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Speaker 1: This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: It's almost for this podcast. We are here, we are lucky,

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Speaker 2: we are gifted. She's part of our team. She's also

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Speaker 2: the Queen Oh franchise. Trista, Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, sir and madam.

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Speaker 3: Hey Trista. Yes, you are literally on every season now.

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Speaker 1: It's been awesome. I love it. It's so much fun

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 4: Like for a long time, I was like you feeling

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Speaker 4: like Joan, like feeling invisible. And then and then for

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Speaker 4: some reason, I don't know what it was, but I

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Speaker 4: reached out to somebody and I was like, dude, like,

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Speaker 4: can I go back on?

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Speaker 1: I love the show.

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Speaker 4: I watch it all the time. I'm a success story,

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Speaker 4: So can I go back on? And yeah, thankfully I

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Speaker 4: asked and they listened.

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Speaker 3: That's really fun. Ben's jealous because he's gone back four times.

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Speaker 3: They cut his scene.

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Speaker 1: Oh I know last time. Then last season they cut you.

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Speaker 2: You went like they've cut me four different times. Now, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I go back. I like go and hang out,

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Speaker 2: but I now to have no expectation. It is fun

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Speaker 2: to go back though.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The worst scene cut ever was Jojo and in Tasia.

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Speaker 3: They both had the quarantine. I think Jojo for a

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Speaker 3: couple more days, for an entire week during COVID, and

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Speaker 3: then and I saw no One for a week in

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Speaker 3: a regular hotel. Well it was a very nice hotel room,

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Speaker 3: but it wasn't like a little cottage or I think

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Speaker 3: it was a hotel room. And then her scene got

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Speaker 3: cut d.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're doing something right, Trista. You're not only

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Speaker 2: making it back, you're making on our screens, which is

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Speaker 2: a gift to us all. Really thank you.

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Speaker 4: There is one thing that I got cut from. I

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Speaker 4: actually asked Joey to be the Bachelor.

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Speaker 1: And they cut it. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Interesting.

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Speaker 4: It was during we were there for the Pickup ball

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Speaker 4: date and Bennett and Claire were like, Hey, do you

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Speaker 4: want to ask him if he'll be the Bachelor?

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Speaker 2: And I was like duh. So we're here tonight to

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Speaker 2: talk about your scene on The Golden Bachelor. Att Trista.

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Speaker 2: We talked about how excited you already go back on

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Speaker 2: the show. That was one of the original questions, like

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Speaker 2: does this make you excited to go back? I want

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Speaker 2: to start this conversation with this question. The theme of

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Speaker 2: this season that Ashley and I have been talked about

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Speaker 2: for Joan at least who we love dearly, yes, is

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Speaker 2: that she might not be ready, Like that's kind of

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Speaker 2: been the like undertone of the season. Is Joan ready

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Speaker 2: to move on?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Obviously? We see in this episode that well, she says

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Speaker 2: that Mark isn't as far along even in that experience

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Speaker 2: as her. So my question for you, after sitting down

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Speaker 2: with her in giving her advice, do you think Joan

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Speaker 2: is ready to move on?

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Speaker 1: I do do.

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Speaker 4: I think that she is struggling because that's natural. You know,

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Speaker 4: she spent how long were they married?

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Speaker 1: Over thirty years?

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Speaker 2: Thirty two years? They said in this episode.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so they were married for thirty two years. That's

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Speaker 4: like if someone is lucky enough to die when they're ninety,

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Speaker 4: that's a third of your life, you know, Like that

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Speaker 4: is a long time to be with someone, and was

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Speaker 4: it was really sad the way that she lost him.

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Speaker 4: So I think that it takes some time, but I

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Speaker 4: do feel like she is ready. When I talked to her,

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Speaker 4: she was struggling a lot with the fantasy sweet part

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Speaker 4: of it. So you know, her kids specifically reached out

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Speaker 4: and said, we don't feel comfortable with this, and I

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Speaker 4: totally get it. You know, want their kids or whatever

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Speaker 4: watching this and being like, you know, like you don't

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Speaker 4: really want your watch your mom make it out with somebody,

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Speaker 4: or your dad make it out with somebody. So I

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Speaker 4: she is all about family and she did not want

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Speaker 4: to put them in an uncomfortable position. And so I

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Speaker 4: think that was weighing pretty heavily on her. And I

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Speaker 4: think when you are embarking on a relationship, right, you

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Speaker 4: want at least I feel like it's like more the

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Speaker 4: norm to you want. You want to know how your

