Speaker 3: I was just laying it. That's how I got un high.
Speaker 3: You have to like purge.
Speaker 1: The max limit of cannabis in your body, which is
Speaker 1: it was the max eat dumpsy. But it's only from
Speaker 1: ingesting that the man ship. I was pissed to die.
Speaker 1: So I don't know what Joe motherfucking about. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to get to that. Part of My favorite story
Speaker 1: was the DUDEO, so let's get us.
Speaker 3: We're gonna believe how to here with ship the way
Speaker 3: that this.
Speaker 1: Story is breakfast by the way, he's like, I know
Speaker 1: many of you heard this.
Speaker 3: It's one that I tell all the time. Here we
Speaker 3: go again. That's how I felt writing the book.
Speaker 7: Literally, I didn't want to put that eye peg niggas
Speaker 7: in the book, but literally it was.
Speaker 3: Like, you have to have a chapter about Peggy.
Speaker 7: Mind you was just gonna be about anal sex, my
Speaker 7: first antal orgasm, and then I was like, fuck, okay,
Speaker 7: it's what the audience want. So I had to fucking
Speaker 7: add the Peggy in there. So it was a whole
Speaker 7: It was a whole period now, so doodoo. There was
Speaker 7: other by the way I want you to do story,
Speaker 7: by the way, like check out the manifestation plan. That
Speaker 7: was great, period and the freaking black women thinking and
Speaker 7: racial tension great.
Speaker 3: But let's end on ship. Let's end on Dodo.
Speaker 7: And then we normally like to ask too how much
Speaker 7: it would take for you to be shitted on?
Speaker 3: But we'll save that for the end. Everyone has a number.
Speaker 1: We asked it almost every tenous in eight years.
Speaker 3: Keeps coming back up.
Speaker 5: The short version of the story is that, like many
Speaker 5: things in my life, had I listened to Melissa, this
Speaker 5: would not have happened. Okay, So we were in college,
Speaker 5: and at this time I had an apartment in Tacoma,
Speaker 5: and she she lived with her parents, and but we
Speaker 5: went to school in Seattle. So every Friday we would
Speaker 5: ride the bus together to the Tacoma Dome station and
Speaker 5: I would take her to her parent's house for the weekend,
Speaker 5: drive her back on Sunday. In her dorm, she didn't
Speaker 5: have like a full size refrigerator shed. She had like
Speaker 5: a gallon of dryers Rocky Road ice cream, and she
Speaker 5: had bought it the night before. She was like, I
Speaker 5: was in a Rocky Road mood. You know, I had
Speaker 5: some ice cream. She like ate in some of it.
Speaker 5: Then just couldn't fit in her refrigerator didn't have a
Speaker 5: freeze a part, so she just left it on the things.
Speaker 5: She's like, I'll throw it away when I leave. The
Speaker 5: next day hadn't hadn't thrown it away yet, and we're leaving.
Speaker 5: So I get to her dorm to you know, walk
Speaker 5: there to ride the bus and I'm like, oh, snap,
Speaker 5: I love Rocky Road and I'm gonna have something. She
Speaker 5: was like, oh no, okay, that's that's been sitting out online.
Speaker 5: I was just gonna throw that away when we left, like,
Speaker 5: don't eat that. And I was like why. She was like,
Speaker 5: it's been sitting out all night, like it's gonna mess
Speaker 5: your stomach up and for whatever. And I took that
Speaker 5: as a challenge.
Speaker 3: Wait, this wasn't about milk.
Speaker 1: I thought you were like ice cream is like I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but reading it, I'm thinking, oh, he's lactose.
Speaker 3: No, well he's black, all like we're all yeah, we're
Speaker 3: all lactose. Black thing. I think it's like was sitting
Speaker 3: but also every black person is like those I've heard tolerance. Yes,
Speaker 3: it's the thing I heard.
Speaker 2: It's actually and we're allergic to dairy. We are drinking shouldn't.
Speaker 3: And it was crazy.
Speaker 7: I just found out too almond and old milk not healthy.
Speaker 7: We shouldn't be drinking up milk eper milk.
Speaker 3: It's the algorithm. The algorithm said nothing. I said no.
Speaker 1: They said all milk was about too much water.
Speaker 2: They said, oh, Nook, too much water is bad for you.
Speaker 3: Wait on subway takes back to the ship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but now.
Speaker 3: This makes sense.
Speaker 2: Ice cream.
Speaker 3: We ship after ice cream.
Speaker 2: But if you eat warm ice cream, it'll happen faster.
Speaker 3: You wanted to eat warm ice cream.
Speaker 2: I just really once I saw it, I was like, wait.
Speaker 3: You ate it? I ate before a bus.
Speaker 5: Before a bus and she was like to prove to
Speaker 5: her that my stomach was made of still because for
Speaker 5: whatever reason, when she told me not to eat it,
Speaker 5: I took it as a challenge. She was like, Kevin's
Speaker 5: gonnas your stomach. And I was like, you know know
Speaker 5: my stomach. I can eat this.
Speaker 3: And she was like I do that well leftovers.
Speaker 1: I love like, depending on how many days it's been
Speaker 1: there be like I'll be fine, I'm gonna kill me.
Speaker 3: I do that.
Speaker 1: That's how you felt, Okay, I've done minutes from the.
Speaker 2: Oh Man, it was probably.
Speaker 5: I mean we were getting ready to leave, so it
Speaker 5: was probably no more than twelve minutes.
Speaker 3: How many minutes three on the bus it was.
Speaker 5: Like an hour and ten minutes, and I lasted an
Speaker 5: hour and five minutes. I was on the bus on myself.
Speaker 5: On the bus, I was almost there.
Speaker 3: This thing like do you even know? You should have
Speaker 3: just walk us through? One of the best lines I've
Speaker 3: ever read in the book.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm saying it right because I
Speaker 1: looked out at my backpack and thought about the journals
Speaker 1: in there, and I.
Speaker 5: Was I was gonna do it with my backpack. But
Speaker 5: it was like a forty dollars backpack. It was a
Speaker 5: little jan sport. I don't have forty dollars again, Like
Speaker 5: if I do this backpack, I just don't have no
Speaker 5: backpack no more.
Speaker 2: So I'm not dodoing it in my back.
Speaker 3: But wait, no, you would have had people would have.
Speaker 5: Said, people would have saw me more than people make me.
Speaker 5: I loved that backpaund.
Speaker 3: But didn't start from afart.
Speaker 5: No, So what happened was like I was fighting for
Speaker 5: my life for an hour. Like we get in the
Speaker 5: thing and Melissa went to sleep. She's like all right
Speaker 5: goes to sleep. We start off with no traffic, and
Speaker 5: this is how I'm like, just for like thirty minutes,
Speaker 5: and then I get real hot.
Speaker 2: I start sweating and stuff, and I just can never
Speaker 2: get comfortable.
Speaker 5: And I'm like this, you know, like breathing hard and stuff,
Speaker 5: and the thing is about the human body, which I
Speaker 5: don't understand to this day.
Speaker 3: You don't understand.
Speaker 5: You get close to the bathroom, your mind thinks you're
Speaker 5: at the bathroom.
Speaker 3: It's terrible.
Speaker 5: The worst thing ever happened is we get off the
Speaker 5: freeway to get to the bus station. There's three red
Speaker 5: lights left, Like if I could just make it to
Speaker 5: these three, like I'm gonna destroy the bathroom to come
Speaker 5: a dumb station, which she already discussing because like a
Speaker 5: stain of still toilet.
Speaker 2: It's like a jail toilet. But I gotta do what
Speaker 2: I gotta do. So I'm there and.
Speaker 5: I'm like, you know, your sphincter, it wasn't sphinxing, like
Speaker 5: I remember, like I have. I'm closing my booty hole
Speaker 5: as much as I can. Little farts are escaping, and
Speaker 5: every time I like, dude would come a little closer.
Speaker 3: So that way you're making me squeeze my boot right squeeze.
Speaker 5: I'm doing butt kingles and I'm holding it and then
Speaker 5: I remember like a little fark came out and then
Speaker 5: I couldn't close.
Speaker 2: Like it didn't go it didn't go all the way back.
Speaker 2: No morning.