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Speaker 4: compatibility is right physically, and you know, this is a

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Speaker 4: big deal, her moving on from losing John and then

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Speaker 4: going into this new maybe hopefully potentially long term relationship

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Speaker 4: for the rest of her life. And like, I think

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Speaker 4: that's just it's really heavy. You know, there's a lot

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Speaker 4: going into it. It's a very emotional thing. It's a

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Speaker 4: different person, so getting to know these people and we

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Speaker 4: all know it's a very short period of time. It's

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Speaker 4: very stressful. She feels really bad about sending people home

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Speaker 4: because she has a heart, you know, And I think

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Speaker 4: there's just a lot going on. But I do, I

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Speaker 4: truly do feel like at her core that she's ready.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, what was she going to do about what

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Speaker 3: fantasy suiteit's now?

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Speaker 4: So when we talked, she was having a hard time,

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Speaker 4: and I told her, listen, fantasy suite's like in the

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Speaker 4: in the public eye, in the press, it's all about sex.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 4: Everyone thinks, oh, you're going in the fantasy suite, You're

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Speaker 4: having sex.

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Speaker 1: That is not the case.

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Speaker 4: And at least in my experience, in some people's ex sperience,

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Speaker 4: maybe that's what they what they want to be doing

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Speaker 4: in the fantasy suites is just having sex or getting

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Speaker 4: physical or getting intimate physically. But in my mind, the

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Speaker 4: real value in fantasy suites is the time away from

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Speaker 4: the freaking cameras, Like, get the cameras away, get time

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Speaker 4: where you can actually sit down and have a really

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Speaker 4: good deep conversation about your wants, your values, your your desires,

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Speaker 4: you know all of that. And so I gave her

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Speaker 4: that advice is that you know, I get that you're

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Speaker 4: thinking fantasy suites. It's going to look like I'm having

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Speaker 4: sex with three guys or whatever if I go in

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Speaker 4: the fantasy suites.

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Speaker 1: And I just was.

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Speaker 4: Hoping that she would utilize that time. And this is

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Speaker 4: so it was before Hometowns and before Fantasy Suite, So

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Speaker 4: I really wanted to put that.

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Speaker 1: On her art, that.

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Speaker 4: It's really valuable to get in a in a room

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Speaker 4: without anybody else. Just you two make it like more

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Speaker 4: like real life, you know, not like a television show.

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Speaker 3: The guys that are on top of her mind, which

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Speaker 3: ones do you think are the ones that are the

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Speaker 3: front runners?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 3: I mean we are down to the top six, so

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Speaker 3: you know, yes, she likes them all, but like if

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Speaker 3: you had to pick top two, top three right now,

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Speaker 3: who did she seem to light up talking about.

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Speaker 4: If I had to pick top two, I would say, Pascal,

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Speaker 4: I think she really actually loves like h his spontaneity

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Speaker 4: and his like and I listen, you guys, I am

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Speaker 4: so far behind. I haven't I've only watched the first

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Speaker 4: episode and then like a quarter of the second episode,

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Speaker 4: so I don't see what you guys scene like in

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Speaker 4: terms of like what's happening at the house.

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Speaker 3: I think that makes it even more interesting for you

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Speaker 3: to be answering this question.

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Speaker 4: Okay, good, Well, I so I know nothing besides what

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Speaker 4: happened in the first episode and then when they moved

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Speaker 4: into the house. So Pascal, actually I remember her talking

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Speaker 4: about him and really lighting up. I just feel like

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Speaker 4: his Botan eighty. He's like really fun and he's like

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Speaker 4: youthful in a way, like he just you know, he

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Speaker 4: has this money and he doesn't really even care. He

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Speaker 4: just wants to live life and have fun. It seems

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Speaker 4: like that's to me. And then Chalk, I love. I

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Speaker 4: loved how she was talking about Chalk and how he

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Speaker 4: made her feel. I feel like he made her feel safe,

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Speaker 4: and I think that's really important to her, especially on

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Speaker 4: you know, the heels or not on the heels, but

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Speaker 4: in taking into account that she is questioning whether or

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Speaker 4: not she's ready, I think she really wants someone to

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Speaker 4: make her feel safe.