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, and
Speaker 5: then it just like start like rumbling and I'm trying
Speaker 5: to close and it's not closing. And then it was
Speaker 5: just like oh no, no, oh no, no, no, dude, it's coming out.
Speaker 5: Dude's coming ding, it's coming out, duds coming out, Dude's
Speaker 5: coming out. And then it just like opened and then
Speaker 5: just it was opening and then my butt was open,
Speaker 5: and then the dude was coming out, and I just
Speaker 5: I kind of at one point, I just kind of
Speaker 5: resigned myself and I was just like I could not
Speaker 5: hold it anymore.
Speaker 1: Literally, that's the type of dudoo though, like there's no money.
Speaker 1: I said it had to be solid if I got
Speaker 1: shipped on. That's the type of doodoo that I couldn't
Speaker 1: because I know that was.
Speaker 3: It was just I had had literally the rocky road melted.
Speaker 5: She that's she's sleep almost the whole duration. But when
Speaker 5: I when when it was happening. She she mysteriously woke
Speaker 5: up and she looked at me and I.
Speaker 1: Was just like, oh, she loves you, loves you.
Speaker 3: It was like.
Speaker 7: Because you shorted shitted all the.
Speaker 2: Thing, and it was like the full thing.
Speaker 5: So I had wind breakers on that was at the bottom,
Speaker 5: blue wind breakers on.
Speaker 2: Those are my pants.
Speaker 5: When I stood up, it like it and it clumped
Speaker 5: down and it got doodoo was stuck at my ankles
Speaker 5: and the wind breaker really kept the doodo there. So
Speaker 5: I like doodo on my socks and on my ankle.
Speaker 5: So I had to like walk to the bathroom with
Speaker 5: dodo ankle.
Speaker 3: That is disgusting. That is discussed true story.
Speaker 5: I threw my draws away, I like got the doodo
Speaker 5: out in the like trapped.
Speaker 3: The wind breakers back on.
Speaker 2: I had to go home.
Speaker 3: Wait you didn't. I had to still go home. This
Speaker 3: is at the bus station. There was nothing.
Speaker 2: I'm still the girl.
Speaker 7: Wife didn't ask anybody if they had an extra pair
Speaker 7: of paine.
Speaker 3: Who carries extra pants? You're on a bus, don't people
Speaker 3: got luggage?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: This is no, It's like people just coming home to work.
Speaker 5: It's just a bus. You go to work in Seattle.
Speaker 5: You come home from work.
Speaker 1: Sundays last night, and I'm thinking, I'm sure you've told
Speaker 1: this story.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's just my closer.
Speaker 3: First, like the chocolate Sunday also.
Speaker 5: Making ugh, So I like had doodo everywhere, Yeah, Rocky
Speaker 5: road down your leg, down my leg, And I had
Speaker 5: to go to my apartment before I took her home.
Speaker 5: I had to go to my apartment and take a
Speaker 5: shower through all those clothes away, obviously, and she never
Speaker 5: like she just was like, well, should have listened. She
Speaker 5: never even had to say it. She just had an
Speaker 5: air about her that was like wow. But I remember
Speaker 5: as a stand up. I was a young stand up
Speaker 5: and I didn't even have that joke in my thing.
Speaker 5: I would just be telling people that the story at
Speaker 5: like barbecues and they would be doubling over and laughter.
Speaker 5: And so it was my closer for like a good
Speaker 5: way longer than wow.
Speaker 2: It was a hill.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna hold you reading.
Speaker 1: When you read and laugh, it's kind of embarrassing also
Speaker 1: because shout out to what the fuck was his name?
Speaker 1: The social p sorry I want to delta flight. Dude's like,
Speaker 1: oh love horrible, I'm dying laughing.
Speaker 3: At this dudeo joke and mind you.
Speaker 1: But I'm reading the book on my phone because it's
Speaker 1: not out yet. So he's like, girl, text you and
Speaker 1: I was like, do you know you get on stage?
Speaker 3: And then I said, you never heard about his ship story.
Speaker 3: I'm not joking. Everybody heard that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I read, Yeah, I told you, dog.
Speaker 5: But it's that's I remember. My editor was like, I
Speaker 5: was like, man, I told this story like and they
Speaker 5: were like, new people are gonna read this. Everybody won't
Speaker 5: know and there's a level of detail. You guys know
Speaker 5: when writing a book that on stage you can't do
Speaker 5: it in person like they want you to. I'll be like, bro, okay,
Speaker 5: I got to tell you, but it's so good to
Speaker 5: know that you like, that was a fresh story for you,
Speaker 5: and hopefully somebody else will laugh like you did.
Speaker 3: They don't.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you you don't need you could have heard it,
Speaker 1: seen it and helped him punch up the joke.
Speaker 3: They goddamn book is funny.
Speaker 1: Tell every oh not God, it's already out, okay, tell
Speaker 1: people where to find it and what you're giving out
Speaker 1: for Successful Failure is out September twenty third, thanks to
Speaker 1: the ladies here on Decision Decisions.
Speaker 5: You can now get my Masterclassic if you go to
Speaker 5: the link of my bio and uh you pre order
Speaker 5: pre order the book. You fill out this form and
Speaker 5: then you'll upload the receipt of your pre order and
Speaker 5: we will send you a link of my masterclass over
Speaker 5: thirty hours of how yeah, social media, above and beyond. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I wait, I went hard when y'all said that. I
Speaker 5: was like, this is great because I got y'all y'all
Speaker 5: think our master class.
Speaker 2: Yeah, your masterclass and how to eat out right, oh, how.
Speaker 3: To eat Pussy's that social media but it is that Yeah.
Speaker 3: Sorry guys, you won't get any sex.
Speaker 5: Tips from keV no, no, no, just tips on how
Speaker 5: to grow on social media for me.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's completely free. And that used to be
Speaker 2: three hundred dollars, so it's.
Speaker 3: Hell legit value was three hundred dollars. We made up
Speaker 3: our value.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we were like, this is worth four hundred and
Speaker 7: ninety nine dollars.
Speaker 3: Hey, five pounds high five pounds. But since you were
Speaker 3: the next you put the cost in there.
Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, and mine was two ninety nine for for
Speaker 5: for some years. And you'll get that free and you'll
Speaker 5: get the book. It's a good book.
Speaker 7: Hey, y'all, you helped us do it. We want to
Speaker 7: help Kevy New York Times bestseller. We need I found
Speaker 7: out that like point zero one percent of all authors
Speaker 7: even are able to get that, and we need more
Speaker 7: more black zero one zero one.
Speaker 5: And we don't have Target, y'all, so we can't go
Speaker 5: into Target and buy him.
Speaker 3: But we say support black owned, woman own. That don't
Speaker 3: hurt you too.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that that's what helps you get on the New
Speaker 5: York Times best selling liess more than Amazon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, no, you need them to go.
Speaker 1: Support also kind of makes you feel like, damn, this
Speaker 1: is a good guy.
Speaker 3: I'm glad he got rich. Yes, really like reading it.
Speaker 3: And then also finding out your son had the big
Speaker 3: break first.
Speaker 5: Yes, I had to really say with that I love
Speaker 5: because I didn't name my son after me because I
Speaker 5: was like, I don't want him to have that pressure.
Speaker 5: And then he booked a movie at five, and I
Speaker 5: should have had my name. I could have been getting
Speaker 5: Google a confusion like he was killing. He was on Nickelodeon,
Speaker 5: he was on Little Rod School at like six and four,
Speaker 5: and I was like, I should have been you should
Speaker 5: have been named after me.
Speaker 2: He was, I want to in myself after you.
Speaker 3: Now you're doing a step at forty.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it took on. It took forty. He did it
Speaker 5: at five and six. So uh yeah, it's a good time.
Speaker 5: It's all my it's my life told from the point
Speaker 5: of view of the failures instead of the successes, because
Speaker 5: it's so much more interesting to tell to me and uplifting,
Speaker 5: Like we all taken ls, but we're not all talking
Speaker 5: about them, so I wanted to talk about them because
Speaker 5: it's much more interesting and it tells you how it
Speaker 5: became good at things by being bad at them first.
Speaker 7: Well, I am going to buy a lot of cop
Speaker 7: than you. We're gonna definitely support and it's also.