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Speaker 2: I want to go back to your conversation with Joan,

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Speaker 2: because you were called in to give some wisdom at

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Speaker 2: a very unique time in her experience. Obviously this you know,

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Speaker 2: hometowns are next week, and everybody is very excited during

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Speaker 2: this episode, so to show her pictures of family and

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Speaker 2: to tell them about tell her about their families.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The one observation, and I'm going to call it an

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Speaker 2: observation because I don't think it's a criticism because I

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Speaker 2: think this is unique and we're learning how the golden

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Speaker 2: is going to play out and what their love stories

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Speaker 2: look like. Is that Joan has been less physical than

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Speaker 2: you know Gary for sure. You know, the kisses are short,

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Speaker 2: the kisses are not drawn up, the kisses are not

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Speaker 2: you know of plenty, and even so it's made it

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Speaker 2: hard to figure out what guys even during this episode,

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Speaker 2: like what guys she's into and who she's not on

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Speaker 2: that level. So two questions there, why do you think

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Speaker 2: you were called in this moment? And the second from

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Speaker 2: sitting with her and obviously giving the insight that her

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Speaker 2: family was a little cautious of what this would look

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Speaker 2: like on television. Do you think that is why she's

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Speaker 2: been more hesitant to be more physical than you know

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Speaker 2: past seasons.

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Speaker 4: Yes, So she asked them. There were actually two reasons

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Speaker 4: she asked them, and I asked them.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I want to be part of this.

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Speaker 4: I love Joan and we've been you know, we had

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Speaker 4: been messaging each other at the Golden wedding, Milsey pulled

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Speaker 4: me aside or we ended up talking and he's like, okay,

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Speaker 4: what do you think about Golden Bachelorette?

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Speaker 1: Like who would you cast?

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Speaker 4: And I said Leslie and Joan, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: if you don't do uh, Joan, if you don't do Leslie,

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Speaker 4: then I think she should be.

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Speaker 1: On Dancing with the Stars.

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Speaker 4: Obviously that's not the case, and I'm sad for her,

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Speaker 4: but I definitely Joan was on my list. I think

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Speaker 4: that everyone fell in love with her. I fell in

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Speaker 4: love with her, and we stayed in touch, and so

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Speaker 4: I asked if if there was any way that I

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Speaker 4: could be part of her experience, and then she actually asked,

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Speaker 4: And I think it's because you know, she sees a

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Speaker 4: kindred spirit in me in that I was the first

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Speaker 4: bachelorette and she's the first Golden bachelorette. And I truly

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Speaker 4: do feel like we have very similar experiences because when

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Speaker 4: I went on the show and I We've probably talked

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Speaker 4: about this before, but the press was not always like

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Speaker 4: super kind with me. They were calling me all kinds

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Speaker 4: of names, like a slut and I'm gonna look like

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Speaker 4: a horror on television because I've got I'm picking from

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Speaker 4: twenty five guys. You know, of course, the guy picking

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Speaker 4: from twenty five girls is going to look like, you know,

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Speaker 4: macho and like cool and whatever. But the girl's gonna look,

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Speaker 4: you know, trashy, and so when I went on the show,

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Speaker 4: I was very conscientious about being physical with people. And

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Speaker 4: now you know, she's not being called trashy. She just

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Speaker 4: has it in the back of her mind that she

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Speaker 4: wants to be respectful of her children's wishes and just

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Speaker 4: be respectable, you know, on television. So and I think

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Speaker 4: in her mind that means just trying to keep the

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Speaker 4: physicality to a minimum, you know. And so I really

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Speaker 4: do think that she's she's going you know, I don't

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Speaker 4: think it's it's awful. I think it's really interesting to

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Speaker 4: me that you you are using the physical.

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Speaker 1: The physicalness.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what the word is of the people

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Speaker 4: that you see on the show as a gauge as

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Speaker 4: to who they're into, right, So if they're all over

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Speaker 4: somebody and they're just you know, making out left and right,

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Speaker 4: that that means that they're they're number one. But I

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Speaker 4: feel like the people on the Golden are more mature.

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Speaker 4: And why does it have to just be about physicality.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: I definitely don't think at any level it has to

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Speaker 2: just be I do think it is a gauge. It's

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Speaker 2: like one of the you know, there is the conversation,

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Speaker 2: time spent, physical like, it's all those things added up

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Speaker 2: in the one. But on this show, it's hard to

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Speaker 2: it's hard to pinpoint any of those others because, well,

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Speaker 2: time spent we don't always see we don't see the

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Speaker 2: whole conversation. Sometimes bad conversations look as just as intimate

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Speaker 2: as good conversations, and so it's usually it is. I

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Speaker 2: think a big teller on this show is who are

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Speaker 2: you most attracted to physically and what does that physical

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Speaker 2: intimacy look like?

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Speaker 3: You're right, Why do I have this feeling that Joan

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Speaker 3: would prefer this show to end without the pressure of

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Speaker 3: an engagement. Did you gauge that at all?

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Speaker 1: I don't think we talked about it. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know really how she feels about that.

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Speaker 4: I think, like I would think I would guess, knowing

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Speaker 4: Joan as much as I do, I don't know her.

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Speaker 4: You know, I know her well, but I don't know

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Speaker 4: that well. You know, uh, I would say that if

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Speaker 4: you're she's similar to me in that we both went

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Speaker 4: on the show for the right reasons, and if you're

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Speaker 4: gonna take that leap, why not take.

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Speaker 1: The whole leap. Okay, that's that's my take.

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Speaker 4: But but there are people who get there and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 4: this is fun, and I really am not into these people,

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Speaker 4: and maybe it's not gonna last.

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Speaker 1: I don't sense that with Joan. I sensed like that

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Speaker 1: she is there for the long haul.

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Speaker 3: So Gary and Theresa didn't freak her out.

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Speaker 1: You know, we did talk about that. I wish I

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Speaker 1: could remember what we said.

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Speaker 4: She. I asked her if if that was something that

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Speaker 4: worried her, and I believe what she said was no,

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Speaker 4: it doesn't at all. You know, they had their path.

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Speaker 4: I could be wrong, but I know we talked about it.

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Speaker 4: I don't think it was a thing for her. I

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Speaker 4: think that she knows them both really well and she knew,

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Speaker 4: you know, the struggles that they were dealing with, and

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Speaker 4: they just couldn't work it out. And I don't think

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Speaker 4: that that had any bearing on her process.

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Speaker 2: I also would imagine that Joan, walking into this, knowing

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Speaker 2: how committed she is to her family, would have never said, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know what, this sounds fun. For two months for

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Speaker 2: me to leave and be cut off like it had

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Speaker 2: to be a I think this could work for me

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Speaker 2: in this moment and you know, I do think the

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Speaker 2: being on the Golden Show does at a level of complexity.

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Speaker 2: Your grandkids are watching most of the time, right, and

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Speaker 2: that's got to be a wild experience for them. So

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Speaker 2: you're going you're coming in at this time right before

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Speaker 2: hometowns where she's probably going to meet grandkids of these

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Speaker 2: men and kids of these men. Yeah, what do if

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Speaker 2: like when you I don't know, maybe I don't know

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Speaker 2: your process, but when I've called been called back to

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Speaker 2: the show, there's always this there's a rundown of briefing

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Speaker 2: kind of where they're at in their experience, where the

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Speaker 2: lead is, and then it's always what would I hope

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Speaker 2: to be of? Like told in this time when I

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Speaker 2: was on the show if I could remember? Yeah, So

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Speaker 2: for you, like walking into that conversation with Joan, what

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Speaker 2: did you hope she walked away with?

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Speaker 4: Well, first, I wanted to ease her fears about the

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Speaker 4: fantasy suites and let her know she can do whatever

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Speaker 4: she wants and who cares about what people think not

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Speaker 4: in the fantasy suites with her, do what she needs

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Speaker 4: to do in order to really get to know these

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Speaker 4: guys and spend quality time with them.

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Speaker 1: And I think that.

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Speaker 4: Meant that she didn't do fantasy suites in like the

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Speaker 4: traditional way. I think the camera's left and probably gave

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Speaker 4: her some time, but I don't think that she did,

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Speaker 4: like they didn't stay overnight together in a room. So

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Speaker 4: I wanted to make sure that she knew that this

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Speaker 4: is her journey. Yes, there are producers who are telling

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Speaker 4: her they need to do she needs to do a

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Speaker 4: certain thing, you know, certain things, do a certain process, whatever,

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Speaker 4: but stand up for yourself, advocate for yourself because if

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Speaker 4: this is really important, then you should make it happen.

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Speaker 4: And then also a big thing for me was letting

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Speaker 4: her know that on my season, one of my biggest

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Speaker 4: regrets was that I didn't tell Ryan that I was

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Speaker 4: falling in love with him, and still to this day,

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Speaker 4: I regret it. He struggled so much because he was

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Speaker 4: not getting validation from me, to the point where I

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Speaker 4: know I've talked about this before. He disappeared on the

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Speaker 4: day of the final row ceremony, like he went over

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Speaker 4: to the hotel that I think Russ was at, like

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Speaker 4: another hotel and hung out at the pool with Russ.