Speaker 3: A week's lotter ate unless you if someone we're famous.
Speaker 3: But let's moderate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you ever do, when you moderate, when you
Speaker 1: do your book signing, love to come in ask you
Speaker 1: question I'm doing.
Speaker 2: I'm not doing a traditional tour. I'm doing a meet
Speaker 2: and greet tour.
Speaker 3: That's kind of what that's what we did did it,
Speaker 3: that's what we just switched to.
Speaker 1: So now like we're doing the bookstores book signings, yeah, instead.
Speaker 2: Of doing because I was doing the like theaters thing,
Speaker 2: but it's just it's not.
Speaker 3: The same for a book. You gotta, you gotta.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you'll heard someone else say it unprovoked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: canceling our tours, you guys know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'all be canceling stuff.
Speaker 3: Well, it will.
Speaker 2: And I don't do meet and greets. I don't like
Speaker 2: to meet people before or after show.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 1: Also to make it make sense for the even including
Speaker 1: the book, we were charging so much and to have.
Speaker 3: To become a New York ticket.
Speaker 2: Plus the book, it was a lot.
Speaker 7: And so like for us now like being New York
Speaker 7: Times bestsellers and our audience helping us get there.
Speaker 3: It's like, no, we want to bet.
Speaker 2: Y'all still doing it even though you already made it.
Speaker 3: We just did one. This want to make it for
Speaker 3: another week.
Speaker 1: You can make it another week once you're on there.
Speaker 1: And so now that like you now that people go back,
Speaker 1: like the Jay Hudds and all them are back, We're
Speaker 1: hoping to do traditional they really sex or the name
Speaker 1: of the book so well, but.
Speaker 3: All failures are definite.
Speaker 2: K T l A.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'll turn out.
Speaker 1: They said NHB by man Wi.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they yeah, they you know what.
Speaker 1: PR put out for us for press. I don't have
Speaker 1: a hot girl summer. That is what PR pitched.
Speaker 7: Us as because and then the mental health aspect of
Speaker 7: the book we could. They were like, yeah, well you
Speaker 7: bitches know how to have a hot girl summer.
Speaker 3: Let's lean in that.
Speaker 1: But I will tell you I think that God damn it.
Speaker 1: Also because we had such a great time to please
Speaker 1: let our audience who is looking for something else to
Speaker 1: listen to, to be entertained by all.
Speaker 5: This stuffing podcast with me and Angel and Josh is
Speaker 5: a good time.
Speaker 2: The ladies were on there.
Speaker 5: We have a great, great time. If you don't watch
Speaker 5: any other episode, watch their episode. You have a good time.
Speaker 5: Watch other episodes. I'm on Patreon as well. Studios pull
Speaker 5: up to that. I've got the churches coming out on
Speaker 5: the twenty first. I have a show called The Hospital
Speaker 5: that I sold the BT.
Speaker 3: I saw that y'all are listening to the next Tyler.
Speaker 1: Parent period to support certain rich people, sir, because they
Speaker 1: really will put jobs.
Speaker 5: Back into the ye listen, I really to me, it's
Speaker 5: really about bringing everybody with me, Like I love not everybody,
Speaker 5: but as many some of them. Yeah, everybody eat as
Speaker 5: many people as possibly can. But yeah, if you if
Speaker 5: you invest in to me, I invested in the community,
Speaker 5: so it's not just going in my pocket.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 7: Y'all have on side, and y'all already know our book
Speaker 7: is out, no holds bar to doing manifesto of sexual
Speaker 7: exploration and power.
Speaker 3: Get that wherever you get books.
Speaker 7: We also did the audiobook version of it where you
Speaker 7: could hear our places if you liked the podcast, and
Speaker 7: we are also on Patreon. Horrible Decisions is still here,
Speaker 7: just over behind the paywall, So if you want the
Speaker 7: Nancy shit, if you want to hear how Weezy Sex
Speaker 7: more Dick, please go ahead and support it's patreon dot
Speaker 7: com backslash Horrible Decision.
Speaker 3: Thank you, guys. This has been another episode of This
Speaker 3: is the Olds. The City Owns Wee Wee Bye boy
Speaker 3: Shout