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Speaker 4: The producers couldn't like his handler couldn't find him, had

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Speaker 4: no idea where he was. They came into the makeup

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Speaker 4: room while I was getting ready and they're like, we

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Speaker 4: can't find Ryan.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh great, amazing. This is stressing me out.

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Speaker 4: So anyway, he was ready to leave, and it's because

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Speaker 4: I didn't give him the validation that I feel like

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Speaker 4: he needed. I felt like I was giving him the

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Speaker 4: validation because I was being lovey with him, but he

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Speaker 4: didn't know. He didn't know how I was with Charlie

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Speaker 4: or with Russ or Greg or whatever.

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Speaker 1: He needed to hear it from me.

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Speaker 4: And I think it is really interesting because you know,

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Speaker 4: in like juxtaposition with you Ben and how you were

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Speaker 4: like you know, all in and you told everybody that

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Speaker 4: you love them.

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Speaker 2: Just like everybody else since me. Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 4: So I basically said it to nobody because I was like,

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Speaker 4: first of all, I was scared because I'm the bachelor,

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Speaker 4: I you know, got to the final row ceremony and

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Speaker 4: then he was like yeah no, and he had just

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Speaker 4: told me two nights before that he was going to

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Speaker 4: pick me. So I I was really worried that things

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Speaker 4: would change and my feelings would change, so I didn't

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Speaker 4: want to give into it.

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Speaker 1: But I wish I had, so I wanted her to

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Speaker 1: know to.

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Speaker 4: Just go all in, like whatever you need to do

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Speaker 4: to get there, whether it's right in a journal, call

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Speaker 4: your kids, talk to the producers, just say it out loud,

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Speaker 4: whatever your process is, Like, do whatever you need to

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Speaker 4: do to really truly hone in on who is making

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Speaker 4: you happy and what you want out of this relationship.

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Speaker 4: And then and then don't be afraid to open up

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Speaker 4: about what you're feeling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish you know. It's sad. It's not sad.

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Speaker 2: It's unfortunate that Joan won't have like the five year

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Speaker 2: perspective here because it's you can't when you're in it.

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Speaker 2: But like, I was just at a Christian conference this

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Speaker 2: week and the number one question asked me was how

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Speaker 2: did you feel about the fantasy suites and what I like?

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Speaker 2: My response was, I think they're vitally important. I think

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Speaker 2: they're so important because it's the first one for your

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Speaker 2: own sanity. It's the first time in three months or

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Speaker 2: two and a half months or whatever. The cameras aren't there,

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Speaker 2: so you just get a chance to like breathe and

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Speaker 2: not worry about like are you picking your nose in

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Speaker 2: the wrong moment, like you just don't have to be

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Speaker 2: in your own head totally. And then it's also just

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Speaker 2: a time for like that breadth to be taken where

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Speaker 2: you know, two humans can connect without the pressures of

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Speaker 2: the show, and the show will make fantasy suites look

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Speaker 2: like whatever they want them to look like. The innu

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Speaker 2: windows will always exist, right unless the storyline is that

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Speaker 2: you're not going to and you make that very clear.

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Speaker 2: But like this is her experience, and I hope she

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Speaker 2: has the peace of mind to know that the world

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Speaker 2: will look at this however they want to, and the

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Speaker 2: show will show it however they want to. But she's,

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Speaker 2: you know, gonna stay true to what you know she believes,

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Speaker 2: and that's awesome. She's done it the whole time. That's

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Speaker 2: why I think she's been a great lead. They're gonna

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Speaker 2: have a hard time placer agree.

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Speaker 4: And I just love that everyone And again, like Golden

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Speaker 4: Bachelor is just so supportive, Like at least so far,

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Speaker 4: I don't know if there's been any drama, but they're

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Speaker 4: of course going to make some kind of drama, but

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's just like refreshing because they're kind

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Speaker 4: like they are mature, and I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I love her and I love her guys, and I'm

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Speaker 1: really hopeful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but Trista, things are coming on. Thanks Will continuing

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Speaker 2: to be a part of the show. It makes the

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Speaker 2: show better. And if you want to hear more of Trista,

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Speaker 2: make sure you continue to check out the Almost Famous

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Speaker 2: podcast og episodes with her and Bob Guinea to the

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Speaker 2: best of all time. Till next time, I've been Ben,

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Speaker 2: ha been.

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Speaker 1: Ashley, I've been Trista.

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Speaker 4: Bye.

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Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.